Torchwood Files
by gracefultree
Summary: Captain Jack Harkness was once a Companion of the Doctor. Ianto Jones once worked at Torchwood London where the Doctor was Public Enemy Number One. This story follows the series and their relationship as it develops from stalking to flirting to so much more. Ch. 1-14 pre-series. Ch. 15-43 season 1. Ch. 44-55 is The Year That Never Was. Season 2 starts with Ch. 56.
1. Chapter 1: Torchwood London

_A/N: Welcome to my story! We begin the day before the Battle of Canary Warf and follow Ianto Jones as he seeks employment at Torchwood Three. My plan is to write up through the first two seasons, then make a decision about CoE. I have ideas for both the Fix-it version and the other version. Hey, maybe I'll end up writing both? Knowing that people are reading and following will encourage me to post faster. (I have scenes written through Cyberwoman, and planned through the first season.) Don't worry, though, there's a lot that has to happen before Ianto can get his new job. Enjoy!  
_

**Torchwood Files**_  
_

_Everyone at Torchwood London knew three rumors about Captain Jack Harkness, director of the Cardiff branch. _

_One: Jack Harkness flirted with anyone, male or female, human or alien. Some said he would shag anyone, too. _

_Two: Jack Harkness traveled with the Doctor. _

_Three: Jack Harkness couldn't die._

**Chapter One: London**

Ianto Jones smiled at his girlfriend Lisa Hallett as she walked into their shared flat and dropped her coat on the floor.

"Lisa," he began, his voice light and teasing. "What have I told you about leaving your things around like that?"

She hung up her coat and walked into the kitchen where he was preparing dinner. They kissed. "Sorry I'm late. I had the most amazing day," she said, her smile growing. "You won't believe who I met!" she exclaimed, her voice higher than normal in her excitement.

Lisa threw herself onto the sofa, kicked off her heels and put he-r feet on the coffee table, winking at Ianto's disapproving glare. "I met Jack Harkness! _The_ Jack Harkness. The one everyone's always talking about."

"You mean, _Captain_ Jack Harkness?" he asked mildly.

"Yes, that one. I guess he was here visiting, to talk about the whole ghost thing, and Yvonne took him on a tour. You should have seen him! He was so handsome." She glanced briefly at Ianto to be sure he wasn't upset that she'd just called another man handsome, but he continued cooking without saying anything, so she continued.

"So, you know how my desk is right near the room with the sphere that no one understands? Well, Yvonne was showing him around, and when she paused to input the security code for the door, he turned and smiled at me. I looked away. But when I looked up, he'd appeared right next to me, leaning his hip against my desk. He introduced himself, so I had to do the same.

"'Nice to meet you, Lisa Hallet' he said. And he turned my hand over and kissed it. Like in _Cinderella_. So I blushed, of course, but luckily he couldn't tell, and this shiver ran through me like I'd touched an electric wire, or something." She paused as Ianto handed her a plate of lasagna and sat down beside her.

"So, what happened next?" Ianto finally asked.

"Well, he noticed my bracelet. He asked where I'd gotten it, and I said my boyfriend, and he said that my boyfriend was very lucky to have me, and I said, yes, he was, and pointed to the picture of us that I have on my desk. You remember the one? The one where I'm in pink and kind of making a claw over your head?

"Then his grin got even bigger, and he said: 'If you and your boyfriend are ever in Cardiff, look me up.' And he winked at me. Then Yvonne called to him and he walked away, but there was his business card on my desk, and all it had was his name and phone number."

"So he's a flirt?" Ianto asked. "We all know that."

"Well, yes, but I was thinking…" she trailed off.

"You were thinking?" Ianto prompted.

"Well, it would be perfect, wouldn't you say? We could go to Cardiff and you could show me where you grew up, and then we could look up Captain Harkness…"

Ianto sighed and put his plate on the coffee table, turning to look at her. "What, exactly, are you suggesting?"

"You've always wanted to try it with a bloke," she answered. "Why not him? If he has even half as much experience as everyone says, I'm sure he's good at it."

Ianto blanched, then blushed. "Lisa, I –"

"Come on, don't say no," she pleaded. "You think I don't know you're bi? Or at least curious? You talk about it every time you're drunk! I mean, it's not like it's a bad thing, or anything. I don't care if you are or aren't, but Captain Harkness is gorgeous and I thought it would be a good idea."

Ianto turned away, speechless.

"Think about it," she said, rising to her feet and taking the dishes into the kitchen. When the dishes were clean, she realized that Ianto had gone to bed already. Sighing, she put the card from Captain Harkness in the pocket of one of Ianto's suits and got undressed to join him in bed. Ianto shifted, presenting his back to her.

"Look, Ianto, I'm sorry," she said, stroking his arm soothingly.

"I don't want to talk about it," Ianto hissed. "I'm with you, Lisa. I'm not interested in being with anyone else."

"All right," she muttered with a sigh. "I guess we should sleep. We have to be on call for the Ghost Shifts tomorrow. Yvonne says they're getting close to a breakthrough."

"I hate those bloody things," Ianto grumbled. "Nothing good's to come of them."

"I have a feeling, though. I think tomorrow will be an exciting day."

"Will Captain Harkness still be around?"

"No, I heard as I was leaving that he was on his way back to Cardiff. They're working on something big over there, too. Trying to analyze where the Ghosts are going to appear next."

"Torchwood London, Torchwood Cardiff, all the same to me," Ianto mumbled, yawning.

"Go to sleep, honey," Lisa said, leaning over to kiss him again. "We have to be at our best for tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2: Searching for Treasures

**Chapter Two: Searching for Treasure**

"I can't believe Jack sent us to do this shit," Owen Harper complained as he climbed over the rubble of the destroyed Torchwood London building at Canary Warf. "If he wants the tech, and he knows what it looks like, he should be the one here."

Suzie Costello sighed. "You know full well that he's over at Buckingham Palace arguing with the Queen to keep us funded. I, for one, want to keep my job."

"Yeah, yeah."

"You think anything works under all this rock?"

"UNIT was pretty thorough. I think they blew up the rest of the building that wasn't already destroyed. Hang on, what's this?" Owen held up a metal devise.

"It's not part of a conversion unit, that's for sure," Suzie muttered, examining it. She shrugged and put in in her backpack.

"You think we'll see any more of those things?"

"No, Jack said they were all taken and destroyed before we got here. I, for one, am glad. Those things weren't human anymore."

"Used to be people," Owen muttered. "Dumb luck, that's for sure. Makes me glad we were locked down and didn't have it happen to us."

"Here's another thing," Suzie said suddenly. It looks like one of the ones Jack told us to watch out for."

Owen grabbed it from her hands and peered at the small screen. He began a string of curses and dropped the machine. "It's porn! Bloody fucking Harkness sent us here for alien porn! That's disgusting."

Suzie picked it up again and consulted her notes. "No, he wanted a different one. But I bet he'll like this." She put it in her backpack.

"Well, come on, then. Nothing else to find here. I think there's another section over there." Owen started off, not bothering to make sure Suzie was following him, so he didn't see her pick something else up from the ground and put it in her jacket pocket.

"Hurry up!" Owen shouted. "We don't have all day."

"Owen, you're such a wanker," Suzie shouted back, hurrying to catch up.

"Oi, you like that I'm a wanker. Said so yourself. When was that again? Last night, when my dick was shoved so far up your —"

Suzie slapped him hard across the face. "Fuck you, Owen, this is not the time," she growled.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, holding his cheek.

With a sigh, Suzie pushed past him to look at the next piece of tech she found amid the rubble.


	3. Chapter 3: Getting a job

**Chapter Three: Getting a Job**

Plan A

Ianto could think of only one thing: getting into Torchwood Three. He had to. He had to do it for Lisa. If there was any hope of saving her, he had to do it, and the quickest way seemed to be through Captain Harkness. He looked at the business card in his hand for the fifth time in two minutes. _Just dial,_ he ordered himself. _Tell him about the Weevil and throw the phone away. He won't be able to track you. Can't let him find me. I have to find him, otherwise the plan won't work. _

Taking a deep breath, Ianto dialed.

"Harkness."

Ianto froze, his mouth working but no sounds coming out. The captain was American. How come no one ever mentioned that?

"This is Harkness. You have two seconds to convince me not to hang up this phone."

"Strange creature," Ianto managed, his voice lower than usual through his nervousness. "In the park. Doesn't look human." He hung up and threw the phone overhead in the direction of the Weevil he'd seen half an hour ago. If Torchwood Three was any good, they'd be there in a few minutes.

Captain Harkness did not disappoint. Within seven minutes, a black SUV screeched to a stop by the sidewalk near Ianto's hiding place. He watched as Harkness slammed the driver's door closed and went to the back of the SUV to look for something. Closing the hatch, he pressed a button on his earpiece.

"Tosh, I'm here. What do you have?" He listened for a minute as he purposely walked in the direction of the Weevil. "Ok. Now, have you figured out who has my number?" He paused. "Disposable phone, of course. Why can't they just tell me who they are? I had a boyfriend once…"

Ianto followed the captain as he searched the park. He ducked behind a tree as the captain bent to pick something up.

"I've got the phone. I'll need a fingerprint scan when I get back to the Hub."

Ianto cursed silently to himself. _Fingerprints! Shit. How could I have forgotten something so basic? _he demanded silently. _They'll find me out for sure. Gotta make this count. He's almost at the Weevil. Gotta make contact tonight. _

He watched in horror as the Weevil surprised the captain, knocking him down and biting at his neck. Without thinking, Ianto grabbed a large stick and rushed at the Weevil, distracting it. The Weevil growled and lunged at him, grabbing him. Ianto shouted, terrified. He hadn't planned on this. Without warning, the captain pulled the Weevil off him and subdued it with some kind of spray, covering its head with a dark hood.

"Thanks," Ianto said, leaning against a tree, trying to catch his breath.

"No, thank you," the captain answered. He paused briefly, his voice softening as he continued, his eyes raking up and down Ianto's body, noting the tight jeans and obvious youth. "And you are?"

"Jones. Ianto Jones."

"Nice to meet you, Jones, Ianto Jones. Captain Jack Harkness." Harkness extended a hand, which Ianto shook. Electricity sparked between them at the touch. _Just like Lisa said, _Ianto thought. Harkness smiled wider as he looked over Ianto again. Was the man flirting with him already?

"Lucky escape," Ianto blurted.

"I had it under control."

"Think so? Looked pretty vicious." Ianto felt himself smiling in return. He stepped forward. "You were – um –" Ianto reached in Harkness' direction, dropping his hand when Harkness backed away. "You _were_ – bleeding."

"I've had worse from shaving."

Ianto pretended to consider the still form on the ground. "Looked like a Weevil to me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Harkness said, too quickly. Their eyes met. "I'll take him from here," Harkness added, moving to pick up the Weevil and hauling it over his shoulders in a fireman's carry. "Thanks for the assistance," he added, meeting Ianto's eyes again briefly before walking away.

"Anytime."

Harkness continued walking, his back to Ianto.

"By the way," Ianto said, hoping to get more of a response. "Love the coat." Harkness grunted and continued walking. _Shit,_ Ianto thought to himself. _That didn't go very well. Time for Plan B. _

Plan B

Ianto arrived at the Plass at 6am, knowing that Harkness left the Tourist Office around 6:30 most mornings for coffee. He'd dressed with care, jeans, dark jacket, and a buttoned-down shirt open to expose the necklace Lisa had given him for his birthday last year. She called it his "sexy necklace," and Ianto hoped it would impress the captain. He smiled as he saw Harkness leave the building.

"Morning!" Ianto said enthusiastically, extending a mug of coffee. "Coffee?"

Harkness paused. After what Ianto felt was an extremely long moment, he accepted the mug and took a tentative sip. "Wow," he exclaimed, handing the mug back.

The interview was brief and unsatisfying. Ianto cringed inside when he couldn't stop himself from begging for a job, going so far as to offer to work for free. He knew he sounded desperate, but he couldn't stop himself. Lisa needed him to get the job, to get back into Torchwood. Harkness walked away.

In a last-ditch effort to get the captain to notice him, Ianto complemented the coat again, knowing he was flirting, and realizing as he did so that it was World War II vintage military. It was actually quite attractive, he found himself thinking. _If one were to think about men that way,_ Ianto added silently. _Which I'm not. He's just a means to an end. _

_He liked the coffee, though. I'm sure of it. Time for Plan C. _

Plan C

Every morning for a week, Ianto brought a large thermos of coffee to the Plass. He placed it outside the door of the tourist office that was the cover for Torchwood and left the area for a few hours, returning at lunchtime to read a book in a nearby restaurant. He never saw Harkness, but when he gathered the thermos in the evenings, the coffee was always gone.

The eighth day of his vigil, Ianto decided to switch things up and settled onto a bench in the Plass with his book. Within half-an hour, he saw two of the Torchwood staff, minus Harkness, walking in the direction of his bench. He moved to a different seat so that they wouldn't see him.

"Owen, you can't," a Japanese woman Ianto recognized from his research as Toshiko Sato said as she and Owen Harper, the Torchwood medic, stood in line for their sandwiches at a food cart.

"Oh, come on, Tosh, you can't tell me you're ok that Jack's the only one with access to the great coffee the kid makes," Owen grumbled. "I mean, look at his face! It's like he's having a fucking orgasm just from the coffee."

"That's not the point. If Jack finds out that we're trying to get in touch with his stalker, he'll be really angry."

"Well, Jack needs to bugger off. I need coffee, just like him, and it's not fair that he gets the good stuff while we have crap. I mean, the bastard won't share, and it's been a week now, so we know the kid's going to keep doing it."

"Owen," Toshiko said again, trailing off without finishing her thought.

"Oi, Jones!" Owen shouted, garnering looks from several people in the immediate vicinity. "I know you're here somewhere, so listen up. I take my coffee black, with lots of sugar. Tosh here takes hers with that hazelnut cream shit. Don't know about Suzie, but start bringing coffee for all of us, you hear?" With a final growl, Owen turned on his heel and stormed back to the tourist office.

On his bench, Ianto smiled. _Progress. Now it's Plan D. _

Plan D

Five days after Ianto started leaving coffee for the entire Torchwood team, Toshiko came up beside him while he was leaning against the railing overlooking the water. She didn't look at him, nor did he look at her.

"Thank you for the coffee," she said softly, as if to herself. "It's really good." She paused. "Jack can be stubborn, but you _do_ have his attention."

Ianto nodded silently.

"He watches you on the CCTV sometimes. Especially when you're in a suit." She glanced quickly at Ianto's profile. Ianto looked over at the same time. Their eyes met. "I have to go. I can't let him see me near you." She smiled hesitantly and hurried off.

Ianto watched her retreating back as he filed away the information about Harkness for the next phase of his assault. _Perhaps I should take away his coffee, _he mused. _No, that would just make him angry. Gotta think of something else. Keep wearing suits, maybe, and play into his libido? Plan E. _

Plan E

Two weeks after Toshiko spoke to him, Ianto was tending to Lisa when his Rift activity locator beeped. Glancing at the screen, he realized the activity was three warehouses down from where he'd set up her life support device. This could be either really good luck, or really bad.

Finding the pterodactyl was simple. Finding out that it liked chocolate was more difficult. Lisa woke briefly to go over Ianto's plan with him. Hack into the Torchwood communication system again, find out where Harkness was, and ambush him. Use the pterodactyl as bait to get him interested. Wear a suit.

***TW TW TW***

Excited laughter died down as they rolled to a stop. Harkness lay under him, the pterodactyl drugged on the floor beside them. Harkness' erection jutted into Ianto's hip, their lips centimeters apart. Their eyes met as their breaths fell in sync. Ianto hardened as Harkness' scent enveloped him. Almost a kiss. They both wanted it; that much was painfully clear. Ianto panicked and jumped to his feet.

"I should go," he whispered.

"Hey!" Harkness called, already on his feet. "Report for work first thing tomorrow."

_I'm in! _Ianto thought, rushing away from Harkness. _He just offered me a job! Well, not offered, really, just told me to show up. That's basically the same thing, isn't it? _

"Like the suit, by the way," Harkness added, the flirtatiousness of his tone echoing the intensity of the moment earlier. Ianto's cock twitched at the tone and memory. He hastened away, not responding in words, his cheeks flaming.

Driving with an erection was never easy, but Ianto managed. He couldn't go to Lisa like this. He couldn't be near her when his attraction to the captain was so blatantly obvious. She was right. He was gorgeous.

Alone at his flat, the flat still filled with boxes waiting to be unpacked, Ianto stripped and jumped into the shower, desperate to get rid of the scent of the captain on his skin. Without realizing what he was doing, Ianto began stroking his hard on, soap slick against his skin.

_What would it be like? _he wondered. _Do his lips taste as good as he smells? Does his cock? Does he taste anything like me? God, I bet he's big. He felt big, and he'd barely had time to harden. He must be huge. Fuck, is there a way to do it so that it doesn't hurt? If anyone knows, I bet he would. _

Ianto's eyes closed as he stroked harder, faster. _How does he do it with someone new? Does he even bother with foreplay? He probably doesn't have to, does he? A man like him has a parade of willing partners in his bed every night. No need to kiss or caress. No need to look them in the eye and say, how do you want it? No need to – _

Ianto broke off, his thoughts swirling in new patterns. _No need to think about love, or tenderness. Jack Harkness is all about shagging, about filling any willing hole with his cock – From the front, from behind –_

_Coming at me from behind –_

_Filling my willing hole – _

_Fuck –_

With a cry, Ianto orgasmed.

***TW TW TW***

"You smell different," Lisa said in greeting when Ianto joined her at the warehouse an hour later, freshly showered. "You smell like _him_. Like Harkness." Ianto blinked in surprise. Surely he'd washed any lingering scent from his skin? He hadn't even touched Harkness. Was it his suit? He hadn't thought to change it, though he'd picked out a new shirt and tie for the next day. He figured Harkness hadn't gotten a good enough look at it, and would go shopping for more clothes once his job was secure.

"How's the pain?" Ianto asked, trying to deflect the conversation.

"Bearable."

"I got the job. I start tomorrow. It'll take a little while to find a way to get you in there, but we'll figure it out. I'll make sure it happens, darling. I'll find a way to save you." He gripped Lisa's hand and bent to kiss her gently.

"You smell of semen," Lisa declared. "But not _his._"

"Lisa –" Ianto paused, his face heating in embarrassment. Had her sense of smell gotten better along with her hearing? "He was attracted to me. It got to me a little, so I had to take care of it by myself. We – we caught the pterodactyl, like you and me talked about, and he liked the suit, so–"

She interrupted him before he could finish explaining. "Good. Use sex to get us what we need," she said firmly. He'd never heard her voice like that before. It almost sounded mechanical.

"Lisa, I'm with you," Ianto protested. "I can't cheat on you."

"Of course you can."

"No, it's not right. Wanking in the shower is one thing, but to actually _do_ something with him is out of the question. I'll flirt. We talked about that. I agreed to that. But – "

"Ianto, you promised that you would do anything in your power to make this right. If having sex with Harkness makes it happen faster, you need to do it. You promised me."

"I know. I know I did, Lisa."

"Then the matter's settled." Lisa closed her eyes and swiftly fell asleep. Ianto took a deep breath and let it out before closing down the extra lights and settling into a chair to wait for dawn and his new job.


	4. Chapter 4: Ianto's first day

**Chapter 4: Ianto's first day on the job**

Ianto's phone woke him at five in the morning with a text message. He hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep. Grumbling to himself, he pulled it out of his pocket.

_Rift's acting up. Time for your first assignment. Meet me at the office in thirty. Bring coffee. —CJH_

"What is it?" Lisa asked, her voice startling him.

"Harkness has my cell number. He's calling me in for an assignment."

"Good. Get as much information as you can. We will discuss it when you return."

Ianto struggled to get to his feet. His back hurt from sleeping in a folding chair, but he wasn't about to let that stop him from doing his duty to Lisa. Silently, he moved to the coffee machine he'd brought over from his flat the week before when he realized he'd been spending more time with her than at the flat. He portioned the beans and ground them with a yawn.

"It still smells good," Lisa commented. "I feel a little bit more myself when you're making coffee."

Ianto smiled. "I only wish I could give you some. Soon, though. Soon I'll get you into Torchwood and I'll find a way to fix you." The machine hissed, steam escaping. "But for now, I have to get in there to do this mission with him."

"Good luck," Lisa said, her voice softer and more noticeably her own. "I love you."

"I love you, too, darling." Ianto bent to kiss her goodbye after filling the thermos.

***TW TW TW***

"You're on time. I like that," Harkness said with a smile as he exited the tourist office at 5:47am. He snatched the thermos from Ianto's hand and poured himself a cup, sighing in pleasure at the first sip.

_It _does _look like he's having an orgasm from the coffee, _Ianto thought, surprised. _Is that what he looks like when he's having a real one? God, can't think about that. Gotta deflect. _

"Actually, sir, I was three minutes early. You, on the other hand, are seventeen minutes late." Ianto tapped his watch in emphasis.

Harkness' smile grew bigger. "So Ianto Jones has a bite? I wouldn't have expected that."

"There's a lot you don't know about me, sir," Ianto murmured, using the innuendo in Harkness' voice as a cue and adding some of his own. His cock twinged in response to the flirting.

"I know you make the best cup of coffee this side of the galaxy," Harkness replied, winking and downing a second cup before handing it and the thermos back to Ianto. "Come to think of it, do they have coffee on the other side of the galaxy? Hmm, I'm not sure. We'll have to look into that some day…" Harkness drifted off in thought for a moment before remembering Ianto. "What more do I need to know about you?" When Ianto remained silent, Harkness continued. "Come on." With a wave of his hand, Harkness motioned Ianto to follow.

Talking the entire time, a combination of lewd stories, seemingly random bits of information about a range of subjects and a description of the base and the purpose of items he pointed out, Harkness led Ianto through the tourist office and down the corridors to the lift to the main base. He explained that they called the base "the Hub," and pointed out the different workstations, offices, and other locales as they passed through the cavernous room towards another set of corridors and stairs to the Torchwood SUV. Ianto made special note of the armory, Harkness' office, and the medical bay/autopsy area. He slipped into the passenger seat as Harkness opened the vehicle.

"This is just debris retrieval," Harkness said as he started the car. "By the time we get back, the rest of the team should be in, so I can introduce you." He patted Ianto's thigh. "Just make them some of that fabulous coffee, fresh, and you'll be fine."

"Yes, sir," Ianto answered, glancing up from the small notebook in his hands, choosing to ignore the hand still resting on his leg.

"Call me Jack. Everyone else does. You're taking notes?"

"Of course, sir." Ianto refrained from mentioning that he was transcribing as much of their conversation as he could manage so he could talk to Lisa about it later.

"Huh." Harkness shrugged, removing his hand, clearly not expecting to be rebuffed.

"While we're driving, sir, would you mind going over my duties?"

"Your duties?" Harkness leered, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"Of the job, sir," Ianto said, struggling to keep his face impassive. If Harkness flirted this much all the time, Ianto knew he would be wanking in the shower every day. The man seemed to have no shame, and he was very easy on the eyes. And some of his stories! The couldn't possibly be true, could they?

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." Harkness paused, thinking. "Let's see. We'll need you to manage the tourist office as our cover. We don't get that many people, but it's usually a few a day, and we've gotten a few complaints for being closed all the time. That means you'll have to make contacts with the tourist board. There's a computer there, as you saw, and I know it looks ancient, but Toshiko upgraded the insides so you'll have complete access to the Hub's databases, servers and programs.

"We'll need you to help with clean up and taking care of retconning civilians if the rest of us can't get to it. Have you had field training?"

"Just basic firearms and psychic, sir, like everyone else. I was a researcher at the London office, so there was no need for anything more extensive."

"What was your psychic rating?"

"Negligible. I didn't receive anything beyond the first two weeks."

"You sound like you wanted more."

"There's always more to learn, about everything."

Harkness grunted. "Well, we'll have to work some of the fieldwork into your job here. I know clean up doesn't sound too dangerous, but you'd be surprised as to what the Rift will spit out. There's a lot of freaky stuff around here, that's not just something you read about in a report/ You'll be holding it, even standing in its entrails, sometimes."

"Will I be required in the field, sir?" Ianto asked, not able to keep the apprehension from his voice. He didn't like the sound of standing in something's entrails, nor did he like the idea of carrying a gun to actually shoot at something. But if doing it gained Harkness' trust and therefor helped Lisa, he would do it and not complain.

"Not at first," Harkness said, answering his question while Ianto's mind wandered briefly. "I'll take you out on easier missions. Debris retrieval, questioning of witnesses, that sort of thing. Once you're settled, I'll give you some advanced weapons training."

"I assume there are personnel handbooks and training manuals?"

"Um, no. Not really. We're a small operation, and most of us are cross-trained on each other's systems. I'll assign you to Tosh first, since the tech stuff will mesh with the archival maintenance."

"What else, sir?"

"You'll be in charge of food and drink, as you suggested last night. This includes keeping the team caffeinated. You've managed to get us all addicted to your coffee in a matter of weeks, it seems." Harkness grinned. "Building maintenance, of course. If you really meant it about the dry cleaning… it's not really official business, but …"

"Of course, sir." Ianto noted down all of the duties Harkness mentioned in shorthand, glad for once that he'd taken the time to learn it. "If I'm to be a butler, I'll need to make sure my charge is presentable, won't I?" He smiled shyly at Harkness, getting another pat on the knee in return.

"And you'll need to feed the pterodactyl," Harkness added.

"Do you know what they eat?"

Harkness considered before answering. "They're omnivores, but they prefer meat or fish. Experiment with different types to find out what seems to work best. Though it might be good to mix in some veggies for the vitamins. And I think some species enjoy fish most of all, but I wasn't around them long enough to know for sure." Harkness pulled around a corner and tapped the onboard GPS that was clearly an upgraded model. Another Toshiko Sato Special, Ianto assumed. "Almost there."

"What did you do with the Weevil, sir?"

"We try not to kill them. It doesn't seem right to do it, somehow. So we tag them and release them back into the sewers, like they do with tigers and elephants in Africa. But for some reason Owen wants to study Janet. You'll probably have to feed her, too."

"You call the Weevil 'Janet'?"

"Suzie wanted George, but that reminded me too much of a guy I dated once. Nice guy, but really bad manners. Liked to growl when he was upset. Actually, kind of like a Weevil, now that you mention it. Hmm, maybe we should change Janet's name?"

"George is the name of Ms. Costello's father, sir. I don't think it would be a good idea to name an alien after him."

"Good point. Janet it is." Harkness turned to look at Ianto. "You know Suzie's father's name?"

"I did some research on my colleagues, sir. It seemed appropriate, given that my job will mostly be administrative and support. Do you know what Weevils eat?"

"Not a clue. Owen's been trying different things, but he's been busy with some complicated dissections, so I'm not sure if Janet's been taken care of appropriately."

"So you're starving her?"

"I wouldn't call it that. She doesn't seem to eat all that often."

"I'll check the Torchwood One servers, though they were more interested in _killing_ the aliens than feeding them."

"You have access to their servers?" Harkness demanded.

"Of course, sir. My username hasn't changed since the attack."

"Huh. I wonder why mine won't work, then. Tosh has been trying to get inside ever since the Battle, and usually that sort of thing is a piece of cake for her."

"That would be the security protocols. In the event of an organizational breach of the magnitude of the Battle, everything defaults to a more secure system. Only those with Torchwood One usernames would be allowed access, since it is assumed that with a breach of that size, the other branches are also compromised and therefore a threat. Even the directors."

"So, basically, what you're saying is that there are 27 people on the whole planet able to access the servers?"

"Correct. And 23 of them are in psychiatric hospitals and similar institutions, retconned back to infancy by themselves or UNIT medics."

"You and three others remember? Who are the other three?"

"One is with UNIT, which is how they had the knowledge of retcon. One has defected to the United States for asylum and the third has been using her stipend to drink herself into delirium." Ianto paused. "I took the liberty of locking the systems, sir, once you offered me employment. If you'd like, I can add you and whichever other staff you think should have access."

"Yes. Make accounts for all of us, please. Our friend in UNIT can't get onto the servers anymore?"

"Correct, sir. And I would point out that he has not used his access since the Battle. Nor did he download anything before I locked the system. I've been monitoring." Ianto couldn't help the pride in his voice. "He was a new recruit, to the military arm, and had been with the organization for only a few weeks before the Battle. He likely doesn't remember that he even _has_ access. I'm sorry. _Had_ access." Ianto chuckled as he corrected himself.

"Remind me to never underestimate you, Ianto Jones," Harkness said, clearly impressed.

Ianto forced a smile onto his face. "Of course, sir."

Harkness pulled the SUV to a halt on the corner. Without preamble, he jumped out and started walking around the back of a yellow house, looking at a device on his wrist the entire time. "Ianto, grab the toolbox and follow me!"

Ianto leapt out of the car and scrambled to the boot where he grabbed the toolbox he had seen the night before. He hesitated for a moment, then grabbed a shielded specimen box as well. Jogging around the side of the house, he found Harkness crouched down by a flower bed. A smoking piece of metal lay amid the tulips.

"Seen anything like this before?" Harkness asked.

"No, sir."

"Do you think this looks like writing?" Harkness pointed to some scratches along the side of the device, being careful not to touch it yet.

"It could be."

"I think Tosh'll like figuring out what it says." Harkness laughed softly. "She's been wanting something new lately. And now that Suzie has this glove to figure out, I'd better give her something to do."

"Glove, sir?" Ianto asked, opening the tool box and finding some heat-resistant gloves to hand to Harkness.

"We dredged the bay last night. There was a metal glove and knife down there, made of the same metal. We think it's a set of some kind. Came though the Rift a few decades ago, but we didn't get around to finding it until yesterday. Suzie's a whiz with tech, so it's up to her to figure out what it does. Tosh is really good, too, but she prefers computers." Harkness accepted the gloves and picked up the metal, carefully placing the item in the box Ianto opened for it. "Careful, it's heavier than it looks."

Ianto shut the cover and locked the box. "Is this it?"

"Looks like it." Harkness pulled off the gloves and threw them into the toolbox. Clicking it closed, he picked it up and led the way back to the SUV. "So, Ianto, how does a junior researcher find out how to override those security protocols?"

"Just lucky, I guess."

"That's not good enough."

"I'm sorry?" Ianto asked.

"If you're going to lie to me, which I sincerely hope you won't, you have to do it better than that. Now, how did you do it?"

"Um, my girlfriend, Lisa, she's good with computers. She was," Ianto corrected himself awkwardly, hating the lie but knowing the necessity of it. He couldn't exactly tell him that Lisa logged on with her Cyberman technology to change the security settings. "She taught me some things." Beside him, Harkness sighed.

"Ok. That's better. Now come on, we have to meet the team."


	5. Chapter 5: Ianto's Impressions

**Chapter 5: Ianto's Impressions of the Team**

Jack Harkness prided himself on his ability to read people. As a former conman, he'd needed to read people quickly. As leader of Torchwood, it was even more important. And one thing he knew for sure was that his newest employee — youngest employee — was hiding something.

Oh, they all had secrets. Everyone he recruited had secrets, terrible, heartbreaking secrets that would have destroyed most everyone else. Part of why he chose them was because of their secrets. But Ianto Jones was hiding more than a secret. He had an agenda, and as Jack watched Ianto move around the Hub, he knew he needed to find out what Ianto was hiding.

_How long do I wait before I confront him? _Jack wondered one night. The Hub was empty except for him and Ianto, and he followed Ianto's progress through the main floor on the CCTV feed, switching cameras when Ianto moved to the Archivist's office he had appropriated on his second day of work.

On the screen, Ianto pulled a small leather book from the top drawer of his desk and began writing. Jack zoomed in to read over his shoulder.

_Day seven at T3:_

_Staff Impressions:_

_Suzie Costello is a hard, bitter woman. As second-in-command, she has more of the security protocols than anyone else, aside from Captain Harkness. (Though I believe Ms. Sato can hack anything she wants, she is too loyal to Capt. Harkness to do it without provocation.) _

_Ms. Costello does not respond to Capt. Harkness' flirting or innuendo. She ignores me and Ms. Sato most of the time. She responds to Dr. Harper's advances, but I believe that the adversarial nature of their relationship adds to their sexual compatibility. _

_Ms. Costello clearly has a trauma history, and while it doesn't make sense to speculate on its nature, from what little I've been able to pick up, it was potentially at the hands of a male relative, maybe even her father, as her mother died when she was very young and he raised her himself. _

_Gifted academically and socially awkward, she went straight from Uni to MI5. Captain Harkness recruited her a few years later, after an incident with an alien that killed the rest of her squad. I think she has a grudge against aliens because of it. _

_My reaction to having aliens kill almost everyone I know? Get a job at the one place likely to understand. Daleks and Cybermen… they seem more mechanical than anything else. Haven't met too many flesh and blood aliens yet. Just Janet and the other Weevils. Myfanway doesn't count as an alien. She was on the planet long before we were. _

_Toshiko Sato is a computer genius, and I daresay a technological one, as well. She is quiet and reserved, though how much of that is from past experiences and how much is cultural upbringing, I don't know yet. She is fiercely loyal to Capt. Harkness. From what little I've been able to find, he rescued her from a UNIT holding facility. I don't know why she was there, or for how long, but it must have left an impression. All info prior to that was wiped, though I'm sure I can find it if I dig harder. _

_She has family in London and Japan, but limited contact with them. As far as I can tell, she spends so much time here at T3 that her social life is practically non-existent. _

_I like her. From the few conversations we've had, I think I might consider befriending her. _

_Oh, and she's very shy. She likes that Capt. Harkness flirts with her, and seems to use it as practice for something —or someone— else. She knows that he's a flirt and doesn't expect anything from him. He enjoys flirting with her, but also doesn't expect anything to come of it. I think he sees her as a kind of daughter. _

_Dr. Owen Harper hides behind his brittle exterior. He is an excellent physician, though his bedside manner is for shit. He did the routine physical quickly and professionally, but grumbled the entire time and insinuated that I was there as a new "toy" for the captain. I tried to dissuade him from that idea by telling him about Lisa. He didn't believe me. Said that Harkness would eat me alive if I kept "hiding behind a dead girlfriend." I wonder if he's talking from experience? _

_He's cranky, snarky, bitter, and angry most of the time. He didn't used to be, apparently, before his fiance died. _

_According to the public records, his fiance died of a brain tumor. According to what I've been able to ferret out here, she, as well as everyone in the operating room at the time, died because of an alien masquerading as the tumor. Capt. Harkness recruited him shortly thereafter. _

_Dr. Harper has a kind of grudging respect for the captain. He doesn't want to admit that the captain knows as much as he does, nor does he want to give the captain credit for much of anything. He's quick to yell at the captain, or grumble about his flirting, but he doesn't reject him on account of his sexuality, and even occasionally, very occasionally, allows the captain to flirt with him in a backhanded way. _

_He and Ms. Costello have been having an affair for several months. When I saw them going through the wreckage of T1, I learned from what I overheard between them that they were already having a sexual relationship, but I don't know how long it had been going on for at that point. _

_Captain Harkness: What can I say? He's a mystery. He flirts with everyone, especially me, and I find myself flirting back before I can help myself, even if I wanted to keep from doing it, which sometimes I don't. His mood shifts so suddenly I'm surprised we don't all have whiplash. He takes his responsibilities *very* seriously. And yet, there's a sadness about him. The others don't notice, but there's more to him than he lets on with that toothy grin and forced optimism. _

_He has a past. His past is horrible, so he tries to hold on to life with everything he has, to find the smallest bit of happiness he can. No wonder he flirts and sleeps around. _

_According to Dr. Harper, Ja— Captain Harkness instituted mandatory blood screenings for T3 employees on a weekly basis. At T1 it was monthly. They screen for the usual: alien intervention, drugs, illness. But Ja— Captain Harkness wants full STI screens as well. He doesn't care who sleeps with who, as long as all of his team are clean. Dr. Harper is working on a medical scanner from the thirtieth century that will do the screenings without having to draw blood. Ms. Sato has been helping him, and he hopes to have it up and running next month, "Rift willing," as they say here. _

_I don't know enough about Jack yet, and I don't know what happened to him, but he's had a lot more happen to him in his life than his personnel file would have me believe. _

_He's mentioned fighting in wars. As in, multiple wars. He's not old enough to have fought it two wars. At least, not in the UK, or even the UK and the States, if he's been at T3 as their director since 2000, as his file states. He was a full-time Field Agent until then, for over ten years, so the likelihood that he's talking about Iraq is slim. _

_He dresses as if he's still in the '40's. Could he mean WWII? _

_And there've been a lot of off-hand comments: _

"_Fifty-first century pheromones…"_

"_Dinosaurs? Ate them for breakfast. Had to…" _

"_2142, the year dolphins were declared sentient…" _

"_Wait, you can't change your skin color in this century?" _

"_Don't worry about that. In another hundred years it'll be obsolete…" _

"_The 21st century is when everything changes…" _

Without looking up, Jack touched the button on his earpiece. "Ianto? You still here?"

"Yes, sir," Ianto answered immediately, putting down his pen. "Can I help you with something?"

"I'd love a coffee. And then you can go home."

"I'll be up in a moment, sir," Ianto said, turning off his earpiece and closing his book. Jack watched as Ianto put his book in its drawer and turned off the light.

Ten minutes later, Ianto placed a fresh cup of coffee in front of Jack. Smiling his thanks, Jack brushed his fingers over Ianto's hand. Ianto tensed slightly.

"You know, there are other ways of getting me alone than staying late," Jack murmured, watching Ianto's reaction carefully. "All you have to do is ask."

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," Ianto said, pulling his hand back. "For now, however, I think we both need some sleep." With that parting comment, Ianto turned and left the Hub, Jack following his progress to his car on the cameras before losing interest.


	6. Chapter 6: Firearms Instruction

A/N: We all know what Special Firearms Training means...except Ianto. Read with care for that, as the rating veers much more into the 'M' category with this chapter. Thanks to everyone for the follows, favorites and reviews!

**Chapter 6: Firearms Training**

Two weeks after Ianto joined Torchwood Three, Suzie, Owen and Toshiko sat around the conference table eating lunch, their eyes following Ianto as he wandered around the first floor of the Hub gathering coffee cups and other garbage. Jack sat at his desk, a look of concentration on his features as he read over a document from UNIT.

"Regular bloke like him, what do you think Harkness wants of him?" Owen asked, sipping his beer and indicating Ianto.

"He's organized," Toshiko answered, pulling a piece of pizza to her plate. "We all know the archives need someone to go through them. Think how much easier it would be around here if we could actually find the files we needed? And Jack said something about digitizing them. Can you imagine? All that information, right at our fingertips?"

"It's not like he'll tell us why he wants him around, is it?" Suzie demanded, grabbing a slice for herself. "From what he's said, it's because of the coffee."

"You think it's some kind of weird sexual thing?" Owen wondered. "That first day he brought Jack coffee, he looked like a rent-boy, or something."

"Oh, don't get started on that again," Suzie grumbled. "Jack's not gay. And even if he is, Ianto has a girlfriend and isn't gay."

"Ianto, might not be, but Jack, he's got to be gay," Owen said. "I mean, look at him. Always watching the kid with that look? I bet it'll be special weapons training soon, and we all know how _that_ goes."

"You're just upset that he didn't grab your bum, too, like he did ours," Toshiko said. "I don't think he's gay, either. He'll go for anyone gorgeous enough."

"Oi, he grabbed a hell of a lot more than my bum!"

Suzie and Toshiko glanced at each other and started laughing.

"I told you so," Toshiko said.

"Fine, fine, you were right," Suzie muttered, fishing a ten-pound note from her pocketbook and handing it to Toshiko. "Want to bet where he grabs Ianto?"

"Well, he's cute, but much more quiet than Owen. I think he'll stick to his bum. Ten quid."

"I don't know, girls, I think he'll shag him in the shooting range first time they go in there," Owen offered.

"Shower," Suzie said enthusiastically. "Definitely a shag in the shower. Ianto's too nit-picky about cleanliness to do it in the shooting range."

"Naw, that's why it would be perfect in the range," Owen countered. "Get all messy, let loose, be a big change from the norm, and that's what he'd want, don't you think, doing it with a bloke?"

"I don't think so," Toshiko interrupted. "At least, I don't think they'd do it the first time. Jack might grope him, but they wouldn't have sex the first time."

"So we're all in, then? Suzie for the shower, me for the shooting range, and Tosh for not at all. Ten quid?" Owen asked.

"Ten quid," the women agreed.

Leaving the conference room, they returned to their stations. Fifteen minutes later, Jack left his office, looked around at them all, and spotted Ianto cleaning the conference room.

"Ianto!" Jack shouted. Ianto jumped, but the other three didn't pay attention, used to Jack's loudness.

"Sir?"

"Be in the shooting range in twenty. It's time to test your aim."

"Yes, sir," Ianto replied, purposely ignoring the snickers and glances his new colleagues were giving him.

***TW TW TW***

"There are a few things you need to know about me, Ianto Jones," Jack said quietly as he wrapped an arm around Ianto's waist and pulled him tight against his body. Again. Ianto, holding an empty gun still pointed at the targets, closed his eyes and attempted to calm himself with a deep breath. He carefully placed the gun on the table before him and leaned his back against Jack's chest. His breathing hitched in his throat as he felt Jack's erection pressing against his ass as the captain held them close.

"Sir?" Ianto managed, pulling the ear protectors off from his head and tossing them to the table. He waited as Jack removed his own and dropped them on top of his on the table.

"I flirt," Jack continued, quieter than before, his voice suddenly serious, his breath warm on Ianto's ear. He stroked up Ianto's side, stopping his hand on Ianto's chest. "I flirt a lot, with a lot of people. That never changes, no matter who I'm with. I don't sleep around nearly as often as you might think, or as often as rumors might say, or even as often as I imply, not anymore, but I can't promise monogamy. It's not in my nature."

Jack paused. "If anything's going to happen between us, anything that's more than flirting, you need to give me the ok. I can read body language, and other signs of desire, all to tell me if someone is interested in pursuing something, but there's more to sex in the 21st century than that. I grew up a long way from here, where societal customs were very different than they are now."

"So you're saying you won't make a move unless I say it's ok?"

"I'm your boss," Jack said simply. "I flirt, but you have to tell me what the boundaries are."

Ianto turned his head slightly, pressing his nose against Jack's neck so he could inhale his scent. "You smell good."

Jack's hips twitched forward, pressing himself harder against Ianto. "Sorry," he apologized.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready, sir," Ianto murmured, clasping the hand that rested on his chest. "For now, stick to flirting, please."

"When? Not 'if'?"

"Give me some time to get used to the idea."

"Take all the time you need," Jack said, stroking his hands down Ianto's side again before releasing him. "Go shower. I'll clean up here."

"No, you go first. I should be the one to clean this."

"You're sure?" Jack asked.

"Yes. Go." Ianto shooed Jack away, motioning towards the door to the locker rooms. Jack turned away and took a few steps before Ianto could make his voice work again. "Sir?" Jack turned back, his eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Thank you." Jack laughed, winked, and walked away with a vague wave at Ianto.

With a deep sigh, Ianto leaned against the table, looking over the dozen guns he'd just been using. _Jack's a good teacher, _he thought, rubbing absently at his erection. _I don't think I've ever had such a thorough lesson in firearms before. And being able to hit the target with his cock pressed against me was really difficult. I bet he knows that. I'm sure it's hard for everyone, even if they're not attracted to him. Did I really just think that? Of course he's hard for everyone. He's Jack Harkness. _

_Though he made a point to tell me he doesn't sleep around as much as I think he does. It must be hard for him, being the leader of this place. Living here. And he's on call all night, every night, pretty much. When would he even have time for sex? Unless it's with one of us? I wonder how long it's been for him. _

_He hasn't slept with Owen. Owen's too guarded. No, Owen's as guarded as the rest of us, he's just more unpleasant about it. He's got that homophobic edge that indicates interest but intense fear as well. Jack wouldn't go for that. And that thing with his fiance dying…no wonder he's such a misogynist. He's hurting so much, but needs to hide it. _

_Jack hasn't slept with Tosh, either. She's too enamored of Owen, and I doubt she'd be the type to agree to whatever kind of relationship Jack could offer. _

_Has he slept with Suzie? No, I don't think so. She and Owen are shagging, and I don't think he'd want to get in the middle of that. Office triangles don't seem like his thing. I hope. _

_That leaves one night stands. I'm sure he does that. But how often? With men? Women? Does it matter who else it is as long as he wants me? _

With shaky movements, he gathered the guns, cleaned them, reloaded them, checked the safeties, and put them back on the table. _I'll take them to the armory later. Now, sweep up the spent bullets and shower. _Finding a broom, Ianto swept the floor.

_Maybe I can spend more time in the archives tomorrow. There has to be a more complete set of blueprints than the one that Jack gave me. It's been two weeks, and I still have to find a way to get Lisa in here. She's getting impatient, and that strange voice of hers has been happening more often. If I can find someone to help get her to breathe on her own, without the machine, that should help. I'm sure that not being able to breathe on her own must be making her voice strange. I hope that's all it is. _

_She keeps asking about Jack. I just don't know so much about him yet. Other than that he likes flirting, which I knew before. And that he smells divine, which I haven't had the heart to tell her yet. _

_When did I start calling him 'Jack' in my head? _

Jack was finished and nowhere near the locker room or shower by the time Ianto got there. Smiling in relief, he stripped and went to the showers. He turned on the water.

_Lisa's been wanting me to shag Jack. She's been encouraging it more and more, with both voices. And when he's pressed up behind me like that, it's all I want to do. But even with Lisa wanting me to do it, it still doesn't feel right to cheat on her. It's like she wants me to move on while she's still alive. And if the whole point is to get her into the Hub so I can heal her and make her herself again, what's the point of me shagging someone else? _

_I haven't even kissed him yet. _

_God, but it's so much fun to flirt with him! At least he flirts with everyone. That way I don't stand out too much. _

_But what to do about Jack? He basically told me that he's interested, though anyone with eyes could've figured it out. Does he have any awareness of how much he stares at me when he thinks I'm not looking? _

_He mentioned that he's my boss. As if I could forget that. Should I start accusing him of harassing me? I bet that would excite him. He seems like the kind of man to have an active imagination in the bedroom. Probably does role-play. I wonder where the personnel handbooks are. Haven't seem hide nor hair of any of them. _

_Keep it to flirting, but add to the excitement level. I'll have him eating out of my hand. _

_Eating me – _

_Fuck —_

***TW TW TW***

Jack took a long route back to his office so he could check on what the others were staring at so intently on Tosh's computer screens. He had a suspicion he knew. Clicking a few buttons on a computer terminal and entering his passwords, he pulled up the CCTV footage of the camera behind them.

Snorting in amusement, he realized that all three of them were watching Ianto in the shower. Rewinding the footage, he saw them watch the firearms lesson as well. Ianto's face as they talked at the end glowed with desire. As Jack turned back to the present feed, Suzie's hand reached over and brushed against Owen's crotch, drawing a sharp look. Owen nodded in the direction of the cog door. Suzie smiled slightly. Their little affair was starting to bleed into the workday, and Jack wondered if he'd have to do something about it soon.

On the screen, Ianto gathered his manhood and began stroking himself, leaning against the wall. His expression was so wanton, it made Jack desire him even more than he had downstairs.

"Jack…" Ianto breathed, his word clear despite the lack of sound.

Making a quick decision, Jack went to his office and collected a bottle of retcon.

Ianto returned to the central Hub to find Jack trying to make coffee and the other three busy at their workstations.

"Sir, let me do that," he said, taking the mug from Jack's hand.

"No, you go upstairs. I can make coffee for a change," Jack protested.

"Sir, your coffee can't really be called coffee." Ianto deftly worked the machine, Jack watching in fascination as Ianto mixed three mugs. He picked up a tray and placed the mugs on it.

"Where's mine?" Jack wondered. "And where's yours?"

Ianto glanced over at Jack. "I thought, sir, that you might enjoy my special blend tonight." Jack leaned back against the counter, putting his hands in his pockets in one of his trademark gestures, a sudden smile on his lips.

"Besides," Ianto continued, "I have no intention of retconning either of us after such an informative lesson in firearms."

"Ianto—"

"I'll bring your coffee to you in your office before I leave, if you'd like." Ianto extended the tray so Jack could drop the tiny pills into the steaming liquid.

"Thank you."

Ianto smiled. "Thank you for looking after my pride, sir. I'm glad none of them will remember." Ianto left Jack at the counter, moving silently to distribute the drugged coffee. "And, sir? Enjoy the video." Ianto winked.

Jack laughed heartily, startling the pterodactyl into flight with a squawk.


	7. Chapter 7: First Kiss

**Chapter 7: First Kiss**

Ianto was in the kitchen making the first round of coffee for himself and Jack when Jack showed up next to him. It was still early, and Jack and Ianto were alone in the Hub.

"Have I mentioned that you look really good in those suits?" Jack asked, leaning against the counter.

"Not since yesterday, sir," Ianto answered, pouring Jack's coffee.

"Well, you do. You look delicious."

"Careful, that could be considered harassment," Ianto murmured softly as he handed Jack his mug.

"Really?" Jack sounded intrigued.

"Oh, yes," Ianto continued, making his own cup. "It's in the personnel handbooks you've so conveniently misplaced. No flirting with the staff." He turned expectantly to Jack.

"What else is in the handbook, Ianto?"

"No kissing the staff."

"No kissing?" Jack wondered, putting his coffee down and stepping closer to Ianto, invading his personal space. "Not even if the employee in question were to put down his coffee and close his eyes?"

"Especially not then, sir," Ianto replied, carefully placing his coffee on the counter. "Even if the employee were to pull you closer."

Ianto gripped Jack's waist and closed his eyes as he pulled Jack roughly against him. He could feel Jack's breath on his cheek, on his lips, as Jack bent slightly to press their lips together. Ianto responded eagerly. Jack leaned in, placing his hands on the counter on either side of Ianto, effectively capturing him. Jack's tongue slid along Ianto's lips until Ianto opened his mouth so he could taste Jack as Jack was tasting him. Jack pulled Ianto's tongue into his mouth and sucked gently.

Ianto moaned. Heat filled his body, radiating out from his chest. When he felt his cock beginning to respond, he pressed his palms flat against Jack's chest and gently pushed him away.

"Definitely harassment," Ianto whispered, a smile on his slightly swollen lips.

"So I shouldn't do it again?" Jack asked, flirtation warring with disappointment in his voice.

"I never said that, sir."

"No, you didn't," Jack said, darting forward to peck Ianto's lips quickly before grabbing his coffee mug and climbing down the stairs to the main floor of the Hub. "I'll hold you to that, Mr. Jones," he called behind him as he entered his office, whistling off-key, clearly happy.

Ianto sighed. _I'll have him in my bed as quickly as I want him, _he thought, touching his lips briefly. _Distract him enough, and Lisa will be safe. Keep that in mind, Jones. Don't let him distract you in return. _

***TW TW TW***

"_We haven't had time to talk lately," Ianto said to Lisa as he sat on a stool next to her life support unit. He took her hand, noting that it was cold again. "It's been so busy that I haven't been able to do more than check in the last few days. I'm sorry." _

He waited for a reply, but she remained silent. He sighed. Water dripped from a hole in the warehouse roof, making a splashing sound that distracted him briefly.

"I kissed Jack." He let go of her hand to run his fingers through his hair. "Well, he kissed me. I just kissed him back. It was nothing like I expected." _Better, _he thought. _Much better than I expected. _

Lisa's eyes opened and Ianto waited to see which voice she'd use. "The plan is working, then?" she asked in the robotic way that had become more and more common as the days passed.

"Yes," he answered. "He gave me another level of security passwords later in the day. I can access the secret garage and docking bay now. I can get you in when the time's right."

"It must be soon."

"I know, darling. I'm working on it. We just have to wait until they're all gone over night. I can't risk it, otherwise."

"Why not?"

"Jack lives at the Hub. He's always there. I have to make sure there's no chance he'd come back and find us in the middle of the transfer."

"Seduce him. We can transfer while he is sleeping after intercourse," Lisa said pragmatically.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Ianto protested. "For all we know, he's the type to be energized by sex. It might make him more on his guard."

"Drug him."

"I'm not drugging my boss!"

"You need to hurry. This unit will not function much longer without a more controlled environment."

"You mean the conversion unit? I can get more supplies. Just tell me what you need."

Lisa named a dozen parts, most of which he had in storage from ransacking the debris of Torchwood London, only a few he needed to steal from the Hub.

"I better go," Ianto whispered, leaning to kiss her lips, which were colder than her hands, if at all possible. What was going on with her? He squeezed her hand and stood.

"Ianto?" Lisa asked in her normal voice.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"You're still my boyfriend even if you sleep with him. I know you love me and are doing it for us."

"Yup." Ianto smiled at her, kissed her again. _Even if it's really my fantasy, too, _he thought. _It's hard not to think of him, most of the time. _

As if hearing his thought, Lisa continued. "You liked kissing him, didn't you?"

"I —"

"I told you you would," she interrupted. "Remember? I told you you'd like it with him."

"Lisa, I don't know if I can do it."

"Ianto, you know full well that I can't be with you like that. Not yet anyway."

"It doesn't feel right, doing it with him when you're here, like this."

"It will," she reassured him. "Take it a day at a time. Do some research. I know how you like research. Kiss him again and see what it's like. If you like it, do it. When I'm better, we can all three be together, right? That'll be nice, right? Think of it as practice for that."

"Practice?" Ianto yelped.

"Practice," she repeated.


	8. Chapter 8: Ianto Learns About Aliens

A/N: Thanks to everyone who's reading! In this chapter, Ianto learns about aliens, clothes-eating alien goo, and just how good Jack is at cleaning off said goo. Be prepared for some smut and an M rating. :-)

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 8: Ianto Learns About Aliens **

During his third week at Torchwood Cardiff, seven and a half weeks after the Battle that changed his life forever, Ianto managed to smuggle Lisa into the base while the rest of the team was out overnight on an alien hunt. Exhausted after the long night and stress of the transfer, he fell asleep on the couch at the front of the Hub.

Jack woke him at ten minutes past seven, calling to tell Ianto they were on their way back. Ianto barely had time to straighten his suit and put on a pot of coffee before the rest of the team sauntered in.

"Ok, kids, everyone go home," Jack announced. "We've all been on for 36 hours, and we need the sleep!"

Owen told Ianto to take the alien corpses to the autopsy bay and disappeared in the direction of his car, after chugging a mug of coffee without thanking Ianto for either the coffee or the help moving the dead bodies. Suzie and Tosh went home, too tired to protest Jack's orders or write even preliminary reports. Jack, for a change, started his report, writing longhand with his favorite fountain pen rather than typing on the computer behind him. Ianto grunted, knowing he'd have to transcribe it into the computer later.

At the SUV, Ianto found a pair of aliens that looked like those blue people from the movie _Avatar_, except normal human size. After getting them into the freezer units in the autopsy bay, he remembered that Owen wanted one "at room temperature," so he shrugged tiredly and put it on the table.

He shuffled up to Jack's office. "Sir, I'm going home, if that's ok. The bodies are —" He broke off as Jack looked up and frowned at him. "Sir?"

"Look at yourself, Ianto."

Puzzled, Ianto looked down to see that his suit was covered in blue mucus, which was eating away at his clothes. "What?"

"They look good on the outside," Jack continued. "But once they start decomposing, it's pretty quick. And they'll eat through your clothes. No danger to the skin, though. Take a shower before you go, and remember to requisition the money for a new suit. I won't expect you until tomorrow morning. I assume you have extra clothes here?"

"Of course, sir." Ianto shifted on his feet. "Um, they look like…"

"Where do you think Cameron got the idea? Our counterpart organization in the States doesn't have retcon, so they did a post-hypnotic suggestion and turned the encounter into a dream, which he turned into a movie."

"A rather good movie," Ianto commented.

"By your standards, maybe. That's not what their planet looks like, though. And they're actually technologically advanced, but Cameron wouldn't have known that."

"You saw the movie, sir?"

"Does that surprise you?"

"I just don't picture you as the movie type."

Jack grinned and leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head. "I happen to like movies. How about you? Favorite genre?"

"James Bond," Ianto replied without thinking.

"Bond, James Bond," Jack murmured, trying to sound like Sean Connery and failing. His grin turned into a leer as he looked over Ianto. "Unless you _want_ to give me a show, Jones, Ianto Jones, I suggest that shower now," he said.

Ianto looked down to see that the goo had eaten away at his clothes, revealing the blue-streaked skin of his chest. Flushing, he turned without a word and fled to the locker room and showers.

***TW TW TW***

Jack's voice startled Ianto out of a sleepy daze as he methodically washed himself in the shower. Two hours of sleep was not enough, he noted tiredly. His shoulders were stained blue, and the color bled down his back and legs. He turned to Jack, revealing that his entire chest and stomach were also blue, with more streaks down his legs.

"Forgot to tell you: Regular soap doesn't work on that slime," Jack said. "Here, thirty-sixth century cleaning agent that's safe for our skin." Jack tossed Ianto a plastic jar of soap. "Even better, it smells like the Venuvian sea, crisp and tart. It'll keep you awake long enough to finish."

"Thank you, sir," Ianto said, opening the jar and taking a tentative sniff.

"You get started on the front. I'll be back in a minute to help you with your back. Don't want you blue forever, do we?" Jack winked and turned back to the locker rooms.

_Jack, naked? _Ianto thought before he could help himself. _God, I'm already naked. It's like— No. Wait. Calm down. He's just going to help get alien goo off my back. That's it. Nothing sexual about it. He'll just rub his hands all over my back. Maybe down my legs. If he does that, he'll have to be on his knees, won't he? Jack Harkness, naked, on his knees, in front of me? _

_What if I just— turned around? He'd be staring at my cock. And if he's staring at my cock, maybe he'd want to do more than that. What would if feel like to have his mouth on me like that? _

_God, it's been months since Lisa was able to touch me, and she never liked giving head… _

Jack's off-key whistle proceeded him from the locker room and Ianto had time to turn his back to Jack. _Shit, I hope he doesn't notice my erection, _Ianto thought as Jack approached. Ianto scooped some of the soap from the jar and set it away from the water as he started rubbing the lather over his chest.

"Nice ass, Mr. Jones," Jack said, walking up to him and giving Ianto's ass a friendly grope. "Too bad it's not blue."

"Too bad for you, sir," Ianto replied, hiding behind his dry sense of humor. "It's rather a lucky thing for me."

"Oh, really?" Jack smiled crookedly and leered at Ianto's erection. When he looked up, Ianto met his eyes frankly.

"Is there a problem, sir?" Ianto asked softly, standing taller, daring him to comment.

"No, no problem. Carry on." Jack turned on the water at the neighboring shower head to wet himself, then turned it off and padded back to Ianto. With another toothy grin, he bent to pick up the soap, giving Ianto an unobstructed view of his own ass.

_How can a man be so beautiful? _Ianto wondered, staring. _How can he be so tan, living in Cardiff in a secret underground base? _

Ianto shivered and almost drew away when Jack began rubbing the soap into his back. "Easy, Ianto," Jack murmured, gripping his shoulder briefly before continuing his cleaning efforts. "I like pushing boundaries, but nothing's going to happen you don't want. Just say no when you need to." Ianto nodded in acknowledgment.

As Jack began massaging Ianto's neck and shoulders, Ianto sighed, relaxing. Jack smiled to himself, a much smaller smile than before, but more genuine. They stood like that for what seemed like a long time, Ianto's hands frozen on his chest as Jack massaged the kinks out of his back. Ianto didn't protest when Jack's hands moved lower, caressing his ass briefly before kneading the muscles of his legs.

Jack stood, placing the soap jar in Ianto's hands and putting his hands on Ianto's hips. "Lean back against me," he whispered, kissing the back of Ianto's neck. Ianto did, letting Jack support some of his weight as Jack reached around him to begin working on Ianto's front, rubbing soap over his pectorals.

A small moan escaped Ianto's lips as Jack's fingers brushed over his nipples. He pushed back, rubbing his ass against Jack's erection.

"Ianto?"

"Please, sir, keep doing what you're doing. I'll tell you when to stop." He gasped as Jack pinched his nipples hard, simultaneously sucking on his neck. "Sometimes boundaries need to be pushed, I always say."

Jack smiled again, taking some more soap so he could wash Ianto's stomach. He nipped Ianto's shoulder as he slipped his hands lower, brushing gently against Ianto's cock. Ianto moaned louder, thrusting his cock forward against Jack's hands. Chuckling, Jack took hold of Ianto's cock, stroking back and forth as Ianto quivered.

Ianto reached back for Jack's head, pulling him forward and twisting himself back to kiss him. Jack responded instantly, opening his mouth to allow Ianto's tongue access. The kisses deepened. Jack pulled back slightly to meet Ianto's eyes.

"God, Ianto, you're wonderful," Jack whispered, shifting so they faced each other. Jack took Ianto's head in both his hands as he kissed him again.

Ianto slipped his arms around Jack, running his hands up and down Jack's back. Jack groaned when Ianto's hands found his ass, squeezing and pulling Jack closer. Ianto kissed Jack's neck, sucking and biting and licking his way down to Jack's shoulder. Ghosting over his collarbone.

Jack found Ianto's cock again and stroked it against his own. He grabbed Ianto's ass with his other hand. Jack slipped his fingers into Ianto's crack as he bit Ianto's ear gently.

"'M close," Ianto gasped when Jack's finger brushed against his hole. Jack kissed him again, softer. Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack, pulling him even closer against his body.

"What do you want?" Jack whispered, twisting his wrist.

Ianto sucked in a breath quickly at the sensation. "You. Now."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah."

"Ianto, have you been with a man before?" Jack asked. Ianto tensed, but Jack's hands on his skin quickly relaxed him again.

"No, sir, but I've done research. I know the theory of the mechanics. Bit nervous, though, honestly."

"Not a problem. Don't worry about it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'll take good care of you. Now tell me: Where do you want it?"

Ianto paused before answering, relishing in the feeling of Jack's hand on his cock, of Jack's cock against his own. "Don't care," he finally answered.

Jack chuckled. "Well, I'm not usually one to say no to a shag in the shower, but for your first time, it might be a bit awkward. Somehow I doubt it's the top thing on your list."

"Maybe fourth or fifth," Ianto agreed.

"What's first?"

"Over your desk."

Jack gasped, his hand clenching around their cocks.

"Fuck," Ianto exclaimed, shuddering as warm cum washed over Jack's hand. He reached for Jack. "Let me —"

Jack captured his hand. "Too late," Jack managed, trying to get his breathing under control. "You set me off."

"Mmm. Felt good." Ianto opened his eyes slowly, a dazed smile on his lips.

"Good," Jack murmured against Ianto's lips. "Over my desk, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. You'd take me hard."

"Always the quiet ones," Jack said with a laugh. He kissed Ianto's neck and nibbled on his ear.

Ianto blinked, his eyes clearing as he came back to himself. "Sir?"

"Ianto."

"I —" He broke off, looking around. "I should go." Pulling away from Jack, Ianto grabbed his towel from the bench where he'd left it and dashed from the showers.

"Ianto?" Jack called. "Ianto?" When it was clear that no response was coming, he quickly washed his hands and shut off the water. In the locker room, Ianto was gone.

***TW TW TW***

When Ianto arrived in the morning, Jack was in the shooting range emptying clip after clip of ammunition into the Weevil shaped targets. Ianto watched him on the CCTV for ten minutes before making coffee to bring down to him. He waited for Jack to finish his current clip before giving a cheery greeting and walking forward with the coffee. Jack pulled off his headphones and eye protectors as Ianto approached.

"I brought coffee, sir," Ianto said, extending the tray with Jack's mug.

"You're not joining me?" Jack wondered.

"I have reports to type up. And the others will be in soon, so I'll need to make them coffee, as well."

Jack nodded. "Do you mind straightening up in here? I'll go get cleaned up, then I have a list of files I need you to find for me."

"Leave it to me, sir," Ianto answered with a small smile, remembering the last time they were in the shooting range together. Jack nodded again and walked away. At the far door, he turned back.

"Ianto, that species we brought in last night is called the Navaree. Please find what you can on them. I have a suspicion that there'll be more of them. Check the '80's."

"1980's, I assume?"

"Yeah, though I know they were here before then. You might be able to cross-reference with the older records, if you can find them."

Ianto nodded. "I'll bring you what I can find, sir," he said. Jack grinned, thanked him for the coffee, and disappeared upstairs.

An hour later, Ianto carried a stack of files onto the main floor of the Hub. He'd been able to find all but two of the files Jack requested, and was going over the layout of the archives in his mind to try and figure out where the last two might be. He paused behind Jack, Tosh and Suzie, who were staring intently at a schematic of a spaceship of some kind on Tosh's monitor.

"Looks like one of the short-range travel pods," Ianto commented as he continued to Jack's desk to deposit the folders. He pulled one out and returned with it to Jack, exchanging the file for Jack's empty coffee mug. "Here's the file on the Navaree, sir. You'll find the same schematics in the addendum section."

"Thanks," Jack replied, flipping to the pertinent section. "Looks like we'll have more of them, after all," he commented, indicating another monitor where a larger craft was orbiting the planet. "I think these two were advance scouts."

"Looks like some pretty high tech stuff," Suzie said, pointing at a weapons array, her eyes bright. She grunted in acknowledgment of the coffee Ianto handed her.

"Their language seems simple enough," Tosh said, typing away and watching her translation program on a third screen. She ignored the coffee Ianto placed at her elbow, her focus on the program. "I should have something within the hour, Jack."

Just then, the cog door whirred open with the usual lights and sirens as Owen walked in. He looked hung over. Ianto, anticipating his need, handed him a cup of coffee. Owen grumbled something unintelligible as he wandered to his desk and threw his coat on his chair before pulling on his lab coat and moving to the autopsy bay.

"Oi, Teaboy!" Owen shouted, startling them. "What the fuck did you do with my corpse?" he demanded.

"As you're not dead yet, I can't say that I've done anything," Ianto quipped.

"That's not what I mean, and you know it! Now get over here and tell me what's going on."

"Owen, only I get to order around my staff," Jack said without looking up from the folder in his hand.

"Harkness —"

"Ianto," Jack interrupted, continuing to ignore Owen. "You've read this file, I assume. Please tell the others about the Navaree."

Four pairs of eyes turned to focus on Ianto. He cleared his throat. Jack smiled encouragingly. "The Navaree," Ianto began, "are one of thirteen blue-skinned races in the Torchwood databases. They were first discovered in 1899 by operatives at Torchwood House, though diplomatic relations were not established at that time. The Navaree left the planet after twelve hours. They returned in 1940, when they assisted England in the war in return for fuel. Bananas, if I'm not mistaken. Their contributions at that time was mainly intelligence about troop movements.

"In 1983, the Navaree returned to British soil, this time to Cardiff, where they spent three months learning about the cultures of Earth in exchange for knowledge of their own planet.

"From information gathered at that time, it's been written that they travel as clans of intermarried families with common ancestors. Every five generations, the clans split in half to promote interbreeding with other genomes within the species. During the next ten years or so, families can travel separately from the clans, if the head male wishes to create his own clan.

"According to the anthropological and medical records, families consist of three adults, either two male and a female, or visa versa, depending on the intent of the head of the family for future generations."

"What does that mean?" Suzie asked.

"If the head of the family is interested in breeding, he acquires two females. If he wants to explore or trade, he finds a second male after he mates with a female. It's unknown at this time if the secondary male is also a sexual partner or if he remains in a supportive role, though it's likely that he breeds with the female."

"Thanks, Ianto," Jack said, patting him on the back. "Now, let's divide and conquer. Tosh, get that translation program going. I want to be able to talk to them in thirty. Suzie, I want an analysis of their pod and the ship in orbit. Life support, weapons, communication, whatever you can get. See how many of them we're dealing with. Is it a clan? A family? Owen, get to work on those autopsies. I want to know what killed them and what we can expect if others make planetfall. Ianto, fresh coffee, then kit out the SUV for diplomacy and hostility. We don't know why they're back, and since they didn't stop to say hello, we need to be ready for anything."

"What am I supposed to do with this mess?" Owen demanded angrily, waving at the large blue puddle still dripping from the autopsy table to the floor.

"Clean it up," Jack responded. "And no asking Ianto to do it. As medical officer, you should've known this would happen and had him put the body in the freezer."

"How was I supposed to know that?"

"The info's in the files," Jack said.

"Fuck you, Harkness. You know only Teaboy can find anything down there!"

"Sorry, not interested," Jack said with a laugh. "I have much better people to do with my time." His eyes found Ianto across the Hub.

"I'll get the coffee," Ianto muttered, walking away to avoid the heat in Jack's eyes.


	9. Chapter 9: Watching and Waiting

A/N: Ianto is learning more and more about Jack, and is liking what he sees.

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter Nine: Watching and Waiting**

Ianto watched Jack over the next three days as Jack negotiated with the Navaree. As both males of the family had been murdered by their prospective trade contact within hours of landing on the planet, Jack offered asylum to the remaining female and her five children. Unfortunately, before they could land, UNIT discovered their presence and demanded Jack hand them over.

Ianto, his butler persona firmly in place, escorted Jack to the local UNIT base to provide silent back up as Jack argued with the general about the rights of peaceful, sentient aliens on Earth and within Earth's orbit. Before a conclusion could be reached, Harold Saxon, the Minister of Defense, ordered the extermination of the "extra-terrestrial threat" as he called it in his briefing. The Navaree were shot out of the sky.

Jack drove himself and Ianto back to the Hub, his knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel too tightly. Ordering everyone home, he retreated to his office, slamming the door shut. Owen and Suzie wasted no time leaving. Tosh tried to talk to Jack, but he refused to speak to her, sending her away with a wave of his hand.

Ianto waited for twenty minutes before approaching Jack with a final mug of coffee for the day. He slipped into the office silently, without knocking, and put the mug of coffee in front of Jack.

"You shouldn't be here," Jack said without looking up from his desk. In one hand he held a picture of a Navaree family, one blue male, two yellow females, one obviously pregnant, and a single green child. A full glass of whiskey was in his other hand. "This is the family from 1983. I spent a month with Hintaka and his mates before they were sent to Glasgow. The twins were born while they were still there, though I didn't get to meet them before they left for their home planet."

"They're a lovely people," Ianto said in response, leaning against Jack's desk. "They didn't deserve to die."

"No," Jack agreed. "No, they didn't."

"Is there anything I can do before I go, sir?"

Jack looked up and met Ianto's eyes. They stared at each other for a long time before Ianto covered Jack's hand with his own. Jack turned his hand over, twining his fingers with Ianto's. He began stroking the top of Ianto's hand with his thumb.

"You need it, don't you? Some comfort?"

"I don't think you're ready for what I want," Jack said softly. With his free hand he moved the coffee off the desk. "I want everything tonight."

"I'm not ready for that," Ianto said, blushing and looking away. "What about a kiss? Start there?"

"We have to start somewhere, I suppose." Jack stood, bringing Ianto to his feet as well. He leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to Ianto's lips. When Ianto responded, Jack deepened the kiss.

The kiss went on and on until Ianto felt lightheaded, whether from Jack's intoxicating scent or Jack's hands on his hips, he'd never know. Jack pulled him closer, kissing him behind his ear. Ianto shivered.

_I want to tell him about Lisa, _Ianto thought, baring his neck so Jack could kiss it. _Of all the people here, he would understand. He's so different from Yvonne. He actually *cares* about the aliens. He treats them as people. _

Jack pulled Ianto's tie off and began unbuttoning his shirt, kissing every inch of skin as it was revealed. Ianto stood still and let Jack do it, his mind working even as his body responded to Jack's touch.

_He took in Myfanwy,_ Ianto thought. _He doesn't kill the Weevils. He tried diplomacy, he tried to get the Navaree asylum. He has compassion. Maybe he'll understand about Lisa. Maybe he'll listen to me explain before he reacts. Maybe —_

Ianto's thoughts descended into incoherence when Jack cupped his groin. Before he knew what was happening, Jack had Ianto's belt and zipper undone. He let the pants drop to the ground with a small thud of keys and cell phone.

Ianto needed. He needed Jack's hands on him, and all of a sudden, he needed to feel Jack. He undid Jack's zipper and thrust a hand inside.

Jack gasped at the contact.

"Is that ok?" Ianto asked, concerned.

"Yeah," Jack whispered. "Yeah, that's good. Do what you know you like. I'll probably like it, too," he continued, wrapping his left arm around Ianto as his right hand worked its magic.

Ianto grunted, grabbing Jack's shoulder with his free hand to keep himself steady. "It's so different. Different, and yet the same."

"One of the advantages of being with another man," Jack mumbled.

"Like this?" Ianto asked, twisting his wrist the way Jack had done the night before.

"Oh yeah," Jack breathed. "You're a quick study, Ianto Jones."

"I purposely did poorly in school. Where I came from, an eidetic memory's a bad thing. Now, I'm finding it rather useful."

"A photographic memory! I knew it. I knew there was more to you than that file said. You must've kept it from Torchwood, too, didn't you?"

"I was going to pull out all the stops when it came time for a promotion. See if I could jump two levels instead of one. The payscale wasn't so good as a junior researcher, but I had to stay there long enough to read enough of the files I'd need to make the jump."

"You're doing real good here, Ianto." Jack changed his grip, making Ianto moan. "You like that, huh? Try to do it to me." Jack hissed as Ianto copied the motion.

"Together?" Ianto asked.

"Tell me when."

"Do that wrist thing again?"

"This one?"

"Yeah. Oh, yeah."

"God, Ianto!"

"Now?"

"Now!"

Ianto's knees buckled as he came, but Jack held him up. Ianto shoved his tongue as far into Jack's mouth as he could, gripping the back of Jack's head, ignoring the wetness on his palm. Jack groaned, clutching at the back of Ianto's suit jacket.

"Turn around," Jack growled, pushing Ianto into the position he wanted him. Jack stroked Ianto's ass gently, then slapped it. Not hard, but enough to wake Ianto to the reality of where he was, bent over Jack's desk. Jack pulled open a drawer and grabbed a bottle of lube.

"This'll make things easier," Jack explained, pouring lube into his hand.

"No," Ianto heard himself say. "Stop. I can't —"

Before Ianto could finish his sentence, Jack was backing away. Ianto looked over his shoulder to see Jack at the far wall of the office, wiping his hands on his pant leg and zipping up his fly, looking contrite.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I got carried away," Jack managed, clearly upset. "I —"

"No, it's ok," Ianto protested, pulling up his pants and turning towards Jack.

"No, I shouldn't have —"

"It's ok!" Ianto exclaimed. "I want it, just not tonight. It's ok."

"If you're sure…"

"I am."

"Ok."

Ianto crossed the distance to Jack and kissed him fiercely. He found Jack's erection. "I'm not leaving 'til you get off, too, though."

Jack laughed, pulling his head away. "Already came once. That would've been desert," he explained, a huge grin on his face. Ianto blinked in confusion.

"What?"

"Remember what they say about me," Jack said, leaning forward. "Legendary stamina," he whispered in Ianto's ear. "It's all true."

"Five minute refractory period? Hard to believe, sir, even for you."

"With the right partner, I can go all night."

"I'll believe it when I see it."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Oh, yeah," Ianto breathed. He undid Jack's zipper for the second time and used both hands, bringing Jack over the edge again. "Good night, Jack," Ianto murmured, running his fingers through Jack's hair as he kissed him a final time.

"You called me Jack," Jack said to Ianto's retreating back, but Ianto didn't hear him.

Jack sat back in his chair and turned on the CCTV feed in the locker room. He fingered the dark blue tie he'd taken off Ianto earlier. With a sigh, he folded it and put it in a drawer in his desk. On the screen, on one of the benches in the men's side of the locker room, Ianto sat stroking a white stain on the back of his suit jacket. As Jack watched, he sniffed the stain.

"_The dry cleaners are going to have a field day speculating about this," Ianto said softly. "They already have to deal with Jack's blood all the time. I've just managed to convince them it's part of a new tourist attraction with a very realistic bloodied soldier exhibit. And now this. How will I ever live it down? They'll know it's my jacket. They do my cleaning, too. Maybe I should find a new place? Would Jack mind if I retconned them all?" _

_Ianto paused and sniffed his hand. "Shit! I put my hand in his hair! Great work, Jones. Now your boss is going to know just how new to this you are._ _What did that website say? Lick it off or wipe it off immediately. Never touch him with it. Shit. It's in his hair. How embarrassing!" _

_Ianto tentatively licked his hand. "Can't taste anything. Does that mean it's *all* in his hair? God, can this day get any worse?" _

_Ianto stood and began undressing. "What's going to happen when I have to blow him?_ _Swallow. Always swallow. That's what they say, anyway. But what if I don't like the taste? Swallow anyway, I guess. Can't be worse than Owen's attempt at coffee. And I thought Jack's was bad!" _

_Naked, Ianto made his way to the shower. _

"_What if I *like* the taste?" _

Jack laughed aloud and turned off the CCTV feed. "Ianto Jones, be prepared for a wild ride," he murmured. Jack got up and descended into his bunker for a shower.


	10. Chapter 10: Conversations

_A/N: For those following the story, I'm planning on covering the first two seasons, then seeing where CoE takes me. The Jantoist in me wants to do a fix-it, but the purist wants to see what happens to Jack when Ianto dies... But as I haven't even seen Miracle Day yet, I don't know which direction I want to go. As of today, I have scenes written through Cyberwoman, so if I get the proper encouragements, I might be tempted to post more often. Meanwhile: Things have been heating up between Ianto and Jack and Ianto realizes that maybe they should talk about it. Enjoy!_

**Torchwood Files  
**

**Chapter 10: Conversations**

Jack muttered an absent 'thank you' as Ianto placed a fresh cup of coffee at his elbow. He took a sip, sighed in pleasure, and opened his eyes to look at Ianto, who was still standing next to him.

"Something you wanted, Ianto?"

"Sir, you have a conference call with the Ministry of Defense at three. Would you like me to take minutes?"

"Really?"

"It's only proper for me to take on the duties of your secretary now that I've become familiar with your procedures and policies. I've been with Torchwood Three for a month," he said by way of explanation.

"You're offering to spend time alone with me in the conference room?"

"Yes, sir. The space in this office would be a little tight." Inwardly, Ianto shivered, imagining himself bent over Jack's desk and what might have happened if he'd been just a little bit more comfortable the other night.

Jack frowned, resisting the urge to make Ianto's statement into a sexual innuendo, and set his coffee down. He regarded the young man with curiosity. "Ianto, you've been avoiding me for days. What's with the change of heart?"

"I haven't been avoiding you, sir."

"Aside for a few minutes here and there to deliver coffee or go over reports, I haven't seen you since the other night. We need to have a conversation about it. If you're uncomfortable with what happened —"

"Sir!" Ianto exclaimed in a strangled voice, tilting his head in the direction of the open office door and the glass walls. Jack sighed again, in annoyance this time.

"Close the door."

Ianto hurried to do it. "I'm sorry about the other night, sir," Ianto whispered, sounding worried.

"Sorry? What for?"

"Your, um, your hair. It got a bit— messy."

Jack grinned, leaning back in his chair and putting his hands behind his head. "Nothing to be sorry about, Ianto. Hottest thing anyone's done to me in ages."

"Really?"

"Really. You'd be surprised what some of my turn-ons are."

"Perhaps," Ianto paused as if debating what to say next. "Perhaps after the conference call we might be able to discuss matters further."

"I'll hold you to that," Jack said. "And if the Rift intervenes, you're to stay here until I get back."

"Sir?"

"You heard me," Jack snapped, lowering his head to continue going over the budgeting report he'd been trying to work his way through when Ianto brought the coffee. "Dismissed."

Ianto turned on his heel and left the office, struggling to maintain his mask of neutrality at the rude dismissal.

_What's wrong with him today? _Ianto asked himself as he fled down into the archives. _It's like he's angry with me. Did I do something wrong? He accused me of avoiding him. Have I been? _

_It's been really busy this week. Sixteen Weevil hunts, five debris retrieval outings, three hostile aliens, and one family of space-nomads to send on their way. At least Saxon didn't get involved this time. _

_Everyone's been gone on missions most of the week. Jack's been out on all of them. I even had to man Tosh's computers while they all were out trying to deal with that Bentaran yesterday. Jack said I did a good job, though. That's a good sign, right? _

_And now that Lisa's in the Hub, I have to be extra careful about what I do and say. Sometimes getting away to give her her medicine is difficult. _

_Is he worried that I've changed my mind about sleeping with him? Maybe that's it. But how can I tell him that I'm not comfortable with the others knowing? It's a small place, and there's not many of us, but I want to keep it private, if at all possible. _

_I wouldn't ask him to stop flirting with me around the others. I know how important a part of him that is. I've certainly heard him flirting when off on missions. Strangely enough, I don't feel jealous about it. If it were Lisa flirting with other blokes, I'd be off the wall, but with Jack, it's fine. Maybe because he was clear that he does it, that it doesn't always (or usually?) go anywhere? And he told me that he's not monogamous. Knowing that, it's easier. Lisa and I never had that talk. It was assumed that we would be, but we never actually said it. _

_I think that's why I was so upset with her when she suggested it all those months ago, before the Battle. I was assuming we'd only be with each other, and here she was, wanting to have a threesome with someone she just met, and a man, at that. God, would I have done it if I'd met him? Knowing him as I do now, knowing how — attractive — he is, would I have done it? _

_It just seems like flirting is part of Jack. It's like breathing to him. Necessary. And I've been doing his laundry and dry cleaning since the moment I arrived, and the only times there was a whiff of sex on his clothes was after our firearms instruction or when we'd done stuff together. _

_Could it be that I'm the only one right now? That he's nervous because I said I wanted to have sex but we haven't done it yet? _

_Does he even *_get* _nervous about these kinds of things? _

_Did I actually tell him I'd do it? If I didn't, I need to. The more he touches me, the more I want…_

Ianto shook his head to clear it. _Right, three hours until the conference call. I should check on Lisa, then get Jack's notes ready for him. Then figure out what I'm going to say to him. _

_I want him. I want him all the time. _

_Lisa wants me to have him. She said it again this morning. "Take what pleasure you can while we do this work." In her normal voice, so I know it's what she really thinks. _

_But what's going to happen when she's better? If I've been with him, it'll be hard to go back to her. It'll be like I'm giving up on her to shag him. Like my loyalties have changed. _

_But haven't they already? I wake up thinking of him. I wank in the shower thinking of him. I imagine all the things we could do together. All the things I want to do with him. I wrote a damned list! _

_A month ago, I didn't even know how two men could have sex, and now I'm dreaming about it every night. Though, to be honest, I've wondered about it before. Lisa was right about that. But I've never been attracted to a man before. No one. Just him. Just Jack. _

_***TW TW TW*** _

When Jack entered the conference room for his call, Ianto had set up a place for each of them, across the table from each other. Ianto's place had a notebook and several pens lined up parallel to it, as well as a pair of folders and his laptop. Jack's place had the same notebook and pens, but only one folder and no laptop. He took his seat and flipped through the report Ianto had prepared. Ianto arrived a moment later with coffee for them both.

"Excellent work, Ianto," Jack said, indicating the report.

"I try my best." Ianto took his seat across from Jack and pulled over the speaker phone. "I took the liberty of informing them ahead of time that I would be present. Mr. Saxon is unable to join us, so Mr. Stevens will be leading the meeting. Mr. Stevens expressed quite a bit of surprise that you have an assistant. I got the impression you've never had one before?"

Jack chuckled. "It's never worked out."

"Oh?"

"I took over at the turn of the century. I spent the next few years building my team and getting rid of the goons Yvonne sent over."

"Goons?"

"Military arm."

"Ah. Goons," Ianto agreed. "Never got on well with them."

"So what are you telling Stevens about your title here?"

"Personal Assistant to Captain Harkness."

"I like the sound of that."

"I thought you might, sir," Ianto said dryly.

"Well, enough of that. Let's get this over with."

Jack found that the meeting was much smoother with Ianto present to keep him focused. He enjoyed watching Ianto taking notes, a small frown of concentration on his face as his pen moved on the page. Towards the end, Ianto pulled out his PDA and scheduled the next few meetings for them, with the usual "Rift willing" caveat.

"And that's that," Ianto declared as he hung up the phone and set his PDA down on the table.

"How do you do that?" Jack wondered.

"Do what, sir?"

"You managed to keep me from blowing up at them when they were being stupid _and_ convinced them to give us more money!"

"That's just part of my job, sir. If I'm to update the archives and begin digitizing them, we need another computer system. That costs tens of thousands of pounds. By implying that they might have greater access to Torchwood's information, with absolutely no intention of actually letting them see anything, I made it seem like a brilliant idea of theirs to give us the funding for the project."

"You're a brilliant man, Ianto Jones," Jack declared. "And gorgeous, to boot."

Ianto sighed and rolled his eyes. "Really, sir? 'To boot?' Couldn't you find a better colloquialism than that?" Jack shrugged.

"It's time for that talk," Jack said, his mood shifting. "Do you want to do it here, or in my office?"

Ianto eyed the other team members through the glass walls and the closed door of the conference room. "Let's stay here, if you don't mind," he said.

Jack nodded.

"I have some questions," Ianto blurted, opening the folder he hadn't touched all meeting. Jack motioned for him to continue. "Do we wear condoms?"

"Do you want to?" Jack asked. Ianto looked at him without speaking for a moment, clearly unsure of his answer. "Let me rephrase that. I can't catch anything and I'm not a carrier. A long time ago, I had my shots to prevent it. I'd advise using condoms with other people, but you don't need them with me, unless it makes you more comfortable."

Ianto nodded and wrote a few things down. He glanced briefly at Jack. "No condoms, then," he offered. Jack nodded. "From what I've read, it seems like one person's the top and one's the bottom. That seems rather limiting."

Jack grinned hugely. "That's not a question."

Ianto blushed and turned away.

"Where I come from," Jack continued, "there's no top or bottom. It's about the moment and who wants what to happen at that particular time."

"I didn't want to have to choose before I knew anything. I'm glad there's no need to."

"You know enough to talk about it," Jack pointed out. "Did it turn you on to read about it?"

Ianto's blush deepened. "When I thought about you doing it with me," he admitted.

"Good," Jack said, his grin growing even more. "I can work with that. Did you watch videos?"

"I preferred reading."

"Why?"

"Books don't tell me what things look like. I can use my imagination."

"But were the videos enjoyable? Would you watch them again?"

"I might. I think I'm ready for practical applications, though."

"Hmm. What's next on your list?" Jack asked.

"I'd like to keep it private, if you don't mind. And — casual?"

"Fine with me."

"It's just that Owen and Suzie —"

"It's fine, Ianto. I'm good at casual. After hours only." Jack paused. "Except for the flirting. We can't exactly stop doing that. They'd get suspicious."

"I already assumed that, sir." Ianto looked at his notes for a moment. Without looking up, he asked, "Do you think people can have feelings for more than one person at the same time?"

"Of course," Jack responded instantly. "I was with a couple once. Well, several times. Well, several different couples. Well, more than several, actually, but that's a whole series of stories, and I doubt you're interested in hearing it at the moment.

"Sexuality aside, you have many different relationships with many different people, don't you, between family, friends, others? You might love them, you might hate them, you might have something in between, but that's all feelings. I hate to keep saying stuff like this, but where I come from, monogamy isn't valued the way it is here. There are a lot of people who form families based on three or four adults. Loving two people at once is normal. Look at the Navaree. They always have three adults in a mating circle."

"It's a bit difficult to think about, though."

"What do you mean?"

"I was always taught that you'd find your one true love and that would be that. I might have other relationships, sex, lovers, whatever, but that there's one person out there for me, and that's that. I found her."

"Ah." Jack paused. "Her name was Lisa, wasn't it? Your girlfriend? If she were alive, and you could ask her right now what she thought, would she want you to move on? Would she be upset you're thinking about someone else, even if it's just for sex?"

Ianto felt tears burning at the corners of his eyes. "She'd want me to be happy," he finally answered. "I just don't know if I'm ready. I'm still in love with her."

"There's no need to rush things, Ianto," Jack murmured, and Ianto could hear the compassion in his voice. "I've put the offer on the table. That's all. It's up to you to do something about it, when you're ready." Jack reached across the table to touch Ianto's hand, but pulled back, remembering that their teammates were nearby.

Ianto raised his head. "It feels like a betrayal of her to want to be with you," he admitted.

"I can't help you with that feeling," Jack said with a sigh. "I wish I could, but that's on your conscious."

"I know, sir. I need time to think about things." Ianto paused and looked at Jack.

"Take your time," Jack answered. His mood shifting yet again, Jack rose to his feet and gathered his folder. "Thank you for your help with this meeting."

Ianto nodded in acknowledgment as Jack disappeared out the door, already shouting to Tosh to find out if anything interesting happened while they were unavailable.

_Well, that went better than I expected, _Ianto thought, gathering his laptop and folders. _He's even willing to wait a while. I can't push it too far, though. I have to keep him interested. I have to keep him so focused on me that he won't think to look for Lisa, won't think to go down to the archives. _


	11. Chapter 11: Dinosaur Training

_A/N: There's smut in this chapter. Be warned! ;-)**  
**_

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 11: Dinosaur Training**

Three weeks after the conversation with Jack in the conference room, (three weeks of stolen kisses in the archives when the rest of the team was otherwise occupied, of groping in the dark after everyone went home, of jerking each other off because Ianto refused anything else but _needed_ Jack's touch, of thwarted desire and soul searching and conversations with himself and with Lisa, of need and guilt and finally acceptance) Ianto found Jack sitting on the metal walkway next to the pterodactyl's nest an hour before dawn.

Wearing just his pants, boots, and white t-shirt, with his braces hanging down, Jack was the image of relaxation. Ianto settled next to him on the floor. Jack nodded in greeting as he put a finger to his lips, asking for silence. They sat companionably for a moment.

Jack stood. "Myfanwy, fly!" he shouted suddenly, throwing his hand out in a decisive gesture to the air before them as if directing troops into battle. With a screech, the pterodactyl shot from her nest and flew in a circle around the roof of the Hub. On her turn back to them, Jack threw her a piece of chocolate.

"Good girl," he cooed. Myfanwy returned to her nest. Jack walked over and scratched the top of her head and neck ridge, feeding her another piece of chocolate as he continued to praise her. Jack settled down next to Ianto again. "In fifteen minutes you can try it," he said, patting Ianto's knee and leaving his hand there.

"You really are training her to be a guard dog," Ianto murmured. He unbuttoned the sleeves of his shirt without thinking about it. His jacket had been abandoned downstairs when he realized Jack was up there.

"Told you I needed one."

"And you're housebreaking her, too. Don't think I haven't noticed there's less dino shit around."

"You clean up enough of our shit. You don't need to deal with that, if I can help it at all."

"So you can't train the humans, but you can train the dinosaur?"

"Humans are a lot more complex."

Ianto leaned his shoulder against Jack's. "We definitely are."

Jack lifted his hand and put his arm around Ianto's shoulders, pulling him closer. He waited for Ianto to give the ok to kiss him. Ianto smiled to himself and rested a hand on Jack's thigh, deliberately avoiding the possibility of a kiss by looking away. Jack sighed. They sat quietly, lost in their own thoughts, until Ianto broke the silence.

"What's a man got to do to get a little chocolate around here?" he asked, stroking up and down Jack's leg in a blatantly suggestive gesture.

"There are so many possibilities with that question, Ianto. What are you looking for today?"

"I want you," Ianto whispered, his voice low and husky with desire. Turning, he found Jack's face with his hand and kissed him, long and hard and deep. Jack responded, pulling Ianto to hold him close as they took turns exploring each other's mouths.

Ianto didn't care that they were on a hard metal walkway next to a living, breathing pre-historic creature. He didn't care that the grating was digging into his knees or that his trousers were filthy from sitting on the floor. All he cared about was the feel of Jack's tongue against his and Jack's hands slipping under his shirt to stroke his back and that finally — _finally_ — he was going to let Jack do more than jerk him off. Jack seemed to sense the difference in Ianto from the intensity of their kiss.

"Downstairs?" Jack breathed.

"Downstairs," Ianto confirmed, rising quickly and helping Jack to his feet. Before he could take a step towards the stairway, Jack kissed him again. Ianto reached down to cup Jack's cock through his pants, eliciting a small moan.

"Come on," Jack growled, breaking away to take Ianto's hand and lead him down the stairs.

On the main level, Ianto pulled Jack's t-shirt off over his head and dropped it on the floor, then stroked Jack's chest, brushing his fingertips over his nipples. Jack kissed him roughly and began undoing Ianto's tie while Ianto struggled with the buttons of his shirt. The tie landed on the floor next to Jack's shirt, Ianto's shirt following quickly after. Jack ran his fingers through Ianto's chest hair, murmuring appreciatively.

"Couch?" Ianto asked breathlessly, breaking their kiss just long enough to ask the question. Jack nibbled on his neck, grunting affirmatively and moving them in the proper direction.

At the couch, Jack sat beside Ianto as they kissed and licked and bit gently along each other's necks and shoulders and chests. When Jack reached for Ianto's belt, Ianto moaned.

"Lay back," Jack directed. Ianto complied, lifting his hips to help Jack pull his pants and boxers down. For the first time since the incident in the shower, Ianto was naked in front of Jack. He felt vulnerable, but his desire was so strong he ignored it in favor of Jack's lips on his and Jack's hands stroking along his skin. Jack kissed Ianto's stomach and the small scar from when he had his appendix out as a child.

"What should we do?" Jack asked.

"I don't know. You decide."

Jack chuckled. "You're sure you don't have a request? Something you've wanted?"

Ianto considered as Jack kissed him. "Maybe — blow me?" He ended on a tentative note.

Jack smiled sweetly. "Thought you'd never ask," he whispered, excitement in his voice. He kissed along Ianto's stomach again, swirling his tongue in Ianto's navel. He moved lower, enveloping Ianto in the wet heat of his mouth.

Ianto bucked his hips, thrusting deeper into Jack's mouth before he could stop himself. Jack hummed in response, the vibrations sending thrills along Ianto's nerve endings. With fingers and lips and tongue, Jack coaxed Ianto into the most intense orgasm of his life. It was all he could do to kiss Jack in thanks before Ianto fell into unconsciousness, several months of longing finally satisfied in a glorious moment of pleasure.


	12. Chapter 12: What is Flat Holm?

****A/N: Just added a bunch of content to this chapter. Enjoy! (11/2012)

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 12: What is Flat Holm?**

Ianto awoke to find himself sprawled naked on the couch with Jack's greatcoat covering him. His clothes had been folded haphazardly and placed on the table next to him. Sitting up, he ran his fingers through his hair and looked around for Jack.

"Jack?" he called softly. Not getting a response, he sighed and reached for his shirt. _I fell asleep, _Ianto thought angrily. _I fell asleep and I didn't even get to blow him. Shit. Is he angry? Is that why he's not here? That I didn't return the favor? _Dressed, he stepped over to the nearest workstation, Tosh's, and looked over the readouts. _Hmm, interesting. Maybe him being gone has nothing to do with me, after all? _

"You're awake."

Ianto turned in surprise at Jack's voice. "Yeah. You, too, it seems."

Jack shrugged. "We keep doing this, you'll find that I don't sleep much." He was fully dressed and looked like he'd had a shower.

"So," Ianto said, extending the word. "Negative Rift spike?"

Jack stepped closer. "I'm sorry?"

"There was a negative Rift spike. Is that where you were?" Jack paused by Ianto, waiting. "Emily Star," Ianto continued, pointing at the program Jack had left running. "Twenty-two years old. She's not back yet, is she?"

"You figured it out," Jack stated.

"It's not that hard when you think about it. If the Rift drops things off, why shouldn't it also take things away?"

"Questions?" Jack fell into Captain mode easily, both his voice and posture changing.

"Can I see the facility at Flat Holm?"

"Why?"

"I want to help. You shouldn't have to do it alone." They looked at each other for a few heartbeats. "And I have to see the place if I'm going to figure out how to increase their budget for the things they need most," Ianto added. "It doesn't seem like they have enough, and you shouldn't have to be stealing from Owen's stores to supply them."

Jack turned and settled onto the couch, crossing his legs and resting his arms along the back of it. "You've seen the budget reports?"

"Really, sir, your lack of faith in my abilities is insulting. Once I knew there was something to look for, it was easy enough to find. You have a pattern about how you set these things up. I was just waiting for a negative spike so I could ask you about it."

"When did you figure it out?"

"A few weeks ago."

"Which sorts of patterns are we talking about?"

"You have several bank accounts, in several countries, I might add, that are designated for helping various peoples and organizations. Flat Holm is one of them. Not counting the ones for personal use, of course."

"How many have you found?"

"Seven, and three personal ones," Ianto answered, unable to keep the pride from his voice at having found so many. He knew there had to be more, with all the time travel he assumed Jack had done and the need to have money whenever he was, but he couldn't find more than that. Still, ten was a lot compared to the one account Ianto himself had.

Jack nodded absently and chewed on a fingernail. "Huh. Tosh found nine, and that's not all of them. And all four of the personal ones."

"She's better at computers than I am."

"If I bring you in on this, Ianto, you'll need to keep it from the others. Are you prepared to do that? Only Suzie even knows the place exists, and she wants nothing to do with it."

"If that's what you need, sir," Ianto answered. "Secrets are a bit of a habit, working for Torchwood."

"Good," Jack declared, jumping to his feet. "I'll get you a copy of the pertinent files and we can go out there on Sunday, Rift willing. I'll get Suzie to mind the Hub. You'll want to wear something warm. Once you've seen the place you can decide what kind of involvement you'd like in the project."

"You gave Suzie that choice, too?"

"Yes, but it was too much for her to be a part of it. It's enough that she covers the Hub while I'm over there."

"How often do you go?"

"Once a month unless someone comes back through. It hasn't happened in a while."

"I'll just go make some coffee, shall I?" Ianto said, and Jack's smile made the room seem a little lighter all of a sudden.

"Thank you, Ianto."

"Sir?" Ianto paused. Jack turned back to him. "I want to reciprocate…"

"Tosh and Suzie should be here in an hour," Jack interrupted. He stepped forward and planted a quick kiss on Ianto's lips. "Make the coffee, get yourself cleaned up, and when they leave for the night — well, we can see what happens, yeah?"

"Yes, sir," Ianto said with a small smile.

***TW TW TW***

Ianto didn't realize he was crying until Jack's hand landed heavily on his shoulder and startled him out of the daze he was in, lost in the memories of Flat Holm and its residents. He looked up. Jack had been crying, as well, but the tears were long since dry on his face.

"We're back," Jack said. He lifted his hand and brushed the tears off Ianto's cheek with his thumb. "I told Suzie to go home, so we have the place to ourselves, if you want to stay." He smiled sadly. "Don't feel obligated."

Ianto nodded and climbed off the boat after Jack. "I'll stay. I don't want to go home to an empty flat right now, after seeing that."

Silently, they walked through the disused corridors of the Hub from the boat dock, both still lost in their memories and thoughts about the visit to Flat Holm and the residents there. Jack stopped suddenly at a door Ianto could've sworn he'd never seen before. Jack swiped his security card and pressed a sixteen-digit code into the keypad. The light turned green and the door slid open.

Ianto found himself in a library with several thousand books crammed onto shelves haphazardly. Looking over the titles, he realized that some of them were first editions of books over a hundred years old. They were in almost pristine condition. On another shelf was a collection of books that was clearly from the future, by the titles and materials that made the books. He pulled a physics book from the shelf and gaped at one of the diagrams.

"You coming?" Jack demanded from the far side of the room. With a guilty start, Ianto put the book back on the shelf and hurried to follow Jack down a corridor. He glanced at the closed doors on either side of the hall and came to the conclusion that this was Jack's personal area of the Hub, the one that everyone assumed existed but had never seen. All Ianto had seen up to that point was the bedroom and bathroom below Jack's office, and he knew he was one of the select few to even be allowed down there.

Jack shucked off his clothing as he walked, dropping his greatcoat over a chair in the library and leaving his boots at the door. By the time they made it to his private bathroom, he was naked, a trail of clothing along the floor behind him. He turned the tap and stepped under the spray, moaning in pleasure as the hot water beat down on his back.

Ianto glanced over his shoulder at the way they had come. He'd never noticed that door into the bathroom before, and he'd been in the room half-a-dozen times to gather Jack's clothing for the laundry.

"Perception filter," Jack explained from the shower. "Now that you've seen the door, it probably won't work for you, especially with how familiar you are with the one on the invisible lift."

"I— um— thank you for showing me." Ianto toed off his trainers and quickly removed his clothes, folding them and putting them on the toilet seat.

He stepped into the shower stall with Jack and began massaging Jack's neck and shoulders as Jack leaned against the tiles in front of him. Without thinking, he leaned forward and kissed Jack's shoulder blade. At Jack's sigh, he kissed him again, moving down his spine. Jack moaned when he kissed along his ass crack.

"You like that, sir?" Ianto asked.

"I think you can tell that I do," Jack replied with a hearty chuckle that sent shivers through Ianto's whole body.

"Hmm." Ianto settled onto one knee and spread Jack's cheeks. Before he could change his mind, he darted in and began licking, exploring. He reached around Jack's leg to stroke his erection. "You have lube?"

"Not in here, but the bed's not far."

"I'm not doing this out there," Ianto protested.

"It's not any cleaner in here, you know. It's just an illusion because of the water."

"That's not the point," Ianto muttered. Jack shifted, giving Ianto more room to work with. "Well, maybe it is…" Ianto admitted.

Jack laughed. "Do I have to remind you that I can't catch or carry anything you might be worried about?"

"That's it! I'm done," Ianto declared, slapping his hands against the tiles and standing. "Now is not the time to be having this conversation."

Jack snaked an arm around his waist, pulling him close. "On the contrary, now is exactly the time to have this conversation." He captured Ianto's lips in a long sensuous kiss. Ianto couldn't help the shudder to think of where his mouth had just been and that the captain was so cavalier about kissing him.

"Jack…"

"No, seriously, what's the difference doing it here or on the bed? Really?"

"Umm… It makes me feel better to do it here?" Ianto hazarded.

Jack sighed loudly, clearly frustrated. After a tense moment, he reached over Ianto's head for the bottle of body wash. "Use this," he muttered, handing it over. "Not as comfortable as lube, but it'll do in a pinch."

"Really?"

"I thought you said you did research?"

"Well, I noted the need for lubrication…" Ianto trailed off. Jack sighed again.

"Maybe we should call it a night. Suddenly, I'm not in the mood anymore." Jack twisted the dial, shutting off the water. "You should probably go." He stepped around Ianto and grabbed a towel. He picked up a second one and handed it over. Reluctantly, Ianto accepted it.

"I don't want to go," Ianto protested softly.

Jack turned back to him and their eyes met. "There's the couch upstairs. Do some thinking about what you want out of all of this."

Jack tossed his towel on the floor and disappeared through the door towards the library and his other rooms, leaving Ianto alone in the bathroom with a feeling of rats crawling around in his stomach from the anxiety of everything that had just happened. Before he could process his feelings, or even shove them in boxes in his head to look at later, Ianto found himself kneeling on the cold tiles vomiting violently.

***TW TW TW***

Jack sat in his favorite chair in the library and stewed for two hours before he decided to see what was going on with Ianto. His vortex manipulator hadn't told him that the cog door had been used, so he assumed Ianto was on the couch upstairs, as he'd suggested. _Ordered_, a part of his mind told him.

_You're sulking, Harkness, admit it. You didn't want him to stop, or have qualms about it, and he did, and you over reacted. When will you get it through your thick skull that not all men in this century are comfortable with rimming? And you've barely done anything with Ianto yet! That he's even willing to try this soon should be a good sign._

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. _And now you've probably given him a complex about it. As if he needed one. He's too neat and tidy as it is. But, God, does he look good in those suits!_

Jack smiled, thinking of four nights ago when Ianto had approached him after everyone had gone home and demanded to be fucked, hard, across Jack's desk. Jack had laughed as the blush spread across Ianto's cheeks and along his ears even as he made his demand, but Ianto had been waiting all day, and Jack Harkness wasn't one to say no to such a direct request. Ianto hadn't disappointed, either. It was only their second time having sex — the first being as slow and careful as Jack could manage with his own body making demands he wasn't sure Ianto was ready for, while Ianto writhed in pleasure underneath him, begging Jack to get on with it, I'm not made of glass — but Ianto made it clear that if Jack didn't do it his way this time, there would be decaf in his mug for the next week. He'd shouted his release even as he clenched down on Jack, bringing him quickly over the edge. Ianto had left for home immediately afterwards, on shaky legs, leaving Jack to clean up the mess. Jack hadn't minded.

_Such a beautiful body that man has_, he mused. _And I'm pretty sure he's not even aware of what he does to me yet. Oh, sure, he knows I'm attracted, but does he have any idea I've been fantasizing about him for months? Ever since I first saw him that night in the park in those tight jeans?_

When Jack got up to check on Ianto, having taken care of the need for release by reliving memories of their first couplings and the judicious use of his hand, he didn't expect to find Ianto curled in the fetal position on his own bed, under a pair of blankets, shivering. Jack swore under his breath and rushed over.

"Ianto, what's wrong?" he demanded. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"

"Didn't know," Ianto answered weakly.

"This is my fault," Jack said. "I shouldn't have taken you out there when you were sick. Shit." He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Ianto's shoulder while he pressed a few buttons on his vortex manipulator to get a sense of the real picture. "Looks like you picked something up while you were on the island. I know this strain. It'll pass in a few hours. Are you cold?"

"You think?" Ianto muttered sarcastically, burrowing deeper under the blankets.

Jack rolled his eyes and climbed into bed with Ianto, wrapping his arms around him. "Come on, stretch out against me. I have the heat to spare." Reluctantly, Ianto did so. "There, that's better, isn't it?"

Ianto ignored the question, shivering violently. "What's wrong with me?"

"Alien flu," Jack answered. "As I said, it'll pass in a few hours. You've been sick already, right? That's a good sign. You'll be fine soon. Just let me warm you up."

"Have you been naked this whole time? And you're still this warm?"

"As I said, I have heat to spare."

They lay in silence as Ianto slowly warmed up. His breathing slowed.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have freaked out about it."

"No, I'm the one who stormed off. I should've known you'd be hesitant about it. I forget how new to this you are, and I expect more than I should."

"I'll try it again, if you want," Ianto said hesitantly. "I mean, we never talked about it, but I liked it when you've it to me, and the urge just struck me, and then you seemed to like it…"

"It's ok, Ianto," Jack murmured. He kissed Ianto's forehead. "There's time. We don't have to rush and do everything the first week."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. Just because you have a list doesn't mean we have to rush," Jack said again. "And we should talk about it when you're better. About what you want, that kind of thing. It'll be nice to draw it out, enjoy it, as we get to know each other in this way."

"Hmmm."

"Now try to sleep," Jack murmured, tightening his grip on Ianto. Without consciously deciding to, Jack began singing a lullaby his mother used to sing to him when he was sick. Ianto slipped into sleep.


	13. Chapter 13: Ianto Learns Jack's Secret

****A/N: This chapter contains smut- be warned. Ianto learns something very important about Jack, and realizes that his secret isn't as well-kept as he thought.

Disclaimer: As always, TW isn't mine. I just like to reinterpret it.

We're only a few chapters from the beginning of Series One, so be ready for Gwen to show up.

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 13: Ianto Learns Jack's Secret**

"Where's Jack?" Ianto asked as the rest of the team stomped into the main Hub from the car park, Owen and Suzie carrying a large specimen case between them. A dead alien with large spines lay inside.

"Car park," Owen declared with a grunt.

"He wants water," Tosh said, passing Ianto to drop her bag by her desk. She immediately pulled her PDA from her pocket and began comparing data on it with something on one of her computer monitors.

"But bring him coffee," Suzie said. She and Owen put the case on the autopsy table and she took a seat on the steps to the autopsy bay.

"Bastard ran around for an hour chasing this thing, then killed it, when I specifically told him I wanted to study it alive, and then fell asleep in the car. Can you believe it?" Owen demanded. "He sat in the back with Tosh and fell asleep! He never sits in the back, and he never sleeps."

"He's got to sleep sometimes," Tosh said, not looking up from her screen.

"He told me once he didn't need much sleep," Suzie offered. "Something about military training, or something like that. I never know what to believe from what he says."

"Come off it, the man's a freak," Owen said.

"You're sure he's ok, then?" Ianto asked, hoping his voice didn't show his anxiety. He hated it when Jack was injured, although the man had a remarkable healing ability. Still, it hurt, and Ianto couldn't keep from wanting the man he was sleeping with to be healthy. He quickly made coffee for everyone.

"You ever seen him sleep?" Owen asked out of the blue. "You're here earlier _and_ later than anyone else, so if anyone's seen it, it should be you."

"Nope," Ianto replied, not wanting to hear whatever snarky comment Owen could make about it if he admitted that he'd seen it not twelve hours ago, after he and Jack had spent half the night fucking and Jack had fallen into a fitful sleep while Ianto just lay there watching him for half an hour before gathering his clothes and leaving to check on Lisa and then go to his apartment for a few hours of sleep of his own. "He's always awake when I get in, and he's still awake when I leave."

"Well, see if you can wake him up and get him down here. I'll have a look at him, just in case something's really wrong. In the meantime, let's see what this baby can tell us." Owen rubbed his hands together as he began setting up for an autopsy of the spider-like thing.

"Righto," Ianto said cheerily. "Who's for coffee before I go?"

By the time Ianto made it to the car park, Jack was awake and leaning out over the edge of the SUV vomiting blood.

"Jack!" Ianto shouted, running to his side. "Let me call Owen."

"No!" Jack grabbed Ianto's arms and held on tightly. "I need you to trust me on this. Don't call Owen. Don't call anyone." They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment before Jack doubled over to vomit again. "Just stay with me," Jack managed, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and accepting a bottle of water from Ianto to rinse out his mouth.

Ianto looked around and decided that doing what Jack wanted was probably for the best. Maybe this was a new way of healing himself quickly that Ianto had never seen before. He climbed into the other side of the SUV, putting the travel mug of coffee in a cupholder and offering his arms to Jack, who leaned against him with a grateful sigh.

"What happened?" Ianto asked.

"Fucker stung me," Jack said, leaning his back against Ianto's chest. "That's why I had to kill it. Owen's probably pissed, but it's better that way."

"Owen can deal with it," Ianto declared. "Can I give you something from the anti-toxin kit?"

"No, it's too late. It just needs to work its way out of my system. Vomiting helped. I'll be fine soon."

"What are you telling me?"

"I can trust you, Ianto, can't I?" Jack asked, his voice growing weaker.

"Of course, sir."

"Then wait with me."

"Wait for what?"

"You'll see," Jack whispered. With a final breath that rattled in his chest, Jack died.

"Jack?" Ianto asked, stroking his cheek, sensing the difference in Jack but not understanding it yet. "Jack?" When he got no response, he checked for a pulse. "Shit! Jack! Don't die on me! Please, don't die." Ianto checked for a pulse at a different point, then, when he didn't find one, tested for breath. "Come on, Jack, you can't die. Not yet," he begged, slapping Jack to try to wake him up. "I haven't been able to tell you about Lisa yet," he whispered, tears slipping down his cheeks. "I can't do this without you. I need your help. The others won't understand. I need you."

"Please, Jack," he managed, hauling Jack's body tighter against his own.

An small eternity later, Jack gasped back to life, scrabbling to hold on to Ianto as tightly as he could. Breathing deeply to help himself reorient to being alive again, he opened his eyes to meet Ianto's.

"Ianto?" Jack asked, reaching up to touch Ianto's tear-stained cheeks. "Hey, it's ok. I told you I'd be fine, didn't I?"

"You were dead," Ianto whispered.

"Yeah."

"You were dead," Ianto repeated. "Really dead. No pulse dead. But now you're not."

"Yeah."

"Are you human?"

Jack chuckled and pulled himself out of Ianto's embrace. "Why is that always the first question?" he muttered.

"We work for Torchwood. Why shouldn't it be the first question? What should it be?"

"I don't know. Maybe 'are you ok?'"

"You look better than you did when I first saw you. You're not vomiting blood, for one thing. And your complexion's better. I can only assume you feel better than before."

"Too true," Jack said, smiling grimly. He glanced around the SUV. "Is that coffee?" Ianto nodded and handed it to him. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"So, if I may ask, all the references to 'Agent CJH' or 'Agent JH' or such things in the archives are about you?" Ianto asked.

"Yes," Jack answered. "I wondered if you'd pick up on that. I've been able to purge the digital records, but the hard copies were more difficult. Especially seeing the state of them before you got here. None of the others ever went down there for very long before you came, and now we know to ask you, since you've made such good headway."

"I assumed it was time travel. Knowing what Torchwood knows about the Doctor pretty much makes time travel a fact in my book." Jack shrugged. "How old are you?"

"I'm not sure any more. Over a hundred and fifty. Maybe as much as 175."

"Are you human?" Ianto asked again.

"As human as anyone, where I'm from. About 98%, I'd guess."

"Huh." Silence stretched between them again, considerably more awkward than before.

"Ianto? Talk to me."

"The others don't know. Even Owen, your doctor? Or Suzie?"

"No, they don't. I'd like to keep it that way."

"Of course, sir," Ianto replied without hesitation. "You can rely on me to keep your secrets."

"I can keep yours, too, you know. And stop calling me sir."

Ianto tensed. "I don't know what you mean."

Jack sighed and replaced the coffee mug in the cup holder, then pulled Ianto into his arms, forcing him against his chest. "I know you booked a flight for Dr. Tanizaki from Japan to Cardiff for November. I haven't read your emails about it, so I don't know why you want him here, but I'll need to know soon. I can give you a month to come to me, otherwise I'll figure it out on my own, and that wouldn't be as good for you."

"You know about that?"

"I want you to come to me, Ianto. I want you to trust me, to see me as different than Yvonne and Torchwood London."

"I do, Jack," Ianto managed through a suddenly dry throat. "But I need time."

"I can give you a month," Jack repeated.

"The others?"

"This is between us," Jack said. "As your supervisor, I need the information. Tanizaki could be a security risk. As your —" Jack broke off, unsure of what to call himself in relation to Ianto. "As someone in an intimate relationship with you, I want to know. I want to be able to help you with whatever it is."

"Jack—"

"You've been here five months. I can't keep you on if I can't trust you. Six months is my limit."

"I know, Jack. And you _can_ trust me. I won't tell anyone about this. I wouldn't put you at risk like that."

"Tanizaki?"

"I'll tell you soon, sir," Ianto said firmly, putting on his butler voice, effectively ending the conversation. Jack nodded curtly and opened his door. Ianto scrambled to follow him, grabbing the coffee mug as he did so. "Would you like the last of your coffee?"

"Sure." Jack accepted the cup and they stood leaning against the side of the SUV as he drank it. "Looks pretty gruesome," Jack muttered, indicating the puddle of blood and sick on the ground.

"I'll clean it up," Ianto offered. He found a hose and sprayed down the area.

"This was the third death," Jack said when Ianto had finished. "I died instantly when it stung me, then again in the car on the way back. The poison was still in me."

"The others said you'd fallen asleep."

"Owen and Suzie were bickering the whole time, and Tosh was focused on her computers. It was a quieter death that what you saw."

"So you came back again and had to get rid of the poison?"

"Yeah. And let me tell you, sticking your finger down your throat's never a easy, especially when you've done the work on your gag reflex that I've done."

Ianto laughed. "Leave it to you to turn a conversation about dying and coming back to life into a conversation about oral sex."

"Speaking of sex…"

"Not now, Jack. It's the workday. We haven't been careful enough lately. Remember how Suzie almost caught us last week?"

Jack shrugged off Ianto's concerns. "It's the best way to prove that I'm alive!" Jack put the coffee cup on the roof of the car and pressed close to Ianto, invading his personal space. "Think about it. You, me, the hood of the SUV? Think how much fun that'd be."

Ianto groaned. "You know just how tempting that sounds, don't you?"

Jack pressed his lips against Ianto's neck, kissing upwards until he reached Ianto's ear, which he licked. He cupped Ianto's groin.

"But not now!" Ianto pushed Jack backwards enough to be able to think again. "How about I give you a quick blow job right now, and we can take turns fucking each other over the car later once everyone's gone home?"

"Deal," Jack said instantly, kissing Ianto's lips and maneuvering them so that he was leaning against the wall next to the car. Ianto crouched in front of him, undid his zipper, and got to work. Jack, already hard, twitched at the feeling of Ianto's mouth around him.

"_Jack? You on the comms yet? We've got a situation down here." _Owen's nasal voice crackled in Ianto's ear. Jack didn't seem to notice, so Ianto continued what he was doing. He never wanted to miss an opportunity to taste Jack. "_Oi, Teaboy, you there?" _Ianto glanced up at Jack, who was leaning his head back against the wall with his eyes closed and a look of enjoyment on his face. He wasn't wearing an earpiece.

"That's it, Ianto, that's good," Jack murmured, running his fingers through Ianto's hair. "You're so good at this."

Ianto smiled at the compliment, shifting to his knees so he was at a better angle. "Just think, three months ago I'd never done it before."

Jack chuckled. "I never would've known if you hadn't said anything. The way you looked at me after the first time… Goddess, that was hot."

_I'd just learned what ambrosia tastes like, _Ianto thought. _Of course I'm going to look at you like that. _

Ianto cupped Jack's balls and sucked on them before drawing his shaft as far down his throat as he could manage. Jack moaned loudly.

Static crackled in Ianto's ear again. "_Tosh, where's Jack?" _Owen asked, annoyance in his voice.

"_Car park," _Tosh answered in a bored voice. Ianto doubted she'd looked up from her monitor to answer.

"_What's he doing down there? Hasn't Teaboy gotten him up yet?" _

"_He's —" _Tosh broke off. "_He's busy,"_ she finally said.

"_What does that mean?" _

"_Just busy." _Tosh paused. "_Give him twenty minutes and he'll make his way down here." _

"_That's sounding suspicious." _

"_Look at your monitor, idiot," _Suzie said, joining the conversation. "_Looks like Ianto has no problems getting Jack up. It's not a bad show." _

With a growl, Ianto tore the comm link from his ear and shoved it in his pocket. He clutched at Jack's hips, sucking harder, hoping Jack would come more quickly. He focused his attention on the head of Jack's cock, knowing how it drove Jack crazy. He tasted the liquid at the slit, running his tongue over it teasingly.

"Easy, tiger," Jack said, pushing Ianto back slightly and running his fingers through his hair again. "No need to rush."

"Harkness!" Owen shouted over the intercom. "Get blown on your own time! We need you in here now. This thing you killed is giving birth. Spider like things're crawling around everywhere."

"For fuck's sake!" Jack exclaimed, turning to look directly at the camera above their heads. With one hand he pulled his earpiece from his pocket and activated it while he grabbed his cock with the other and did _something_ to make it flaccid again. Ianto, his cheeks burning, quickly put Jack back together.

"Owen, I was very clear with you to put that thing on ice until I was there!" Jack pulled away from Ianto and tore open the door to the hallway leading to the Hub. "Tosh, Suzie, get the place on partial lockdown as soon as I'm inside," Jack continued, stomping down the hall, in full Captain mode. "Ianto! Get to the tourist office and monitor the lockdown from there. If these things start running, we could have a crisis on our hands and we'll need to go full. I'll need you inside with your computer if we do."

Ianto got to his feet and stared as the door swung closed behind Jack before pulling out his own earpiece again. "I'm on it, sir," he acknowledged, knowing Jack would want the confirmation that he'd heard the order. He brushed off his knees and started walking quickly towards the exit by the tourist office, the one part of the base not effected by a partial lockdown.

"Teaboy? Looks like your technique needs some work," Owen added, clicking off the intercom with a snicker. Ianto made a rude gesture in the direction of the camera and continued walking.


	14. Chapter 14: Ianto's Confusion

A/N: Be prepared for angst in this chapter... Next chapter brings us to where the series begins.

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 14: Ianto's Embarrassment and Confusion**

Tosh smiled apologetically when Ianto emerged from the tourist office once the baby spider aliens had been gathered up and disposed of. He handed her coffee from the tray he carried without meeting her eyes.

"I'm really sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to see, or for them to find out. But it's fine, you know. I'm fine with it."

"Doesn't matter," Ianto muttered. "Not like it's going anywhere."

Suzie smirked but said nothing, her focus on the glove and her most recent experiments with it. Ianto noticed she'd already finished with the rats he'd gotten for her. _Resurrection Gauntlet, indeed,_ he scoffed. _Who in their right mind would want to bring back the dead? _

"I'll be going now, sir, if you don't mind," Ianto said softly, passing Jack his coffee.

"Sure," Jack answered, looking up. "How are you?"

"Fine, sir."

"You don't look fine," Jack persisted.

"Jack, drop it. Allow me what little dignity I have left and let me go without having to discuss it here. They're all staring as it is. Please."

Jack narrowed his eyes as he regarded Ianto, noting his pale skin and the hollows under his eyes. He glanced behind him at their colleagues. "You'll be in at the regular time?"

"Of course."

"All right. Get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow," Jack said.

Ianto let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." He turned to leave the office and ran into Owen.

"Watch where you're going, rent boy," Owen grunted. Heat flooded Ianto's face.

"Owen, you're out of line," Jack snarled, rising to his feet.

"Yeah, yeah. Where's my coffee?" he demanded of Ianto.

"Sorry, I don't serve bullies," Ianto replied with as much dignity as he could muster before squeezing past the smaller man and leaving the Hub.

***TW TW TW***

"Something has changed," Lisa commented in her robotic voice. "You smell different."

"Do we have to talk about this?" Ianto asked, his voice pained.

"If something significant has changed, we may need to update our plan."

"The others found out about me and Jack. I've been avoiding them all for a week. Avoiding him, too."

"That is not part of the plan. You need to continue having intercourse with him to keep him occupied so that he will not become aware of this unit's presence in his base."

"It's not that simple!" Ianto shouted. "I can't do it anymore if they know about it. I don't want them to know."

"Why? Their knowledge does not affect the plan."

"Lisa, please. Please understand. I'm not gay. I'm just doing this to help you get better. But I don't need to keep doing it. He trusts me now."

"You like it," Lisa said softly in her regular voice. "I can hear it in your voice when you talk about it. You like being with him."

"He's very experienced. He makes it feel good."

"It's ok if you like it." Lisa paused. "When I'm better, maybe I can work here, too. We can all be together, and work together. Like London. They encouraged us to pair up with each other in London. Like a family."

"And what, you'd have our children? First one of mine, then one of his? And back and forth until we had a small army?" Ianto snorted at the absurdity of the image in his head. "Would you sleep with Owen, too?"

"Why not? Torchwood will need more members to repopulate those we lost in London. Who better than our children?"

"That's a horrible thought. It's nothing like London here. We face death every day! Even me, and I spend most of my time in the archives or manning the tourist office."

"Still, don't avoid him because of me."

"I just don't know what to do any more. Owen taunts me about it all the time, and I can't concentrate on what I'm supposed to be doing. And Suzie's taken to making little snide comments. I think she wanted Jack at one point, but he rejected her. That's why she got with Owen."

"So confront Owen. Tell him to mind his own business. And isn't he still sleeping with Suzie? Use that against him if you have to."

"You're changing," Ianto said. "You'd never have suggested blackmail before."

"You're changing, too. You wouldn't have slept with a man before."

"I'm doing it to make you better. Just keep the faith. I'll make it happen."


	15. Chapter 15: Everything Changes

A/N: This is the chapter that begins to follow along with the TV show. There will be a few variations from the cannon along the way, but I've tried to make them as slight as possible and still work in my universe. Torchwood and the characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them for a while.

Warning: m/m action at one point. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Please review and let me know how I'm doing!

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 15: Everything Changes**

"Estrogen. Definitely Estrogen," Jack said, leaning his head back to taste the rain. He rambled for a few minutes as his team set up around the murder victim that was their current project.

"_Sir?" _Ianto said over the comms. "_You have a curious police officer on the scene. She's in the garage beside you. I don't have a clear view, but I think she's watching the proceedings." _

Jack sighed audibly enough that Ianto heard him back at the Hub.

"_I've got her through the facial recognition software and police database. Her name is Gwen Cooper. According to this, she's being prepped for the investigative track. Hasn't started yet, though." _

Jack shifted his footing, resisting the urge to look up. "So she's smart and observant?" Jack wondered in an undertone.

"_Yes. Should I look into her background?" _

"Probably. I can have the others do it, though, if you'd like a night off from the minutiae."

"_If you wouldn't mind, sir. I still have that inventory of our local Weevil population to do tonight." _

"Ah, it's that time of the month, isn't it? Go home when you're done. We won't need you."

"_Thank you, sir." _

"Call me Jack!"

"_Yes, sir. Wouldn't want that head of yours to get big again, now, would we?" _Ianto signed off with an audible click of the comms.

Smiling to himself that Ianto was at least still willing to flirt with him despite avoiding being alone with him for several weeks, Jack turned back to his team and the unfortunate murder victim lying in the rain.

***TW TW TW***

"I miss him," Ianto admitted. He sat on his usual stool in Lisa's room, holding her hand. She hadn't woken up yet, and he was taking advantage of the opportunity to talk more freely.

"And I don't mean the sex." Ianto glanced at her, making sure she was still asleep. "Well, that's not entirely true. I miss the sex. But more than that, I miss the closeness. There wasn't much, but there was a little, and it seemed to be growing. We'd talk, after, sometimes. Not about anything important, but just little things. Movies, music. He kept wanting me to dance with him to Glenn Miller. I kept telling him I hate dancing."

Ianto sighed. "It's strange. I'm doing it for you, to help you, but part of me feels like it's for me, too.

"I've been loosing you slowly over the past year. You're getting farther and farther away. You're becoming less yourself. It's almost like a part of you died back at the Battle. Being with him is helping me get over it."

He squeezed the small part of her hand he could without touching metal. "Do you know I've never spent the whole night with him? Sure, I've fallen asleep, and so has he, but one of us always leaves in the middle of the night. It's usually me. I get up to check on you, or go home for a change of clothes, and when I get back he's gone. Or I'll wake up to find him brooding on some roof somewhere."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "He's probably brooding on a roof right now. I haven't had sex with him in almost two weeks, and I've been avoiding all his advances. I just don't know what to think."

Lisa's eyes opened. He waited.

"It helps you to be with him?" she asked in her normal voice.

"I think so." Ianto paused.

"Like I've said before: keep doing it if it feels right. I know you love me. And even if you start to love him, too, that doesn't mean you love me any less."

"I don't love him," Ianto declared. "He's not the kind of man you can love."

"But you like him. You respect him. You want him on our side."

"Yeah."

"So go back to him. We can figure the rest out once I'm better."

"If you say so, darling." Ianto's PDA beeped and he glanced at it. "That'll be lunch. I've got to go."

"I love you," Lisa said softly.

"I love you, too." Ianto kissed her lips gently and left the room, locking the door behind him.

***TW TW TW***

"So, rent boy, been buggered yet today?" Owen asked when Ianto brought lunch to the conference room. Jack, across the room, started to stand, but Ianto reacted first, grabbing Owen by the collar and shoving him bodily against the wall, cracking his head against the glass.

"If you ever speak to me like that again, Owen Harper, I will tell everyone in this room exactly what type and how much pornography you watch while on duty, and it will be my intense pleasure to do so," Ianto snarled, his face mere centimeters from Owen's.

"Relax, what's a little fun between friends?" Owen demanded, attempting to bluster his way out of the situation.

"Since I have been employed here, you have averaged seventeen hours a week. Your current favorite is —"

"All right, all right, no need to get personal! Sorry. Shag the boss as much as you want. I don't give a fuck. I'll never mention it again."

"gaysexfest dot com," Ianto finished, releasing Owen and standing back. He straightened his jacket and tie. "I wondered how you could comment on technique. Jealous that I got to him first, Owen? Or is it me you're after? Because I can guarantee that you and me will _never_ happen."

"Fuck you, Jones," Owen shouted.

Ianto leaned in again. "I'll let you in on a little secret —"

"Gentlemen," Jack interrupted, clapping his hands together to get their attention.

"And you!" Ianto yelled, turning to Jack and pointing at him from across the room. "If you think something like that's ever happening again, you're off your fucking head!" Ianto stormed out of the conference room, ignoring the shout from Jack to come back and the two women clapping and laughing at Owen's expense.

***TW TW TW***

Ianto waited a full hour after everyone left before he sought out Jack. Jack wasn't in his office. His coat wasn't on the coatrack, nor was the bottle of whiskey in its usual place by Jack's desk. Ianto straightened the mess of paperwork and sighed. He wondered where Jack was brooding tonight. Logging into the system, he pressed a few buttons and found Jack on the roof of the Millennium Center. With another sigh, he went for his own coat.

"You'll catch your death out here," Ianto said as he settled into a sitting position next to Jack.

"Doesn't matter," Jack replied. He took a swig from the nearly empty bottle.

Ianto reached over and took the bottle from him. He took a swallow and shuddered. "Haven't had straight whiskey in a long time," he commented. He took another swallow and handed the bottle back.

"What are you doing here?" Jack asked after a long moment.

"Something I should've done a while ago."

"So it's over?"

"What's over?"

"Us."

"Us?" Ianto blinked in confusion and turned to look at Jack, who was staring into space with a sad look on his face. He sighed and finished the bottle of whiskey in a large swallow, setting it aside.

"You know, what we've been doing. Like you said this afternoon. I should've figured it out sooner. It's been weeks."

"For a smart man, Jack Harkness, you're really an idiot sometimes," Ianto said with a laugh. He straddled Jack's lap and leaned in to kiss him, thrusting his tongue into Jack's mouth. Startled, Jack fell back, landing on his back, pulling Ianto down on top of him.

"That was a show for the others," Ianto explained. "You think I'm giving up the best sex of my life because a bunch of wankers like Owen and Suzie can't stop tormenting me?"

Comprehension dawned and Jack grinned. "You mean it? I thought, because you've been avoiding me —"

"Just needed to think, do some research."

"Research?"

"I have a list of CCTV blindspots around the Hub. We'll have to fix some of them, but I thought we could leave a few, in certain key locations…"

"God, you're brilliant! Come here," Jack murmured, pulling Ianto closer for another kiss. He carded his fingers through Ianto's hair. "Think we can make it back to the Hub?"

"Sorry, we're gonna have to do it here," Ianto mumbled against Jack's lips as he fumbled for his belt.

"Too cold up here," Jack complained, even as Ianto shoved his own pants down and produced a tube of lube from his pocket. He began preparing himself for Jack.

"Then just free up what we need, and we can get naked when we get back there. I need you now, Jack. It's been too long."

Jack didn't need asking twice, and soon Ianto was settling on his erection. Jack took hold of Ianto and stroked him roughly. Ianto moaned and leaned back against Jack's raised knees, coming hard, splattering Jack's stomach and chest.

With a hand behind Ianto's head to protect him from hitting the stone roof, Jack rolled them so that he was on top without slipping out of Ianto. He found Ianto's lips with his own and kissed him hard, pounding into him at the same time.

"Jack! Too hard," Ianto protested, groaning at the pressure of Jack's thrusts, grabbing hold of Jack's coat to try to slow him down.

"Just — a few — more —" Jack managed, putting all his effort into it, burying himself as far as he could go. With a yell, he orgasmed.

They lay panting in each other's arms until the wind off the water brought goosebumps to their skin.

"Back to the Hub?" Jack asked.

"Yep. Gotta get you out of those clothes. I think I need to find a new dry cleaner's again."

Jack laughed. "How many is it, now? Three?"

"Yeah."

"Just pay them extra. I've found that big tips tend to shut people up."

"I'll make up an alias, just in case." Ianto smiled and kissed Jack lightly. "Come on, sir, let's get you taken care of."

"We'll have to take care of you, too, you know," Jack said, indicating the stain on Ianto's clothes from where they had been pressed together. Ianto groaned.

Grinning, Jack stood and helped Ianto to his feet. "Best sex of your life, huh?"

"Don't let it go to your head," Ianto replied, letting Jack drag him across the roof at a quick jog.

***TW TW TW***

Ianto watched from inside the Hub as Jack came back to life from Suzie's bullet. The nausea in his stomach settled slightly, only to come back when Suzie shot herself.

"_Ianto? I need you up here!" _Jack's voice on the comms startled him, though he should have expected the summons.

"On my way, sir," he answered, already grabbing a blanket from the sofa for Gwen Cooper, who was shivering on the pavement next to the body of his dead colleague.

"_I'm going to offer her Suzie's job," _Jack said softly. "_I think she'd be a good addition to the team." _

"If you say so," Ianto muttered, not liking the idea but feeling like he was in no position to offer his opinion, given that he and Jack had only just mended whatever their relationship was. "She'd have the usual two weeks to prepare?"

"_I assume so. We can figure out the details in the morning. If she says yes." _

"Do you want me to call the others in to help with Suzie?"

"_Yes. They deserve to be a part of this. She was their friend and colleague." _

"Then maybe I should take the time to alter the CCTV footage? Don't want them finding out you can't die."

"_Yeah, that would be great." _

"Should I stay, after?"

"_Please." _


	16. Chapter 16: Day One

A/N: Usual disclaimers about TW not being mine. Enjoy and please R & R.

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 16: Day One**

"So you'll be on probation for the first three months," Ianto said as he handed Gwen copies of the employment contract she just signed. "Here's your security card. You'll have limited access to the Archives, Armory, and some of the more sensitive databases until your training is complete. Your first day will be Monday. We have a staff meeting scheduled for 10, but Jack wants you here by 8:30 to go over some things beforehand."

Gwen smiled and thanked him. "You're Welsh," she commented.

"From Newport," Ianto answered.

"You like it here? Torchwood?" She emphasized the name as if testing it out.

"Yes."

"You do the filing and stuff? Hand out the coffee?"

"That's part of my job."

"I did that at the station. I didn't like it much. Don't you get bored?"

"Not at Torchwood. You'll find that even days that seem boring tend to be more exciting than at another job."

"So, um, how long have you been here?"

"I've been with Torchwood Three for about six months. I was at London for two years before that."

"What about Jack? The others?"

"Tosh came on board in 2003, and Owen in 2004. Jack's been leader here since 2000."

"What's this for, again?" she asked, indicating the security card. Ianto resisted the urge to roll his eyes and explained. "You think I can see Jack before I go?" she asked when he'd finished. The look on her face was unmistakably a combination of infatuation and hero worship and it made Ianto slightly sick to see.

Ianto forced a smile onto his face, checked his watch, and pressed the button on his commlink. "Sir, are you done with your UNIT conference? Gwen wants to stop by."

"_Send her over. Mace was being his usual self. I'd love one of your massages, but with Gwen around, that's not likely, is it? Can you make some coffee instead? I need it after this call." _

"Of course," Ianto said, his smile becoming softer, glad Jack was in a good enough mood to flirt. That wasn't usually the case after an hour-long call with UNIT. "Perhaps I can help you with that other matter once Gwen has left?"

"_You're a life-saver!" _

***TW TW TW***

"Ianto?" Jack asked softly. "Are you awake?"

"Mmmm," Ianto answered, nuzzling closer into Jack's neck. Jack lay on his back on his small cot, one arm draped around Ianto, his hand absently stroking up and down Ianto's back.

"Tell me about the Battle?"

Ianto, half asleep and curled against Jack's chest, jerked up. Fully awake, he stared at Jack with a mixture of fear and anger.

"Only if you want to," Jack amended. "It's just, we've never talked about it, and I —" He paused, as if debating with himself what to say. "I mentioned it when I was giving Gwen retcon the other night. It got me thinking about it. I lost someone that day, too."

"You did?" Ianto asked. "At the Battle itself?"

"Her name was Rose," Jack said. "Rose Tyler."

"I'm sorry. I saw her name on the lists of the dead," Ianto murmured, settling back down against Jack. "I never knew who she was. She wasn't Torchwood."

"She was a Companion of the Doctor."

"Like you."

"Like me," Jack repeated, clearly lost in thought. He started. "Wait. What?"

Ianto chuckled. "Sir, you were stuff of legends in London. It was a very poorly kept secret that you'd traveled with the Doctor. Part of why Yvonne put up with you was because of that. She wanted to find a way to use your relationship to get to him."

"What other rumors were there about me?" Jack demanded.

"That you'd shag anyone. Some people said aliens weren't exempt." Ianto paused.

"Well, I won't shag Owen," Jack stated.

"No, sir, you won't. I'd have to put my foot down about that."

"Oh really?" Jack asked, the flirtatiousness back in his voice. "What, exactly, would you do?"

"I'm not sure yet, sir. You'd have to pick a safeword."

"Ianto Jones, I think you might have a kinky side you haven't been sharing with me."

"Wouldn't want you to get bored, sir. I can hardly compete with aliens," Ianto replied dryly.

"I haven't been bored yet," Jack said, leaning over to kiss Ianto deeply. "And for the record, I don't want you bored either."

"No? Don't want me wandering off? I thought you didn't believe in fidelity."

"I'm not asking for fidelity. Just, tell me if there's someone else." He looked startled as Ianto's face drained of color. "Ianto? Is there someone else? I mean, that's ok. You don't have to worry —"

"Jack," Ianto whispered, stopping him. "I'm only having sex with you." He snuggled tighter against Jack, hiding his face in the hollow between Jack's neck and throat. He inhaled Jack's scent, gaining comfort in the smell. "I don't want anyone but you." Jack's arm tightened around Ianto.

"So what's wrong?"

"I saw how you looked at Gwen. I know you don't promise monogamy, and I'm ok with that, but it unsettled me."

Jack sighed loudly. "I'm not going to sleep with her, you know. She's in a committed relationship. I might flirt, but breaking up a relationship isn't worth it. Especially if it's just about sex."

"I don't think she's right for the team."

"No? Why?"

"You really want to know?"

"Of course."

"Even if part of it is jealousy?"

"Ianto, even if part of it is jealousy, you think things through. You analyze. You might feel that the jealousy is part of it, but you wouldn't say something like that just because of that feeling."

"You think so?"

"I know so, Ianto. You figured out Flat Holm within a month of being here. You did your research, came to me with questions before you made your conclusions, then thought through your response before you decided what you wanted to do. You don't do things based simply on emotional responses."

Ianto nodded in acknowledgment of Jack's assessment of him. "She feels things too deeply. We're a fucked up bunch of people, and she's not. She'll be too abrasive. We need someone in between. Fucked up but not that fucked up. You said she thinks we're not human enough, not connected enough to our emotions. We can't be. Not the way she is. We've all seen too many horrible things."

"So she's too naive?"

"That's part of it."

"What's the rest?"

"You're her romantic hero. But you can't live up to that. You're broken, too, like the rest of us."

"Broken?"

"I've heard your nightmares. I've woken you up from a few of them. It's not wrong to be broken. It's not bad. It just is, and she'll take a long time to be able to see that when you fall from the pedestal, which you will. Everyone does."

"Hmm. Didn't think of that."

"It's all right. We'll make due."

They lay in silence for a few minutes. "Do me a favor, Ianto," Jack asked.

"Hmm?"

"Stay the night," Jack whispered.

"Ok."

***TW TW TW***

Jack whimpered, thrashing against Ianto. Pulling himself from sleep, Ianto woke Jack, holding him close and murmuring soothing words in Welsh. Jack opened his eyes.

"Ianto?"

"You were having a nightmare," Ianto explained. "You ok now?"

"I was dreaming about the Battle," Jack whispered. "Must have been because we were talking about it earlier. I saw some of the video feeds as it was happening. I saw the Daleks and Cybermen trying to destroy each other in the hanger with the Sunglider. Goddess, the people were just stuck in between them. They didn't have a chance." Jack took a deep breath and allowed Ianto's hands on his back to calm him. "I've been in a lot of wars, Ianto, but that's the one that haunts me most often these days."

"Where were you when it was going on?"

"Yvonne put the Hub in full lockdown remotely as soon as she found out the Doctor was at the Tower. She knew I'd want to be there, but she couldn't allow a former Companion, especially me, access to him. It took Tosh eight hours to break the codes to get us out of here. Suzie and Owen weren't in yet, so I sent them to London."

Ianto nodded thoughtfully. "I recognized them. I saw them in the ruins."

"You didn't think to go to them?"

"Too busy trying to stay alive and keep away from UNIT and retcon, sir. Besides, they didn't exactly look like the Torchwood I was used to."

"Oh. Sorry, I forgot about that part. They were handing out retcon like candy that day."

"Not your fault. It's part of the standard protocols. You know, the ones you flaunt at every opportunity?"

"You mean like not shagging my employees?" Jack asked, kissing Ianto's neck.

"Exactly," Ianto answered, responding to Jack's sudden ardor by rolling them so that Jack was on top. "You've got to work on that one, sir."

"Well, if my employee is willing to break a few office regulations with me…"

"Honestly, never thought I'd be shagging the boss. Not in a million years."

"Well, I'm much prettier than Yvonne, don't you think?"

"Prettier? You'd prefer that to handsome?"

"No one in their right mind would call Yvonne handsome," Jack said with a laugh, reaching for the lube on the nightstand. "Besides, I'm a much better boss than she was, aren't I?"

"You do take employee morale seriously. I don't think my morale's ever been this high."

"Ianto Jones, get ready for new heights."

"Please, Jack, I need this."

"So do I, Ianto. So do I."

***TW TW TW***

Owen and Tosh stumbled into the Hub to find Ianto, dressed in one of his usual suits, making coffee. They had no idea he'd been naked in Jack's bed fifteen minutes ago.

"All right, kids," Jack said, leaving his office. "We've got a meteor. Should be simple. Owen, Tosh, get your kit. Ianto, text Gwen, we'll want her in on this. Monitor things from here, ok?" Ianto nodded.

"She's not supposed to start until tomorrow," Owen protested. "Are you sure you want an amateur with us for this?"

"This'll be a great way to show her how we work. Not much trouble she can get into with just a meteor. Unless it's really a ship of some kind, but even then, she'd have to do something stupid, wouldn't she? She's not the type."

Ianto passed around coffee in travel cups as the others left for the meteor.

***TW TW TW***

"Ninth — and last one," Tosh said, rolling her shoulders to get out the kinks. "What's his name?"

"Beaven Maddox," Ianto answered. "Twenty-seven, construction worker, married, two kids."

"Then why was he donating sperm?"

"Does it matter?"

"No, I suppose not. What should we do with him?"

Ianto paused as he considered. He looked at his clipboard. "It'll have to be something really gruesome. The only body I have left that even resembles him is three inches too short."

"You said construction worker? What about getting his legs chopped off and something large and heavy crushing the skull, turning it into pulp?"

"Sick, as always, Tosh."

"You love it," she said with a laugh. Ianto smiled in return.

"How's it going, kids?" Jack asked, appearing behind them as if by magic.

"I'm running out of bodies," Ianto answered, showing Jack his clipboard. "This was a bad one."

"Well, source some more from our usual supplier tomorrow. For now, go home. Owen left two hours ago. You have my permission to be two hours late tomorrow."

"Thanks, Jack," Tosh answered, closing down her computers.

"Ianto? Any chance of one last coffee before you go?" Jack wondered.

"Of course, sir. Your usual blend, or would you like something different?" Ianto replied instantly.

"Oh, surprise me! I like it when you surprise me."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Try to behave, sir," Ianto said with a flirtatious tone. He set down his clipboard and climbed the stairs to the coffee machine.

"Night Jack, night Ianto," Tosh said, hitting the button to open the cog door. _I'm glad they're back to flirting with each other, _she thought. _Things seem to run more smoothly when they do. _

She was halfway through the door when she realized she forgot a disk she needed so she dashed back through the cog door to her desk. The door closed behind her, the alarms cutting off as usual when it was fully closed. Movement above her caught her eye.

At the coffee machine, Jack sidled up to Ianto and whispered something, laying a hand on Ianto's hip. Ianto twitched away, tensing. Jack's voice floated down to Tosh, echoed and quiet.

"Come on, it'll be fun!"

Ianto shook his head, clearly not agreeing to whatever Jack proposed. Jack pouted, but accepted the coffee Ianto handed him. He leaned against the counter and sipped, his face expressing the near-orgasm quality of the coffee, as usual with his first taste. Opening his eyes, he saw Tosh.

"Tosh!" Jack exclaimed loudly. "Come here and tell Ianto he has to do what I say!"

Ianto jerked, turning sideways to see Tosh. He muttered something to Jack and quickly descended the stairs, grabbing his coat. He had to wait for the cog door to open, so Tosh grabbed what she came for and followed him.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I keep seeing things I'm not supposed to," she said, hoping Ianto would slow down just a little. He stopped short.

"Do you want to go grab a pint?" Ianto asked. "I think I could use one, and it's not good to drink alone, yeah?"

Tosh smiled brilliantly. "Yeah, let's go."

***TW TW TW***

"He just gets so lonely," Ianto confessed over his third beer, the chaser to his third shot of whiskey. "I hate seeing him like that. That's how it all started." Tosh nodded, not wanting to break into what Ianto was saying. "Did you know he lives at the Hub? I mean, he lives there!"

"It makes sense," she pointed out. "That way someone's always on call if there's a Rift alert."

"But why does it have to be him all the time? Can't we have a rota or something?"

"Well, we could suggest it, but does he have somewhere to go?"

"I don't know. He's a mystery." Ianto sighed loudly. "Did you see him today with Gwen? I wanted to punch him! The trademark Harkness special weapons training. It was practically pornographic the way he was rubbing against her. And she wasn't protesting at all!"

"He's like that with everyone, Ianto. I don't think you have anything to be worried about."

"I'm not worried," Ianto declared.

"He really likes you," Tosh persisted. Ianto snorted in disbelief. "No, I mean it. He goes out of his way to make up little tasks to have you around the main Hub so he can watch you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Like when that alien windstorm swept through the Hub the other day? He told us to let you do all the cleaning and reorganizing, and you were in the Archives while we were right there."

"It can't go anywhere," Ianto said softly. "He'll get bored. He'll decide he's in the mood for a woman and then I'll be dropped like a sack of coal."

"Have you noticed that he's only mentioned past boyfriends in the last month? I think he's settling down with men. I think you have a chance."

"Ever the optimist, Tosh."

"Someone has to be," she answered pertly. "So, it's really going on? You're still with him?"

Ianto shrugged and motioned to the bartender for another round of drinks.

"You know what I think?" Tosh asked, leaning closer to Ianto. "I think that Jack uses flirtation and outrageous stories to hide the fact that he _doesn't_ sleep around. Sure, he might have done it when he was younger, but I doubt he does it anymore."

Ianto swallowed his shot of whiskey before answering. "He told me that when we were first deciding to do something. Actually, he told me that my second week of work, before anything had even remotely happened."

"So, I think that means he likes you and isn't sleeping around."

"Well, he also said that he can't promise monogamy and didn't want me to get upset expecting it."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Do you want it?" Tosh asked after a few minutes of silence. "Monogamy?"

"I don't know. I want him. It seems like I'll take him any way I can have him. He just has that effect on me."

Tosh smiled. "You like him, too, then. You should tell him."

Ianto looked horrified. "Jack doesn't do feelings. I don't do feelings."

"Of course you do! Why else would you be so upset about him flirting with Gwen? And how do you know he doesn't do them?"

"I just know." Ianto paused. "I think we should call it a night." He stood up and swayed on his feet. He caught himself on the bar. "Maybe not. Can't drive like this."

"Stay at my place, then. I have a sofa," Tosh offered. "See if it makes him jealous. It might be an interesting test of what he thinks of you."

"Can't hurt, I suppose," Ianto said, dropping some notes on the counter to cover their drinks. He offered Tosh his arm and together they left the bar.


	17. Chapter 17: Ghost Machine

A/N: I dislike this episode, so this will be a very short chapter. Don't worry, though, Cyberwoman is coming up, and that'll have at least two parts.

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 17: Ghost Machine**

"What are the three rules of working at Torchwood?" Jack demanded angrily. "Anyone?" He glared at his team around the boardroom table. They shifted uncomfortably, not meeting his eyes. Owen crossed his arms over his chest and slunk lower in his chair, a scowl on his face. Gwen fiddled with the pen in her hands, staring blankly at the tabletop. Tosh, typing on her laptop, ignored Jack's rant, knowing it wasn't directed at her.

Just as the silence was becoming too oppressive, Ianto walked in with a tray full of coffee which he carefully distributed. "Ianto!" Jack snapped.

"Sir?"

"What are the three rules of working here?"

"Don't mess with the Rift, don't press buttons on an unidentified alien device, and follow the captain's orders," Ianto rattled off, setting the final coffee before Jack.

"Thank you," Jack said, lifting the coffee to his lips to take a sip. He moaned in pleasure at the taste. "Why don't we press buttons?"

"Because they may have any and all kinds of responses, including dangerous ones. For example, pressing a button might set off a bomb as easily as it turns on a hair dryer," Ianto explained. "Unknown tech has killed countless Torchwood people over the years, most recently when Canary Warf was destroyed."

Jack nodded and dismissed him. He turned back to his team. "Gwen!"

Gwen jumped in her seat, looking up with large, wide eyes.

"Gwen, you pressed a button on an unidentified piece of tech and that started this whole mess. Then you took it off the base without permission, and, yes, I know about that. Then you pressed the button on the other half of the device, again, without knowing what it would do. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Um, well, first of all, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it would do. And I'm still getting used to things here, so I'm still, you know, new?" She ended on a question, clearly hoping that Jack would accept her apology and move on.

"Not good enough," Jack declared. "Being new does not excuse you from being careless. You deliberately took it home with you, which you know is against the rules. And to press the button on the second one! What were you thinking?"

"I was curious, ok? I just wanted to see what it would do!"

Jack grunted. "Be curious as much as you want, but I will not have you endangering this team or yourself. You will not be allowed near new tech for two weeks, and all other use of tech will be supervised by either Tosh, Ianto or myself. Do you understand?"

"Why Ianto?" Gwen whined. "He's not even a field agent."

"Ianto is our Archivist and handles all of the tech on a regular basis. He knows how to store things properly and how to keep them from becoming dangerous to others."

"He also has a really good memory for details," Tosh added. "He remembers just about everything he's read about a particular item."

"Ok, ok, I get it," Gwen said. "No tech for two weeks."

Jack nodded and turned to Owen. "Owen, you went freelance and the death of Ed Morgan is the result. What do you have to say?"

"Fuck off, Harkness. He was a murderer. He killed that girl, and he deserved it." He tilted his chin defiantly at Jack. "I stand by what I did."

"Very well, you'll be mucking out the Weevil cells and those of our other guests for two weeks."

"But that's Teaboy's job!" Owen protested.

"Not for the next two weeks," Jack said firmly. "We don't go freelance here. We're a team, and we need to function as one. Think about that while you're down there. Ianto will give you the cleaning schedule." Jack finished his coffee with one large swallow. "Anything else, you know where to find me. Dismissed."

Jack stood and left the boardroom, heading in the direction of his office. Ianto met him halfway there with his coat, helping Jack into it.

"And where will Sir be brooding today?" Ianto asked in his butler voice, though his eyes gave away how much he was enjoying himself.

"My third favorite roof," Jack answered, grinning. "You can reach me on my cell if something comes up. Oh, and Owen's doing the mucking out for the next two weeks. Give him a schedule that includes at least two shifts a day."

Ianto's eyebrow twitched up. "Is that really necessary?"

"Yes. And I told Gwen she can only handle tech with you, Tosh or me. Don't let her near anything dangerous."

"Of course, sir," Ianto said.

"We still on for our 4 o'clock?" Jack asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Ianto smiled the way he only smiled for Jack. "Blindspot on level two of the Archives," he confirmed. "I'll be there."

"Good," Jack breathed.

"Off you go, sir," Ianto said loudly, brushing imaginary lint off Jack's coat as the others left the boardroom and made their way to their stations. "Wouldn't want you to be late." He gave Jack a gentle shove in the direction of the door.


	18. Chapter 18: Cyberwoman pt 1

A/N: Here is the first chapter in the Cyberwoman arc of my story. There are at least five parts, so I hope you all stay around and read them. It might seem AU... but is it? Is it really?

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 18: Cyberwoman, part 1**

The beeping of Lisa's life support machine woke Ianto from where he sat dozing on his usual stool. He looked over the readouts.

"I want to meet him," Lisa said into the silence.

"Excuse me?"

"I want to meet Jack. From everything you've said, we can trust him. It's been long enough."

"It's not that easy, Lisa," Ianto said, adjusting the IV drip and settling back on his stool. "We have no idea how he's going to react to seeing you. He might just see you as one of them."

"But he might see me as I am."

"If he sees you as you are, then what about your voice? Sometimes it's like you're not yourself."

"If I know he's coming, I can fight it. I can keep it together."

"Are you sure?"

"You trust him about everything but this. Why not this? I think it's time."

"I'm so scared of what he'll think. Of what he'll do. What if he overreacts and shoots me? Then you'll be all alone!"

"He won't shoot you. You told me before that he wants to help, that he offered." She paused. "And he likes you. He sleeps with you, for God's sake. He couldn't shoot you!"

"I want to tell him. But I'm scared."

"Just do it. Do it now. Once he sees me, once he talks to me, it'll be fine."

"You're really sure?" Ianto asked again.

"I'm sure. Go find him."


	19. Chapter 19: Cyberwoman pt 2

A/N: TW isn't mine. I just borrow it. Enjoy part 2 of Cyberwoman. Please R & R. :-)

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 19: Cyberwoman, Part 2**

"Jack? Can I have a minute?" Ianto asked, stepping into Jack's office and closing the door. Jack looked up from the papers on his desk.

"Everyone's gone, you know. You don't have to close the door," Jack said.

Ianto fidgeted and took a seat in the chair opposite Jack. "I need your advise, as a — friend — with more experience than me." He stumbled slightly over the word describing his relationship with Jack.

"Shoot."

Ianto cleared his throat. "My girlfriend, Lisa, she was Torchwood," he began softly, settling into the chair across from Jack. "She worked in HR, and had been there for a few years before I joined up."

Jack nodded, pushing aside the papers and clasping his hands in front of him, his eyes on Ianto.

"She's not really dead," Ianto blurted.

Jack nodded again, accepting the information without needing to comment on it.

"She's very sick. And I don't know what to do for her anymore."

"Is she in Cardiff or London?" Jack asked, and Ianto heard the concern in his voice.

"Cardiff," Ianto said softly.

"What sort of illness does she have? PTSD? Is she one of the people at Providence Park?"

"That's where it gets complicated. She was injured in the Battle."

"And you think Dr. Tanizaki can help her?" Jack sat back, regarding Ianto with an unreadable expression on his face.

"I think he can help her get better. No one else would have any idea what to do. But the thing is, he can come next week instead of November. And I wanted to get your help. I know I need it, and I've wanted to tell you, but it's so _hard_, and after what I've seen… what Torchwood is capable of… I needed to know I could trust you, and I think I do, but this whole thing is getting out of control and I'm scared. It's getting to be too much for me to do on my own, and you said I could trust you— "

"Where is she?"

"Sublevel five, northwest quadrant."

"The power fluctuations," Jack breathed, suddenly more alert. "A cybernetics specialist…" He'd made the connection. With the press of a button on Jack's wriststrap, the Hub went into full lockdown. Ianto found himself facing the barrel of Jack's gun.

"On your feet!" Jack shouted. "Hands behind your head." Ianto rushed to obey, not noticing the tears on his cheeks. Jack produced handcuffs and secured Ianto's hands behind him. "Keep talking," he hissed, pushing Ianto ahead of him out of the office.

"I love her, Jack. I would do anything for her. She's just sick. If we can get the implants out, she'll be fine! She's still Lisa. She's still herself."

Jack's phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket. "Tosh, I've got it under control... No, no need to come in. Ianto's here with me… No, we'll be fine. Small incursion, but we can handle it… No, do not call the others! If I haven't given the all-clear by noon, bring the big guns, otherwise, stay away. You understand? Good." He flipped the phone shut and replaced it in his pocket.

"Looks like we have a little under twelve hours to sort this, Ianto," Jack said. "I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but if there's a Cyberman in my basement, we'll have a bigger problem than you can even imagine."

"She's not a Cyberman! The conversion process was interrupted. She's still herself!"

"Those things are tricky bastards. They can say a lot of things to make you believe they're who they think you want them to be." Jack shoved Ianto down into a chair. "Wait here." Ianto watched in horror as Jack unlocked the armory and gathered several large weapons.

"Jack, please listen to me! She's still herself! She would never hurt anyone!"

Jack returned, a grim look on his face. He had replaced his Webley with an automatic machine gun. A plasma rifle was slung over one shoulder, a laser rifle over the other. Walking up to Ianto he reached under his coat to remove Ianto's gun from the holster, which he slipped into the waistband of his own pants, at his back. They stared at each other for a long time as tears streamed down Ianto's cheeks.

"Can I trust you enough to release your hands?" Jack asked soberly.

"She wouldn't do anything. She just wants to be better. I just want her to be better."

"I'm not asking about her. I'm asking about you. Can I trust you enough to release your hands? If the shit hits the fan, and she's not Lisa, will you be able to back me, or will you be a problem?"

"I—" Ianto shut his eyes tightly, squeezing them so hard it hurt. "I don't know," he finally said, his voice defeated, as if he'd already lost a battle. "I hope so."

"Then I can't let you go, yet."

"I understand."

Jack nodded and motioned for Ianto to rise. He frisked Ianto with brisk efficiency, removing his wallet, phone, keys, security card, and the small torch Ianto always carried, shoving it into an evidence bag he grabbed from Owen's desk. He reached into Ianto's trouser pockets, coming up with a few coins from the left pocket and a packet of lube in the right pocket. He raised an eyebrow in question.

"I always have it, just in case," Ianto whispered. "After that time in the Archives when neither of us had any…"

Jack pocketed the lube. "Lead the way, Mr. Jones, and pray to God you're right about her."

"You'll need my keys and security card," Ianto said. I keyed the door to only admit me."

Jack dumped out the evidence bag on Tosh's desk and picked up the requested items. "Anything else we need?"

"You're just going to meet her, right? It should be fine."

Gun held firmly, Jack grunted. Ianto struggled to gather his composure as he walked ahead of Jack towards the lower levels, his arms still cuffed behind his back.


	20. Chapter 20: Cyberwoman, pt, 3

A/N: Thank you for the reviews and encouragements to continue! It makes me so happy you like it enough to comment. :-) So, here's part three of the Cyberwoman episode. I've had a bit of inspiration, so it might be a little longer than five chapters. We'll see. Enjoy! (And, as always, TW isn't mine.)

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 20: Cyberwoman, Part 3**

Ianto walked ahead of Jack down the corridor to Lisa's room with a heavy heart. He knew that this was a make-it-or-break-it moment, and he wished fervently that Lisa would be able to be herself when Jack arrived. If she didn't, he suspected Jack would have to kill her. He wasn't sure where his loyalties were, if it came to that. Would he put himself in front of the bullets? Would he stand behind Jack and let him do it? There was no good answer. She was in so much pain that death might be a blessing, but he couldn't bear to think of a world without her in it.

At the door, Jack slid the keycard through the slot and punched in the code Ianto whispered. He unlocked the padlocks. Ianto took a deep breath and proceeded Jack inside.

"Lisa, darling? We're here. I brought Jack." He heard Jack's gasp behind him as Jack got a look at the room.

"Goddess," Jack breathed, the pain in his voice heartbreaking. Before Ianto could react, Jack shoved past him and went to Lisa's side, all three guns slipping from his shoulders and hands to land in a heap on the floor. His eyes scanned the room, noting the respirator and other life-support devices, the IV in her arm and the syringes of pain medication lined up waiting to be used. He saw the picture of Ianto with Lisa on the small table on the far side of the room, next to Ianto's chair and a coffee mug Ianto had forgotten to clean up.

Lisa opened her eyes.

"Lisa Hallet," he said softly, his fingers stroking her cheek.

"Captain Jack Harkness," she answered in the voice he remembered, though it was much weaker.

"I remember you. Goddess, what have they done to you?" He closed his eyes briefly, trying to get himself under control. "Are you in pain?"

"It's not that bad. Ianto gave me something a little while ago."

Jack jerked up, glancing in Ianto's direction. His eyes flashed with anger. Crossing the room in three long strides, he grabbed Ianto by the lapels of his suit jacket and slammed him against the wall. "What the fuck's wrong with you?" he shouted, shaking Ianto. "How long has she been here? What kind of a monster do you think I am that you couldn't tell me about this?" he demanded, his voice getting louder with each question.

"You know about Flat Holm! You know I don't kill unless I have to! Why the fuck didn't you say anything?"

"Jack —"

"I could've had Tanizaki here in 24 hours! Do you get that? 24 hours! I could've had him here as soon as you said something! Now she's had to wait. And look at this place! It's a dump! You couldn't've made it more comfortable? You couldn't've gotten her a blanket to keep her warm or a tv to watch when you're not here? What's wrong with you?"

Jack released Ianto in disgust. Ianto crumpled to the floor, sobbing. With his hands restrained behind his back, he couldn't even push himself into a sitting position again. Jack stared at him, breathing hard.

Lisa's voice was thin and reedy when she spoke, drawing their attention back to her. "Don't be angry with him, Captain," she said. "I asked him not to tell you. I didn't want him to get in trouble. We didn't know you well enough to trust you yet. Surely you can understand that?"

Jack sighed and looked from one to the other. "Is that true?" he asked Ianto.

"Yes, sir," Ianto said softly. He laid his head down on the floor, unable to do anything more. "You said six months was your time-range for trust. It was ours, too."

Jack knelt down in front of Ianto and helped him right himself. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped Ianto's face tenderly before producing the handcuff key and releasing his hands. "What am I going to do with you?" Jack wondered, a deep sadness in his voice. He glanced back at Lisa again.

"Go get one of Owen's spare med kits, a toolbox, and a blanket," Jack ordered, falling back into Captain mode. "Get some coffee, too. Oh, and another stool or chair. Go!" He pushed Ianto towards the door. Not daring to look back, Ianto left at a run.

Returning to Lisa's side, Jack met her gaze. "I'm so sorry," he said. "I'll need to examine you. May I touch you? Is there anywhere that hurts too much for me to touch?"

"It's all the same, usually," she answered. "Do what you need to do."

Jack nodded and ran his hands over her arms and legs, then moved to her abdomen. He had her tell him when she could feel the touch as he stroked different parts of exposed skin. He avoided erogenous zones out of respect, and she thanked him for it. He shrugged.

"Captain?" she asked when he settled down on the stool by her head, his examination over for the moment.

"Call me Jack."

"Jack, Ianto's told me about what goes on between you two. That you have sex. I want you to know it's ok with me."

Jack tilted his head as he regarded her. "He told you?"

"Well, it was my idea, originally. You see, when we were in London, before the Battle, you'd given me your card. Said to look you up if me and my boyfriend were in Cardiff."

"And now you're in Cardiff," Jack said softly. He took hold of her hand, stroking her fingers with his thumb.

"I wanted to tell you before he gets back. Because if you continue, it's ok with me. He said you don't break up couples. So I wanted to make sure you knew. It—" she broke off, grimacing in pain. "It's been good for him to have you. It's helped keep him grounded."

"You're a generous woman," Jack murmured. "I'll remember that."

When Ianto returned with the requested items, as well as a few Jack hadn't thought to ask for, Jack began asking questions about her condition. What she remembered of the conversion process, what she remembered before and afterwards. He glanced at the Bekaran scanner Ianto handed him and pressed a few buttons. Ianto unfolded a blanket over her and handed Jack a mug of coffee.

"I wish I could have some of that," Lisa said wistfully.

"Don't you worry, Lisa Hallet, between me and Ianto, we'll fix you right up," Jack said softly. He looked over his shoulder at Ianto. "Won't we?"

"Yes," Ianto answered, smiling for the first time all night. "Yes, we'll help you, darling." He hastened to Lisa's other side and took her hand. "Jack will help us. You'll see."

Jack stood. "I have research to do. Come find me when you're going home," he said to Ianto. Ianto nodded absently, his eyes on Lisa.


	21. Chapter 21: Cyberwoman pt 4

A/N: Thank you to all the reviews for the last chapter! I'm posting the next chapter extra quick because of it. Enjoy!

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 21: Cyberwoman, Part 4**

Many hours later, Jack lay on his bed, naked, his hands behind his head and a sheet covering his legs and hips. He'd reversed the lockdown, written up a fake incident report, and edited the CCTV footage so that Tosh wouldn't see him pointing a gun at Ianto. He'd texted Tosh to tell her everything was fine, and that if he wasn't around when she got in, he'd be sleeping and not to bother him.

_I must have failed Ianto in some big way for him not to trust me enough to tell me about Lisa for so long,_ he thought. _She's in so much pain. Think how much I could've done for her if I'd known. I could've at least made her more comfortable. _

_Tanizaki is due next week. I'll ask Ianto if he wants the visit moved up or not. I can pull rank, get him here faster, but is that the right thing to do? If nothing else, Tanizaki can tell us what kind of hope for recovery there is. If all he can do is get her off the respirator, that's a lot. _

_I have to be prepared for it not to work. I have to be prepared to kill her as a mercy. I know Ianto won't be able to do it. And I have to be prepared for her to be too far along in the conversion process to be salvageable. _

_She seems normal enough. Maybe Ianto's right and she hasn't been infected. She still has her emotions. Cybermen turn those off first, before they do anything else. So it's a good sign that she can talk about me and Ianto and what we've been doing. But I can't get lulled by that. It could be a trick to get me to drop my guard, using her memories to simulate emotions. _

_I have to be prepared for the worst. _

He sighed and rubbed his palm over his eyes.

_She wants us to continue sleeping together, huh? Did she tell him that, too? Will he do it? _

_Goddess, I hope he does…_

The sounds of Ianto moving above Jack startled him out of his thoughts. After a few minutes, Ianto called out for him.

"Down here," Jack answered. Ianto's feet appeared on the ladder from his office. Jack didn't bother pulling the sheet up to cover his chest. Ianto had seen him naked many times, and he didn't see a reason to bother with modesty. "Going home?" he asked.

Ianto turned to face Jack, betraying his nervousness in the jerkiness of the motion. "Not if I don't have to." Jack raised an eyebrow in question, prompting Ianto to continue. "I'll go if you tell me to, but I thought, maybe, we should talk."

Jack pursed his lips and nodded. He maneuvered himself into a sitting position and patted the bed beside him, making sure there was enough space for Ianto to sit without touching him if that's what he wanted. Ianto took off his suit jacket and hung it over the back of a chair, undoing his tie and laying it over the jacket. He sat so that his thigh was pressing against Jack's. He took off his cufflinks and put them on Jack's night table and toed off his shoes.

"Mind if we lie down?" Ianto asked. It took a minute for them to find a comfortable position on the small bed, but they did, with Ianto curled against and half on top of Jack. He took a deep breath and inhaled Jack's unique scent, finally relaxing for the first time in hours.

"It's been an emotional day," Jack said into the silence.

"Understatement, sir," Ianto replied, chuckling.

"We're in bed, Ianto, call me Jack for God's sake!" He paused significantly. "Unless we're doing a scene of some kind. Then you can call me sir all you like." He leered at Ianto shamelessly.

"Jack," Ianto whispered.

"Ianto."

"I feel so stupid for not telling you. There were so many times when I was going to do it, but then it never seemed right. Remember that day? The day in your office when we jerked each other off together for the first time? I almost told you then."

Jack considered what Ianto said. "But then I got carried away and you left so quickly and we didn't talk for a few days," he said, remembering. "You were going to tell me then? We'd only known each other for a month."

"I know. And I kept thinking about it. I kept wanting to tell you. The more I knew you, the more I wanted to tell you. The more I felt conflicted. But there never seemed a good time, and I was scared."

"Scared?"

"I thought you'd shoot me, or shoot her. You know, do the usual Torchwood "_shoot first, ask questions later"_ thing."

"You had to get to know me."

"I had to learn that you really weren't like them. And last month, in the SUV, I was so startled by you coming back, and that you knew about Tanizaki. I panicked. I lost the opportunity. I thought it was just that you healed really fast."

"So what made you tell me tonight?"

"Lisa wanted to meet you."

"She's a strong woman."

"Yeah," Ianto agreed.

"How much of what's happened between us was a deception to get me to drop my guard?"

Ianto sucked in a breath at the directness of Jack's question. "At the beginning, before I met you, when all I had to go on were rumors, I was going to flirt with you to get the job if you didn't hire me for my skills," he admitted. "I don't know if I'd have gone so far as to sleep with you. But then I met you. Then we caught Myfanwy and I was attracted to you. If Lisa wasn't in the picture, if it wasn't so sudden, I might've kissed you right then."

"If you had kissed me then, you'd have gotten a quick shag and a nice dose of retcon," Jack said. Ianto shuddered in his arms.

"I couldn't imagine that. How could I forget being with you? It's impossible!"

"I appreciate the sentiment." They lay in silence for a minute. "When did you bring her to the Hub? Really?"

"The night you were out chasing the Navaree."

Jack closed his eyes and once again his voice was filled with pain. "That long ago?" Ianto nodded against his chest. "Where are you getting the morphine?"

"Fudging Owen's paperwork. He never checks it anyway. As long as there's a mostly-full drawer, he doesn't care."

"So he's signing off on buying it, I'm signing the budget requests, and you're using it for her?"

"Yeah."

"We have to get Tanizaki here. I don't want her addicted."

"I've been trying to monitor that. I can't always give it to her at the same time each day, anyway, what with our schedule upstairs. Besides, the implants make it go through her system faster than usual, but I don't give her more than is recommended, unless she's having a really bad day."

"Still, it's a long time to be on it."

"Yeah."

Silence stretched between them again.

"Would it be ok if I took off the rest of my clothes?" Ianto asked.

"Sure." Jack waited for Ianto to undress and crawl under the sheet before Jack spoke again. When he did, he sounded tentative and worried. "So this thing we've been doing…I've never — I've never forced you, or anything? You've never felt coerced, or like you couldn't say no?"

"No, Jack. Nothing like that, ever. I've wanted it all. I've loved it all."

Jack breathed a sigh of relief.

"I just want to sleep, though, now," Ianto added after a minute. "But maybe tomorrow, or the next day, I'll want more again."

Jack hugged him tighter against his body and kissed Ianto's forehead. "Whatever you want, Ianto. Just ask. Remember that."

_I want to protect him,_ Jack thought later, once Ianto had fallen asleep. _He did come to me in the end, and that matters a lot. God, what people do for love. It makes us all crazy. It makes us all fools. _

_Love, huh? I told myself I'd never do it again, and look at me: trusting this man with my secrets, wanting to change the world so he can have his girlfriend back… knowing it's probably going to end between us when she's healthy again and not caring because it means I'll still have him for the next little while… because it means he'll be happy, even if it's not with me… Like the Doctor and Rose… I was never the one they really wanted, much as I might have tried to convince myself otherwise…_

_The Doctor changed me. He made me care about others again when all I cared about was the next credit, the next con. And, yes, I care about Ianto. I care about him, and his Lisa, and damn it but it'll hurt to lose him. _

_I'm such a fool. Such a crazy fool. _


	22. Chapter 22: Cyberwoman, pt 5

****A/N: Torchwood isn't mine. Enjoy!

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 22: Cyberwoman, part 5**

Jack woke from a deep sleep to feel Ianto stroking his skin and kissing his neck. He groaned and pulled Ianto closer, lifting his face so they could kiss.

"Mmm, Ianto," he murmured softly. "What a nice way to wake up."

"Jack," Ianto answered. "Jack," he repeated, kissing Jack harder, his hands moving with more purpose. He cupped Jack's ass, pulling him closer, making his need known. "I want to be inside you."

"Yesss," Jack hissed, groaning as Ianto bit his earlobe. Suddenly they heard sounds upstairs. They both froze. "Did you close the hatch?" Ianto nodded silently, too busy nibbling on Jack's shoulder to respond in words. His hands drifted to Jack's arousal.

Gwen's voice, muffled by the ceiling and closed hatch, distracted them. "Where's Jack?" They heard her rummaging in Jack's office. "_Jack?" _Her voice, amplified by the comm system, sounded loud to them both as it echoed from the speaker above their heads.

"Should never have put that up there," Jack groused. Ianto shushed him with another kiss, twining his fingers in Jack's hair.

"Remember that time I made you come just from reading a budget report over the comms from my office?" Ianto asked softly. "You liked it then."

Jack moaned loudly, recalling the incident. "Yeah, that was niiiice." He thrust his hips against Ianto. "It's those beautiful Welsh vowels." The comms crackled again.

"_Gwen, he's sleeping. Don't bother him,"_ Tosh said.

"_What do you mean, sleeping? He told me he doesn't sleep. And it's ten in the morning!"_

"_Of course he sleeps! You believed him?" _Tosh giggled before continuing. "_He was up until five dealing with an incursion in the Hub." _

"_Where's Ianto, then? I could murder a coffee." _

"_He was with Jack last night, but Jack sent him home. We shouldn't expect him until this afternoon." _

"_How come Jack didn't call us? I'd have come to help." _

"_Clearly, he didn't want you here,"_ Owen said, joining the conversation. "_He didn't call me, either. Just texted Tosh, and she texted me. I figure it was just a ruse to try to get into Teaboy's pants again." _

"_What? What do you mean?"_ Gwen sounded upset.

"_Forget it,"_ Tosh said. "_It's none of our business. The report said Ianto found a dangerous artifact in the Archives that he didn't recognize and set off a chain reaction in the three others that were linked to it that almost destroyed the Hub if Jack hadn't known how to change the timer so they could have more time to disarm them." _

"_So they weren't shagging?"_ Gwen asked, jealousy the defining emotion in her voice.

"_Nah,"_ Owen said. "_Just pulling your chain. Ianto's too stiff to get into that kind of thing anymore. You should have seen it, though, when we all found out. Ianto was on his knees—" _

"_That's enough, Owen!" _Tosh chided. "_You want Ianto to get back at you again? Because I'm sure he can." _

In the bunker, Ianto chuckled. Jack smiled, rolling them over so that he was on top. He pressed Ianto down into the mattress.

"That was great, you know. Really turned me on to see you stand up to him like that."

"I'll keep that in mind, sir," Ianto murmured, baring his neck for Jack's tongue and teeth.

"_Yeah, yeah," _Owen grumbled over the comms. "_Enough about that. Let's get back to work. Did they destroy those artifacts, or is there stuff for you to tinker with?" _

"_No, Jack said in his report that they melted all the parts down." _

"_Too bad," _Gwen said. "_I'd have liked to see it. It sounds exciting." _

"_Yeah, me too," _Tosh said wistfully. "_There wasn't even any CCTV footage because it was in a part of the basement where there's no cameras. Just footage of Ianto running up here to grab some stuff and then him going home while Jack went to his office." _

Gwen left Jack's office, shutting the door behind her, and the two men looked at each other and started laughing.

"Guess that's the end of this," Jack said, disappointed that their morning together was over. "You can go out the other way so they don't see us together."

Ianto growled low in his throat. "I think Tosh just gave us some time. I'm still having you."

"Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah," Ianto agreed, already shifting so he was between Jack's legs.


	23. Chapter 23: Cyberwoman, pt 6

A/N: Here is the next part of my Cyberwoman arc. There's two more chapters after this one, and then we get to Ianto's suspension. As always, the characters aren't mine. Please enjoy!

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 23: Cyberwoman, part 6**

Ianto practically moved into the Hub, spending as much time as possible with Lisa while trying to do his usual Torchwood tasks. He left half a dozen suits in Jack's closet and spent every night in Jack's bed.

Ianto was secretly pleased that Lisa managed to keep her regular voice whenever Jack was in the room with them, though the mechanical one often returned as soon as Jack left. Ianto sighed and told himself that he wasn't lying to Jack about her condition even as he felt like rats were eating away at his stomach whenever the robotic voice spoke. He abandoned the blanket Jack insisted upon, as she said it was too hot, and he needed to be able to take care of her, anyway.

Jack watched Ianto very closely. He noticed Ianto's distraction during the day, and supported him silently, remembering things he (Jack) had done in the past for the people he'd loved. At night, in bed, against his better judgment, Jack found himself opening his heart to Ianto. The casual fucking of their earliest couplings became something akin to love-making in the late hours of the night. Neither of them commented on it.

Jack told himself he wasn't falling in love, even as he knew it was happening. How could he not fall for Ianto, when Ianto loved Lisa so deeply it seeped into their own relationship and melted the ice Jack tried so hard to build around his heart? Jack was never very good at keeping people away, though he tried to convince himself otherwise. With the Doctor's example burned into his brain, he loved. He loved deeply and quickly, and it broke his heart over and over again when they left him, like Lucia had done, or died, like Martin, like Eve, like all the others since he found himself on Earth after the disaster that was Satellite Five.

The plan they decided upon was that Jack would distract the team with a night at the pub while Ianto and Tanizaki worked with Lisa, then send the team home and return to the Hub by himself. Once she was able to breathe on her own, and they had a realistic prognosis from Tanizaki, they would discuss telling the team about her and getting their input on helping her. They figured that between Owen, Tosh, and Tanizaki they would have an excellent group of people working for her restoration.

Jack and Ianto met Dr. Tanizaki at the airport six days after Jack met Lisa for the first time. Later that day, when Jack was out with the team, Ianto texted that everything was going fine and that Lisa was breathing on her own. Jack smiled widely and explained it away by telling a lewd story from his past as a Time Agent, editing out the pertinent details of his actual employment. A few minutes later Tosh received an alert on her PDA while they were at the bar indicating an alien ship in Britain's airspace. Jack surreptitiously texted Ianto to tell him they were on their way back and to get Lisa out of the autopsy bay.

Ianto arrived back upstairs from helping Lisa back to her room in time to see everyone working on identifying a UFO.

"Ianto?" Jack called. Ianto turned, trying to convey his usual blank expression rather than the nervousness of the day. "Would you work some coffee magic?" Jack pressed his hands together is a prayer-like fashion, knowing it would make Ianto laugh. Ianto smiled slightly, nodding. He climbed the stairs to the coffee machine. Before he could start brewing, the lights flickered.

_Loose cables? _Jack thought to himself, watching Ianto dash away from the main Hub. _Flimsy excuse, but I suppose it'll work. Still, Lisa's machine doesn't usually use so much power that it causes an internal power drain. I hope everything's ok with Tanizaki. _

"That's a UFO?" Gwen said, distracting him. They all crowded around Tosh's station.

"Only just," Owen muttered.

"Arkan leisure crawler," Jack commented. "First generation. Collector's item. Don't see many of those around these days. Tosh, send a polite message saying great to see them, but could they please get the hell out of our atmosphere, they're spooking the locals."

"Done," Tosh said, hitting send with a flourish.

"Shouldn't we be apprehending it? Investigating it?" Gwen asked.

"Oh please," Jack replied with a small snort. "You interrogate an Arkan you'll be in there for a month, and that's just the first question. They are _so boring_. Besides, they're mostly made of liquid. The cells would be a mess."

The power suddenly went out again, everyone watching as Mainframe rebooted. Alarms began sounding.

"Ianto, we've got another dose of darkness," Jack said into his wriststrap, sending his voice through the intercom. "Fine anything?" He waited a beat, then tried again. "Ianto, I need to hear those beautiful Welsh vowels."

"The power's draining into a storeroom at the bottom of the building," Tosh reported. "Looking for human heat signals."

"Two signals," Owen said, turning to look at Jack.

_There should be three signals! _Jack's brain screamed at him. _Something's gone wrong! Lisa's gone rogue. Ianto! _

"So assuming one's Ianto," Tosh said.

"Who's the other?" Gwen finished for her.

"I'm thinking we're under attack," Jack said calmly, falling into Captain mode and ruthlessly shutting down his worry about Ianto and Tanizaki. _Lisa must have been tricking us. She must be more Cyberman than we thought. We're all in danger. _"Security's been breached," he added unnecessarily. "We assume battle protocols."

"That's impossible!" Tosh shouted as they all sprang into action. "Nobody can get in without tripping seven different alarms!"

"Yeah, well, looks like our system needs to be upgraded," Jack said, swiping his keycard in the Armory door and handing out weapons.

"I'll head down, look for Ianto," Owen said, cocking his gun.

"I'll come with you," Gwen added.

"You ok with that?" Owen asked Jack pointedly. She was still new, Owen's voice said, and did Jack want someone untried in this kind of situation?

"Keep your comms open at all times. Any doubts, shoot first. Priority is finding Ianto." Jack's stomach twisted in fear, but he clamped it down. _Priority is Ianto. If Lisa's really gone rogue, if she's really a Cyberman, we're in a heap of trouble. _

Jack's anxiety skyrocketed when the comms lost their signal. _Ianto, please, please be one of those signals! _He caught himself babbling when Tosh found deleted CCTV footage. Clearly, Ianto hadn't had time to do the job properly.

When the comms came back online and Owen told them both about the cyberconversion unit, Jack made his decision. Owen hadn't mentioned Lisa. They hadn't found Tanizaki or Ianto. Gwen's voice, tinged with panic and fear, crackled over the comms.

"Jack, Code Zero Incursion! Repeat. Code Zero Incursion. We're under attack!"

_Lisa is dead. We have a Cyberman in our basement, _Jack said to himself. _Nothing to do but contain the risk. Ianto betrayed me. _


	24. Chapter 24: Cyberwoman, pt 7

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 24: Cyberwoman, part 7**

"Tosh, get everything from the weapons room, fast as you can," Jack ordered as he escorted Ianto back into the Hub at gunpoint. He lowered Owen to the ground from where he was carrying him on his shoulders. Gwen sidled up beside Jack as he forced Ianto to his knees.

"It's locked down. There's no manual override," Tosh protested.

"Just open the store!" He paused, his eyes going cold. "What have you done?!" Jack demanded, grabbing Ianto's hair as he pressed the barrel of the gun against Ianto's forehead. "What's going on here? What haven't you told me?" Owen sat up as Gwen and Tosh looked on in horror. Jack's eyes clouded red with anger. He struggled to keep his gun steady as he stared at his lover. _Former _lover.

"Jack, what are you doing?" Tosh shouted.

"Tosh! I gave you an order!" he responded, his eyes never leaving Ianto, who knelt in front of him with his hands above his head, a defiant look on his face. "Gwen, help her." No one moved.

"Did you know that thing was down there?" Owen asked, cocking his gun.

"I put her there," Ianto answered.

"You hid a Cyberman in Torchwood? And you didn't tell us?" Owen continued, pointing his gun at Ianto, even as Jack lowered his and holstered his. "What else are you keeping from us?"

"Like you care," Ianto spat. "I clean up your shit, no questions asked. And that's the way you like it. When was the last time you asked me anything about my life?" He paused as the tension built, no one willing to back down. "Her name's Lisa. She's my girlfriend."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Gwen asked. "We could have helped you."

"Torchwood exists to _destroy_ alien threats," Ianto reminded her calmly. "Why would I tell you about her?"

"Little loyalty, perhaps?" Owen muttered.

"My loyalty's to her," Ianto said. "She worked for Torchwood. She was caught up in battle. I owe it to Lisa — _we_ owe it to her to find a cure."

"Ianto," Jack said softly, trying to break the news gently, knowing even as the words left his mouth that Ianto wouldn't believe him, would never believe him, not after all that he had sacrificed to get her into the Hub, to get Tanizaki there, to get her off the respirator. "Ianto, you have to believe me. There is no cure. There never will be. Those who are converted stay that way. Your girlfriend will not be the exception."

"You can't know that. You can't be sure," Ianto protested.

"Look, you've gotta know something," Jack said, the heartache seeping into his words. "This is how things start. Small decisions that become mass slaughter. These creatures regain a foothold by exploiting human weakness. Then they take a base, rebuild their forces, and before you know it, the Cyber race is spreading out across the universe, erasing worlds, assimilating populations. All because of the tiny beginnings here." He stared at Ianto, willing him to understand. "We need to stop her. _Together_."

Ianto stood, shaking his head. "You're not listening to me! The conversion process was never completed. She's still human. We can still save her. She's not like that all the time She's still herself."

"We tried, Ianto. We tried and look at us! She already tried to kill Gwen. She killed Tanizaki. You think she's going to stop there? There's no turning back for her now."

"I'm not giving up on her," Ianto whispered. "I love her. Can you understand that, Jack? Haven't you ever loved anyone?"

Jack's lip curled in disgust. "You need to figure out who's side you're on here. Because if you don't know, you're not going to make it out of here alive." Jack turned away, his shoulders bunched in pain. _I loved you, _he thought. _I loved you, I trusted you, and look where it got me. I'm going to have to kill her, Ianto, and you're going to hate me, and I'm going to let you, because even though it's going to kill me to see it, having you alive and hating me is still better than you being dead. _

"Who's Tanizaki?" Gwen demanded, grabbing Jack's shoulder as he pushed past her. He ignored her, continued walking. "Jack! Who's Tanizaki?"

"A cybernetics specialist from Japan," Tosh said into the tense silence. "We've had our eye on his research since the fall of Torchwood One, to make sure he didn't have access to any Cyber technology that made it out of Canary Warf on accident." She looked between Ianto and Jack. "Is he here? Did you bring him here?"

"He's dead," Ianto supplied. "I snuck him into the Hub. He was supposed to help her. He got her off the respirator."

"And that death is on your conscious," Jack snarled, turning back to point a finger at Ianto. Before he could say any more, Lisa appeared. She looked around the main Hub, the Cyber technology loud as she examined the area.

"Let me talk to her," Ianto pleaded, turning away from them. "I can save her." Gwen protested, but Jack shushed her.

"Last chance, Ianto," Jack warned.

"The army will be rebuilt from here," Lisa declared. Everyone except Ianto cringed at the mechanical tone of her voice. Jack frowned at the implication. "This building is suitable."

"Who are you?" Jack asked.

"Human point two."

"No!" Ianto shouted. "Lisa —"

"So how come you look like human point one?" Jack asked, interrupting Ianto before he could say anything else.

"I do not understand," she said.

"Look at yourself. Go ahead," Jack encouraged.

"Remember, Lisa," Ianto added. "Remember who you are."

"The upgrade is incomplete," Lisa said as she caught sight of herself in a shiny surface.

"You're still human," Ianto said.

"I am — disgusting." Lisa paused. "I have — I am _wrong_."

"We can help you," Ianto promised.

"I must start again," Lisa declared. "Upgrade properly."

"For God's sake, have you heard yourself?" Ianto demanded. "Lisa, please. I brought you here to heal you. All these months, all this time. So we could be together."

"Together? Yes. Transplant my brain into your body. The two of us, together, fused. We will be one complete person. Then we can upgrade without interruption. Isn't that what love is?"

"No," Ianto answered softly, tears streaming unchecked down his face.

"Then we are not compatible," Lisa said, grabbing him by the neck and throwing him across the Hub.

"Ianto!" Jack screamed, lunging for him, all attempts at keeping his emotions in check evaporating in an instant of panic. Owen and Gwen held him back, dragging him towards the stairs.

"Code nine maneuvers, now!" Owen shouted. Tosh dashed for another stairway, running for the conference room. Jack struggled against Owen's grip.

"Owen, let me go!" he snarled. "I've got to get to him!"

"No, Jack. Ianto's lost. We have to take care of those of us who are alive now."

"No!" Jack shouted, struggling harder. "I'm not leaving him! Ianto! Ianto, wake up!"

"Run," Lisa taunted. "They always run."

"Jack…" Gwen managed, her flashlight landing on Lisa, who was advancing towards them. "Jack, I think we need to do something about this _right now_."

Reluctantly, Jack followed the others to the conference room. He stood with both hands on the conference table, staring at the tabletop in the flickering light of the broken TV at the far end of the room.

"She's still coming," Gwen reported.

"Now that's a surprise," Owen muttered sarcastically, his eyes on Jack.

"Can you be any less helpful?" she demanded angrily.

"Shut up, both of you," Jack demanded.

"Jack, we can't worry about Ianto," Tosh said. "We have to find a way out."

Jack's head snapped up as an idea popped into his head. He leaned against the conference table. "Ok, now this is a fight to the death. We can't think about what Ianto said. We do whatever's necessary to destroy her. That thing is not human, clear?"

They all agreed. He quickly gave Tosh instructions and sent her on her way. Gwen and Owen went to the autopsy bay while Jack took the other side of the Hub, distracting her from the others as best he could. He screamed in pain as electricity shot through him when she grabbed his shoulder. He collapsed, but recovered quickly, glad for once that he could protect his team with his curse of never dying for long. She put more power behind the second electrocution, energy screaming through him, burning his neurons.

_Ianto! _Jack thought, coming back for the second time. Pain still lanced through him, but he needed to remain focused. Ianto lay next to him, not breathing. As quietly as he could, Jack dragged Ianto out of the water and into his arms. He slapped Ianto's cheek. No response. He felt dead in his arms. Heavy. Uncompromising.

_No! Not him! Not Ianto, my Ianto. Goddess! God! Please, by all that's holy, please, help him! _Jack prayed, kissing Ianto with all the passion, all the love in him. _If I was meant to be cursed for eternity with a life that never ends, please, let him have some of that life. Let him live just a little bit longer. Please. I don't care if he'll never look at me again. I don't care that he'll never touch me again. Just, please, save him. _


	25. Chapter 25: Cyberwoman, Part 8

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 25: Cyberwoman, part 8**

Ianto stood in darkness. Blackness, really. He blinked, but nothing changed. No light, no color, nothing but unending black. Was he even standing? Did he have feet?No sound, either. No scents on the air. Was he breathing? Was there air around him?

He shuddered. _So this is death,_ he thought. _This is what Jack sees every time he dies._He tried to flex his fingers. Nothing. He couldn't feel them. He couldn't feel his body. _Do I even have a body anymore? _he asked himself.

He tried to remember what had happened to get him there. Everything was fuzzy, blurry. He remembered. _Lisa betrayed me. I betrayed Jack. I should've told him that she wasn't always herself. _

_Jack! _

_I can't die now, _he cried. _I can't leave him alone like this, to clean up after my shit. _

_I can't leave him alone. _

_Jack! _he called, willing his thoughts to spread out beyond himself. _Jack! I'm sorry! _

Light. Golden light burned into the darkness, hurting his eyes, making him flinch. A blond woman, with time in her eyes, crying, surrounded by a haze of gold, looked at him. Measured him. Found him wanting. Found him suitable.

_Bad Wolf. _The words popped into Ianto's mind even as he stared in wonder at her. She was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen.

_Bad Wolf, across time, across space. Everywhere and everywhen. Bad Wolf sees everything, all that has been, all that is, all that may yet be. The Child of Time, forever alone. Alone no longer. _

"_I bring life," _she whispered.

Ianto jerked awake to find himself in Jack's arms, Jack's lips pressed to his in a kiss that was anything but CPR. Their eyes locked. Jack shushed him, demanding quiet. The Hub's alarms blared in his ears and he looked around in confusion.

"What's _Bad Wolf?" _he whispered. Jack's eyes widened, but he just shook his head, shushing Ianto again. Ianto shook his head to clear it, the image of the golden woman already fading. In the distance, he heard Owen and Gwen screaming. _Lisa _screaming_. _

Ianto pushed away from Jack and ran towards her.


	26. Chapter 26: Ianto's Suspension, Intro

A/N: I've been getting such great reviews. Thank you!

In order to understand my universe, all you need to know about how things ended with the Cyberwoman plot is that Jack threatened to execute Ianto and Lisa, as he did in the show. He and Ianto said horrible things to each other, and Ianto *did* call Jack a monster. Jack alone killed Lisa. He called it a mercy killing. Ianto called it murder. I haven't written this part, and may not write it, but I wanted to move the story along for you, my wonderful readers. Enjoy!

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 26: Ianto's Suspension, Introduction**

To: Jones, Ianto

From: Harkness, Captain Jack

CC: Harper, Owen; Sato, Toshiko; Cooper, Gwen

NOTICE OF SUSPENSION

Mr. Jones has been placed on unpaid suspension from duty following an incident yesterday wherein Mr. Jones allowed a dangerous alien threat into Torchwood Three of his own volition and concealed it within the base without consulting the Director. The suspension will be completed at the discretion of the Director, with a minimum duration of two (2) weeks. The terms of the suspension follow:

1. Mr Jones will be confined to his place of residence with no contact to personal acquaintances, family, or Torchwood staff without the consent of the Director. A tracking bracelet has been placed on Mr Jones' right wrist to enforce the house-arrest. Should the Director deem it allowable, Mr. Jones may be permitted to attend to personal needs outside of his residence.

2. Mr. Jones will maintain his physical health and wellbeing and will submit to routine medical examinations as deemed necessary by the Director or the Medical Officer.

3. Mr. Jones will submit himself to questioning by the Director regarding the actions leading up to this suspension. If chemical inducements are required for the questioning, the Medical Officer will administer them and be present during the questioning to monitor Mr. Jones' reaction to the medication.

4. Mr. Jones will be banned from all Torchwood technology for the duration of his suspension, unless otherwise specified by the Director. All of his passcodes and security settings have been reset, as have those of the other Torchwood operatives with whom he has had contact, per the order of the Director.

5. Mr. Jones will understand that when he returns from his suspension he will be placed on disciplinary probation for not fewer than three (3) months. At that time, he will submit himself for an employee evaluation and review with the Director, to determine Mr. Jones' status an an active employee.

Signed: Captain Jack Harkness

***TW TW TW***

"Where's Gwen?" Jack demanded as he walked into the conference room at 9am the morning following the Cyberwoman Incident, as they were starting to call it. He put a tray of four take-away coffees in the middle of the table and rummaged in his pocket before tossing down a collection of sugars, creams, and artificial sweeteners.

"Not here," Owen said with a shrug.

"It _was_ a late night," Tosh added softly, reaching for a coffee.

"I call a meeting for nine, I expect everyone here," Jack snarled, producing his cell phone and calling Gwen. She didn't answer. "Gwen, it's Jack. I expect you here at the Hub right now, so you better be on the lift!" He hung up, flopping into his chair.

"She's still in her flat," Tosh reported, having pulled up some software on her PDA.

"Then we'll have the meeting without her," Jack said. "Ianto is suspended for at least two weeks. Here are the details." He handed out copies of the suspension report. "Owen, what can you report?"

"You're not retconning him?"

"No. If he'd done it for money, or power, then, yes, that's what I'd do. Or put a bullet in his head. But he did it for love, and it could have been a hell of a lot worse. He deserves a second chance. I'm willing to give him that, just as I did you two."

Jack met each of their eyes in turn, silently reminding them of where they had been before he had introduced Torchwood into their lives.

Owen took a sip of his coffee. "Ianto's a mess. Hasn't been eating, hasn't been drinking water. I suspect he's been living off coffee for a while. No traces of alcohol, drugs, or alien influence in his blood. I got him cleaned up yesterday and took him home. He's probably in shock, and we should monitor him closely over the next few days. He might be a suicide risk." Tosh gasped.

"He never unpacked his flat," Owen added. "It's piled high with boxes. No food in the fridge, either, so after I made sure he was asleep, I nipped out for some essentials."

"Thank you, Owen," Jack said softly. "You didn't have to do that."

"No, I didn't, but he's in a pretty sorry state, you know? Don't want him following my example."

"Anything else to add?"

"Just some technical stuff, like vitamin levels. It's all in my report."

Jack nodded. "Why do you think he's a suicide risk?"

"Hmm, could it be that his ex-boyfriend and teammates just killed his metal girlfriend after she tried to kill all of us?" Owen muttered. "He said yesterday that he was keeping going for her sake. Now she's gone. He has nothing left. He was desperate, and now he's pissed off the only people who could give him any sympathy, so he'll feel like he has no one." Owen finished his coffee. "You telling him to execute her probably didn't help."

Jack ran his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture they rarely saw from him. "I know. I was out of line. And I'll tell him that as soon as he cools down enough to hear it. I said a lot of things yesterday that I'm not proud of."

Tosh and Owen exchanged a surprised look.

"Jack?" Tosh asked softly, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Are you ok?"

He looked up at her with a strained smile on his lips. "I let my feelings get in the way of all of our safety. It won't happen again." He sat up straighter and shrugged off her hand, the Captain mask firmly back in place.

"Well, you can always talk to us, if you want," Tosh said hesitantly.

"Oi, don't go volunteering me to listen to him go on about feelings and shit. I got enough of an earful from Teaboy yesterday," Owen declared.

"Tosh, what's the damage to the Hub and how long will it take to put things to right?" Jack asked, ignoring Owen for the moment.

"Mainframe is fine. I ran a bunch of diagnostics this morning, and she's looking good. We'll need a lot of new equipment, monitors, etc, but the data is all intact. The building's structural integrity wasn't compromised. I'd say a week to get everything here and set up."

"Good. I'll want a report on possible security upgrades by tomorrow."

"Yes, Jack."

"Owen, I'll need you to sort cover stories for the pizza girl and Dr. Tanizaki. If it's possible, remove any Cyber implants from the body so we can use it to stage his death. He's a public enough figure that people will look for him. I've sent one of my contacts to Japan to search his house and lab to eliminate any physical evidence of his trip here, and Tosh, I'll need you to do the same with any computer data."

"What about, you know, _her_?" Tosh asked.

"She was presumed dead after the Battle. I'll incinerate the body and melt down any implants that don't burn."

"You want help with that?" Owen asked. Jack shook his head.

"I owe it to her to do it myself," Jack whispered. "She would want either Ianto or me to do it, and he's not available. Besides, it's too much like what I said last night. I'm not putting him through that."

"You knew about her before last night," Tosh said into the silence following Jack's words.

Jack sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Yes."

"And?" Owen demanded. "Were you going to tell us?"

"I found out last week. She'd been down there almost as long as Ianto's been with us. He —" Jack paused. "He didn't trust us, and when he did tell me, he lied."

"What did he lie about?"

"They put on a good show, the both of them. Pretending she was normal, that she hadn't been effected by the technology except for the implants. And I trusted that he was telling me the truth," Jack whispered. "I thought that he wouldn't lie to me, that we were close enough to forgo all that. Once Tanizaki had a prognosis, we were going to bring you two in to help."

Owen rolled his eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you, Harkness? Your dick is not the head of the HR department!"

Jack's head snapped up. "How dare you?" He growled.

"I'm just reminding you of the truth here," Owen said. "You hired him because he was offering himself to you on a silver platter, and he duped you. He got close to you the only way you'd let him, and he banked on the thought that if you were shagging him often enough, you'd look the other way about that monster he was hiding. And it worked." Owen smirked.

"No need to get all offended, Jack," he continued. "You're certainly not the first to fall from grace because of a pretty piece of arse."

"Owen, that's enough," Tosh protested.

"No, he's right," Jack said, pushing his usual charming mask into place. "I remember once, the king of Retragilia —" The cog doors rolled open, announcing Gwen's presence, interrupting Jack's story. "Meeting adjourned," Jack said quickly, moving quickly in the direction of Gwen.

"Gwen!" he shouted as he slammed the conference room door closed and descended the stairs to the main workstation level. "Where have you been?" he demanded.

"This'll be good," Owen muttered. Tosh smiled slightly.

"Entertaining," she added.

"Think they'll finally fuck, now that Teaboy's out of the picture for a while?" Owen asked.

"No," Tosh said firmly. "Look at how broken up Jack is about this thing with Ianto. He might go off to find a rebound shag somewhere, but it won't be with Gwen."

"Huh. Twenty pounds?" he asked.

"You really think he'll shag her, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, look at their body language."

"Listen to their words," Tosh replied.

"Fifty pounds? We have until Teaboy comes back."

"Fifty pounds," Tosh agreed.

"How dare you speak to me like that, Jack Harkness?" Gwen demanded, her shrill voice loud enough to penetrate the glass of the walls. "You keep telling me not to let my life slip, then, when I take a few extra hours in the morning to do just that, you yell at me. I don't appreciate this at all!"

Jack said something they couldn't hear.

"So what? Why do I need to know what's going on with him? He almost had me killed by that metal monster of a girlfriend. And you know what? I think he planned it. I think he's jealous of how close we're getting."

Jack looked completely flabbergasted. Gwen smiled and flounced away to her desk. Jack threw up his arms in frustration and disappeared into his office.

"Oh, my," Tosh said.

"Leave it to Gwen bloody Cooper to get Jack to shut up for a few minutes," Owen grumbled.


	27. Chapter 27: Ianto's Suspension: Week 1

A/N: This is the first part of Ianto's suspension following the Cyberwoman Incident. I'm sorry it took to long to post, but I wanted to make sure it fit my version of the characters. Please enjoy and review!

Warnings: M rating for this chapter. Mentions of non-con. Violence, sex.

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 27: Ianto's Suspension, Week 1**

Day 1:

Ianto woke with a pounding headache to find himself on the sofa in his flat, late afternoon sunlight streaming in the window. He wore the jeans and jumper he kept at the Hub for the occasional day when he wanted dress casually for a particularly dirty task. He was clean, smelling of the industrial soap of the Hub's showers, rather than Jack's seabreeze-scented bodywash that he'd gotten used to using when he stayed over. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair, starting in surprise to see a bracelet on his wrist. It had no seam where the metal was welded together, no lights or scratches or words, nothing but a smooth, silver surface that shimmered slightly in the light. A tracking bracelet, from the 44th century, his mind supplied. Archive Number 44.25.1713TB /5.

Memories came crashing down on him and he moaned loudly, tears streaming down his face.

.

_The Tower burned. The smell of charred flesh and overheated metal filled Ianto's nostrils as screams filled his ears. Human and alien voices mixed together as his world collapsed around him._

_"Help!"_

_"Delete. Delete."_

_"Dios mio, madre del christo, eschuchame! Ayudame!"_

_"Take aim! Fire! Fire at will!"_

_"Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!"_

_"I can't feel my —"_

_"Carol? Have you seen Carol?"_

_"You will be upgraded. You will be like us. You will be Cybermen."_

_"Oi, you bastards! Get the fuck off my planet!"_

_"Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!"_

_"Delete. Delete."_

_._

_Lisa, stuck in a conversion unit, screaming. Screaming as fire started eating away at the plastic sheeting around them. Screaming as he pulled her from the devise. Screaming as he dragged her through the suddenly deserted halls. Screaming as a wall fell down, coating them with dust. Screaming. Screaming._

_._

_Lisa's voice, calm in its robotic way. "This building is suitable. The army will be rebuilt from here."_

_._

_"Together, yes. Transplant my brain into your body…Isn't that what love is?"_

_._

_"We are not compatible."_

_._

_Jack, kissing him, bringing him back to life._

_._

_Screaming as Myfanwy attacked Lisa, thinking she was food because Jack fucking Harkness threw bar-b-que sauce on her in an attempt to get them to safety._

_._

_"You like to think you're a hero, but you're the biggest monster of them all."_

_Jack's look of — devastation, like his world was falling apart. Like he cared about what Ianto thought of him._

_._

_Threatening the team, his friends, Jack. Finding himself with Jack's gun against his head, again. Jack's voice, loud in his ear, full of anger, pain, betrayal._

_"You go back in there, you finish the job…Either you execute her, or I execute you both!"_

_._

_Screaming as Jack shot her through the head with bullet after bullet, first in the pizza girl's body, then in her own. He died with her._

_._

"Lisa," he cried. "Lisa! Oh God, what have you done? What have I done?" He sobbed for an hour without stopping, curled in the fetal position on the couch, rocking back and forth.

When he had cried himself out, he sat up again, the headache stronger than ever. He felt weak. His mouth was dry, his nose was stuffed up. He knew he looked like shit, but couldn't find the energy to care. On the coffee table was a single sheet of Torchwood stationary that was only used for the most serious or formal occasions.

_I'm suspended,_ Ianto thought, staring at the words. _Not retconned back to puberty. Not killed. What is Jack thinking? How am I supposed to go on after all this?_

At precisely 8pm Ianto's doorbell rang. Ianto ignored it. He'd been sitting on the floor staring at his suspension notice for hours, not moving, not thinking, trying as hard as he could not to remember. The doorbell rang again, twice, then a third time in quick succession. Whoever was at the door was clearly impatient. Ianto glanced in the direction of the entryway. _It can only be one person,_ he reasoned. _Lisa's murderer. Jack._

When Jack began pounding on the door, Ianto stood and walked over, anger coiling within him. Anger and shame and guilt and fear and lust and hate and something else he didn't want to think about all blurring together into a red haze that took away any chance at rational thought. He pulled the door open quickly and punched Jack in the face. Jack staggered back a few steps, then righted himself to look at Ianto with a stunned look on his face as he wiped blood from his cut lip with the back of his hand. The lip Ianto had broken the night before, also, with a similar punch. Before Jack could say anything, Ianto dragged him into the flat and slammed the door closed.

Lust and anger raged within him. Shoving Jack face-first against the closed door, Ianto stripped off Jack's coat and reached around to undo his belt and zipper. He found lube in Jack's pocket, exactly where he expected it to be and held the packet in his teeth as he lowered Jack's braces and shoved Jack's trousers and underwear down. He freed his own erection.

Jack grunted at the rough treatment, but he didn't protest. The smell of fish and chips filled the entryway as the bag of takeaway Ianto didn't notice fell from Jack's hand.

When Ianto finished, ridiculously quickly, in his opinion, Jack tripped him and returned the favor, though even seething with a rage Ianto could _feel_, he prepared Ianto better, not actually hurting him. He matched Ianto's intensity perfectly, giving Ianto back exactly what he'd taken from Jack. He left immediately afterwards, a gruff "I'll be back tomorrow" the only words spoken between them.

Ianto lay on the floor for fifteen minutes before he became too uncomfortable, aware of the liquid slowly sliding down his leg, the new tears on his cheeks, the headache returning in full force. He got on his knees and looked at the white plastic bag on the floor. Pulling it over, he noticed that there were two portions inside. Jack had intended to eat with him.

_Fuck!_ Ianto cursed silently to himself. _What have I done now?_

Day 2:

Jack arrived exactly at 8pm. He rang the doorbell a few times, then stood back from the door, not wanting to be punched again so soon. Ianto opened the door, revealing that he hadn't changed his clothes since the day before. Jack frowned, and waited.

"Are you coming in?" Ianto finally asked. His voice croaked alarmingly, probably from all the screaming and crying of the past 48 hours.

"I don't know," Jack replied evasively. "Are you going to hit me again?"

"I don't know. Not immediately."

Jack shrugged and stepped into the flat. He looked around. "Owen was right. You never unpacked."

"You've never been here before?" Ianto asked, momentarily surprised. "We shagged for six months!"

Jack shrugged. "You never invited me." He wandered into the kitchen and took out two containers of food. He opened the cabinets looking for plates, and, not finding any, gave up. All the cabinets and drawers were empty. Ianto hadn't even unpacked his kitchen, except for the coffee machine and an assortment of mugs on the counter.

Jack handed Ianto a plastic container and the plastic spoon that came with it, opening the other for himself.

"Eat," Jack ordered.

Before Jack could start eating, Ianto snatched the stew out of his hands and set it down on the breakfast bar in front of one of the two bar stools. He put his own food in front of the other stool. They ate in a tense, expectant silence.

Ianto cleared his throat. "So we're still shagging?" he asked nervously.

"Seems that way," Jack replied, not giving anything away.

"Ok, then," Ianto muttered. "I can deal with that, I think."

When they finished, Jack took the containers and put them in the sink, running water to let them soak.

Ianto took a deep breath in preparation, then started talking. "Um, so we should — I mean, um —"

"Come here," Jack interrupted, motioning Ianto to follow him to the living room as if he'd been in Ianto's flat many times before. _As if he owns the place,_ Ianto thought grumpily, shuffling his feet. They sat on opposite sides of the sofa, not touching.

"If we shag again like we did yesterday, there will have to be rules," Jack declared.

"Ooh-kaay," Ianto said, not understanding what Jack was getting at.

"Rule Number One: I don't rape. I don't play at rape. I don't role-play rape. And I don't think about rape. I don't care what's in your head, but if it ever bleeds into what we're doing, we're done."

"Done?" Ianto choked out. _Fuck, I'm not ready for that yet! Fucked up as it all is, he's all I've got left._

"Twenty-four hour cooling off period," Jack explained. Ianto let out a tense breath and nodded.

"It never occurred to me, honestly."

"Even yesterday?" Jack asked.

"I wanted to hurt you. I didn't want to force you. Makes my skin crawl, actually, even thinking of it." Ianto shuddered.

"It's not fun," Jack admitted, looking away.

"It happened to you?" Ianto breathed, shocked. "But you don't act like it!"

"I've had a long time to get over it," Jack replied. "It's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy."

Ianto scooted over on the sofa and laid a hand on Jack's, squeezing gently. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to do with you."

"Still, I'm sorry it happened to you. I wish you hadn't had to deal with it."

Jack pressed his lips together in a thin line. "Thanks." He grew silent, lost in his memories for a minute.

_Jack's been through more than I ever realized,_ Ianto thought. _What else is there? I know he's killed people. I know he's made difficult choices that he shouldn't have had to make, but what else? What makes up the darkness in him?_

"Are there other rules?" Ianto asked, trying to get the conversation back on track.

Jack shook himself and returned to the present. "Yeah. Rule Two: We both have safewords. I respect yours, and you respect mine. This is different than the games we've played before. We're both very angry, and we need to trust that we'll be able to stop ourselves if we need to."

"That sounds — appropriate," Ianto ventured.

"I've done this kind of thing before," Jack said. "Not often, and not with someone I was already — shagging." He stumbled slightly over the word. "I know what I'm talking about. I can get us through this, but you need to trust me. A tall order, I know, after what we've done to each other." Jack snorted. "It'll likely be a roller-coaster, emotionally."

Ianto huffed. "As if it isn't already?" Jack shrugged. "How are you thinking about it? And, um, what exactly is it we're going to be doing?"

"Violence and sex as therapy to rebuild trust between us. Rough sex. Hitting each other. Getting out the violence and anger in a more controlled way so it doesn't explode in our faces when there's no time to deal with it. Saying all the horrible things we need to say to each other. So we can work together again. So I can look at you without feeling the twenty things in my head and you can do the same. So we don't want to punch each other every second of the day."

"And you think this will make things better?" Ianto demanded incredulously.

"I'm not saying it's easy," Jack said, raising his hands in surrender.

"So we have to trust each other to do this, but we're doing it to rebuild trust?"

"Basically," Jack said with a small laugh.

"Huh," Ianto grunted. _It's already a roller-coaster,_ he thought. _It's already more complicated than I expected. Violence and sex? Sex and violence? Hitting the man I'm fucking because I hate him, but trusting him with my body when we fuck? In some ways, retcon or a bullet would be the easy way out._

"Rule Three," Jack continued, breaking into Ianto's thoughts. "Be as violent as you need to be with me. I can take a lot of pain, if I need to, and I'll do it for you, for what we had before all this went down. I'll stop you if it gets to be too much for me. Rule Four: —"

"For what we had before," Ianto repeated. "We really have to start over?"

"You lied to me. You lied to me for months, and you used me, manipulated me. You distracted me from yourself, from what you were hiding, with sex. I'm not ready to talk about it, but we'll have to before your suspension's over." Jack sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I cared about you, Ianto. Heck, I still care. That's why I'm willing to do this."

"I don't deserve a second chance after what I did," Ianto said softly.

"Everyone deserves a second chance," Jack replied instantly. "The Doctor taught me that. He gave me one, so I'm returning the favor to him by giving you one."

"I should thank him, if I ever meet him," Ianto said grimly.

"He'll show up in Cardiff at some point. He can refuel the TARDIS from the Rift."

"Oh. Didn't know that."

"No one but a Companion would know that."

"And yet you're telling me?"

"You've proven you can keep my secrets. That hasn't changed."

Ianto shrugged. "Back to the rules, then?"

"Rule Four: You promise to use your safeword if you need to. It gets to be too much, you use it. Physically _or_ emotionally. There's no shame in it. There's no weakness. You won't disappoint me. In fact, I'll respect you more that you know your limits." Jack took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I've hurt someone, doing this. I'm not proud of it. It wasn't on purpose, but it happened. They should've used their safeword, but I should've been paying better attention, too. I won't make that mistake again. Not with you.

"If we're doing anything involving restraints," Jack continued, "I'm going to be checking in with you. I don't know your limits for this kind of thing, and even though I'm furious with you, I'm not going to make what I've done worse by doing this wrong."

"We use the usual check in words, yeah? Green for go, yellow for wait a bit and red for stop?" Ianto asked. "Why would I need a safeword if we're doing that?"

"Your safeword is beyond red. It means I'm going to stop whatever we're doing and get you out of the restraints within thirty seconds. It means I'm going to hold you until you tell me to let go. It means we're going to be gentle the next time, no matter what."

Ianto swallowed nervously. "Jack, you're scaring me," he whispered.

"Good. Combining sex and violence is a difficult balance. You need to be prepared."

"But you've done it before? You can make it work?" Jack nodded. Ianto paused, searching Jack's eyes. "Will it help?"

"I think so. You haven't punched me yet today. It helped to get some of it out of your system yesterday."

"I guess." Ianto paused to think for a moment. "Would I get to restrain you?"

"No," Jack answered firmly. "You can hold me down, tell me not to move, things like that, but no restraints."

"Why not? It doesn't seem fair. You've let me handcuff you."

"As I said before, this is different from play. When we're through this, and back on good terms with each other, and can play safely, maybe."

"So you don't trust me that much?"

"That sums it up," Jack answered.

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Ianto digested what Jack said. He looked over at Jack.

"So what now?"

"What's your safeword?"

"Myfanwy."

Jack chuckled. "Mine's Gray."

"Like the color?"

"Maybe someday I'll tell you what it means," Jack murmured. "For now, I should go for the night. Think about what I've said. I'll be back tomorrow." He patted Ianto's knee and stood, stretching.

"You can't go yet," Ianto protested, also rising.

"No?"

"We haven't —"

"Not tonight, Ianto," Jack said, stepping forward to cup his cheek with one large hand. "It wouldn't be good to have sex right after this talk."

"But —"

"No. I mean it." With a swirl of coattails, Jack left the flat, leaving Ianto confused, angry, and definitely horny.

Day 3:

Ianto woke and decided it was time to take a shower. With the hot water lulling him into a better mood, he let himself think of Jack as a man, as his lover, not as the monster who'd killed his other lover. He remembered sitting on the ugly couch in the Hub, laughing and wrestling until they ended up naked, head to foot, sucking each other off. He remembered the heat in Jack's gaze that last time they shagged in Jack's bed, the night before Tanizaki arrived and everything went to shit. Jack had been especially tender, kissing and touching Ianto with a kind of reverence that almost scared him if it hadn't been so wonderful. Afterwards, as Ianto was falling asleep, Jack sighed into his hair and whispered _"ha'asha heh, Ianto." Whatever that meant,_ Ianto thought.

He thought about what Jack had said the day before, about not doing rape scenes, about having been raped in the past. Ianto shuddered. He thought of all the horrible things Jack had done to him, killing Lisa, ordering him to do it, everything. He let the anger rise in him, coil in his belly like an immanent orgasm. He could hurt Jack, he knew, if he were willing to do it. He could hurt Jack in a way that would - maybe - make up for what he did to Lisa.

Ianto tried to picture himself forcing Jack, tried to stroke himself hard, but his heart refused, and he ended up crying on the floor of the shower stall for even thinking about hurting Jack like that.

Ianto spent the day organizing his DVDs, trying to avoid thinking about Lisa, and Jack, and failing miserably at both tasks. His head swirled with regrets. _I've failed them both,_ he thought. _And all I want to do is beat the shit out of him for killing her. All I want it to fuck him into the ground. All I want is for him to hold me and forgive me and comfort me and tell me the pain will go away. How can I want all that at once? How can that be ok?_

When Jack arrived at 8pm, Ianto had seven separate piles of DVDs spread across the living room floor, each alphabetized. Jack raised his eyebrows but didn't comment. He handed Ianto the food he'd brought. They ate in silence, the tension building between them. When they'd finished, Jack asked about the piles of DVDs. Ianto's self-control snapped. He shoved Jack off the bar stool to the floor and kicked him hard in the ribs.

"What the fuck?" Jack protested, trying to sit up as he held his side. "That was uncalled for!"

"It's your fault I have to do it!" Ianto shouted, pulling Jack to his feet and shaking him. He slammed Jack against the counter. "It's your fault she's not here to tell me to just jumble them all together because we're going to be together and it doesn't matter which ones were hers and which were mine! It's your fault!" He threw Jack to the floor again and kicked him on the other side.

Jack curled in on himself, but didn't protest as Ianto continued to kick him, nor did he protest when Ianto shoved him into the floor and climbed on top of him.

"It's your fault!" Ianto chanted as he took Jack roughly. "It's all your fault!" Utterly spent, he let Jack have his turn.

"I'm sorry," Jack sobbed, over and over, in time with his thrusts as he moved in Ianto. His tears landed on Ianto's back. "I'm sorry." Ianto turned his head away, refusing to acknowledge him or his words.

Days 4 - 7:

Ianto spent the days staring into space and trying to unpack his boxes. _If all my secrets are revealed,_ he reasoned, _why not unpack?_ Jack arrived at 8pm. He gave Ianto the few things Ianto asked him to pick up for him, like fresh milk. They ate the takeaway Jack brought, then had rough sex. They rarely talked. They weren't naked when they had sex, and they didn't go to the bedroom. Jack always left for the Hub immediately after the sex. Ianto cried, wishing for more but ashamed of that desire. He didn't deserve more, after what he'd done, of that he was sure.


	28. Chapter 28: Ianto's Suspension, week 2

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 28: Ianto's Suspension, Week 2  
**

Day 8:

Owen arrived unannounced mid-afternoon with his med kit. Ianto let him in silently.

"Sit down and take your shirt off," Owen ordered as soon as he was in the living room.

"Hello to you, too, Owen," Ianto remarked.

"Shut up and let me do what I'm here for." Owen opened the kit and prepared to draw blood.

"And that is?"

"Making sure you're nice and healthy for the boss. He wants weekly check-ups while you're on suspension, just like if you were at work. Bugger likes to make my life miserable, having to come here to see you." Owen pulled on some latex gloves. "Shirt," he reminded Ianto.

Sighing in frustration, Ianto pulled his t-shirt off over his head, revealing pale skin and week-old bruises. Jack hadn't been hurting him nearly as much as he'd been hurting Jack, but Ianto still felt ashamed of the evidence in the light of Owen's clinical gaze. He'd sent Jack home the night before with a black eye and teeth marks on his shoulders. Owen grunted, examining the bruises, then quickly took a blood sample.

"Not so bad, Teaboy," Owen said, pulling off the gloves and tossing them into a biohazard container. He put the blood sample in a plastic bag. "Looks like you've been holding your own against him."

Ianto shifted uncomfortably. "Oh?"

"Jack comes in with new bruises every morning. Either you and he are having a row every night when he comes to check on you, or he deliberately gets into pub brawls."

"He lets me hit him," Ianto blurted.

"Yeah, yeah. Tell me another one," Owen muttered, disbelievingly.

"No, really. He lets me do it. Doesn't protest. Doesn't tell me to stop. He says it's therapeutic. To get it all out, you know." Ianto put his shirt back on. "He said it's a common enough therapy where he comes from."

"I might not be a psychiatrist, but that sounds fucked up to me."

"You think?"

"Yeah, and if it continues, I'm giving the both of you my famous 'say no to domestic violence' speech."

"It's not domestic violence," Ianto protested. "Ask him."

"I did. He said the same thing you did."

"See? It's therapy," Ianto said, trying to convince him.

"Look, mate, I may be a pratt most of the time, but this is serious. If he's hurting you…"

"Owen, we have safewords!" Ianto exclaimed, fed up. "I used mine the other night and he stopped. It spooked him. He wouldn't even talk to me until the next day other than to make sure I was ok. Think about it!"

"I try not to think about you two. You're a fucked up pair, that's for sure. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt this time."

"Thanks."

"You shagging him?"

"That's none of your business!"

"As your doctor, I need to know. If you're doing this 'beat each other senseless' therapy bullshit, I need to know if I need to check you for other things."

"Like rape?" Ianto asked harshly. "We don't do that."

Owen grunted acknowledgment. "You should've seen the look on his face when I brought it up. I swear he was going to kill me."

"You didn't?" Ianto asked, horrified. "Owen —"

"Yeah, yeah, I messed up. Didn't know a player like him'd have a history." Owen paused, his eyes widening as he realized what he'd just said. "Shit. I hope you knew that already?"

Ianto nodded silently. "I suppose there's few secrets between all of us anymore," he said with a resigned sigh.

"Gwen said something nasty about you yesterday and Jack ripped her a new one," Owen rushed to say, trying to make up for his slip. "Anyway, even while he was doing it, he seemed to be saying he should've done more for you and your girl, or something."

"He did more than I expected. He did more than I thought possible."

"Then maybe you should tell him that," Owen said, clicking his med kit closed. "Just so you know: Tosh figured out that he'd known about her before the rest of us. We forced the story out of him. Gwen wasn't there, and we don't intend to tell her. Lord knows Jack won't."

"Why not tell her? She'd probably love the story. A jar of laughs. A way for her to belittle me in front of him, make herself look better."

"Loyalty," Owen answered. "You're a part of Torchwood. She's not, yet. You were there at Canary Warf. We all respect you for that, even if you're a doormat most of the time."

"Thanks, I guess." Ianto paused. "I keep thanking you today."

"Well, don't get used to it. You come back to work, I'll be a right arsehole to you again."

Ianto's lips twitched. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

"You need me to send anything with Jack when he comes by tonight?" Owen asked, a hand on the doorframe.

"No, I'll be fine. I'm hoping to convince him to let me go to the market."

"Well, take care, mate. Tosh says hi."

"Say hi for me."

Ianto closed the front door behind Owen and leaned against it.

_So Jack feels guilty? Guilty about what, exactly? Killing Lisa? He __should_ _feel guilty about that. _

Ianto spent the rest of the day thinking about Jack. He looked in some leftover boxes and shoved Lisa's things under the bed or into the closet. As he cleaned, he waited for 8pm and the doorbell signaling that Jack had arrived.

Even though he was expecting it, the doorbell startled him. He opened the door to find a teenage boy with a pizza in his hands.

"You Mr. Jones?" the boy asked. Ianto nodded. "Here. There's a note, too." He reached in his pocket and handed Ianto a crumpled bit of paper along with the pizza. His duty done, he turned and left.

"_Rift alert in Swansea. Won't make it over tonight. J." _

Day 9:

Ianto waited all day for word from Jack, but none came. He wondered if he should start worrying. When 10pm rolled around and there was no sign of Jack and no sign of new food, Ianto carried the leftover pizza to the living room and sat on the couch. He stared at the food in his hand without seeing it, imagining all the things that could have happened to Jack that kept him from coming. One thought rose above all the others.

_Jack's left me. I failed him, and I betrayed him, and he's gone. _

_***TW TW TW***_

Jack let himself into Ianto's flat at quarter past two in the morning. He put his coat on a peg by the door and slipped out of his boots. Moving silently through the flat, he found Ianto on the couch in the living room, a half eaten slice of pizza still in his hand even as he slept. Jack sighed and took the pizza, settling on the couch next to Ianto. He made quick work of it. When he finished the food, he brushed a strand of hair off Ianto's ear and kissed it. Ianto smiled in his sleep, shifting to curl his arms around Jack.

_Still like me, huh? _Jack thought, settling back and resting his hand on Ianto's head. _How you can like me after what I had to do is beyond me. Still, that you smile and curl against me while you're sleeping is a good sign. Maybe we can salvage this after all. _

Day 10:

Ianto woke surrounded by Jack's familiar scent. He breathed in deeply, holding the scent for as long as he could before he let the air out of his lungs. He opened his eyes. He was lying with his head in Jack's lap, his arms around Jack's waist. Jack snored softly, his head thrown back against the top of the sofa. Ianto shifted, waking Jack.

"Morning, gorgeous. Sorry about yesterday," Jack murmured softly, running his fingers through Ianto's hair. "It turned out to be a lot bigger than we thought when we went out there."

"Things happen," Ianto muttered, closing his eyes and nuzzling Jack's crotch sleepily. Jack smiled, caressing Ianto's ear with his fingers. "Stop that. It tickles," Ianto protested.

Jack laughed outright and leaned over to blow air over Ianto's ear instead. "What about this?" he asked. "Or this?" He stroked the shell of Ianto's ear with his tongue before delving inside, licking and sucking as he explored. Ianto moaned.

"That's ok," Ianto affirmed. He began massaging Jack's cock through the fabric of his trousers, happy at how quickly he hardened.

Jack hummed his approval.

They both felt the vibrations of Jack's phone in his pocket a second before it started ringing. Jack fished it out.

"Harkness," he snapped. He listened for a moment. "No, Gwen, I'm not at the Hub, and no, I'm not going to leave where I am to come keep you company." He paused. "I told you last night not to come in before noon. Don't blame me because of your choice." Jack grunted. "I'll see you at noon." He snapped his phone shut.

"Jack?"

"It's nothing."

"Hmm, what I meant was, don't you think you need to get rid of all these layers if I'm going to blow you?"

"Yeah," Jack responded instantly. "Yeah, that's a great idea!" Ianto smiled at Jack's enthusiasm.

"You're still coming over tonight, though, right?"

"They say consistency is a hallmark of mental health," Jack replied.

"If you let me go to the market, I'll cook something," Ianto offered.

"Tell me what you need and I'll bring it," Jack countered.

Ianto pouted. "Never mind." He pushed himself into a sitting position, then stood and stretched. "I'll make you a coffee before you go."

"What about my blow job?" Jack demanded.

"You missed the opportunity. Do you want the coffee, or not?"

"Yes, please," Jack said, trying to convince Ianto to change his mind about the blow job by stroking himself. Ianto ignored him and made his way to the kitchen. Finally admitting the truth of the situation, Jack put himself back together and sauntered over to where Ianto was. He leaned against the counter.

"You died, didn't you?" Ianto asked when he handed Jack his coffee. Jack paused, the coffee cup halfway to his mouth.

"Twice. How could you tell?"

"Last time I saw you, you were covered in bruises. Now you look fresh and unharmed. You don't heal that fast from something small like that without dying."

"Very observant," Jack commented. He took a sip of coffee and moaned obscenely. "Good God, I've missed this!"

Ianto raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Go sit in the living room. I don't want you coming in my kitchen," he teased.

"No kitchen sex?" Jack asked, clearly disappointed.

"It's not hygienic."

"Oh, Ianto, you're missing out! You've never done it in a kitchen?"

"No, and I don't intend to start."

"What if I promise to catch everything?" Jack smiled flirtatiously. "Here: I'll give a demonstration." Jack dropped to his knees in front of Ianto and undid his zipper. "You'll like this. I promise." He winked up at Ianto, then took a sip of coffee, swallowed, and wrapped his mouth around Ianto's cock.

Ianto moaned obscenely, echoing Jack's earlier exclamation. "Fuck, Jack!" He hardened quickly. Every so often Jack would take another sip of coffee, leaving his mouth extra hot as he ministered to Ianto's pleasure. Clutching the counter to keep himself on his feet, Ianto was so caught up in the sensations that he couldn't think, couldn't remember why he'd ever thought the kitchen was a bad place for sex. He refilled Jack's mug and was rewarded with a particularly agile stroke of Jack's tongue that had him begging for more.

"My two favorite flavors in the whole world," Jack said, licking his lips and returning his attention to Ianto's cock. Ianto moaned, coming in spurts as Jack coaxed every last drop from him. He let his knees give out and sunk to the floor in a heap. Jack chuckled.

"I'll never think of coffee the same way again," Ianto muttered.

Jack crawled over and kissed Ianto gently. "Our little secret," he whispered against Ianto's skin. "Just think, when you're back at the Hub and Owen complains about my reactions to your coffee. I bet you'll blush."

"I'm blushing now," Ianto replied, his cheeks and ears becoming pink.

"And they'll have no idea why."

Ianto lunged for Jack, grabbing him by the back of the neck and shoving his tongue past Jack's lips. Jack growled low in his throat, grabbing Ianto in response. They grappled hungrily, nipping at each other's skin and biting harder as more skin was revealed. In the end, Jack won, topping Ianto enthusiastically. Ianto wasn't upset about it at all.

Days 11-14:

For three nights running, things seemed to be getting better between them. They talked more, teased each other, and enjoyed each other's company. They didn't hurt each other, and the sex was passionate, if frenzied and demanding. Ianto spent his days cleaning and re-organizing his flat, even though by that time it didn't need it. He found it comforting to do the mundane tasks. He didn't think about Lisa. He started to feel relaxed with Jack, and took to greeting him with a smile and a kiss at the front door.

Owen came by a second time to do a medical check-up. He didn't mention Jack, or Ianto's relationship with him, but he made note that most of Ianto's bruises and cuts were healed and no new ones had developed since the last check up.

"You seem to be doing ok," Owen said at the end. "You gonna be ready to be back at work soon?"

"We'll see what Jack says," Ianto replied. "He hasn't actually taken my statement yet."

Owen nodded thoughtfully and left.


	29. Chapter 29: Ianto's Suspension: Week 3

A/N: Welcome to Ianto's 3rd week of suspension. Things with Jack heat up. Be warned for a M rating for violence/adult themes. One more week after this one, so keep following and reviewing! Enjoy!

**Torchwood Files  
**

**Chapter 29: Ianto's Suspension: Week 3  
**

Day 15:

Ianto was surprised to see Tosh when he opened his door at 8pm. He'd decided that he needed to go outside and had spent the day planning ways to convince Jack to let him go, even just to the market or to get a haircut. The current plan included chocolate and homemade caramel.

"Hi," Tosh said hesitantly, raising a hand in greeting.

"Hi," Ianto answered. "Come in?" He motioned her to go past him into the flat. He led her to the kitchen where she gave him a bottle of wine along with dinner. "You're on Feed Ianto Duty tonight?" he asked, opening the bottle and pouring them each a glass. He closed his eyes as the memory of buying the glasses with Lisa washed over him.

"Jack said he had to see someone named Helen and wouldn't be able to come by tonight," Tosh answered. "Do you know who that is?"

Ianto shrugged and portioned out the food onto plates. "One of his many contacts around town, I assume." Together they carried the food and wine to the living room. "Did he decide to see her suddenly, or did it seem planned?"

"Suddenly. He just stormed out of his office about an hour ago, told me to come visit you in his place, and dashed off in one of the spare cars. He put Gwen and Owen on Rift duty, though I think Gwen's going to try to weasel her way out of it."

"He does seem to favor her, doesn't he?" Ianto asked sadly, sipping his wine to hide his eyes and the brief stab of jealousy he always felt when Gwen was mentioned. _At least he's not here because he's at Flat Holm, _Ianto thought. _Sounds like another Rift victim must've come through. He's not scheduled to go out there until Sunday. Wait. Today's Sunday. Next Sunday, then. _

Tosh put a hand on his arm. "It'll be ok," she said. "He favors all of us in different ways."

"She let an alien loose that killed nine people and got a slap on the wrist. Look at me, stuck in here for however long he seems to think it necessary. Tell me that's not fair."

"It's not. But this whole thing is his way of protecting you, too. You wouldn't want to be at the Hub with Owen ranting about whatever's got him upset right now, would you? Or with Gwen? She's been making eyes at Jack ever since you've been gone. It's kind of comical how Jack's constantly avoiding being alone with her."

"I certainly don't want to be around that."

"So, he's trying. He's not the best when it comes to relationships, you know."

"Relationships?"

Tosh leaned forward conspiratorially. "You know, you two." She made a vague hand gesture.

"We're not in a relationship!" Ianto exclaimed. "He killed my girlfriend! He threatened to kill me! Why on earth would I want to be in a relationship with him?"

Tosh paused, unsure of what to say. "Well —"

"Is that what he says?" Ianto demanded anxiously, grabbing her hands tightly. "That we're in a relationship?"

"Well, no, he doesn't say anything, actually. Just that you seem to be doing a little better."

"So why would you think we're in a relationship?"

"You were before," she said tentatively. "You were having sex, and the way you'd look at each other some times..." she trailed off.

"We weren't in a relationship. Why won't anyone believe that? That was just sex. It was me trying to manipulate him so I could help Lisa."

Tosh looked away, embarrassed, freeing her hands from his. "It was an awful lot of sex," she muttered. "Almost every day, wasn't it?"

"How would you know that?" Ianto's voice cracked.

"I wrote a program to find deleted CCTV footage after the incident. Mainframe gave me quite the list. They all had either Jack's or your security stamp on them."

"Oh." Ianto felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. He struggled to breathe for a moment.

"I only opened one… just to see what it was. I didn't mean to invade your privacy, or anything." She paused. "It was good sex, though, wasn't it? I mean, you seemed to be enjoying it. And on Gwen's desk!"

Ianto's cheeks flamed, remembering exactly how that night had gone and what the camera would've seen. "She was particularly bratty that day," he whispered. "And before you ask, we've never done it on yours. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Um, thanks."

"Well, now that all the embarrassing stuff's out of the way, want to watch a movie or something?" Ianto asked.

Day 16:

Jack arrived at 8pm, as usual, with a huge smile on his face. "Hey, gorgeous, did you miss me?" he asked. "Curry tonight!" He pressed a kiss to Ianto's lips.

Ianto grunted and took the curry, silently motioning Jack to follow him inside. He led Jack to the kitchen, his back stiff as he walked.

"Did I miss something?" Jack asked as he sat in his usual seat at the breakfast bar. "You seem upset."

"Why did you you kiss me?" Ianto countered.

"Um, because you've been kissing me when I get here lately," Jack said after a pause. Ianto raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Because I like kissing you and haven't seen you in two days?" he offered. Ianto crossed his arms over his chest. "What do you want me to say?"

"The truth!" Ianto shouted. "Why would you want to kiss me when all I've done is betray you? Why would you want to kiss me when fifteen days ago you wanted to kill me? Why?"

"Because we all make mistakes," Jack said, trying to keep his voice level. "Because I give people second chances. Because you did it for love and I respect that."

"So I almost destroyed the world and I get a second chance? Because I loved her?"

"Yes," Jack said firmly.

Ianto stared at him for a long moment. "The same way you gave Gwen a second chance after getting nine men killed with her sex gas debacle?"

"This has nothing to do with Gwen!"

Ianto turned away and dished out the curry, sliding a plate in front of Jack. "I really hate you sometimes," he said.

"I know," Jack answered.

"But I have all these other feelings, too."

"Yeah? Care to share?"

"Not at the moment."

Jack shrugged and took a bite of curry. "When do you think you'll be ready for the debriefing?"

"Why did you kiss me?" Ianto asked again. "You're evading the real reason."

Jack sighed and put down his fork. He turned to face Ianto. "Before I answer, let me ask one question." He paused, giving himself a minute to get his thoughts in order. "All that we did, all the times we slept together, held each other, woke each other up from nightmares and everything else. Was that just sex, or was there more to it for you?"

Jack's question stunned Ianto. _What's Jack's angle? What's he looking for? What answer can I give him? _He watched Jack's eyes, hoping for a clue. He couldn't see anything in those blue depths. Jack's mind and heart were closed off from him.

"Why ask that question? I used sex to manipulate you. We both know that," Ianto answered, his mind trying to keep up with the emotions swirling in his heart. _Does he want there to be something else? Should I tell him that there is, and that I can't deal with having feelings for the man who killed my girlfriend, but can't seem to stop myself from having them? But what would happen if I did that? What would I be opening myself up for? _

_He's not a man to love. I told Lisa that ages ago. He's too flighty, too volatile. He's too charming by half and I'd be constantly jealous of everyone. He's too — alone. He holds himself back from everyone, almost as if having feelings for people makes him weak. As if he's been burned too often. _

_Maybe that's it. He's been around for a long time. He's lost people. Too many, if I make my guess. So he'll keep himself from feeling anything for me, even if I were to admit that I feel for him. It's a losing match for me either way. He'll never let himself feel for me the kinds of things I'm capable of feeling for him, if I let myself. But I can't let myself. It's too soon. It's too much of a betrayal of Lisa. _

"It has to be asked, Ianto," Jack said softly. "In all the manipulation, in all the deception and lies and misdirections, was there something real? One kiss? One look? One _second_ when you did it because of you and me rather than for her?"

_I did it for her! _Ianto screamed in his head. _Everything. Every moment, every touch, for her. _

Something in him shifted, woke. _Not everything, _this new part whispered. _Sometime, lying in his arms, all you knew was him. All you knew was his skin, his taste, his voice, him. _

"No," Ianto whispered. _No, it wasn't like that! I don't want him like that! I didn't have those moments! I couldn't have betrayed Lisa like that! It can't have been like that! I won't let it be like that! _

Abruptly, Jack stood. Before Ianto realized what was happening, Jack had shrugged on his greatcoat and was opening the front door. Ianto slammed the door closed with a palm by Jack's head, trapping Jack in the entryway.

"Ianto," he growled, putting a hand on Ianto's arm, trying to lower it so he could leave. "Ianto, let me go."

"No! Why are you running?"

"It's nothing to do with you," Jack said, pushing harder.

"Bullshit!"

"Why do you even care?" Jack demanded.

"You haven't answered my question."

"So?"

"I need to know, Jack," Ianto pleaded.

"I don't think you do," Jack bit out angrily. He stomped on Ianto's foot. Ianto screamed, but managed to grab Jack's coattails and drag him back through the door.

"You. Are. Not. Leaving!" Ianto shouted, throwing Jack to the floor. "You want answers? Well answer me this: Why would I feel anything for you? Why would I _let_ myself feel anything for you? I'm in love with _her_! You were just a means to an end."

"A means to an end, huh?" Jack taunted, climbing to his feet and into a defensive crouch. "Then why are you so focused on a single kiss? Why so angry? Why won't you admit there was something between us?"

Ianto matched Jack's stance, glaring into his eyes. "You killed her! You killed her! You're a fucking murderer!" He swung a punch, missing Jack's face and glancing off his shoulder. Jack shook it off and retaliated, punching Ianto in the stomach and shoving him back towards the kitchen.

"You think I don't know that?" Jack demanded. "You think it doesn't keep me up at night? You think I don't have nightmares about it? I'm a human being, for God's sake!"

"You're a monster," Ianto hissed. "Killing her to get her out of the way. You just want me for yourself, don't you?" Ianto grabbed a plate of curry off the island and threw it at Jack. Jack held an arm up, and the plate shattered against it, sending curry and pottery shards everywhere. Ianto took the opportunity to punch Jack in the jaw.

"Yeah, who's the one who crawled into my bed every night?" Jack snarled. "Who's the one who called _my _name every time you came? Who's the one who kept coming back for more, huh? Day after day? You got the job by flirting, Ianto, you didn't need to sleep with me! You _threw_ yourself at me!"

"Fuck you!"

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Jack demanded. He lashed out with his arm, knocking their water glasses off the counter. "I bet you want it right now, don't you?"

"You have no idea what I want."

"No? 'Cause I think I do. You want my —" Jack broke off to dodge another punch and kicked over one of the bar stools.

"Like you were so upset to have a convenient fuck buddy?" Ianto muttered. "Is that where all your other assistants went? You fucked them all, then got rid of them? Convenient sex right at your fingertips until you were bored of them? Did you fuck the others, too? Did you fuck Suzie and Owen? Did you fuck Gwen?"

"I've never fucked Gwen!" Jack shouted at the top of his voice. "I will _never_ fuck Gwen! How many times do I have to tell you that? I. Will. Never. Fuck. Gwen."

"Why not? She won't put out?" Ianto taunted.

"Do you have any idea how many times she's thrown herself at me? How many times I've told her no?"

"You think I believe that? You'd fuck her in an instant! You'd fuck anyone!"

"You really think that of me, don't you?" Jack asked, suddenly quieter. "You think I'm —"

"— A whore," Ianto supplied, spitting venom.

"I _chose _not to sleep with her. I chose not to because I saw how jealous you always got whenever she was around me."

"Oh, so you're saying it's my fault? That you won't do it for _me? _To spare _my _feelings?"

"Yes! It wasn't just sex, for me. I care about you."

"Well, prepare to be disappointed, because that's all it was, Jack, sex. Sex and nothing else. And if you think I'll ever have feelings for you, you're out of your mind. I hate you! I hate you!" Ianto threw the other plate. Jack dodged, and the plate smashed against the wall, leaving a brown trail of curry dripping to the floor.

"Who would want feelings from you?" Jack countered. "You'd just lie about them. That's all it ever is for you, isn't it? Lies? Did you even love Lisa, or was that a lie too?"

Ianto charged at Jack, knocking them both to the ground. Jack rolled them over and shot to his feet, tripping Ianto as he tried to stand.

"I'm done with this." He wiped blood from his split lip on his coat sleeve. He turned to go.

"So you're leaving? You're running out just when it gets tough? Coward," Ianto hissed.

"You're the coward," Jack said without turning around. "Look at yourself, Ianto. Look in your heart, and see what's in there." He paused. "I'll be back tomorrow."

Ianto scrambled to his feet when he heard the door to his flat click closed. He dashed after Jack, throwing open the door and running after him. "Jack!"

A piercing alarm sounded, screaming through the hallway loudly enough to wake even the soundest sleeper. Running footsteps and Jack body-slammed Ianto back into his flat. Ianto sprawled on the floor of his entryway. Jack opened his wriststrap and pressed a button, shutting of the alarm. He stood in the hallway, glaring at Ianto with fury in his eyes.

"House arrest, remember?" Jack said with a grunt, trying to catch his breath.

"Where're you running to?" Ianto growled. "Gwen's bed?"

Jack's fist smashed into the wall beside Ianto's door, shattering his hand along with the plaster. He ignored the pain as he shouted. "I'll have you know, Ianto Jones, that until I met you, I haven't had sex with _anyone_ since December 27th, _1999 _and I'm _not_ about to start now!"

Ianto's mouth dropped open in surprise, all his anger flying away as the meaning of Jack's words hit his adrenaline-clouded brain. There was an awkward pause as silence descended between them.

"There hasn't been anyone but you," Jack said, softer.

Ianto crawled to his feet, stepping to the doorway. His eyes flicked around, noting his neighbors peering out of their own flats at the commotion in the hall. His cheeks burned in humiliation.

"Get in the fucking flat _this instant_," he snarled.

Jack, assessing the situation quickly, reluctantly returned to the flat. His hand reknit itself, so he wiped the blood off his knuckles on his trousers. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, crossing his arms over his chest, his chin raised in challenge.

"That long, really?" Ianto finally said, feeling drained. "What was that, six and a half years?"

"Felt like twenty," Jack replied, a grimace on his face.

"I thought— I thought you didn't do monogamy."

"I don't."

"But you're doing it," Ianto pointed out. "You haven't been with anyone else."

"The option to do it is there, whether or not I choose to exercise that option is my decision."

"Oh, that's so _mature_," Ianto muttered sarcastically.

"I never promised maturity, either," Jack replied, not rising to Ianto's baiting.

"No, I just assumed that someone who's been around as long as you've been would have some."

"Like you're the paragon of maturity? Please."

"What are you still doing here?" Ianto wondered. "I'm tired. I want to go to bed."

"I believe you told me to 'get in the fucking flat,'" Jack replied snarkily.

"Well, get out."

Jack tilted his head, regarding Ianto pensively. "I'm not sure that's a good idea," he finally said. He stepped past Ianto and walked to the kitchen, where he righted the bar stool.

"So now you're the boss of me?"

"If you want to move through this, then yes, I am." Jack took a look at the mess of curry and blood on the floor, walls and counter. He sighed and glanced back at Ianto. "Go to bed, I'll clean up."

"All of a sudden you're a gentleman?"

Jack shrugged. "You deserve it."

"I don't deserve shit."

"You do," Jack said firmly.

Ianto shook his head, sadly. "I don't know why you believe that. I'm a traitor. I'm a liar. I got two innocent people killed."

"You didn't mean for them to die."

"You don't get it, Jack. I'm not worth it. I'm not worth anything! I'm a total fuck up and there's nothing you can do to convince me otherwise."

"Ianto —" Jack stepped towards him, a hand outstretched.

Ianto hit Jack's hand away. "Don't pity me."

Jack reached Ianto and grabbed him by the back of the neck. He kissed him gently. "Caring isn't pity," he whispered.

"Why do you care?" Ianto breathed softly, leaning his forehead against Jack's.

"I just do." Jack softened his grip, stroking Ianto's neck. "Is that so hard to believe?"

Ianto gripped Jack's arms. "Yes."

Jack pulled him into a tight hug. They stood in the kitchen holding each other for a long time.

"Come on, gorgeous, let's get you to bed," Jack murmured, pushing Ianto gently in the direction of the bedroom.

"Why did you kiss me?" Ianto whispered.

"Because I like you," Jack answered. "Because you're one of the strongest, smartest men I know, and you've been through far too much for your age. Because I want to see you smile again."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Ianto smiled softly, shifting his hold on Jack to squeeze his hand. "Come to bed with me," he offered. Jack returned the squeeze and smile.

In the bedroom, Ianto looked from Jack to the bed and back again. Jack had never been in the room before, and Ianto wasn't sure how he felt about having him there. He remembered the last time he'd been in bed with Lisa, the night before the Battle, when he'd turned his back on her because she'd flirted with Jack earlier in the day, because she suggested a threesome, because he had a premonition that the next day would be bad, and she ignored his warnings. He turned back to Jack, who was waiting calmly for Ianto to decide what he wanted.

"You started it all," Ianto breathed, remembering.

"What?" Jack asked, clearly confused.

"There was fire everywhere," Ianto continued. "And people screaming. I was screaming. She was screaming. She was so heavy. All that metal, you know.

"I turned my back on her that night. I was angry that she flirted with you."

"Sorry."

"No you're not. Don't say it if you don't mean it."

"I'm sorry she died."

Anger flashed through Ianto's system again, burning away any good feelings towards Jack. "You're sorry you _murdered_ her?" he corrected, shoving Jack away from him.

"She died in London," Jack replied, stepping back. He retreated without taking his eyes off Ianto. "When are you going to realize that?"

Ianto lunged at Jack. Jack tripped, landing with a thump on the floor, the breath knocked out of him by the impact. They wrestled for control briefly, Ianto ending up on top, mostly because Jack let him. He pounded his fists into Jack's face over and over again, cursing him, screaming at him, crying because part of him didn't want to hurt Jack, but he couldn't help himself, he was so angry. It took him a full minute to notice that Jack wasn't struggling. He was unconscious. _No, _his mind told him, _he's dead. _

"Oh, God," Ianto whispered, staring at the devastation that was Jack's face. Blood was everywhere, and he could see the whites of Jack's eyes pink with blood. "What have I done?" he whimpered. "Oh, God, no!" Ianto howled. "No! No! Please, no!"

Jack came back to life quietly for a change. He smelled curry, and blood, and wondered how much of it was his. Beside him, Ianto sobbed, curled in on himself.

"Jack, Jack," he chanted between sobs. "I didn't mean it. Please, come back to me. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," Jack whispered, turning his head to be able to look at Ianto. Ianto's head shot up in surprise.

"Jack!" Ianto threw himself on top of Jack, hugging him close and kissing his neck, his cheek, his lips. Jack reached up to hold him.

"I'm sorry, too," Jack said. He ran the fingers of one hand through Ianto's hair. "I said a lot of things that day I shouldn't have. I was an ass. I was insensitive. I was so _hurt_, and that made me angry. I can't change the past, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"Oh, Jack, Jack, I should've told you the whole truth. I should've realized she was too far gone. But I couldn't give up on her."

"I know, sweetheart," Jack murmured. "I know what it's like. It's happened to me, more than once."

Ianto raised his head slightly so he could meet Jack's eyes. "What did you do?"

Jack sighed. "The first two times, I made the same mistake you did. I held on too long, and they suffered, and I suffered. I got smarter after that. Hurt just as much, even more sometimes, but in the end, it was a mercy."

"You've had to —"

"Yes."

"People you loved?"

"Yes."

"How can you stand it?" Ianto asked, raising a hand to stroke Jack's cheek. His remarkably _whole_ cheek.

"Sometimes, we do what must be done, even though we hate it, and ourselves, for doing it."

Ianto sat up slowly, helping Jack. They leaned against the wall, legs spread out in front of them, their bodied pressed together. Jack freed an arm, put it around Ianto's shoulders.

"You were dead," Ianto said.

"Yeah," Jack confirmed.

"Really dead. No pulse dead."

"Yeah."

"I ki—"

"I let you," Jack interrupted. "I let you do it."

"Why?"

"Because it got you thinking again. It helped you be yourself again. I wouldn't have done it for anyone else. I've never _let_ anyone do it before, not like that."

"I want to forget. I want to forget all of this."

"Sorry. No retcon for you."

"You're a right bastard."

"I've been called worse," Jack said with a laugh. "How do you feel?" he asked after a few minutes. "Did I hurt you too badly?"

"You've done worse," Ianto replied, leaning into the embrace. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "What's going on between us, Jack?"

"Today, or in general?"

"Both."

Jack paused. "I think — I think we're both hurting, and both angry, and both tired of all the _bullshit_ we've had to deal with. We misread each other. You lied, manipulated. I fell for it. I wanted to fall for it. I wanted—" Jack shut his mouth quickly.

"You wanted?" Ianto prompted.

"I wanted it to be possible with you. I wanted to have someone in my life who saw me as _me, _not the Captain, not the freak who can't die, not the leader of Torchwood, or the romantic hero, or the flirt who gets all the pretty boys and girls. I thought— I thought we had a chance at that. It's been a long time since I've had anything even _resembling_ that."

"Six years," Ianto murmured.

"Longer than that," Jack corrected. "That was just sex. Anything more than that and we have to go back to the eighties."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"No sex at all? Nothing?"

"Occasional blow jobs from strangers in dark alleys. No time for anything else, not being head of Torchwood. Especially those first years."

"Wow," Ianto repeated.

"Yeah."

"No one night stands?"

"Ianto, I'm old enough that those kinds of things have lost their appeal. Long ago."

"So you wanted a relationship?"

"I guess," Jack said with a sad sigh.

"Do you still want one?" Ianto asked hesitantly. "With me?

"I don't do relationships, Ianto. I'm not good at them. You should've figured that out by now. I hate the word. I hate what it implies, because it's so different from what I grew up with. I hate that the rules always change, and I never know what they are."

"But do you want one? We wouldn't have to call it a relationship. We certainly didn't call what we did before anything."

"I don't know if I can. I don't know if I want to or not. Sex, yeah, I can do that. But intimacy? Feelings? Got me screwed big time."

"Because of what I did, how I tricked you?" Jack nodded silently. Ianto took his hand and got to his knees in front of Jack, meeting his eyes. "If I promise never to lie again, can we try?" Jack's eyes widened in surprise. "Because, well, I lied earlier, and I need to come clean."

Jack snatched his hand back and crossed his arms over his chest, a mask of indifference falling over his features. "Did you, now?"

"There _have_ been moments when it was just us," Ianto said earnestly. "They've been there the whole time, but I felt too guilty, too ashamed to admit it. Our first kiss by the coffee machine? That was just us, Jack. All I could think of was you. All I could feel was you. All I wanted was you. You have to believe me!"

"What makes you admit it now?" Jack asked, his voice skeptical.

"When you were dead — I realized something. Lisa, my Lisa, the real Lisa, died in London. Like you said. I didn't want to believe it. That thing tricked me. It played on my emotions, just as you said it would when I first told you about her. But every so often, I'd see glimmers of her. And she always encouraged me to move on, to seek you out, to — to feel things for you. That ghost of Lisa, the last little bit of her that was left, wanted me to be with you."

Jack uncrossed his arms, but otherwise remained still.

"I — I don't know what we're doing. But when you were lying there just now, all I wanted was another chance. Another chance to do it right, to kiss you for _you_ again."

Jack ran his fingers through his hair. "I want to believe you, Ianto, but I don't know if I can."

"Then — then let's start over. We won't have sex yet. We'll get to know each other for real. I'll tell you everything. I'll talk about the Battle, about finding her and how I got her into the Hub, all of that. I'll — I'll —"

"Easy, tiger," Jack murmured, raising his hand to touch the side of Ianto's face. "What did I say at the beginning?"

"Not to rush to try to do everything at once?"

Jack nodded, the sad smile still on his face. "Let's just get cleaned up and go to sleep, ok? We can talk more tomorrow."

Day 17:

Ianto woke in his own bed for the first time in five weeks. Somehow, he'd always ended up on the couch after the sex with Jack, as if he couldn't bear to be in his own room alone. But last night Jack had been with him, spooned against him as they slept. He didn't remember how he'd gotten there the night before. He groaned and rolled over, absently stroking the other side of the bed, finding it cold and empty. Jack hadn't stayed. He blinked sleepily and pulled over the piece of paper that crackled under his fingers.

"_You had some pretty bad nightmares last night. Take yourself out of the house today. I've reprogrammed the bracelet for five miles. I'll be by at the regular time for the debriefing. — Jack" _

Ianto smiled, tracing Jack's signature with a finger. _Is this what I get for being honest? _he wondered. _Or is it his way of apologizing for yesterday? _

Memories slammed into him.

.

_Standing in the shower with Jack, washing blood off each other. Shampooing curry out of Jack's hair, and the moans coming from Jack as Ianto massaged his skull. Deciding that — maybe — jerking each other off didn't count as sex, so they could keep doing that, and Jack's delighted laugh. Jack reminding him that's how it all started between them, anyway, with kisses in the Archives and groping in the dark. _

_._

_Later, lying in bed together, just holding each other. Breathing in Jack's scent and feeling normal for the first time in weeks with Jack's arms around him. Feeling protected because he knew Jack would soothe away his nightmares. _

_._

_Jack, shaking him awake when a nightmare of fire and blood threatened to drown him, kissing him with a gentleness he'd never expected from Jack, especially now. Jack's voice a low rumble as he sang a lullaby in a language Ianto couldn't understand. Ianto's eyes drooping as Jack stroked his hair, his arm, his cheek. _

_._

_Dawn, an early morning kiss, Jack saying "goodbye, _ashe'ha_." Feeling empty now that Jack was gone. _

.

Ianto reread the note. He picked up his cell phone and dialed Jack's number.

"Harkness," Jack barked. "Owen, you better have that report ready!"

"Jack, it's me."

"Ianto?" Jack's voice softened into concern. "Is everything ok? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. I got your note. I just wanted to thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I'll take care of dinner tonight, ok? Anything you want?"

"You know me, I'm easy! If it's yours, I'll eat it." Ianto could hear the leer in Jack's voice.

"Don't think I'm putting out just because I'm doing this," Ianto warned. "One conversation isn't enough."

"No? How about if I bring wine?"

"I'll consider it."

"Well, we'll have to see, won't we, Mr. Jones?" Jack said. "I can be very persuasive."

"I'm sure you can. In the meantime, did you leave your coat here for me to clean?"

"Umm, kind of," Jack admitted, sounding embarrassed. "It was covered in curry and blood. I couldn't risk bringing it back to the Hub or Owen would get on me about having another row with you."

"It's ok, Jack. I hoped you would. I'll make sure it's as good as new by tonight."

"You're really something else, you know that?"

"I'll take that as a compliment," Ianto replied. "And now, sir, I have some shopping to do."

***TW TW TW***

Dinner was simple and non-romantic, just pasta with red sauce, but Ianto made the sauce himself with fresh herbs and tomatoes. Ianto described his day, how he sat in the park watching children playing just to feel the rare Cardiff sunlight on his face. Jack told an anecdote from work about how Gwen and Owen had gotten into an argument about a case and both had stormed out of the Hub, only to come back ten minutes later to find out that they were both wrong. Jack brought out the wine, as promised, and after they finished eating they took the bottle and their glasses to the living room. The conversation turned serious.

Jack pulled out a portable recording device. Ianto began at the beginning, telling Jack of his recruitment to Torchwood One, his training, his job there. How he met Lisa. He described the Battle as best as he could, and explained how he managed to get her out and steal the tech they needed to keep her alive. He talked about his plan to get hired by Jack, and the planning it took to actually get Lisa into the Hub.

When the tremors started, Jack pulled Ianto into his arms, stroking his hair and murmuring soft words in the language of his birth. Ianto held on tightly as he finished his story, talking about how the Cyberman tricked him to thinking it was still Lisa, how her voices would change, how scared he was of what would happen. He ended by going over his version of what happened that night, apologizing for his harsh words, spoken in anger, that he might have meant at the time but didn't any longer.

"You're not a monster, Jack," Ianto whispered into Jack's neck. "I see that now. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for not trusting you. I should've done."

Jack hugged Ianto closer. "I said it before. Apology accepted. You've learned a life lesson from this, I think. We all have to learn to be the people we're truly meant to be."

"I wish it weren't so hard."

"Me, too," Jack added wistfully.

"Come to bed with me?" Ianto asked. "To sleep," he quickly clarified, knowing they both needed the reminder of their new arrangement.

Day 18:

Ianto woke (aside from nightmares in the middle of the night) on the 18th day of his suspension early enough that Jack was still in the flat. Ianto made coffee while Jack went through emails on his smartphone. Ianto frowned.

"I'm really bored, Jack. Isn't there something I can do? Something small and innocuous that wouldn't be a security risk while I'm still technically on suspension?"

Jack looked up from the tiny screen. "Hmm, I suppose there's the mess in the Archives…"

"You let them in my Archives?" Ianto demanded, slamming down his coffee mug. Jack smirked at him.

"Just the doorway. I put a box out, so they could just put the files in there. Only it's more like six boxes. I'm making them do all their backlog."

"What about _your_ backlog, sir?" Ianto asked, his voice low and dangerous.

Jack grinned. "Three boxes in my office," he answered proudly.

"Only three?"

"Well, some of my paperwork time's been taken by a gorgeous Welshman…"

Ianto pinched his the bridge of his nose, ignoring the flirtatious comment. "Let me get this straight. You have _nine_ boxes of files that need to be sorted so I can get them to the appropriate parts of the Archives? And three of them are yours?"

"Yeah. Three are Owen, I think. Tosh has one, and Gwen two. But if we have a quiet few days, I'll probably have at least another box for you."

"God help me," Ianto muttered under his breath. "You better bring them over."

"Will do," Jack said, standing. He leaned over. "Can I kiss you goodbye?"

"Suddenly you're asking?"

"Well, you said we couldn't have sex. I wasn't sure what the rules are."

"Jack, I let you sleep in my bed with me, naked. I let us jerk each other off in the shower two nights ago. You can kiss me."

Jack smiled the most brilliant smile Ianto had yet seen on him. It looked like he'd just been given a great gift, one he was going to treasure. He kissed Ianto gently, stroking Ianto's cheek as he did so. "I'll see you later."

Ianto nodded an absent acknowledgment, bemused by the kiss. It felt like a kiss you'd give your lover. But they weren't lovers, were they? They weren't even having sex yet, though Ianto was certain it wouldn't take long for it to start up again.

Later that day, Jack and Owen arrived, carrying boxes of files. Ianto buried himself in the work, feeling lighter than he had in a long time, even though Jack didn't kiss him at all because of Owen's presence.

Days 19-21:

Ianto made good headway in the files. He and Jack talked about some of them over dinner, which helped him feel useful again. He slept in Jack's arms, thrashing awake with nightmares less frequently as the week progressed. Jack soothed him and held him until morning.


	30. Chapter 30: Ianto's Suspension: Week 4

A/N: I'm sorry it's taken so long to post this! Life has been quite busy, and I wanted to make sure that this chapter went where I needed it to go for the rest of the story. As you know, I'm trying to be as canon-compliant as I can be for the first season. Please review and let me know what you think. (And I'm almost done with a draft of the next chapter, so it won't be as long between updates next time.) Enjoy!

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 30: Ianto's Suspension, Week Four**

Day 22:

Jack left to go to Flat Holm for his monthly inspection from Ianto's flat. The night before he'd been nervous, since he wouldn't get back until Monday morning, and Ianto's nightmares were vivid and terrifying. Jack wanted to put off his visit, so that he could be with Ianto if more came. Would Ianto want Tosh to stay over with him if Jack were gone and unreachable? Ianto convinced him that he would be fine, and that there was no need to have Tosh visit him. He was looking forward to a night alone, he explained, and nothing would happen. Reluctantly, Jack went.

Ianto spent the day as he'd been spending every day that week. First going food shopping, and getting some exercise, then coming home and planning dinner. Then he settled down to go through the files that were piled around his living room. He was so engrossed in the task, reading the files, correcting mistakes, sorting and putting aside ones that needed to be rewritten completely, that the 8pm doorbell he didn't expect startled him out of his skin.

A middle-aged woman stood in the hallway, holding what looked like a fruit basket. Ianto recognized her as one of his neighbors. He felt his cheeks burning, remembering the spectacle he and Jack had caused earlier in the week.

"Here you are, love," she said gently, handing him the basket. "The girls and I, we wanted to get you a little something."

"Um, thank you, Mrs. Barry," Ianto answered. "Would you like tea?" he offered tentatively.

"No, no, but I'll give you a bit of advise: keep that one around. He might be a rude American, and far too charming for his own good, but he's over here every night looking after you. Don't let him go for a bit of jealousy." She put a kind hand on his arm. "I know his type; they talk, they flirt, but when they give their hearts, it's forever."

"Jack hasn't—"

"I've been around a lot longer than you, young man," she interrupted. "And I ran into your man this morning. He was positively glowing that you were working things out."

"He was?" Ianto almost dropped the fruit basket in surprise.

"Asked me to look in on you. He was very clear that it had to be eight o'clock, exactly."

"He says routine is good for me," Ianto muttered. "He's out of town tonight."

"Well, like I said, keep him around. And don't think I haven't heard you going at it, either!" she said with a wink. "Sound carries better through water, you know." Ianto just nodded mutely, hoping she would leave soon so he could die of embarrassment in peace.

***TW TW TW***

_The Hub burned. Overheated metal and charred blood scorched Ianto's nostrils as he ran, sobbing, through the tunnels, searching for Lisa, for Jack, for anyone alive. He tripped over a body. Tanizaki. Scrambling to his feet, he called for help._

_Lisa appeared before him, Cyber-Lisa, the one who'd killed him. She looked over his shoulder. Behind him Jack stood, gun raised._

_"Ianto! Out of the way!"_

_Jack shot at Cyber-Lisa, but she advanced, pushing Ianto aside in favor of Jack._

_"You are superior to the others. You will be assimilated."_

_"No!" Ianto screamed._

_Cyber-Lisa electrocuted Jack and dragged him away while Owen and Gwen and Tosh held Ianto back._

_"Come on, mate, he's gone," Owen said, shoving him back towards the main Hub. Ianto snarled in rage, punching Owen in the face and pulling free of the women to run after Jack._

_._

_Ianto stood before the conversion unit, staring at the blood coating the metal, the floor, the walls. How could someone have so much blood in their body? he wondered with a detached part of his brain. Where were they? Was Jack somehow safe?_

_._

_Heavy, metal footsteps sounded. Cyber-Lisa on his left at the far end of the hall. Cyber-Jack on his right, as far from her as possible. A bazooka in Ianto's hands. He knew, with the clarity of a dream, that if he killed one of them, the other would be restored, healed, whole, alive and well and free to love Ianto for the rest of his life._

_He aimed the bazooka, hesitated. Cyber-Jack advanced, Cyber-Lisa matching each of his steps._

_"You can save me, gorgeous," Jack crooned in his normal voice, the sound distorted by the image of him as a half-converted monster. "All you have to do is pick me."_

_"You promised me you'd fix me," Lisa said. "You always keep your promises."_

_"I don't know what to do!" Ianto shouted. He re-aimed, hesitated again, picked the other one, changed his mind. "How am I supposed to choose?" he wailed._

_"I trusted you," Jack continued as if he hadn't spoken. "I gave you my heart and you betrayed me."_

_"I didn't mean to, Jack. You have to believe me. I didn't know this would happen!"_

_"Your heart was never mine, was it? That's why I let her do this to me. I'll never have to feel hurt again. I'll never have to lose a lover again."_

_"No, that's not what this is about," Ianto protested. "I was falling for you! I loved you both! I can't choose, Jack. You told me I wouldn't have to choose!"_

_"You have to choose now," Cyber-Jack said, stopping right before Ianto. "Only one of us will live, and you have to choose which of us it is."_

_"I can't!"_

_"Then you have killed us both," Cyber-Lisa declared. "You will be deleted." She reached for him._

***TW TW TW***

Ianto woke screaming.

"Jack! Jack! Where are you?" he shouted, scrambling out from under the blankets of the bed that was suddenly too big without Jack in it with him. He grabbed his cell phone and pressed speed dial *1 for Jack. "Come on, come on, pick up," he urged.

_"This cellular phone is no longer within the service area. Please call back at a later time. No voicemail is available. End of message."_

Ianto cursed and pressed *2 for Jack's direct line at Torchwood, his sleep and nightmare-fuzzy brain forgetting that Jack was still at Flat Holm.

_"This is Captain Jack Harkness. Leave a message and my assistant Mr. Jones will call you back. If this is an emergency, I'm already out there dealing with it."_

"No, no, no, no!" Ianto chanted. "You have to be somewhere! Jack!" Ianto pressed *3 for Jack's personal cell phone, the one only Torchwood staff and the Queen and Prime Minister had. Maybe the President of the United States, but Ianto doubted it. Jack didn't like the man very much.

_"This cellular phone is no longer within the service area. Please call back at a later time. No voicemail is available. End of message."_

"Jack," Ianto sobbed. "Jack, please be ok. Please come back."

***TW TW TW***

Tosh looked up from the translation program she was putting together when her cell phone rang. Half asleep, she'd been letting her laptop do most of the work as she dozed. Yawning, she answered without much enthusiasm.

"Sato."

"Tosh? Is that you?" Ianto's panicked voice jolted her awake.

"Ianto? Are you ok? It's three in the morning!"

"Tosh, I —" Ianto broke off in a sob. "I — Can you come over? I can't reach Jack, and I know I'm not supposed to talk to you without his approval right now, but —" Ianto choked on another sob. Tosh interrupted him before he could try to talk again.

"I'm on my way, ok? I'll be right there. Just sit tight." She hung up and threw herself out of bed to find some clothing.

Twenty minutes later Tosh had Ianto in her car as they returned to her flat. Ianto was a wreck, crying and shivering and refusing to stay in his flat. Too many reminders of his nightmares.

"So you couldn't reach Jack?" she asked softly as she drove, watching Ianto leaning his forehead against the glass of the passenger side window.

"He's out of cell range," Ianto mumbled. "I forgot until now. He'll be back in the morning, I think. He didn't say when."

"How can someone be out of range?" Tosh mused. "Unless he's at the top of K2 or Everest or something, and even then he'd have a working GPS. He couldn't have gotten there so quickly. All our cells are international! I upgraded them all myself!"

"It doesn't matter," Ianto replied. "Thanks for coming to get me. I shouldn't have gotten you out of bed for this."

"No worries," she said, patting his arm awkwardly. "You'd do the same for me once you're on your feet again, right? That's what friends do."

"Are we friends?" Ianto asked. "After what I did? I almost got you killed," he added.

"I thought we were," Tosh whispered. "I wanted to be, anyway. You know, before. I would've helped you, if I'd known."

"I know," Ianto said, rushing to reassure her. "I know you would've. It's just— it's not the kind of thing I expected any empathy about. But hindsight is twenty-twenty, as they say. Jack said he would've helped from the beginning, too, if he'd known. You should've seen him when I introduced them. He was at her side in an instant, trying to help."

"Yeah? You mind telling me what happened?"

"I went to his office and told him. Next thing I knew, I was in handcuffs and he had his gun to my head." Ianto shuddered. He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly before continuing. "He grabbed the biggest guns we had in the Armory and marched me down there. As soon as he saw her, though, he dropped them and rushed to her side. He remembered her name, Tosh," Ianto said fervently, his voice full of awe. "He remembered her _name!_ He'd only met her once, for a few minutes, in London. And I guess I mentioned her once or twice. But he remembered."

"He cares about us. He remembers the names of all of our family members, if he knows them. I daresay he knows where they all live, too."

"He examined her, tried to make her comfortable. He did everything he could. It just wasn't enough."

"No," she murmured. "I guess not." She paused, then started speaking again. "He told us that they came from an alternate dimension where they almost took over the whole planet."

Ianto shivered again, hunched in his jacket.

"Are you cold?" she asked. He nodded. "Well, we're almost at my place, and a nice cup of tea and a chessboard await us. Think you can handle that?"

Before Ianto could respond, the shrieking of his bracelet's alarm screamed to life, deafening them in the confined space of the car.

"Turn around! Turn around!" Ianto shouted, waving his arms frantically as if the gesture alone could move the car.

In a move that would have even impressed Jack, Tosh turned the steering wheel in her hands and executed a U-turn on two wheels across three lanes of traffic to get them going in the right direction again. She slammed on the gas, shooting the car forward as quickly as she could, dodging between the few cars on the road. The alarm lowered in volume to something slightly below an ambulance siren.

"We've got to get back to my flat," Ianto shouted over the noise. "He said five miles. Your place is five miles from the Hub. That's regulation! It shouldn't be doing this."

"Five miles from the Hub isn't five miles from your flat," Tosh pointed out. "I'm two miles from the Hub, but in the opposite direction."

"He's gonna think I took a runner," Ianto moaned. "He's gonna think I'm trying to leave. He's gonna be so mad!"

"No, he won't," Tosh said placatingly. "He knows you get nightmares, right? He knows you might not want to be alone, right? And we're going straight back there. It'll be fine."

"He's going to be so disappointed," Ianto whispered. "I can't disappoint him again, not after what happened."

"It'll be fine," Tosh repeated.

Back at Ianto's flat, the bracelet quieted to a steady three beep pattern every sixty seconds. They sat on Ianto's sofa and tried to ignore it. Ianto closed his eyes, leaning his head back and trying to calm himself.

"I don't know what's happening to me, Tosh," Ianto said softly. "These nightmares, I can't shake them. Before —it— I got nightmares of Canary Wharf. Now, now it's all jumbled together and they're so bad, so horrible."

"You'll get over them. It takes a long time. I still get mine of UNIT sometimes, and it's been three and a half years since I was there."

"What happened?" Ianto asked without thinking. He hurried to backtrack. "I mean, you don't have to tell me…"

"This woman, a terrorist, she had my mother hostage. She made me commit treason to keep her safe by building alien technology. That's how UNIT got involved. I was trapped in there for months before I got out."

"You did it for your mother?"

"Yes. Jack knew that. He made sure she was safe, that the rest of my family was safe, then broke me out. I have a year or two left in my deal with him." She stopped for a moment. "But I like working for Torchwood, most of the time. I'll just continue when the time comes. I just hope he lets me see more of them."

"You can't see them?"

"Jack had to retcon my mother. She lost six months. Most of my family don't know what happened. They think I was in an underground think tank. Well, I'm still there, apparently, just more able to communicate. He lets me write to them whenever I want, which is more than I expected. At first he was going to use being able to contact them as leverage to keep me at Torchwood, but that didn't last long."

"Why not?"

"It was just a bargaining chip to get me out of UNIT. They needed reassurance that he'd be able to keep an eye on me, keep me under control, and our interview was recorded. Once I was safely here for a few months he raised the restriction on letters and emails."

"But you can't talk to them? Or see them?"

"It's not like I have much to say," she said softly. "I can't tell them about work, and that's all I do. I'm not in a relationship. The only people I spend time with are you guys."

"Do you think he's a monster?" Ianto asked, drawing his knees up to his chest and staring down at the floor.

Tosh glanced at him briefly before answering. "He has different morals from the rest of us, so it's hard to compare. I think he has to do a lot of things that are painful, to others and himself, and he tries to limit the damage when he can. I also think he makes mistakes."

"Name one."

"He apologized for his actions that night," she replied instantly. "To all of us. He said he was cruel to you and shouldn't have ordered you to execute her. In private, he told me he feels ashamed that he said it. He said he'd apologized to you, more than once."

"He said that to you? That he feels ashamed?"

"He didn't use that word, but I've known him a long time now, longer than anyone else here. I could read it on his face, in how defeated and broken he looked." She remembered the look on Jack's face the third time he'd come back from visiting Ianto. His usually tanned skin was ashen, his eyes dull. He hadn't acknowledged Tosh at all, just walked past her to his office where he began drinking whiskey at a pace that set Owen's usual excesses to shame. "He's not a monster, Ianto. He's just a sad, broken man who feels more for others than he thinks he should and gets so disappointed in the world that he lashes out where he shouldn't."

"I want to forgive him," Ianto whispered. "I know Lisa was gone long before Jack shot her body. I know that now. More than that, I believe it. But I just can't say the words. I've apologized, but I can't tell him I forgive him."

"If you truly forgive him, the words will come."

"It's not really him I need to forgive. I need to forgive myself for hurting him, for using him. God, Tosh, the things we did together!" Ianto ran his fingers through his hair distractedly. "The things I said —" He blinked a few times, forcing the tears to stop. "I did things with him I'd never done with anyone, not even Lisa. Intimate things. Things we'll likely never do again. Things I — God, Tosh, things I was doing happily while she suffered in that fucking basement. Happily. Do you get it? I betrayed her by sleeping with him, but that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that I _wanted_ to do it!"

Tosh put a hand on his arm, squeezing gently.

"I can't take it!" Ianto shouted. "How am I supposed to live with this guilt? How am I supposed to move on from this? I hurt him. I really and truly hurt him, and he was emotionally broken enough to start with. How can he ever trust me again? How can he even want to be near me?"

"But he does," Tosh said encouragingly. "He comes over every night, and I know it's more than just checking up that you haven't killed yourself, or something. He spends hours here. Half the time he must stay the night, because he comes in with coffee you've made. He's too selfish to spend more time here then he wants to."

"I've ruined everything," he whispered. "I could've let her go and had something good with him. I could've ignored his flirting and stayed true to her. But what did I do? I fucked him, and lost her, and now I've lost him, too." He cried for a few minutes as she held him.

"He stays the night," Tosh pointed out. "You can't have lost him forever."

"He just wakes me if the nightmares are too bad. Nothing sexual about it."

"Oh."

"I've lost _that_."

"Oh."

"I'm so tired," Ianto muttered dejectedly.

"Here," Tosh said, patting her thighs. "Rest your head. I'll stay until Jack gets back."

"Thanks, Tosh."

"I don't think you've ruined everything," she said softly, but he was already asleep.

***TW TW TW***

_Ianto sat in his apartment waiting for Jack. Even though he was expecting it, the resounding crash of Jack kicking in his front door startled him. He looked up to see Jack run into the room._

_"What the fuck do you think you were doing?" Jack snarled, his face a mask of rage. He crossed the room and pulled Ianto to his feet by his shirt collar, slamming him against the wall. "You want me to trust you and the first chance you get you run? You really think that's going to build trust?"_

_"No, Jack, that's not what happened," Ianto managed, grabbing Jack's wrists to try to lessen the pressure on his neck._

_"No? 'Cause that's what it looked like!"_

_"It was just the nightmares," Ianto gasped._

_"You think I'm going to believe that? All you do is lie to me. All you do is trick me. This whole let's-get-to-know-each-other-before-we-fuck scenario? I bet that's another trick, too. You're still manipulating me, aren't you?"_

_"No, I really mean it —"_

_"Liar!"_

_"Jack, please —"_

Day 23

Tosh smoothed down Ianto's hair as he whimpered in his sleep. She glanced around his immaculate flat and thought about what Jack had said to her two days ago when he'd left the Hub for Ianto's at quarter of eight.

_"He's lonely. And he's grieving. I know I caused some of his pain, but if I can help him move through it, don't I have that responsibility?"_

Tosh sighed, glancing at her watch. It was almost six in the morning, and Ianto had been sleeping with his head in her lap for almost an hour. The nightmares started almost instantly.

She wondered if they were having sex again but quickly dismissed the thought. Ianto had been too upset the other day when she'd mentioned it, and after their talk earlier, she seriously doubted it. If she knew Ianto at all, which she wasn't sure she did anymore, he'd want to be on good terms with someone to sleep with them.

The door to Ianto's flat banged open and she heard Jack's voice, tinged with panic, maybe even fear.

"Ianto? Ianto, answer me!"

Ianto jerked awake, lifting his head and pushing off her thigh with a hand on her knee. Another crash indicated that Jack had gone straight to Ianto's bedroom to look for him and opened that door with as much force as the front door.

"Ianto!"

"In here," Ianto called, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair to try to shake the most recent nightmare.

Jack appeared in the doorway, breathing heavily, gun in hand. He looked from Ianto to Tosh and back to Ianto before holstering the gun and letting out a ragged breath. It sounded like a sigh of relief.

"It was the nightmares?" he asked. She could hear the worry in his voice. Ianto nodded, and in a moment of synchronization the likes of which Tosh had never seen before, Ianto pushed the coffee table away from the couch as Jack took two running strides and jumped over the table in its new location, going to his knees in front of Ianto as Ianto fell from the couch into Jack's outstretched arms. They held each other tightly as Ianto let out a sobbing breath.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was?" Jack snarled as he stroked Ianto's hair, his gentle fingers a sharp contrast to the anger in his voice. "I dropped my phone in the fucking channel. I couldn't even _call_ you. Be glad I was already on the way back!"

"I'm sorry, Jack, I'm so sorry," Ianto said, over and over again in a low, intense voice. "I wasn't running, I promise you. I'm sorry."

"It's OK, _asha_. I'm here now. You're safe," Jack responded, continuing to stroke the back of Ianto's neck and head as he held him close. After a long moment, Jack pushed Ianto's head back to meet his eyes. He brushed the tears from Ianto's cheeks with his thumbs. "They were bad tonight, huh?"

"I dreamed — I dreamed Lisa was —" Ianto blinked a few times, more tears streaking down his face. "And you were —"

Jack's eyes flitted over Tosh, who was still sitting on the couch, trying to be inconspicuous. He reached in his pocket and held out his keys. "Tosh, can you repark the SUV for me?" he asked softly. "I think we need a minute here." She nodded silently and stood to leave.

"You were one of them," Ianto continued once she'd left the flat. "And you said I made you that way —"

"No, nothing like that," Jack whispered, pulling Ianto's head down to rest on his shoulder again. "I'd never say that."

"You said — you said you wanted to be emotionless. That you couldn't be hurt that way. That I couldn't hurt you any more."

"I'm sure part of you wants that right now," Jack replied, running his hands up and down Ianto's back. "It's easier to be emotionless, to not feel, than dealing with grief and hurt and everything else."

"It hurts so much, Jack," Ianto managed. "I think about her all the time and it hurts so bad."

"I know," Jack murmured. "That it hurts so much means you love her."

"There's more to it than that. I hurt you, too."

Jack shrugged, trying to ignore the pain in his own heart. "Shit happens. I'll get over it."

"I'm sorry for hurting you."

"And I'm sorry for hurting you back."

"I know, Jack. You've been so good to me about it."

Jack blinked back a tear of his own and leaned his forehead against Ianto's. "Sweetheart…"

"I never meant to hurt you like I did. I didn't set out to hurt you. I wish I hadn't. I wish I could make it better."

"I know," Jack whispered, his voice tight with sadness.

"But we'll fix it, yeah?" Ianto asked, raising a hand to cup Jack's cheek. "We'll find a way to get through this? We'll find a way to be together again?"

"You'd want that?" Jack choked out. "After what I did? What I said?"

"I know it was supposed to be casual," Ianto babbled. "I know that's what I asked for, but it didn't turn out that way, did it? For either of us?"

"I guess it didn't. I'm not as good at casual as I thought I was," Jack said with a self-deprecating laugh.

"Idiot, you didn't have any practice!" Ianto said, chuckling. "Six years with no sex would make it hard to be casual, don't you think? Just from the novelty of doing it again after so long? I know it wasn't my skills."

"You're not exactly a slouch in the sack," Jack said, letting himself find the humor, as Ianto was doing. "Goddess, the things you could do —" He broke off and looked away. "When we've figured things out," he began tentatively. "I'd like to do them again," he finished.

Ianto grabbed Jack's chin and forced their eyes to meet. They stared at each other for a few minutes before Ianto leaned forward and kissed Jack tenderly. _"We will,"_ he whispered into Jack's mind.

Completely overwhelmed by the sensation of Ianto touching him so intimately, Jack threw caution to the wind and kissed Ianto back with all the passion in him. _"I can't wait,"_ he replied. _"Now take me to bed so I can kiss you properly."_

"You mean, without clothes?" Ianto asked aloud, pulling back from Jack's lips.

"Yeah." Jack groaned as Ianto brushed a hand over his cock.

On the way to the bedroom, Jack saw his keys sitting on top of a note on Ianto's kitchen counter. He detoured briefly to pick up the note.

.

_"Jack,_

_How you can park across three spaces and the sidewalk is beyond me. You have talent! ;-)_

_I'll tell the others that your trip took longer than you expected, so stay and take care of each other. Listen to each other. You both have things to say and things you need to hear._

_See you tomorrow._

_Tosh"_

.

"So she's giving you a day off?" Ianto asked, amused, slipping the note from Jack's hand. Jack shrugged, yawning. Ianto dropped the note to the counter and tugged on Jack's hand. "Come on. I haven't been able to sleep without you, and I'm going to take advantage of Tosh's generosity in handing out personal days."

Once in bed, a good night (good morning?) kiss quickly became kisses, one melding into the next in a gentle seduction that soon had them both aching with need and wanting more. Jack let his hands wander, and Ianto lay back and allowed it, finally pushing at Jack's head to direct him down to his cock. Grinning, Jack took Ianto's erection in his mouth and running his tongue along its length. He sucked on the head, teasing Ianto's slit and enjoying the _sweetsaltybitter_ flavor of the precum. Ianto gasped, biting his lip to keep from crying out.

Jack moved lower, nuzzling Ianto's balls on his way to Ianto's hole. Jack lazily licked around the edge before plunging his tongue in, lapping at the puckered opening. Ianto thrashed, his fists clutching the sheets as he whimpered in pleasure.

"Jack," he gasped. "Too much."

"Not nearly enough," Jack countered, pressing deeper with his tongue as he stretched Ianto with lubed fingers. Ianto threw his head back against the pillows and let out the most decadent moan Jack had ever heard from him. He grabbed Jack's hair and tugged him up into a deep kiss, all tongues and teeth and ragged breaths.

"Hurry and fuck me," Ianto managed around their kisses.

Jack attacked Ianto's neck, biting and sucking hard enough to leave a bruise, then licking to soothe the skin. "Just be patient a little longer, _ashe_," Jack murmured. Ianto growled low in his throat at the delay. Jack's delighted laugh filled the room.

"Jack."

"Ianto." Jack pushed himself up on his elbows to look down at Ianto. He smiled sweetly, raising a hand to stroke Ianto's cheek. "There's something about you, Ianto Jones," he whispered, his voice full of wonder. "I can't keep myself away from you."

"Can't keep myself away from you, either," Ianto replied. "Must be those pheromones." He grabbed Jack's neck to pull him down for a kiss. Once Jack was fully occupied, he reached down to cup Jack's ass, squeezing it and pulling Jack's hips closer, pressing their erections against each other between their bodies. Jack groaned at the contact. He pulled away and licked along Ianto's ear.

"Fuck, Ianto, you're impatient tonight."

"You haven't fucked me in _days_," Ianto whined.

"Even though the hold was your idea?" Jack teased, biting the ear he was nibbling on. He reached for the lube. "I want to make it worth it."

"Just get on with it!"

Jack laughed again and eased into Ianto, setting a slow and steady pace, moving deeper and deeper, filling Ianto expertly. Stars exploded behind Ianto's eyes as Jack hit his prostate with each thrust. His breathing stuttered in his throat as the pleasure increased.

"Jack!"

Jack snapped his hips forward quickly, capturing Ianto's mouth at the same time, thrusting his tongue as far into Ianto's mouth as he could manage, fucking his mouth in time to his thrusts. Ianto bucked his hips, gathering momentum towards his climax. He grabbed Jack's ass to pull him in farther. He slipped a lubed finger along Jack's crack before pressing into him. Jack clenched around him, groaning.

They exploded together, climaxing hard and long. Jack pumped Ianto full of his seed as Ianto splashed his completion between them. They lay together, panting. Jack nuzzled Ianto's neck, breathing in his scent, sighing. Ianto couldn't help but smile, content and happier than he could ever remember being.

"Jack, I lo—"

"Don't say it," Jack interrupted. "Don't say it if you don't mean it."

"I—"

"Please, Ianto, I can't take take the heartache of hearing it right now." Jack left him, then, climbing out of bed to pull on his trousers. He shoved his feet into his boots and had almost finished buttoning his shirt when Ianto managed to prop himself up on an elbow that felt like jelly and reach for Jack's arm.

"Please stay," Ianto asked, tugging on his shirtsleeve. Jack jerked his arm away and stood.

"I'm not good for you," Jack declared. "You shouldn't feel that way for me. I'll just break your heart."

"As if you haven't already," Ianto replied sarcastically, sitting up fully. Jack swung around to stare at him. "I loved her, and you killed her. _You_. That alone is enough."

"So, don't do it," Jack said harshly. He picked up his greatcoat, flung down in a moment of passion earlier.

"Don't leave like this," Ianto begged.

Jack sighed and turned back to Ianto. He collapsed into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. He scrubbed his hands over his face as he looked back at Ianto with an expression close to despair on his face. "I can't love you, Ianto. I can't. It'll just hurt us both if we pretend otherwise."

"Then chalk it up to that nonsense everyone says after a really good shag and get back in bed," Ianto growled, trying to hide his pain by looking away.

Jack ran his fingers through Ianto's sweaty hair. "You're not just a good shag."

"Whatever," Ianto muttered, rolling over so his back faced Jack. Clothing rustled and a few minutes later Jack crawled back into bed, pulling the duvet over them and wrapping an arm over Ianto's waist. Ianto forced himself to relax. Jack lay awake for several hours after Ianto cried himself silently to sleep, tears falling from his own lashes.

Day 24

Ianto woke to the sound of rain against his window. He groaned and struggled to a sitting position, finding it extremely difficult with Jack wrapped around him, still asleep and snoring softly. He gaped in surprise.

"Jack?" he whispered, reaching out a hand to brush some stray hair off Jack's forehead. Jack smiled in his sleep and snuggled closer to Ianto. With an amused yet tolerant smile, Ianto settled back down, deciding to enjoy the novelty of being awake while Jack slept.

_Emotional roller coaster is right_, Ianto thought as he watched his lover. _One minute I'm having horrible nightmares, terrified, then we make love, and I almost tell him, but he gets angry, and we both cried. He won't admit it, but his eyes were red yesterday afternoon when I finally woke up. Then we just went on as if nothing had happened, as if we were just two people, enjoying each other's company. Walk around the neighborhood, early dinner, chase down a Weevil, watch TV, shag on the couch, go to bed, shag again. It's practically normal. As normal as Torchwood ever gets._

_And now he's asleep in my bed while I'm awake. Has that ever happened before? He stayed the whole night._ Ianto glanced at the clock and decided it was time for coffee.

"No, _ashe_, don't go yet," Jack murmured sleepily, wrapping himself tighter around Ianto when he tried to move.

Ianto sighed in exasperation and shoved Jack away. "Come on, sir, you've got to go to work," he declared, turning on the butler voice he hadn't used in weeks, hoping it would encourage Jack to move.

Jack blinked slowly at him, clearly still half asleep. "Work can wait."

"No, sir, you need to get up. Come on," Ianto tugged off the duvet. "Get yourself showered and dressed and I'll have coffee ready for you, OK?"

Jack grumbled but got out of bed, gathering his clothes from the floor. Ten minutes later he was walking into the kitchen with a scowl on his face. "I have to call Saxon today," Jack complained, accepting the coffee Ianto handed him.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Ianto replied, sipping his own coffee.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll survive. You have a request for tonight's dinner?"

"I'll cook."

Jack nodded curtly. "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. About cutting you off like that."

"It's OK, Jack. I — I don't know if I do or not, and even if I do, it's too soon to say it. It's better that I didn't say it."

Jack nodded again. "See you tonight," he muttered, handing his mug back to Ianto and disappearing out the front door. Ianto rushed after him.

"What, no kiss?" Ianto shouted down the hall. Jack, barely past the neighboring door, turned back and walked up to Ianto. He cupped Ianto's cheek with his hand, stroking his thumb over Ianto's lips.

"Don't get greedy," Jack hissed. He pecked Ianto on the lips and turned, his coattails flying behind him as he walked briskly away.

***TW TW TW***

At quarter past six in the evening, Jack texted Ianto to let him know that he was out on a Rift call and wouldn't be on time. Ianto wished him luck. By midnight, with no further word from Jack, Ianto went to bed alone.

Day 25

With no sign of Jack, Ianto spent the day doing paperwork and trying not to worry. He considered calling Jack, but decided against it. Clearly, Jack needed his space, and Ianto understood, even if he didn't like it.

Jack and Owen arrived at lunchtime with another set of boxes, taking the ones Ianto had finished with. Apparently Jack had been pushing everyone very hard over the last few weeks to finish up backlogged paperwork, and this was the last part of that.

"As of today, we're caught up," Jack said proudly, patting the stack of boxes. "Want me to bring anything tonight?"

"Haven't had a good fish and chips in a while," Ianto replied, hoping his voice didn't sound as hesitant as it did in his head as he gave Owen a Thermos of coffee for the rest of the team. Jack was putting on a show for Owen's benefit, and Ianto had no idea why.

"Will do," Jack answered cheerily, though Ianto could tell it was forced. "Come on, Owen, work to do." Jack hung back as Owen left. He glanced at Ianto out of the corner of his eyes, his expression unreadable.

"Jack?" Ianto asked. "Is everything OK?"

Without saying anything, Jack turned and left the flat. If he had looked behind him, he would have seen a look of profound sadness on Ianto's face.

That night when the doorbell rang at precisely 8pm, Ianto felt an irrational surge of pleasure that Jack had come, after the tense atmosphere between them that afternoon. He went to answer the door.

"Fish and chips, as requested," Jack declared, holding up a take away bag. He smiled apologetically at Ianto. "Sorry about this afternoon." Ianto returned the smile shyly and accepted the food.

"Thanks, Jack. Come in." With a motion of his hand, he indicated for Jack to follow him to the kitchen. He distributed the food between two plates and slid them into their accustomed spots at the kitchen bar. They ate in silence. When they were finished, Jack cleared his throat.

"Ianto, I need to apologize." He turned to face Ianto and reached over to take his hand. "The other day, I freaked out, a bit. I didn't expect anything like what you almost said, and I didn't react well. I'm sorry."

"You said you couldn't deal with the heartache."

"I can't die," Jack said sadly. "You can. All my partners can. It's as simple as that."

Ianto nodded silently. "The deeper the connection, the stronger your loss when you lose us."

"Basically."

"So, what, you hold yourself away from everyone? You keep us all at a distance?"

"It hurts too much, otherwise," Jack whispered.

"Well, it hurts us, too. Did you consider that? Every time you deny yourself a connection, you deny us, and you know what? We could be something special. But you'll never find out, will you? Because you're too scared of being hurt."

"Ianto—"

"I think you should go for the night," Ianto said coldly. Jack opened his mouth to protest, but quickly closed it. With a resigned sigh, he gathered his greatcoat from the hall and left the flat.

"I'll be back tomorrow," he said, trying for a normal tone of voice, though it was clear to both of them that he was unhappy.

Day 26

By seven-thirty in the evening, when his doorbell rang, Ianto had stoically finished most of the work that had been dropped off the day before. Doing a lot of paperwork at one time had made everyone more efficient, and he was glad for it, as it made his own work easier. He pushed himself up from his table and went to answer the door.

_It can't be Jack_, Ianto thought. _He hasn't been early once this month. And he's been clear with the others that they have to come at eight, except for Owen's medical visits. Plus, we're kind of fighting right now._

Gwen stood in the doorway, her finger poised over the doorbell, debating whether or not to ring it again. She gave Ianto a huge gap-toothed smile and breezed into his flat, dropping her purse on the small table in the hallway and wandering around. Ianto closed his door and watched in annoyance as she inspected his living room and the picture of him with Lisa he kept on his mantle.

"Something I can do for you, Gwen?" he asked after a few minutes of awkward silence. She turned to him and smiled again, and he was sure it didn't reach her eyes.

"It's been a while," she began. "I thought I'd come by and have a little chat."

"Oh," Ianto muttered. "Um, OK. Did Jack send you?"

"Jack? No. But that's what I wanted to talk about with you, actually. You see, Jack's been acting strange, recently, and I thought you'd know why."

"He has?" Ianto asked.

"He's been moody and grumpy for days. And you know him, he's never grumpy. A little cross, maybe, but nothing like this. So I figured, he's been here checking up on you a lot, and it all started after that trip of his, which was really an excuse to see you, right? So that means you two had a fight." She paused dramatically. "You know you can talk to me about anything," she added.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ianto managed, sitting on the arm of his sofa, watching her as she paced around his living room. _Moody and grumpy? Has he been effected by what we've been going through? Is he upset, too? Did he actually want me to say I loved him and was disappointed when I took it back? God, his mood swings are hard to keep up with this week._

"So, the way I see it," Gwen continued. "You need to keep away from him."

"What?" Ianto demanded angrily. "Do I need to remind you that I've been confined to my flat for the past month and that he's the only person I've seen?"

"I know Owen and Tosh have been by to see you."

"Yeah, Owen's given me a check up twice, and Tosh came over twice when Jack couldn't."

"Listen to me, Ianto. Torchwood's not the same when Jack's upset like this. If you have anything to do with it, you need to stop it. We need Jack at his best, and he hasn't been the last couple of weeks."

Before Ianto could say anything in response, Jack's usual enthusiastic ringing of the doorbell interrupted them. Ianto sighed and went to answer. He raised an eyebrow at Jack, who stood in the doorway looking forlorn.

"Can I come in?" Jack asked hesitantly. "I'm on my own roller-coaster, it seems, and I figure the best thing to do about it is talk to each other, right?"

Ianto's eyes flicked briefly to the living room. His lips twitched into a slight smile. "That sounds like a good idea. Later though. For now, I'll make coffee for us all."

"Us all?" Jack asked, suddenly tense. "No one else should be here."

Gwen sidled into the entryway. "Hello, Jack. I was just chatting with Ianto."

Jack's eyes flashed in anger. "I thought I told you to go home to Rhys."

"Well, I hadn't seen Ianto in almost a month, so I thought I'd stop by on my way home."

Jack crossed his arms over his chest, meeting her eyes with his usual intensity. Gwen mimicked his stance, crossing her arms. They stared at each other.

"If you wouldn't mind, Gwen, Jack and I have a few work things to go over," Ianto said into the tense silence. She turned to look at him with a strange expression on her face.

"I can help you with your work," she protested.

"No," Jack said, shaking his head. "I'll deal with you in the morning, Gwen. Go." He manhandled her out of the door, closing and locking it behind her. He grunted and ran his fingers through his hair. "Well, that was unpleasant," he muttered.

"You didn't send her?" Ianto asked.

"Of course not!" Jack answered quickly. "I'm really annoyed at her lately. She's been trying to get out of the chore assignments."

"Can't have that," Ianto replied. "Did you bring dinner?"

"No, I just wanted to stop by. There's a Rift alert predicted for ten, so I can't stay, anyway. Tosh says it's going to be organic, so I'll have Owen and her with me."

"Not Gwen?"

"As I said, I'm annoyed with her."

"Will you come back here, after?"

"Do you want me to?" Jack asked.

"I've liked having you in my bed," Ianto replied. "And you wanted to talk…" Jack smiled, the soft smile he seemed to reserve for Ianto alone.

Day 27

Ianto woke to find that Jack must have returned after his cleanup mission, as he was being spooned by the other man. He idly traced patterns along Jack's arm as he thought about the past month.

_Do I know where I stand with him?_ Ianto asked himself. _Do I know where I stand with the others? I know Lisa died back in London. I know I made a huge mistake. I almost destroyed the world. And yet, here's Jack, still coming around. He was upset I almost said I loved him. For a moment I thought I'd screwed everything up. That he'd just reject me completely. He was going to. If I hadn't gotten him to turn around and get back in bed, he would've done it._

_The whole thing's so confusing! One minute he's saying that he's not good at casual, that what we have is more than just shagging, the next he's keeping me from saying that I love him. Of course, I don't know if I do or not. I was getting close before all this shit came crashing down. And after the way we made love the other night…_

_He's not a man to love. I keep coming back to that. He won't love me back. He said it very clearly. No matter what happens, he won't love me. I think he used the word "can't."_

_A part of me just wants to admit it, to say, yes, I love him, and be done with it. But I know that's not the right thing to do. I'll just get hurt._

_Do I love him? I respect him. I trust him. I believe in him, and his mission, and his desire to protect humanity. I love the sex. I like waking up with him. I like spending time with him, even though I know that as soon as my suspension's over he'll stop coming around. It'll be back to quick shags around the Hub. Easier. We won't have time to think about feelings because we'll be so busy working._

_So I guess that's the answer. Once I'm back at work, this little bubble of comfort, of talking about feelings, of sleeping and eating together, domesticity, almost, will burst, and it'll be raw, hot sex and flirting in front of the others and finding stolen moments. No more guaranteed time together, like we've had this month._

_I know I'll feel lonely. I know I'll miss being closer to him. I'll miss the normalcy. I'll miss the tenderness we found. The understanding._

_But can I really go back to casual after tasting this?_

Ianto sighed sadly. Jack rolled over onto his back, releasing him. Ianto watched as Jack blinked sleep from his eyes.

"_Asha_?" Jack asked. "Everything OK?"

"What does that mean?" Ianto wondered aloud. "You keep calling me that. _Asha_ and _ashe_. They're connected, right?"

"Same root," Jack answered absently. "It's just a pet name, Ianto. It doesn't mean anything."

"Oh."

Jack sat up and looked around the room before settling his eyes on Ianto's face. "Do you mind?"

"I guess not. It's just one of your secrets, isn't it? You're not going to tell me?"

"Nope. And don't bother asking Tosh. The language hasn't been invented yet, and I didn't give her any words when she was gathering data for her translation program."

Ianto nodded. "All right, then. I'll live with yet another of your secrets, I suppose. Do you want breakfast?" Jack grinned hugely, agreeing.

"I have to go to London for a few days," Jack said fifteen minutes later over coffee and toast. "Saxon and Frobisher are making trouble, and I need to talk to the Queen and her advisers."

"Wow. The Queen?"

"She's very nice. She likes that I flirt with her."

"Cheeky," Ianto replied.

"She's a big fan of the Doctor, so we have that to talk about, too," Jack added. "So, I was thinking, if you feel up to it, you could come back to work on Tuesday. That's when I'll get back, too, so we can greet the team together. I'll be there by nine-ish, so you could come in at ten?"

"That would be fine. I should be done with all the filing by then."

"Good. I'll send Owen by to do a final physical to medically clear you."

"What are the others thinking, about me? Are they still angry?"

Jack paused. "Tosh, I think, has forgiven you. She's seen you the most this month, after all, and she saw you the other day with those nightmares. Owen, he's his usual self. You know what that's like, but I think he's going to be fine. The two of them have reasons to give you the second chance you deserve. And Gwen? She's still angry, but she's trying to get over it. I've been talking to her, and she doesn't understand why you'd do it." Jack sighed. "She doesn't have the life experiences to understand."

"As long as she doesn't call me 'pet' or 'love,' I think I'll be OK," Ianto said with a slight sparkle in his eye.

"You know she will," Jack said.

"Just one of the hazards of the job," Ianto added playfully. "That and fending you off."

"You love it," Jack answered, reaching across for Ianto's hand.

"I do," Ianto said, a small smile on his face. "I've been making a list of places around the Hub where we need to shag."

"Oh?"

"First on the list is Gwen's desk."

"Oh ho! Your vindictive side is coming out again. I think I like that. We've already done it on her desk, though."

"Doesn't mean we can't do it again. It's a new start for us. We'll have to go through all the places we've been, and the ones I've added."

"Sounds like a challenge."

"I know how you like challenges, sir."

Jack grinned. They sat in silence for a moment, looking into each other's eyes. "Are we OK, Ianto?" Jack finally asked.

"You tell me. You're the one who's been pretty much avoiding me the past few days."

"I guess I have been," Jack replied ruefully. "I'm sorry."

"I'm getting used to it," Ianto said. "Things will be different when I'm back at work, though," he added, wondering how much of his earlier thoughts he should mention.

Jack pressed his lips into a thin line as he thought about what Ianto said. "We'll be busier. I won't be able to make time for you like I've been doing this month."

"I thought as much."

"Does that upset you?"

"Honestly? Yes." Ianto took a deep breath before continuing. "It's been —" Ianto paused to search for a word that wouldn't offend or upset Jack. "It's been kind of nice, knowing we'd have time together each day. It's started to feel good. Normal. As normal as anything gets around here."

"Ianto, we have to go back to casual," Jack blurted suddenly. Ianto looked up sharply to meet Jack's eyes. "I can't do it any other way. I can't offer you anything else."

"Um, really? I mean, we've said a lot of things lately —" Ianto paused. "You said you weren't good at casual, that what we have isn't casual."

"It has to be. That's what I'm offering. And the others can't know. As far as they know, it ended this month, if they knew anything was happening before."

"So that's it?" Ianto demanded angrily. "Secret, casual sex around the Hub? Nothing else?"

"Take it or leave it," Jack said, standing, his posture daring Ianto to defy him.

Ianto stood as well. They stared at each other for a long moment. Ianto tilted his head to the side, trying to read the emotions in Jack's eyes, finding his expression unusually closed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Then I guess it's over," Ianto whispered. "I'll see you on Tuesday, sir. You can see yourself out." He turned abruptly and left the kitchen, retreating to his bedroom. He slammed the door and sat down leaning against it, fighting tears. "How can you do this, Jack?" he asked softly. "I thought we were more than that." He drew his knees up against his chest and hugged them. Despair washed over him as he heard the distant sound of the front door closing.

Day 28

"Well, mate, you look like shit," Owen exclaimed when he came with his med kit around lunchtime. Ianto had just gotten out of the shower, where he'd cried and tried to convince himself that he'd made the right decision to end things with Jack.

"Don't hold back your opinion, or anything," Ianto griped, leading Owen to the living room. "Jack and I ended things. It's taking some getting used to."

Owen paused in getting his equipment ready to take a long look at Ianto. "Jeez, didn't know you were that serious about him."

"I didn't either, but it kind of happened." Ianto slumped down onto the couch. "He said that once I was back at work, it was casual or nothing. I couldn't bear to go back to that." Ianto sighed. "We'd gotten close, this month. I thought it was more than sex. Clearly, he didn't."

"He's a bastard, all right," Owen muttered.

"Yeah," Ianto agreed quietly.

They didn't talk much as Owen did his exam. When he finished, he gathered up his equipment, handed Ianto his new security card, PDA, keys and passcodes, and went to the door.

"Look, try not to get too down about it, OK?"

"It's hard, Owen. I've lost them both now, in such a short amount of time."

"Well, you can always come out on the pull with me," Owen offered. Ianto shook himself in horror.

"No, thank you."

"Don't say I didn't offer. See you Tuesday?"

"Yeah."

Ianto slumped on his sofa. He knew it would be a long three days until he was supposed to be back at work, and now that Jack wouldn't be coming around, he wasn't sure what to do with himself.


	31. Chapter 31: Small Worlds

A/N: The angst continues this chapter. Now that Ianto is back at work, what will happen with Jack? Warnings for smut and BDSM in this chapter... Enjoy!

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 31: Small Worlds**

After two full days of worry, with no word from Jack, not that he expected to hear from him when he was in London with _the Queen_, Ianto decided that going to the Hub a few hours early wouldn't be the worst offense. Jack would forgive him, even if they were in this no-man's land in terms of their relationship. So, dressed in a suit for the first time in a month, Ianto found himself letting himself into the Hub at quarter past four in the morning on Tuesday. He chose one of the back entrances rather than the cog door, knowing that he didn't want to surprise anyone if they were there, after all. Besides, he had four boxes of files to return to the Archives.

The Hub was empty, the lights on standby. He noticed that Jack had left on the small lamps in his office, and wondered idly if they'd been on the entire time Jack had been away or if someone else had been using his office and forgotten to turn them off, as happened with most of the computers around the workstations.

Evidence that Jack thought of him were everywhere. On the coffee machine was a (very large) note warning people away from touching it or facing Ianto's (and, consequently, Jack's) wrath. On the cog door was a note (not quite as large, but big nonetheless) asking if they'd thrown away their rubbish. Similar notes were posted at regular intervals. On the door to the Archives was a series of orders. _(Do not go into the Archives. Ask Jack to get files for you. Leave completed paperwork in the boxes provided. Make sure you put the file underneath the new tech when you put in on the shelf to be sorted.) _In the autopsy bay was a note to Owen reminding him that he had to clean up after himself. On the supply closet was a note telling everyone to fill out requisition forms if they used up anything. On the conference room door was a schedule for feeding and cleaning the Weevils and Myfanwy, as well as anyone (anything) else staying with Torchwood in the cells. He noted that Jack took most of the Myfanwy duties and smiled. Directly over Gwen's desk was a note telling her that she was responsible for her own recycling (mostly paper) and listed five locations of recycling bins, not including the one at her feet as she sat at her desk. In the Tourist Office, on his computer, was an unobtrusive sticky note in Jack's handwriting simply stating "_I miss you." _

Ianto smiled again, inexplicably happy. He had no idea when Jack had written the note, but that Jack thought to write it, even when he saw Ianto every night at his flat, meant a lot. He wondered if going back to "casual" sex might be a way to get their relationship back on track, without having to talk about it. That's what had happened before, after all. Casual sex led to something deeper that they hadn't talked about. He sighed. Five in the morning was probably not the best time to be making that kind of decision, and Jack had been so hot and cold towards him this last week, he wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to make that decision.

Back in the main Hub, a program Tosh left running overnight beeped at him. _Strange weather patterns in a wooded area,_ he thought, examining the report. Remembering something similar from a file from 1973 that included a missing child, he went to the Archives to retrieve the relevant file.

"You shouldn't be here."

Jack's quiet voice startled Ianto as he returned to the main Hub with his file. He looked up from the folder to see Jack leaning against his desk, bathed in the yellow light of his lamps. Jack had his hands in his pockets in a seemingly casual and relaxed gesture, but his posture was slightly off, tense, as if he'd just woken from a nightmare. Ianto's eyes raked over Jack's half-dressed form, admiring the view of Jack's chest outlined by the white t-shirt.

"Neither should you," Ianto replied. He shut the folder and turned back to his workstation. He sat on his chair and looked over the computer readings. Jack walked over and laid a hand on Ianto's shoulder. Startled again, Ianto glanced back, wondering what Jack was up to. Jack patted his shoulder and took his hand away.

"What have you got?" Jack asked.

"Funny sort of weather patterns."

Jack pulled over a chair and settled on it backwards, leaning his forearms on the back of the chair. "Is this the only reading we have?"

"So far. Tosh wasn't looking for it specifically, but it was called in to 999 by someone and one of the alert programs picked it up."

"Ah."

"Shall I put an alert for weather-related calls?"

"Please."

Ianto typed away for a few minutes.

"How are you, Ianto?" Jack asked, breaking the silence. "I see you're here early."

"Couldn't sleep. Couldn't seem to concentrate on anything else. I figured coming here would at least keep me busy."

"Have you had nightmares the past few days?"

Ianto paused his typing to look at Jack briefly. He pressed his lips into a thin line and returned his attention to the alert he was working on. "Yes," he said softly.

"Bad ones?"

"Nothing I needed to call you about."

"That doesn't answer the question."

Ianto sighed. "They're going to be bad for a long time. I know that. Since we're not — anything — I can't keep relying on you to see me through them. Besides, you weren't even in town."

"Just because we're not shagging anymore doesn't mean we can't be friends," Jack said. "You can always call me."

"You…want to be friends with me?" Ianto asked hesitantly, turning from the computer to meet Jack's eyes.

"You know things about me no one else does. It would be nice if we could be friends and still be able to talk."

Ianto nodded to himself. "All right, then. Friends." Jack smiled and reached over to squeeze Ianto's upper arm.

"Thanks."

"Would you like some coffee?"

"Do you really need to ask?" Jack replied, grinning.

"No, I suppose not."

"Bring it to my office," Jack said, standing. "I'll tell you about Lahore in 1909."

"Oh?"

"I don't believe in coincidences, and I dreamed about it just now. There are strange weather patterns, just as there were back then. And an old friend of mine has a lecture today about fairies, so, yeah, I think something's going on. All we need is a missing child, and we'll have all the pieces."

"I found a file that had some of the same things from 1973. Strange weather and a missing child," Ianto offered. He held up the file.

"Hmm, I was on another mission when this went down," Jack commented, looking at the file. "I don't think I knew this happened. Good work finding it."

"Just doing my job."

"I'll see you in a few," Jack said, rising and taking the folder with him to his office.

***TW TW TW***

Ianto followed about five minutes behind the SUV in his own car on the way to Estelle Cole's house. When he arrived at the house, Tosh and Owen were standing around the SUV, but Jack and Gwen were nowhere to be seen.

"They're around back," Owen said. "There's a body. Human. Friend of Jack's. Don't know if he wants an autopsy or not."

Ianto nodded and opened the boot of the SUV to collect a body bag. There were tears on Jack's face as Ianto passed Jack and Gwen on the path to the back. Jack stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"No autopsy," he said in a choked voice. "She doesn't have any family, but I'd like a memorial service. Think you can set something up?"

"Of course. I'll bring you the details when I'm finished."

"Thank you."

Two hours later, Ianto knocked on Jack's office door and walked in. Jack looked up from contemplating his desk blotter and the empty glass of scotch in his hand. He looked almost haunted. Silently, Jack poured more scotch into his glass and grabbed one for Ianto. Ianto accepted the glass and handed over the folder in his hands. He settled into the visitor's chair as Jack looked over what he'd done.

"You wrote this obituary?" Jack finally asked.

"Yes. It still needs your approval, of course."

Jack sipped his drink. "I met her during the war, in London."

"You loved her," Ianto stated.

"I did."

"Tell me about her?"

Jack's lips twitched. He swallowed his scotch in one gulp and stood. "We'll be more comfortable on the couch," he murmured. Ianto agreed and followed him to the couch in the main Hub. Sitting down together, Jack allowed Ianto to hold him as he cried. Over the course of the next few hours, they talked about Estelle. They spoke of the fairies she was so obsessed with, and how they were responsible for her death. He talked about how he watched over her from a distance for years, before finally meeting up with her again a few years ago, using the ruse of being his own son. Finally, Jack fell into a fitful sleep, resting his head on Ianto's thigh.

***TW TW TW***

Jack felt warm when he woke, curled on the ratty sofa with Ianto's suit jacket covering him. Unconsciously, he smelled the collar, sighing at the comforting smell of coffee, aftershave, and Ianto's unique scent that permeated the fabric. He pulled his comms out of his pocket and fitted it to his ear.

"Ianto? Are you still here?" He heard a small beep as the system activated on the other side, followed by a sleepy grunt. "Ianto?"

"_Jack?" _

"Where are you?"

"_Bunker,"_ came the soft response. Ianto yawned.

Jack smiled to himself and gathered the jacket before climbing the stairs to his office and descending the ladder. He slipped into his room and turned to see Ianto curled up in his bed. After hanging the jacket in his wardrobe with the rest of Ianto's clothing, he sat on the edge of the bed and took off his boots.

"Shove over," Jack said. Ianto blinked slowly but complied, not protesting when Jack crawled under the blanket with him. Ianto shifted so that their legs and arms were wrapped around each other. Ianto was naked other than his boxer briefs, Jack noted. Ianto nuzzled Jack's neck. They kissed chastely. "Thank you for listening to me," Jack whispered, running his fingers through Ianto's hair and down Ianto's back.

"That's what friends are for," Ianto responded, kissing Jack once more before pulling Jack's head down to rest on his chest, quickly falling asleep again.

_Friends, _Jack mused. _It's been a long time since I've had a friend who's known so much about me. He listened. He listened and didn't judge how I left her, how I __had_ _to leave her, so that she wouldn't find out that I didn't age. He let me talk, and didn't offer platitudes or ask questions, like Gwen did. He seemed to understand. I told him a lot more than I told Gwen. It was just so easy to keep talking. _

_Goddess, what am I going to do? I'll fall in love with him again, if this continues, even if we're not having sex. And I'll break his heart again when I have to leave with the Doctor. I can't let that happen. I can't hurt him any more than I already have. I can't let him love me. _

_I didn't think he'd reject me like that the other day. I thought he'd accept having a sexual relationship, even if that's all it was. He likes the sex. I know it. I didn't think he'd be willing to give it up. But if all I'm offering is casual, and that's not enough for him… that's all there is to say, then. _

Jack sighed and closed his eyes.

_They say on Boshane that to find your true love, your soulmate, your __ashe te'hanna__, you have to break each other's hearts three times and come back once more. I broke his heart already. I don't even know if he loved me, though he almost said it the other day. God, I couldn't have heard that, even if it __was_ _just post-coital ramblings. It cut too close to my own feelings. _

_Even so, I broke his heart by killing Lisa. And he broke mine by betraying me. I didn't expect fidelity. I wouldn't have minded if he'd had another lover. I didn't expect that he'd love me, even though I'd come to love him. But to keep that monster here, to trick me, to use me, to seduce me and lie to me and lie to me again and again… he called me a monster…_

_How well he knows me. He might not know the details, but I __am_ _a monster. _

_And here I am, coming back for more. _

_I've been calling him __ashe_ _all month. Have I called anyone else that on this planet? I can't remember. Have I called anyone else that, anywhere? How did it get so deep? _

Jack opened his eyes and stared into the darkness.

_Casual,_ he decided_. It has to be casual. I can't let it be love again. For either of us. If he expects more, it will become more, but casual, we can do that. _

_God, it's going to hurt being cold to him, but it's for his own good. _

***TW TW TW***

Waking up in Jack's bunker, in Jack's arms, with Jack's scent permeating the air, with Jack's lips kissing along his neck and Jack's erection pressing against his hip, had to be one of the best experiences of his life, Ianto decided, even if Jack was fully clothed. He opened his eyes. He smiled at Jack and kissed him, pulling the older man tighter against him. Jack's hands tangled in his hair.

They kissed for five and a half minutes before the alarm on Ianto's cell phone went off. Ianto pulled away, groaning in frustration.

"Time to get up, sir," he murmured as he kissed along Jack's jaw. "Work to do. We have a child to find."

"You take the shower here," Jack said, throwing off the covers. "No need for you to get dressed just to cross the Hub and get undressed at the showers all over again. I'll meet you in my office in a bit. Bring coffee?" Ianto smiled and agreed. Jack stood and gathered clean clothes from his closet and dresser.

Ianto shimmied out of his boxers as soon as Jack disappeared up the ladder, but didn't immediately get up. One last wank in Jack's bed, Ianto thought, squeezing a bit of lube onto his hand. He groaned again as the cool liquid slid against his skin.

_So sleeping in the same bed and snogging are all part of being friends with Jack Harkness?_ he wondered._ I think I could get used to that. It won't last for very long. He can't keep his hands off me, and I can't seem to keep mine off him, either. We'll be shagging again in no time if we keep this up._

_But I don't want to shag. I want to make love. Like we've done twice before. Only, the first time, I didn't recognize it for what it was, and the second time, it turned into goodbye, because he freaked out about it._

_Everything goes to shit when we make love. First time, the night before Tanizaki arrived, it was glorious. He was so tender with me. Like I was the most important person in the whole universe and he was going to show me through his actions. And with Jack, he's seen the universe, so to feel like that, like he would cross the stars just to be with me… intoxicating. Then we had a Cyberman in our basement and everything I'd worked for the last seven months blew up in my face and I was sure he'd hate me and we'd be fucking angrily for the rest of forever, if we fucked at all._

_The second time, when he came back from Flat Holm, it was even better. I don't know if it was his fear that I was hurt (or running), or my terror from the nightmares and relief that he was there, but that was definitely love-making. And that time, there was no ghost of Lisa hanging over us. But then I almost said I loved him and he freaked out, and everything between us went to shit again._

_Maybe we have to stay away from making love if we want it to work and not go to shit? Maybe casual really is the way to go?_

_He's so — mercurial. His moods change so quickly. He's volatile. He's emotional. He's able to switch from one emotive state to another at the drop of a hat. And yet he's loyal. He's devoted. He'll always see the best in us until we screw up, and then he'll still give us a second chance._

_This month —_

_We've both had our share of mood swings. He's not the only one, and I have to admit that. Hell, I sent him away last week when he said it hurt too much for him to get close to me. What's that, if not a mixed message?_

_I can't imagine what it's like for him. To lose everyone he's ever cared about, time after time. To know he'll never grow old with someone. I lost Lisa, and that almost broke me, and we'd only been together a year and a half. What would have happened if I hadn't had Jack?_

_What must it be like for him?_

_No wonder he hides away here at Torchwood and avoids romantic entanglements._

_But to be alone forever… I couldn't imagine it. I couldn't do it._

_Jack, Jack, what are you doing to me? Why do I spend my days thinking about you? Trying to figure you out? Why do I still want you?_

"Ianto?"

Ianto's eyes flew open at Jack's soft question. Jack stood at the base of the ladder, freshly showered and fully dressed, a pile of clothes under one arm.

"I thought you'd at least go to the shower for that," Jack said, trying for a relaxed tone of voice that just sounded strained in the close confines of the bunker. "I mean, I gave you more than enough time to get there."

"What, upset to find me wanking in your bed?" Ianto asked. He rubbed his thumb over the head of his cock, hissing at the increased jolt of pleasure. "I would've thought you'd want to join in," he continued, raising an eyebrow in a come-hither motion.

Jack gasped and dropped the clothing, revealing the unmistakable bulge of an erection in his trousers. He stepped back to lean against the ladder, grabbing the edges in a white-knuckled grip to keep from moving forward.

"Wanting to join and doing something about it are very different things," Jack finally replied, his eyes tracking the movement of Ianto's cock as it slid up and down in his fist. "We're not doing this kind of thing anymore."

"What if I said I was OK with casual?" Ianto wondered. He licked the fingers of his free hand and pressed one into his asshole.

"Ianto…"

"Take me, Jack. Today only. One time offer. Any way you want."

"_Any_ way?"

Ianto bit his lip in the way he knew drove Jack wild. "Whatever you want, Jack. Just make your decision soon, because the offer's off the table once I come."

With a growl, Jack lunged across the room. "On your front, Child's Pose," he ordered. Ianto rushed to comply, a small part of him wondering at Jack's choice of a yoga pose designed for relaxation for sex. By the time he was settled on his knees with his head down and arms in front of him, Jack had managed to get naked and was reaching for the second drawer of his nightstand. Jack yanked Ianto's arms back and held his wrists behind him with his left hand as he pulled out a pair on handcuffs with the right. Ianto sucked in a sharp breath in anticipation. _Oh God, he's going to — It's been so long since we've had a good scene…_ His cock jumped, straining against his belly, demanding attention. He whimpered, rutting against his own thigh.

Jack slapped his ass, hard. "Don't move," he hissed. He snapped a cuff on Ianto's left wrist.

"Yellow," Ianto gasped. "No cuffs, please. Rope or leather would be OK."

Jack undid the cuff and dropped it to the floor with a metallic clank. He caressed Ianto's ass gently where he'd slapped it. "Good boy," Jack murmured. "Good boy, knowing your limits and safewords." He produced a set of shears from the drawer and put it on the nightstand in plain sight. He bent forward to kiss the back of Ianto's neck.

"These're from my time. They'll cut anything this century has to offer, even the cuffs, so don't worry, OK?"

"I trust you, Jack."

"Good." Jack licked along Ianto's neck before biting his shoulder. "Now start calling me 'sir.'"

"Yes, sir," Ianto answered promptly.

"Anything off the table?" Jack asked. conversationally as he tied Ianto's arms behind his back with a length of climbing rope from the drawer. "How's the tightness?"

"I want you to mark me, sir," Ianto blurted, as startled as Jack by what came out of his mouth.

"Mark you? How?"

"Give me a bruise to remember today." _So I know I'm yours… so I know we're still doing this… so I know that you still want me… so I know I'm still important to you…_

"You sure?"

"Yes, sir."

Jack grinned. "Let's play a little game, then, shall we?"

"What's the game, _sir_?" Ianto purred, drawing out the last word, knowing how Jack loved it.

"For the next hour, you're mine. I _own_ you." Jack ran his hands over Ianto's ass again. "I can be a very possessive man, Mr. Jones, and I don't particularly like sharing."

"Better make the best of it then, sir, before I become my own man again," Ianto quipped. _For all his talk, he's really insecure… He just wants to know I'm not going anywhere, that I'm still into him… We're so similar in that respect… We want each other, but can't really admit it. Not fully._

Lubed fingers prodded at Ianto's opening as Jack prepared him roughly. Impatient, he barely gave Ianto time to adjust before replacing his fingers with his cock. Ianto moaned loudly.

"Yes, sir, take me," Ianto gasped out around ragged breaths as Jack set a punishing pace. "Make me yours!"

"You. Are. Mine!" Jack slapped Ianto's ass as he thrust into him. "Mine. You hear me? No one else goes near you, you understand?" Another slap, another hard thrust.

"Yes. Yes!" Ianto shouted.

Another slap. "Say it."

"I'm yours!"

"Again."

"I'm yours!"

Jack pulled Ianto up so that he was sitting on Jack's legs, Jack's cock still buried in him. He moaned at the new angle. Ianto's cock bobbed in front of him.

"Your ass is mine," Jack snarled.

"Yes, sir."

"Your cock is mine," Jack added, reaching around to take hold of it.

"Yes, sir."

"What happens if anyone else touches you?" Jack twisted his wrist, squeezing as he did so, sending Ianto to a higher plain of pleasure.

"No one else will touch me, sir. Only you." _Only you, Jack,_ Ianto promised himself. _Whatever may come of it, I've made my decision. Only you. However you'll have me._

"Good," Jack whispered. He sucked on the side of Ianto's neck hard enough to leave the bruise Ianto wanted.

***TW TW TW***

Jack collapsed on top of Ianto, panting. Without looking, he reached for the shears on the bedside table to cut Ianto's hands free. Ianto took the opportunity to rub his wrists before wrapping his arms around Jack. He kissed Jack's sweaty forehead.

"Never pegged you for the possessive type," Ianto finally said. "For someone who doesn't do monogamy, it seems hypocritical."

"I'm a walking contradiction," Jack replied. "It makes it difficult to be with me." Ianto shrugged, not responding. Jack's wriststrap beeped. Jack picked it up from the floor and looked at the tiny display. "Gwen just arrived."

"She's early. She's never beaten Tosh in before."

"She probably wants to console me about Estelle again," Jack muttered.

"Do you need it? Consolation?" Ianto asked. He stroked Jack's back.

"No. You helped me."

"I did?"

"You listened without asking questions," Jack explained. "You just let me talk." He laughed quietly to himself. "And this, just now… It probably won't shock you to know that I use sex as a way to move on from painful things."

"That's me, Ianto Jones, sex therapist," Ianto joked.

"Thank you for today," Jack said seriously.

As Ianto was about to respond, they heard the cog wheel door open. Gwen entered Jack's office almost immediately afterwards. Ianto scrambled out of bed and dashed to the bathroom, shutting the door just as Gwen decided to look down the hatch.

"Jack!" Gwen shrieked, seeing him sprawled out naked on his bed.

"What?" Jack answered, casually covering himself with the sheet.

"You, um, you sleep naked?" she blurted.

"Sure. Doesn't everyone?" He grinned.


	32. Chapter 32: Countrycide

__**Torchwood Files  
**

**Chapter 32: Countrycide  
**

_Wednesday: _

_Jack "hot-and-cold-is-my-middle-name" Harkness sent everyone out on a tech run this afternoon so he could corner me in the Archives. He claimed he had a conference call with UNIT, otherwise they'd never have let him stay back here while they went out. _

_When he shoved me against the filing cabinets and kissed me, I expected a little bit more than a snog. I didn't get it. As soon as I tried to take things farther than kissing, he froze and left. That's the third time in two weeks this has happened. _

_Afterwards, for the rest of the day, he avoided me. He didn't even ask for his coffee at the regular time. (And I was too annoyed with him to bring it without him asking.) He waited the three hours until the others were back, so that he could have some when I made it for them without having to ask me for it. _

_It's been very strange at work since I came back from my suspension. Jack's hot and cold. Owen's just as grumpy as usual, though there's something going on between him and Gwen, and that makes it worse. On second thought, I think it's more about what __hasn't_ _happened between them. Tosh actually smiles at me and thanks me when I do things for her. Gwen doesn't seem to know I exist. She ignores me most of the time, unless she sees me with Jack, in which case she'll try to get his attention away from me. I let her do it. _

_I'm not in the mood to fight for a man who treats me as if I'm invisible unless he wants something from me. _

_Where's the Jack who held me as I cried about Lisa? Where's the Jack who listen to me talk about her for hours at a time, who relived my life with her through my memories? Where's the Jack who forgave me? Where's the Jack who said we were more than just shagging? Where's the Jack who made love to me? _

_Thursday: _

_I found a note on my computer in the Tourist Office from Jack as soon as I walked in. "2pm, usual blind spot?" Clearly, he wants something sexual from me. All I can say is that it better be more than a snog! _

_Friday:_

_Never got to meet Jack yesterday. The Rift spat out an alien that was intent on killing as many people as it could. It had a blaster of some kind. Took all day to round it up. Twenty-seven deaths that Tosh and I had to fake. Our budget for planted witnesses this month will need to be modified. _

_Went home early. It was supposed to be my day off, but I'd been there since yesterday morning and they needed me at the Hub while they went after it. Jack called me to come back in to work an hour after I got home so I could kit out the SUV for camping. Apparently I'm going with the team to the Brecon Beacons. Team bonding, he called it. _

_Later— _

_Jack cornered me by the SUV as I was packing it. Before he could kiss me, I asked him what it was about, what it meant. He said that a snog between friends didn't mean anything. I think the word he used was: "nothing." As in: "It means nothing." _

_Well, fuck you, Harkness. I'm not going to sit down and take this. Either I mean something to you or I don't. _

_I should've known. I should've known that him calling me his when we fucked last was too good to be true. Just him playing around during a shag. "I'm a very possessive man," he said. Yeah, right. If he really meant all he said that morning, we'd still be together. I wouldn't be doubting him. I wouldn't be doubting my decision to break it off. _

_And we'd still be shagging. _

_When I told him I was his, I meant it. As long as I'm with Jack, no one else will ever touch me. I won't let them. As long as I'm with Jack, he'll never have to worry about me going anywhere. (Not that he worries about that kind of thing.) _

_But I guess I mean something else to him. I mean less than I thought I did. _

***TW TW TW***

Gunshots filled the room as Jack let loose his anger on the cannibals who had captured his team. Something held him back from killing them, however. Something called Ianto Jones, who wouldn't appreciate the extra deaths, despite the horrors they had committed and the deaths they had caused. Jack was a better man than he used to be, and he thought that Ianto had something to do with that. He jumped from the tractor to confront the head cannibal.

"Jack! No! You can't kill them!" Gwen shouted as he pointed his gun at the man's head. "I need to _understand_." She put a hand on his arm.

"Gwen! How can you defend them?" Tosh demanded. "They almost killed Ianto."

"Ianto —" Jack whispered. He looked around the room, his eyes settling on Ianto, lying on his side on the ground, a filthy gag in his mouth, covered in dirt and bruises, his eyes wide with terror.

"Almost bled him, is more like it," Owen muttered. "Like veal, he said. Sick fuck."

"Ianto —" Jack's eyes narrowed as he focused on Ianto and the trickle of blood across his neck where the dirty cleaver had just started to bite into the skin when Jack arrived. Jack's face drained of all color. Something snapped within him. "_Ashe!" _he screamed.

Another gunshot and the cannibal slumped, dead, to the floor, his head exploded from the impact of the bullet from Jack's gun.

"Jack!" Gwen screamed, wiping blood and brains from her cheek. "How could you do that?" Jack ignored her, crossing the room to Ianto.

"_Ashe, ashe'ha, a'kip seme heh?" _Jack demanded. He produced the 51st Century shears from his pocket and cut the gag from Ianto's mouth, then stroked his cheek. He cut off the handcuffs keeping Ianto's arms behind him. "_A'kip seme heh?" _

"Jack," Ianto groaned, blinking.

"_Ashe'ha," _Jack whispered. "_A'kap mon massa heh? A'kip seme heh?" _He gently prodded Ianto's head, noting the bumps and clotted blood from the beating he'd taken. "_Ashe'ha?" _

"Jack? How is he?" Owen asked from across the room where he was checking on Tosh and the others as best he could with his arms still captured. Jack ignored Owen, still examining Ianto for broken bones and other injuries.

"_Ashe? Heh'skinna ha. A'kap mon massa heh?" _Jack cupped Ianto's cheek. "_Heh'skinna ha." _

"Jack? I'm fine," Ianto protested. Jack shook his head in frustration. "_Kip seme ha. Kip seme ha." _

"_Ha'gethe Owen twinnit honta heh, ashe," _Jack answered. He kissed Ianto's forehead and left him for the other end of the room where he grabbed Owen by the shoulder and pushed him in the direction of Ianto after cutting his hands free. "_Owen, Ianto honta twinnit," _Jack ordered.

"Teaboy, you have any idea what he's saying?" Owen demanded as he got to his knees by Ianto. On the other side of the room, Jack freed Tosh and the others from the handcuffs keeping them captive. Tosh immediately began restraining the cannibals while Gwen called the police.

"I think I just told him I'm OK," Ianto answered, grimacing in pain as Owen poked at his ribs. "He asked me what happened, then told me he'd get you to look at me."

"How do you know that?"

"Pillow talk," Ianto answered, not caring at the blush that spread across his cheeks. "From months ago."

Owen grunted. "You've got a few cracked ribs, at the very least, and a concussion. I'll need to do a more in-depth scan when we get back to the Hub. That means no sex for the next week, and you can't be alone tonight. I'll tell Jack the same thing when he's back to himself."

"We're not —"

"Yeah, yeah, deny it all you want, but he likes a casual roll in the sheets even more than me, and he doesn't want anything to happen to his ever-ready shag. That'd be you, mate."

Ianto groaned. "Don't you have other people to be looking after?"

"If you think I'm giving these fuckers an ounce of care —"

"_Owen, a'kip seme Ianto?" _Jack asked, interrupting their conversation.

Owen stood, then helped Ianto stand. "He'll be fine," Owen answered. "Once you're speaking English again I'll tell you the rest." He pushed past Jack to tend to the others.

"Ianto?" Jack murmured, reaching forward to touch his arm.

"I want to go home," Ianto said. He stepped into Jack's embrace. "Take me home, please, and stay with me for the night." Jack nodded and kissed the top of his head.

"I will, _ashe'ha," _Jack answered, finding English again in his own head. "Anything you want." They held each other for a long time until Tosh came over and told them that the police where arriving. "Wait for me at the SUV?" Jack asked.

"Of course, _ashe," _Ianto replied, testing the unfamiliar word. Jack looked at him crookedly, surprise written across his face. Ianto raised an eyebrow in question.

"You know what that means?" Jack finally asked.

"No, but I've come to like hearing it. I thought you might, too."

"Wait at the car. We'll talk more later, OK?"

"I'll hold you to that, sir."

Ianto sat at the boot of the SUV for an hour while the police and ambulances rounded up the cannibals. Tosh came over at one point to offer him food, but he protested, too nauseated to consider it.

"You were amazing," Tosh said softly. "Thank you for saving me."

"You still got captured again," Ianto muttered.

"True, but I think the distraction kept them from killing us. I'll always be grateful."

Ianto nodded and smiled slightly. "Jack's the real hero, you know. He saved us all."

"It was a little strange, though, when he stopped speaking English, wasn't it?" Tosh wondered, settling down to sit with him.

"I think that's the language he grew up speaking," Ianto explained. "He's said bits and pieces sometimes, when it's just been us. Nothing quite like that, but I recognized it. And he's got that nickname for me, _ashe. _He won't tell me what it means." Ianto sighed. "Even now, that we're not together, he still calls me that."

"It must be important to him," Tosh suggested.

"Every time I think I understand that man, he goes and does something completely out of character. I can't get a handle on him."

"That's Jack, for you," Tosh said. She patted his knee.

***TW TW TW***

"Don't you have your own set?" Ianto asked when Jack took the keys from his hand to open the door to his flat because his own hands were shaking. Jack smiled grimly, not saying anything as he put an arm around Ianto's waist to help keep him standing. "You let yourself in a few times last month, didn't you?"

"That was different," Jack muttered under his breath.

"Everything all right here, boys?" asked a concerned female voice behind them. Jack and Ianto turned to meet the gaze of Mrs. Barry, Ianto's next door neighbor. "Oh my God! What happened to you?"

"Nothing to worry about, Sharon," Jack answered with one of his usual megawatt grins. "Ianto and I went camping this weekend, and ran into some unsavory types. He got a knock on the head defending me," Jack added. "I'm just making sure he makes it home safely."

"Oh, that's horrible! Did you call the police?"

"Of course. We were out at the Beacons, so it took a while for them to arrive."

"Well, you let me know if you need anything, you hear?" she said, patting Jack's shoulder. Ianto swayed on his feet, clutching at Jack to keep standing.

"Whoa there, tiger," Jack said, holding Ianto up. "Let's get you inside, OK? Thanks for the offer, Sharon, but I think we're fine," he added, winking at her.

Once inside the flat, Jack stripped Ianto and himself and got them both into the shower. He washed Ianto tenderly, then bustled him into bed.

"You want some more pain killers?" Jack asked as he smoothed Ianto's hair back from his forehead.

"Sure," Ianto replied with a smile. He captured Jack's hand and kissed it. "You'll stay?"

"I told you I would."

"Good."

"Besides, I have to wake you every few hours. Concussion watch."

"Ugh."

"Yeah, I know, but I don't want to be on the receiving end of one of Owen's lectures for letting you get sicker by being careless." Jack stepped out of the room briefly to return with a pair of blue pills and a glass of water. "This is one of Owen's special concoctions. It'll knock you out and should keep the pain under control for the rest of the night."

"Thanks, Jack. Thanks for everything."

Jack took the glass from Ianto and put in on the nightstand when he was finished. He climbed into bed and settled on his back, letting Ianto find the most comfortable position for his injuries.

"I was scared today," Ianto whispered into the silence after a long moment.

"I know. I was, too," Jack said. "When I saw what they'd almost done to you —"

"Jack—"

"— I lost it," Jack finished. "I just lost it." He sighed, pulling Ianto tighter against his side. "I haven't always been the hero, Ianto. I've done things you wouldn't imagine me capable of doing. Seeing you like that —" Jack broke off and drew a shaky breath. "Seeing you like that brought me back to those times."

"It's OK, Jack. I'm going to be fine." Ianto caressed Jack's chest in a comforting gesture.

"I killed a man today," Jack whispered. "In cold blood. It's been four years since I've done that."

"Seemed more like hot anger, from where I was," Ianto protested. "Cold blood is more premeditated. You didn't plan this. It just happened."

"I didn't have to kill him."

"No, but you weren't yourself, either."

"I wasn't," Jack agreed.

Silence stretched between them again.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"When I'm better, I want to have sex again."

"And you're telling me this because…?"

"I want it to be with you."

"Oh."

"Just something physical. I won't ask for more than that."

"Oh."

"Think about it," Ianto said, pressing a kiss to Jack's chest. "If all we are is friends who kiss and share a bed sometimes, I'm OK with that, too."

"Really?" Jack asked, his tone indicating that he wasn't sure he believed Ianto.

"Really," Ianto answered firmly. _Because kissing and cuddling will lead to more, and I need more from you, _Ianto thought to himself. _I need more, and this is the only way to get there that you'll accept. _He closed his eyes, letting the painkillers draw him into sleep.


	33. Chapter 33: Greeks Bearing Gifts

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 33: Greeks Bearing Gifts  
**

Ianto's ribs hurt, even with the painkillers Owen prescribed, even after a week since the incident with the cannibals. His heart hurt even more.

_Can't imagine a time when this isn't everything,_ he thought as he cleared the conference room of coffee cups. _The pain so constant, like my stomach's full of rats. Jack's barely looked at me in days. He hasn't asked how I am, or flirted with me, or tried to kiss me. Nothing. I'm alone again. Feels like this is all I am now. Alone. There isn't an inch of me that doesn't hurt. _

_I wish I knew what he was thinking. I know he enjoyed the sex. I know he wants something uncomplicated. Something casual. I told him I'd give him that. _

_And yet, he won't come near me. _

_He was really angry when I told the team that Lisa was the last person I snogged. As if they believed it! Gwen's the only one who doesn't know that we used to fuck, and how she never picked up on it is beyond me. She's got to be one of the stupidest women I've ever met. I mean, we were having sex the night Jack hired her! We didn't even have time to clean up before he had to save her from Suzie, just pulled on our clothes. _

_Sex on the roof of the Millennium Center. God, I'd like to do that again. If I can ever get him to kiss me, maybe I can work us up it. _

_Is that what this is about, though? That I denied that anything happened with him? But he's the one who told me that it had to be secret if we were going to do anything again! He's the one who told me that kissing me meant "nothing." God, how that hurt to hear. That kissing means nothing? Kissing shouldn't mean nothing. I don't kiss just anyone, you know. Only him, now. _

_There must be something wrong with me. Like Tad said. I'm not worth anything. I'm useless. I don't deserve happiness. _

_Maybe Jack's just distracted. He's been spending a lot of time with that giant stapler thing. I don't recognize it, so I'm not useful to him. I wonder how long it will take him to figure it out? Maybe I should suggest he have Tosh take a look. She's good at that kind of thing. _

_She's useful. She can shoot better than I can. She can go on missions. She can piece together tech no one's ever seen. All I can do is the filing and Jack's laundry and make coffee. _

_Not even good enough to shag anymore. _

He glanced over at Tosh and plastered one of his blank smiles on his face. "I'm about to brew some of Jack's industrial strength coffee. Would you like a cup?"

"No, Ianto, I'm fine," Tosh answered, fingering her necklace. He didn't see her pull it off because he turned back to the coffee machine.

***TW TW TW***

"Coffee?" Ianto asked, placing a mug in front of Jack as he sat at his desk.

"Thanks, Ianto. Have a seat." Jack motioned to the chair across from his desk. Reluctantly, Ianto sat. "How are you?"

"Fine, sir," Ianto answered stiffly.

"Really? Because the tightness at the edges of your eyes look like someone who's in pain."

Ianto sighed. "Maybe a little pain. I seem to have gotten a headache in the last ten minutes."

Jack sat back in his chair and contemplated Ianto. He sipped his coffee. "Hmm. It's past five. Why don't you head home early, then? Things are quiet here, and I was going to send everyone home at six for a change."

"Thank you."

"Before you go," Jack said quickly, for- stalling Ianto from rising. "Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary lately?"

"Gwen and Owen have finally started shagging, after spending close to a month dancing around their attraction for each other," Ianto reported, going over the past few days in his head. "I think it happened right after the trip to the Beacons, maybe the next day. If I read the signals right, it's been at least four times now.

"Tosh has a new necklace, which she puts on and takes off at regular intervals. I think she's wearing lower-cut tops to show it off. Either that or she's found someone. She has that look. And you've stopped flirting with me," he finished reluctantly.

Jack tapped his lips as he considered what Ianto said. "Anything else?"

"Um, just that I've had a headache off and on for several days. But I figure I'm not used to you not flirting with me, so I'm having a bad reaction to it."

Jack laughed loudly. "You miss the flirting?"

"Don't you?" Ianto countered.

"Of course I do," Jack answered in a faraway voice. "But there's something going on, and I'm not sure what it is. I thought that it'd go away if I stopped flirting with you, but that's clearly not the case. You say you've been having headaches for several days? How long, exactly?"

"Since Tuesday. I remember that I was making coffee for you, and I asked Tosh if she wanted any, and then, when I was bringing it to you, I had a headache. At the time I thought it was caffeine withdrawal. I was an hour late making it because of some filing."

"On second thought, can you stay in the Tourist Office for a bit? I have something to check in the vaults, then I'll take you home. Don't want you to get lost, what with that headache and all." Jack grinned salaciously.

"You know, that makes your usual flirting seem subtle, Jack," Ianto said with a smile. "And no one in their right mind would call you subtle."

"Maybe a kiss before you go upstairs then? To help you feel better?"

"Are we talking a proper kiss, or one you would give a child?"

"Which would you prefer, Mr. Jones?"

Ianto glanced behind him. Gwen was nowhere to be seen, and Tosh was talking with Owen in the autopsy bay. "It's probably safe for a proper kiss," he murmured, stepping around Jack's desk. Jack stood and pulled him close, kissing him soundly.

"There, that's better, isn't it?" Jack asked, pulling away. He straightened Ianto's hair from where he messed it up during their kiss.

"My headache's gone," Ianto said with a grin. "I should let you kiss me during working hours more often."

"I'll hold you to that," Jack replied, pecking Ianto's lips before pushing him gently in the direction of the door.

***TW TW TW***

Jack's wriststrap beeped as he was climbing the stairs from the lower vaults. He glanced at the display. _Hmm, why would the Queen be calling me? _he wondered, picking up his pace to find a good space to sit to take the call. He settled onto a step and pressed the button to answer the phone via the wriststrap.

"— _ness' office. Jones speaking." _Jack blinked in surprise. Ianto had answered Jack's desk phone. _Wasn't he in the Tourist Office? _Jack asked himself.

"_Mr. Jones, please connect me with the Captain." _

"_I'm sorry, Ma'am. Captain Harkness is unavailable at this time. I am his assistant. Is there anything I might help you with?" _

"_This is Elizabeth —" _

"_Your Majesty!" _The sound of Ianto jumping to his feet and scraping the chair back were clear along the line. "_I apologize, Your Majesty. I will find him immediately." _

"_No need to be so formal, young man," _the Queen said with a small laugh. "_Jones, was it? What's your first name?" _

"_Ianto, Ma'am. Ianto Jones." _

"_Ah, the Captain's mentioned you. You were the only survivor of the Torchwood London branch that accepted a transfer to Cardiff. One of his up and coming projects, I believe. You lost your girlfriend at Canary Wharf, did you not? You have my condolences." _

"_Thank you, Ma'am." _Ianto scrambled with the computer, texting Jack. His phone beeped. "_I've let Captain Harkness know you're on the line, Ma'am," _Ianto added.

"_As his assistant, perhaps you could clarify something for me," _the Queen continued. "_I have a report here that Captain Harkness has been accused of murdering a suspect in an investigation of cannibalism in the Brecon Beacons several weeks ago." _

"_Murder?" _Ianto demanded. "_Did the report also indicate that these cannibals held the entire team hostage, as well as a civilian, in order to kill and eat us, and that the Captain's actions that day prevented the victim in question from slitting my throat? That this village has been killing and eating passers-by every ten years for at least five generations?" _

The Queen drew in a sharp breath. "_You were almost killed, Mr. Jones?" _

"_Yes, Ma'am. As were the rest of the team." _

"_We will see that the investigation is concluded in an appropriate manner," _she said after a long pause, the change to the plural, royal, pronoun clear in her voice. "_Please inform Captain Harkness of Our desire for him to come to London to discuss the incident in person as soon as possible." _

"_Of course, Your Majesty," _Ianto answered, falling into the more formal address in response to her shift.

Jack sighed and pressed another button on his wriststrap, disconnecting himself from the call.

"Fuck," he said softly as he stood. "Another trip to London. Ianto's finally feeling better, too, and I was hoping to take him up on his offer today since he's not the one trying to get into my head." He sighed again. "Getting into my pants, however… the man _is_ persistent. I'll give him that. It's been too long since I've been with him. When did you get so needy, Harkness?" he asked himself, shaking his head at his own fancy. "When you met Ianto Jones, that's when," he added, answering his own question.

Ianto met him with coffee in his office.

"The Queen called," Ianto said as he handed Jack his mug. "She said —"

"I know. I listened in," Jack replied. "You handled yourself very well," he added. "It's probably time you met her. Fancy a trip to London?"

"I'm sorry?"

"At this hour, we won't get an appointment with her until the morning so we'll have to stay overnight…" Jack raised an eyebrow suggestively. "It would be a shame to arrive at Buckingham Palace right after a three hour ride in the car, after all. We'd have to take your car, though, so I can leave the SUV here for the others in case of a Rift alert, and you'd have to stop at home for your best suit. Goddess, I'll have to wear one, too, won't I?" Jack rummaged in his desk. He handed Ianto a security card. "Here. First door on the right after my bathroom. Pick out an appropriate outfit for me and make a hotel reservation. Something nice, with a large bed and room service."

"Are you seriously thinking of using a trip to see _the Queen_ as an opportunity for sex with me?" Ianto demanded.

Jack shrugged, looking slightly abashed and hopeful at the same time. "Interested?"

Ianto opened and closed his mouth a few times before answering. "As long as I get to snog you in the Palace," he muttered.

Jack's grin almost split his face in half.

***TW TW TW***

"Ianto, I'll need you to do a few things for me," Jack said as they walked into the empty Hub together the following afternoon. The others were out catching a pack of three Weevils that seemed to prefer being out during the day.

"What would they be, sir?" Ianto wondered, his mind drifting slightly. _I snogged Jack in Buckingham Palace! I snogged Jack __in the loo_ _at BUCKINGHAM PALACE! _

"Make a list for me of aliens that have telepathic abilities. Cross reference that list with a picture of our new stapler, to see if any known tech matches. I have a hunch."

"A hunch?"

"Someone's been trying to read my mind, and they're here in Cardiff. I didn't feel it in London. So that means that we've got a telepathic alien on the loose. And since the only new thing we have at the base right now is the stapler…"

"I see where you're coming from. I'll get right on it."

"Oh, and check if any of the aliens have jewelry associated with them."

"Tosh's necklace?"

"Unfortunately. I sort of recognize it, but I'm not sure from where. I think that either it's controlling her, making her report our thoughts to the alien, or letting her read our thoughts. Or a communication device that lets the alien read our thoughts without it needing to be present."

"Shit."

"She's been acting out of character. It has me worried. And I don't think it's just because she's found someone."

"No, you may be right…" Ianto trailed off. "I hope whoever she's seeing isn't the alien."

"You and me, both. But if it's friendly, and just curious without an understanding of our ethics, that's not so bad. I'll sit it down and talk to it. Otherwise…" Jack didn't have to finish his sentence. "Do you know if the other two have had headaches? That's a sign of mental tampering, you know."

"I'll ask when they get back." Ianto paused. "You think she's been listening to what I've been thinking, since I've been having them?"

"It's a possibility. Anything incriminating going on in that beautiful head of yours lately?"

"Just worrying that you weren't flirting with me." Ianto paused. "Or kissing me. Or shagging me. I mean, I told you I'd do casual like you wanted, and then you started ignoring me."

Jack grabbed Ianto and pulled him into a tight embrace. "I've been stupid, Ianto. We'll keep shagging. Don't worry."

"After last night? And this morning? And fifteen minutes ago in my car? No, I don't think I'll be worrying for a while, sir."

"Good," Jack murmured, kissing Ianto tenderly. "I can't offer much, but I'll give you what I can. Remember that."

"I will."

"And do those shielding exercises they taught you in London! It'll keep her or the alien from hearing anything you don't want heard." With that, Jack turned away and disappeared into his office.

_I snogged Jack in Buckingham Palace! _Ianto thought as he walked away to begin his search. _Didn't realize quite how much I missed the sex. But six times in twelve hours? Didn't think I had that kind of stamina. Of course, three weeks without Jack whetted my appetite. And he was just as enthusiastic as I was, so he must have been missing me, too. I know he didn't go out and get laid without me. He'd have said something. _

Ianto settled onto his chair in the Archivist office and logged in to his computer. He typed a quick query for telepathic aliens. As it ran, he pulled up a picture of the stapler, as Jack liked to call it, and added in to the search criteria for his next query. The computer pinged to indicate that the search had finished.

Glancing at the list, he realized there were more than two hundred alien species listed. He added the stapler and the search results of the first query, adding a line for jewelry and set the computer to work again.

_Was it really six times? Let's see. First, in his bunker. He barely gave me time to pick a suit for him before he grabbed me. Then, at my flat, because, who can resist a second round when his hands are on my ass like that? Then a third as soon as we finished dinner and checked in to the hotel in London. We talked for an hour or two and he told me what to expect when meeting the Queen, then round four in the jacuzzi in the en suite before we managed to get a few hours of sleep. In the shower before we left for the Palace, "to relax me," he said. And just now in my car because everyone else was gone from the Hub and we knew they wouldn't be back for at least an hour. I wonder how long it'll take for him to join me down here? Haven't had a rough fuck in the Archives in a while…_

The query pinged. Ianto frowned at the result. No matches. He opened up the CCTV footage of the past few days and found a good view of Tosh's necklace. He added that to the first list of telepathic aliens and started another query to see if the necklace matched. Obviously, the stapler was too different from its original state for the computer to match it. The query pinged again.

"Jack?" he asked into his comm link.

"_Ianto." _

"I've got a match. Arcateenian."

"_They don't look remotely human, other than basic shape. There's no way Tosh would take anything from one of them without telling us." _

"Apparently, they can take human hosts. They absorb themselves into a body and use it as camouflage, though the host itself dies. London had a few captured for testing."

"_I didn't know they could do that. What do you recommend?" _

"Watch her the rest of the day? See if Owen finally has a breakthrough on that skeleton? It was found with the stapler, so I'm sure it's connected. I think I'm having one of your hunches."

"_Hmm, if you're right, I'll have to reward you appropriately…" _

"Yeah, yeah. Get back to work. I'll bring coffee around in a little while." Ianto paused. "Unless you think we have time for —"

"_Lucky seven!"_ Jack interrupted. "_How could I forget? You stay right there and I'll be down in a moment." _

Ianto grinned. "How about blindspot three?"

"_Even better." _

***TW TW TW***

"I didn't think he'd kill her so coldly," Tosh said softly. Silently, she accepted a tissue from Ianto. They were sitting alone in the conference room, wrapping up her report of the incident.

"He has to be ruthless sometimes," Ianto replied. "If it makes you feel better, I don't think he'd have done it if she hadn't threatened you."

Tosh looked up to meet his eyes. "You think?"

"He told me so, earlier. Before we knew what was going on. If she were just curious, and didn't know our culture, he'd have talk to her, explained things."

"He killed her," Tosh repeated softly. "She wouldn't have hurt me. I know it."

"I thought that about Lisa, once," Ianto murmured, matching her tone. "Then she threw me across the Hub and killed me. I'd be dead if it weren't for Jack."

"This is totally different!"

"True. Lisa wanted to take over the entire world. Mary just wanted to pluck out and eat your heart. Symbolic, that."

"Ianto!"

"I'm sorry, Tosh. I shouldn't have said that. Seeing what just happened, it brought back memories, is all. It hasn't been that long."

"We should start a new club," Tosh joked. "The Jack Harkness Killed my Girlfriend Club."

"He didn't actually kill Lisa," Ianto corrected quietly. "I've been calling that _thing_ Lisa, but she really died at Canary Wharf."

"You really believe that now?"

"Yes. Part of me knew it even as I was sneaking her in here, taking care of her. I just didn't want to admit it. I wouldn't have slept with Jack so readily, otherwise. At heart, I only feel comfortable being intimate with one person at a time. And if she were really alive, would I have really been able to do what I did with him?"

"Are you and him OK?"

"Sure," Ianto answered with a shrug.

"I'm being serious. When I wore the pendant, I could hear things, people's thoughts. I heard you worrying that he wasn't flirting with you anymore."

Ianto stiffened, sitting up. "What else did you hear?"

"Not much else from you, really. And nothing from Jack, which I thought was weird. But Owen and Gwen are shagging."

"I knew that without an alien pendant."

Tosh smiled slightly. "Yeah, well, they _are_ acting kind of childish about the whole thing. But Gwen — she wants Jack. She's enjoying sleeping with Owen, but primarily she's doing it to make Jack jealous." Tosh paused.

"You have to know," she continued, "that he's turned her down. Every time. When you were out, she asked for more weapons training, and got all huffy when he didn't grope her like last time."

"He didn't grope her? Really? Are we talking about the same Jack? The same weapons training?"

Tosh leaned forward conspiratorially and lowered her voice. "She remembered shoving her ass against his groin and him backing away with a yelp. So not him, right? I mean, he doesn't yelp, and doesn't reject people who throw themselves at him like that, either, right? But then he told her to focus on the targets or the lesson was over."

"You're not just saying this to make me feel better, are you?"

"I went back and found the CCTV footage. I'll save a copy to your hard drive at home, if you want."

Ianto's phone beeped and he glanced at it. "Jack," he explained. "He wants to know if he should scare away the vultures."

Tosh glanced at the walkway to her side where Owen and Gwen were talking, the lines of their backs tense. "No, I need to face them," Tosh said quietly. "Better get it over with."

"If you need to talk…"

"Thanks, Ianto. But I think I need to deal with this and go home."

She patted his hand and left the conference room. A few minutes later Jack sauntered in.

"Anything I need to know that can't wait tail morning?" he asked.

"She still has the pendant. But I don't think she'll use it again. She's pretty horrified at what happened, at reading our thoughts. She said it felt almost addictive, like the pendant was controlling her to put it on."

"Arcateenians are usually a passive race, but it seems Mary was overwhelmed by the sensuousness of having a human body."

"She was attractive," Ianto murmured. "For a blond. I don't fancy blonds all that often."

"No?" Jack asked, his interest piqued. "What's your usual type?"

"At the moment?" Ianto stood and stepped close to Jack. "Brunettes with blue eyes and a flair for the dramatic." He rested his hands on Jack's hips and tugged him closer. Jack's breath hitched. "What's yours?"

"At the moment?" Jack asked, repeating Ianto's tone, bringing up a hand to run his fingers along Ianto's cheek. "You."

Ianto closed his eyes as Jack kissed him. _For someone who only wants something casual, he sure can be romantic when he wants to be, _Ianto thought as he lost himself in the kiss.


	34. Chapter 34: They Keep Killing Suzie

**Torchwood Files: **

**Chapter 34: They Keep Killing Suzie**

A/N: There's quite a bit of angst in this chapter, and we see into Jack's head for a change. Be kind and please review! Warnings for smut and angst.

.

Ianto sat at Tosh's station listening in on the comms while the other four explored the locker that contained all of Suzie's belongings.

_"So this is what happens when we die? All our stuff goes to Torchwood?"_ Gwen asked.

_"Yes,"_ Jack answered.

_"But what if I leave it all to Rhys?"_

_"Rules and Regulations,"_ Jack responded curtly. Ianto heard the sound of the storage unit door opening. _"This is the life of Suzie Costello,"_ Jack said morbidly. Ianto could imagine him shining his flashlight over the boxes and bins, all labeled with the Torchwood "T" of interlocking hexagons._ "With respect, people,"_ Jack added.

"Jack?" Ianto asked on a private comm signal. "Did Gwen really just ask what I think she did?"

_"Yes. I'm surprised. Didn't she sign all the regular forms with the contract and Official Secrets Act?"_

"I watched her sign them myself. And I gave her copies. Would you like me to leave another set on her desk?" He paused to glance at Gwen's desk. "Though with all the paper on it currently, I don't think she'd see it."

_"No, I don't think that's necessary. Unless she says something else to indicate she hasn't read it. Oh, look, Emily Dickinson! I didn't know that Suzie liked poetry."_

"Poetry by someone who tried to kill herself many times before finally succeeding. I can't help but notice that Suzie killed herself in the end, as well."

_"Ah, well, nothing much to do about it now, is there? Do you want me to bring the book back to the Hub?"_

"Really, Jack, I'm not much for suicide."

_"Good,"_ Jack said quietly, his mood shifting. _"Good. I'd be upset if you were."_

"I'm not going anywhere, Jack."

_"Good,_" Jack repeated.

_"I found it!"_ Tosh shouted. _"Pilgrim. Looks like Suzie was part of it after all."_

_"Ianto? Prep the Autopsy Bay, please,"_ Jack said. _"It looks like we're going to have to try to bring her back."_

***TW TW TW***

"You still screwing Jack?" Suzie asked, a sneer on her face. Ianto, across the room organizing files, stiffened.

"I don't see how my personal life is any of your concern," he answered, his tone clipped.

"Well, if you are, it must mean he hasn't found out about that thing you keep in the basement. Good idea, whoring yourself out to him to keep it safe. It won't work, though. They can't be saved."

"The threat has been neutralized," Ianto said. "I told Jack about her and we dealt with it."

"Huh. Didn't think you had the balls to tell him."

"How did you know about her?"

"You were acting twitchy. More twitchy than usual, even though you and Jack were having a tiff at the time. I followed you down there one day."

"And yet you didn't go to Jack about it."

"Where would the fun be in that?" She gave a bark of bitter laughter. "I wanted to see if he'd be so angry at the betrayal that he'd kill you. Jilted lover, and all that. Besides, it was only a week before I died. I was already taking my experiments to the next level. Telling him about you would potentially expose me, as he'd be on his guard."

Ianto didn't bother responding. He finished the filing and turned to go.

"You really told him?" Suzie asked suddenly, her tone much nicer. "How did he take it?"

Ianto turned back to look at Suzie, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He regarded her for a long moment before deciding to answer. "He wanted to help her. He said he would have helped from the beginning, though I doubt it. He had to get to know me first."

Suzie looked down at her hands. "Would he have understood me?" she asked, and he heard sadness in her voice.

"Up until you started killing people, I think so. That's the point of no return for him."

They watched each other warily for a few minutes.

"Would you like a coffee?" Ianto finally asked.

"Yes, thank you." Ianto was halfway up the stairs when she spoke again. "Would you do it again?"

"Yes," Ianto whispered. "If it got me here, I would." _Anything to have Jack,_ he thought. _Anything at all._

***TW TW TW***

Jack sat anxiously at his desk, waiting for Ianto. _This is the first time he's propositioned me,_ Jack thought, excitement setting his blood afire. _We've done so many things together. I wonder what he has in mind? The usual stopwatch games? How fast or slow we get undressed? How fast we can make each other come? How long we can hold out before we do?_

_No, this is Ianto I'm talking about. He constantly surprises me. He probably has some wild idea that'll knock my socks off. If anyone can do that, it's him._

Jack squirmed in his chair and glanced at the clock. _Three minutes left until he gets here. This waiting is driving me insane! How can he have gotten under my skin like this? I haven't been this excited about a lover in a very long time. Hell, I'm excited enough that I told Alice about him. She was so surprised!_

_What did she say? Oh, yeah. "Even someone like you needs someone to lean on."_

_"Someone to lean on," huh? I do lean on him. More than he knows, more than the others know. That Alice could see it, even when she hates me most of the time, means a lot. It means that —_

"Coffee, sir?" Ianto asked, interrupting his thoughts. Jack looked up from the mug Ianto was extending to meet his eyes. Emotions swirled in the blue depths and Jack gasped at what he saw.

"Ianto…" Jack breathed.

"Jack?" Ianto put the mug down when it was clear Jack wasn't going to take it. He sat on the edge of Jack's desk. "Is something wrong?"

Silently Jack shook his head. He reached over and covered Ianto's hand with his own. "What did you have in mind for tonight?" he asked instead, deflecting Ianto's question.

"Well, I thought actual stopwatch games would be a bit juvenile, so…" Ianto hesitated. Jack squeezed his hand. "Well —"

"Whatever it is, I'm sure I've heard it before."

"That's — that's not what I'm worried about." Ianto turned his hand over so he could twine his fingers with Jack's. He looked at their joined hands for a long moment. "Could we…just for tonight…pretend we love each other?"

Jack blinked in surprise as all the breath left his body. He felt like he'd been punched in the chest._ I don't have to pretend,_ Jack thought immediately. _I've loved him for months. Even after that stuff with Lisa. Even though I try to deny it. I love him._ He squeezed Ianto's hand convulsively._ I'm not ready for this! I'm not ready to love him. I'm not ready to show him how I feel. Fuck!_

"Jack? Is it too much for you? I mean, we don't have to do it that way, I just thought, it'd be a nice change from what we usually do and —"

"Ianto, stop," Jack interrupted him. "I —" He broke off, took a deep breath, continued. "I want to. God knows I want to, but this is it. Just tonight."_ I can do it once, make love to him for real, but after that — after that it'll be too raw to keep doing it. Too much for me to handle. Too real —_

"I know, Jack. I know," Ianto whispered, stroking the back of Jack's hand with his thumb. "I know there's no way you'd feel that kind of thing for me. I mean, who am I, anyway? Just some random bloke from Newport, yeah? Right place and right time. Just once, though, I wanted to know what it would feel like to be loved by you."

_Oh, Ianto. You have no idea, do you? No idea how special you are. No idea how scared I am that I'm not worthy of you, that you'll see me for the monster I am and decide to leave._

_But I can't think like that. He's given no indications that he wants to leave. In fact, he's said more than once that he's not going anywhere. Maybe — maybe it'll be OK to try it once?_

Jack swallowed and stood, drawing Ianto to a standing position as well. Without letting go of Ianto's hand, he cupped Ianto's cheek with the other hand. He played with the short hairs at the back of Ianto's neck. Ianto sighed and leaned into the caress.

"Go home," Jack said after a minute. He ignored the look of shock on Ianto's face and continued. "If we're doing this, we're doing it properly. I'll follow you in a few minutes. Take a hot shower, relax, lie down, and I'll let myself in. OK?" He kissed Ianto gently. "I'll be there. I promise."

Ianto nodded. "OK," he whispered.

***TW TW TW***

_Jack's late,_ Ianto thought as he lay naked in bed, still warm from the shower. _It's been over an hour! Is he even coming over? Did I scare him away? Did I ask for too much? Too close to feelings? Too far from casual?_

He heard the faint sound of his front door opening and breathed a sigh of relief. Straining his ears, he picked up the sounds of Jack hanging up his coat and taking off his shoes. Instead of heading directly to the bedroom, however, Jack went to the kitchen and rummaged around in the cabinets. The refrigerator door opened and closed. Jack hummed as he worked, and Ianto wondered what Jack's singing voice would be like if he let go and sang loudly. _He probably has a great voice_, Ianto said to himself.

Jack appeared in the doorway, a carryall strap over his shoulder, a pair of small bowls in one hand and a pair of water bottles in the other. Ianto's mouth went dry, and he couldn't stop staring. Jack wore leather pants. Black leather pants that hugged his body and showed off his groin and ass in a way that made Ianto hard instantly. Leather pants and a skintight white t-shirt that outlined his chest in glorious detail with a black leather vest. Jack smiled at Ianto's reaction and walked into the room.

"Like what you see?" Jack asked with a flirty twist to his hips. He set the water bottles on the coasters that always seemed to be on Ianto's nightstand and dropped the carryall to the floor.

"Jack, you're gorgeous!" Ianto exclaimed.

Jack's smile deepened. "That's my line, _ashe_," he murmured, leaning over to kiss Ianto tenderly. "You're the gorgeous one." He ran his free hand over Ianto's chest, through his chest hair in that way that turned them both on. Reluctantly, he drew away. "Give me another few minutes and I'll be ready for you."

Ianto reached out and squeezed the hard bulge of Jack's cock through the leather. "You seem ready to me," he said with a smirk.

"Now, now," Jack chided gently, moving away. "We're doing this properly, Ianto. No rushing."

"No?"

"No," Jack said firmly, turning his back to Ianto to put the bowls on the dresser. He dragged over his carryall and pulled out a few things. Carefully, he poured a bit of powder into each of the bowls, then mixed in liquid. He set the liquid on fire.

"This is the essence of the _asheke_ flower," Jack said, indicating the first bowl. Sweet smelling smoke drifted through the room. He brought it over to the far nightstand and put it down. "It symbolizes love, and it is said that when burnt during lovemaking, it blesses the couple, giving them the ability to love freely." Jack picked up the second bowl and moved it to the closer nightstand. "This is the essence of the _shimshiki_ tree. It symbolizes wisdom. When burnt during lovemaking, it is said that it blesses the couple with the knowledge of each other's souls, that they might please each other on more than the physical level."

Jack sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Ianto's cheek.

"That's beautiful," Ianto said softly, resting a hand on Jack's thigh. They stared into each other's eyes for a long time. Eventually, Jack bent to kiss him, and Ianto dragged him down on top of him by his vest. He grabbed Jack's ass, pulling him closer, relishing the unusual feeling of leather against his skin. Jack's erection strained against the leather as they found a rhythm grinding against each other. Jack enthusiastically began kissing and biting Ianto's neck, shoulders and chest, before leaving off to capture his lips again in a searing kiss.

"Ianto," Jack gasped, pulling back briefly. "Can you get come out of leather?"

"Never tried before."

"Then these're going to have to come off." Jack grunted as he squirmed out of the tight pants, revealing as he went that he hadn't worn underwear. Not that Ianto expected him to.

"You wear them for five minutes and then take them off?" Ianto demanded. "How am I supposed to enjoy seeing you in them?"

"I'll wear them again, I promise," Jack said, tossing the pants as far from the bed as he could manage. He tore off the shirt and vest as well, then began stroking Ianto's cock as Ianto had the same idea and started stroking Jack's. "But this outfit, it's important to me. It's what I wore when I last saw the Doctor."

"And you're wearing it for me?" Ianto asked with a gasp. "What did I do to deserve that?"

"Tonight, Ianto Jones," Jack whispered intensely, taking Ianto's head in both his hands as he stared into his eyes. "Tonight _you_ are the most important thing in my universe."

"Jack…"

"Tonight I will do everything in my power to make you feel loved, and cared for, and cherished," Jack continued, his voice lower than usual with emotion.

"Jack!" Ianto reached up and grabbed Jack, pulling his head down to crash their mouths together in a kiss so heated they both thought they would burn up from the wonder of it.

Over the next two hours (four? six? seven, maybe? Ianto lost count a long time ago,) they made love with all the tenderness, passion, desire, need, and love that they usually held in check in favor of purely physical acts. They touched each other in new ways, fueled by emotions they couldn't admit to having for fear of destroying what they had. Each touch, each kiss, each caress, each whispered endearment and hoarse demand for _more, deeper, yes! right there!_ stoked the fire for more and Ianto lost count of how many times he'd come a long time ago, also, though he knew Jack was with him, coming together each time, as if their bodies were connected on a cellular level, rather than just the joining of their flesh.

***TW TW TW***

Jack lay on his back, utterly spent. Ianto, curled beside him, slept soundly, snoring softly. He watched the last of the incense floating in the still air of the room. _Goddess, I'm such a fool,_ he thought. _I brought out the asheke and shimshiki. The scents of betrothal. Why would I do that? He doesn't even know what it means. He just thinks it's some nice incense with romantic meanings that I used to set the mood._

_I spent weeks on Satellite Five gathering everything I thought I'd need to wait for the Doctor on Earth. Finding the herbalist shop was a bonus. There it was: A complete set of 'essences for all occasions' from Boeshane. Births, deaths, marriages, healing the sick, meditation. You name it, I've got it._

_Why a shop in 200,100 would have essences from a small colony planet overrun by aliens in the 51st century is a still a mystery to me, but I've found that when traveling with the Doctor, things can fall into place. Serendipity. Maybe that Face of Boe person I heard about when I was still with the Time Agency had something to do with it? He's apparently a big-time politician, or something. Named himself after my world. Maybe they had the essences in case he ever stopped by and wanted them?_

_But none of that is relevant right now, is it? Easier to think about random mysteries than what to do here, now, with Ianto._

_What would he say if he knew that I just promised him a year and a day as my lover? I didn't speak the vows, though. So maybe it's just the intention to — to what? To want to marry him someday? To want to spend my life with him? To want to travel the stars with him always at my side?_

_He accused me being hot and cold with him, once. Giving him mixed signals. He's right. I have been. I just can't love him, but I can't not love him, either. I can't keep it as casual sex for very long before I crave the intimacy of lovemaking. And so I shut down that urge, and hurt him, and then find myself getting out the incense without consciously doing it._

_Was it the right thing to do?_

_I feel more comfortable with him that I've ever felt with a lover. Despite the misunderstandings we've had, he still sees me for me. I've hurt him, and he's hurt me, and we're still here, together, making love as if it's the most natural thing in the universe, pretending that we're pretending at love._

_He knows me on a level that I don't let anyone see, and he knew it instinctively._

_And it's fucking terrifying! To know I'm going to lose him. To know I'll have so little time with him, compared to the unending saga that is my life. To know I'll be alive billions of years from now, without him._

_Goddess, why does love hurt so much?_

Gently, so as not to wake Ianto, Jack climbed out of bed and gathered his clothes and carryall. He wrote a quick note, telling Ianto he'd meet him at work. He kissed Ianto's temple. _"Ha'asha heh, Ianto,"_ he whispered, knowing Ianto was asleep, knowing Ianto wouldn't understand, knowing that he could deny saying it if Ianto ever asked.

With a ragged sigh and tears streaming down his cheeks, Jack left Ianto's flat to find a roof to stand on in the pre-dawn darkness, chilled by his own thoughts as much as the wind.

***TW TW TW***

When Jack finally walked into the Hub at quarter past noon, he couldn't meet Ianto's eyes because of the shame he felt at leaving in the middle of the night after the intimacies they had shared. Ianto, however, was not in the Tourist Office, so Jack prepared to endure Owen's grumbling and Gwen's curiosity and Tosh's puzzled looks. He put on his usual just-got-shagged-silly smile that deflected so much and sauntered in with a swing in his step. Having a reputation as someone who slept around was an advantage, on occasion, and he hoped that would be enough to get him through the main area and into his office without having a breakdown of some kind.

"If you're going to go out and get laid," Owen grumbled loudly as Jack paused on the way to his office. "At least have the decency to show up on time. That's what you keep telling me, anyway."

"Must've been good, though, right?" Tosh asked, a shy smile on her face. "You look like you enjoyed yourself."

"Oh, it was the best! All night and then some," Jack enthused, just as Ianto appeared at his elbow with a mug of coffee for Jack.

"Did you have a nice evening, sir?" Ianto asked, professional with a mild hint of curiosity in his voice, nothing to indicate there was anything special to their relationship. Jack wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not. He decided to play along, at least until he got Ianto alone and could find out what the man was thinking.

"Ianto, you missed it," Owen said before Jack could say anything. "Jack got shagged to within an inch of his life!"

"Did he?" Ianto asked, feigning surprise, raising an eyebrow in Jack's direction.

"Who was it?" Gwen demanded suddenly. "Man or woman? Is it someone we know?"

Jack took a sip of coffee to forestall having to answer Gwen, fully prepared for decaf, or, worse yet, instant, to show Ianto's displeasure. The coffee melted in his mouth with hints of caramel and raspberries, smooth and bitter the way he liked it, with that special something that was Ianto's signature. It so surprised Jack that he almost dropped the mug, his groan of pleasure was so overwhelming. Ianto, seemingly prepared for that reaction, took the mug from Jack's hand.

"I'll just leave this in your office for you, sir? It seems you two need some time alone," Ianto suggested snidely. Jack hastened to follow him as the rest of the team burst into laughter. Ianto carefully put the mug on a coaster and gave Jack a small smile that he reserved for the older man. "I knew you would leave, Jack. I'm not upset," he whispered, low enough that there was no chance the others would hear. "And thank you. It was marvelous, everything I could have hoped for and more."


	35. Chapter 35: Random Shoes

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 35: Random Shoes**

****A/N: Thank you for all the great reviews for my last chapter! I've added a few extra paragraphs to it thanks to some feedback from StarKayak, which should answer some questions about Jack. If you read the chapter before 12/7/12, you might want to go back and see what I've added.

Warnings for this chapter: Smut, sexual situations, mentions of past violence.

And now, enjoy!

.

"Jack? Here's the report you requested," Ianto said as he walked into Jack's office in the middle of the afternoon.

"Summarize it for me?" Jack asked.

Ianto smiled and settled into his usual chair across from Jack. He flipped open the folder. "Eugene Jones, who, as you know, has been trying to follow Torchwood's activities in a geeky, lives-at-home-with-his-mother kind of way for the past six months, died in a routine road accident two days ago. He was in possession of a Dogon Sixth Eye, which he sold on Ebay for £15,005.50.

"Initially, two of his friends set up a number of accounts to bid against each other for it, presumably to make him feel better when it wasn't selling. I placed a few bids once he posted a picture and I knew what it was, however someone bid £15,000 and as that exceeded our Ebay budget for those sorts of items by £10,000, and they're not too dangerous, I let it go. Turns out it was Henry Parker who bid the £15,000."

"Henry Parker? We've had him on our radar for decades now. We'll have to reactivate our watch of his activities. Wait, you said it sold for £15,005.50? Who won it?"

"Yes, well, one of Eugene's friends outbid Parker, and Parker dropped out."

"Ah. What happened to the Eye?"

"I'm not sure. It wasn't with his possessions when we searched his house, nor was it on his person when he died. Neither of his friends have re-posted it on Ebay, so I presume they don't have it. It's just disappeared."

"All right, that's that, then." Jack accepted the file and signed off on it.

"What should we do about Gwen?"

"Gwen?" Jack asked, clearly confused by Ianto's question.

"She's obsessed with finding out what happened. She thinks there's something going on that we're not picking up on. I don't think she knows about the Eye yet, either."

"And you haven't told her about all this?" Jack asked with an amused smile.

"The information is readily available in our Ebay folder, listed under his name as the seller. If she can't find it in plain sight, on servers we all share, I'm not going to help her."

"You're still angry about what she said to you last week about the biscuits?"

"No, I'm angry that she treats me like I don't exist except when she wants something from me, or when she catches us flirting and gets jealous."

"How about I assign her overnight Rift duty and take you out to that new Italian place on the Bay?"

"I'd like that," Ianto answered with a shy smile.

"Then we could go back to yours…" Jack continued with a grin.

"Yeah, let's do that."

"Good. Go home and change. I'll be by to pick you up at seven-thirty."

Ianto smiled wider. "You mean it? You're taking me to a real dinner at a real restaurant?"

"Of course!"

"Not just takeaway?"

"I'm taking you to a nice restaurant," Jack declared proudly. "But it's not a date," he added quickly. "It's just dinner."

Ianto suppressed the sudden wave of sadness at Jack's denial of their relationship, even as he wondered if he'd feel comfortable on a date with a man. He decided to ignore it all in favor of having a nice night with Jack. "I'll be ready." Ianto accepted the file from Jack and squeezed his hand before leaving the office.

***TW TW TW***

Ianto Jones was panicking. A lot.

He stood half-dressed in front of his closet, staring at his shirts, trying to decide what to wear to his _dinner-that's-not-a-date_ with Jack. He knew the restaurant. In fact, he'd driven by there on his way home to see what the people were wearing as they walked in or stood outside smoking and talking. Covering his lower half was easy. He wore tight black jeans and a studded leather belt, with carefully shined shoes.

_This is the closest Jack will ever come to asking me on a date, _Ianto reasoned as he flipped through his shirts. _So I've got to look good. I can't embarrass him. Maybe one of the darker colors? The ones I haven't really worn to work yet? I know they look good on me. Lisa always liked when I wore dark colors. She said they made me look handsome and mysterious. _

He paused, bemused that he was able to think about Lisa without more than a small twinge of pain. _I must be moving on, _he thought. _She would understand. She would be happy for me, wouldn't she? _

_Ah well, on the the shirts. Maybe the red? The purple? _

_What's Jack going to wear? Blue, probably. Will he wear anything different that usual? Hmm, which of these would look best next to blue? Oh, but the shade of blue matters! Shit, what if he wears the dark blue? Nothing I have will go with that. It better be the light blue. This purple one will go nicely. I'll have to remember to get some more shirts to go with the dark blue when I have time to shop next. _

_He better not wear that green shirt from two weeks ago. With red suspenders! He looked like a bloody Christmas advert. I wonder if he'd notice if I "accidentally" lose it when I take out the dry cleaning? _

Smiling, he put on the shirt, leaving the top few buttons undone. He put on the necklace he'd worn when he first met Jack. He moved to the bathroom and stared at his reflection. _It's just dinner, he says, but I still feel nervous. It's the first time he's asked me out like this. Usually it's "let's go for dinner" and we end up with takeaway in my living room and a shag on the sofa. Or, more often lately, the bed. _

_Am I ready to be seen in public with him like this? Because deny it as he might, it'll look like a date to anyone who happens to see us. A date with a man, huh? Never thought I'd want to do that. Never thought I'd even consider it, let alone be excited about it. _

_No, it's a date with Jack. Him being a man doesn't matter, does it? _

The doorbell rang just as he was putting the finishing touches on his hair. He smiled at himself in the mirror. "Here goes nothing," he said softly. He gathered coat, keys, phone and wallet and answered the front door.

Jack greeted him by pulling him into the hallway and kissing him passionately. Ianto, expecting this, pulled his door shut behind him as he kissed him back. He'd grown used to Jack kissing him in the hallway of his building, and stopped worrying about what his neighbors thought most of the time.

"Hey, gorgeous," Jack murmured, resting his forehead against Ianto's.

"Hey," Ianto replied, slightly out of breath.

"Ready for dinner?"

Ianto smiled. "Lead the way, Captain." Jack offered him his arm and Ianto raised a sardonic eyebrow in response. "I'm not a woman, Jack, and this isn't a date, remember?" he pointed out.

Jack laughed. "True on both counts, Mr. Jones. Shall we?"

Ianto smiled inwardly as they walked down the hall to the lift, knowing they looked good together. Jack wore dark trousers and a matching waistcoat over a light sky blue shirt, open at the collar to reveal the white t-shirt underneath. A fob watch completed the picture. The outfit was one of Ianto's favorites, coming behind the leather pants from two weeks ago and before the full suit and tie from when they visited Buckingham Palace. He was glad he'd picked the dark purple shirt, eggplant, as the salesperson called it.

Arriving outside, the unmistakable bulk of the Torchwood SUV sitting quietly within the lines of a parking space made Ianto's lips twitch into a much larger smile. _He actually __parked_ _the car! _Ianto thought, impressed.

***TW TW TW***

"So _this_ isn't a date?" Ianto asked, waving his hand around to indicate the restaurant where he sat across from Jack, who was grinning like the Cheshire cat. "A secluded table, dim lighting, candles, expensive wine, and a restaurant entirely filled with couples who are actually _on_ dates. And this _isn't_ a date?"

"Nope," Jack answered, his grin widening. "Not a date. I don't date. I've told you that."

"Well, you could've fooled me," Ianto deadpanned, taking a sip of the delicious twenty year old wine Jack had ordered. He turned to his menu.

Jack's smile faltered. "Ianto…"

Ianto looked up from the menu at Jack's uncertain tone to see that Jack had extended a hand halfway across the table, palm down. He seemed to be debating about whether to move it closer to Ianto or not. Ianto sighed and rescued him.

"I'm teasing," he said, tapping the back of Jack's hand with the first two fingers of his own. "I know it's not a date. Not sure if I'd be ready to be on a date with a man, anyway."

"As long as we understand each other," Jack replied. Ianto nodded.

Jack's smile returned as he flipped his hand over and captured Ianto's fingers. Their eyes met and Ianto's gaze softened. He placed the rest of his fingers on Jack's hand, allowing them to rest on Jack's palm. Jack curled his fingers, squeezing Ianto's gently. With his free hand he took hold of the other side of Ianto's menu so they could hold it between them. They smiled at each other again before beginning to debate what to order.

"Jack Harkness! Haven't seen you in years," a loud voice called, startling them. "You old rake! You always liked them young, but isn't this one a little too young, even for you?" Ianto jerked his hand away from Jack, hiding it under the table, his cheeks flaming.

Jack stiffened and leaned back in his chair, a look of boredom falling onto his face, replacing the carefree smile of a moment before. "Sebastian," he answered coolly, barely looking up at the man standing before them.

"Sebastian de la Cruz," the man said, offering a hand to Ianto when Jack didn't move to make an introduction. Refusing to allow the man to see his reluctance, Ianto accepted the hand and shook it, exerting enough pressure to respond to the unspoken threat a man like this, that Jack clearly didn't like but knew from years ago, could pose.

"Daffyd Jones," Ianto answered, noting that Jack didn't even twitch at the use of a false name. He looked up at Sebastian, taking his measure. Tall with a regal bearing, he had deep black hair with stripes of gray at his temples. His accent placed him as Spanish, though Ianto doubted that was where he was truly from. He sensed something extra-terrestrial about the man. He'd been working at Torchwood long enough to be able to pick up on the minuscule hints people didn't even realize they gave off.

"Daffyd," Sebastian purred, pulling Ianto's hand up to his lips.

"Do I need to remind you what happens to people who touch my things?" Jack growled softly, his voice as cold and hard as Ianto had ever heard it. Turning back to Jack, he blinked in surprise. Jack sat relaxing in his chair, yet every muscle was poised for quick action the way a cat stalked its prey. In his hands he played idly with the very sharp steak knife from his place settling, testing the blade against his finger in a way that could only be described as sinister.

Sebastian dropped Ianto's hand as if it burned him. He took a step back and bowed stiffly to Jack. "My apologies, Captain, Mr. Jones. It was not my intention to offend."

Jack tossed the knife carelessly back to the table and leaned forward on his elbows. "Well? What do you want?" he demanded, all business.

Sebastian glanced at Ianto and back at Jack, hesitating.

"He's one of mine. You can talk in front of him," Jack added, waving away Sebastian's hesitation. Reluctantly, Sebastian grabbed a chair from a nearby table and scooted up to theirs, sitting backwards, resting his arms on the back of the chair and leaning forward to create a more private circle. Ianto leaned forward slightly, following Jack's lead.

"The birds are leaving Cardiff," Sebastian said softly. Jack motioned for him to continue. "The sparrows, blue jays, and cardinals will fly south within the week. Many of the finches as well."

"And the hawks? The gulls?" Jack asked.

"The hawks are moving much slower. They are not afraid. The gulls are too stupid and complacent. The vultures remain, as always."

Jack grimaced. "And you?"

"Tomorrow night. It is why I sought you out today."

"Good. File your flight plan with Tosh. Warn the others to file with her as well. There might be problems with UNIT and such, otherwise."

Sebastian nodded solemnly. "We may not return, Captain," he said sadly. "It depends on how things play out."

"Do you have a time-frame?"

"Within six months."

"What about the otters and cats and squirrels?"

"You know them. Those who dwell on land do not have the instincts of those who fly freely."

Jack nodded thoughtfully. "Daffyd, text Tosh and tell her to watch for the birds," he said, still mulling over what Sebastian had said, not hesitating at all to use Ianto's alias. "It's not urgent. She doesn't have to go in now to do it, but ask her to set up the usual programs as soon as she gets in tomorrow."

Ianto pulled out his phone and did as Jack asked. Within seconds, Tosh called. Jack slipped the phone from Ianto's hands and answered.

"Tosh?" He listened for a moment as Ianto and Sebastian regarded each other warily. "Yes. That's right…well, I suppose you could go in and do it tonight if you really wanted to." He paused again. "Yes…just dinner!" he exclaimed. "Jeez, you'd think I was a lech, or something." He chuckled. "Really, Tosh? I took you out three days ago and you didn't level these accusations at me…Well, yes, I suppose you were there at the time. Do you want to ask him?" Silently, Jack passed the phone back to Ianto.

"Tosh?" he asked softly.

"_Is he taking you to dinner?" _she asked excitedly. "_Is it a date dinner, or just dinner dinner?" _

"Just dinner," he reassured her. "I'll talk to you more tomorrow, yeah? We have someone else here with us."

"_You should have just said that from the beginning," _she muttered, disappointed. "_I got all excited for you for nothing!" _

"I'll see you tomorrow," Ianto said again, hanging up.

"So you work for him as well as warm his bed," Sebastian stated. "It must be early, then, for him to take you to a place like this. Six weeks, perhaps? Enjoy it while it lasts, young one. He never sticks with anyone past three or four months."

"Actually, it's been nearly a year," Ianto said confidently, looking Sebastian directly in the eyes, a clear challenge.

"Jealousy doesn't become you, Sebastian," Jack said pointedly. "I moved on a long time ago. Get used to it already."

Sebastian frowned, but remained silent.

"And it's been eleven months, twelve days," Jack added with a smirk. Ianto started, astounded that Jack could state so quickly how long it had been since their first kiss by the coffee machine. And he was right, something else that surprised Ianto.

Sebastian stood, the other two automatically rising along with him. "I will take my leave of you, Captain, Mr. Jones. Good luck with whatever the Rift decides to bring you." He bowed to both of them and left their table. They watched until he was out the front door before taking their seats again.

"Birds?" Ianto finally asked. Jack shrugged and sipped his wine.

"I'll show you the list in the morning of which species are which. He's an owl. A soothsayer from Adartis II. If he predicts enough trouble coming from the Rift in the next six months that just about every species with air travel is leaving the area we have to be careful." Jack fiddled with his napkin briefly. "In his natural form he has white skin with black stripes, according to his caste. Very striking."

"Good disguise," Ianto commented, picking up his menu. "One of your many exes?"

"From thirty years ago."

"I'm not jealous," Ianto stated quickly.

Jack tilted his head as he studied Ianto's expression. "There's nothing to be jealous about."

"Good."

"Good."

"Shall we order?" Ianto asked. "I feel like I could eat a Weevil." Jack grinned and waved over their waiter, who had been hovering discreetly out of earshot.

"Good work coming up with an alias on the spot like that," Jack said as soon as the waiter was gone. "We don't need him and all the other resident aliens knowing your real name. They only know Tosh as Tosh. Tracking them is one of her special projects."

"How many of them are there?"

"343 in Cardiff, last I checked. Another couple of hundred throughout the rest of the UK."

"Huh. Are they registered with you? Torchwood? How does it work?"

"I started keeping track of them almost as soon as I got to Torchwood. Kept up with it over the years. When I took over I made it official, gave them special ID cards, helped them fit in better. The old Torchwood was horrible back when I started with them. Killing for the sake of killing. Torturing innocents."

"London still did that," Ianto pointed out. "I wasn't anywhere near those floors, but I read some of the reports. Some of the things they did in the name of science were horrific."

"Yeah. Well, I'd just been paroled, so to speak, and was on as an uncontracted agent. They considered me a non-human alien because of my "gift" and that I wasn't from Earth. They gave me assignments, paid me. Dangerous assignments they didn't want to do, things that would turn your stomach. Everyone knew my secret back then. And I mean _everyone_. I was expendable because I always came back."

"That's torture!" Ianto exclaimed angrily.

"Yeah, well, it wasn't the first time I'd been tortured, or the first time I'd been tortured by them. I got used to it. You learn how to make these boxes in your head, where you put certain things. I still have nightmares, as you know, and the occasional flashback when I'm feeling particularly vulnerable, but it's so much better than it was."

"I have those boxes, too," Ianto admitted.

"I know," Jack said simply. He reached over and covered Ianto's hand with his. Ianto looked up, realizing that he'd been staring at his empty plate. Jack's hand tightened on his.

"Thanks," Ianto whispered. "For not making it a big deal."

"We're just two broken people trying to make our way through the world," Jack reflected. "I'm glad we've had each other this past year."

"Me, too," Ianto said with a shy smile. "It might not have been good all the time, but I think it evened out in the end."

Jack nodded and patted Ianto's hand before releasing it. "Food's here!" he declared happily, his mood shifting with its usual speed at the sight of their first course.

***TW TW TW***

Ianto was drunk. Between him and Jack, they'd shared two bottles of wine with dinner, and Ianto was sure Jack only had two glasses. That meant that he'd drank the rest. He didn't care. Right at that moment he was walking down the hallway to his flat, holding Jack's hand and grinning like a loon.

_I'm gonna get laid! _he thought to himself. _I'm gonna shag Jack, and then maybe he'll shag me, and then I'll bite his shoulder the way he likes and he'll do that growl that turns my insides to mush. _

Ianto glanced sideways at Jack, who was watching him with an amused smile. _Gotta kiss him, _Ianto decided. _Gotta kiss him right now! _

Without any other thought in his head, Ianto pulled Jack by his hand into his arms and kissed him ferociously. Jack responded, kissing Ianto back while he tugged him closer to his flat. Ianto shoved Jack roughly against the wall next to his door, grabbing Jack's hair in both hands as they kissed. Jack moaned and flipped them so Ianto was against the wall. Another flip and Jack's back thumped loudly against the door. Ianto shoved a leg between Jack's, grinding their bodies together.

"Need you now, Jack," Ianto groaned. The swell of his erection pressed against Jack deliciously, and he wanted more friction, more movement, more pleasure.

"Not in the hall!" Jack exclaimed, for once the one more worried about where they were and who might see, though his erection was just as hard and he kissed Ianto just as passionately. He fished Ianto's keys from his jacket pocket and tried to fit the key in the lock backwards, with Ianto clinging to him and kissing his neck. Jack missed the lock but rattled the doorknob anyway, hoping by some miracle that he could get it open.

Suddenly the door opened behind them and they stumbled, falling. Ianto landed on top of Jack, knocking the breath out of both of them. He barely registered that they'd fallen. He continued kissing Jack's neck.

"Ianto, wait," Jack hissed. "Not here. Let me get you inside, OK? Let me at least close the door!"

"I hope you boys are planning on going back to yours," an amused female voice snickered from above them.

Ianto jerked up suddenly, meeting the eyes of his neighbor. "Um —" His face turned bright red and even the tips of his ears got pink. "Mrs. Barry, um —"

Jack struggled into a sitting position, pulling himself out from under Ianto. "Evening, Sharon," he said with a huge grin. "Sorry about this! We must've gotten the wrong door." He got to his feet and pulled a suddenly silent (and completely stunned) Ianto up and into his arms. "We'll be going, yeah?"

She nodded. "You take care, Jack. Make sure he gets at least a little sleep tonight," she advised.

"Will do," Jack answered, giving her a playful salute and wink before leading Ianto out of her apartment and over to his own door.

"Kill me now," Ianto muttered under his breath as they hung up their coats and took off their shoes. "Kill me now, please."

Jack just shook his head and got them down the hall to the bedroom. Once there, he proceeded to kiss Ianto gently. After a few moments Ianto relaxed into the kisses. Soon they were scrambling at each other's clothes and rolling on the bed playfully wrestling for control, their earlier encounter completely forgotten.

"So beautiful," Jack murmured, stroking Ianto's back. Ianto sighed happily. "So gorgeous," Jack continued. He pressed Ianto down into the bed on his stomach and started massaging Ianto's back, dropping kisses wherever he could. He licked along Ianto's spine. Ianto shivered.

"Jack," Ianto sighed. He shifted, raising his hips in invitation.

"What do you want, _ashe?" _Jack asked softly, kissing behind Ianto's ear. He caressed Ianto's ass, moving his fingers lightly along the crack.

"Your mouth on me," Ianto whispered, so low that Jack had to bend over him to hear.

"Like this?" Jack wondered, teasing, licking Ianto's ear, though he had an idea what Ianto really wanted. Ianto shivered again.

"No, stupid," Ianto answered with a giggle.

"No? How about this?" Jack ran his tongue over the back of Ianto's neck, before biting gently.

"Lower," Ianto hissed. Jack chuckled softly and moved lower, taking one of Ianto's big toes in his mouth and sucking on it. "Oh!"

Jack sucked on each of Ianto's toes one at a time, wrapping his tongue around them and grazing them gently with his teeth. Ianto burst into laughter and nearly kicked Jack in the face when Jack licked along the bottom of his foot.

"Stop!" Ianto cried between laughing fits. "Stop, I'm too ticklish there!"

Jack crawled forward to lay his whole body on top of Ianto's, his chest pressing against Ianto's back. Ianto rolled slightly, turning so they could kiss. Jack caressed Ianto's ass with his free hand as he held himself up slightly with the other. He stroked the swell between Ianto's ass and legs, and Ianto stilled almost instantly. Smiling, Jack kissed Ianto again.

"You want my mouth here?" he asked when they came up for air, brushing his fingers lightly over Ianto's hole.

"Yes!"

"Say it," Jack ordered gently. "Tell me exactly what you want."

"Lick me — there," Ianto gasped.

Jack shook his head, pressing a dry finger over Ianto's opening. "Say it clearly, Ianto. I want to hear you talking dirty with that wonderful accent of yours." He took the finger away, moving his hand to stroke Ianto's leg.

"God, Jack, you know what I want, just do it already!"

"I want to hear you say it," Jack repeated.

Ianto debated with himself for a minute, trying to decide how far he could push Jack and still get what he wanted. Finally, he gave in, knowing Jack had more patience than him that night, if only because he wasn't drunk and feeling needy the way Ianto was.

"Lick my ass," he growled, his voice low and husky with desire. "Fuck my hole with your tongue. Make me come just from rimming me," he finished, sighing in relief as Jack moved to do what he asked.

***TW TW TW***

"I can't believe you did that yesterday," Ianto exclaimed as he scrubbed Jack's back in the shower before they left his flat for work.

"Did what?" Jack asked sleepily. "I thought you enjoyed it! You sure sounded like you enjoyed it. You kept encouraging me!"

"Not that," Ianto muttered, exasperated. "You called me one of your things to that alien, Sebastian. I'm not a thing!"

"No, but that's the language he understands. I know you're not a thing, and I'm sorry I called you that. I just needed him to know you were off-limits."

"So you called me yours?"

Jack shrugged and took the soap to scrub Ianto's back.

"Do you think of me that way? Yours?" Ianto asked hesitantly, only able to ask the question because he wasn't looking at Jack.

Jack paused and leaned his forehead against Ianto's shoulder. "Sometimes," he admitted. "I wasn't thinking when I said it, I was reacting. So I guess part of me does."

Ianto turned, taking Jack in his arms and tilting his chin up so he had to meet his eyes. "I don't mind," he said intensely. "You told me once you were very possessive. I've accepted that that's part of being with you, even though we're just friends who have sex."

"That was play when I said that," Jack growled, backing away slightly.

"Sometimes play contains truth," Ianto commented softly.

"Let's just get ready for work," Jack deflected, changing the subject. "You go in before me, do your usual thing. I'll bring pastries for the morning meeting at ten. Wouldn't want Owen to miss it." Ianto nodded, accepting the topic change and that he wouldn't get anything more out of Jack that morning.

"Of course, sir."


	36. Chapter 36: Out of Time

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 36: Out of Time**

A/N: At this point I have the story written through the end of season one. I have an outline for a lengthy (at least five chapters) Year That Never Was arc. Please let me know if you want the next few chapters in quick succession or at a slower pace, to accommodate writing the next arc. Be warned, the next few chapters get dark before the light shines through again.

As always, please read, review, and enjoy!

.

"Do you have plans for Christmas?" Jack asked into the dark.

Ianto, curled against him, sighed before responding. "I'll probably go see my niece and nephew for a few hours. Can't spend too much time there. My sister and me, we don't understand each other anymore, if we ever did." He burrowed under the blanket and tightened his grip on Jack. "You?"

"Watching the Rift, as usual."

"I could come over," Ianto suggested. "Help you out."

"No, I want you to have the day off. You don't get enough days off as it is. And you shouldn't miss a chance to see your family."

Ianto hummed in response and smiled in the dark. That Jack was concerned about him in this way felt good, like they were getting closer again, rather than just having sex. And that _dinner-that's-not-a-date_ a few days ago? Ianto was eagerly looking forward to the next one.

"I only ever sleep more than an hour or two unless I'm with you," Jack said out of nowhere.

"Is that a backwards way of asking me to stay overnight with you more often?" Ianto teased, making it into a joke so that if Jack denied it, it wouldn't hurt as much. Jack, however, surprised him.

"Yeah, I think it is."

Ianto pulled back to look at Jack as closely as the dim bunker would allow. "Well, you know how I hate to leave a warm bed to go home in the middle of the night," he mused. "And it's not like we go to my flat more than two or three times a month, what with watching the Rift. You never stay until morning, anyway, even if we are there." He paused, drawing out the moment, wondering if Jack would get impatient or anxious. "If I said yes, you'd have to get a bigger bed down here," Ianto proposed.

"I don't think that'll be too much of a problem," Jack replied, the smile in his voice clear. He reached for Ianto's face and pulled him up for a deep kiss. "So you're considering it?" Jack asked when they came up for air. He sounded nervous, unsure. He'd been sounding like that a few times recently, Ianto noted in the back of his mind.

"I'm considering it."

"What's the hold up?" Jack asked in his usual blunt way.

"It's considerably more intimate to sleep together than to just have sex. I wouldn't want it to go beyond your boundaries for that kind of thing. You want casual, still, don't you? Unless you've changed your mind?"

"No, I haven't changed my mind."

"Pity," Ianto muttered under his breath.

"I can't give you more," Jack whispered. He drew in a sharp breath. "I just can't," he repeated, and this time Ianto heard a depth of loneliness in Jack's voice he'd never heard before. Jack rolled onto his side away from Ianto.

"Jack?" Ianto sat up and laid a hand on Jack's shoulder when he began trembling. "Are you OK?"

"Oh, Ianto_,_ it hurts so much!" Jack broke down, tears streaming down his face. "I hate being alone, but I can't be anything _but_ alone if I'm going to stay sane. It's too painful to lose all of you, otherwise."

Ianto settled back down and wrapped Jack in a tight embrace. "Easy, _ashe, _let it all out. That's it. You're safe with me," Ianto murmured softly into Jack's ear, over and over again as Jack sobbed. "I'm here, _ashe. Kip seme heh, kip seme heh." _

"Your accent's beautiful even in Boevian," Jack said when he had stopped crying. "Did you pick that up just from random things I've said?"

"Yeah. I've always been good with languages. Did I say it right? I was trying to say 'you'll be OK.'"

"You said 'you're OK.' 'You'll be OK' is _kip'ta seme heh. _The 'ta' indicates a future tense."

"_Kip'ta seme heh,_" Ianto repeated. "_A'kip'ta seme heh?"_ he asked finally.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. As fine as I ever am," Jack muttered dejectedly.

"Jack? Crying about losing me is kind of silly when you have me right here, you know. I've told you, I'm not going anywhere."

"You could die tomorrow," Jack pointed out. "You'd be gone and I'd have to go on."

"So? Doesn't that tell you that you should enjoy today? Live life to the fullest because all we have is now?"

"You're very wise," Jack said, turning back to Ianto. "How did you get so wise?"

Ianto shrugged and repositioned himself around Jack. "I lost Lisa. But when I think of her, I try to remember the good times we had. Because she wouldn't want me dwelling on those last few months, on her pain. She wouldn't want me thinking of how that thing took her body and used it and manipulated me. So I don't think about it." He stroked Jack's cheek. "When I die, I want you to have more good memories of us than bad ones. I want you to know that I cared about you, and trusted you. You literally picked me up off the ground and held me up when I was too upset and lost in pain to do it myself."

"Ianto…"

"So give me whatever you can give me, and I'll take it, you understand?" Ianto growled, tugging on Jack's hair. "I might want more than casual, but I know you can't give it to me, OK? I know that. I won't ask for more. I won't push for more. But do one thing for me, Jack. Don't close me out because you're going to lose me someday in the future."

Jack nodded silently.

"And if you happen to change your mind," Ianto whispered intently, his breath hot on Jack's lips, "tell me. I'll be right there with you."

"_Ashe," _Jack breathed. "_Ashe'ha." _

They kissed for a long time before Ianto called a halt by pulling away. "You're going to have to tell me what that means, you know," he said playfully, nibbling on Jack's ear. "_Ashe'ha. _My _ashe," _he said.

Jack moaned softly. "Goddess, I love hearing you call me that."

"But what does it mean?"

"When I'm ready, _ashe," _Jack answered. "When I'm ready, I promise I'll tell you."

***TW TW TW***

"Ianto?" Gwen asked, coming up behind him as he sat at a workstation looking up local hotels and safehouses that might be appropriate for their newest batch of Rift victims from 1953. He was very glad that they were all healthy and wouldn't have to go to Flat Holm.

"Yes, Gwen?"

"You were down in Jack's room earlier," she accused, her voice confrontational. "The one under his office. What were you doing down there?"

Ianto suppressed an eye-roll. _What do you think I was doing down there, Gwen? I have sex with Jack almost every day! Have you even noticed that I'm wearing one of his shirts today because I'm behind on the dry cleaning? _

"I take care of Jack's laundry," he replied aloud. "Didn't you see the shirt in my hand?" he added sarcastically.

"But couldn't he just, I don't know, leave it for you somewhere? You shouldn't have to go down there."

"Jack is hardly the kind of man who would change years of habitual behavior to make my job easier, Gwen. It's fine."

"Oh, well, if you want me to help you sometime, or anything…" she trailed off.

"Thank you for the offer. Now, if you don't mind, I have some more research to do here." Ianto indicated the computer.

"Um, sure. Thanks, Ianto."

Ianto smirked to himself as she walked away. _Putting your hopes in the wrong place, _he thought.

***TW TW TW***

Jack stumbled into the Hub, still woozy from dying so many times in the car with John Ellis. Belatedly, he realized it was Ianto's car, and he'd have to do something about it. He wandered over to Tosh's workstation and saw that Ianto was still logged on. He opened the messenger program and had a short conversation with him.

Not caring about much of anything after that, let alone 21st century modesty, Jack stripped off his clothes in the middle of the Hub before walking naked to the communal showers. He didn't fancy a fall down the ladder to his bunker after all the deaths he'd had. He managed to turn on the water before he passed out.

Jack woke with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. He lay in the Autopsy Bay with a light blanket covering him. He shivered. The lights were all on, and he tried to lift his arm to cover his eyes, only to find an IV in his arm. He shot up into a sitting position, only to be pushed back down gently by Ianto.

"Easy does it, sir," Ianto said softly. "Just relax a bit longer, yeah? Then I can get you free of all this stuff and clean again."

"Ianto? What happened?" Jack croaked.

"You passed out in the shower. I brought you here and took some measures to treat you."

"A bullet in the brain would've been faster," Jack grumbled.

"I'm not shooting you!" Ianto exclaimed.

"Seriously, it would make all this unnecessary," Jack said, weakly waving the hand without an IV. "I'd just reset and not have to deal with all this."

"Jack, no. Don't ask me to shoot you."

"Someday it might be necessary," Jack pointed out. "It might be the only thing to help me."

"Not tonight, please," Ianto begged. "Just let me take care of you."

Jack rolled his eyes and sighed. "OK," he finally said.

"Thank you," Ianto answered, pressing a kiss to Jack's forehead. "Ugh!" Ianto drew away quickly. "How long were you sitting in there with him? You taste like petrol."

"Lost count of how many times I died," Jack said. "At least five times."

"Well, between the oxygen and fluids, you should be feeling better soon." Ianto brushed Jack's hair off his face. "You'll be OK for a little while? I've got to gather your clothing from where you've left it. I'd already taken care of John before I went to find you."

Jack closed his eyes and drifted, listening to the sounds of the Hub and Ianto moving around. By the time Ianto returned, Jack was feeling much better. Ianto checked his blood pressure, pulse, temperature and shined a small light in his eyes. Pronouncing him 'mostly better,' Ianto took off the oxygen and removed the IV. Together they walked back to the showers, where Ianto helped Jack wash off the smell of the carbon monoxide. Dressed again, Ianto settled Jack onto the couch at the front of the Hub and covered him with a blanket. He agreed that going down the ladder to the bunker wasn't a good idea, and Jack was adamant that after that many deaths in quick succession, he'd need to sleep.

"Where's Owen?" Jack asked suddenly. "He should be here. He's the Medical Officer!"

"I called him at least ten times," Ianto grumbled. "He didn't pick up, and the messages that you were in need of his medical skills clearly didn't get him in here." Ianto handed Jack a water bottle. "I'm just glad I had enough training to insert an IV."

Jack shifted over and patted the edge of the sofa. "Come sit," he suggested. Ianto smiled and settled on the far end of the couch so that Jack could lay his head in his lap. Once in a comfortable position, Jack let out a long breath and relaxed. Ianto started running his fingers through Jack's hair.

"You going to be OK?" Ianto asked in a whisper.

"Eventually."

"Anything else I can do for you?"

"No, just stay here while I sleep."

"Of course."

***TW TW TW***

Tosh giggling woke Ianto. He started up, waking Jack, who was still sleeping with his head on Ianto's lap.

"Ungh— what?" Jack asked, rubbing his eyes as he sat up.

"You two are so cute!" Tosh practically shrieked, she was so excited. "Look, I have pictures!" She pointed at her workstation where each monitor showed a slightly different picture of Jack and Ianto sleeping together on the sofa. Ianto was leaning back with his mouth slightly open, and his hand rested on Jack's shoulder. Jack, wrapped in the blanket, had his arms around Ianto's waist and his cheek resting on Ianto's thigh.

Jack ran his fingers through his hair and peered at the pictures. "What do you think, Ianto?" Jack asked. "One for the scrapbook?"

"Definitely not," Ianto replied. "I look horrible! Besides, we don't _have_ a scrapbook."

"I do," Tosh said. "A Torchwood scrapbook. I'll show you." She bustled over to her workstation and pulled up a folder with dozens of sub folders of pictures. Most were either screen captures from CCTV cameras, and thus of poor quality, or from cell phones, of only slightly better quality. Gwen arrived through the cog door and joined them as Tosh was going through the pictures of the various aliens they'd captured over the years since Tosh had joined.

"Tosh, this is fabulous," Gwen declared. "Do you have any with us in them?"

"Of course. There's a folder for tech, a folder for the aliens, a folder for each of us."

"I bet my folder's the largest," Jack put in, stretching to show off his muscles.

"Is that what you're calling it these days, sir?" Ianto asked with a smirk.

"Hush, you," Jack muttered, shoving playfully at Ianto's shoulder.

They stood around watching for several minutes before Ianto left to make coffees. When he returned, Jack was teasing Tosh about Tommy Brockless, who's image was on screen. Gwen had wandered back to her desk and was going through the CCTV footage from the night before.

"Jack!" Gwen called. "Why are you running around the Hub naked?"

"Again?" Tosh asked, only mildly interested.

"Because I can," Jack answered cheekily.

"Oh my God! Ianto? Did Jack faint or something?" Gwen demanded, pointing to an image of Ianto carrying an unconscious (and still naked) Jack to the Autopsy Bay.

Ianto glanced over her shoulder as he handed her a mug of coffee. "He did, as a matter of fact. John Ellis stole my car, so I was waiting back here. When Jack got back, he was a bit mad from the exhaust fumes. He tried to stop John from killing himself. Didn't make it there in time, unfortunately. I found Jack passed out in the showers and did what I could for him."

"Oh."

"Ianto took good care of me," Jack said, accepting his own mug and taking a grateful sip. He winked at Ianto, who ignored him.

"You can put in IVs?" Tosh asked. "Is there anything you can't do?"

"Raise Owen on the phone, apparently," Ianto answered. "Speaking of, I think I'll give him another call."

"OK, kids, time to get to work," Jack said, clapping his hands together in anticipation. "Gwen, you can drive me to where the SUV is so we can have it back here. Tosh, track down Owen, tell him to get himself here. Ianto, get me some breakfast for when I get back, then make sure everything's set up for my call with the Queen this afternoon. We'll have a team meeting at three."


	37. Chapter 37: Combat

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 37: Combat**

A/N: Warnings for violence and mature themes in this chapter. Not much actual sex, but it's mentioned. Combat is one of my favorite episodes of the first season, especially since things start turning dark. Please enjoy, read and review.

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Ianto couldn't remember a time since the cannibals when he'd had a worse two weeks. First, with Owen more erratic than usual about when he came to work, Ianto was being pressed into the field, and he didn't like it. He hated handling guns, but he did it, knowing that Jack needed him and that he'd do anything for Jack. He'd had to watch Jack die several times while on missions, and the sick feeling in his stomach waiting for him to return was getting worse with each death he witnessed.

Second, Jack's temper was off the charts, and had been since John Ellis died. He snapped and snarled at everyone. He was constantly angry, mostly at Owen, who wasn't there, so Ianto ended up taking the brunt of it so that Jack didn't alienate the rest of the team. Ianto still didn't believe that two days after their _dinner-that-wasn't-a-date_ everything went to shit. But, on second thought, he wasn't surprised, either.

Third, Jack refused to have sex with him.

Not that Ianto minded too much about the sex, because the last four times they'd tried, Jack's temper had gotten out of control and Ianto had used his safeword. They weren't even playing or doing anything kinky, and Jack hadn't hit him, just been too rough for him to take comfortably. And since Jack was in no mood to be on the bottom, or do anything other than fuck Ianto, Ianto's hands were figuratively tied. The most recent time, Jack just collapsed, sobbing, unable to be comforted, afraid that he'd hurt Ianto too badly. It took Ianto three hours to reassure Jack that he was just sore, and that he'd be fine. Jack refused to have sex with him after that.

Owen noticed Ianto's slight limp two days later and corralled him into the Autopsy Bay for an exam Ianto tried desperately to get out of, knowing what Owen would find. Fortunately, Jack had already sent the women home for a rare "night without Torchwood" when Owen unceremoniously told Ianto to drop his trousers and get on the table.

"I don't give a flying fuck if you have safewords if you let him do this to you!" Owen shouted at Ianto as Ianto pulled his trousers up after the exam. "You're a grown man! If it hurts, tell him to bugger off and put his dick somewhere else! I'll not be patching you up every other day because you let him hurt you! Do you have any idea what kinds of diseases you could get with sex this rough?"

"No," Ianto replied, mustering as much dignity as he could, crossing his arms over his chest. "And I don't care. Jack needs me, and if this is how he needs me, this is what I'm doing!"

"Jack!" Owen thundered, his voice loud enough to echo across the Hub and startle Myfanwy in her nest. "Get the fuck over here this instant!"

"What?" Jack snarled, leaning over the railings above the Autopsy Bay. "This had better be good, Owen, because I am _not _in the mood."

"Not in the mood?" Owen sneered. "Good, because your moods are hurting Ianto here," he said, waving his hands in Ianto's general direction. "I'm putting him on preventative antibiotics because _you_ can't seem to control yourself and _he_ can't seem to say no."

"What?" Ianto demanded, turning to Owen. "You didn't tell me —"

"Ianto, what are you keeping from me?" Jack asked in that silky voice that meant Jack was on the verge of melting down or causing serious bodily harm to whoever was nearest.

"I —"

"Two days since you fucked and he's still bleeding," Owen shouted, cutting Ianto off. "See, he didn't think you needed to know that. He thought if he kept it quiet and gave you some time off, he'd get better and —"

"But we stopped…" Jack breathed, anger melting into confusion and hurt. "You told me to stop and I stopped…" he said to Ianto.

"Well, he didn't tell you soon enough," Owen snapped. "He's —"

"Enough, Owen," Ianto interrupted. "I'll tell him myself."

"Will you? You clearly didn't before."

"You want to be here? Hear me say it? Humiliate me? Fine." Ianto turned to Jack, who was still looming over them both from above. "The last few times we've been together — when I've used my safeword — I waited too long. I let you hurt me, because I thought it would help you get the anger out, like we did after Lisa…"

"Four times you've made him bleed, Harkness," Owen interjected. "Four times he didn't tell you, or me, or get any kind of treatment —"

Jack's mouth dropped open in horror. He stood there, staring at Ianto as if he'd never seen him before in his life. Before Owen or Ianto could react, Jack grabbed a glass beaker from Owen's desk and threw it as hard as he could at the floor, deliberately in the opposite direction from the Autopsy Bay.

"You promised you'd never let me do that!" Jack shouted, throwing another beaker. Tears streamed down his face, unheeded in his anger. "You promised you'd tell me! You promised you'd stop me! I trusted you to do it!"

"Jack —" Ianto started, stepping forward and holding out a hand in his direction.

"How can I ever have sex with you again if you don't tell me when I'm hurting you?" Jack demanded, anguished. He threw a third beaker, then turned and ran, disappearing into the lower levels. Ianto bolted after him.

"Owen, get something to knock him out!" Ianto shouted behind him. "He might hurt himself!"

"Fuck!" Owen grabbed a hypodermic needle filled with a standard sedative and ran after them, throwing one of his spare med kits over his shoulder, cursing colorfully the entire time. He nearly tripped when he heard the first gunshot. Coming around the corner, he froze as Ianto raised his gun and fired. Jack collapsed.

Before Owen could process what was happening, Ianto was on his knees next to Jack, rolling him onto his back and pressing a handkerchief to the bullet wound in Jack's thigh.

"Now you listen to me, Jack Harkness," Ianto hissed, pressing firmly on the wound. "You are not responsible for this. Do you understand?"

"Ianto…" Jack groaned.

"Do you understand?" Ianto shouted, pressing harder. Jack cried out in pain.

"I understand! I understand!" Jack shouted back. "_Ha'kamma shi! Ha'kamma shi!" _

"_A'heh'kamma shi tote?" _Ianto demanded. "What do you understand?"

"Ianto…"

"_A'heh'kamma shi tote?" _Ianto repeated, louder, pressing harder on the injury.

"You know what you're doing…" Jack whimpered.

"Remember that," Ianto growled, releasing the wound. Jack dropped his head to the concrete floor, breathing a sigh of relief. Ianto guided his hand to his leg. "Do you want something for the pain?" Ianto asked gently.

"No," Jack answered, gritting his teeth, his breathing ragged. "I'll be fine in a minute."

"Owen, give him something," Ianto ordered. He pressed a bloody hand to Jack's forehead. "_Kip'ta seme heh, ashe," _Ianto added in a low tone. Jack's lips twitched in a slight smile. "You're going to be alright."

Owen collapsed to his knees next to Jack and quickly checked his vital signs before injecting an analgesic. "Let me look at the wound," Owen asked, pulling Jack's hand away. Ianto produced a torch and shined the light on Jack's bloody leg. Owen cut away the fabric of Jack's trousers and gasped. As he and Ianto watched, the wound closed, the skin looking as smooth as if he'd never been shot.

"Told you I'd be fine," Jack muttered. With their help, he sat up. "Bullet went right through," he commented. "You're a brilliant shot, Ianto, as expected." He patted Ianto's arm. "Must be that extra training we've been doing," he said with his usual flirtatious tone.

"Shit," Owen breathed. "I knew you healed fast, but this —"

"Good genes," Jack explained, interrupting him. "And, before you ask, no, you can't do any tests."

"Well, fuck me," Owen muttered.

"Come on, sir, let's go have that talk I've been putting off," Ianto said, standing and offering Jack his hand to help him to his feet.

Owen looked from one to the other of them. "That's it? You shoot him and now you're going to have a talk? What's wrong with you two?"

"We have an understanding," Ianto explained. "Coffee or scotch?" he asked Jack.

"Coffee, please."

"Owen?"

"Scotch. Definitely Scotch."

***TW TW TW***

"How much retcon did you give him?" Jack asked as he accepted a mug of coffee from Ianto.

"Enough for six hours. He's asleep already, so I wiped his notes and made it look like he fell asleep while writing about Weevils," Ianto answered, settling onto the camp bed next to Jack with his own coffee.

"Hmm," Jack replied, sipping the hot beverage. He was wearing fresh clothes and looked like he'd just gotten out of the shower.

"I'm sorry I had to shoot you like that," Ianto began hesitantly.

"No, I was completely out of control," Jack said. "You should've done it last week."

"I don't like hurting you."

"I know," Jack said with a sigh. "But I don't like hurting you either, and you've been letting me. Like I said before, how am I supposed to trust you when we're having sex if you won't talk to me?"

"I just didn't know what to do," Ianto protested. "Ever since John died you've been angry and withdrawn. And Owen's making it worse by being unreliable, which makes you more angry. You haven't been to my flat in weeks, and you won't talk to me. What was I supposed to do instead?"

"I don't know," Jack said softly, staring into the empty mug he cradled in his hands. "When he died, and I sat with him… I was jealous," Jack finally admitted. "He could let go, and die, and he wouldn't come back, but I'll never have that option. Do you know how hard it is to keep going when everything I knew growing up hasn't even happened yet? I'm stuck in this backwards time, and I can't do anything about it."

"So, you want to die," Ianto stated. He stared straight ahead at the blank wall in front of him.

"Yes," Jack whispered. "I mean, no. I mean — I don't know what I mean. Sometimes… sometimes I do, but just as often, I don't."

"What keeps you going?"

"You mean aside from the fact that I keep coming back? A few things. Knowing the Doctor is out there and hoping that he can fix me. Having Torchwood and a mission to protect people." Jack took a deep breath before continuing. "Lately, knowing you has helped."

"Me?" Ianto whipped his head around to meet Jack's eyes.

"You know how long it's been since I've had someone like you in my life," Jack murmured. "I've been trying not to shut you out."

"It hasn't been working very well," Ianto pointed out.

"You haven't been talking to me, either."

"No, I guess I haven't been."

"Tell me what's going on medically, Ianto," Jack said, putting down his coffee mug and turning to face Ianto full on. Ianto put down his own mug.

"It's not as bad as Owen said. Just a little blood." He looked away from Jack, then looked back at him. "The first time I used my safeword, I stopped you immediately when it started hurting. There was a little bit of blood. I took care of it. Got some cream at Tesco's. The second time was the same. But the third time, you seemed to need it so much, to get out the aggression, I let you continue longer than I should have. I know that now. It hurt a lot, but you were so good to me afterwards, I let it go."

"It was your day off the next day," Jack remembered. "You went home in the middle of the night and I didn't hear from you until you came in two days later. I had no idea I'd hurt you enough to make you bleed."

"I didn't want to worry you."

"I'm worried now."

"I'm sorry."

"And the last time?" Jack asked.

"I didn't let it go as long, but I was still tender from the time before. And then you broke down like that, and —"

"It was too much like what had happened to me," Jack interrupted. "You kept using your safeword, and I saw the blood that time, and it just threw me back there."

"A flashback?"

"I think so. I was right back there… 1871, a small town in Virginia. I was beaten and raped by a whole gang and left for dead. I think I bled out, though at the time I just thought I'd fainted. I didn't know I couldn't really die back then. All for coming on to the wrong guy. It happened three more times in two more states over the next five years before I finally learned the signals of the times." Jack shuddered at the memory. "So when I saw you…"

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Ianto whispered. "But that's not what you did to me. You weren't forcing me. You weren't trying to hurt me. It was an accident. A stupid accident because I didn't think enough."

Jack pulled Ianto onto his lap so that Ianto was straddling him. He held Ianto close. Ianto put his arms around Jack. They sat like that for nearly an hour without speaking before Ianto tried to pull away.

"I should check on Owen," he said, regretful that he would have to leave the embrace.

"What did he say about a prognosis?"

"I can't bottom for two weeks, then take it slow and easy."

Jack nodded thoughtfully. "You want to stay the night? Just to sleep?"

"No. But you can come to mine, if you want," Ianto hastened to add when Jack's face fell at the rejection. "We'd have to get some food on the way."

"I gave the girls the night off. Gwen has a date with Rhys, and I don't want her to lose that. I can forward Rift activity to my wriststrap."

"And Owen?"

"Left twenty minutes ago. I heard the alarm."

"Well, then, let's go ourselves," Ianto said, pecking Jack on the cheek before standing.

"Owen's right, you know," Jack blurted. "We _do_ have a fucked up relationship if you can shoot me and everything's fine a few hours later."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," Ianto said sincerely. "I mean, I would, but I'm content with what we have. I've made that clear, right?"

Jack nodded.

"You have," he said very softly, not quite meeting Ianto's eyes.

Ianto bent to kiss Jack on the lips before moving to the ladder. As he put his foot on the first rung, an alert sounded. He clambered up and checked the computer. "Weevil," he reported as Jack joined him in Jack's office. "Just one."

"You go home," Jack said, patting Ianto on the back. "I'll take care of it and join you once it's back in the sewers."

"Be careful," Ianto warned.

Jack smiled sadly and patted Ianto on the back again. "I'll see you later."

***TW TW TW***

Ianto had not been to Tosh's flat since she moved. He liked it. It was elegant. It was very _her._ He frowned at the picture of Owen on her fridge. Owen, who was in the hospital for getting into a cage with a Weevil.

"Make yourself at home," Tosh said listlessly as she dropped her pocketbook on the kitchen table. She then went into her living room and collapsed onto the sofa. Ianto followed her shortly with a bottle of vodka he found in her freezer and a container of orange juice. She looked up at him in surprise as he put two glasses on the coffee table in front of them. "What?"

"We are going to get very drunk," Ianto declared. He mixed drinks for them and handed her one.

"Why?" she asked, obediently taking a sip.

"Because Owen and Jack have been colossal idiots for the past few weeks, and we need to let go and yell at them in absentia."

"Works for me," Tosh murmured.

They didn't say much for a while as they concentrated on drinking. Finally, when Tosh felt the buzz of the alcohol, she turned to Ianto and asked the question she'd been wanting to ask for a long time.

"What's going on with you and Jack?"

Ianto only just managed not to spit out his drink. "Not much. He's been angry and upset for weeks now. Hasn't been talking to me."

"The other week, when I found you two on the couch…"

"Like I said then, John stole my car and I was waiting for Jack to bring it back so I could go home. Then he was in a bad way, so I took care of him. We just happened to fall asleep like that."

"So you're not still —"

"Having sex? No, we're not. Not for a while." Ianto sighed, wondering if the nearly three weeks since they'd actually managed to have sex successfully counted as 'a while' and if he was actually lying to Tosh. His cock informed him quite adamantly that eighteen days was _much more_ than a while and he needed to find Jack and fix the problem. Immediately. He suppressed the urge.

He didn't want to lie, but he knew Jack wanted their relationship secret, and Jack's wishes mattered more than his own most of the time, as unhealthy as he knew it was. He also knew Tosh wouldn't be able to keep from telling the others if she knew the full extent of his relationship with Jack, if her reaction to just seeing them sleeping on the couch fully-clothed was any indication.

"We talk," he conceded. "And I stay late because he's lonely. He likes that I'll listen to his stories without grumbling the way Owen does." Ianto paused, debating his words. "We're friends. We give each other comfort."

"I saw you kissing just the other day!" Tosh exclaimed. "When we got back from letting Janet go."

"Being friends with Jack includes the occasional kiss or night sleeping in his bed without sex," Ianto explained. "I complained about that before, didn't I? Back when we were dealing with those fairies and I was just back to work."

"Sleeping with him without sex, though? Is that even possible?"

"Unfortunately," Ianto muttered.

"You really like him, don't you?"

"Nothing will ever happen, Tosh. He's too afraid of being alone to let anyone in. That's part of why we stopped. After Lisa, we both felt too betrayed by the other to continue as we'd been doing."

"But that night I was there at your flat, he seemed… like he really cared, like he wanted you to be OK."

"He _does_ care," Ianto said. "But not the way I need. So I try to help him keep the loneliness at bay and he kisses me sometimes."

"That's sad," she said softly, finishing her drink and helping herself to another. "Maybe if you could tell him your feelings something could change. Like, maybe he'd be willing to give it another chance."

"Maybe you could tell Owen your feelings," Ianto countered.

"He'll never notice me," she said sadly. "I brought him flowers in the hospital this morning. Did you know that? Big mistake. He swore at me and threw the flowers on the ground."

"Wow. That's harsh."

"Yeah. Well, I should've expected it. He's been out of it as long as Jack has, since Diane left."

"They had a fling, right?" Ianto asked.

"He seems to think he's in love with her. He blames Jack for her leaving, even though it was her choice. Jack wasn't even around at the time. I think he was still recovering from what happened with John."

"Gwen was pretty involved with that girl, Emma. I wonder if there's a pattern of some kind. They've all been in bad moods since then."

"Who knows?" Tosh asked sadly. "You're going to stay over, right? I don't think you should be driving."

"I'll stay. Unless Jack gets it in his head to come find me. The man can be possessive!" Ianto giggled, suddenly feeling the alcohol more. "One time, we were eating dinner, and this alien came by to talk to Jack and ended up coming on to me. Not a lot, but Jack threatened him to back off. You should've seen it! Jack was doing the whole _playing-with-a-sharp-knife-while-glaring-at-the-enemy_ thing. I felt like, if this is what Jack's like with his friends, what's he like if he's dating someone?"

"Dating, huh?"

"He took me to dinner," Ianto admitted proudly in that loud, drunk way that he would probably regret in the morning. "He didn't call it a date, but it felt like a date," he continued. "In fact, he was adamant that it _wasn't _a date."

"You think he stressed it because he was worried what you'd think if it _were_ a date? That he'd be worried you'd want more if you called it a date?"

"It wasn't a date," Ianto declared.

"Did you want it to be a date?"

"Yeah," Ianto whispered. "I kissed him for the first time a year ago tomorrow. I'll be thinking of it all day. With Lisa, we celebrated when we had this anniversary. We went out, had some fun. I don't even know if Jack remembers."

"How about I take the overnight shift? That way you can do something with him."

"We can try. He's been so moody lately, I doubt he'd think of it even if you _did_ volunteer to watch the Rift."

"All we can do is try, right? And it doesn't have to be anything, right? Just invite him to yours for a movie, or something. I heard him muttering about having to watch some James Bond to impress you. You could offer to show him one."

"He wants to impress me?" Ianto demanded.

"Apparently."

"Oh."

Just then, Ianto's phone beeped to indicate a text message. He grinned happily and showed the text to Tosh. She squealed in excitement and hugged him.

_Save tomorrow night for me. I'm taking you out. 7:00, Rift willing. - J_

***TW TW TW***

"Jack!"

Jack, almost to the door of Ianto's building, paused when he heard his name. He turned and smiled at Sharon Barry as she walked up to him, her arms full of groceries.

"Sharon, such a delight," he said with a big smile. He kissed her cheek and took the groceries off her hands. He liked Ianto's neighbor, especially since she seemed so comfortable about their relationship.

"You tease," she answered, patting his arm now that hers were free. "Are you just going up, or are you taking him somewhere tonight?"

Jack held open the door for her. "Actually, we're going out. Today's a year since our first kiss."

"Aren't you romantic!" she exclaimed. "Tell me all about it," she encouraged as they stepped into the lift.

"Well, we'd known each other for six weeks, but had only started talking two weeks before," Jack explained.

"For you that means flirting, doesn't it?" she asked knowingly.

"Well, you know me," he replied with a grin. "Of course I was flirting. The man's beautiful. But that morning, Ianto was handing me a coffee and just — well… he told me that it was against company policy to kiss him, with that raised eyebrow and smooth accent and a twinkle in his eye. He was practically _begging_ to be kissed. So what was I supposed to do? I kissed him."

The lift came to a halt with the usual bell chime and Jack held the doors open for Sharon to proceed him.

"And?" she encouraged, motioning for him to continue.

"That's really all there was. We were at work, and the others were coming in soon, so we left it at that. Kind of thrilling, actually, trying to see what we could get away with."

"Office romances _are _nice, aren't they?" she mused, fitting her key into the lock on her door. "I'll take those from you now, dear," she said, holding out her arms for the groceries. "You have fun tonight. And do try to remember which door is yours this time!" She winked and disappeared into her flat.

Jack shook his head, still smiling, and knocked on Ianto's door. When Ianto didn't answer, he knocked again. Suddenly worried, he pulled out his key and let himself in. The sound of the shower running instantly relaxed him. He took off his shoes and coat and settled onto Ianto's sofa to wait. On the coffee table Ianto's journal lay open. Jack couldn't help himself but pick it up, promising that he'd just see if he was mentioned before putting it down.

_Twelve months ago today I kissed Jack for the first time. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was so nervous, and I wanted it so badly. I must've spent an hour building up the courage to do it, and then, all of a sudden, there he was and I just blurted out something about harassment at work and he kissed me. _

_It was like no kiss I'd ever had. And not just because he's a man. Maybe despite that? There was just something so primal, so __right_ _about it. I easily could've lost myself in that kiss. I think I did, for a minute. _

_I was still so conflicted back then. Lisa, Jack, not knowing what to do. He saved me, in the end. _

_I'm not conflicted anymore. I want Jack. However he'll have me. However long that happens to be. Gotta live life for today, right? _

_It's hard to imagine that nineteen days ago we were sitting in a nice restaurant, enjoying each other's company. So much has happened since then. At least his moods seem to have settled down. I don't like it when he's so angry all the time, and not just because he hurt me by accident. And yes, Jack, if you're reading this, it __was_ _an accident. I'm not upset. And now I'm better, so we can have as much sex as we want. Owen might say I should wait another week, but I don't care. Jack will take good care of me. I trust him. And it's been so long since we were together…_

_He's taking me out tonight. Our second __dinner-that's-not-a-date._ _I wonder where we'll go? Hopefully no alien exes of his show up. Any exes, actually. Just for tonight, I want to be the only one he's thinking of. _

"You are, Ianto Jones," Jack whispered. "And accident or not, I _am_ sorry for hurting you." He closed the book and put it down. He stroked the cover. In the distance, the water shut off. Jack jumped to his feet and walked towards the bedroom, calling out as if he'd just arrived.

"Ianto? You here?"

Ianto poked his head out of the bathroom. "Jack! You're — um —"

"Early?" Jack suggested.

"I was going to say right on time, since I'm a bit late," Ianto said, blushing slightly. "First time for everything, I suppose."

Jack stepped forward and kissed Ianto deeply. "Take all the time you need, _ashe," _Jack murmured. "I'll go amuse myself out there." He motioned to the living room.

"Just don't read my diary," Ianto mock-ordered.

"Um, yeah. About that…" Jack looked away, clearly embarrassed. "I kind of glanced at it. Just the page that was open. Before I realized what it was. No, that's not true. I knew what it was. I was just curious. Well, curious and nosy. And rude. I just wanted to see if I was in there. I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry!" He chanced a glance back up at Ianto's face, realizing that he was babbling.

"Oh, Jack," Ianto said fondly, grabbing his face in both hands. He pressed their foreheads together. "I'm running late because I was debating whether or not to leave it out for you. I knew you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from reading it if it was just sitting there."

"So it wasn't some kind of test of my self-control?"

"No!" Ianto smiled and kissed Jack quickly. "Sometimes it's easier to say things on paper than in person."

"Oh."

"So if you see it out like that, feel free to read the entry I leave out, OK? Just don't go looking for it."

"Sure. Thanks."

"Now go amuse yourself. I have to get dressed."

"Are you sure you don't want help?" Jack asked with a leer, his eyes roving over Ianto's mostly naked body. Ianto shook his head and pushed Jack in the direction of the living room. "For the record," Jack offered over his shoulder. "I want you thinking only about me tonight, too."

***TW TW TW***

"You're taking me to the Hub for dinner?" Ianto asked skeptically as Jack pulled the SUV into its accustomed spot in their secret, underground garage. "Honestly, Jack, I'm not impressed."

"Have a little faith!" Jack said, undoing his seatbelt. "I'll have you know that we're just here to pick up a little surprise I got you. We don't have to be at the restaurant for another hour."

"Please don't tell me you got me an anniversary gift," Ianto muttered, dread filling his veins with ice. "I don't think I could handle that."

"Of course not!" Jack practically shouted. "We're not dating," he added as an afterthought that was anything but, as they both were so focused on it. Jack climbed out of the car and motioned for Ianto to join him.

"Good," Ianto replied, getting out of the car. "Because if we were going to do gifts, which we're _not_, I'd hope you would tell me so I could be a part of it, too."

"Here it is," Jack said, motioning with his hand.

Ianto walked around to Jack's side of the car to see what Jack was looking at. He froze, his eyes wide with surprise, his mouth hanging open inelegantly.

"Well?" Jack asked, pretending indifference as Ianto circled the brand new midnight blue Saab two spaces away from the SUV. "What do you think?"

Ianto peered in the windows at the cream leather seats and state-of-the-art navigation system. He stroked the roof of the car. "I'm not sure what this means," he finally admitted, turning back to Jack, who had moved to lean casually against the SUV.

"Well, I know you've been driving a rental for the last few weeks while you figured out what you wanted, and I thought you'd like something a little more upscale than the Audi, and it was my fault that the Audi was ruined anyway, so, I, um, bought you this as a replacement," Jack said, the words falling out of his mouth in a rush until the last bit where he sounded worried about what Ianto would think of his choice. "It's not a gift," he hastened to add. "It's a replacement. And I don't want you to use it for Torchwood things. It's for you."

"You bought me a car?" Ianto asked, completely flabbergasted.

"Yeah," Jack breathed, taking a small step forward.

"Wait. You bought it, or Torchwood bought it?"

"I did."

Before Jack could process the myriad of emotions on Ianto's face, Ianto had thrown himself across the small distance to grab Jack in a tight hug as he kissed him without mercy. Jack staggered back a step as he responded, his arms coming up to hold Ianto just as tightly. He was grateful for the bulk of the SUV at his back, effectively keeping him standing as his knees almost buckled at the _joylusthappinessexcitement _coming off Ianto in waves. Ianto pulled his lips free of Jack's just long enough to say a quick 'thank you' before locking on to him again. Jack's response (a moan) got lost somewhere around Ianto's teeth.

"Oi! Can't you do that where no one has to see it?" Owen demanded, slamming his car door shut to get their attention. They hadn't noticed him pull up, they were so wrapped up in each other. Ianto reluctantly stepped back from Jack, tugging on his sleeves to straighten them in a nervous gesture.

"He bought me a car!" Ianto exclaimed, pointing, unable to contain his excitement, even at having just been caught out kissing Jack in public by Owen. "Look at it!"

Owen reluctantly walked over to take a peek at the car. "Huh. Didn't think Jack had this kind of taste," he muttered. He looked over at Jack, who stood there with a smug expression on his face. "You did all right, Harkness. Now go off on your bloody date already before my teeth fall out from all this saccharine. And don't expect me to cover the Rift every time you two want a cuddle-fest," he continued, grumbling.

"It's not a date!" Jack and Ianto corrected in unison.

"It's just dinner," Ianto added.

"Well, now that that's cleared up, I'm going to go poke my eyes out and pretend I didn't see your tongues down each other's throats."

As soon as Owen disappeared into the tunnel to the Hub, Ianto turned back to Jack. "Thank you," he said, squeezing Jack's arm. "It's wonderful."

"You deserve nice things," Jack replied. He kissed Ianto tenderly. "I'm sorry I've been so off lately."

"It's ok. We all have off days sometimes."

"No, I've been more off than I should be, and it's not right. I wanted to make it up to you."

"Jack, how many times do I have to tell you that it's fine?" He shook Jack gently, a combination of exasperation and happiness. Jack just shook his head. They stood there for a few minutes smiling at each other.

"Come on, _ashe," _Jack said, holding up the keys to the Saab. "Want to take her for a spin before dinner?"


	38. Chapter 38: Captain Jack Harkness, pt 1

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 38: Captain Jack Harkness, part 1**

A/N: This is a very short chapter to introduce the next section. I was very disturbed by how Jack acted in this episode, and this is the explanation that I've come up with. I hope you like it. Enjoy.

.

As soon as he walked into the Ritz dance hall with Tosh, Jack knew something was wrong. His vision blurred. Something attacked his mind. He slammed up his mental walls, cringing at the headache he knew he would have from doing it so quickly and without the proper preparation. He pulled Tosh into a dance to cover any awkwardness as his training kicked in.

As a Time Agent, he had had years of training in keeping people, creatures, and machines out of his head, but for certain situations, when he knew he wouldn't be able to hold his walls completely, he had another option. Quickly and ruthlessly he cordoned off parts of his mind, his self, the parts of him that meant something. Torchwood. His history in the future, both as a Time Agent and as a Companion of the Doctor. His daughter and grandson. He wouldn't be able to hide his age, but he tried to block away parts of his history since arriving on Earth.

Last of all, he shoved all of his memories of Ianto, all of his feelings, his conflicts, his hopes and dreams and wishes, needs and wants and most of all _love_, everything to do with the man except his name into a small box in his head that he locked painfully tightly with a mnemonic only to be broken when Ianto looked him in the eyes again.

His boxes stacked safely away behind closed doors in his mind, Ianto's and the Doctor's boxes behind several more layers than the others so that they would be the last to be breached in the event of an all out psychic attack, he cleared his head and joked with Tosh, ready to fight whatever threat loomed. He became a new man.

He felt the temporal shift as it happened. His mind briefly grew fuzzy before it cleared. He looked around and saw a time he never thought he'd see again, a time that felt like home.

"They're not ghosts," he reported to Tosh, looking up from his Vortex Manipulator and indicating the soldiers and their sweethearts dancing around them. "It's a simple temporal shift. And it's beautiful!" He laughed delightedly, his grin huge.


	39. Chapter 39: Captain Jack Harkness, pt 2

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 39: Captain Jack Harkness, part 2**

"It had to be the most romantic thing I've ever seen," Tosh gushed as she kept Ianto company while he made what he hoped was the last round of coffee for the day. Owen and Gwen had left for home as soon as Jack shut his office door, and with Jack and Tosh holed up in Jack's office for the last hour, talking softly and drinking Jack's special whiskey, Ianto didn't have anything to do except monitor the Rift and wonder if he'd done the right thing by shooting Owen. Jack had barely glanced in his direction when he and Tosh returned to the Hub, nor had he greeted Ianto. _Something's not quite right, _Ianto thought distractedly.

"What was?" Ianto asked, returning his mind to the conversation at hand.

"Jack and Captain Jack," Tosh replied, her voice a little dreamy. "It was 1941, and we met the real Captain Jack Harkness, the one who's identity our Jack stole." She paused. "You should have seen it. They fell in love at first sight! Both of them. They fell really hard. Our Jack, he kept trying to ignore it, but he couldn't. It was like there was this invisible string pulling them together.

"The other Jack, he was fascinated. He was scared, but he couldn't keep away, either. And that kiss!"

"Kiss?" Ianto croaked.

"Yeah, we were about to leave, the Rift had opened, and Jack turned back to kiss him."

Ianto's hands shook as he pulled out a mug for Tosh's coffee. "They kissed?"

"It was the most amazing kiss I've ever seen. It was gentle and tentative like a first kiss, but then it turned into this kind of desperation. It was hello and I love you and goodbye all at once."

"That's —" Ianto broke off, not sure what to say. He handed Tosh her coffee and began preparing his own.

"It was the kind of kiss you give someone when you know they're dying, when you know you're never going to see them again," Tosh murmured. "The kind of kiss that promises that things will get better, that promises forever."

"I know what that's like," Ianto whispered. He looked up to see the question in her eyes. "When Lisa — it — the Cyberman threw me, I knew I would die. I think I _was_ dead, for a little while. Then Jack was kissing me. He was kissing me, and I felt — for the first time since Canary Wharf — that it would be ok. That whatever happened, it would be ok." Ianto sighed as they took their coffee and walked down the steps to the main part of the Hub. "Then he killed her."

"You two have been through a lot together, haven't you?"

"Yeah," Ianto said sadly.

"Anything come of that date last week?"

"It wasn't a date," Ianto muttered without thinking. "It's never a date with him."

"Yeah, I guess so," Tosh agreed softly. "Seeing him in love like that… I mean, I know he likes you, but he's never looked at you like that. When I've been around to see it, anyway."

Ianto almost choked on his coffee, but Tosh continued as if she hadn't noticed.

"He couldn't keep his eyes off him. They were always talking, watching each other. And for Captain Jack to ask our Jack to dance like that? My God, they both could have been arrested! Or killed! It was illegal back then, you know, to be involved with another man."

"Ianto," Jack called, coming out of his office. "Any chance of some of your coffee magic?"

Ianto stiffened beside Tosh, his fingers tightening on his mug.

"Get it yourself," he muttered, not looking at Jack.

"What was that?" Jack asked, stepping forward, a puzzled expression on his face.

"Get your own bloody coffee for a change, you selfish prat!" Ianto shouted, throwing his coffee mug at Jack.

The mug shattered on the floor in front of Jack, coffee and ceramic shards splattering his pants. He looked up from the mess to meet Ianto's eyes for the briefest of moments before Ianto retreated out of the Hub, the cog door rolling shut behind him.

Jack staggered and nearly fell. Memories slammed into him, everything he had shut away to protect himself during the trip to the past when someone was set on manipulating him. He felt like his brain was going to explode, everything coming back at once.

"Ianto!" he shouted, collapsing to his knees. Tosh ran over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Jack? Jack, are you all right?" she demanded.

Ignoring her, he dashed out the cog door after Ianto. "Ianto!" Jack shouted into his headset. "Ianto, where are you?" He started climbing the stairs, hoping to meet Ianto at the Tourist Office.

"_Leave me alone, Jack,"_ Ianto said quietly.

"Just tell me where you are. I need to explain something to you."

"_I don't know if I can do this anymore."_

"Do what? What are you talking about?"

Ianto sighed. "_Jack, it's just not working. Us. At first — well, we've talked about that. And I've apologized. And you apologized. And we moved on. I thought we had, even after you shut me out for a while when John died."_ Ianto paused. "_I thought I was ok with it all. I really did. And for a while, I was. But — but you can't go and do this and not expect me to react." _

"Ianto, what are you talking about?" The Tourist Office was empty and Jack burst out onto the docks, looking around for Ianto with a tinge of panic in his eyes. He squinted in the early afternoon sunlight.

"_A year, Jack. We've been shagging for a year. And before you say anything, I know that's all it is, and that's all we agreed it would be, but I thought — I thought that even for you, for the great Jack Harkness, shagging someone for a year meant something." _

"It does —"

"_No, Jack, let me finish,"_ Ianto interrupted. "_I accepted the flirting. I know that's just who you are. And I was ok with you keeping the option open to shag others. I think I'd even be OK if you __did_ _shag other people. I get it. You're from a different time, when fidelity's frowned upon. But today— today was too much, Jack. I can't let it go. We have to stop doing this."_

"What do you mean?" Jack asked, his voice slightly hoarse. "What are you saying? Are you breaking up with me? Let me explain!"

"_I shot Owen today, sir. I shot Owen because I knew you would want me to keep the Rift from being opened. I knew you'd find a way back, because even if the others don't know it, __I_ _know you can't die, that you'd find a way back to us, to me, in the right time, even if you had to do it the long way. But I didn't put my all into it, because a part of me, a bigger part than I thought existed, part of me couldn't imagine not seeing you again, couldn't imagine you being gone, couldn't bear the thought that given such freedom, you might not come back. _

"_And what were you doing? What were you doing while I was struggling? You were falling in love. You were falling in love, and it wasn't with me, and you weren't even trying to hide it." _

Ianto took a deep breath and let it out in a strangled sob. "_You don't want anyone to know about us, about you and me, but you'll fall in love with someone you just met, and you'll kiss him in front of his entire regiment, when you know damn well that he could be arrested for that. You've never once kissed me when the team was around, Jack. Do you know that? It's always when they're gone. _

"_But I don't care about the kiss. I care that you can shag me for a year, tell me things you don't tell anyone else, then swan off to fall in love with someone you'll never see again. You didn't even have the balls to tell me yourself, now, did you? I thought I meant something to you, even just a little — I thought — I thought if you were going to fall in love with someone, it would be me —" _

"Ianto," Jack whispered. "I really need to explain —"

"_No, Jack, no more. I'll hand in my resignation in the morning. I can't be near you after this. Goodbye."_

Ianto hung up, leaving Jack in silence. His face hardened and he dashed back to the Hub.

"Toshiko!" Jack shouted, rushing back into the Hub, his voice more panicked than she'd ever heard it before. "Find Ianto, and find him now!" he ordered.

"Jack?" Tosh looked up in surprise. "Is everything ok? You've been acting strange all day."

"Just find him."

"Give me a minute," she muttered, pulling up a map of the city. "His car's still in its usual parking spot," she said, pointing.

"Trace his cell."

"Umm —" Tosh stuck her tongue through her teeth as she concentrated, her fingers flying on her keyboards. "He's at the Millennium Center. Looks like the roof." She paused. "Is something going on with him?"

Jack, punching buttons on his wrist strap, ignored her.

"Jack?"

"You told him about Captain Jack," he said as if stating a fact, a tinge of accusation behind the words.

"Yeah. I thought it was sweet. I thought he'd like to hear about it. I know he worries about you. He thinks you're alone too much. That's why he's always staying late."

"He stays late because we're sleeping together," Jack explained. "Well, we were. Now he's trying to end it."

Tosh's mouth formed a round 'o' of surprise. "Oh my God, Jack, I had no idea! I thought you'd stopped being together ages ago! He keeps telling me nothing's going on, that you're not dating, or anything. No wonder he's upset!"

"We're not dating," Jack said absently. "But I care about him. A lot. I was going to tell him about Captain Jack myself, explain it, but you got there first. There's more going on that what you saw in 1941, and he needs to hear it. Now I have to go do damage control," Jack muttered.

"I'm so sorry," Tosh apologized. "I wouldn't have said anything if I'd known. Really."

"I'm going to find him. If he comes back, keep him here. Do you understand?" Silently Tosh nodded as Jack donned his greatcoat and strode purposefully from the Hub.


	40. Chapter 40: Captain Jack Harkness, pt 3

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 40: Captain Jack Harkness, part 3**

****A/N: Happy Christmas, loyal readers! As requested, here is the conclusion to the CJH episode. Please review and let me know what you think. (I'd _really_ like to make it to 50 reviews by the new year.) End of Days will be next, in three parts, followed by the Year That Never Was arc. Enjoy!

.

Ianto watched on his PDA (with the CCTV app Tosh helpfully installed months ago, along with the mapping software that tracked Jack's location) as Jack scoured the city for him, breaking speed limits to get from place to place, his driving more erratic than usual in his agitation. On the comms, he heard Jack's voice becoming increasingly more worried. He snapped at Tosh. He argued with himself. He called Gwen and Owen to see if they knew where Ianto was. (Gwen simply said no, while Owen swore at Jack that if he couldn't find his own damn Teaboy, he could just go fuck himself because Owen didn't give a shit about the git who shot him when they were supposed to be teammates.)

Jack went to the park where they met, where they'd found the Weevil Janet. He went to the quay outside the tourist office where Ianto first asked for a job, extending a mug of coffee with a cheery hello. He went to the warehouse where they caught Myfanwy. He went to Ianto's apartment and the Italian restaurant where they'd had their first _dinner-that-wasn't-a-date_.

Back at the Hub, he sent Tosh home and searched the entire place, going farther down into the depths of the vaults than even Ianto had gone. He stood in the basement room where Ianto kept Lisa for a long time, running his fingers through his hair and thinking, still muttering to himself, though he'd long since switched to his native language.

He went to the bench on the Plass where they kissed for the first time in the open air, and the railing overlooking the bay that Ianto liked to frequent when he felt sad. He went to Lisa's grave, and the warehouse where Ianto kept Lisa before bringing her to the Hub. Ianto didn't know that Jack knew about it.

Jack retraced his steps. He stood atop the Millennium Center where he'd found Ianto's phone at the start of the chase. _Find me and I'll give you a second chance, _Ianto had written. He searched Ianto's apartment and the Hub again. He went back to the warehouses.

Nine o'clock found Jack sitting on their bench in the Plass, his head in his hands.

"You took your time getting here," Ianto said softly as he sank down on the bench next to Jack.

Jack's head shot up, and Ianto saw tears in his eyes, on his cheeks, wet patches streaking down his coat. "I was here," Jack whispered. "I was here already."

"You went all over the city, looking for me," Ianto said, a tinge of awe in his voice. "You followed the route we took, getting to know each other. If you'd waited five more minutes the last time you were here, I'd have been back from the loo."

"I couldn't stay still. I had to keep looking. I couldn't risk losing you," Jack mumbled. "I was going to tell you about him. I was waiting for Tosh to go so we could talk. There's so much more going on than she saw. There's a trap being sprung, and I'm at the center of it — "

"It's ok, Jack. I get it." Ianto reached for Jack's hand, squeezing it gently. "You've got your second chance. Tomorrow we can figure out what this trap is all about. For now, let's just sit for a bit, yeah?"

They sat in silence for a long time before Ianto broke it. "Come on, sir, we need to get inside, yeah?" He tugged Jack to his feet.

***TW TW TW***

Jack stood on the gantry at the top of the Hub, watching Ianto. _Did I just break his heart a second time? _he wondered. _I know I felt mine crack when he said he wanted to end it. All over a stupid misunderstanding. _

_Why can't I just tell him I love him and be done with all this bullshit and uncertainty? _

_He loves me. I can see it in everything he does for me, in the little looks he gives me, in that shy smile I love so much. _

_But neither of us can tell the other. And if I've broken his heart again, even a little, then what will happen when I have to leave with the Doctor? Because good intentioned as he is, the Doctor can't land at the proper time half the time. The likelihood of him getting me back here the next day, or even week, from when we leave is slim. _

_I can't abandon Ianto, but I can't take him with me. And I __have_ _to see the Doctor! I just hope I get to say goodbye…_

_Either way, I have to tell him the truth about Captain Jack. I'll have to tell him of my training, of how I shut him away so I could keep him safe and with my love for him hidden, I was able to be influenced by another. I wasn't myself, who I am now. I hope he understands. And all these damned psychic attacks... it's like my head's going to explode every other minute.  
_

Jack shook his head in frustration.

_Fuck me if this whole thing isn't two out of three. If he takes me back after I leave to see the Doctor, after I break his heart a third time… Who would have thought I'd have the potential for my __ashe te'hanna_ _here, on Earth, in the 21st century? _

Jack sighed and climbed down, accepting the coffee Ianto handed him. He took a deep breath.

"Ianto, let me tell you what happened," he began.

Before Ianto could answer, several phone lines rang at once. Ianto dashed to a monitor. "UNIT, Downing Street, looks like the President of the United States, even. I'm tracking temporal anomalies!"

"You take Downing Street. I'll take the others," Jack ordered, rushing to his office to answer the phone.

"CIA and whatever the KGB is calling itself these days," Ianto added, the Rift alert screaming out in protest of all the new cracks in the area. Jack, already at his desk with his phone at his ear, swore. "Spaceships in India!" Ianto shouted.

Jack pulled up the image and his face went white. "Daleks," he moaned. "Fuck! Ianto, prioritize my calls and get them queued up! This is going to be a long night."


	41. Chapter 41: End of Days, pt 1

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 41: End of Days, part 1**

A/N: While End of Days is a rather serious episode, I felt that the boys needed a few minutes of down-time amidst all the chaos. Enjoy!

.

"Jack?" Ianto asked, knocking on the doorframe of Jack's office. Jack looked up from the Rift Manipulator Key he was contemplating in his hands. "Jack, I saw Lisa."

"What?"

"I was down in the cells, and I saw her. Not like she was at the end, but whole. Herself. She wants me to open the Rift to get her back."

"You spoke to her?"

"Yes." Ianto paused. "But it wasn't really her. I know that. And ever since then, there's been some kind of noise in my head. Like a scrabbling or scratching at the back of my mind, trying to get in. The kind of thing they taught us to resist at London."

Jack sat up straighter in his chair and motioned for Ianto to close the door. Once Ianto was seated, he turned his focus on Jack. The scrabbling in his head increased, but the pitch was different.

_Does it feel like this, Ianto?_

Ianto jerked in his chair, staring wide-eyed at Jack. "Jack!" he gasped. "You're —"

_In your head. I'm projecting my thoughts to you. Close your eyes and listen to my voice. Does the scrabbling feel like this? _

Ianto paused, closed his eyes, and considered Jack's question. "No. Your voice is nicer. It's kind of slipping in. The other is trying to force itself."

_You're letting me in, Ianto. You've let me in before, so it's more comfortable. _

"When did I let you in?"

Jack grinned. _When we've slept together, _he answered. "But not all the time," he added aloud. "You have some moderate empathic ability, and high emotions can make you project."

"But you said I let you in?"

"When I realized you were doing it, I spoke to you a little. Nothing important, just little things, to see if you could hear me. Like, move that way, or touch me in this way."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you knew," Jack answered immediately. "No one trained by the old Torchwood regime would accidentally let me in like that."

"But I was never trained! Not past the usual two weeks. I told you that ages ago."

Jack frowned. "Really? I thought that was another of your misdirections to get the job. I've noticed you feeling me out for months. Since that night during your suspension when I was at Flat Holm. You'd been doing it the whole time, though, I just never realized it until then, you were so subtle about it."

"But how can I do it without knowing?"

"How do you think you're so good at knowing when I want coffee, or my coat, or anything else? How do you anticipate all of our needs so well?"

"Good observational skills?" Ianto offered hesitantly.

Jack shook his head. "Goddess, Ianto, you didn't know you were doing it, did you? Shit. I'm going to have to train you when this is done."

"Train me?"

"To shield. To project only when you want to. To be even more subtle about sussing us out. To know what the ethics of having a gift like that are."

"But you seem to have it, too. What does that mean?"

"Where I come from, psychic powers are much more common than they are now. I'm only average there, but that's considerably higher here."

"I can't imagine you being average at anything," Ianto muttered, a hesitant smile on his face to let Jack know he was joking. Jack grinned in response, then his face became suddenly serious.

"There's something not right going on, but I can't quite put my finger on it. That man Bilis Manger gives me the creeps, and he's doing the same to Gwen. See what you can come up with on him. I think it's time we paid him a visit."

Ianto nodded, stood.

"Oh, and Ianto?"

"Sir?"

_Later, I want you to — _

Ianto gasped as the image of Jack chained to the ladder in his bunker with Ianto fucking him hard and fast from behind slammed into his head, forcing him to take a step backwards to collapse into his chair as lust overrode his ability to think. He blinked to clear his head and looked at Jack, who had turned away from Ianto to check his email.

"Jack?" he croaked, his mouth dry.

Another image replaced the first, this one of Jack sprawled out on his back on the conference room table, completely naked, as Ianto pounded into him.

"Jack! This is not the time for this!"

A third image, of Ianto this time, naked, rutting against Jack's sheets while Jack stood masturbating behind him. Jack came, groaning, spurting semen along Ianto's back. Jack bent to lick it off him and Ianto felt sensations along with the image. His cock, already hard, twitched painfully against the zipper of his trousers. He groaned aloud.

"Jack," he moaned.

_Come on, __ashe_, _control the images and I'll suck you off. _

Another image: Ianto, bent over Jack's desk, Jack, slapping his ass before caressing it gently. Ianto staring into the main part of the Hub through the glass wall as Jack worked his fingers into Ianto, stretching him, preparing him. Owen, at his work station, turning at the sound of Ianto's groans of pleasure.

Ianto turned around, glaring at Owen's workstation. The doctor wasn't there. _Oh, wait, Jack fired him, _Ianto thought. The entire main floor of the Hub was empty. _The girls must be dealing with other things. _Ianto turned back to Jack.

Another image: In the shooting range, Ianto sucking Jack's cock as Jack fired at the targets, his cock pulsing along with each round.

Ianto screwed his eyes shut. He tried desperately to remember what they'd taught him at London, years ago, now. _Remember. Think of the candle. All you can see is a single candle flame, _he thought. _Then build your wall. Imagine it around you, brick by brick if you need to do it that way. Nothing can get in, nothing can get out. It's just the candle flame within the wall. A castle to protect the single flame. _

Jack's lips on his startled him out of his meditation. His eyes flew open.

"Good work," Jack murmured, reaching down to undo Ianto's fly. "That didn't take as long as I thought it would. I was sure I'd be able to make you come just from the images." He grinned wickedly, licking his lips. "Maybe I will sometime. But now, it's time for your reward."


	42. Chapter 42: End of Days, pt 2

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 42: End of Days, part 2**

**. **

It had been a long six hours since Gwen carried Jack's body back into the Hub, releasing him immediately into Owen and Ianto's arms. They had carefully laid him out on the autopsy table. Ianto had stripped off his bloodied shirt and dressed him in a new one. Then they all took seats around him and waited.

"It shouldn't be taking this long," Ianto said suddenly, startling everyone. "It's never taken this long for him to come back before."

"What do you know about it?" Gwen demanded angrily. "I'm the only one he told before today!"

"He didn't _tell_ you," Ianto snapped, angry. "You only _found out_ because Suzie killed him and he needed to come back to save you. You'd already broken retcon once, he couldn't very well try to do it again."

"Wait, Teaboy, you knew, too?" Owen asked.

"He chose to tell me," Ianto continued. "Because he trusted me. He _asked_ for me to be with him while he died."

"When was this?" Tosh asked gently, laying a hand on Ianto's arm.

"Those spider things, about a month or so before Gwen was hired. The big one poisoned him. He died while catching it, then in the SUV on the way back here. Then he asked for me and died a third time while I sat with him."

"You mean, when we all saw —" Owen started to say, breaking off when Tosh smacked him across the back of the head.

"I've seen it seven times," Gwen declared. She glared at Ianto challengingly.

"Nineteen," Ianto said, answering the unasked question. "And I don't put him in danger."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Gwen said defensively, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Last week, in that warehouse? You deliberately left him to bleed out while you went after the alien when you knew full well that Tosh and Owen had it covered," Ianto snarled. "If I hadn't been on the comms, he would have died and come back completely alone!"

"Well…"

"Just because he comes back, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt!" Ianto finished loudly, standing abruptly. He climbed the steps.

"Hey, where are you going?" Owen demanded.

"I'm getting my notes. I figured, if he ever told you, you'd want more information than his usual 'I can't die' speech," Ianto answered. "You'll want to do tests, I imagine."

"That'd be good," Owen said, falling into his clinical mode. "That'd be really helpful. Maybe we can help him revive, or whatever it is he does."

Ianto nodded and disappeared into the Archives.

"Why would he tell Ianto?" Gwen wondered aloud.

"Because they're shagging," Owen said at the same time that Tosh said, "Because they're dating." They looked at each other in surprise.

"Dating?" Owen asked. "Really?"

"They won't call it that, but that's what it is," Tosh answered in a whisper. "Jack's taken him out to dinner a few times, and they've been sleeping together for ages. They never stopped for more than a few weeks at a time, apparently. And if either of you say I said anything about it, I'll kill you!"

***TW TW TW***

Tosh found Ianto on the fourth day of their vigil collapsed on the floor of Jack's office, clutching Jack's coat to him. He was still wearing the all-black outfit he'd changed into as soon as Owen prepared Jack for the morgue and dressed him in the white scrubs and body bag.

"Owen!" Tosh screamed. Ianto didn't even twitch at the sound.

"He's alive, but out cold," Owen declared, pulling Ianto onto his back and checking his vital signs. "Has he been eating? Drinking? Anything?"

"I don't know," Tosh whispered. "He's been making sure we all have food, so I assumed he was eating, too."

"Doesn't look like it to me. He's probably worn out. Let's at least get him to the couch or something. I don't think he needs more than a chance to sleep and eat."

Tosh tried to take the coat, but Ianto wouldn't let go. He whimpered, mumbling to himself.

"Jack —"

"Bloody hell," Owen exclaimed. He slapped Ianto across the face. Ianto blinked slowly. "Come on, mate, let's get you up."

With their help, Ianto managed to stand. Tosh was able to take the coat, and she hung it on its accustomed coat rack. Once sitting on the lumpy sofa, Ianto covered his face in his hands and sobbed. Tosh sat with him, rubbing his back.

"I miss him, Tosh," Ianto managed to get out through his tears. "All I want is to feel his arms around me one more time. Just once. I'd tell him how I feel—" Ianto broke off as a powerful sob shook him. "I miss him, and I can't even say goodbye properly with Gwen there. It's like she's making a mockery of what I had with him. I mean, I know it wasn't much, but it was something…"

"We'll make sure you have some time, Ianto," she said soothingly. "We know you need it. I'll talk to Owen, and we'll get her to leave him so you can say goodbye, OK?" Ianto nodded silently and tried to compose himself as she went to talk to Owen.

An hour later, Owen and Gwen were yelling at each other loudly enough that Ianto and Tosh could hear every word through the CCTV feed. Ianto cringed and disappeared into the Archives.

"Have some fucking decency, Cooper!" Owen shouted. "You're not the only one who's grieving here."

"He's not dead," Gwen shouted back. "We just have to give him time to revive." She threw herself back onto her stool and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him as she sat beside Jack's body.

"You heard Ianto the other day! It's never taken more than four hours for him to revive. None of the tests I did helped. He's gone, Gwen. We have to face it."

"He shouldn't be left alone," she answered stiffly.

"Well, give some of us the chance to do it, too. Ianto's a wreck, and he deserves to be sitting with him a hell of a lot more than you."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Owen Harper. Jack trusted me. He would want me to be here when he wakes up."

"I don't know what planet you're living on right now, but Jack was shagging Ianto, _not_ you. So get off your high horse and let the man say his goodbyes without an audience!"

"Now, that's unfair —" she started.

"No! What's unfair is that you've been sitting by Jack all by yourself for nearly four days and Ianto hasn't even had a minute alone with him this whole time. Jack and Ianto were together for over a year, and who are you to flounce in here and take all that away from him? He hasn't been eating or drinking, probably not sleeping, either, knowing him. He needs his time with Jack."

"You said yourself they were just shagging. What's the point?"

"The point is that Ianto's lost someone important to him, and he needs to be able to say goodbye. And if you won't let him do that, you're just a selfish little bitch who can't stand to think that anyone else has a closer relationship to Jack than you, when we all know full well that the three of us knew him a hell of a lot longer than you did!"

"What would you know about having to say goodbye to someone?"

"I know more than you ever will," Owen growled. "I know what it's like to lose someone I truly loved, someone who didn't cheat on me with one bloke while lusting after another!"

"How dare you?" she snarled. "Just because Diane left you doesn't give you the right to —"

"This has nothing to do with Diane!"

"Enough!" Tosh shouted, appearing out of nowhere. She slammed a stun gun into Gwen's back, knocking her out. "Come on, Owen, let's get her out of here."

"Should've thought of that myself," Owen muttered as he hoisted Gwen in his arms. He tapped his comms in his ear. "Ianto? It's your turn down here. We're taking her upstairs."

***TW TW TW***

Ianto settled onto the stool next to Jack's body and reached out for his hand. It was cold, but Ianto held it and pressed it to his cheek anyway.

"Jack," he whispered. "I can't believe you're gone. It's like a dream, almost. I keep thinking you'll turn up, ask us if we missed you, something stupid and adorable that was so _you_." He kissed Jack's fingers.

"I never had the courage to tell you how I felt. I know you didn't want to hear it. But I need to tell you now. I need to say the words out loud, even if you're gone.

"I love you, Jack. I've loved you for a very long time. Since before my suspension. I hope you knew that without me saying the words.

"I don't know what to do without you. I'll stay on here, though. You would want that. They need me here, and I wouldn't want to disappoint you by leaving. Your mission for a better Torchwood has become mine, too."

Ianto paused to wipe at the tears on his cheeks. "So I guess this is goodbye. I've always hated goodbyes. I couldn't visit my Tad in the hospital before he died. I couldn't even call him. And Lisa. I couldn't let her go until eight months after she was dead. I needed you to be able to do that.

"I need you, Jack. Please, please don't let this be the end." He squeezed Jack's hand tightly, willing his own energy into Jack. Nothing happened. He sat there for half an hour memorizing Jack's face, talking softly, reminiscing.

"I love you." Ianto said again, bending to kiss Jack's lips for a final time. "Goodbye."

Ianto left the morgue with his head bowed and his hands in his pockets. He couldn't bear to be the one to close Jack in the little drawer. Instead, he went to the showers. He had a spare suit in his locker, for which he was very glad. He didn't think he'd be able to go into Jack's bunker for one of the ones he kept there. Back in the main Hub, he tried to smile at Tosh and Owen, but it looked more like a grimace. Tosh hugged him tightly.

"I'm so sorry," she said.

"Thanks," Ianto answered softly. "Thanks for helping me see him." He let her go. "Owen, you'll take care of the rest? I know I should've just done it, but I — I couldn't do it to him."

"Yeah, sure," Owen answered. "Of course I'll do it."

"Gwen's back down there," Tosh reported from the CCTV feed.

"For God's sake!" Ianto shouted. "Let the man rest in peace already."

Tosh and Owen exchanged a glance. "Ianto, maybe you could help me fix my computer?" Tosh asked. "There's some wires that are still loose." Ianto nodded silently and moved to help.

"I'll just go and do that thing," Owen muttered, walking off.


	43. Chapter 43: End of Days, pt 3

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 43: End of Days, part 3**

****A/N: This is the final chapter in the Season One arc. Enjoy!

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Ianto noticed Tosh's little squeal of joy as she suddenly ran around him and across the Hub. He turned just in time to see her throw herself into Jack's arms. Ianto ran. He stopped right in front of Jack — a living, breathing Jack — and held out his hand, unsure, scared that it was some kind of illusion, that he'd touch Jack and Jack would be a dream, mist, smoke in the air. He wasn't sure if he could survive that. Jack batted his hand away and pulled him into a crushing hug. Ianto breathed in his scent. _Thank God, _he thought. _Thank God! _

"Thank you for bringing me back," Jack whispered, and then his lips were on Ianto's and they were kissing right there in the main Hub, in front of everyone, and Ianto didn't care. Jack was alive! He was alive, and kissing Ianto, and nothing else mattered.

The moment ended far too soon.

After Jack forgave Owen and Owen cried, there was a moment of uncertainty. Jack looked significantly at Ianto, motioned to his office. Ianto nodded and followed Jack, closing the door behind him.

"I heard you," Jack said, taking Ianto into his arms again as they stood there. "I didn't hear the words, but I heard your voice. It helped me find my way back in the darkness." He kissed Ianto tenderly. "And I felt your kisses," Jack murmured softly, running his fingers through Ianto's hair, reveling in the simple gesture and feel of silkiness against his fingers.

"I only kissed you once," Ianto protested even as he leaned into the caress. "Gwen must have done it, if there was more than one."

Jack looked stunned. "Gwen kissed me? I thought she was just spelling you so you could have a break from sitting down there."

"She's been there the whole time," Ianto explained, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice. "All four days. Tosh and Owen had to stun gun her so I could even sit with you for the little time I had."

Jack's brows furrowed. "I'll have to do something about that. You should've been the one with me. You're the one I wanted to see when I woke up!"

"Really?" Ianto asked hesitatingly, not sure he believed Jack after all that had gone on.

"Really," Jack reassured him. They kissed again, long and deep. A promise for more. "Now, much as I'd love to celebrate my resurrection in our usual fashion, there are some things I need to tell you." Ianto nodded, but didn't let go of Jack.

"Just let me hold you," Ianto said, still clutching Jack tightly. "I — I need to know you're still here after being gone so long."

Jack smiled and kissed Ianto again quickly. "Sure, _ashe, _anything you want." He walked them over to the small couch that had appeared in his office while he was dead and sat down with Ianto. "Now, the first thing is that we've all been under a psychic attack for a long time. Months. I think it started with Ellis and the others coming through the Rift. It was _very_ subtle. The most subtle I've ever faced. So much so that I didn't realize it was happening until it was too late."

"That long ago?"

"I thought it started when Tosh and I were sent back to 1941, but things were off before then. Owen's not likely to fall in love so quickly, after Katie, and it's not like him to be quite that reckless, either, even so, to get in a cage with a Weevil. And I was off, too. You even tried to point it out to me."

"It _was _rather disturbing to know you deliberately killed yourself, not once, but many times, in _my_ car, no less."

"Yeah. Well, I have a lot to live for, and something made me forget it. I have _you_ to live for," Jack whispered, kissing Ianto's neck.

"You're really important to me, Ianto," he continued. "I haven't said that enough, lately. But that's part of why I'm bringing it up. Whatever's been happening, it changed me, it made me — well, I'm not exactly sure what it changed, but we can figure that out later. What happened back in 1941 — it wasn't what you think. There's this thing I can do, to keep the important parts of my mind from being invaded, the kind of stuff they tried to teach at London, but much more advanced. I had to —"

"Oi, Harkness, quit molesting the Teaboy! We need some coffee over here," Owen said as he pushed the office door open.

"Just a few —"

"It's fine, Jack," Ianto interrupted. "You can tell me tonight, yeah? I have something to tell you, too." He gave Jack the shy smile Jack loved so much. "Over dinner, maybe?"

"Ianto Jones, are you asking me —"

"Save it," Owen interjected. "Coffee, now! Please," he added as an afterthought. He paused. "And tell Gwen to get off her high horse while you're at it, Jack. She thinks she single-handedly brought you back, you know. Even if we all know it was really Ianto." He turned and left the office.

"I'd better go," Ianto said regretfully. "Our machine's still broken from when we opened the Rift, so I'll go to that place on the Plass."

"Take Owen and Tosh with you," Jack said in a tone that brooked no argument. "Clearly, I need to have a talk with Gwen about how she handled things, if _Owen's_ mentioning it. She needs to know that she was out of line, doing what she did. You and I are together, and she needs to know it and believe it. I was wrong to want to hide it."

Ianto smiled again, softer, happier. "Thanks. I might not be ready for my family or the general public to know, but here? Here it's necessary." He pecked Jack on the cheek and turned to go. "And Jack? Be prepared for a sleepless night. We have some catching up to do." He winked and went to gather the others.

Jack laughed delightedly before settling down at his desk and picking up a file, knowing Gwen would show up as soon as the others were out of the Hub. He didn't want to have to seek her out.


	44. Chapter 44: TYTNW: What Jack Left Behind

**Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was**

**Chapter 44: What Jack Left Behind**

A/N: This is the first chapter in my Year That Never Was arc. It's a long arc, and it will be dark - very dark. Spoilers for DW: Utopia, The Sound of Drums, and The Last Timelord. Jack is tortured for an entire year, and it's _bad. _But there's a silver lining. He will learn exactly what Ianto means to him, and, well, go back to Torchwood for Ianto. (I'm getting ahead of myself.)

I'll give warnings for each chapter as they're needed. None for this chapter, though.

Enjoy and please read and review.

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Ianto knew more than he was telling. He knew that Jack left with the Doctor, and that he did it willingly. Tosh's CCTV footage alone told them that. But no one really understood what the Doctor was, and Ianto planned on keeping it that way. Jack had methodically removed any mention of the Doctor from the Archives, digital and physical, just like information about himself, which meant he didn't want the team to know. Ianto planned on respecting that unspoken wish. It was his penance for turning on Jack when Abbadon rose.

_I should have been stronger, _Ianto thought dejectedly as he listlessly walked through the corridors of the Hub. _I should have been able to resist the psychic tampering! And now he's gone, and I can never make it up to him. God, how useless am I? He trusted me, and I couldn't keep Bilis' influence out of my head. _

Ianto had been trained at Torchwood London where the Doctor was Torchwood's Enemy Number One. He had to memorize and be able to recite the Torchwood Charter at a moment's notice. He had to be able to identify the Doctor and name the list of how to identify him, should he ever appear.

.

*Blue police box (the TARDIS, his spaceship/time machine)

*Sonic Screwdriver (didn't look like any screwdriver Ianto had ever seen)

*Out of period dress (sometimes, not always; the most recent regeneration wore a brown suit and trainers)

*Companion(s) — usually young and female; (occasionally male — like Jack Harkness)

*Two hearts (wasn't one enough?)

*Able to regenerate if killed (new body, new face, new personality)

.

Ianto listened in silence as the others debated where Jack went. Gwen kept insisting that he was taken, though the video was clear that he went willingly. They joy on his face was unmistakable. Tosh looked sad, saying that he never would have left if they'd just trusted him more. Owen had decided that Jack would never be back, and that they should simply move on. He began giving orders.

"Tosh, see if you can identify that sound on the feed. It's unusual, so that might give us a clue. Gwen, contact those air traffic people, see if there was a blip or whatever on their monitors."

"So who's made you the boss, now?" Gwen demanded, before Owen could give Ianto something to do.

"I did, that's who. Seniority says I'm in charge because Tosh doesn't want it. Right Tosh?"

"Right," she agreed quietly.

"But Jack fired you! You turned on him! You shot him!" Gwen persisted.

"We all turned on him," Owen said. "Don't claim innocence here. You led the revolt."

"That's such bullshit!"

Ianto slipped off to hide in the Archives. Hours later, when he was sure the others had gone home for the night, he returned to the main level. He gathered the coffee mugs and rubbish, allowing himself the mundane activities to try to calm himself before he undertook the next part of his plan.

_If Jack's gone,_ Ianto reasoned, _he needs someone to make sure things continue to run smoothly. And between all of us, it has to be me. None of the others has a clue of even half of the stuff he handles on a daily basis, not the way I do. I might not know all of it, but I know a hell of a lot more than them. And, _he continued, _I've met the Queen with him. I've spoken to Saxon, to Frobisher, to the Home Office and MI5 and UNIT. I know the codes to the Secure Archives and can access his personal area under his office. There has to be something under there that will help. _

Reluctantly, Ianto walked into Jack's office and sat down on Jack's chair. He swiveled around a few times, taking a look at the office from Jack's perspective. _From here it looks so much nicer. I can see all three workstations. I can see the autopsy bay, and the CCTV monitors. If I stand up, I can see into the interrogation room. _

_If I were Jack, where would I have put a note or clue for me to find? _Busily, Ianto began searching. First he opened the top left drawer of Jack's desk, where the lube was kept, knowing Jack would expect him to look there. Nothing but lube, and a jump drive with, Ianto assumed, porn, or, he hoped not but wouldn't rule out, CCTV footage of them shagging around the Hub. He pocketed it anyway, to look it over later, in case there was a message for him. The other drawers were similarly disappointing. He stood and walked over the the Secure Archives and punched in the code. He emptied it, finding boxes and files and artifacts he'd never seen before. Carefully, he replaced them in the proper order.

Ianto sat in Jack's chair again and thought for a minute, running his fingers through his hair. A corner of a yellow sticky note poked out from under Jack's desk blotter, and Ianto glared at it. _God, he can't even hide things appropriately? _Ianto groused. He sighed and took everything off the blotter so he could lift it to put the sticky note back underneath it. He gasped.

Under the blotter, Jack had a veritable collection of sticky notes, placed in small clusters. The lone pink sticky in the center group stood out, drawing Ianto's eyes. On it was a single word. Ianto's safeword for when they did kinkier play in (and out of) the bedroom. His eyes widened as he examined the surrounding notes.

"_Ianto's birthday: 8/19/83"_

"_Hates ice cream"_

"_Sister: Rhiannon, bro-in-law: Johnny, niece & nephew: Mica & David, all Davies"  
_(Birthdays, address, phones, all there and accurate. His parents' names and dates of death, too.)

"_Girlfriend: Lisa Hallet, deceased. Twice." _

Ianto felt tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. Jack had noted both the dates of the Battle of Canary Wharf _and_ the day the Cyberwoman was killed. He lifted the sticky to see the one under it.

"_My fault he's in so much pain." _

Tears overflowed Ianto's eyes as he realized Jack still felt guilty for that death. He thought they had forgiven each other months ago, and was suddenly very sad that he hadn't made sure Jack knew that he actually had forgiven him, that he'd realized that Lisa really died at the Battle, that he didn't blame Jack for destroying the Cyberwoman. He brushed away the tears and looked at some of the other notes.

"_Alice Carter, son Stephen." _Birthdays, an address, and a pair of phone numbers were on the sticky next to it. Ianto wondered for a moment who she was. From her birthday, she was six years older than Ianto himself. _A former lover? _he wondered. Steven was born in 2000, old enough to have been conceived when Jack was still sleeping around, before he became leader of Torchwood. _Does he have a child? Is that who he sends money to every month from the account at Sainsbury Bank?_

Sighing, he glanced around, noting names, dates and addresses and the occasional doodle. Suddenly, his own name popped out at him from a cluster of security codes, some of which he knew, some of which he'd never seen before and didn't know what they were for.

"_Ianto: File 42." _

***TW TW TW***

It took Ianto the rest of the night (what little there was left of it) to find Jack's secret file cabinet in the third room off the small hallway between Jack's bathroom and library. It took him another hour to remember the lock-opening alien device to get the damned thing open. He ignored all the interesting file names and plucked "File 42" out of the cabinet and settled down on Jack's favorite chair in the library to read it. A security card fell out into his hand.

_Ianto—_

_If you're reading this, it means I've left with the Doctor. I hope I got to say goodbye. Knowing him, though, that might not be the case. If there's not a big problem to fix, he tends to come and go pretty quickly. I need answers from him. I think you know that by now. _

_I would like you to take over Torchwood in my absence. I never appointed an official Second after Suzie died, but I always intended for it to be you. Before you protest, I know you don't want it. My second choice would be Owen, but with him out of commission after jumping in the Weevil cage, my options are limited to you or Gwen. Tosh wouldn't want it, and unlike you, wouldn't be able to do it. She's strong, but she likes having someone else in charge. _

_I'll leave the decision to you. In File 2, there are three letters, naming you, Owen or Gwen my second-in-command. Choose the one you want the team to see. If you choose one of the others to lead, however, I need you to keep doing the behind-the-scenes things you do so well to keep us running. I will depend on you to do what must be done, to smooth feathers, to look after Flat Holm, to be the silent power behind whoever you choose to be the front. _

_In your hand is a swipe card. It will destroy the Hub, if necessary. Swipe it through *any* of the readers and input the proper code and the Hub will self-destruct. No backing out, no way to reverse it. Two minutes to evacuate. No one knows that this possibility exists. Yvonne didn't know, the Queen doesn't know. But I trust you with this, because if the future of the human race is at stake, I trust you to do what's necessary to keep the planet safe. We have too many deadly alien devices sitting around in the Archives. _

_Ianto, I'm giving you a heavy responsibility with this card, with this information. I know you will make me proud to have trusted you. After all that we've been through together, I know you will never betray that trust again. _

_I will come back. _

_Jack_

Ianto drew in a sharp breath that came out as a sob. He dropped the letter and key card and curled in on himself. _I don't deserve his trust,_ he thought. _I betrayed him again. I turned on him. I helped them open the Rift. God, he must have written this that night while I was with Tosh and Owen was still in the hospital. The day before out second dinner-that's-not-a-date. Didn't have time to write a new one. _

_Fuck. _

_Will he even want to come back now, after what I've done? After what we've all done? _

***TW TW TW***

The phone woke Ianto at quarter of six in the morning. He shoved himself upright and climbed the ladder out of Jack's bunker to grab the handset.

"Captain Harkness' office, Jones speaking," he said after clearing his throat.

_"We know the Captain is missing,"_ a voice hissed. _"The entire team must go to the Himalayas to find him and finish the business with Abaddon. Details have been emailed."_ The line went dead.

Ianto swore as he pulled up the email and looked at the specifications. He began calling the others in, not caring about the early hour.

_This looks like a trap,_ Ianto thought. "But if we can find Jack…"


	45. Chapter 45: TYTNW: Power Play

**Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was**

**Chapter 45: Power Play**

A/N: Warnings for implied violence. Nothing major.

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_IAANTOOOO! _

Jack's voice slammed into Ianto's head, making him double over in pain. He felt like he was going to vomit. Ianto gasped at the volume of Jack's mental shout, images crowding into his brain from Jack along with his voice. He closed his eyes and tuned out everyone else around him, tried desperately to get himself under control, thought of the candle flame. The conference room blurred along the edges.

"You OK, mate?" Owen asked. Ianto didn't even notice him speaking.

_IANTO! He read my mind! They know who you are! They're coming for you! You have fifteen minutes. Evacuate the Hub. Code 42! CODE 42! _

"Jack…" Ianto moaned, clutching his head.

_I love you — _Jack's voice disintegrated into a scream of pain. _They're going to destroy the planet! Protect Alice and Stephen! I love you, _he whispered again. _I love — _

"Ianto, pet, are you OK?" Gwen asked, putting a hand on his arm. "You look pale."

Reality snapped back into place. "We have to evacuate," Ianto declared. He looked up and met each of their eyes one at a time as he snapped out orders. "Gwen, get everything you can carry from the Armory. Concentrate on the big guns. Then pull the SUV up to the Invisible Lift. Owen —"

"What's going on?" Gwen interrupted. "I thought we were getting ready to go to the Himalayas?"

"For once in your life, do as you're told," Ianto shouted, standing. "Owen, get as many medical supplies as you can. We're going on the run, and I don't know when we'll have time to replenish. Tosh, take your laptop and whatever other tech you can carry. Both of you, meet me at the Lift." He looked at them and the serious expressions on their faces. He clicked his stopwatch before shoving it back in his pocket. "We have ten minutes. Move!"

"But, Ianto—" Gwen tried to get his attention again.

Ianto pulled out his gun and pointed it directly at her face. "If you question me one more time, Gwen Elizabeth Cooper, you will _not_ survive, do you understand? I will kill you myself. Jack just gave me orders to destroy the Hub because there is an alien threat that will systematically eradicate all life on Earth, and they are on their way here to start with us. Now move!"

Everyone jumped into action. Ianto re-holstered his gun and calmly walked to Jack's office, where he descended the ladder to Jack's bunker. He opened the secret door to Jack's private area and gathered as many of the files as he could shove into a backpack, including the one listing him as the head of Torchwood and Jack's notes on the Doctor. Without thinking, he shoved one of Jacks' shirts from the laundry basket into a side pocket of the backpack.

_God, those images, _Ianto thought as he moved. _Jack's been through so much in such a short amount of time. How can he manage? The torture — _

The full backpack in his hand, he stopped in Jack's office to go through the Secure Archives and the Super Secure Archives for anything that might be useful, beginning to fill a second bag. He pressed his comms.

"Owen, how're you doing?"

"_I've got six months of meds we might need, as well as the tissue and bone regenerators and the Bekaran scanner. I'm gathering more. How much time do we have left?" _

"Seven minutes," Ianto answered. "Tosh? Report."

"_Downloading as much as I can from Mainframe onto my laptop. She says it'll take three more minutes. I'm gathering as much as I can carry." _

"Good. Gwen?"

"_In the garage. I'm putting canned food and thermal blankets in the boot. Is that OK?" _

"Yes, Gwen, good thinking. Load your stuff onto the Lift, people, we'll have to get it all and ourselves into the SUV, then it'll be a mad dash. Owen, I'll want you driving."

"_Will do, boss." _

"_Ianto, do we have time to get anything from the Archives?" _Tosh asked. "_There's this thing —" _

"No. Concentrate on what you can carry that's easy to get to. I'm emptying the Secure Archives of as much as possible."

"_I told you he had the code for that," _Owen muttered. "_Tosh, you owe me ten quid." _

"_Later, Owen!" _

"_Ianto, what about Rhys?" _Gwen asked suddenly.

"If he can make it to the water tower in three minutes, he can come with us. Otherwise, we'll have to go without him," Ianto decided. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to include Gwen's fiance, but he had a sudden instinct that it would be helpful. "He can take over my duties, since I'll be taking Jack's," Ianto added.

"_He made you the boss for real, then?" _Owen asked.

"I'll show you the official letter when we're safe."

"_I don't care. I don't want it." _

"Four minutes, people," Ianto said, glancing at his stopwatch. He opened Jack's desk drawer and took the tin box that held Jack's pictures, the only memories he allowed himself of past lovers. He wondered briefly if there was a picture of himself in there. That Jack hadn't taken the tin when the Doctor came meant something, Ianto knew, but he wasn't able to dwell on that thought right then. "Tosh?"

"_Ianto?" _

"What's Mainframe saying?"

"_Twenty seconds. Then I'll get to the Lift." _

"_I'm outside," _Gwen reported. "_SUV's open, ready to be filled. I'm making room, but I'm not sure how much we'll be able to fit, especially with Rhys coming. He's across the Plass now. I can see him coming." _

"Good," Ianto said, closing the safe and shouldering his bags. "Owen?"

"_Taking the first load up," _Owen reported. Ianto left Jack's office to see Owen on the Lift, a collection of bags and their usual tool kits at his feet. Tosh waited below with more stuff.

"I have three laptops," she said as Ianto joined her. "Seven PDAs and three bags of other stuff." She took his bags from him. "What else do you think we need?"

"This is all we have time for. Once you're up there, load the SUV and get ready to run. I'm going to set things in motion here, then jump in. Owen, expect to drive as fast and as far as you can. Jack didn't tell me what the blast radius will be."

"_Blast radius? What the fuck?" _

"Destroying the Hub, remember? Be ready."

"_Fuck me. This is real, isn't it?" _

"Very real," Ianto said softly, massaging his temples. He helped Tosh load the Lift and sent her up, then let Myfanwy out, sending her into the open air and sunlight. Two minutes later, after Tosh gave him the all-clear that the SUV was loaded and all of them were inside waiting for him, Ianto stood at the bottom of the Lift, looking around the Hub for the last time. "Goodbye," he whispered.

Ianto swiped the security card Jack left for him and punched in the 24-digit code. He stepped onto the Lift and activated it.

"_Torchwood Self-Destruct in two minutes," _the robotic female voice of Mainframe declared. "_No further warning will be given. Good luck, Captain Harkness. It has been an honor to serve you." _

Ianto was slamming the door to the SUV seconds after she finished speaking, shouting at Owen to _drive, drive!_

***TW TW TW***

Ianto took a deep breath and looked out over the water of the Bristol Channel. He walked slowly away from the main base, aware that the others were watching him. He pulled out the phone Tosh modified to be able to get a signal on the island and dialed the number he memorized a few short days ago when searching through Jack's files. Three rings later the call connected.

"Alice Carter, my name is Ianto Jones. I'm from —"

"Torchwood," she interrupted. "Dad's mentioned you."

"He — Jack — Jack's mentioned me?" Ianto stuttered.

"He hasn't had a serious lover since my mother left him. Of course he mentioned you. Can't get him to shut up about you, actually."

"You're his daughter?" Ianto asked, feeling very out of his depth. He'd assumed that Alice was an ex-lover of Jack's. "I'm sorry. All he said was to protect you and Steven. I didn't know who you were."

"He didn't tell you about me?" She sighed on the other end of the phone. "No, I suppose he wouldn't. That man loves his secrets. I'm his daughter. What's this about protection? I can handle myself. I've told him that many times. I don't want or need his protection."

"There's an alien threat —"

"Isn't there always?" she muttered.

"I don't have any details, but he told me to abandon the Hub and keep you safe."

"I'm not in Cardiff."

"I know. We can come get you."

"You have a safe house in mind? I can meet you there, if it's halfway."

"Actually, can you come to Flat Holm Island? In the Bristol Channel? We'll be safe there while we regroup. If you don't have access to a boat, I can come get you."

"It's that bad?"

"Yes." Ianto shuddered and drew his jacket tighter around him. He wished he had a coat or sweater in the island wind.

"And he's not the one calling because…?"

"He's been taken prisoner. I'm the acting director of Torchwood until he returns."

"Give me a day. Send me the location of your boat and I'll meet you there."

***TW TW TW***

"Alice?"

"Ianto."

Ianto took a moment to look at the woman standing in front of him. She had Jack's coloring. Dressed casually in jeans and a jumper, she looked like any mother he'd ever seen. She seemed tired. The boy beside her, Stephen, had blond hair and Jack's eyes. She and Ianto shook hands politely.

"Stephen," Alice said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "This is Ianto Jones. He's Uncle Jack's partner. Say hello."

Ianto suppressed the surprise that she would introduce him as Jack's 'partner' and got down on one knee in front of the child, extending his hand. Stephen took it hesitantly. And did he hear correctly that Jack was 'Uncle Jack' instead of 'grandpa?'

"Hullo," Stephen said softly. "Is Uncle Jack here?" he asked, looking around as if Jack would suddenly appear. Knowing Jack's flair for the dramatic, Ianto assumed that Jack had done that with Stephen at one point or another.

"No," Ianto answered with a sad smile and a brief glance at Alice. "Uncle Jack is working. He told me to tell you that he loves you and that he'll join us as soon as he can."

Stephen smiled and took his hand back.

"Do you like video games?" Ianto asked. "My niece and nephew, Mica and David, my sister's children, are on the island where we're going. They have a Playstation. You'll have some kids your age to play with. How does that sound?" Stephen smiled a bit more happily.

"Your sister?" Alice asked.

"She's a few years older than me. Had her kids early. Her name is Rhiannon, and her husband's Johnny. We brought them over last night."

"How old are you?" Alice suddenly demanded.

"Twenty-five," Ianto answered. He got back to his feet and brushed off his knees, suddenly conscious of how filthy his suit was and the stubble gracing his chin. He looked over at the questions in her eyes. "I've been with Jack a little over a year. Before you ask, Torchwood brought us together."

"Yeah, it'll do that, won't it?" she grumbled to herself. "It brought Mom and Dad together."

"Mom? Are Mr. Ianto's sister's kids my cousins? Since he's Uncle Jack's partner?" Stephen asked, tugging on her hand. "I've always wanted cousins."

Alice and Ianto shared a look. "I suppose they are," she said softly. She patted Stephen's head. She turned back to Ianto, her voice suddenly serious. "I felt the blast yesterday. That was you?"

"I destroyed the Hub," Ianto explained, taking her suitcase. "The only reason our SUV didn't roll over is because there were six of us inside it at the time, we were still so close to the explosion. You've heard about Saxon —"

"We were watching it on TV," she interrupted. "Have you heard from Jack since you called me?"

Ianto shook his head. "No. It seems like Saxon is the problem, though. The aliens answer to him. And Jack's mixed up in all of it."

"That's like him," Alice muttered. She shouldered her backpack. "Well, let's go."

Behind them, two floating metal balls giggled and advanced on their target.


	46. Chapter 46: On the Valiant, Month 1

**Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was**

**Chapter 46: On the Valiant, Month 1**

A/N: Thank you everyone for the reviews for the last few chapters! I've been writing up a storm and have most of The Year That Never Was written, so I'm hoping to post reasonably quickly for a while.

On an aside: I finally watched Miracle Day. I didn't like it, though I respect the opinions of those who do. I felt that Jack was flat, and I disliked Rex immensely. (I spent an hour deconstructing my views on the series with my partner yesterday...PM me if you want more details, like why I dislike what they did to Jack's sexuality.) Needless to say, there will be no Miracle Day in my writings. *gets off soapbox*

**Warnings** for violence in this chapter.

And now...

.

.

.

Jack came back to life quietly. He rolled his head, looking around him, finding that he was still strung up (naked) by his wrists in the boiler room of the _Valiant_. For a change, his feet were six inches off the floor and he was alone. He took a deep breath of air and promptly choked on the stench.

_Disembowelment,_ Jack thought, looking at the puddle of blood and other bodily fluids underneath him. _Not the easiest death, but not the worst, by far. 58 deaths, in, I think, 27 days. That's got to be a record. Even Alice Guppy and Emily Holroyd didn't kill me this often, and they were sadistic cows. _

_All in all, though, Saxon's not the most creative when it comes to killing. Most of it's been pretty quick. I wonder when he'll start with the torture itself? And he hasn't done anything with drugs or psychological torture. Hmm, don't want to think too hard about that. Might give him ideas. _

_Goddess, after he read my mind that first time I couldn't stop throwing up, his head was so full of cruelty. He has a lot of ammunition to use against me, and it terrifies me to think of him going after Ianto and the rest of my team just to hurt me and the Doctor. He was just too powerful for my boxes to work. He read everything.  
_

Jack sighed. _I hope Ianto and the others are safe. I know he heard me when I shouted at him. I just hope he was able to find my files so he would know what to do, what I meant about Code 42. Can't let Saxon get to anything in the Hub. _

_And Alice and Stephen… God, I hope they're safe. I wonder if Ianto figured out who they are, if he managed to get in contact with her… if she believed him that she needs protection… _

Sounds distracted him as someone came in and hosed down the floor. Once that was finished, Tish Jones, Martha's sister, walked into the room with a tray of "food," escorted by a pair of guards. She was wearing the maid's outfit again. Jack summoned up his mask and flirted, first with her, then with the guards. Daniel, the younger of the men, punched him in the stomach for the effort. Jack decided that Daniel must be closeted and gay. Either that or more macho than the others. Raymond, the other guard, didn't even blink at the flirting, ignoring everything Jack said, as he usually did.

Tish started spoon feeding him the mush on her tray. He tried to pay attention as she spoke, but his mind drifted, still thinking about Ianto and Alice. Tish was talkative, at least when she was around him. She told stories, gossiped about everyone on the floating fortress, and kept him informed of whatever news she heard from the mainland. Most of it was inane and complete nonsense, but she made the effort to talk, so he tried to make the effort to listen, as much as he was able. At first, when he was newly aboard the ship, the guards listened closely to whatever they said, but after nearly a month, they didn't bother to pay attention any more and stood at the far end of the room talking and joking with each other.

"So, as I was saying, I heard from my cousin," Tish said, tapping his cheek with the spoon to get Jack's attention.

"Oh?" Jack asked, taking the next mouthful.

"Yes. Dafydd Jones. You remember him? From Newport."

Jack stilled. _Ianto? _he thought. _That's the alias he used once. He's from Newport. Does she have word from him? Please! _"How is your cousin?" he asked, his eyes suddenly more alert, though he kept his voice carefully bored and neutral.

"He's getting along. He lives out on the islands, you know."

Jack noted her eyes flickering to the guards briefly and decided he needed to play along more. "The islands? Really? I remember a time…" He talked about visits he'd had to several tropical islands and planets over the years, adding a lewd story to keep up his reputation because it was expected of him.

"He told me that he took in some chicks," Tish added. "He collects birds, after all."

"What kind of birds?"

"Oh, it's a strange collection. He has four, and now these two chicks who lost their father."

_Alice and Stephen? He has Alice and Stephen! Oh, my smart Ianto. And you're using Flat Holm as a base? That has to be what she means about being on the islands. Beautiful, smart, resourceful Ianto. Who are the birds, I wonder? If it's our team, there should only be three. Did he manage to get Gwen's old partner from the police? What was his name? Andy? _

"What kinds of birds does he keep?" Jack asked, thinking it would be a safe question to get him the information he wanted. He remembered a time when he and Ianto had compared their colleagues to birds after meeting Sebastian in that Italian restaurant.

Tish smiled slightly as she realized that he understood what she was talking about.

"The first he got was a sparrow," she said. _Tosh, _Jack supplied. "About a year later he got a cockatoo. It's very aggressive and angry a lot of the time, but seems to care for the others when Dafydd isn't looking." _Owen,_ Jack decided, _though I think we called him a kestrel_. "Most recently, a curious robin followed him home, and then its mate showed up, and he couldn't turn them away," Tish finished.

_Gwen and her boyfriend, _Jack thought with a hidden smile. _All of them are safe, with Alice and Stephen. Thank the Gods and Goddesses! _

"If he can keep all those birds from killing each other, he must be very good at what he does," Jack commented. "I bet he's cute, too," he added for good measure. "I'm always looking for a good man. Think you could set us up when all this is done?"

"I don't think that would work out so well. He's got a partner," Tish said with an exaggerated smirk, playing along. "Loves him very much, from what I hear."

"I'm sure his partner loves him, too," Jack whispered, lowering his head, suddenly overwhelmed and unable to hide it. _And I do love you, Ianto, _Jack thought. _I love you so much, and I never got to tell you… And that you would be willing to tell whoever's passing on this message… that you would be willing to let maybe dozens of people know, just so you could tell me… Goddess, I don't deserve you. But I'm so glad you chose me! _

Tish popped the last spoonful into his mouth. "Well, I'll see you next time," she said as cheerfully as she could, under the circumstances of being trapped on the _Valiant_ by a madman from another planet. She paused a few feet away from him. "He likes poems. My cousin. Maybe you know a good one for him?"

"I'll think of one for next time," Jack said, raising his head. "We could be pen pals. I could win him away from that partner of his." He winked.

Tish shook her head, laughing. "Whatever you say, Captain." She nodded to the guards and all three of them left.

Five minutes later Saxon arrived with a different pair of soldiers and a cart full of knives to begin the day's "amusement."

***TW TW TW***

Tish wasn't allowed to bring Jack food until he died, of starvation and/or dehydration. By the time Jack revived and Saxon allowed him to eat again, Jack was desperate to get a message to Ianto and had come up with something he hoped would sound innocuous enough while it gave Ianto a clear message from him.

"I have a poem for your cousin," Jack said as Tish fed him. "Tell him:

.

The phoenix will rise

from the ashes and fly again

when the stars align.

.

A tiger lays aside his stripes

to hide among the villagers

but never forgets the wilds.

.

Midnight is the time when

the words never spoken

become the always and forever."

.

Tish thanked him for the poem, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

_Will Ianto understand? _Jack wondered. _Will he come find me? Will he know I'm telling him I love him? _

When Saxon arrived that afternoon, he brought an audience of soldiers and invited them to test their aim, using Jack as a target. One refused, and he was thrown from the ship. No one refused after that.


	47. Chapter 47: On the Valiant, Month 2

**Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was**

**Chapter 47: On the Valiant, Month 2**

A/N: Warnings for violence/death in this chapter.

.

On the 50th day of his captivity, Jack came back to life gasping for air. He was sitting, tied and chained to a chair in front of a large projection screen. He remembered how his first visit to Torchwood started that way, chained to a chair. _Are they going to get out the electrodes? _he wondered. Saxon walked into the room with his wife, Lucy, and several guards. They all settled down with popcorn and beer, laughing. A doctor joined them and injected a drug of some kind into Jack's arm.

"You'll like this, freak," Saxon said to Jack. "We found one of your team. I thought you'd want to know what happened." He produced his laser screwdriver and pressed a button. The screen flickered to life.

Unable to move, Jack watched as a dozen Toclafane ripped Gwen and her boyfriend to pieces. He blinked, closing off his emotions, hiding his reaction as best as he could. The drugs made it difficult, and soon he was crying and screaming, as Saxon put the video on auto-repeat, showing the same scene over and over again. What few boxes in his head crumbled under the onslaught.

Saxon made Jack watch the video for three days straight, pumping him with drugs at regular intervals until he accidentally gave Jack too high of a dose and killed him.

***TW TW TW***

"_Sir? There's a Weevil in the hospital," Ianto reported, walking into Jack's office. "It's been hiding on the top floor for a few hours. Owen had them evacuate the floor and make it seem like a chemical spill, or something of the sort. He, Tosh and Suzie are already on site going after both a hitchhiker and a Plintinkin, so they requested backup. They've got the rest almost sorted, but the Weevil is a tricky one, they said." _

"_Goddess, as soon as I finish with a horrible phone meeting with a bureaucrat, it's a Weevil. Any chance of a coffee before I go?" _

_Ianto placed a travel mug of coffee on the desk and flared open Jack's greatcoat to help him into it. His hands lingered on Jack's shoulders as he smoothed down the wool. _

"_Shall I drive, sir? I'd hate to see one of my special blends go to waste as you try to drink and drive at the same time." _

_Jack grinned and picked up the coffee. "You just want to spend some time alone with me, don't you?" he teased, squeezing Ianto's arm. "It's been a while…" _

"_On the contrary —" _

_Jack cut him off with a rough kiss, pulling Ianto close. Ianto briefly melted against Jack, holding him tightly, before he remembered that they weren't shagging any more. He pushed Jack away. _

"_Inappropriate, sir," he said, wiping his mouth. Jack sighed audibly, disappointed. _

"_Still, can't keep a man from trying, can you? Once we're back, organize some lunch, all right? We'll have it in the conference room." _

"_As you wish, sir." _

_An hour later, Jack was rushing PC Gwen Cooper down the hospital corridors and leading her in a chase across Cardiff to the Plass. Ianto, still driving, let all four of them out and continued on to the garage while they took the Invisible Lift, further confusing the woman. _

***TW TW TW***

Jack came back from death to find himself face to face with one of Saxon's goons. One of the ones that delighted in torture. He grinned at Jack, an ugly sight. Saxon was sitting on a chair at the far wall, watching with a rapt look on his face.

"The Master says I get to have some fun with you today," he said, brandishing a whip. "I think we'll try something new. How many lashes will it take to kill you, freak?"

Jack shut his eyes and the man circled him. Leather whistled through the air and bit into Jack's back. He screamed.

***TW TW TW***

_Owen smiled grimly as he held up the purple organ. "This is the liver, I think, or as near as I can tell. It filters out the bad stuff. But, as you'll see, the creature's been poisoned." _

"_Poisoned?" Jack asked, circling the autopsy bay from above. _

"_Yeah, give us a minute," Owen replied, dropping the liver into a specimen jar and pulling off his gloves and apron. They retreated to the conference room where Tosh and Suzie joined them. _

"_OK, here's a picture of our creature," Owen said, pulling up an image on the projection screen. _

"_We can't keep calling it 'the creature' forever," Tosh protested. "Do we know what it's called?" _

"_It's a Troglodyte," Ianto said, appearing out of nowhere in the doorway with a tray full of coffee. "At least, that's what they called it in London," he added hesitantly. "After some kind of Dungeon Masters monster, or something, so I heard." He was slightly surprised that he had spoken, and clearly from their gobsmacked expressions, so were the others. Had he ever said anything beyond 'yes, sir' and 'no, sir' in one of the briefings? He distributed the mugs. _

"_It's Dungeons and Dragons," Owen muttered, snatching his coffee without a thank you. "Though I wouldn't expect someone like you to know that," he added acerbically. _

_Jack, at the head of the table, eyed Ianto speculatively. "Ianto, grab a coffee and take a seat," he ordered, patting the table to his left and the empty place. _

"_Sir?" Ianto asked. He clutched his tray to his chest nervously. He'd never actually been a part of one of their briefings before, just hovered in the background, the way he liked it, the way he planned it. _

"_You heard me." _

"_Yes, sir," Ianto said quietly. He left the conference room to make his own coffee. _

"_Jack? He's only been here three weeks!" Suzie exclaimed. "Why are you letting him join us? I thought you didn't trust him because he's from London!" _

"_I think it's time to see what Mr. Jones has to offer," Jack replied with a leer and a wink. He thought about their first kiss three days ago and the second one the night before when Ianto paused after helping Jack into his greatcoat. Ianto's lips were soft, pliant, and oh, so delicious, Jack mused as they all waited for him to return. A quick kiss, tentative, yet full of promise, Ianto had moved to kiss behind Jack's ear as Jack nuzzled his neck. Then Ianto was gone, disappearing out of Jack's office silently. _


	48. Chapter 48: On the Valiant, Month 3

**Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was**

**Chapter 48: On the Valiant, Month 3**

A/N: Warnings for violence, non-con and sex in this chapter. Jack is still captured, after all, and the Master is playing tricks on him.

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His eyes were brown instead of blue, Jack noted, though his jaw was the same. _Contacts, to keep up the disguise, probably,_ Jack thought. He stood at the far end of the room beside Saxon, his eyes flicking over the room, touching briefly on Jack before moving on. Gone were the gorgeous suits. Gone was the youthful look on his face that Jack loved so much. In their place was a black military uniform and a hardness of his features that shocked Jack. But it was still Ianto.

Jack knew better than to react, so he hung from his shackles and waited to see what would happen. He'd been killed 62 times since he first watched Gwen and Rhys die a month ago.

"And this is the freak," Saxon said, indicating Jack as the two men walked up to him. "Can't you tell how wrong he is just by looking at him?"

"I prefer the term 'monster,' sir," Ianto replied softly, his accent heavy in Jack's ears.

"You understand, Mr. Jones, that I need you to prove your loyalty," Saxon said.

"If I may, sir?" Ianto asked. Jack met his eyes. A wave of _hateangerloathing_ washed over him, coating his mind and heart. Jack shuddered. He couldn't help himself. Underneath it, a very small piece of _sorrowguiltshame _flowed, almost impossible to feel. Jack lowered his eyes, then looked up again, giving his consent to Ianto to do what he must.

Saxon smiled. "That's a lot of hate you feel for him," he commented, not noticing the interplay between Ianto and Jack. "Go ahead."

Without hesitating, Ianto drew his gun and shot Jack between the eyes, killing him instantly. When Jack revived, Ianto shot him through the heart. Jack revived again. Ianto's eyes narrowed in speculation as he shot Jack in the stomach.

"My, my," Saxon said, putting a hand on Ianto's arm to lower his gun. "You're an enthusiastic one, aren't you?"

"He deserves a life of pain for what he did," Ianto answered, holstering his gun. "He murdered my fiance."

Jack's eyes bored into Ianto's. _Fiance? You never told me you were engaged! _Jack screamed inside his head as he tried to understand Ianto's game. _Murder? You forgave me for that. You've not called it murder in so long… _

"He raped me. He's more of a monster than Yvonne Hartman was," Ianto continued.

_Rape? How many times have you told me you wanted what we've done? How many times have I checked in with you about it? How many times have you reassured me you liked it? _Jack felt his composure crumbling.

_How can Ianto say these things, even if it's a way to get Saxon to trust him? He knows what hearing this will do to me! _

"Why don't we talk about it in a more comfortable location?" Saxon proposed, putting a hand on Ianto's shoulder and leading him away.

Jack bled out alone, dying with tears on his cheeks.

***TW TW TW***

The torture got worse. Now, Ianto was there in the room watching it all with an impassive look on his face. Occasionally, Jack thought he saw a glimmer of excitement at the more creative and painful things that Saxon did to Jack. Thirty days after Ianto first appeared, Jack's legs were broken in three places and he was dragged into a small cell with a metal table and two chairs. The guards threw him into a chair, ignoring his shout of pain as his legs gave out as they ignored every other scream of his.

Ianto arrived ten minutes later.

"God, you _are_ a monster, aren't you?" Ianto asked as he walked into the room, the sneer crystal clear in his voice. He manhandled Jack to his feet and shoved him chest-first against the table. Jack's hands, still shackled in front of him, bit into the edge of the table. He worried that his wrists would crack from the strain of supporting his body weight on the sharp corner of the table. Worse yet, his mind supplied, if Ianto did this wrong, his wrists might snap off, taking his hands with them. Reattaching limbs was a bitch, as Jack knew from prior experience. It was almost better to re-grow them, if he had the time.

"Healed already? I know why the Master hates you so much. He'll never be rid of you."

Jack remained silent as Ianto ran his hands over his back. The touch seemed possessive, angry, cruel. He'd never once touched Jack like that before. He'd been possessive and angry at times, both separately and together, but never cruel.

Something had changed Ianto.

He leaned over Jack, pressing Jack into the table, his groin flush against Jack's ass. Jack's wrists protested, but he bit his lip against the pain. _This is why we always tie our hands __behind_ _us when we play, _Jack thought angrily. _Ianto's never this deliberately negligent. Is it because he's trying to blend in here? Fuck, but he's good at it. Never thought he was quite such a good actor, even after what he pulled to get me to trust him with a Cyberman in the basement. I thought he cared about me too much to do this. _

"I've been a good boy," Ianto continued conversationally, his mouth hovering by Jack's ear. "The Master says I can have a little treat. Know what I asked for?"

Jack shook his head, refusing to speak until he knew exactly what was going on. _His words are reminiscent of what that bastard with the whip said a few weeks ago. _

"Fifteen minutes alone with you," Ianto informed him. "He's watching the whole thing on video, of course. You don't get something for nothing anymore, after all, not in this world." Ianto squeezed Jack's ass hard enough to leave a bruise, the bulge of his erection hard and demanding through his trousers. "So, this is how it's going to go: I'm going to fuck you over this table, and you're going to tell me what I want to hear. How's that sound?"

"Ianto —" Jack whispered, forcing the name out between dry lips, from lungs that suddenly had no oxygen. _Goddess, help him. Help me, _Jack prayed. _Help us get through this in one piece. _

"I want the codes for the Torchwood servers," Ianto demanded, freeing his cock. Then, without warning, without preparation, without lube of any kind, he plunged into Jack.

Jack screamed at the sudden pain, trying to twist away. "Red! Red!" he shouted, hoping Ianto would listen, fearing he wouldn't, or wouldn't feel he was able to, with the audience.

"You think this is some kind of game?" Ianto snarled. He pushed Jack down into the table more forcefully as he continued thrusting. Jack froze.

_He's wearing a wedding band, _Jack thought, the sensation of metal against his shoulder sending clarity through his mind like a sudden plunge into icy water. _This can't be Ianto. No matter how angry he's been, no matter how rough we've been, he's never hurt me like this. He always prepares me, at least a little bit. And his cock's too small. _

_Brown eyes, not contacts. And the accent's slightly off. Still Welsh, but not quite right. More Cardiff than Newport. _

_Why didn't I realize it before that this isn't him? He'd never ask for the server codes. He has them already! _

_Shit, Saxon must've been drugging my food so I wouldn't realize. He's better than I thought. _

Closing his eyes, Jack let out a breath and tried to endure the pain as this impostor growled at him and pretended to be the man he loved.

The next day, when Jack made it clear to Saxon that he was aware that the man wasn't Ianto, the man was shot in front of Jack and the body left on the floor in front of him.


	49. Chapter 49: On the Valiant, Month 4

**Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was**

**Chapter 49: On the Valiant, Month 4**

A/N:Thank you everyone for all the reviews and follows! I'm so happy people are enjoying my story. We've still got some darkness to get through this horrible year of Jack's, but light is on the way. Stay tuned.

Warnings for violence, sex and suicide in this chapter.

.

"I thought of another poem for your cousin," Jack mentioned to Tish when she came to feed him. "It's Emily Dickinson. 'Because I could not stop for Death,/ He kindly stopped for me;/ The carriage held but just ourselves/ And Immortality.' I thought it would inspire him."

Tish looked at him sharply. "Are you sure that's the poem you want him to hear?"

"Definitely," Jack replied. "I can't wait to hear what he'll come up with in response." _And what he says will tell me if it's really him. I can't fall for another impostor. I can't risk the messages being intercepted. I can't risk that Tish is compromised. _

***TW TW TW***

Jack allowed himself one memory a day to keep him going. He thought of his life, his team, other Torchwood people, his loves and losses, defeats and victories. Most often he remembered Ianto.

***TW TW TW***

_Ianto sat in his Archivist's office, going over the mountain of paperwork Jack and the others left for him. His comm clicked in his ear. _

"_Ianto?" _

"_Yes, sir?" _

"_What are you wearing?" _

"_Jack!" Ianto exclaimed, his cheeks reddening. _

"_I think I would know if you were wearing me," Jack pointed out with a chuckle. "So, I repeat. What are you wearing?" _

"_You do realize it's the middle of the workday?" Ianto asked, his lips twitching slightly. "And this is potentially an open comm line?" _

"_Don't be such a spoilsport! The others are all busy. Gwen's reading a magazine, Owen's doing an autopsy, and Tosh is coding something complicated. None of them have their comms in." _

"_Fine. I'm wearing a suit." _

"_That doesn't tell me anything. Which one?" _

"_The same one I was wearing twenty minutes ago when I brought you your coffee, sir," Ianto said with a chuckle of his own. _

_The comms clicked again. "We're on a private line now," Jack informed him. "Which suit?" _

"_The black Mark & Spencer's with the charcoal pinstripe," Ianto said softly, setting his pen down and leaning back in his chair. "Did you change the CCTV feed so Tosh won't be able to see anything?" _

"_Ah, the cute suit! I love that one." Ianto heard typing. "Cameras are clear," Jack said with a throaty chuckle. "What else are you wearing?" _

"_A red shirt with a red and black striped tie." _

"_Scarlet, Ianto, the shirt is scarlet." _

"_A scarlet shirt, then. Happy now?" _

"_Almost. Turn on Camera 13." _

_With an exaggerated sigh, Ianto kicked off from his desk and rolled across the small room to his computer. Calling up the camera feed, he stifled a groan. On screen, Ianto saw a close-up of Jack's trouser-clad crotch, one of Jack's hands casually resting on his thigh. Thankfully, Jack hadn't opened his fly yet. In his ear, Jack laughed. _

"_Well?" _

"_You're going to be the death of me, Jack," Ianto said. _

"_Turn on your webcam," Jack ordered. "But leave it on your face." _

_Ianto reached forward to turn on the small portable camera. On screen, a small window opened with an image of Ianto's face, indicating what Jack was seeing. _

"_Thank you," Jack murmured. Ianto heard the satisfied smile in his voice. "Lean back and let me see more of you." Ianto complied, spreading his legs wide. He stroked his tie flat against his chest. On screen, the tiny image widened to show all of Ianto's head and shoulders. _

"_What, no more questions?" Ianto teased. He reached down and undid his belt as quietly as he could. "You don't want to know what kind of underwear I'm wearing?" _

"_I know what kind of underwear you're wearing," Jack answered promptly. "You always wear the red silk boxers with that shirt." _

"_Do I?" Ianto undid the button of his trousers, then slipped down the zipper. "I'll have to check." _

"_You do that," Jack encouraged, his own hands working to undo his fly. _

"_I bet you're going commando today," Ianto guessed. "Show me." Jack revealed that Ianto guessed correctly, holding himself in one large hand. "Touch yourself," Ianto added, licking his lips as Jack moved to do as he said. "Slowly. I want to see everything." _

"_Was I right?" Jack whispered. "I bet you're hard already. Peeking through the silk. Starting to throb for me." _

_Ianto bit his lip as his hands moved of their own accord. He locked his eyes onto the screen in front of him. "Jack." _

"_Red really __is_ _your color," Jack said, his other hand appearing on-screen briefly to deposit a small dollop of lube onto his cock. "It makes your eyes so bright. It makes your cock so beautiful." _

"_Don't think I've ever heard someone describe a cock as 'beautiful' before." _

"_It is. Look at it. So big. So powerful. So hard, sliding in and out of your hand like that. Are you thinking of me as you touch yourself like that?" _

"_Of course I am! I'm having phone sex with you right now!" _

"_No, I mean, are you thinking of being inside me? Pretending your fist is my —" _

_Ianto gasped, a surge of pleasure making his motions jerky. He moaned softly. "You're watching more than my face, aren't you?" he finally realized. His eyes closed, imagining Jack's heat surrounding him. _

"_Open your eyes, Ianto. I want to see you come, thinking of me." Jack's ragged breathing in his ear turned Ianto on even more. _

"_Jack—" Ianto pleaded. He forced his eyes open to see Jack's cock jumping, straining against his hands. _

"_Come for me, Ianto," Jack urged. "Come for me right now!" _

"_Fuck!" Ianto exploded, cum washing over his fist, dribbling down to the floor. Blinking slowly as he came down from the high of his orgasm, he noticed that the computer screen was a gray mess. Jack had projected, it seemed, blocking his camera's feed. He panted for a moment, struggling to catch his breath. "Jack?" he asked softly. _

"_Be right there," Jack gasped. On the comms he heard the shuffle of Jack's clothing being rearranged, the door to Jack's office opening and closing. _

_Two minutes later Jack appeared around the doorway, a huge smile on his face. He strode over to Ianto and straddled his lap, threatening the structural integrity of the chair. They kissed hungrily. _

"_Got the energy for another round?" Ianto asked, his fingers carding through Jack's hair, spreading cum through it in honor of the first time they jerked each other off and his discovery that having cum in his hair was one of Jack's many kinks. Jack moaned loudly. _

"_For you, always," Jack murmured with the genuine smile Ianto loved so much. _

***TW TW TW****

When Jack revived from his 303rd death, he found himself lying on a hospital bed with a familiar face looking down at him.

"Owen?" he croaked.

"Yeah, it's me. Got yourself in quite the bind here, don't you, Harkness?" Owen replied. He sounded defeated.

"I'll survive," Jack muttered. "How are you doing? Any word from the others?"

"Gwen's dead. So is her boyfriend. Toclafane got them. Tosh is missing." Jack nodded, thinking. Owen remained silent.

"Ianto?" Jack finally asked.

"You don't want to know."

"Tell me," Jack demanded.

"Jack—"

"Tell me!" Jack shouted, trying to sit up. The restraints on his wrists, ankles and across his middle held him in place.

"He killed himself," Owen whispered.

"What? Ianto wouldn't —"

"He did, OK? Shot himself when he got that stupid poem from Suzie you sent him. He thought it meant you'd given up."

Jack felt his heart splinter at Owen's words. "No," he breathed. "No! No, he couldn't have! He didn't! Owen, tell me he didn't!"

"Sorry, mate. Saw it myself. Felt you needed to know. That's why I'm here."

"No," Jack repeated, almost inaudibly. "No, it's not true. It can't be true."

"Believe it, Jack. I watched him do it. And now, you're going to watch me do it."

Jack's eyes flew open at Owen's words. "What?"

"The Master only let me see you so I could give you the news. Goodbye, Jack." Owen stood and held a gun to his own head.

The gunshot deafened Jack. His mind numb, he didn't even notice as Owen's body was removed and Saxon returned with new torture implements.

***TW TW TW***

Jack lost track of time, of emotions, of anything and everything. A small part of his mind cataloged the deaths, the kinds of torture, the pain, but he didn't dwell on it. He was too numb from Owen's news and suicide. He let Saxon do whatever he wanted, disappearing into his mind when the pain got to be too much. He heard his own screams as if from a distance. He watched his body bleed from somewhere around the ceiling. He no longer flirted with Tish or the guards. He no longer listened to her chatter. He no longer cried, because there was nothing left important enough to cry about. Ianto was gone. Gwen was gone. Owen was gone. Tosh was gone. The Doctor was powerless, and Ianto was gone. Ianto was _gone. _

Jack started begging for death, just to feel the darkness for a few short moments, and the Master was happy to oblige.


	50. Chapter 50: On the Valiant, Months 5-7

**Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was**

**Chapter 50: On the Valiant, Months 5-7**

A/N:Thank you to everyone who's still reading! For those who worry about the violence and/or Jack's state of mind, the Year will end and time will revert to where it was, just like in Dr. Who. When we get to that point, the chapter title is probably something like "Time Reverts" or "Back to Normal" or something like that, so you can watch the chapter titles and pick up the story then. For those who've asked me to PM them when we get there, I'll do my best to remember!

Warnings for violence and sex in this chapter. This is the halfway point for The Year That Never Was. Stick around and you'll see how I turn things a little AU in season 2.

.

_Twelve weeks they'd been shagging. Twelve weeks, and Ianto proved to be an enthusiastic and energetic partner, willing to try just about everything Jack suggested at least once. He even had some suggestions of his own, once the initial embarrassment of talking about sex wore off. He met Jack's desires with a passion that surprised and delighted them both. The only thing he refused was to do anything in public. No touching between them that was more than he would have done before they started sleeping together. No hand-holding. No kissing. No hugging. Nothing. Nothing beyond the flirting they'd always done when around the Hub._

_Jack held in his disappointment, because even then, with things so new, he wanted to shout the news that they were together from the rooftops, he was so happy. It had been ten years since he'd had a lover for longer than a month, and they were closing in on three. Jack caught himself grinning foolishly every so often, prompting the others to comment on his "conquests." Neither he nor Ianto dissuaded them from their belief that he was out on the pull every other night. _

_Tonight, they'd been interrupted in the middle of a shag by a Weevil sighting. Ianto volunteered to go with Jack, and as soon as the Weevil was tagged and returned to the sewers, they found themselves in the SUV starting where they'd left off an hour earlier. A late-night runner happened by, and peered in the steamy windows, much to Ianto's mortification, and Jack was sure the night would be over. They got dressed and went to a pub for a drink and a bit of food. _

_A number of drinks later, and Ianto smiled in that way Jack that had come to associate with mischief. He dragged Jack across the Plass in the direction of the Invisible Lift, his hand wrapped securely around Jack's. They staggered to a bench and sat. It seemed more like a controlled collapse, but Jack didn't care. Ianto was holding his hand in public, and he was on Cloud 9. _

"_Want to know a secret?" Ianto asked, his hand still clutching Jack's, his voice a loud, slurred whisper. _

"_Sure," Jack answered, humoring him. He'd never seen Ianto drunk before. _

"_I've never kissed a bloke in public before." _

_Jack laughed. "No? What about earlier?" _

"_That was in the SUV, so it doesn't count. Still Torchwood." _

"_Really?" Jack's voice dripped seduction. "Want to give it a try?" _

_Ianto grinned. "Oh, yeah." He leaned forward and placed his free hand on Jack's shoulder. Slowly, slower than Jack thought he could stand, Ianto closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Jack's. _

_The moment stretched. The kiss became kisses. Ianto let go of Jack's hand to hold on to his upper arm to steady himself, the other hand moving to the back of Jack's neck. Jack pulled him closer, a hand on his back, another on his thigh. _

_Ianto broke away. "Let's go inside, yeah?" he asked, his voice low and gravely with desire. _

_Jack stood —_

A gentle hand on Jack's cheek, the first gentle touch in months, brought him out of his memory with a start. He turned glassy, absent eyes to Tish.

"I have word from my cousin," she whispered.

"Your cousin is —"

"Alive and well," she interrupted fiercely. "The bird he sent was captured and controlled. His real message was never delivered. It's just taken a while for the message to be passed along."

Jack blinked slowly, not quite processing what she said.

"My cousin says: 'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I fear no Evil, for my Captain is with me.'"

Jack's eyes cleared slightly. "Tell him: 'Dark chocolate is good for the serotonin levels.' That's it for now."

***TW TW TW***

_Their fifth shag was a disappointment. Ianto wanted to top, but he was nervous, and he pushed too fast, causing Jack to tense up, which ruined the mood for both of them, the night effectively over. He left for home immediately, too embarrassed to stay, even though Jack tried to encourage him to cuddle and talk about it. The next day, by mutual (silent) consent, they moved on to other things. _

_Ianto had not yet loosened up enough to enjoy a bit of cuddling. Jack promised himself to work on him about the cuddling issue, because he was a very tactile person and he wanted Ianto to learn to be like that too, if they were going to continue what they were doing. He wanted to be able to take every opportunity to touch the young man while he had the chance. He knew how short Ianto's life was likely to be, working for Torchwood. _

_Ianto discovered that he loved rimming, both receiving and giving, much to his own surprise and Jack's joy. He could find Jack's prostate with his fingers quickly and easily. He'd even been bold enough to use four fingers at a time, something Jack hadn't experienced (or felt safe enough to attempt) for over thirty years (and that was with Lucia, who had __much_ _smaller hands,) and Jack spent the next week begging for Ianto to do it again. Ianto smirked at the neediness in Jack's voice and made him wait. All part of the game. _

_Finally, after two and a half weeks of bottoming, of Jack explaining what he was doing as he was doing it, his explanations becoming more and more dirty and graphic as the days progressed, Ianto offered to top again. They went at it more thoughtfully this time, with Jack giving even more encouragement and direction, and it worked beautifully. Afterwards, Ianto collapsed onto Jack bonelessly, sighing happily. _

"_God, Jack, that was spectacular," Ianto managed as he caught his breath. "I see what you like so much about it." _

"_Told you it was worth trying again," Jack responded with a smile, kissing Ianto's forehead. They lay together enjoying the afterglow for twenty minutes before Ianto got up to leave. It was the closest they'd come to cuddling, and Jack was extremely happy. He hoped he could encourage more of it, despite the casual nature of their relationship. _

_Casual didn't mean they couldn't cuddle, right? _

***TW TW TW***

For Jack's 500th death, the Master planned a surprise. He had Jack brought to the main level of the _Valiant_, where everything had started. The cameras rolled.

"Freak, so nice of you to join us," Saxon purred, circling Jack slowly. "We have a very exciting show planned for today. The whole world is watching. You're on Candid Camera!" He laughed maniacally. Jack ignored him, his focus on the Doctor, aged a hundred years and sitting in a wheelchair staring at the floor. He didn't look up at Jack's arrival.

"I've been cataloging your deaths," Saxon continued. "I think it's time to have some extra fun with it." He motioned, and the guard behind Jack pushed him forward with a hand on his shoulder.

With brutal efficiency, Jack dislocated his thumb and pulled his right hand free of the cuffs holding his arms in front of him. He used the momentum to swing around and knock down the guard at his back, landing with a thump on top of him on the floor. Free of the handcuff, Jack grabbed the guard's semi-automatic rifle in his left hand and rolled to his feet. Anyone who knew him knew that he was just as good a shot with his left hand as with his right.

"Resist him!" Jack shouted at the camera. "We're stronger than him! I'll never stop fighting! Ianto —"

Six bullets slammed into Jack's skull as the sharpshooters along the edge of the room fired. Two dozen more destroyed his chest.


	51. Chapter 51: On the Valiant, Months 8-9

**Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was**

**Chapter 51: On the Valiant, Months 8 & 9**

A/N: Warnings for violence and death in this chapter, as usual for this time in Jack's life. It's quite a long chapter, and we see some old faces, so enjoy!

.

Jack came back to life for the 569th time tied to the hospital bed again, this time on his front. He was restrained, as usual. A hand pressed against the back of his neck, holding him in place.

"The cameras are only out for ten minutes," a gravely male voice said in Jack's ear, the accent unmistakable Welsh, though it wasn't a voice Jack recognized. "And I don't have any anesthesia, so this will hurt. Try not to make any noise until I'm done, yeah?"

Jack didn't move, forcing his muscles to relax as the hand released his neck. _This is a strange way for torture to start, _he mused. _And it's not time yet for my hourly death… Better see this through. It could be interesting. _He felt the unmistakable touch of lips against the tender skin behind his ear.

"From Ianto," the voice whispered. "You're a lucky son of a bitch to have a man like that in love with you."

"I know," Jack answered, even softer, biting back a cry as a scalpel bit into the area just kissed by the mysterious man.

Seven minutes later, the procedure, whatever it was, was done. "He said a cut this small won't heal on its own. Make some noise so I have an excuse to shoot you. Saxon can't know what I've done."

"What's your name?" Jack asked.

"Jones," the man answered. "We're all Jones now, after him and Martha. Now make some damned noise!"

***TW TW TW***

_Jack smiled at Toshiko as she described the situation in London. A pig had been "juiced up," as the Doctor called it, its brain enlarged. Then it had been strapped into a spaceship, crashed into Big Ben, landed in the Thames, and frozen in the morgue, before Tosh had a chance to look at it, pretending to be a medical doctor. No one had realized that she wasn't, too intent on "first contact" with an alien species. It still amazed him how quickly the event had been glossed over and forgotten. _

_He examined the pictures she brought forward, looking at the Slitheen and remembering the time when he, Rose and the Doctor had met "Margaret," the last member of that family to live on Earth. (That he knew of.) Little did Tosh know, but Margaret was even now making her bid to become Lord Mayor of Cardiff and begin the Blaidd Drwg nuclear power plant scheme. In six months he'd have to lock down the Hub with his team inside to prevent them from seeing his younger, mortal self cavorting around the city with the Doctor. _

_How carefree he'd been back then! _

_Owen, only a few weeks into his tenure with Torchwood, watched Tosh's presentation with a kind of awe. Suzie, for her part, sat back and enjoyed the fact that Torchwood London and UNIT were taking the brunt of governmental ire for a change. _

"_So, that's about it," Tosh concluded, flicking off the projector. "Jack, do you know who that man was? The one who told me about the pig?" _

"_The Doctor," Jack answered without thinking. He froze, surprised that he'd let anything about the Timelord slip. "He's one of the peaceful aliens you'll encounter," he added for Owen's benefit. _

"_Huh, those kind are really out there?" the medic asked, clearly not sure he believed Jack. _

"_Of course there are!" Tosh exclaimed — _

_._

"_Jack? Jack, it's Tosh. Can you hear me?"_

Jack blinked, coming out of his chosen memory of the day. He looked around, finding himself alone in the boiler room, as usual. They'd long since stopped having guards in the room, though he thought there were still cameras and microphones monitoring him. He was just glad that Saxon had stopped killing him on the hour after a week. The constant deaths and revivals had been getting to him more than usual.

"_Jack, if you can hear me, cough or grunt or something,"_ Tosh continued. "_It's not safe for you to say anything, but please, let me know you can hear me." _

_Hearing things again, _Jack thought to himself. _God, can this get any worse? It's been, what, close to nine months? I wonder which drugs they're using this time. Oh well, at least it's Tosh. Last time I heard my father, and wasn't __that_ _a trip! _

"_Jack?"_ Tosh paused. "_He's not responding,"_ she added, as if talking to someone else. "_I know he's conscious. And they haven't drugged him in a week, so his system's clear." _

"Oh, Tosh, you're smarter than this," Jack exclaimed without thinking. "You're one of the smartest people I know! Think. Why wouldn't I be responding?"

"_Jack! Don't talk!"_ she ordered. "_We can't risk Saxon overhearing." _

Jack grinned to himself. _These hallucinations are so real! Maybe I've finally snapped? Shit, that can't be good. Gotta stop talking to them. Can't have Saxon think I'm off my rocker. That'll never do. _

"_OK, Jack, cough to let me know you can hear me,"_ Tosh said again. Jack remained silent. "_Jack, come on, you were just talking. Cough for me."_

Jack smiled to himself. _Ah, at least I have some hallucinations to keep me company now. I wonder how long they'll last? When is Tish due? Maybe she has another poem from Ianto? _

_Ianto. Such a wonderful man. So beautiful. So strong, and smart, and spiffy. Did I really just think 'spiffy?' Man, I'm losing it… _

***TW TW TW***

_Jack closed his eyes obediently and waited. Beside him, Ianto unlocked the door to his flat. He took Jack's hand and led him inside. _

"_You can open your eyes now," Ianto said softly. _

"_Wow!" Jack breathed, taking in the new decor. Ianto had replaced all the furniture in his living room, a navy blue sofa dominating the room, with matching armchairs on either side. The coffee table was glass, as were the end tables. The side lamps were made of pottery, striped earth tones with a touch of blue that complemented the room perfectly. Ianto had painted the walls a gentle cream, replacing the industrial white from before. A huge flat screen TV had pride of place next to Ianto's DVD collection. Ianto tugged on Jack's hand, pulling him through to the bedroom. _

"_Wow!" Jack exclaimed again. _

_Ianto's new bed, one of the largest Jack had ever seen, on this planet, anyway, screamed decadence. The duvet was a deep Burgundy, filled with down, and the perfect color for Ianto's skin tones. Jack's mouth watered at the thought of Ianto naked lying on the duvet. The walls were cream. The smallest bit of purple sheets peeked out from under the duvet. Matching pillows, four of them, sat at the ready against the headboard. The cherry of the bed frame, nightstands and dresser shined glossily, complementing the duvet. Jack blinked in surprise at the large mirror over the dresser, already imagining the things they could do with that set up. The wood was quite sturdy, he was careful to note, meaning they'd be able to tie each other down if they wanted. He grinned to himself. _

"_I take it that you like the new look?" Ianto asked somewhat smugly, leaning against the door frame. His eyes followed Jack as he drifted around the room, his hand trailing over the smooth wood. _

"_It's — wonderful," Jack managed, finding it hard to speak for a moment. "How did you have time to get this done?" _

"_The plans have been in the works for quite a while, but when you gave me that time off after the cannibals, well, I decided it was time to have everything delivered." _

"_So you spent the time putting all this together?" Jack asked incredulously. "I wanted you to rest up and get better!" _

"_I didn't do the actual building," Ianto exclaimed, shaking his head at Jack's assumption. "Why would I waste my time with that when you pay me enough to afford furniture like this? Besides, I think you'll find that I'm doing much better, health-wise," Ianto replied, stepping up to Jack and resting his hands on Jack's hips in the way that got Jack's blood boiling every time. _

"_Oh, yeah," Jack murmured, cupping Ianto's ass with both hands. "You were doing so well earlier. Think you're up for —" _

_Ianto interrupted him with a kiss, pulling Jack tight against his body. "Shut up and fuck me on my new bed, Jack," Ianto growled. "We've got a few weeks to make up for, and I want to be thoroughly shagged by the time we get in the car to go to London." _

"_Oh, I think I can oblige you there, Mr. Jones," Jack purred. "Good thing we don't have to see the Queen until tomorrow." _

"_I said, shut up and fuck me," Ianto repeated, dragging Jack to the bed. _

***TW TW TW***

Jack had been hearing Tosh's voice for three weeks before he started to wonder if it was actually her instead of a hallucination. He decided to see what would happen if he did as she asked and played along. He waited another week, paying more attention to her and what she said, listening for patterns.

_"Good morning, Jack,"_ Tosh said, as she usually did after he finished his breakfast and Tish had left him alone again. He was used to Tosh's constant commentary whenever he was alone, and had even begun to recognize the other voices — people? — she spoke to. Robert, James, Harriet, and Anna. Was 'Harriet' Harriet Jones, the former Prime Minister? The voice was similar, and she always seemed to call him Captain or Captain Harkness, the way the real Harriet did.

He grunted.

_"Jack?_" Tosh whispered, surprised. _"Did you just acknowledge me?"_

Jack grunted again.

_"Oh my God! Jack! That's great. Do it again, please."_ Jack obliged._ "Guys! Guys, he's responding!"_ Tosh shouted. _"OK, Jack, you're doing great. You can hear me, right? One for yes, two for no."_

Jack grunted once.

_"Great. You're doing great. Can you concentrate? I need to tell you what's been happening on our end."_ He grunted in acknowledgment._ "Here's the quick summary: Ianto got us all to Flat Holm and destroyed the Hub. Myfanwy made it out, though, and has been doing well. She's actually helping rehabilitate some of the Rift victims. Ianto found your daughter and grandson. Alice — didn't make it. She was injured getting to the island, and died from her injuries within the week. Apparently, the Toclafane were watching them. But Stephen's fine and healthy. He and Rhiannon's kids are great friends. We lost Gwen and Rhys about a month and a half later when they were out getting supplies. Owen… you know what happened there. He was supposed to tell you about this plan, but Saxon got to him first."_

Jack coughed, feeling tears on his cheeks. He just wanted her to stop talking. Too much loss all at once. Alice! Owen, Gwen, Rhys. All of them gone and all because of him. Him and the Doctor. The Doctor, who just _had_ to go and help every single person he met, whether it was a good idea or not. Who had to get captured by a madman. Who had to ignore Jack every time they saw each other. Who hadn't even given Jack a clue about his plan —

_"Just a little more, Jack, OK? There's good news: I'm seven months pregnant. Owen's child. It's all I have left of him, and we're not taking any chances, so don't start worrying."_ He heard the unmistakable smile in her voice._ "Once we were here for a few days, I just took the plunge and kissed him."_ She giggled. _"It's got to be a Torchwood thing that the threat of death brings us all together, right? I know he's gone now, and we have to move on. I'm glad we had what time we did, you know?"_

Jack licked at the salt on his cheeks as it dripped past his lips. He grunted in what he hoped would convey both congratulations and condolences.

_"Thanks. So here's where things stand: I'm still at Flat Holm with the main part of the British Resistance. Gwen's old partner, Andy, he's here too, and he's been fabulous. Ianto is traveling, trying to gather more people to our cause. Your friend, Martha Jones, is in contact with us every so often, like we've been with you, through rumors, poems, that sort of thing, though we've not met her. She's somewhere in the States, we think, but we're not sure."_

Tosh paused. _"We all miss you. Ianto especially. He wants you to know that he loves you. He made sure I'd tell you as soon as you were responding to me. He said: 'Ha'asha heh.' I hope I got the pronunciation right. He said that's your code for everything being OK between you."_

"I—"

_"Don't talk!"_ Tosh chided. _"I'll tell him you love him, too."_ She paused again._ "We know, Jack. We all know what you mean to each other."_

Jack choked briefly on his tears.

_"Just take some deep breaths, OK? You'll get through this. We have someone on the inside on the Valiant. It took us five months to get him in, but he's the one who put the transceiver under your skin so we can talk. Ianto said not to tell you who it is so that his position isn't compromised. From what we can gather, he's already interacted with you in other ways, but hasn't seen you that much. He's had to be as cruel as the usual guards. Ianto says you'll understand and not blame him."_

Jack grunted acknowledgment.

_"The plan is simple. We'll come free you, get you out of there, then we'll regroup and work on Martha and the Doctor's plan. Ianto's been a great leader, but if we can have you in charge again, the Resistance will be strengthened a lot. People respect you. Everyone's seen what you've been through, everyone on the planet knows you can't die and will do anything for us, for humanity. Everyone heard you urging us to resist Saxon a month ago. Once Ianto comes back to the island, we'll put the plan in motion and get him to the Valiant, too."_

Jack blinked, processing. He coughed twice.

_"What? You don't like part of the plan?"_

Jack agreed.

_"Which part?"_ she demanded.

He made a scoffing sound in his throat.

_"Oh, right, you can't tell me. Um, I'll go through each bit, OK? We'll come free you."_

Jack snorted. Laughter bubbled out of his mouth, slightly hysterical. "Saxon! I thought you were better than this!" Jack shouted at the top of his lungs. "I almost believed it!" He shook his head violently to rid himself of the voices, the imaginary transceiver.

"Small, little bits of truth interspersed with the lies. Good tactic, but it won't work on me. You hear me, Saxon? It won't work!"

_"Jack,"_ Tosh whispered. _"Jack, stop! You have to be quiet."_

Jack continued laughing. "Oh, I bet you've got a team of scriptwriters sitting around trying to figure out how to break me, don't you? It. Won't. Work! I've been tortured by crueler minds than you and I survived. I _thrived_! Nothing will break me! You hear me, Saxon? I can't be broken!"

_"Jack,"_ Tosh hissed urgently.

_"Toshiko, let it go for today,"_ the calm voice of Harriet said._ "Captain Harkness is probably just overloaded with information. We'll try again tomorrow."_

Jack didn't stop laughing until Saxon arrived with a pair of guards and ordered them to shoot him to 'stop that infernal racket.'

***TW TW TW***

_"Good morning, Jack,"_ Tosh said softly at the usual time the next day.

"Good morning," he answered, allowing himself a smile. "Have I ever told you how much I love you? You're truly a beautiful woman."

_"Jack,"_ she hissed. _"You shouldn't be talking!"_

"I shouldn't be talking?" he asked. "Oh, no, I'm gonna get in trouble." He laughed. "You ever hear voices? I mean, really hear them? By my time, they've cured schizophrenia. No one hears voices anymore. Unless they've taken certain drugs. Do you think he's drugged me this morning?"

_"There's nothing in your system,"_ Tosh reported. _"You should be fine."_

"Then why am I hearing your voice?"

_"Because I'm real."_

"Oh! The voices say they're real! How wonderful," Jack said. "OK, Real Tosh, answer me this: Would you have a threesome with Ianto and me? I know you've watched us on CCTV. Would you actually join in?"

_"I —"_

_"Captain Harkness, get your mind out of the gutter this instant!"_ Harriet ordered. _"We have much more important things to discuss than your sexual appetites."_

"Ooh, scary! Harriet's scolding me," he muttered. "I better get my act together and be a better little boy!"

_"Captain —"_

"Is my father with you?" Jack interrupted. "I heard him a few weeks ago. What about my brother? My mother? Who else is there? Martin? Is Martin there?"

_"Who's Martin?"_ Tosh asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

"He was my lover back in the '50's," Jack supplied. "We had five years together before Torchwood got him killed. So young. He was only twenty-seven." Jack sighed, remembering. "He married Sarah when he was twenty-one and she was seventeen. I liked her. Back then it was hard to find a woman who accepted that her husband went both ways, but she was fine about it. Joined in a few times, even. Then, after he died, she refused to see me anymore. Remarried, had children, moved away. Not much else to that story."

_"If we can get back on task, Captain?"_ Harriet asked._ "Your Mr. Jones is aware that you're responding to us, and will be able to contact you in a few days."_

"Dafydd!" Jack exclaimed happily, remembering just in time to change Ianto's name to his alias. "I've missed him."

_"Don't get your hopes up too high,"_ Harriet warned. _"We don't know how far away from the island he is."_

***TW TW TW***

_"Tell me about Lisa?" Jack asked, lying with Ianto on his sofa after one of their more violent shags during the second week of Ianto's suspension._

_"Why would you want to know?" Ianto muttered belligerently. "Why would I tell you?" He lay on top of Jack, his back pressed against Jack's chest as Jack held him._

_"I'd like to know what she was like, what made you fall in love with her." Jack absently stroked Ianto's chest, running his fingers through Ianto's chest hair. Ianto sighed, feeling soothed by the simple gesture. It wasn't the kind of thing they took time for lately, though there'd been more and more of it before the Cyberwoman Incident. He captured Jack's free hand and held it in his own. "I want to know more about you, Ianto," Jack continued. "She was important to you. That makes her important to me."_

_"You expect me to believe that you think I'm important?" Ianto scoffed. "Try another one."_

_Jack's hand froze. "You think I would do this for someone who's not important to me?" Jack demanded angrily. "You think I would do this for just anyone?"_

_"You'd do it for Gwen," Ianto muttered._

_"No, actually, I wouldn't."_

_"You act like her bloody lapdog, Jack."_

_"Yeah? Well, I'm shagging you."_

_"See? That's what I mean! You're shagging me. That's it, then."_

_"I don't understand."_

_"You might be shagging me, but you want her. You follow her around the Hub, let her get away with bloody murder. God, you act like some animal in heat whenever she's there. Sniffing around her."_

_"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?" Jack wondered, beginning to caress Ianto again._

_"Sod off."_

_"Yeah? Fine. Maybe I will." Jack shoved Ianto off him and onto the floor._

_"What the fuck's that for?" Ianto growled._

_Jack sat up and reached for his trousers. "You told me to leave, I'm leaving. I'm done for tonight."_

_"Wait," Ianto exclaimed, putting a hand on Jack's arm. "Are you really leaving? The one time I expect you to ignore my temper like you usually do, you actually take me literally?"_

_"You don't want me to leave?" Jack asked, confusion evident on his face._

_"No!"_

_Jack sat back down on the sofa and ran his fingers through his hair. Ianto climbed back onto the sofa and settled against his side. He pulled the blanket he'd been using over to cover them._

_"She was beautiful," Ianto whispered after a few seconds of silence. "She was self-confident. She was smart. I always told her she was wasted in HR. I thought she'd like Research and Development better."_

_"And she'd be closer to you that way, wouldn't she?"_

_"Yeah. Somewhere in the twenties instead of the thirtieth floor."_

_"What floor were you on?"_

_"The Archives were floors five through nineteen, and a few basement levels. R & D was twenty through twenty-nine. I rotated every six months, so I would learn about different types of aliens and things. When the Battle happened, I was on the sixteenth."_

_"What about her?"_

_"She'd been reassigned during the whole Ghost Shift nonsense, so she was significantly higher up. I found her on the forty-sixth floor, though she was supposed to be on the fortieth. They must have forced people up to the conversion units."_

_Jack remained silent, remembering what he knew about the Battle. He glanced over to Ianto. "You went after her."_

_"Of course I did. I love her. Loved her."_

_"You don't love her any more?" Jack sounded skeptical, but he reached over to take Ianto's hand._

_"It's hard to imagine loving someone who's dead. I mean, I still feel the feelings, but— Do I really want to live the rest of my life not knowing love any more? Do I want to give that up because she's gone?"_

_"You can still love her and love someone else at the same time," Jack pointed out. "We talked about that at the beginning."_

_"It's not the same."_

_"True —_

.

_"Jack? Are you alone?"_ Tosh's voice interrupted his memory. He sighed, then grunted to tell her he was alone. _"I have some good news: Ianto will be able to talk to you tomorrow. He's about six hours from here."_

In the background, Jack heard a siren and voices, urgent and scared. He recognized the sounds of crisis. Of panic.

_"Caravan's been hit—"_

_"Are there survivors?"_

_"Ianto was on that route!"_

_"No heat signals —"_

Silence descended. Jack hadn't felt so alone in a long time. _Goddess, let Ianto be safe,_ Jack thought.


	52. Chapter 52: On the Valiant, Month 10

**Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was**

**Chapter 52: On the Valiant, Month 10**

A/N: The Year is drawing to a close, so Jack's getting to the end of his ability to cope, especially with what the Master has thrown at him so far. Warnings for sex, violence, death, implied non-con.

.

"— I _pissed_ on his body," the guard Daniel hissed, his breath hot on Jack's ear. Jack twitched involuntarily. "Ianto Jones, savior of humanity, and I watched him _die_," Daniel continued. They were alone in the boiler room, no other guards present. Saxon hadn't been by to torture Jack in days, and he was getting suspicious about his absence.

Tears burned at the edges of Jack's eyes, but he forcibly kept them from falling. _It's just more of their psychological bullshit, _Jack thought. _They're just trying to break me. Where's Tosh and the others? Why haven't they been talking to me today? Why didn't they talk to me yesterday to let me know things were ok? Shit, were they just hallucinations after all? _

"Not saying anything?" Daniel taunted. "He must not have been all that important to you, after all."

Jack squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced, desperate not to react beyond that. _It's just them lying to me, _he told himself. _I can't believe them. How many times have they tried to convince me he's dead? How many times have I fallen for it? It's not real! _

"There's not much left of the body," Daniel added, walking away to stand in front of Jack. "But if you play nice, I'll see if the Master will let you see it. To say goodbye."

"How would I know it's him?" Jack demanded before he could stop himself. _If he's really gone, what do I have left to lose? I've got to find out for sure. I've got to get to Flat Holm. _

Daniel laughed harshly. "They saved the head."

Jack growled, low in his throat. Suddenly, Tosh's voice crackled in his ear.

"_Don't listen to him, Jack!"_ she ordered. "_Ianto's fine!" _

Daniel circled Jack, looking him up and down, a sneer on his face. Jack blinked a few times, trying to clear his head.

_Is that really Tosh, or am I just making that up to be able to keep going? What's Daniel's angle? Why is he looking like me like that? Shit, I know that look. He wants sex. He's been staring at me for months. Hmm, maybe… _

"What do I need to do to see the body?" Jack asked, raising his head.

Daniel's smile was ugly. "It would have to be something _special_."

Jack pretended to consider his options, a plan forming in his head. "What did you have in mind?" He lowered his voice slightly, adding a small tendril of seduction. He watched as Daniel's nostrils flared at the sudden increase in pheromones in the air. "There are all sorts of things I'd be willing to do…" Jack continued, trailing off as he lowered his eyes to Daniel's crotch. Daniel licked his lips.

"_Jack! Don't do it!"_ Tosh shouted in his ear. He shook his head, ignoring her. "_Ianto's fine, you don't have to do this! He'll be on the comms soon!"_

_That's what you said yesterday, Tosh, _Jack thought angrily. _Then his caravan was attacked and I didn't hear from you. There were no heat signals. I know I heard that. And now Daniel's coming here with news of his death… who am I supposed to believe? The enemy I know or the friend who might not be real? _

"I know you've seen me," Jack added, watching Daniel carefully. "Two months ago, when they gave me that drug to keep me hard for a week, when they made getting off a painful, horrible thing? You barely left the room the entire time. How many of them got to touch me while you just watched, huh? How jealous did it make you?"

Daniel swallowed, and Jack realized that he was fighting off an erection. He smiled lazily, allowing his body to show the signs of a desire he didn't feel, glad for once that the Master only allowed him clothing for special occasions. _No, not the Master, _Jack chided himself. _He's Saxon. Always Saxon. __This is for Ianto, _Jack added. _I'm just doing this to — _

"_Blood pressure's dropping,"_ Robert reported in his ear. "_What's going on?" _

"_Respiration's dropping, too,"_ Anna added.

"_Jack? Jack, what's going on?"_ Tosh demanded. Jack ignored her.

Daniel's eyes were locked on Jack's erection.

"Come on, want a taste?" Jack purred. "Want me to suck yours?" He paused a beat, raking his eyes up and down Daniel's body in a blatantly sexual way. "You ever shagged a man before, Daniel?" he asked. "You want to give it a try? I bet you're good. I bet you're a natural."

"_Jack!"_ Tosh exclaimed.

"You've seen them rape me," Jack murmured. "I know you have. I bet you've jerked off, thinking it was you doing it. Am I right? I'll let you do it. It'll be our little secret. You can claim it's rape if you need to for your reputation, but we'll know the truth, won't we?"

Daniel swallowed convulsively. Jack smiled in his head at the expression on his face. _Almost have him. He's hard, he's wanting. Just need him to come closer… _

"What'll it be, Daniel?" Jack wondered, lowering his voice even more. "I know you're not a bad guy, I know you don't really want to hurt me, right? Take my offer. Take my body…"

"_It's like his body's shutting down,"_ Robert commented. "_I've never seen anything like it."_

"_It looks almost like a meditative state,"_ Anna muttered.

"_Jack, please, stop this!"_ Tosh begged.

Daniel took a step towards Jack. "Slut," Daniel growled. "Whore."

"I love a man who talks dirty," Jack said with a theatrical moan, twitching his hips as best he could while still being chained up. "Come on, big man, what'll it be?"

"I'll be watching you," Daniel warned, moving even closer.

"Oh, I certainly hope so," Jack murmured.

"You try anything, and you're dead," Daniel said, indicating the automatic rifle over his shoulder.

"You get me what I want, I'll give you what you want," Jack countered. "Over and over again," he continued in a silky voice.

"_James, get Ianto on the comms,"_ Tosh demanded, her voice turned away from the microphone and harder for Jack to hear.

"_We can't risk it!"_ James protested.

"_I said get him on the comms!"_ she shouted. "_We can't let Jack do this!" _

"_Toshiko, Captain Harkness clearly has a plan of some kind," _Harriet interjected. "_If he's willing to do it, we should let him." _

"_But he wouldn't do it if he thought Ianto was alive! We've got to convince him Ianto's fine. The only way to do that is to get Ianto on the comms so Jack can hear his voice!" _

Jack tuned out the voices in his head as Daniel took a final step closer. He could feel Daniel's breath on his face. He closed his eyes, forcing his face into one of anticipation and desire, internally dreading what he was about to do. He allowed more pheromones into the air now that Daniel was so close. "Trust me," he whispered, hoping Tosh understood he was talking to her instead of the man in front of him. Daniel ran a hand down Jack's bare chest.

"You'll be my bitch, Harkness," Daniel mused, circling him again. He stroked down Jack's back and over his ass. "You'll do everything I say, won't you?"

"Yes," Jack answered in his bedroom voice, the voice he saved for Ianto. In his ear, Tosh was crying.

Daniel, back in front of Jack, looked him over again. "How do I know I can trust you?" he demanded suddenly.

"My word on Ianto's name," Jack replied, releasing even more pheromones. Daniel grunted, swaying slightly. _Almost have him, _Jack thought again. _Come on, Dan, smell those pheromones. I smell wonderful, don't I? You've never met anyone who smells as good as me. Think about it. If I smell this good, how do I taste? How does my mouth feel around your cock? How would it feel to fuck me? Come on, Dan, you want me. You know you do. One more breath of me. _

With an impatient snarl, Daniel lunged forward and grabbed one of Jack's wrists. "You better be worth it, Harkness," Daniel growled in his ear as he unlocked the first manacle. Jack feigned exhaustion and wrapped his free arm around Daniel's neck, holding himself up as his feet touched the ground for the first time in weeks. He avoided touching the weapon on Daniel's shoulder, knowing that would tip his hand and the game would be over. Instead, he kissed Daniel's neck.

"You know I am," he murmured softly against Daniel's skin. Daniel sighed in pleasure, pausing. Jack smiled as he continued kissing his neck, moving up towards his ear. "Want me to suck you off?" he asked as he kissed Daniel's ear, flicking his tongue along its edge to emphasize his point. "I think you'll just _love_ it…" he purred.

Daniel groaned, thrusting his hips, grinding his erection against Jack. "Yess," Daniel hissed. He freed Jack's other hand. "On your knees!" he ordered.

Jack sank to his knees and immediately began undoing Daniel's belt and fly. He pulled Daniel's trousers and underwear down around his ankles and stroked his erection, allowing his own to fade now that Daniel wasn't paying attention to anything but his own cock. _I never thought I'd be so glad I could control my pheromones and body as I am now, _Jack thought, licking along Daniel's erection. _And if my instructors at the Time Agency ever saw this acting job, they'd give me extra points for sure! Goodbye: Rear of the Year, 5094. Hello: Best Use of Sex to Escape Torture, 2008!_

Jack chanced a look up at Daniel's face. He had a very small smile on his face. He watched Jack with hooded eyes. Jack lowered his eyes and took Daniel in his mouth, groaning at the disgusting taste. Daniel took the sound as enjoyment and sighed again. A hand landed on Jack's head. He glanced up quickly. Daniel's eyes were closed and his mouth slightly open. _Hmm, it seems he's enjoying himself, _Jack concluded. _Let's hope he doesn't come quickly… I __really_ _don't want to taste any more of him than I have to… Goddess, I was spoiled with Ianto. _

As Daniel curled his fingers in Jack's hair painfully tightly, Jack resettled his feet onto his toes in preparation. With the hand that wasn't holding Daniel's erection, he felt around the ground for the handgun Daniel kept in the waistband of his trousers. He found it. Gripping the gun tightly, he made sure the safety was off. Daniel gasped at Jack's ministrations.

"_We've got adrenaline flooding Jack's system,"_ Anna reported in his ear. "_He's coming out of the meditative state. All his muscles are tensing!" _

"_Jack, please," _Tosh sobbed.

"_Incoming transmission!"_ James shouted.

Jack surged to his feet, pushing Daniel to the ground. He aimed his gun and fired, hitting Daniel square in the forehead. "_That's _for Ianto!" Jack growled. He fired again, placing the second bullet next to the first. "And _that's_ for making me do what I just did," he snarled, spitting on the body.

"_Tosh? Tosh, what's going on? I heard gunfire! Is everyone safe?"_ Ianto's voice sounded in Jack's ear, smooth and beloved, yet far away, as if his signal was being relayed from another source. _Wasn't he supposed to be with Tosh and the others_? Jack wondered.

"Ianto?" Jack whispered.

"_Jack? Jack! Talk to me, __ashe'ha__. What's going on?"_ Ianto asked hurriedly. It was undeniably Ianto. No one else would call him that. No one else on the planet even knew that word.

"Ianto!" Tears started streaming down Jack's face. "Talk to me, gorgeous, keep talking," he begged. "Let me hear your voice again."

"_Jack, I'm coming for you. Don't worry, ok? I'll be there soon. It's all planned out,"_ Ianto said. "_We'll rebuild. We'll fix this. We'll fight him!" _

"Don't need your help," Jack hissed. He began pulling the clothing from Daniel's body so he could dress. "I just killed Daniel. Did you know how fucked-up he was? Ha!" Jack started giggling as steam escaped a pipe overhead, wetting his hair. He inhaled a lungful and coughed briefly. "He was so intent on getting a blow job he forgot about his handgun. Now I'm wearing his clothes. You ever worn the clothes of a man you killed, Ianto? It's not the best. Not the first time I've done it, though, come to think of it. And I'm covered with his blood, but that's ok. I'll go hide in the barracks, get clean clothes." Jack strapped Daniel's military vest around his chest and began examining the pockets. "Oh, look here. If they capture me again, Ianto, and you have to come get me, give me something to bite on, you understand? Something hard."

"_I will, Jack. Now if you're dressed, you really need to leave that room, ok? They'll have been watching you on the cameras."_

"I don't doubt it," Jack said, getting his laughter under control. "Now, is everyone here? Give me a roll call, people!"

"_Toshiko, James, Anna, Robert and myself are here, Captain,"_ Harriet said. "_And Mr. Jones, of course."_

"Excellent. Tosh, you have a map of the ship?"

"_Yes,"_ she said. He heard her wiping her face. "_Where do you want to go?"_

"I need to get to the TARDIS," Jack answered. "It's somewhere on this ship," he added. "Where?"

"_I've got it, Jack," _Tosh said. "_Fifty meters to your right, there's a hatch in the floor. That'll get you into the sewer system. You'll be safer down there." _

"No," Jack protested. "No sewers. Too many Weevils down there."

"_There aren't any Weevils on the ship,"_ Ianto said. Jack started laughing again.

"Yes, there are!" Jack shouted. "I'm seeing them right now." He shook his head to clear it. "Two of them. Ugly bastards." He raised the rifle and shot at them. The bullets ricocheted off the metal walls. "Where'd they go?" he demanded. "They were just here!"

"_Jack, calm down,"_ Ianto said. "_Just listen to me for a minute, ok? You've been under a lot of stress. We know that. But you need to be careful." _

Jack's entire body shook suddenly. "Something's wrong with me!" he declared. "They've done something! I can't stop shaking. What's going on?"

"_I'm detecting a strange substance in his blood,"_ Robert reported. "_It's nothing we've seen before."_

"Steam just blew in my face," Jack said between gasps of laughter. "Could they have drugged that?"

"_I don't know, maybe,"_ Robert said.

"Ianto, you still there?" Jack asked.

"_I'm here, Jack," _Ianto answered.

"When I was younger, I used to have sex with a lot of people."

"_There's a time and a place,"_ Ianto hissed. "_This is not it!" _

"No, I really did," Jack said, continuing as if Ianto hadn't spoken. "And when I say a lot of people, I mean a _real lot ofpeople_. Aliens, too. I loved it. I loved the variety, the choices. Everyone's a little bit different, and it's fantastic."

"_Jack!"_ Ianto exclaimed.

"_Whatever this drug is, it's lowering his inhibitions,"_ Robert muttered.

"_You think?"_ Tosh demanded sarcastically. "_Jack, try to stay on task. You missed the sewers. Go back."_

"Oh, I like it from the back," Jack said, laughing loudly as he moved along the corridors randomly. "But you know why I bring it up? The sex, I mean? It's a small thing, insignificant, really. I used to think that. You know I did. Everyone knows I did. It didn't matter who I blew, who I shagged. Hell, I'd fuck just about anyone! But you know what, Ianto? It's all changed. It changed because of you. _You!_ See, it's not just sex anymore. With you, it's about love."

"_That's great, Jack, just keep moving, yeah?"_ Ianto said. "_And, we can have this conversation privately, right? I'd really prefer that." _

"Oh, don't be such a prude!" Jack admonished. "I'm saying really good things here. It took me a year of being with you to realize it, but it's all true. I love you, Ianto Jones. And I'm only ever going to have sex with you for the rest of your life. You hear me? Only you!" Jack shouted at the top of his voice. "Everything else — what I just did — involuntary. You hear me? Are you listening, Ianto?"

"_I'm — I'm listening,"_ Ianto choked out between tears. "_I love you, too, Jack. And I hope you're ready for eternity, because—" _

"_Guards are coming,"_ James warned, breaking into the conversation. "_At the next T-junction, they'll be on your left." _

"_Shit! Matthew's with them!"_ Anna exclaimed.

"Guards?" Jack asked, suddenly focused again. "How many?"

"_Drugs are leaving Jack's system,"_ Anna reported. "_Another adrenaline spike! How's he doing this? His metabolism must be off the charts." _

"_Five, but don't hurt Matthew,"_ James said, talking over her. "_He's our inside man." _

"How am I supposed to know which one is Matthew?" Jack demanded angrily.

"_Got it,"_ Ianto said. "_I'll link with him."_

"_No, it's too dangerous,"_ Tosh protested. "_You're not prepared. You're not rated high enough. It'll burn you out!" _

Jack rounded the corner and faced the guards. "Everybody down or I shoot!" he yelled, hefting the automatic rifle.

"_Jack,"_ Ianto whispered into his ear. At the same time, the man on the far left of the group held up his hands in surrender, saying Jack's name. The other four raised their guns. Jack fired. Four bodies dropped to the ground. Jack advanced on the lone soldier, his gun aimed directly at him. "_Jack, don't kill him,"_ Ianto said, the man echoing Ianto's words.

"Who are you?" Jack snarled.

"_His name is Matthew,"_ Ianto said through the man's lips and in Jack's ear. "_He's Level 5 Psi. He's allowing me control. Please, Jack, don't make his trust in us misplaced." _

"How do I know it's you, Ianto? How do I _really_ know it's you?"

"_The first night of my suspension—"_ Ianto/Matthew paused, thinking. "_You brought me fish and chips. You brought enough for both of us, but we didn't eat it. I threw it all away because I was so angry at myself for how I treated you that night."_

"I found it two days later," Jack breathed. "When I was cleaning up dinner."

"_I wouldn't acknowledge your apology that day,"_ Ianto whispered. "_It was too soon."_

"I went back to the Hub and cried for hours."

"_I cried myself to sleep for two weeks straight."_

"I loved you even then," Jack said, his breath catching in his throat. "It destroyed me to see you hurting so much." He took a ragged breath and met Matthew's eyes. They were blue, like Ianto's. They _were_ Ianto's eyes. Without thinking, he stepped forward and touched Matthew's cheek. "Let me talk to Matthew."

"_We don't have time for this,"_ Tosh hissed.

"I need to know he's given consent," Jack growled, spinning on his heel and shooting the three guards coming up behind them. He locked his eyes on Matthew's face again.

Matthew blinked a few times and shook his head. He met Jack's gaze. His eyes were brown. "Captain," he said in greeting. "Matthew Jones, at your service," he added, saluting.

"You're all Jones, now," Jack offered.

"For him and Martha," Matthew finished.

"You agree to this?"

"I volunteered."

Jack nodded. "Good. Thank you."

"From Ianto," Matthew said, stepping forward to press his lips against Jack's. _As a first kiss, it's not bad, _Jack thought absently as he returned the kiss, feeling instinctively that it wouldn't be against his earlier pledge to Ianto if he and Matthew had been linked psychically.

"That's from you," Jack corrected softly as he pulled away. Matthew blushed.

"_Guards coming! Both directions,"_ James reported.

"Back to back!" Jack ordered. Matthew hastened to comply. "Ianto?" Jack whispered, low enough that Matthew wouldn't hear.

"_Jack?"_

"Tell him I'm sorry." Jack turned and smashed the butt of his gun against Matthew's head, knocking him out with a precisely-placed strike that wouldn't do any lasting damage. He slipped away from the two groups of men on the floor. He turned down a hallway and ran up some stairs. "Update," he snapped.

"_Guards converging on you from all sides,"_ James said. "_They're in the corridors two floors above you and one below you."_

"How many?"

"_Five with each group."_

"I'm going to try not to kill them," Jack muttered. "I haven't killed anyone but Daniel yet, just taken them out of commission. Which way to the TARDIS?"

"_Left —"_

There was a series of clicks in Jack's ear. "_Oh Jackie-boy! We've got your little island," _Saxon said, suddenly on their wavelength. "_Kill as many of them as possible," _Saxon ordered. "_But we want the pregnant Asian woman alive."_ He laughed in his slightly hysterical way. "_And the illusive Mr. Jones, of course. Boys, don't knock out our freak. I want him to hear every little bit of this."_

Jack's blood ran cold as the sounds of screams and gunfire filled his head. He barely noticed when a cadre of guards grabbed him, took his weapons, and shackled his arms behind him, he was crying so hard.


	53. Chapter 53: On the Valiant, Month 11

**Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was**

**Chapter 53: On the Valiant, Month 11**

A/N: Warnings for violence and death. We're at the home stretch, people. Just one more chapter after this before time resets.

.

_"Are we really practicing?" Ianto whined. "I thought it was a euphemism for sex!"_

_Jack, setting out a collection of guns on the table in the shooting range, chuckled to himself. "We'll have sex afterwards," he said. "Don't worry."_

_"I'm not worried. I'm tired," Ianto muttered with a groan. "I don't think I'll be able to shoot straight."_

_"Then now is the perfect time for this exercise." Jack handed him ear protectors and safety glasses, donning his own as well. "You won't always be shooting a gun when in your best form. You have to be able to hit your target when you're about to pass out from exhaustion or injury. You have to be able to assess a situation and hit your targets in sudden darkness, or sudden light. You have to be able to hit them accurately and quickly."_

_"I'm not a field agent, Jack."_

_"And that's precisely why you need this training. Since you've been here, how many incursions have we had inside the Hub?"_

_"Um, six?"_

_"Eight. That's eight in ten months. I want you to be able to defend yourself no matter what happens."_

_"No matter what?"_

_"What if the rest of us are out in the field? What if we're all incapacitated? What if I get out of bed to bring you water and get killed and need you to take out whatever it is?"_

_"OK, OK, I get it," Ianto said stiffly, suddenly more awake._

_"I don't want any of that to happen," Jack said, gripping Ianto's arms and staring into his eyes. "But you're important to me, and I don't want anything to happen to you when a few hours of extra training can prevent it. Understand?"_

_Ianto swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I understand."_

_Jack pecked his lips and turned Ianto towards the targets. "Good. Now get firing. I'll try to startle you, but I want you to keep going. The goal is to avoid distractions." Ianto nodded his understanding._

_._

Jack came out of his memory to the sound of Tish arriving with his meal. Their eyes met. She shook her head slightly, frowning. Since Saxon had found and destroyed Flat Holm, no one was allowed to speak to Jack. The transceiver had been ripped from his head, painfully, of course, and he was left with silence and the memories of his friends dying, screaming for help in his ears. He accepted the food and wished her well, as Saxon hadn't found a way to make Jack himself stop talking. Jack let himself fall back into his memory of the day.

.

_Jack watched Ianto with a critical eye as he fired at the targets, moving around in Ianto's peripheral vision to distract him. Ianto managed to ignore him. What he couldn't ignore was the bucket of ice cold water Jack threw at him, soaking his suit and making his shot fly wide of the targets. He turned angrily to Jack._

_"Eyes front, soldier," Jack snapped. "We're not done here yet."_

_Grumbling to himself, Ianto returned to his task. He tuned out the shivers wracking his body. He tuned out Jack's movements. He tuned out the fact that Jack was taking off his clothing, taking off Ianto's clothing, kneeling before him._

_"New target," Jack said, pressing a button on his wriststrap to position it. Ianto grunted and fired._

_Darkness enveloped them. Ianto continued shooting until his clip was empty. Jack chuckled seductively in the dark. The gun disappeared from Ianto's hands to be replaced by another. Ianto automatically checked that it was loaded and fired at the target._

_Light flooded the room. Ianto squinted, a shot going wild. "Fuck!" he cursed._

_"Yes, please," Jack whispered in his ear, pressing his naked body against Ianto's from behind. One of Jack's hands relieved him of the gun while the other caressed his chest, moving lower. His first hand joined the act, finding Ianto's stomach, his cock. "Lesson's over," Jack purred. "Time for your reward."_

_Smiling devilishly, Ianto tripped Jack, knocking him to the floor. "Firearms practice might be over, but it seems that you need a refresher in hand-to-hand combat, sir," he said with a smirk._

_Jack laughed as he pulled Ianto's feet out from under him. They wrestled for a few minutes before Ianto pinned Jack down and started kissing him. Jack responded instantly. Since they both were already naked, things devolved into sex quite quickly after that, culminating in mutually satisfying orgasms, a shower together, and another round of sex in Jack's bed before they fell into exhausted sleep, curled around each other in the tight space._

_Jack was more than a little disappointed to wake up alone the next morning, though he would never admit it. It was rare for Ianto to stay the whole night, even though he kept several changes of clothing in Jack's closet and grumbled at the necessity of leaving a warm bed in favor of a quick drive and icy sheets. Of course, Jack reminded himself, when he stayed at Ianto's flat, he didn't stay until morning, either. He shook his head sadly and wondered how he could change that pattern without actually having to talk about it._

_A month later he decided to bite the bullet and actually use words, very awkwardly, to see if Ianto was willing to spend the whole night with him. He didn't come out and ask, because that would put too many of his cards (emotions) on the table, but Ianto knew what he was asking. Ianto agreed surprisingly quickly, though Jack was a nervous wreck waiting for his answer. Wiser than Jack in some ways, Ianto had told Jack to live life for today, to take what pleasure he could from their time together and remember that, rather than anticipate the potential heartache losing him would bring._

_._

Jack sighed, remembering that night. He had cried while Ianto held him, feeling safe enough in Ianto's arms to let down one of his barriers and express one of his deepest fears — the fear of being alone.

Another sound distracted him and he turned his head. Striding confidently into the room was — Ianto! Jack blinked, trying to clear his head.

Ianto stopped directly in front of him and met his eyes. Hard and full of sorrow, they were Ianto's eyes, nonetheless.

"Let me smell you," Jack blurted out suddenly.

Ianto laughed heartily, and Jack felt stronger for hearing the sound. It was Ianto's voice. "Not one of your better lines, sir," Ianto said, stepping closer.

"They've fooled my eyes and ears. They've fooled my brain with drugs. There's no way they can fool my nose," Jack explained, taking a deep breath, breathing in Ianto's unique scent. Then Ianto's lips were on his and they were Ianto's lips, and all Jack's doubts vanished in a flash. "Ianto!" he moaned into Ianto's mouth. Goddess, to touch him again, to smell him and see him and hear those beautiful Welsh vowels.

Ianto pulled back. "Let's get you out of here." He reached up to his ear to remove several of the earrings that dangled from it. "Lock picks," Ianto explained, beginning to get to work on the first manacle. "Easy enough way to carry them."

"They're going to know you're here," Jack hissed.

"Cameras are out for another few minutes. Before she — Tosh had everything set up, before. I just had to activate the loop."

"Mr. Jones," a new voice said from across the room. "You're not as careful as you seem to think you are." Jack's blood ran cold at Saxon's voice.

With a click, the first manacle opened, releasing Jack's arm. His toes touched the floor. Ianto moved to the second lock, ignoring Saxon.

"It would be wise to pay attention to me," Saxon continued.

"Fuck off," Ianto growled, still working on the lock.

"Ianto, go, save yourself," Jack ordered, shoving at him with his free hand.

"Not happening, Jack." Ianto looked over and gave him a small smile. "I'm not letting you leave me behind this time."

"How sweet," Saxon said in that fake, saccharine tone they had become so accustomed to over the past year. "Guards!"

Six burly men converged on Ianto, dragging him away from Jack. They forced him to his knees and secured his arms behind his back. He raised his head to meet Jack's eyes. "Believe, ashe'ha," Ianto whispered as Saxon shot him from behind, his forehead exploding from the impact of the bullet.

Jack screamed. Everything went red.

***TW TW TW***

Jack came back to himself to find the room empty except for bodies and blood. Six — no, ten guards lay dead, ripped apart by his anger and grief and bare hands. (And the bowie knife that lay on the floor in front of him. He didn't know where he got that.) He knelt on the floor next to Ianto, sobbing. His hands were covered in blood. His arms, too, all the way up to his elbows. He didn't care. He would kill everyone on the entire ship, just to have Ianto back.

The analytical part of his brain noted that Saxon was missing, that there were more dead guards than had been in the room before, that the room was sealed off and that somehow the lock had broken and he was free of the manacles.

He didn't want to touch Ianto's body. He didn't want to turn it over to close his eyes. His blue eyes that would never sparkle again, that would never narrow in annoyance when Jack propped his booted feet on his desk, that would never widen in desire as Jack whispered something lewd in his ear as he passed him in the Hub. He sat in the middle of the gore, empty. Nothing mattered now. Ianto was dead. Dead.

There was nothing to do about it. Not even destroying the paradox machine would work any more, because Ianto was here, on the Valiant, with the cannibalized TARDIS that was the only hope of bringing him back, of ending this nightmare.

Reluctantly he turned Ianto over and closed his eyes. He rested his hand on Ianto's bloody hair, loosing himself in memories again.

***TW TW TW***

_"Jack?"_

_"Hmm?" Jack grunted in the dark._

_"Are you awake?"_

_Jack shuffled closer to Ianto but didn't make another sound. He didn't feel awake, that was for sure. He let the scents of asheke and shimshiki wash over him, mingling with the scents of their bodies and lovemaking. The only thing that could make the night any better was if Ianto knew that they'd just gotten betrothed and if he'd agreed to it._

_But that would never happen, Jack mused, halfway between sleep and wakefulness when he could actually admit that he wanted Ianto's love, and that he loved Ianto, without worrying about the grief that would come of pursuing more than the physical relationship they had._

_Ianto settled down deeper in the bed. "I'm falling in love with you," he whispered as he fell asleep with a contented sigh._

_._

Jack bolted upright, climbing to his feet as the unbidden memory slammed into his head, shaking him to the core.

"Ianto," he moaned. "Ianto!" He slipped on the slick floor and fell, not caring that he would bruise. Ianto was dead. Nothing mattered any more. Hard wracking sobs shook his body.

Ianto was dead, and Jack hadn't even heard his confession all those months ago. Would things be different if he had? Would he not have left with the Doctor? Would his whole team be sitting around the Hub, alive, talking about Weevils while he planned yet another way to seduce Ianto?

.

_"I'm falling in love with you," Ianto whispered, falling asleep beside Jack with a contented sigh after seven and a half hours of lovemaking._

_The next morning, Ianto gave Jack a small, genuine smile with a cup of coffee. "I knew you would leave, Jack. I'm not upset…It was marvelous. All that I could have wanted and more."_


	54. Chapter 54: On the Valiant, Month 12

**Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was**

**Chapter 54: On the Valiant, Month 12**

A/N: This is the last chapter that has Jack trapped on the _Valiant._ Warnings for violence and major angst.

Thank you everyone for sticking with the dark times. I have "Kiss kiss, bang bang" written, but the updates will be a little slower after that. (I want to make my story as good as possible!) Thank you all for the reviews! I'm working my way through responding to them all, so if I haven't PM'd you yet to thank you personally, I will soon. Please continue to review, though. It's my goal to get 10 reviews for one chapter.

And now..._back to the Valiant. _

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**.**

Jack stared into the middle distance in front of him, not seeing anything. All he could do was think about Ianto and what he had lost. The blood of the men who had killed Ianto long since dried on his skin as he sat amidst the carnage.

.

"_I'm falling in love with you," Ianto whispered as he fell asleep with a contented sigh. _

_._

A harsh gasp, almost a cry of pain, startled Jack. He blinked to clear his eyes. Ianto sat up. He rolled his head from side to side, cracking his neck. He groaned in pleasure as something popped back into place. His forehead was clear, no bullet-hole, just smooth skin.

_Shit, am I hallucinating again? _Jack demanded of himself. _God, it's my fantasy come to life! Ianto alive again, unable to die... but I can't get caught in by it. It's just another of the Master's tricks. No, not the Master. Never the Master. Goddess, why can't I remember that_?_ Saxon. It's just one of Saxon's tricks. _

_Fuck, but I've been here a long time. _

"Well, then, come on," Ianto said, almost cheerfully. "Get me out of these cuffs and we can be on our way."

Jack scooted backwards across the floor away from him, his eyes wide in horror. His back slammed against a wall. "No," he croaked. "No." _It's __Ianto's voice! But Ianto's dead. I saw Saxon kill him! I saw it. There's no way he could be like me. I'm an impossible thing! I'm a freak, a monster, something not even the Doctor can stand to look at. I'm wrong. Saxon would know if Ianto's like me, and he didn't say anything. He'd be able to feel it, like the Doctor felt my wrongness. God! Why? Why? _Jack squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm himself. It didn't work very well.

"Jack, focus," Ianto said, interrupting his thoughts and startling him again. "I need a key for these cuffs." He looked around the room, saw the bodies, saw the blood. "Shit," he whispered. "Did — did you do this? Because they killed me?"

Jack started shaking. "No, no, no, no," he chanted, pulling his knees up to his chest. "Not real," he moaned. "Not real. He's gone."

"Jack!" Ianto struggled to his feet.

Jack darted away as Ianto got close to him. "Goddess, why are you doing this to me?" he shouted at the ceiling. "I loved him! I loved him and you took him from me! Haven't you done enough? Why are you making me see him? Why?" Jack tripped on a body and fell. He stayed where he was, sobbing. _Goddess, just let this torture end! Please, I'll take anything, any kind of pain, just not this. Not him! _

Ianto sighed and rummaged around one of the bodies until he found a set of keys by feel. His forehead scrunched in concentration, he unlocked the cuffs from behind his back. He dropped them to the floor with a metal clank. Taking a quick inventory of the room, he gathered weapons and undressed one of the bodies, throwing the clothing at Jack's feet.

"Get dressed," he ordered. Jack didn't move and he advanced on him. "Come on, Jack, we have to move!"

Reluctantly, Jack dressed. When he was standing and ready, Ianto handed him an automatic weapon. Without thinking he checked the clip and made sure it was loaded and ready to be used.

"I'm like you, Jack," Ianto said. "I thought Tosh told you! I don't know how it happened, but I've died dozens of times and come back. The first time was when I was picking up Alice and Stephen. A pair of Toclafane followed them. I threw Stephen into the boat and took out one of the buggers, then the other one nearly beheaded me as I was trying to help Alice. I came back to life in time to disable it before it killed her." He shrugged. "Knowing you, I figured out what had happened immediately."

Ianto paused and looked at Jack. "We'll always have each other, now," he said softly, a gentle smile on his face. "I thought you'd be happy," he added uncertainly when Jack didn't respond.

"If you were real, I'd be ecstatic," Jack answered in a rough, tear-choked voice after a long moment. "But a hallucination of Ianto telling me he's like me is more like torture. Something I'll never have. Something I'd wish for only when I'm being selfish. But I wouldn't want Ianto to go through life the way I do. I wouldn't wish this curse on someone I loved, even if it meant having him beside me."

"I'm not a hallucination. I'm real. Look, touch me." Ianto extended a hand to Jack, who shrank away, avoiding the touch. Ianto sighed and ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. "OK, let's say I'm a hallucination. Will you come with me anyway?"

Jack swallowed. "Where do you want me to go?"

"When you escaped last time, you wanted to get to the TARDIS," Ianto said. "How about we go there?"

"Um—" Jack paused, shifting the gun in his hands, considering his options. "Sure, why not?"

"Good. This way," Ianto said, leading the way. Jack fell in step behind him, a strange reversal of how they usually stood or walked. At the door to the room, Ianto produced more lock-picking tools from earrings on his other ear and got the door open. He turned left down the hall.

"I've been seeing and hearing things for months," Jack whispered as he followed. "They've been drugging me, killing me, torturing me. I don't know what's real anymore, half the time."

_Maybe, just maybe, - maybe Saxon's so used to my wrongness that he's immune to the feeling, and Ianto's real? That he can't feel Ianto's wrongness? _He shook his head forcefully. _No! Ianto's not wrong. Ianto's __never wrong. He always says he knows everything. If he knows everything, he'd know if this were real. He'd already know he couldn't die. And he'd have told me! I'm sure of it. Why would he keep that from me? If it were real, I could let go and love him. I could do it without fear. Goddess, how I wish that were true! _

_But I saw him die! I felt his blood on my skin. This can't be him. It can't be real. No way Ianto could be like me. I'm wrong, like the Doctor said, like the Master keeps saying. I'm a freak. The Doctor would've told me if there were another like me out there. Which means - this is a hallucination. It has to be. There's no other explanation.  
_

"I'll help you figure out what's real, _ashe,_" Ianto replied, unaware of the thoughts running through Jack's head. "We'll get through it together."

"You won't be able to," Jack said. "How can a hallucination help me figure out what's real or not?" Jack laughed harshly. "Ianto's dead. His body is on this ship. He can't be here if he's going to go back to normal. The ship is the eye of the storm. Anyone on it will stay as they are now, with their memories."

"So when everything's fixed, you'll come back to a Hub that hasn't been destroyed, a team that's not dead, but you'll still remember all this torture?" Ianto asked incredulously. "And no one else will? _I_ won't?"

"Pretty much," Jack answered. He sighed and looked around, becoming more alert with each minute that passed. "Where is everyone? I've never seen the halls so empty."

"Don't know," Ianto muttered, distracted by his thoughts and worry for Jack. He turned down another corridor and froze. "Shit!"

Directly in front of them, a dozen guards stood, guns raised and aimed. Jack raised his own gun, determined to shoot through the Ianto hallucination. Bullets ricocheted off the walls and tore into Jack's body. In front of him, Ianto fell, blood blooming on his back from Jack's gun.

.

***TW TW TW***

.

Jack revived to find himself shackled in the boiler room again. It looked like it normally did, with no evidence of the bloodshed he remembered. He closed his eyes and let the chains hold his weight. He replayed the scene in the corridor in his mind, remembering reviving just in time to see Ianto's body being pushed out a door to the outside by a pair of black uniformed guards. He clamped his mouth closed on the scream that threatened to escape his lips.

_What's real? _he wondered. _What's real? Was he real? Was he a hallucination? Goddess, help me understand! _

.

"_I'm falling in love with you," Ianto whispered as he fell asleep with a contented sigh. _

.

"Ianto," Jack breathed, remembering.

"Yes, Jack?" Ianto asked, stepping into the room. Jack jerked on his chains, his eyes flying open. "You seriously didn't think that I'd leave you here, did you?" Ianto advanced. "Though shooting me wasn't your best move."

"Are you real?" Jack wondered.

"Of course." Ianto reached in his pocket and found the alien lock-pick device from the Hub. "Just give me a minute and we can get out of here."

"How?" Jack asked.

"I'm like you. I can't stay dead. I explained that already."

"That's what the hallucination said."

"Well, I'm not a hallucination," Ianto muttered. The first manacle fell away from Jack's wrist. "I wasn't a hallucination then, either."

Jack let his arm rest on Ianto's shoulder to support him as Ianto worked on the other manacle. His arm slipped through thin air. Ianto was gone as if he'd never been there. Jack hung by one arm. He struggled to get his feet under him.

Mad laughter filled his ears and he looked up to see the Master watching him. He scowled.

"Oh, this is fantastic," the Master exclaimed. "You actually think he's real, don't you?" He pressed a button on his laser screwdriver and the other manacle released Jack's arm.

Jack staggered and fell. He closed his eyes again in an attempt to tune out the Master's laughter.

.

***TW TW TW***

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"Ianto?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"How long have I been here?"

"327 days."

"How long since I watched you die the first time?"

"Two weeks."

"And how many times have I seen you die since?"

"About twice a day, not counting the videos."

"But it's not real, is it? It's just more hallucinations?"

"Yes."

"And how many other hallucinations of you have I seen or heard?"

"Four or five a day, sometimes more when the Master's been especially cruel to you."

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

"You're talking to me, Jack. I haven't been on the _Valiant_ in weeks. The Master killed me, remember? Right in front of you. Then he shot my back to match with what you said you saw. He threw my body over the side of the ship and the Toclafane did their usual thing, tore his body to shreds. You watched that. He makes you watch a loop of the footage of my death at least once a day."

"So that's a yes? Yes, I'm crazy?"

Ianto sighed. "I love you, Jack. I don't care if you're crazy or not."

Jack snorted in amusement. "Great. A hallucination of my dead lover says I'm crazy."

"I said I loved you, too, or don't you remember what I just said?"

"I heard you. I just wish you got to say it to me before you died. I wish I had the guts to tell you before I left."

"So do I."

.

***TW TW TW***

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"Ianto?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't. Of course I wouldn't. Not after Lisa. I promised you I wouldn't, and I always keep my promises."

"But if you're a hallucination, you might not be able to tell me the truth, because you're a figment of my imagination, right? You might not _know_ what's true, since I don't know what's true anymore."

"I suppose so. But I'm real. I know the difference."

"I can't feel you when you touch me, Ianto. I think you're a hallucination this time."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

.

***TW TW TW***

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"Ianto?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Are you real?"

"No, Jack. I'm just a hallucination."

"I wish you were real. I miss you. I want to hold you again."

"I know, _ashe'ha. _Believe me, I know."

"I love it when you call me that."

"I'm glad."

.

***TW TW TW***

.

"Ianto?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"How long have I been here?"

"361 days."

"Was the Doctor I spoke to last month real? Or was he another hallucination?"

"He was real. You could touch him, remember? You can't actually touch me."

"Only a few more days, then," Jack commented. "Then his plan will finally be ready to be acted upon. Then we can get out of here."

"Can I give you some advise?"

"Of course. I always welcome your advise."

"You need to build up your boxes again. You need to put all this torture behind you, so you can do what you need to do when the Doctor is ready for you."

"I've been trying. I only talk to you once a day! The Master's much happier now that I'm more 'fun' again." Jack sighed. "The Doctor was right. I have to distract the Master while I can. We don't have much time left. I can manage a few more days of his sadistic ways." He paused. "Shit, I said it again, didn't I? Saxon. I have to distract Saxon."

"I know you've been trying to build your boxes, and it's working a little, but you really need to make it work this time." Ianto paused. "And you have to stop talking to me. I'm holding you back from making it work."

"It's so hard to let you go," Jack protested. "I love you. I was wrong to run out on you."

"I knew you'd have to go with him, Jack. I know you needed answers that only the Doctor could give you. The real Ianto knew, too. He might be angry that you didn't leave a note, but he knows you had to go. I'm pretty sure he'll take you back when all this is done."

"When I go back, I'm going to make it up to you. I'm going to make you understand just how important you are to me."

"That sounds great, Jack. I'll look forward to it."

"I'll take you on a real date. I'll call it a date, this time. None of that 'it's just dinner' bullshit."

"I'd like that. Now, get working on those boxes!"

Jack took a deep breath and began preparing for the mental exercises necessary to re-create the boxes in his head to store away the torture and hallucinations to be looked at later, when it was safe to do so. He hoped that day came soon. He hoped Ianto would be there to hold him while he did it.

"Goodbye, Ianto," Jack whispered, resigning himself to another few days alone, without the Ianto hallucination that had been keeping him company for the last month. "I love you."


	55. Chapter 55: Timey-Wimey

**Torchwood Files: The Year That Never Was**

**Chapter 55: The Timey-Wimey of it all**

A/N: We rejoin the Torchwood team several days after Jack left to go with the Doctor, an hour after Ianto gets the disturbing phone call and email from Chapter 44. Enjoy!

.

_IAANTOOOO! _

Ianto staggered and dropped the papers in his hand, looking around the Hub frantically. "Jack?" he whispered.

"You OK, mate?" Owen asked, coming up behind him and putting a hand on his shoulder.

Ianto shook himself and bent to gather the papers from the floor, glad none of them had landed in the pool of water at the base of the tower sculpture. "I thought I heard Jack," he replied, running his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture.

"It's been five days, and, as far as I know, he hasn't come back," Owen said. "Maybe you're hearing an echo of him? You know, one of those psychic things. He's lived here a long time, like, over a hundred years. The place is probably imbued with his psychic energy."

"True, but he hasn't been calling my name for much longer than a year."

"Ah, well, you're on your own about that, then," Owen answered. He paused. "You doing OK with him being gone?" he asked awkwardly.

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" Ianto snapped, suddenly angry. "I was just the part-time shag, after all. Isn't that what you called me? I'll survive." Ianto turned away towards the coffee machine. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have coffee to brew."

Owen stared after him in shock for a moment before going off to throw himself on the couch by the cog wheel door. They hadn't decided what to do about the conference room that had been destroyed when the Rift opened, and were using the couch area as a temporary meeting place, though they'd brought in a larger table they could all sit at rather than the coffee table.

Once everyone arrived and was seated with their preferred coffee, Ianto passed out copies of the email and associated files he'd gotten the hour before. "So, as you can see, whoever this is wants us to go to the Himalayas because Jack is there," he said, settling into his usual seat to Jack's right. Only, Jack was gone and Jack's seat was empty. He sighed sadly.

"It looks like a trap," Owen mumbled, slurping noisily on his coffee, his earlier tiff with Ianto forgotten.

"That's what I was thinking," Ianto muttered.

"I've managed to trace the email to Saxon's office," Tosh declared. "You've worked with him before, haven't you, Ianto? Why would he try to hide himself from us?"

"Busy with the election, I imagine," Ianto answered. "Though it _does _seem a bit suspicious."

"Well, I say we go," Gwen declared. Three stunned pairs of eyes turned to look at her. "What? It's what Jack would do, isn't it? He's always charging off into traps and such."

"Yes, but he usually does some planning, doesn't he?" Owen interjected.

"He didn't at the Beacons," Gwen argued.

"Well, we were about to be eaten by cannibals, weren't we?" Tosh pointed out. "We didn't have our car, and what else was he supposed to tell us to do?"

"So we'll go to the Himalayas," Gwen said again.

Ianto stared at the folder in front of him, tuning out the conversation as the others argued back and forth about following Saxon's orders. Ianto decided he didn't care about the outcome and would do whatever the group decided.

_Who do I want to lead? _he asked himself. _I don't want the responsibility. I don't think Gwen deserves it, though if she's loud enough the others might just cave and let her be leader so they don't have to hear her argue about it. I'm not sure I can trust Owen with everything Jack has had to do with this place. I have three letters. Three letters for three different leaders. _

_I know Jack wants me to lead, but I don't think any of them will listen to me. They don't respect me or my opinions. I'm just the Teaboy. The General Support Officer who doubles as the Archivist, who shags the boss on the side. I'm not a leader. Hell, Owen still thinks I'm only here because I shagged Jack throughout most of my suspension. _

_I don't want to be a leader. I want to support the leader. I want to support Jack. _

_I want Jack. I want him back. I miss him. I miss so many things about him. The little looks and touches and comments throughout the day. The way he'd moan when he tasted the first coffee of the morning. How good it felt to have him pounding into me when I needed a rough fuck. His bright megawatt smile. Almost as much as that small smile he gives me sometimes when he's being especially caring. Those few times I got to wake up with him still in bed, feeling safe because I knew he was there. My nightmares weren't as bad when I was with him. _

_God, why did he have to leave? _

_No, I know why he had to leave. He needed answers. I know he needed answers, but why did he have to stay away? Why hasn't he come back yet? The Doctor has a bloody time machine! He could get Jack back within five minutes of leaving, couldn't he, so we wouldn't even know he was gone? Bloody Doctor. Stupid bloody Doctor, tempting him away from us. _

_But we betrayed him. I betrayed him. Why would he come back after I did that? After I almost ended it because of a stupid kiss? Am I really that shallow? Am I really that hung up on it? He's a flirt! I know that. I'm OK with that. But did he really have to __kiss_ _the blighter? Fall in love with him? _

_Jack, you showed me that night that you remembered just about every significant place or event we've had together. You remembered when our first kiss was, and invited me to dinner that same night a year later, even after we'd just had a rough patch and I was sure you'd forget. But you remembered, and you got me that car, and you let me shag you until dawn… _

_You care about me. I know you do! But you can't say it, and I wish you could, and if you do come back, I'll tell you that I don't care that you can't say it as long as we keep doing what we're doing. And I won't tell you how I feel because I know you don't want to hear it, but I'll do everything I can to make you feel loved and needed. Because I need you, too, Jack. I need you. You balance me. You gave my life meaning when all I had was darkness. I can't lose that again. _

"Ianto, anything you can think of?" Owen asked, breaking into his thoughts. Ianto jerked slightly.

"I'm sorry. What was the question?"

"I said, does Jack have any files on yetis or the Himalayas or Saxon that you know about? And what do the Archives tell us?"

"Oh, um, no. His Saxon file is quite small, and includes a few crude drawings he did while on the phone with him, but not much beyond the info on Saxon's website and transcripts of phone conversations they've had. He disliked the man, and didn't hold much store by his opinions." Ianto paused, thinking. "There's nothing about the Himalayas in the Archives, that I've seen, and that includes what I saw when I was back at London. That was only a small fraction of what they had, however, and most of that data is lost, so there might be something I've just never seen. As for yetis, I'm not sure. I'd have to do some research and cross-referencing."

"You didn't do it before you called us in?" Gwen asked, annoyance coloring her tone.

"No, I was too busy making the coffee I knew you'd want at this hour and trying to find the procedures for picking a new director," Ianto replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Easy there, mate," Owen said, making a soothing motion. "We know you've been doing your best. Did you find anything about who's in charge next?"

Ianto took a deep breath and let it out slowly. _Here goes nothing, _he thought, standing. _I'm glad I'm so good at forging Jack's signature. _He picked up the folder in front of him, extracted the single sheet of paper and began reading.

.

To: All Torchwood Staff

From: Captain Jack Harkness

SUCCESSION OF COMMAND OF TORCHWOOD THREE, CARDIFF

In the event of my absence from Torchwood (while not on a mission) or incapacitation due to medical/alien means for greater than one (1) month, the following steps will be taken:

1. Dr. Owen Harper is hereby promoted to Medical Director and Director of Field Operations.

2. Ms. Toshiko Sato is hereby promoted to Director of Technology, Science and Research.

3. Mr. Ianto Jones is hereby promoted to Head Archivist and Liaison to the Government and UNIT, as well as Special Liaison to the Crown.

4. Ms. Gwen Cooper remains as a full-time Field Agent and Police Liaison.

Should it be necessary to hire and train new field agents, medical/technical staff or support officers, a panel of Mr. Jones and Dr. Harper will evaluate and vet all potential employees.

As Special Liaison to the Crown, Mr. Jones has the final authority on matters of Torchwood Policy and inter-agency communications.

Signed,

Captain Jack Harkness

.

Owen snatched the letter from Ianto's hands as soon as he finished reading it. He proceeded to re-read the letter, muttering as he went along. Then he passed it to Tosh.

"So who's in charge?" Gwen asked as she read it over Tosh's shoulder.

"I don't think he appointed _anyone_," Ianto answered. "We each have our specialties, and Owen's in charge of fieldwork and I'm in charge of talking to the government and Crown."

"You think you're up for that?" Owen wondered. "Talking to the Crown, I mean."

"I've met the Queen with Jack a few times."

"Really?" Tosh asked. "What's she like?"

"Remarkably spry," Ianto answered. "She has a quick wit and enjoys flirting with Jack. Not at all her public image, which is as she likes it." He paused. "I've also met some of the other Royals, as a precaution, though they won't learn about Torchwood until they're on the throne."

Owen paused, looking up from the letter. "You know, I think this means that Teaboy's in charge," he mused.

"I don't want it," Ianto said quickly.

"Well, neither do I," Owen replied. "I'll take Field Operations, but I'm not running this whole bloody place."

"Well, we don't have to decide now, do we?" Tosh put in. "He hasn't been gone a month yet. He might come back," she added hopefully.

"So let's figure it out when we get back from the Himalayas," Gwen said. "If that's where he is, we won't have to worry about it, right?"

"You really think that's where he is?" Tosh asked.

"It's as good a place to start as any."

Ianto sighed. "I'll arrange with UNIT for transport," he muttered, standing.

***TW TW TW***

Ianto wanted to crawl down the hallway to his flat, he was so tired, but he kept himself on his feet somehow, not wanting to loose what little dignity he had left, looking the way he did after three flights and no shower for several weeks. He stood swaying in front of his door for nearly five minutes, struggling to remember where his keys were. He finally decided that he'd lost them somewhere in the Himalayas. He shuffled down the hall to his neighbor's door and knocked, leaving his bags at his own door. He was too drained to care if anything was stolen, though the possibility was unlikely. Everyone seemed to look out for each other in the building.

Sharon Barry answered quickly. "Ianto!" she exclaimed, seeing him. "Where have you been, love? We've all been worried about you."

"I'm sorry to bother you, but do you have a spare key to my flat?" he asked softly, too tired to bother with the usual pleasantries and greetings. "I think Jack said once that he left one for you if there was an emergency."

"That he did, six months ago now. Come in for a spot of tea while I find it."

Within minutes, Ianto found himself sitting at Mrs. Barry's cozy kitchen table, a mug of tea in front of him. He took a grateful sip of it, glad for the warmth. She bustled around him, chatting about their other neighbors good-natured and telling him about the horrible election and how Saxon had murdered the American President before being killed by his own wife. She set a plate of biscuits in front of him and sat, holding her own tea.

"So where's Jack that he can't let you in?" she finally asked, her eyes flashing. He didn't notice the slight accusation in her tone.

"He left," Ianto blurted before he could censor himself. "I mean, he left for business, and he's not back yet."

"You don't sound so happy about that," she commented.

"Well, we got into a fight the week before he left," Ianto explained, not sure why he was opening up to her in this way but unable to stop himself because he was so tired and his usual filters weren't working. "I almost broke up with him, but he explained… and then there was this big work thing we had to do, and he was hurt."

"Oh no! Is he better?"

"Um, it was a medically induced coma," Ianto explained, thinking that was the closest he could get to the truth. "Four days later we brought him out of it, and he was doing fine, and was in the middle of apologizing to me for what happened before all of that, but then work got in the way again, and before I knew it, he was gone."

"When is he coming back?"

"I don't know. He, um, he's undercover. He can't contact us until he's back."

"How long has it been?"

"Almost a month. We've been out of town for three weeks, following a lead. Just got back." He shivered, remembering the bone-deep chill he'd had on the top of the mountain. "Bloody Himalayas," he muttered.

"That's not exactly Cardiff," she pointed out, standing to make him another mug of tea. "I didn't think you lot went much farther than London."

"No, but our work takes us strange places sometimes."

"That's what I hear." Ianto looked up in surprise. "Oh, don't give me that look. I've seen you and Jack in that bloody Torchwood behemoth he calls a car. You boys sure do like a bit of flash, don't you?"

"The director before Jack had it ordered," Ianto mumbled, embarrassed. "Apparently, it's too expensive to order a new one. I keep telling him it's too ostentatious, that we should just take off the lettering, but …"

"He loves it," she finished for him. "A flair for the dramatic, that one has."

"Yeah," Ianto said softly.

"You miss him, don't you?" she asked gently after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"More than I thought possible," he answered, staring into the empty mug in his hands. "Knowing him, being with him, it's changed me for the better. Nothing's the same without him."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm sure he misses you, too."

"I like to think so," Ianto said with a sad smile.


	56. Chapter 56: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, pt 1

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 56: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bank, part 1**

A/N: Thank you everyone for sticking with my story through the Year That Never Was! Now we return to our regularly scheduled program, Torchwood, Season 2. (No, I don't own it. I just like to play.) Enjoy!

.

Ianto sat in strained silence in the passenger seat of the SUV as Jack drove them to the office building where one of the canisters that Jack's _friend_ — Ianto used the term _very_ loosely in his head — had requested help finding should be. The other two pairs had been dropped off at their respective sites, leaving him and Jack alone for the first time since Jack showed up so dramatically two hours earlier. Jack made no effort to break the silence, lost in his own thoughts. He frowned to himself.

"Was he really your partner?" Ianto blurted, earning an annoyed look from Jack.

"Yes," Jack growled. "But it's been over for a long time."

"He still wants you."

"Tough for him."

"You're not interested?" Ianto persisted.

"No, I'm not."

"And you're not going off with the Doctor again?"

"Ianto, I said all that already. I came back for you. I'm staying for you."

"Me or Gwen," Ianto muttered under his breath, feeling irritated, uncharitable and just plain _grumpy_. This was not the reunion he pictured, with Jack fawning over Gwen, one of Jack's psychotic exes showing up, and barely an acknowledgment of Ianto. He'd wanted a kiss, at the very least. Where was the Jack who kissed him so enthusiastically in the Hub after reviving from defeating Abandon? Where was the Jack who promised to explain everything? Who looked excited when Ianto suggested dinner?

"What?" Jack asked, clearly confused. Ianto pretended to ignore Jack's confusion and plowed ahead.

"I saw you two on the CCTV. I'm not stupid, Jack. I saw how you were looking at her."

"She's getting married."

"Yeah, so? That wasn't the look you give just anyone, even for you."

"Ianto, are you jealous? You have nothing to be jealous about! I've never done anything with her. She's the one who cheated on Rhys, and I'll remind you that it _wasn't_ with me."

"But you want her."

Jack sighed, frustrated, pulling the car to a stop in front of their assigned building none too gently. "I wanted to," he admitted finally after a full minute of silence. "A long time ago," he quickly clarified. "But I never did anything about it, and I'm not going to. I don't get in the way of established relationships. You know that!" He turned in his seat to face Ianto. "I might not have grown up with things like marriages or monogamy as something vital to relationships, but I understand them. I've lived on this world a long time. I can be monogamous if I want to be, if I have the right motivation. It's happened before."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "I'd like to see the day," he quipped. "Who on this earth could get Jack Harkness to swear to monogamy? Certainly no one _I _know." Ianto pulled out his gun as he exited the car. Jack remained seated for another heartbeat before following him.

"Come on, sir, work to do," Ianto added, deftly picking the lock of the building to let them in.

_You don't get it, Ianto,_ Jack thought as they rode the lift to the top floor. _This thing with Gwen, it was always the fantasy, the ideal. Just some harmless flirting. With you — with you I have the reality. I learned that this year. Now I just need to find a way to tell you. _

Resolutely, Jack plastered his usual grin to his face and turned on the flirting, hoping there weren't too many cracks in his mask. When Ianto interrupted his rambling to bring them back to the task at hand, he decided to change tactics, to try something he hadn't tried in thirty-odd years. Something he'd promised the hallucination of Ianto he'd do when he got back, though he wished it were a better time, not on a mission, when they could really look at each other and have time to talk things through. He asked Ianto out on a date.

***TW TW TW***

Ianto's brain was working in overdrive, between searching for the canister, listening to Jack's rambles with half an ear, and trying to sort out his complicated feelings towards the man now that he was back. When he saw Jack and Gwen talking on the CCTV feed, all he could feel was anger. _And jealousy,_ his subconscious reminded him.

He hadn't minded when Jack corrected the "I came back for you" that was clearly directed at him with one directed to the whole team. He knew Jack cared about the team, that he felt that they were family. The brief moment of _upset_ when Jack changed his sentence to include the others did little to dissipate Ianto's joy at having Jack back, at having Jack confess that he'd come back for him, for _Ianto._

He just couldn't show Jack how he felt with the others there, not after how they'd been treating him like spun glass the past few months, always asking if he was OK, trying to get him to talk about Jack, making him eat, and berating him for staying at the Hub in Jack's bunker _(just in case)_ almost every night. He'd tried to tell them that being in his flat made him feel like he'd felt when he lost Lisa, angry and lonely, unable to cope, with no Jack to help him through it this time. They hadn't understood, even Tosh, who he thought of as his best friend. He kept his bland mask in place and didn't react to Jack's declaration.

Then he'd seen the look between Jack and Gwen in the corridor and started to doubt. Had Jack really meant to say it to Gwen, and settled on Ianto simply because the others were there? Because his relationship with Ianto was out in the open after that one kiss? The surprise and disappointment on Jack's face when he discovered Gwen's engagement ring had pierced Ianto's heart.

_Jack still wants her, _his traitorous mind whispered. _He never promised fidelity. He can't promise fidelity. He's not even able to do it. He picked you because you seduced him so skillfully, because you needed him and this job. You used him for Lisa, just as he's using you as a substitute for Gwen. _

_It's not like that! _he shouted back. _Jack needs me. He trusts me. We moved on. We figured things out. We talked, and courted, as much as he's able to. _

_Yeah, right, _his subconscious taunted. _He wanted sex again. He's playing you, again, and you're falling for it. He always wanted Gwen, from the moment he first saw her. You know it's true. You watched the "weapons practice." He touched her like he touched you. _

_That's what he always does. He did it to Owen, for God's sake! He never shagged her. He didn't tell her the things he told me. I know it. _

_But he loves her. He just fucks you. _

_In the car, _Ianto argued. _In the car, he said he could be monogamous. He said he could do it for the right person. Maybe that was his way of saying I'm the right person? He's not exactly good at talking about emotions, is he? He was so backwards and awkward about asking me to stay overnight with him, remember? _

_He'll never be what you want. He'll never take you on dates, dance with you at someone's wedding, call you his lover. All you'll ever get from him is blowjobs in the archives and Weevil guts on your suit. _

_I've missed him so much! There's got to be something left, something to salvage…_

The change in Jack's voice broke Ianto out of his internal argument with himself.

"While I was away," Jack began, his tone hesitant, as if he didn't know what he was going to say, or what to expect as a response. If anything, he sounded nervous. "While I was away, I was thinking, you know, after all this is done—" Jack paused significantly, then continued in a slightly stronger voice. "—Dinner, a movie…"

Ianto straightened and put his hands on his hips, daring a look at Jack. "Are you — asking me out on a date?" Ianto asked, confused. Of all the things he expected, this was not one of them. No, he expected to be grabbed forcefully after every one else had left and fucked senseless on the cold concrete floor of the Hub before being dragged down to Jack's bunker for another round or two, not anything resembling _feelings_ or _actual dates._ Jack had been so adamant about casual, and Ianto didn't expect that to change, despite what Jack had started to say before he disappeared about not wanting to keep their relationship secret.

"Interested?" Jack countered, raising his eyebrows in a suggestive gesture that set fire to Ianto's blood whether he wanted it to happen or not. He turned away hastily to keep Jack from seeing his blush.

"As long as it's not in an office," Ianto answered, pleased beyond belief that Jack hadn't denied that he asked Ianto on a date. "Some fetishes should be kept to yourself," he added, much quieter. The angry, jealous voice in his head quieted. He made a comment about Jack being good on roofs as he sent him away, remembering a summer night when they'd shagged on top of Jack's coat on the roof of the Millennium Center.

"By the way," Jack said, his hand on the fire doors as he hesitated again before leaving. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes," Ianto answered quickly. "Yes," he repeated, almost a whisper. _You see? _he demanded of himself. _He just asked me out! He *can* do more than just shagging. I knew it. And he picked me to ask, not her. Maybe he *is* capable of more, like he said. Maybe I need to give him a chance. Maybe I need to see where this can go before I make any big decisions. _

_And he looks so tired, _Ianto thought after a few minutes of fruitless searching. _He looks like he's seen a lot on the last three months, like he's lost something very important. _


	57. Chapter 57: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, pt 2

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 57: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, part 2**

A/N: Warnings for sex, mentions of violence and Jack actually talking about feelings... you'll like it. I promise! ;-)

.

"Gwen, room 302. Tosh, room 304. Owen, room 511. And you're room 925, sir," Ianto said as he handed out small envelopes with hotel keycards inside. They stood in the lobby of a five-star hotel Jack had volunteered to pay for for all of them, declaring that they needed some R&R after the incident with "Captain John Hart."

"Ok, it's gone five now, and checkout tomorrow is at —" Jack broke off to look at Ianto questioningly.

"Noon," Ianto supplied with a small smile.

"— noon. I expect everyone back at the Hub by one. Ianto, you can arrange for lunch?" Ianto nodded and Jack continued. "Room service, spa treatments, restaurant, you name it, enjoy yourselves."

"Jack, can I call Rhys?" Gwen asked as they headed for the elevators.

"No, sorry. We're trying to avoid ourselves, remember? That means avoiding boyfriends, too."

"But you've got —"

"Lift's here," Ianto announced, holding the door for everyone as he pressed the buttons for their floors, adding an eight for himself. Jack raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. The rest of the team carefully avoided looking at either one of them as the tension in the air built.

Jack watched in silence as the girls got off at the third floor, giggling to each other about what kind of spa treatments they wanted. Owen left next with a slap on the back for Jack, and a rough "Thanks, mate." At the eighth floor, Ianto ignored the open door and waited calmly for Jack's floor, stepping out beside him when they arrived.

"You're coming with me?" Jack wondered.

"I thought you'd invited me on a date, sir," Ianto replied, struggling to maintain his cool. "Room service, cable tv, jacuzzi tub, king-sized bed. Sounds like a date to me."

Jack hesitated at the door. "I meant a real date. You know, out there." He waved vaguely in the direction of the window at the end of the hall. "My treat, not Torchwood's."

"Maybe I should update the order of activities. Jacuzzi, bed, then food and tv?" Ianto suggested. "Or bed, jacuzzi, bed again, food?"

"That sounds great," Jack said, his voice far away.

Ianto slipped the keycard from Jack's unresisting hand and opened the door for him.

"Knowing our lives, I'm not sure when we'll have time for a real date, though I _do_ want to go out with you. Let's take advantage of this while we can, yeah?"

"Yeah," Jack echoed, slipping around Ianto to walk into the room, trailing his hand gently along Ianto's arm as he passed him, igniting the fire that had been simmering in Ianto's blood ever since he first heard Jack's voice the day before. "Ianto, we should talk—"

Ianto pulled Jack around, pushed him against the closed door and kissed him hard. Jack gasped harshly. "Ianto —" he tried again.

"Sex first," Ianto growled, already hard and full of need. "Talk later." He pushed the greatcoat off Jack's shoulders and spared a moment to shuck his own suit jacket. "Three months is a _very_ long time when I'm used to every day." He reached for Jack's cock, shoving his tongue past Jack's lips and teeth, demanding everything all at once as his other hand pulled at his tie to loosen it.

Suddenly, Ianto was lying face down on the floor, Jack's knee pressing into the small of his back, Ianto's hands held painfully behind him in Jack's iron grip, and the barrel of Jack's Webley tight against the back of his head.

"What the fuck! Jack?"

"Who are you?" Jack demanded.

"Ianto. I'm Ianto."

"Let's try this again. Who the fuck are you?" Jack pressed the gun harder into Ianto's scull.

"Jones. Ianto Jones," Ianto shouted. "We caught the pterodactyl together, remember? I make you coffee and do your dry cleaning. We shag. We care about each other in this weird, fucked up way we've never actually defined."

"How am I supposed to believe that?" Jack growled. "Ianto wouldn't touch me like that."

"Of course I would! We do angry sex all the time. We did it for weeks after Lisa, before we could actually talk about things. All you have to do is use your safeword, Jack. You don't have to threaten me like this."

"If you're Ianto, you should know. You should know not to touch me like that," Jack panted. "Not after what happened."

"Jack, you've been gone three months," Ianto pointed out, trying to relax his tensed muscles. "We haven't had a chance to talk. How am I supposed to know what's happened to you?"

"You should just know! You should just —" Jack choked on a sob. "You should —"

"Jack, let me up. Please. I won't hurt you. ok? I won't play rough, ok?" Ianto felt the gun against his head shift as Jack shuddered with tears above him. "If you won't let me up, at least put the gun down," Ianto begged, slipping into a sing-song voice he used with scared animals and young, frightened children. It worked with a pterodactyl. It should work with Jack.

Jack's fingers around his wrists loosened, and Ianto shifted slowly. "Don't worry, Jack, I'm not going to do anything. I'm just moving my arms, ok? I just want to put them over my head, ok? That's safe, right? I won't touch you. Good, now, can I roll over so we can look at each other?" Reluctantly, Jack allowed Ianto to roll over so that he was sitting astride Ianto's hips, ignoring Ianto's erection that was even now fading at the sight of a loaded gun pointed at his face. The gun remained between them, steady.

Their eyes met, and Ianto saw a depth of pain in Jack that he never would have expected for such a short time away. Tears coursed down Jack's cheeks. Whatever had happened to him during the past three months, it had almost broken him. No, it _had_ broken him, Ianto corrected. He'd picked up the pieces and moved on, but the carefree Captain Harkness he'd seen the past few hours was a shell, a persona he threw on like a mask, and his mask was crumbling. Ianto knew about masks. He knew Jack's masks, but this was different, more brittle.

He softened his gaze, trying to convey comfort and support with his limited empathic ability. "Jack," he whispered, filling the name with all the emotions he'd been keeping from himself, from Jack, from everyone, for fear that they wouldn't be acknowledged, let alone reciprocated. Now, he didn't care. Jack needed to know how he felt, even if he couldn't say the words. "Jack."

.

Jack broke, again, as he stared down the barrel of his gun at the terrified face of his lover. Horror at his own actions filling his eyes, he threw the gun from his hands. He climbed off Ianto and backed away. Ianto found him sobbing in the corner, on the floor, curled into a ball against the wall with his knees pressed against his chest and his head on his arms.

"What have I done?" Jack demanded of himself. "I'm a monster." He didn't react when Ianto knelt beside him and took him in his arms, stroking his arm gently. "I'm a monster," he repeated dully. "I'm a monster."

"No, Jack, you're not a monster," Ianto murmured, kissing the top of his head.

"You called me one, once."

"I didn't really know you then."

"I'm worse. I'm worse than a monster. I'm worse than a Cyberman, worse than a Dalek, worse than the Master. At least he was crazy. What's my excuse?"

"Jack," Ianto said, holding Jack tighter. "You're not a monster." Almost reluctantly Jack relaxed into Ianto's arms.

"I held a gun to your head. Again. I promised I'd never do that again, and I did it. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok, Jack. It's already behind us, yeah?" Ianto took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'll be here to listen when you're ready to talk, ok?"

"I need a bath. An honest to goodness bath."

"You're changing the subject," Ianto pointed out.

"I had a shower before I left the TARDIS, but it was the first one in over a year. Being hosed down doesn't count. I need a bath."

"A year?" Ianto asked as he helped Jack stand.

"It's been a year for me," Jack explained tiredly. "I need a bath," he repeated.

"Come on, then, sir," Ianto said, falling into the butler persona that was so comfortable when things felt out of control. He put an arm around Jack's waist to help him up and led him to the bathroom. "I'll draw you a nice, hot bath, then we can figure out what we want to do for the night. Are you hungry?"

Jack sighed. "I've barely eaten in a year, too. Just mush. I don't think I can eat much."

"I'll order something appropriate while you soak."

"Better yet, join me," Jack suggested as he stripped. "That is, if you still want to," he said hesitantly. "I'd understand if you didn't. I'm not— I'm not much company right now, but it's been so long since anyone's been nice to me, or touched me without wanting to hurt me..." Jack trailed off, staring into space as he sat on the edge of the tub. "It might be nice…"

Ianto cupped Jack's cheek in his palm and stroked it with his thumb. Without saying anything, he bent and kissed Jack's lips gently. He realized suddenly that all his anger from before was gone, replaced by a need to care for Jack, to heal him. _I've already forgiven him for leaving, _Ianto thought to himself, only slightly surprised. Aloud he said, "I'll be there in a moment." As Jack watched, Ianto gathered Jack's clothes and stuffed them into a plastic laundry bag. "I'll just get these laundered for you."

Settling into the bath behind Jack a few minutes later, Ianto put his arms around his captain and held him close. "I sent my clothes away, also. Won't be ready for a few hours."

"We'll have to find a way to fill the time," Jack commented, the usual flirtation falling flat, the words said as if by rote, simply because they were expected of him.

"Only what you want, Jack," Ianto said, nuzzling Jack's neck and kissing behind his ear. "I'm not making that mistake again. We don't even have to do anything, not if you don't want to."

"I want to," Jack whispered. "But is has to be slow and gentle," Jack murmured after a minute, leaning back against Ianto. "That's what I need now. To remind me there's still goodness in the world." He rested his head on Ianto's shoulder.

"Your year must have been pretty rough."

"872 deaths in 367 days. The first was an accident, the second by choice, the rest were murders."

"Shit. You were tortured." Ianto did a quick calculation in his head. "That's more than twice a day!"

"It was torture in more ways than one," Jack agreed. "The pain I could deal with. The rape I could manage. I already have boxes for those, from past stuff, so building more won't be too difficult. Even the drugs weren't so bad, when it came down to it. It was the psychological stuff that was the worst of it. It'll take a lot longer to rebuild those boxes. And some I'll have to build from scratch. I can't talk about it, yet."

"Take the time you need."

"For now, just hold me."

"For as long as you need," Ianto promised. Jack closed his eyes and drifted.

Twenty minutes later, Ianto kissed Jack awake and encouraged him to shower. Jack accepted Ianto's offered massage and stood in the shower stall while Ianto rubbed soap over his back, then worked his thumbs into the tight muscles of his neck and shoulders. Jack sighed in pleasure as a knot released. His body responded to Ianto's touch, becoming aroused naturally for the first time in over a year. He moaned softly. Without realizing what he was doing, he pressed back against Ianto's hips briefly.

"It'd be even better on the bed," Ianto murmured, clasping Jack from behind and pressing their bodies together, his erection rubbing against Jack. He kissed along Jack's shoulder and down his back.

"You just want to — oh." Jack broke off when one of Ianto's hands found his cock, not stroking, just holding him. It felt secure, somehow. Ianto moved his other hand to cup Jack's balls, again, just holding them. Jack breathed a sigh of contentment at the unfamiliar feeling of comfort. They stood like that for nearly five minutes as Jack closed his eyes and leaned against Ianto, relaxing in a different way than the massage. "Yeah, bed's a good idea," he finally murmured, ready to take things to a different level. Jack turned in Ianto's arms and kissed him greedily.

"Remember, I _am_ your sex therapist, sir."

"Just take it easy on me," Jack reminded him. "I can't bottom yet."

"Whatever you need,"Ianto murmured. "I'll take care of you as best as I can."

In bed, they made love slowly, kissing and caressing and getting to know each other's bodies again for hours before quickening their pace. Jack buried himself in Ianto. He came almost instantly, overwhelmed by the pleasure of being encased in Ianto's heat after so long, embarrassing himself, but Ianto reassured him with whispers and endearments and more kisses. Soon rejuvenated, Jack rolled onto his back and Ianto rode him until both orgasmed.

They remained in that position, Jack's softening cock still inside Ianto as they gazed into each other's eyes. Not breaking eye-contact, Jack scooped up a fingerful of Ianto's cum from his stomach and popped it into his mouth, sucking on his own fingers. His eyes glazed in pleasure at the taste. Ianto smiled, bending down to kiss him.

"That has to be one of the sexiest things I've ever seen," Ianto said with a throaty laugh.

"We aim to please," Jack replied, smiling.

"You sound a little more like yourself," Ianto said after a few minutes of just kissing and cuddling in each other's arms.

"I missed you, Ianto. I missed _this_," Jack murmured against Ianto's skin.

"This?" Ianto asked.

"This easy intimacy between us," Jack clarified. He nuzzled Ianto's neck and took a deep breath. He sighed in pleasure. "You know, after sex but before we fall asleep or have to get up, when we're just here, together, enjoying each other and what we've just done, not thinking about anything, not needing to do anything, or say anything." He paused. "I messed up before I left, and we lost out on weeks of it."

"Jack, I forgave you for that back then. And I've forgiven you for leaving. I knew you'd have to go after him, especially after all you've shared with me. I just wish you'd gotten back sooner."

"It grounds me, to have these moments," Jack admitted. "You ground me, keep me on track, help me. With you, _ashe'ha_, I can let the mask down, sometimes."

"Only sometimes?"

"You know more about me than anyone else in the entire universe, except maybe the Doctor. And it's a toss-up between you two. Soon, it'll be you, no questions asked. Once I can talk about last year, that is. He knows what happened, but we'll never be able to talk about it." Jack's expression clouded briefly.

"That means a lot to me, Jack. For a while, well, most of the time you were gone, I worried that you wouldn't come back. I hoped you would, but I worried."

"You did?"

"Well, you didn't exactly leave a note, or text, or anything. I had to break into your rooms off your bunker to even _find_ File 42 to have an idea of what was going on. I knew you were chasing the Doctor. The others might not have figured it out so quickly, but I was at Torchwood London. I know enough about who he is to fear that you'd want to be his Companion again. And we betrayed you. _I _betrayed you."

"I forgave you for that long ago," Jack whispered. "It wasn't even your fault! I thought that kiss in the middle of the Hub would've told you that." He paused for a moment, debating his next words. "I might have to go with him again," Jack said solemnly. "It might be in your lifetime, even. But if I do, I promise I'll come back."

"Jack, you don't have to —"

"Yes, I do. I had a lot of time to think during that alternate timeline, that Year That Never Was, and the conclusion I came to is that I need you. I need you in my life, in my bed, beside me, behind me, with that quick wit and a cup of coffee always at the ready. I'm serious about you."

"What are you saying?" Ianto whispered.

"If you want me to, Ianto, I'll only sleep with you. I'll make it official. I'll willingly put aside my option for someone else. I'll call myself your lover, and take you on dates and do whatever I can to make you happy."

Ianto blinked in surprise, his mouth working silently as his mind tried to keep up with what Jack was saying. Jack saw the confusion in his eyes and touched his cheek gently before kissing him.

"Think about it," Jack said. "I can't stop flirting. You know that. But I'll keep it to that."

"How far would flirting go?" Ianto demanded gently.

"How far do you want it to go? Or, more precisely, what's the stopping point?"

"You want me to answer that? Make up something?"

"If we do this, I want you to be comfortable."

"I need to think," Ianto said, overwhelmed by all the emotions in his head and heart.

Jack smiled and kissed his forehead. "Of course. In the meantime, do you think the restaurant is still open? I seem to have worked up an appetite." He leered in his usual way, and Ianto knew he was feeling better, though the mask wasn't perfect.

"It's almost ten," Ianto said, turning to look at the clock on the bedside table. "The restaurant closes at eleven, but we can have room service until one."

"Let's go to the restaurant. Are our clothes clean yet?"

Smiling to himself at Jack's rapid mood swing, Ianto got up and put on a hotel bathrobe. Their clothes were outside their door. "Quick shower and then we can go down. What do you say?"

Agreeing, Jack climbed out of bed and dashed to the bathroom, a comment about going down on his lips.

"By the way, how did Gwen end up in charge?" Jack asked as they rode the elevator down to the restaurant. "Did you pick her?"

Ianto frowned briefly. "I didn't pick anyone." He paused and looked at Jack, gauging his mood. "I didn't feel confidant that they would listen to me, I didn't think she deserved it, Tosh didn't want it, and Owen went back and forth about wanting to lead so often I didn't trust him with it, either. I took a little bit of each of your letters, made a forth one that promoted most of us, gave me sole power over conversations with the Crown, and signed your name."

"Huh," Jack muttered, thinking. "I suppose that wasn't a bad idea. Though I think you need to trust yourself a little more. You could lead them in my absence."

"I'm not sure about that."

"Well, something to think about. So I repeat: How did Gwen get to be in charge?"

"She's the only one who really wanted it and we were tired of her arguing with us all the time. It seemed easier. Owen still managed Field Operations, and I did what I usually do, but she took over the meetings and deciding which cases to take."

"Ah."

"That's really all there is to say about it. I wrote a report, of course, which is buried somewhere in your inbox."

Jack nodded. "All right. I'll read it when I get a chance." The elevator doors opened with a quiet chime. "Now, then. Enough shop talk. Time for that date!" he enthused.

"You really mean it?" Ianto asked, bemused. "You want to date me?"

"I'm going to do everything in my power to prove to you how serious I am, Ianto Jones," Jack responded. He grabbed Ianto's hand possessively and flashed a huge smile at the hostess. "Table for two, please."


	58. Chapter 58: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, pt 3

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 58: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, part 3**

.

Owen, Tosh and Gwen sat at the bar drinking and telling stories when Owen noticed Jack and Ianto at a private table across the restaurant.

"Oi, look at that! Bloody wanker. Probably shagging already."

"Who's doing what, now?" Gwen asked, confused, looking around.

"Ianto and Jack," Tosh said, gesturing with her wineglass. "Looks like a date to me."

"They don't do dates," Owen muttered.

"Yes, they do," Tosh hissed. "They just don't _call_ them dates."

"Dates? Are Ianto and Jack seeing each other?" Gwen demanded. Owen rolled his eyes and Tosh giggled. "Oh, wait, Jack kissed him, once, didn't he?"

"You're so oblivious," Owen muttered. "We spelled it out for you back then! Even Ianto kind of admitted it, and he's so private, he wouldn't tell anyone anything about himself. Haven't you noticed him pining for Jack these past months?"

"They've been together almost as long as Ianto's been with us," Tosh explained. "Off and on."

"It's just shagging, though," Owen quickly added. "The captain's not one for romance."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Tosh said, motioning over again.

At the table, Jack captured Ianto's hand and kissed his fingers, causing a blush to spread across Ianto's face. He snatched his hand back. They both leaned forward as Ianto whispered something. Jack laughed and leaned back again, picking up his wineglass. The sound of his laughter floated over to them.

"Well," Gwen said, getting to her feet. "Time to find out what's really going on. You lot coming?"

Tosh and Owen shared a look before agreeing, Owen saying that it would be Gwen's fault if Jack got really mad.

"And then he said, 'why are you taking off your clothes?' So I said —" Jack interrupted himself as he noticed his team surround the table where he and Ianto were enjoying their late dinner. He noticed Ianto's relaxed smile falter and his own shoulders stiffen. "Didn't I tell you to go enjoy yourselves?" he asked curtly.

"Free alcohol on Torchwood, you bet we are," Owen said with a swagger, holding up his glass.

"She made me come," Tosh whispered, indicating Gwen, who didn't hear her because she was so focused on Jack.

"Who were you taking your clothes off for?" Gwen asked bluntly.

"The Doctor," Jack replied, his eyes sparkling.

"You shagged the Doctor?" Tosh squeaked. "Wow. I met him once. Didn't know that's who he was at the time, but he was a looker."

"He didn't shag the Doctor," Ianto growled.

"Jealous, Teaboy?" Owen wondered, sidling up to Ianto and needling him instinctively. "Wish you had Harkness all to yourself?"

"I do have him all to myself," Ianto declared, sitting up straighter and glaring at Owen in challenge. "I repeat my question from last year. Perhaps it's you that's jealous that I got him first."

"Boys, boys, there's enough of me to go around," Jack said, smiling his megawatt grin. "But in all seriousness, I'm off the market, as Ianto's said." He waved dismissively at Owen. "Now run along and drown your sorrow on Torchwood's tab."

"Off the market?" Tosh asked, glancing first at one man, then the other.

"Yep. I'm just with Ianto," Jack said firmly, covering Ianto's hand with his, ignoring Ianto's protest at the affectionate display in front of the others. He turned deliberately to Gwen, staring her down.

"What?" she asked, her eyes growing even wider than they'd been at the bar.

"You need to stop pining for me, Gwen. You have Rhys. I have Ianto. I was going to tell you that before I left."

"But, I don't understand…"

"All you need to know is that I'm with Ianto. Now, if you all don't mind, we'd like to finish our dinner." He turned back to Ianto and smiled, cutting them off from the conversation. "Where was I?"

***TW TW TW***

Jerked awake suddenly by Jack's bloodcurdling scream, Ianto shook Jack roughly and pulled him into an embrace. "Jack, wake up. It's ok, Jack," he murmured, stroking Jack's hair and the back of his neck as he held him.

"Ianto?" Jack asked, tentatively, as if he didn't quite believe he was there. He panted in fear, trembling. "Are you real?"

"Hush, I'm here. I'm real."

"Oh, God, Ianto!" Jack wrapped his arms around the younger man and held as if for dear life. "Ianto, you're alive! Thank Goddess, you're alive!" Tears streamed down Jack's cheeks as they held each other.

"I'm here," Ianto repeated. "I'm fine, you're fine. It'll get better, yeah? It's just a bad dream."

Suddenly Jack's lips were on his, bruising him with the intensity of the kiss. One of Jack's hands curled in his hair, pulling him close.

"You're alive," Jack whispered between kisses, reassuring himself with each touch that it was true. The shag that followed was quick and desperate. Ianto didn't mind, sensing instinctively that Jack needed it hard and fast to fully recover from the nightmare. Afterwards he held Jack tightly and murmured soothingly in Welsh until Jack slept again.


	59. Chapter 59: Sleeper, pt 1

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 59: Sleeper, Part 1**

.

Jack's reentry into Torchwood seemed relatively peaceful on the surface, but Ianto knew differently. He saw Jack slump in his chair in exhaustion as soon as the others left the Hub, tired from holding his happy-go-lucky mask in place. He learned how to announce his presence by scuffing a shoe, or clearing his throat when coming up behind Jack, and that Jack always kept watch on the doors and windows. He watched Jack startle at every little thing, though it was just a subtle eye twitch that no one else ever saw. He saw the wonder/joy on Jack's face when one of the others walked in the cog wheel door. He noticed the increase in casual, affectionate gestures Jack gave him throughout the day, and how many more there were of them at night, when they were alone.

He held Jack every night as he screamed his way through nightmares so terrifying it usually took over an hour for Jack to stop trembling in fear. They were both glad that Jack never had the time to replace the small camp bed in his bunker before he left, because the enforced closeness seemed to calm Jack, and waking up wrapped up in Ianto's arms helped him get through the day. There was no question that Ianto would leave in the night.

He made love to Jack, because that's what it was, even if they still didn't name it. That's what it was, and that's what Jack needed. That's what he needed, too, Ianto finally admitted to himself. He needed it to be about love, no matter whether the pace was fast and rough, slow and passionate, or anywhere in between. Slowly, Jack got better.

Then Beth Halloran showed up in their lives.

"Jack, you're out of control," Ianto declared, putting a mug of coffee in front of Jack with more force then necessary. Jack looked up from his paperwork and glared in response.

"Why do you say that?" Jack asked in a deadly soft voice.

"You were mean and intimidating to Beth, then you practically tortured her with that bloody mind probe! Didn't you see how upset and uneasy everyone was? This is not you! You don't do things like this!"

Jack's eyes narrowed as the impassive 'captain' mask fell across his face. "Who are you to question my methods?" he snarled. "I did what I had to do to get the information we needed."

"But there had to have been another way! You didn't have to do that to her."

"There wasn't and I did. Now if that's all, get out," Jack ordered harshly.

"Jack!" Ianto gasped, hurt by Jack's tone of voice.

"Ianto, don't push me any farther today," Jack continued menacingly.

"But, Jack —"

"It's hard enough for me to keep it together on a normal day!" Jack shouted. "You, of all people, know that." His voice cracked. "But today's not a normal day and I need to be on top of my game. We have an alien threat that can destroy the planet if we're not careful, and I need to come up with a way to neutralize it." He scrubbed his hands over his face. "I appreciate your concern, but there's only so much I can do, OK?" he said in a milder voice. "I'll try to tone it down."

Ianto reached out and squeezed Jack's shoulder. "Anything I can do to help?" he asked hesitantly.

"Keep up the jokes and those little snarky comments," Jack answered. "It's distracting me a little."

"All right, then," Ianto murmured, nodding his head. He let his hand drop away from Jack and turned to go.

"Ianto?"

Ianto turned back at the hesitant tone in Jack's voice, so different from the angry one of a few minutes before. "Jack?"

"Thank you. For coming to me about this. I needed to know."

"All part of my job, sir," Ianto said with one of his 'perfect butler' smiles. Jack shook his head and shooed him out of the office, a look of fondness in his eyes.

"So? What did he say?" Tosh demanded as soon as Ianto reached the main work areas. Ianto sighed.

"He's really stressed about this threat, and he's 'off his game' a little. Those were his words, by the way. And he didn't sleep well last night, so he's too tired for his own good. I just gave him coffee with an extra espresso shot."

Tosh tilted her head and smiled slyly. "How do you know he didn't sleep well?" she wondered in a teasing voice. Ianto blushed and shrugged, but stayed silent. Finally, she nodded in understanding and turned back to her computer. "He's being good to you, though?" she asked, not looking at Ianto.

"Yeah," Ianto answered. "We had a real date two nights ago. He took me to that posh French place I've been wanting to try, then we went to a late-night sci/fi flick and spent the whole time dissecting the plot holes and unrealistic aliens." He grinned at the memory. "He even kept his hands to himself until we left the theater."

"He did? I'm surprised he had such restraint."

"Well, mostly." Ianto's smile widened as he leaned over to whisper in her ear. "We snogged all through the ending credits."

She turned back to him and gave him a quick hug. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Me, too," Ianto murmured. "Me, too."

***TW TW TW***

"Where's Jack?" Ianto asked as Gwen and Beth entered the Hub from the garage.

"SUV," Gwen answered curtly.

Ianto stiffened slightly. His eyes found Tosh's and she obediently pulled up the CCTV image of the car without him needing to ask. He nodded to himself and handed her the tray of coffees he was holding and disappeared down the hall to the garage, starting to jog once he was out of the main area.

Owen wandered over to Tosh and sat on the chair he carried with him, relieving her of one of the coffee mugs. "So, what's got his panties in a bunch?" he asked.

"Owen," Tosh hissed warningly, her eyes flashing in annoyance. "Remember what he said while we were waiting for Jack to revive after Abaddon? He watched Jack die in the SUV once!"

"Oh. Oh!" Owen choked briefly on his coffee. "You don't think —?"

Tosh pointed to the CCTV image of the SUV. On screen, Ianto was pulling Jack carefully from the car. It was clear that Jack was unresponsive. Ianto settled himself on the ground, leaning against the car, with Jack propped up against him. He wrapped his arms around Jack and lowered his head to Jack's shoulder. They all waited.

When Jack gasped back to life two minutes later, the first thing he did was clutch at Ianto's arms. Then he looked up at Ianto, a strange look on his face. Tosh activated the sound.

"_Ianto?" _

"_You OK now?" _

"_Yeah. I think so." _

"_Good. Work to do." _Ianto leaned over and kissed Jack quickly. Together they climbed to their feet.

"_The blasted sleeper agent ripped my coat," _Jack said with a pout. "_You'll fix it?" _

"_I'm more worried about all this blood on it and the SUV. You'd better go change if you don't want Beth to know about you. I'll clean up here. Just leave your coat on the rack and I'll get to it later." _

"_Thanks, sweetheart, for being here when I woke." _Jack cupped Ianto's cheek. Ianto smiled softly, turning into the caress and nuzzling Jack's hand with his nose.

"_I'll be with you as often as I can be for as long as I can be. You know that." _

"_I know, but I can still thank you for it." _

"_Go. I'll be up in a bit." _

Jack nodded, patted Ianto's cheek one more time and walked confidently away from the car.

Tosh and Owen exchanged a look.

"Jack calls him sweetheart?" Tosh asked.

"Will wonders never cease?" Owen muttered.


	60. Chapter 60: Sleeper, pt 2

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 60: Sleeper, Part 2**

****A/N: Good morning, my lovlies! Here's a long chapter for your enjoyment. I'm 2/3 of the way through writing To The Last Man, and am debating what to do with Meat. I have two versions in my head, neither of which are cannon-compliant...Any requests?

Warnings for violence (discussions of) and implied sex.

**.**

Ianto tapped on Jack's office door after everyone had left. Jack looked up from the report he was writing with a weary smile.

"Ianto?" Jack asked. "I'm almost done with this."

"Finish it tomorrow. It's not vital. Everyone's gone and I cleaned the wing mirror," Ianto said. "I was thinking, I'd like to sleep in my own bed tonight, if that's OK with you."

Jack frowned, disappointment clouding his expression. "Oh. Well… It _has _been three weeks straight you've stayed with me here. I guess I can manage on my own."

"I meant for you to come with me," Ianto added when Jack stopped talking. "I don't think you're up for a night alone yet, not after today. And I'd miss you."

Jack's shoulders sagged. "I don't want to upset your neighbors when I have a nightmare," he whispered after a long moment of silence. "I don't know if I'd feel safe away from the Hub."

Ianto knelt down in front of Jack so that he could look up at Jack. He took Jack's hands. "Listen to me, Jack. Everything will be fine. I'll be with you. I'll take care of you. My flat is safe, and the walls are pretty thick. No one will hear you. And if they do, so what? You're just having a bad dream."

"You shouldn't have to do that. Take care of me, I mean."

"I want to do it. I want to be here for you. You've helped me so much, and now it's my turn to help you."

Jack turned his head away, avoiding Ianto's eyes. They stayed like that until Ianto realized that Jack was crying silently.

"Talk to me," Ianto whispered. "What are you thinking? What's going on in that brilliant head of yours?" He reached up with one hand to turn Jack's head back to face him.

"I don't like you seeing me like this," Jack admitted. "I'm supposed to be strong, and here I am crying every other day."

"But you _are_ strong! And that's the beauty of what we're doing, Jack. I know how strong you are because I know _you_. When the day's over, I'm giving you the support you need to stay strong, to rebuild your confidence, to be the hero we all need during the day. You don't have to wear the masks with me. You don't have to be anyone other than yourself." He paused significantly and wiped away some of Jack's tears.

"And who cares if you cry all the time? You're getting over trauma. I cried just as much getting over Lisa, and you held me and helped me. You didn't judge me for it, and I'm not going to judge you. Cry as much as you need to."

Jack blinked rapidly, taking a turn at wiping at his tears. "You don't really know me," he protested. "No one knows me. _I_ don't even know me anymore. I've changed so much over the years. I've been so many people, lived so many lives."

"It doesn't matter," Ianto said quickly. "All that matters is that you're Jack and I'm Ianto, and I'm inviting you to my flat for the night. And I'll soothe you when the nightmares come, and you'll fuck me in the shower before we leave for work, and when we get back here, you'll be the Captain again, and I'll be the General Support Officer, but we'll know — we'll both know — that underneath all that, underneath the job and rank and shit we deal with day in and day out, we'll have each other to hold on to. _That's _what's most important."

"Jack's not my real name," he said sadly.

"It's been your name for long enough that it may as well be." Ianto sighed. "Focus, Jack. Come home with me."

"What about Sharon? She might see us."

"So? She's seen us before. She looked in on me a few times when you were gone. Not that I was at the flat much, but she made a point of coming by if she saw my car."

"What would we do without nosy housewives?" Jack asked with a small laugh.

"She's not nosy. She's just taken a shine to me. Maybe I remind her of her son, or something."

Jack leaned forward to kiss Ianto. "You'll drive?"

"Yeah. The SUV, just in case?"

Jack nodded. "I'll pull some things together."

***TW TW TW***

"Why'd you choose this place, anyway?" Jack asked as he and Ianto stood in the lobby of Ianto's building waiting for the lift.

"It's a decent neighborhood. It's near the Hub. I figured, if I succeeded in helping Lisa, and you didn't kill me for concealing her, I'd stay on with you. After the first few weeks, I knew enough of you to know you'd respect that I had the ability to hide something like that from you, that you might not kill me outright because you'd want those skills. And I wanted something she wouldn't mind staying in for a year or so."

"Are you leasing, or did you buy it?"

"You really don't know?"

"No," Jack said with a shrug. "I wasn't sure if you'd have bought it while I was away."

"I didn't buy it. My lease is up in a few months, though. The first one was temporary, month-to-month, then, once everything happened with the Cyberwoman and I knew I'd be staying, I signed for a year."

Jack nodded thoughtfully as they exited the lift. He repositioned the carryall on his shoulder. Ianto walked in step beside him, a small suit bag over his arm. Jack suddenly realized that he was smiling, thinking of how Ianto had climbed down into his bunker with him and packed three shirts, a waistcoat, matching trousers, and another pair of trousers into the suit bag, claiming that 'this way, you can decide in the morning what you want to wear.' He felt less brittle, remembering.

"What are you smiling about?" Ianto asked.

"Just the little things," Jack replied.

"Care to elaborate?"

Just as Jack was about to answer, the door beside Ianto's opened, revealing Sharon Barry.

"Ianto! Good to see you back. And, is that Jack?" she asked, startled to see him with Ianto.

Both men turned, Jack with the easy smile still on his face. "Good to see you again, Sharon," he said in his usual enthusiastic way, feeling much less forced than he would have earlier in the evening.

"You've been gone a while," she replied, looking him over.

"Work," Jack explained. "You know it goes. One thing leads to another and soon enough, it's been longer than you ever intended it to be."

"I thought that everyone returned to the same time when that awful year reverted," she murmured, clearly confused. "How is it that you're back so late? Do you have any idea how hurt Ianto's been, waiting for you?"

Jack stiffened. His expression darkened. "What do you know about it?" he asked, so coldly that Ianto became concerned. He stepped closer to Jack.

"My son was on the _Valiant_," she said, softly enough that they could barely hear her. "He told me what happened to you."

Jack's vision clouded as images played themselves before his eyes. Days, months, a _year_ of torture, casually mentioned in the middle of a hallway outside the door to Ianto's flat. _Ianto's _flat. A place that was supposed to be safe. A place he needed to be safe if he was ever going to break through the cycle of nightmares and get better…

Before he could do something he would regret, Jack shoved his carryall into Ianto's arms hard enough that Ianto staggered back a few steps, spun on his heel, and stormed down the hall towards the fire stairs.

"I can't do this, after all, Ianto," he called over his shoulder. "I'm going back. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bloody Hell," Ianto exclaimed, dropping everything to chase after Jack, not caring that the shirts would wrinkle. "Jack!" He reached Jack and stopped him, swung him around so they faced each other. "What on earth's going on?" he demanded, giving Jack a little shake.

"You said it was safe," Jack snarled, a small fission of fear under the anger in his voice. "You said she didn't know anything! How am I supposed to come here when UNIT's little watchdog is right there the next flat over? How am I supposed to feel safe with them so close?"

"I don't understand."

"Saxon had control of UNIT," Jack shouted. "He had control of UNIT, and they did things to me. _Her_ son was on the _Valiant_. That means that he hurt me. He killed me, at least once. It was a right of passage for them to kill me. Kill me, or get thrown off the upper deck, to die while falling to earth and get chopped up by the Toclafane on the way down until the streets ran red with bloody rain. You know how many took the second option? _Three_. And if he survived to tell her what happened, he _wasn't_ one of them."

"Jack," Ianto gasped, trying to understand what he was saying, feeling his heart breaking for how much Jack had been hurt. "Sharon wasn't there! She's not going to hurt you. Look, you don't even have to talk to her, yeah? Just come in the flat and I'll put on some tea and we can talk, OK?"

"She's a spy," Jack declared. "She's been spying on us. Did you know that? Retired from UNIT fourteen years ago, but never really left. Always on reserve, just in case. She's been sending them reports every month on what we do."

Ianto reared back, shock written clearly across his face. "What?"

"Once UNIT, always UNIT," Jack spat.

"Like Torchwood," Ianto answered. "Once Torchwood, always Torchwood. Even if your memory's been wiped, they're always keeping an eye on you."

Jack's expression softened slightly. "You can never truly get out," he mumbled.

"Right, and if her son's still with them, they have leverage over her. They can make her do it. Think, Jack. What was in those reports? Was she telling them classified stuff? Was she reporting everything we did? Did she tell them how many times we've shagged, or that we've been shagging?"

"No, they were pretty basic. Just your working hours, if she knew them, and when anyone would come over. She mentioned the Saab when you brought it home, gave the registration number, but anyone could find that out. Nothing about our relationship. Nothing about what she heard when you were on suspension. Come to think of it, she called it bereavement leave."

"See? She's giving them the bare minimum. It's not so bad, really. Now come inside," Ianto encouraged. He slipped his hand into Jack's.

Jack took a deep breath and let it out, willing away the tension and adrenaline. "I'm sorry, Ianto. I'm a wreck tonight. I've been off all day."

"Nothing to be sorry about," Ianto answered. "It's after hours, remember? Come on." He tugged gently on Jack's hand.

Sharon hadn't moved from her doorway when they passed. She opened her mouth to say something, but a scathing look from Ianto kept her from speaking.

"Don't make it worse," he hissed.

Once inside the flat, he herded Jack to the sofa and put on some quiet cello music he knew Jack liked as he made tea for them both. Jack visibly relaxed as the music soothed him. He extended his legs and stretched, his back popping. Ianto returned with mugs of tea and a plate of chocolate biscuits.

"You want to talk about it? That year?" Ianto asked softly. "I'm not asking, you understand. I'm not going to. But it's been weeks, and I worry that you'll get worse if you keep it all bottled up inside."

Jack sipped his tea before answering. "It's horrible, what happened. It might give you nightmares."

"I'd be willing to have a few nightmares if it helps you." Ianto put a hand on Jack's knee. Jack looked up from contemplating the spot on the carpet that seemed safe to look at.

"I'd be telling you things I'm not supposed to tell you. Things you can't share with anyone. If they find out I told you —"

"I'll say it again, I'll do anything to help you. I'll spend the rest of my life rotting in a UNIT cell if it gives you even a moment's peace to tell me."

"I wouldn't let them have you."

"Then that's your answer. Who else can you talk to? The Doctor? You said you wouldn't be able to talk to him. One of the UNIT people? Not likely, right? So that leaves me. Tell me whatever you need to. I'll listen."

Jack took another sip of tea and cradled the mug in his hands. "They tortured me," he said in a small voice. "For a whole year. They killed me over and over again, in more ways than you can imagine. They drugged me and made me think you'd joined up with them." He paused. "I figured out that it wasn't you when he raped me. Then they killed him in front of me because I told them off for that little plot."

"My God," Ianto breathed.

"That was only the first three months. 183 deaths in 90 days."

"And you remember all of it?"

"Every single one."

Ianto shuddered.

"He got more creative as time wore on," Jack added. "After my 303rd death, he brought Owen in. He'd captured him, controlled him, somehow, and Owen convinced me you'd killed yourself, then he killed himself in front of me. I was lost after that."

Jack put his mug down and curled up against Ianto, who held him in his arms and ran his hands up and down along Jack's back. Jack stared into space as he continued talking. "I drifted in my head for a while, then I got news that you were alive. When he brought me to the bridge to show off my 500th death to the whole world, I resisted. I told the world to keep fighting. I told them that we were stronger than him. That I would never give up. I was killed every hour on the hour for a week. He showed it on air, too. I shouted out my resistance every time as he killed me."

"That leaves 202 deaths in, what, three months? Four?"

"Closer to four months, I think. I'm not sure. My sense of time was a bit skewed. He got bored with me because I was hearing things, and he didn't like it when I talked to the voices. Only, it wasn't voices. Tosh and the Resistance implanted a transceiver under the skin behind my ear, and she was talking to me, encouraging me. She gave me news of how you rallied the Resistance, and that everyone was calling themselves Jones after you and my friend Martha, who's also a Jones."

Jack drew in a shaky breath. "Then they found Tosh. They tortured her and the others while I was forced to listen. My only hope was that you were still alive out there, somewhere, helping Martha, helping the Doctor, me, everyone. That you were still out there resisting his rule."

"What about Gwen?"

"Killed the second month, getting food for the base. He made me watch the video for three days in a row, with drugs coursing through my system, keeping me awake and focused on it."

"I, um, I'm not sure what to say," Ianto said softly, not wanting to interrupt, but feeling like he had to acknowledge what Jack was saying in some way.

"There's nothing _to_ say. It was horrible. But you were the leader of Torchwood, of the Resistance. You did anything and everything in your power to help the human race. Then —" Jack broke off, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Then I died," Ianto supplied when it didn't seem like Jack would speak. "I figured that part out your first night back, in the hotel. You dream about that every night."

"Then you died," Jack confirmed.

"They made you watch?"

Jack gave a harsh bark of bitter laughter. "Ha! Of course they made me watch. The Master wanted to break me, and short of killing the Doctor, which he wasn't going to do, that's the only thing that would have."

"Did it?" Jack nodded silently against Ianto's chest. "Oh, _ashe, _I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But I'm here now. You fixed everything, and I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," Jack mumbled. "I depend on that." They sat quietly for a few minutes, just holding each other before Jack spoke again. "I started hallucinating after that. Real ones. Not drug induced, not the transceiver. You came back to life, and tried to break me out, and they threw you over the edge of the ship. You said you were like me, that you couldn't stay dead. I was so happy!" Jack shook in Ianto's arms. "But it wasn't real. It couldn't have been real. It hurt so much to watch you die," Jack whispered. "Over and over again, I had to watch it, between the videos and my hallucinations."

Ianto tightened his grip on Jack, willing his strength into the older man. "That must have been so hard for you."

"To finish things off, the Master gave me a few minutes alone with the Doctor, to see if he could make me 'fun' again." Jack stuttered over the Master's choice of words. "Eleven months into it all, and I finally learned what his plan was. I wasn't sure if it would work, but I trusted him. I put myself back together, put everything into temporary boxes, and became the 'fun' torture victim that bastard wanted, to keep him occupied and away from the Doctor."

"Tell me about these 'boxes'. You've mentioned them before. They seem more, um, intentional than the compartmentalizing I do."

Jack pulled away from Ianto and stood. He disappeared into the kitchen and returned with the scotch and two glasses. He poured them each a glass, swallowed his quickly, poured himself another, swallowed that one just as quickly, and poured a third, which he started sipping as he sat with Ianto.

"One of my lives, before I met the Doctor, was as a Time Agent in the 51st century. Our mission was to travel through time and make sure that timeliness weren't disturbed. So that linchpin scenarios took place, or that historical artifacts weren't stolen. Kind of like Time Police. To become a Time Agent, we had to undergo years of training. They taught us to resist torture, to resist drugs, to resist sex. We also had to be able to use drugs and torture and sex to get what we wanted. We developed what psychic powers we had."

Jack finished his drink and put his glass on the table. He settled back into Ianto's arms.

"Part of the psychic training was to resist being read, to resist mind probes, to resist telepathic aliens and machines set on reading our minds. We learned to build walls around ourselves, keeping us safe from outside influences. But, as a last resort, we learned to break away parts of ourselves and hide them away. To put things in boxes, so that if our minds were breached, if we couldn't keep them out, those most important things would be safe. Well, safer. It's never completely safe. We'd set up a mnemonic to trigger the boxes to open.

"But while things are in their boxes, we're different. It's as if those things never happened. We're new people." Jack took a deep breath and rushed on. "When I was in 1941, I was under attack. I told you that before. It was strong enough that I knew at the start that I wouldn't be able to keep them out, so I created some boxes. They breached some of them. Torchwood, for example, since I'd only hidden certain parts of it, there was so much. They found out about my daughter and grandson."

"You have a daughter?" Ianto interrupted.

Jack tilted his head in confusion. "You know about them. You met — Oh, no, that was the alternate you. My daughter's name is Alice. She lives an hour away from here. Her son is —"

"Stephen? I saw the names under your blotter. I wasn't sure who they were."

"Well, now you know."

Ianto smiled grimly. He motioned for Jack to continue his story.

"Anyway, back in '41, I had two boxes that were never touched. The one for the Doctor, and the one for you."

"What does that mean?"

"Everything about you, about us, my feelings, thoughts, memories, hopes, everything, I put all of it in a box and sealed it away. I sealed it away, and I lost that part of myself. I knew I would get it back, but with you gone from my head, and the psychic attack getting stronger, well, I was able to be influenced."

"Was Captain Jack part of it? Tosh said you fell in love with each other."

"You have to understand, I wasn't myself. I was back to a younger, freer, more daring part of myself. A part that hadn't met the Doctor, that didn't know you. I was a bit of a rogue, a conman, though I remembered Torchwood and having a responsibility for my team. I don't know if I'd call it love, but there was an attraction. There was something drawing us together. I was fascinated to meet the man who's identity I stole. I wanted to know what kind of a person he really was. I wanted to know if I was doing good, using his name."

Jack stood and started pacing. "He was handsome. And he was scared. He was terrified at the feelings I was sparking in him. But he wanted it so badly. I know I shouldn't have kissed him. I know it was wrong. But I did it, and there's nothing I can do to take it back, or make it up to you, or anything." Jack stopped moving, his back to Ianto, his hand resting on the edge of a bookcase.

"I'm sorry, Ianto," he whispered. "I wouldn't have done it if I was myself. I don't want to hurt you like that."

Ianto stood and embraced Jack from behind. He kissed the spot behind Jack's ear that had become especially arousing to him since his return. "I forgive you, Jack. I forgave you when I sat down next to you on that bench."

Jack leaned back against Ianto, letting him hold some of his weight.

"I've been thinking," Ianto said. Jack turned in his arms, a question in his eyes. "You asked me to tell you how far flirting could go and have me still feel comfortable. And I think — I think kissing is my limit. A kiss or two is fine. More than that and I'd get upset. How does that sound?"

Jack smiled for the first time in hours. "So I can kiss someone, just as flirting, and you'd be OK with that?"

"No tongue," Ianto said, his eyes sparkling. He ran his fingers down Jack's cheek. "That's only for me," he murmured. "The rest of you, that's only for me. And no kissing exes at all," he added quickly.

"You have yourself a deal, Mr. Jones," Jack growled in that deep, sexy voice Ianto loved. He gasped at the passion in Jack's voice, melding his body to Jack's as they kissed. Jack licked along Ianto's lips, smiling as he did so. "So this is all for you?" Jack murmured, thrusting his tongue into Ianto's mouth when he willingly opened it.

Ianto moaned. He clutched at Jack's shoulders as his knees buckled from the toe-curling kiss. Jack laughed and lowered them both to the floor. Ianto rolled them so he was on top and began undressing Jack, peppering his skin with kisses. "Mine," he whispered, over and over again as he touched each part of Jack he uncovered. "Mine."

"Yours," Jack confirmed with a groan, laying back and giving himself to Ianto, needing to be taken care of and possessed and _entered _after all the turmoil of the day and the talk they'd just had. "Yours."


	61. Chapter 61: Sleeper, pt 3

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 61: Sleeper, Part 3**

.

Jack woke from a nightmare at half past four in the morning. Ianto held him, kissed him, murmured soothing words in Welsh, then fell asleep again when Jack was calm. Jack climbed out of bed and into the shower. He turned the water as hot as he could stand and washed the sweat and fear from his skin. Back in the bedroom he looked at the outfits Ianto brought the night before and selected the waistcoat combination, smiling, because he knew Ianto would appreciate him wearing it.

He knew better than to try to make coffee, so he settled for strong tea, which he took outside to sit on a bench in front of the building and watch the sky lighten. He'd finished his tea and was letting the nightmare dissipate farther when Sharon Barry sat down beside him.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," she said softly. "I shouldn't have brought it up the way I did."

Jack sighed, watching her face as she spoke. She sounded sincere and he decided to trust his instincts about her, the ones from before he left with the Doctor. He put an arm around her shoulders to keep off the early-morning chill. "I'm sorry for calling you a spy. I know you don't have a choice in doing it. I was just — overwhelmed that you'd bring it up in the open like that. I thought you'd at least invite me over for tea to talk about it."

"Is it just nightmares, or do you have other symptoms?" she asked with concern.

"Mostly just nightmares. I'm a little jumpy, a little nervous. But I get by. I've dealt with torture before, unfortunately. Ianto's being wonderful about the whole thing, and I'm getting better."

"How long have you known?"

"That you were a psych nurse with UNIT? I did a background check on everyone in the building when Ianto moved in. He doesn't know I did that, of course, but I do it for all new employees, if I'm worried about a security risk. He was Torchwood London, and I haven't trusted them in a long time."

"It was coincidence that he moved in next to me," she said. "I've been here since my husband died and I retired."

"I know that, too. Major Thomas R. Barry, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"Killed in 1994, Kuwait, medal of honor. Chasing a clan of Thraxians, if I remember correctly, under cover of the Gulf War. Saved most of his men but couldn't get out himself."

"That's right."

"What did your son tell you about The Year That Never Was, and why have you been allowed to keep those memories?" Jack asked, getting to the point they both knew was coming.

"He was part of the Resistance," she began. "But he had to prove himself to Saxon, so, yes, he killed you at one point or another. He never mentioned it directly. He was Level 5 Psi — telepathic. He —"

"Matthew!" Jack exclaimed. "He's Matthew?"

"Yes," she answered, a sad expression on her face. "He told me the basics of what was done to you and told me to look out for you. For you and Ianto, actually, though Ianto doesn't remember any of it."

"He melded with Ianto, once."

"It was two months, actually. They had to practice. They knew every corner of each other's minds. Matt fell in love with you, just knowing you through Ianto."

"I had no idea," Jack murmured. "I thought it was a one-off, so I wouldn't kill him when he was with a bunch of others when I attempted to escape."

"Matt was very good at what he did. But even with his shielding, he couldn't keep out the pain and terror everyone else was projecting. The conflict that so many felt at what they had to do to you to stay alive. He made it through that year, but when time reversed, he couldn't handle it that no one believed him, that no one remembered. He killed himself."

"I'm sorry," Jack whispered. "I'm so sorry," he repeated. He hugged her closer to him and kissed her forehead. "He was a good man."

"Thank you," she said with a sigh.

"You've been very circumspect in your reports," Jack commented after a few minutes.

"Well, honestly, who's business is it that you and Ianto are in a relationship? There are so many other ways for them to find out. I don't like having to do it, Jack, but in order to keep my memories of Matt, I have to continue. They held my ability to contact him over me to report on you before."

"I half expected you to comment on that conversation we had that first day we met, when I asked you to check in on him."

"Pah," she said, waving away a hand. "That was you testing me, and we both know it."

"You passed," he answered with a smile. "I'm glad you passed. It meant I hadn't read you wrong."

"Believe it or not, I care about you boys. You have difficult jobs, and if you can find a little happiness, you should be able to keep it as long as possible."

"Thank you, Sharon. If anything comes up, anything you need help with, call me, OK?"

"Thank you, Jack. Now, if you wouldn't mind answering, why did it take you so long to get back to Cardiff? Ianto was worried sick about you!"

"I know," Jack answered with a sigh. "I know he was. I'm trying to make it up to him." He looked up at the sky for a long moment. "I was with the Doctor," he finally said, answering her question. "He's not as accurate as we'd all like him to be around timing."

"That was the rumor around the UNIT bases," she said. "All right, then, you've got a pass on this one. But don't do it again, you hear?"

"Yes, Ma'am!" He stood and saluted. They both laughed. "May I escort you inside?" Jack asked, offering his arm. She accepted.

***TW TW TW***

Jack slipped back into bed with Ianto fifteen minutes before the alarm was going to go off, deciding that he'd rather cuddle than stay dressed. Ianto mumbled in his sleep and wrapped himself around Jack, pulling him in close. Jack smiled and kissed him awake.

"Ugh, someone's in a good mood this morning," Ianto muttered between kisses. "And he's brushed his teeth!"

"I wanted to maximize our time to cuddle," Jack responded. "Here, have a breath mint." He popped it into Ianto's mouth, knowing Ianto's distaste for morning breath. He licked along Ianto's neck. "Mmm, you taste good."

"Cuddle? Really?"

"Weeell, correct me if I'm wrong, but we agreed to be exclusive with each other last night," Jack responded. "Cuddling is just one of those perks that comes along with it," he added enthusiastically.

"What other perks come with it?" Ianto asked, still sleepy and enjoying Jack's attentions and wandering hands.

"Not sure yet. How about I make you breakfast in bed when we have a day off?"

"Jack, we never have days off together. You never take any!"

"Maybe I should start taking some?" he wondered aloud. "Would you like that?"

"Yeah," Ianto breathed.

"Good," Jack responded, his hands wandering lower. "Good," he repeated, kissing Ianto softly.

***TW TW TW***

"There's something else you need to know," Jack said into the comfortable silence of the SUV as he drove them to the Hub after a hasty shag in the shower and an even more hasty breakfast of toast and coffee.

"Oh?"

"The Doctor — he can't fix me. He can't make me mortal again. I'll be like this forever."

Ianto nodded. "I thought as much."

"He said —" Jack broke off, glanced at Ianto, turned back to the road. He made a quick decision and pulled the car to a stop along a convenient curb. Ianto looked over at him in surprise. "Listen, there are some things that might trigger me. That might send me back to the space I was in on the _Valiant._ You need to know what they are and how to get me out of there if it happens."

Jack chuckled slightly ruefully. "In fact, I'm kind of surprised it hasn't happened yet, but I think everyone's being extra careful of me still. Especially with this thing with Beth. Once I'm fully settled in again, it's more likely to happen."

"I'm listening," Ianto said softly.

"The Master — Saxon — he called me a freak. All year, him and his goons called me that, over and over again as they tortured me. If someone calls me that —"

"I think I see where this is going."

"If I go quiet —" Jack paused. "If I go quiet, I'll need reassurance."

Ianto pursed his lips, thinking. "What kind of reassurance?"

"Call me _ashe'ha," _Jack whispered.

"That's it?"

"That's the mnemonic I set. You calling me that. It'll put the bad space back in its temporary box."

"And it will calm you down, get you out of your head?" Jack nodded. "If it doesn't?"

"Let me jump from a building and be there when I come back."

Ianto exhaled suddenly. "Wow." He took a deep breath, let it out, took another one. "I don't know if I can watch you kill yourself."

"Well, we can hope it'll never get to that point."

"What if — what if I'm not around —"

Jack shook his head angrily. "We're not talking about that now. I'm good at this. I've done it more times than I care to count. I just need a few more weeks, maybe as much as two months, then I'll be fine again. You'll never have to deal with it, after that."

"Jack," Ianto said, undoing his seatbelt so he could face Jack. Jack motioned him to stay quiet.

"If I go angry I'll need to hit something, or shoot something. Something to reassure me I have power, that I'm not under their control. That I don't have to live with that kind of pain again."

"So, take you to the shooting range?" Ianto suggested.

"Yeah, that'd be fine. That's not a time to let me on a roof."

"Understood."

"The Doctor — He said —" Jack broke off again. He clenched his hands into fists in his lap, staring down at them. "He said that I'm a fixed point in space and time and that's why I can't die. He called me wrong, and said he can't stand to look at me. That there's something about how I am now that instinctively puts his back up, makes him want to get away from me, makes him feel sick. _That's _why he left me so long ago. He knew I was alive. He knew it, and left me because of what I'd become."

"Well, that's a load of bollocks," Ianto hissed.

"What?" Jack's head shot up to meet Ianto's eyes.

"For all you say this man is smart, he's also one of the stupidest people I've ever heard of." Ianto glared angrily at Jack. "Look, I know he was a mentor of yours, and you might even consider him a friend, but to me he's an arrogant, pretentious, conceited _child!"_

"What?" Jack asked again.

"There's nothing wrong with you!" Ianto exclaimed. "Nothing! I don't care who he is, but if he ever says anything like that again, I'm going to pound that ridiculous smile right off his face. He has no right to say that kind of thing to you. No right. So he's a little uncomfortable? That doesn't make you wrong. That makes him a heartless bastard to say something so hurtful to a friend, especially after _abandoning_ him for 150 years!" Ianto crossed his arms over his chest and huffed, turning his head to look out the window, still muttering angrily in Welsh.

"Ianto? You really think that? That there's nothing wrong with me?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," Ianto said, turning back to Jack and lowering his arms. He captured one of Jack's hands in his. Jack raised a skeptical eyebrow. "OK, so there are things that you do that annoy me, that really annoy me, if I'm being honest, but that's not who you are. That's just behavior. Who you are, the person you are, that's in here," Ianto continued, pressing his free hand to Jack's chest, over his heart. "There's nothing wrong with this. There's nothing wrong with you."

"I want to believe you," Jack said softly.

"So believe me."

"I —"

"It hurt, him saying that, didn't it?"

"More than you can know."

"I'll hold you tonight, when the nightmares come," Ianto promised. "And every night as long as we have together, yeah?"

Jack gave a tentative, watery smile. "Yeah," he agreed.

"Is there anything else I need to know before we face the others?"

"No. Just, thank you."

"My pleasure," Ianto murmured, leaning forward to kiss Jack. He paused. "Will you tell them?"

"No!" Jack exclaimed.

"It might be helpful. So they won't say things to trigger you."

"No!" Jack said emphatically. "I'm not telling them, and neither are you!"

"But —"

"No, Ianto. I can't do it. Not yet. Today's going to be difficult, because I said so much yesterday." Jack closed his eyes tightly, struggling against strong emotions. "But you're right. I did need to talk about it. I'm just not ready for them to know. They don't see me the way you do. They just see me as the captain."

"Hmm, if you look at it like that…" Ianto mused.

"I need to do my work before I can tell them, if I can tell them at all. I need to have my boxes ready and working." Jack opened his eyes. "I need you to trust me on this," he said intently. "I've dealt with more torture and trauma then you can possibly imagine, and I know how to make this work. I just need more time alone with you, to ground me as I do the work."

"Then perhaps we should get moving, and work on this more tonight?" Ianto suggested gently. "If I remember correctly, you have some paperwork on your desk I've been asking you for."

Jack smiled crookedly, puling himself back together. "Yeah. I think I do."


	62. Chapter 62: To the Last Man, pt 1

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 62: To The Last Man, part 1**

A/N: Next chapter... the big kiss! Watch for it. ;-)

And can anyone tell my why I can't have more than one ! in a row? Or how to fix it. Thanks!

.

Owen stumbled into the tourist office at half-past ten. Ianto, sipping his third coffee of the day and reading a magazine, glanced up with a small smile.

"Late night?" he wondered.

"Whatever," Owen muttered in reply. "I've got to go start defrosting Tommy. Tomorrow's the day."

"I've set out the usual equipment for you," Ianto said.

"Yeah? Thanks, mate. Any chance of a coffee?"

"Of course," Ianto said, glad that Owen was in a good mood, despite the hangover. He put his mug down and reached for the button to let them into the Hub.

"Hold on a sec," Owen said. He paused, glancing around the room before looking back at Ianto. "Listen, me and Tosh, we were talking last night, and, well, we think Jack's acting a little twitchy since he's been back. You know, like she did after UNIT, or you and me did after Lisa and Katie died."

Ianto wasn't sure what to say that wouldn't betray Jack's confidence, so he settled on a non-committal grunt.

"Is he talking to you? I don't want to know anything about what he says unless he tells me himself, but, as his doctor, I want to make sure he's at least talking about it. As his friend, well, I want to make sure he's not dealing with all that pain alone."

Ianto let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding, relaxing now that he knew Owen wouldn't push for details Jack didn't want anyone else to know. "He talks to me, a little," he admitted. "I know basically what happened. He doesn't give me details, and I don't ask. I don't want them. But, yes, he's talking."

"Well, good. He might be a cocky bastard most of the time and in love with being mysterious and secretive, but he's a good guy, underneath it all. I'd hate for him to be dealing with whatever it was alone."

"Thanks, Owen, for looking out for him. I didn't realize you noticed anything was different."

"He's good at hiding it," Owen explained. "Took me a month to figure it out, but after that stuff with Beth last week and how he reacted to it… I started paying better attention. I know what trauma looks like. I know how people react to it. We've all seen it. Well, except Gwen."

"She's Jack's special project, isn't she?"

"You got that right. At least he's stopped sniffing around her, yeah?" Owen paused and looked away from Ianto. He turned back. "Look, I never said, but, well, what I said before he left —"

"Owen, you don't have to —"

"I was jealous," Owen interrupted. "I saw how he looked at you and I was jealous. I haven't had amyone look at me like that since Katie. I don't know if I'll ever get it again, and I hated you for having it. But he looks at you differently, now. Even better than he did then."

Ianto smiled. "He does, doesn't he?"

"Hold on to it. That's my advise. Keep it as long as you can, because in this world, it's hard to come by."

"I will, believe me."

"All right, enough of all this emotions and feelings and bollocks. Coffee!"

Ianto pressed the button to let Owen into the Hub. "I'll be there in a minute. Just have to close out things here." Owen nodded in response and disappeared down the hallway to the lift. Ianto let out a breathy sigh and pressed on his comm link. "Jack?"

"_Ianto? What's up?" _Jack asked. Ianto could hear the grin in his voice. Jack had been in a good mood this morning, and it seemed that the mood had continued even without Ianto's presence and flirting in the main area of the Hub.

"You're not going to like it," Ianto said.

"_Tell me."_ Jack's voice shifted into his serious captain tone, one that brooked no argument or hesitation.

"Owen and Tosh have started noticing that you're different since you've been back. Owen just asked me about it." Jack remained silent. "I didn't tell him anything, but he's concerned."

"_Shit." _He could imagine Jack rubbing his hand over his face and rubbing his eyes in frustration. "_Hold on." _Through the connection, Ianto heard typing, then his own and Owen's voices as Jack replayed the CCTV footage of their conversation.

"Is it time to bring them in on this?" Ianto wondered.

"_No!" _Jack was firm. _"Not yet! We've talked about this before." _

"But they're worried about you."

"_I'll think about it, OK?" _Jack paused significantly. "_That's all I can do right now. After we've got Tommy re-frozen, maybe. I can't promise anything beyond that." _

"Well, _do_ think about it, please." Ianto shut down his computer and closed the tourist office. "I'm coming down to make Owen coffee. Would you like some?"

"_Can I get a kiss with that?" _

"No, Jack, not with everyone here." Ianto pressed the button to let himself into the corridor to the lift. "But we could meet at blindspot two after I get back from lunch with Tosh?" he suggested.

"_You're going to lunch with Tosh?" _

"Yeah, then we're going to get some clothes for Tommy. She's very excited to see him again."

"_Yeah, she's got a little crush on him. It's sweet, after all that stuff with Mary." _

"Just as doomed, though."

"_Try not to be so negative about it, Ianto. They'll have their day, once a year. Nothing's perfect, is it?" _

"True." Ianto entered the Hub and went immediately to the coffee machine, talking more softly in case anyone else was near enough to overhear him. "Can I ask you something?"

"_Sure." _

"Do you like coming to my flat at night?"

"_Yeah, yeah, I do. I like being with you." _

"Good. You're not nervous about Sharon anymore?"

"_I've had a few early-morning talks with her, before you get up. She's — She wants to hear about her son, and I want someone to talk to. And I know I can talk to you, so don't get jealous or anything, but she has an entirely different perspective. She was a psych nurse." _

"Good. But this is why I think you should talk to Owen and Tosh," Ianto muttered as he poured coffee. "Have more people who know, more people to talk to."

"_I have to be strong for them." _

"But you have to be human for them, too. Maybe them seeing that side of you will make the team stronger. Think about it."

"_I will. I promise." _

"You know, we've never even considered telling Gwen, have we?"

"_No. And she's by far last on my list. I'd tell Kathy Swanson or Janet before I tell her." _

"You used to be so close," Ianto protested. "Did something happen?" Jack paused, and Ianto could picture him fiddling with his pen. Ianto began distributing the coffee. Glancing up at Jack's office, he saw that Jack was watching him.

"_She — She hasn't noticed that I've toned down flirting with everyone but you. She still gives me sultry looks, and it's uncomfortable. She still sees me as the hero. Tosh and Owen have more nuanced views of me, though not nearly as deep as yours. They can get over me making a mistake and move on. She can't." _Jack paused again. "_And I'm beginning to wonder if her brand of humanity is too much for Torchwood. I've been thinking a lot about what happened with Beth, and how upset Gwen was afterwards. How long did we know her? A day? Two? And Gwen acted like it was the end of the world." _

Ianto grunted, surprised that Jack would notice those things. Perhaps he'd been underestimating his lover's attention to detail and the people around him?

"_She has a lot of heart, but sometimes it's too much," _Jack continued. "_And we need a cohesive team, which we can't have when she's questioning everything I say." _

"Well, that's something we can think about later. No need to dwell on it now," Ianto said, walking into Jack's office with the final two coffees. He handed one to Jack, who took it with a smile. "I'd rather see you talk to the others, anyway."

"I know," Jack muttered. "You tell me that almost every day! I'm starting to get annoyed."

"If I promise not to talk about it for a week, will you promise to think more seriously about it? Maybe you should ask Sharon's opinion."

Jack shrugged.

"Jack!" Owen shouted, barging into the office. Jack twitched in his chair, almost spilling his coffee. Owen rushed on, not noticing. "Tosh says there's a Rift spike this afternoon that's going to be organic, but I can't leave Tommy to defrost on his own, not with what happened last year."

"Ianto, want to come along?" Jack asked.

"Sure."

"Great, prep the SUV, add an extra med kit, just in case. I'm a good field medic, but without Owen we need to be extra careful."

"On it," Ianto said, slipping out of the room.

Owen eyed Jack for a minute before following. Jack sighed, wondering if Ianto was right.

"But there's never a good time, is there?" he asked himself. "After Tommy, maybe."


	63. Chapter 63: To the Last Man, pt 2

**Torchwood Files, Season 2**

**Chapter 63: To the Last Man, part 2**

A/N: For those who've been wondering, we find out what _ashe_ means today. ;-) Enjoy the chapter!

.

"And I wouldn't change that for the world," Jack said softly, intensely, his eyes locked on Ianto's.

Before Ianto's conscious mind could process the words, his subconscious felt the _love_ radiating from Jack as Jack lowered his mental shields. Ianto was across the small space and kissing Jack with what felt like months of pent up passion before he realized that he'd even moved.

_Jack loves me, _Ianto thought happily as Jack responded eagerly to the kiss. _And he practically said it out loud. God, to know he feels this way…it makes all the uncertainty worth it. Gotta tell him I love him, too — _

"Jack, I —"

"Ianto —"

They both broke off, neither willing to talk over the other. Jack chuckled.

"I love you," Jack said, not taking his eyes from Ianto's, cupping Ianto's cheek in the kind of affectionate gesture Jack had been doing more and more since he returned. He ran his thumb over Ianto's cheekbone.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Ianto blurted, totally unprepared for a verbal confession from Jack, despite the non-verbal one just moments before.

Jack blinked a few times, startled. "I love you," he repeated, almost cautiously.

Ianto slipped backwards, moving out of range of Jack's hand, his head spinning. "Twice," he muttered. "Twice."

"What are you talking about?" Jack asked, tilting his head in confusion, and, if Ianto were paying better attention, hurt.

"Twice. You said it twice. That means it's not a mistake. I didn't hear wrong. I didn't imagine you saying it. You meant to say it," Ianto babbled, running a nervous hand through his hair.

"Of course I meant it!" Jack exclaimed, standing so he would be on the same eye-level as Ianto. "I _mean_ it." Ianto had a brief glimpse of _sadnessrejectionresignation _before Jack's walls slammed back up, effectively cutting him off from Jack's mind. The _loveexcitementhope _of when he made his confession disappeared as if it had never been there at all. Even with all the practicing Ianto had been doing lately to develop his empathic abilities and mental shields, Jack was better than him, had a better psi rating and could keep him out when he meant to.

"But — but we don't — I mean, we've never —" Ianto looked away, uncomfortable for some reason he couldn't name. "I just – I didn't think we'd ever _say_ it. You know, with words."

Jack reached out and put a hand on Ianto's arm. "It's OK," he said softly. "You don't have to say it back. I just wanted you to know. It — it doesn't have to change anything between us. I don't expect anything to be different unless you want it to be."

"But why tell me now?" Ianto asked, still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Jack had actually confessed his love for him.

Jack shook his head and retreated, shoving his hands in his pockets. "There's never a good time to say it, is there? With our lives, with our jobs. We don't have time for dates, or vacations or nights just spent together without a care for anything else. There's always the next Rift alert, the next Weevil, the next emergency, the next bit of shit for Gwen or Owen to bollocks up. We've had a total of four dates, if we count the hotel and the two we didn't call dates but, in retrospect, probably were dates. If we don't count that, it's _one _date. And you don't tell someone you love him on the first date, do you? I might not be from here, but even _I _know that's not socially acceptable."

Jack sighed and raised his head to meet Ianto's eyes again. "I've been trying to figure out a good way to tell you ever since I came back. And with this thing with Tommy and Tosh… Tonight I decided that I – I didn't want to live another moment without you knowing," he finished hesitantly. "It's been a week since we decided to be exclusive. I thought — I thought it was time. Well beyond time, actually. I should've said it last week, but I was overwhelmed with everything else we were talking about."

They stared at each other for a very long moment. Ianto felt paralyzed, unable to break the look, unable to speak, unable to move, unable to give Jack the answer he so desperately craved. The answer that was on the tip of his tongue. The answer he'd wanted to give for a very long time but was suddenly terrified of saying out loud. Jack broke the tense moment, sidling around Ianto to grab his coat and pull it on.

"Well, I'll see you in the morning, then," he muttered, walking away hastily, not sparing another glance at Ianto. His body language screamed _rejection_ and _hurt _and _disappointment _with every step he took.

"Jack, wait!" Ianto called. Jack turned back, his hand resting on the button to open the cog door. "Where – Where are you going?"

"Doesn't matter, does it?" Jack asked sadly. "This wasn't exactly the response I was expecting." He snorted. "I guess I thought if you didn't feel that way, you'd at least —"

Ianto crossed the Hub in four quick strides to pull Jack into his arms, holding the older man tightly against his chest. "Jack, you daft sod, of course I love you, too!" he hissed in Jack's ear. "I just didn't expect you to say it, is all. I thought I'd say it and you'd tell me to shove off again, like you did before, because we didn't do things like feelings. I mean, we didn't used to. It's all so new, since you came back…" He clutched at the back of Jack's head with one hand, playing with Jack's hair. "I've been in love with you for months! Since well before you left. But you didn't want feelings between us, you didn't want anyone to know about us. You just wanted casual and made it abundantly clear at every opportunity. You told me not to love you, as if it's something I can control. I was already mostly in love with you then," he finished, tears threatening to fall.

"Oh, _ashe," _Jack whispered, his arms coming up to hold Ianto. "_Ashe, ashe'ha." _

"Jack?" Ianto managed, overwhelmed again as Jack's barriers crumbled, filling his mind with an intensity of emotion he never thought he'd know or experience. _Jack loves me,_ he thought. _He really and truly loves me. He loves me enough to face the rejection if I didn't feel the same way. _

"Beloved," Jack murmured. He kissed along Ianto's neck, brushed his lips over Ianto's ear. "_Ashe _means 'beloved.'"

Jack's soft words broke into Ianto's thoughts. He looked over to see Jack's eyes bright with tears. He reached up to wipe one away with his finger. "And _asha?"_ he asked, barely above a whisper.

"Love."

"_Ha'asha heh," _Ianto murmured. "I love you." Jack nodded, an endearingly tentative smile on his lips. "You've been calling me _asha_ and _ashe_ since —" He trailed off, unsure.

"Your suspension," Jack supplied. He rested his head on Ianto's shoulder. "When you told me about Lisa, when I realized what you'd done for her, every lie, every misdirection and untruth, all for her, well, I couldn't help but love you a little. For you to love so much — I couldn't help but love you then, even though it hurt more than anything that you'd been using me, that I was falling in love with a lie. You touched a part of me I thought was dead and buried."

"That night before Tanizaki came – you told me that night, didn't you? You said _ha'asha heh_ to me."

"I thought you were asleep," Jack explained. "And I knew you wouldn't understand. I just needed to say it once before you left me for her."

"I think I loved you back then, too," Ianto admitted. "I was starting to, anyway. But I couldn't have said anything. I couldn't give you more than I did, with the possibility of her getting better so close."

"I know," Jack whispered. "And I knew that then." He sighed and held Ianto closer. "I'm just glad I finally told you."

"_Ha'asha heh, Jack'ha," _Ianto whispered. "I love you, my Jack."

Jack's entire being relaxed at that. He raised his head from Ianto's shoulder to meet Ianto's eyes. "Make love to me, _ashe'ha," _he asked, a moment before their lips crashed together.

Somehow, they found their way to Jack's bunker, tearing off clothing as they went, leaving a clear path for anyone to see should they have been in the Hub.

After several hours of frantic lovemaking and whispered endearments and more confessions of love and the times they'd felt it, Jack and Ianto fell asleep, curled around each other in the tiny camp bed. Jack didn't have a nightmare that night.

Ianto woke early. He showered and dressed and was climbing out of the bunker to gather their clothes from the night before when the cog wheel door opened with its usual fanfare. He looked at his watch, realizing that it was 6:25, a few minutes before the 6:30 call Jack had told everyone the night before. Stepping to the door of Jack's office, he met Owen and Gwen's eyes. His cheeks flamed.

"You boys get up to some mischief last night, did you?" Gwen asked testily, toeing Jack's shirt which lay on the floor at her feet.

"Umm —"

"Just be sure you wipe the CCTV," Owen called, heading to the autopsy bay. "I don't want to lose my breakfast when I have to look at it later."

"Um, yeah, I'll just finish here and go do that," Ianto said, hurrying to gather the clothes.

"And make with the coffee!" Owen shouted.

"Yep." Ianto barely looked at Gwen as he picked up Jack's shirt. "Sorry," he muttered. "Won't happen again."

"Don't worry about it, love," Gwen said. "We all know you and Jack can't keep away from each oth—"

Just then Jack appeared in his office door, clad in trousers and a white t-shirt, his braces hanging down. "Ianto! Where's my gun?" Jack shouted.

Ianto rolled his eyes and handed Jack the weapon he'd already picked up as he passed him on the way to Jack's bunker to drop off the clothes. Grinning, Jack slapped his ass.

"Jack! Not in public," Ianto hissed, embarrassed.

"What? This isn't public. It's Torchwood!"

"Gwen and Owen are here, and Tosh and Tommy are due in a few minutes. Make yourself useful and wipe the CCTV from last night." Ianto paused. "I'll bring you a shirt."

"No good morning kiss?" Jack pouted, following Ianto back into the office.

"I kissed you roughly four hours ago. That was technically the morning," Ianto pointed out, disappearing down the hatch.

Jack sighed in defeat and threw himself into his desk chair. After a minute he got up to go to the computer behind him so he could work on the CCTV footage. Smiling to himself, he saved a copy to the usual folder and deleted the original from the main server. He never wanted to forget that night, the night they'd finally admitted that they loved each other. A shirt was pressed into his hands as Ianto kissed his cheek gently.

"Now try to behave, _ashe," _Ianto murmured softly against his skin. "We've got a big day."

"Poor Tosh," Jack said softly. "She'll be hurting for a while."

"We'll take care of her," Ianto promised.


	64. Chapter 64: To the Last Man, pt 3

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 64: To the Last Man, part 3**

.

"Ianto? Why haven't you spent any time with Tosh since we sent Tommy back?" Jack asked when Ianto brought him coffee mid-morning. "Aren't you friends?"

"Hmm, well, I don't want to leave you alone to go to hers for the night," Ianto replied, sounding embarrassed, sitting on the edge of Jack's desk. "Your nightmares are getting better, but if last week is any indication, you're not ready to spend a night alone. I was only out of bed for ten minutes and you went from nightmare to flashback!"

"You could invite her to yours," Jack suggested. "I'd bring my laptop and do some work in the other room to give you privacy."

"You think that would work?"

"As long as you end up in bed with me before the first nightmare hits." Jack paused and sipped his coffee. "We can tell her I have nightmares, and that's why I'm over there with you. We all have nightmares, after all, with our job. Besides, she knows we're together. The whole team does."

"It would be nice to spend time with her. She looks like she could use it."

"I might be recovering from trauma, but I'm not going to break. You don't need to avoid her because you're worried about me."

"I guess. I just — I don't want you to get upset because of it."

"Ianto, _ashe,_ I won't get upset because you want to spend time with a friend. It's good for you to spend time with friends. Especially one who knows what we do who you can talk to about all this without worrying about retcon or the Official Secrets Act."

"Yeah?"

"I care about her, too, and she's hurting. Invite her over. I'll cook tonight so we can all have dinner together before you two have your time."

"You won't be jealous if we get drunk and talk about men without you?" Ianto teased.

Jack's eyes brightened. "You'll talk about me? Should I plan to eavesdrop?"

"I won't talk about you if I know you're listening."

Jack pouted. "Well, worth a try. I'll put in headphones. I _do_ respect your privacy, you know."

"Jack, you're a brilliant boyfriend," Ianto whispered, leaning forward towards Jack for a rare _during work hours_ kiss.

"Boyfriend?" Jack asked, startled. "Is that what we are?" Ianto leaned back again.

"I thought so. Do you want me to call you something different?"

"No! I mean, I like boyfriend. Yeah, I'll be your boyfriend."

Ianto smiled, his cheeks stretching painfully and pleasantly at the size of it. "Good. I like it, too," he admitted.

Jack shot to his feet and kissed Ianto hard, grabbing his face in both hands to hold him in place. Ianto forgot where they were, forgot that it was the middle of the day, with their colleagues a few meters away through a glass wall. He put his arms around Jack's waist, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. He moaned softly into Jack's mouth, while Jack moved a hand to tangle it in his hair.

"You make me so happy," Jack whispered. Ianto pulled him even closer, so that Jack was standing between his legs as he sat on the desk. Jack growled when he felt the beginnings of Ianto's erection.

"Jack," Ianto panted. "We have to stop."

"You're the one who pulled me closer," Jack protested, continuing to kiss Ianto.

"I mean it!"

Reluctantly, Jack pulled back, breaking the kiss, though he didn't release Ianto from his arms. "I haven't had a proper boyfriend in a long time," he said. "I'm not sure exactly what to do."

"I've never had one," Ianto countered. "I think we just continue as we've been doing, yeah? Nothing really has to change just because we've actually named it."

"Boyfriends and lovers," Jack mused.

"Yeah."

Jack smiled, one of his secret, genuine smiles only Ianto saw. "Good. Now, go, invite Tosh over. Then, back to work. I need your budget report for Flat Holm by the end of the day."

Ianto answered Jack's smile with one of his own. "Yes, sir," he answered. He pecked Jack's lips and slipped out of the office.

***TW TW TW***

The unmistakable sound of a laptop falling to the floor and breaking woke Tosh in the middle of the night. As she struggled to consciousness, she realized that she was lying on Ianto's sofa, with Ianto himself asleep on top of her. His head rested on her chest. Glancing around quickly, she noticed several wine bottle shaped shadows on the floor and moonlight sparkling off the rim of a pair of wine glasses on the coffee table. Memories filtered into her consciousness.

_._

_Ianto asking if she wanted to talk at his, drinking glass after glass of wine as she and Ianto talked about Tommy, Jack, everything and anything. Jack, an unobtrusive presence in the other room, wishing them a good night around midnight. Ianto saying "I'll just finish this glass and join you," before several more glasses of wine… _

_._

Without thinking about what she was doing, she ran her fingers through Ianto's hair. She felt his smile and he nuzzled closer.

"Jack," he mumbled, shifting in his sleep. "_Ashe." _

Tosh smiled. _I might have lost Tommy, but at least Ianto still has Jack, _she thought, continuing to stroke his hair. _I was so worried about him when Jack was gone, but things seem to be going better now. Jack stays at his flat, which isn't something I'd have expected. Jack's never been one to settle down with one person. _

_Was Jack serious when he said he was just with Ianto? God, I hope so, for both their sakes. I didn't have the guts to actually ask Ianto about that. They're both so much happier now that they're really together. And they __do_ _make a cute couple. _

A strange keening filled the air. _Such a sad sound, _she mused. _Makes me think of Tommy. Has it really been four days since we sent him back? So brave. So young. And to die like that? Shot by the government he was sworn to protect because of shell-shock? Branded a coward when he's one of the bravest men I know? Why couldn't Torchwood have done something about it? Why couldn't they have helped him, or pardoned him, or something? He saved the world! That's the least they could do! _

_I don't love him, I don't think, but I like him. I wish he could've stayed longer. Maybe we could have had a shot at something? _She sighed sadly. _Let it go, Tosh. You know you have horrible luck picking partners. Why couldn't Ianto and I be interested in each other? _She shook her head to banish that thought. _No! He's my friend. He's like a brother. It would never work, and he's with Jack, besides._

Another sound interrupted her thoughts. Her brain quickly identified it as the crunch of a bare foot stepping on a laptop monitor. She cringed in sympathy for both the unfortunate person and the destroyed technology. A loud thud followed.

In the bedroom, Jack began to scream.

***TW TW TW***

Tosh woke a second time to find herself being spooned by Jack in Ianto's bed, with Jack's arm casually draped over her side. Ianto was pressed against Jack's other side, his arm over them both so that he could twine his fingers with Jack's as they slept. She was completely dressed in an old t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms of Ianto's, and she happily noted that Jack was in pajama bottoms as well, though his chest was bare. Ianto, she assumed, would also be dressed. Pajamas and a t-shirt, she remembered.

Jack whimpered in his sleep. He sounded like he was in pain. He sounded like he was crying. Ianto shifted and resettled himself closer to Jack. He moved his hand so he could hold it over Jack's heart as he whispered comfortingly in Jack's ear, a mix of English and Welsh, peppering his comments with the occasional kiss to Jack's back or shoulder. His voice was a low rumble, so she could only pick out the occasional word. "…safe with me…gets better…love you…"

Tosh blushed at the intimacy of the moment. _I shouldn't be here,_ she thought frantically. _I shouldn't be listening to this! _She tried to move so she could get out of bed, but Jack's arm tightened around her waist.

"Don't leave," Jack murmured sleepily. He tugged her closer so that she could feel Ianto's hand between them, the muscles of Jack's abdomen against her lower back, his crotch pressing into her ass. She blinked in surprise. Jack wasn't aroused at all! Nor were his hands wandering up to her breasts or down to her groin. "Need you," he whispered.

"Jack?" she asked softly.

"Need all the friends I can get," he mumbled. He continued whimpering and muttering incoherent words of distress for another half hour while Ianto calmed him. Finally, Jack seemed to get past the worst of it and his breathing relaxed back into the gentle rhythm of sleep. On his other side, Ianto kissed the back of Jack's neck and shifted so his hand was where it had been before, wrapped around Jack's.

Tosh stared into the darkness thinking about Jack and Ianto for almost an hour before sleep claimed her again. _They're more serious than I thought, _she mused.

***TW TW TW***

When the alarm woke them at half past six, Jack had migrated over to Ianto's side of the bed and wrapped himself around Ianto, twining their bodies together as their fingers had been in the night. Tosh lay still as the two men kissed good morning quickly.

"Why are you wearing clothes?" Jack asked with a jaw-cracking yawn as he stretched. "Wait a minute, why am _I_ wearing clothes?" he demanded of Ianto, a puzzled frown on his face.

"We have a guest," Ianto answered, running his fingers through his hair as he sat up.

Jack jerked into a sitting position as he turned his body to face Tosh. "Tosh!" he exclaimed, surprised. "Hi."

"Good morning," she whispered. "I, um —"

"It was a bad night, wasn't it?" Jack asked, looking between them both.

"You could say that," Ianto answered with a twist of his lips. "You broke your laptop."

"You don't remember?" Tosh asked.

"No, not yet. It'll come to me soon, though. Usually by the time I'm done getting dressed."

"Oh."

"Jack, why don't you shower first?" Ianto suggested. "I'll sort some breakfast." He peered around his lover. "Tosh, you'll join us?"

"Of course," she said, wondering if there was any other response and knowing there wasn't.

Fifteen minutes later, Tosh sat at Ianto's breakfast bar nursing her first cup of coffee. "Wow! You've been holding out on us at work," she exclaimed.

Ianto shrugged and sipped his own coffee. "There have to be some things that are just for me."

"So, can I ask about what happened last night?"

"It'll be better to do that once Jack's here," Ianto answered. "It's his story to tell." She nodded in understanding. Just then, Jack poked his head out of the bathroom door.

"Ianto, text Gwen from my phone to tell her not to come in today but to be on standby," he mumbled around a toothbrush. "And give Tosh the day off, too. We'll do this here, then deal with talking to Owen." He pulled his head back into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He poked his head out again, toothbrush firmly in his hand. "And before you say anything, yes, you were right!" he called, louder than before. "I don't want to hear about it again, understand?" He slammed the door.

"What's that about?" Tosh asked after an awkward minute.

"You'll find out," Ianto replied, getting up to pour coffee for Jack, who appeared next to him, fully dressed.

"Ah! You brought out the good stuff," Jack enthused after his first sip.

"Well…" Ianto trailed off with a raised eyebrow to finish his thought. Jack simply nodded and took the stool next to Tosh.

"First of all," Jack began, turning to Tosh, a serious expression on his face. "Thank you. I was a bit out of my mind last night, and I appreciate that you were able to take things in stride and help me, especially so soon after we had to send Tommy away."

"Of course I would! I'd do it for any of you. You'd do it for us," Tosh said. "You and Ianto _have_ been helping me get over the Tommy thing, just by being so nice to me."

"Still, helping your boss with a nightmare and sleeping next to him aren't exactly in the job description."

"Unless you're me," Ianto put in, winking at Jack. Jack squeezed his arm affectionately.

"You're not just my boss, Jack," Tosh said. "You're my friend. You should know that by now."

Jack smiled genuinely. "Believe it or not, I do know that most of the time."

"Good."

"So, let me explain what happened," Jack said, finishing his coffee in three quick swallows. Ianto poured more and turned back to the stove top where he was making eggs and keeping in the background.

"While I was away, I was tortured," Jack stated. "And I was with a time traveler, so I was actually gone for an entire year. The nightmares and flashbacks you saw last night are symptoms of that trauma."

"For an entire year?" Tosh whispered, tears threatening. "Was it worse than what they did to me at UNIT?" Jack nodded, his face a grim mask.

"Much worse," Jack said. "I can't die, and they knew that. They took pleasure in seeing how much I could take before I died, then, when I came back, they had something even more sadistic lined up." He shuddered.

Tosh slipped off her stool to throw her arms around Jack in a heartfelt hug. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's OK," Jack said, forcing his trepidation about having this conversation out of his consciousness. "I'm dealing with it. Ianto's helping."

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked, releasing him to take her seat again. "I mean, what do you need from me?"

Ianto put a piece of paper and pen in front of Jack without Jack having to ask. Jack began writing. "There are a few words and phrases that might trigger a flashback or other bad reaction," Jack said as he wrote. "Ianto's been encouraging me to tell you and the others so that you don't inadvertently say them, but I didn't want to make my pain everyone's business. After last night, I realized that I can't keep this from you if we're going to really work as a team. I need you to know you can trust me to be in charge when that's needed and that I'm working through my own shit when I'm not on duty, just like I ask you to do."

"You're not any less of a leader, Jack. We've all been through so much, apart _and_ together. _We_ need to know that you're human and that you think like us. You're scary, sometimes, in how you make decisions."

"I've been working on that with him," Ianto said, interjecting himself into the conversation as he put three plates of scrambled eggs, bacon and buttered toast on the bar. Jack dug into his food enthusiastically, the paper he was working on momentarily forgotten.

"Thanks, _ashe," _Jack said through a bite of toast. "This is perfect." He grinned happily at Ianto, who rolled his eyes and silently passed over a napkin.

"I'm working on his table manners, as well," Ianto added with a long-suffering sigh. "It's not going as successfully."

Tosh giggled, happy at how at ease they both seemed with being affectionate with each other, despite her presence. "Can't have everything, can you?"

"Oh, I give him everything he needs," Jack said with a mischievous glint in his eye. "And I do mean _everything,_" he added.

"If we can get back to the matter at hand?" Ianto asked, blushing slightly.

"Hey, you brought up your job description!"

"Jack…" Ianto said warningly, an eyebrow raised. Jack smiled sheepishly and backed down. "Now, you were saying?" Ianto asked.

"Right! Gotta stay on task." Jack, already finished with his breakfast while the others were barely halfway through, took his plate to the sink and resumed writing on the paper in front of him. "I don't remember the details of last night," Jack mentioned as he wrote, not looking at Tosh or Ianto. "I know you both were there, and that for some reason I needed you with me, Tosh, but I don't remember what I said."

"It was all very confusing," Tosh said after swallowing a sip of coffee. "You kept asking about a baby and telling me you'd protect me. That you'd come for me and save me. You grabbed me in a — hug, I guess — and wouldn't let me go!" Jack nodded, his lips pressing into a thin line. "You wouldn't calm down until all three of us were in bed." She blushed, looking away in embarrassment.

"The thing is, when I was away, I wasn't just time traveling. Here, this will help." Jack turned over the paper and drew a line across it. "This is linear time. Most of us live our lives linearly, being born, growing up, dying. Some of us, like you, have jumped around in time." Jack drew a second line, shorter, and added dates. "You went from 2007 to 1941 and back again, like this." He showed her the graphic.

"What happened to me was more complicated. I went to the end of the universe. All the way to the end when the stars were dying in the sky and humanity was a few thousand souls trying to fine a home. The Master, who you knew as Harold Saxon, was an evil Timelord, and he stole the Doctor's TARDIS."

"His time machine?"

"Yes. He took it back in time. Now, look at this." Jack pointed to the paper where he'd drawn a line, marking a few dates. He tapped a date they all knew. "On this day the Master created a Paradox Machine out of the TARDIS. He cannibalized her and made her into something impossible, something that should never be. From that point on, history changed."

"That's the day we decided to go to the Himalayas," Ianto pointed out. "I remember sitting in the meeting and feeling like I heard your voice."

"That was an echo of the other timeline," Jack said. "In my timeline, The Year That Never Was, that was the day I shouted a psychic message to you telling you to evacuate the Hub."

"What happened?" Tosh asked, fascinated.

"The Doctor and I were trapped on the _Valiant,_ UNIT's newest aircraft carrier. The Master tortured me whenever he was bored, or when he wanted to show off to his wife, or even for no reason at all. My friend Martha was walking the earth, trying to save humanity, along with your help." Jack smiled at both of them. "You made me so proud," he said softly. "Both of you."

"What did we do?"

"I can't tell you," Jack snapped. "I'm telling you too much as it is."

Ianto covered Jack's hand with his. "It's OK, Jack. You can trust Tosh, like you trusted me."

Jack nodded curtly. "I know. It's just —" He broke off. "It's just hard to talk about."

"You don't have to," Tosh rushed to say. "I don't want to upset you."

"No, it's important that you know the basics," Jack decided. "After that horrible year, I destroyed the Paradox Machine, and the world snapped back to the exact time when it became active." Jack tapped the date with his pen. "The year I experienced, that we all experienced, never happened. It ceased to exist, except in the memories of the select few who were on the _Valiant_ at the time." He added a line breaking off from the main line at the date, then scribbled over it, crossing it out.

"So, you remember everything that happened, and none of us do?" Tosh whispered.

"Yes," Jack answered.

"That's just — mad!"

"Well, traveling with the Doctor _is_ mad," Jack mused after a moment. "But it's also —" he broke off, searching for the proper word. When he couldn't find it, he changed topics. "He's unreliable when it comes to landing the TARDIS at the right time. I asked him to get me back to Cardiff as soon after we left as he could, but he miscalculated, and three months had passed. At that point, he couldn't take me back any farther without potentially messing up the timelines."

"I don't understand."

"That part's not vital."

"What _is_ vital," Ianto added, "is that Jack's still recovering from that year."

"Well, I wouldn't expect anyone to recover from a year of torture overnight!" Tosh exclaimed. "No one would!"

"The extra moodiness, angry outbursts, that sort of thing, that happens when Jack's feeling overwhelmed, or when something's been triggering for him." Ianto shared a look with Jack, silently asking permission to continue. Jack nodded. "It's at night, when there's no one else around, that Jack can let go enough to process some of what happened, a little at a time. He invariably has nightmares. Last night was a particularly bad one."

"So you go through something like that every night?" Tosh wondered.

"Yep," Jack answered. He finished his list and handed her the piece of paper. "Here are things that might trigger me. I was planning on getting more of the memories locked away before I talked to you, so there wouldn't be such a long list, but, well, you happened to be here for it." He frowned. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"It's OK, Jack. We all go through stuff. Remember how I wouldn't move out of Suzie's flat for the first six months because I couldn't stand to be alone after UNIT?"

"I forgot about that," Jack said. "You've come so far since then."

"Well, you'll get over this, too. And if you need me to spend the night again…" She trailed off at the telltale glint in Jack's eyes.

"Don't say it," Ianto growled. "Don't even _think_ it."

"I'm allowed to flirt!" Jack protested. "And she offered…"

Ianto covered his face with his hands. "Just, no." Jack smirked at him while simultaneously winking at Tosh. "I'll drive you back to the Hub if you want, Tosh, to get your car?" Ianto offered. "Do you want to shower first?"

"That would be great, thanks," she responded with a smile.

Ianto went to the other room to find a clean towel for her while Jack gathered the dishes and mugs to put them in the dishwasher. She could see the tension in his back as he moved and the slight tremor in his hands, now that she was looking more carefully. _This hasn't been easy for him to talk about, _she thought. _And here I am, not even offering to do the dishes! My mother would die of shame. But he got up to do it so quickly, that maybe he needs to do it, to have something to do while we're alone together. Because if anything's clear, it's that having Ianto nearby helps him and calms him. _

Once in the bathroom, she turned on the shower and got ready to get in, but a sound outside made her pause. Wrapping herself in the towel, she opened the bathroom door a small crack. In the living room she could hear Ianto and Jack talking.

"That went OK," Jack said. "She didn't freak out or try to baby me, or anything."

"I told you she wouldn't," Ianto replied. "And neither will Owen. It's just Gwen we'll have to worry about."

"Telling Owen is all I'm up for today. We can tackle the Gwen problem once I've had some time to work through today. He'll want more details than Tosh did. About my symptoms and about the actual traumas."

"He _is _a doctor, and he'll want to be able to monitor your progress."

"Have you been keeping track of any of it?" Jack asked. "I know I haven't been. You've been writing in your diary more than usual."

"I'll try to make up a symptom list in a spreadsheet so we can track frequency, duration, strength. That should placate him, and help you, too."

"Worth a try," Jack muttered. There was silence for almost a minute and Tosh was tempted to close the door and get under the water, but then Jack spoke again. "Thank you for everything you do for me. I don't deserve you."

"Jack, I could say the same thing. Average bloke like me, getting you to settle down with me? No one would have predicted that."

"You're anything but average," Jack insisted.

"And _you_ deserve to have me in your life," Ianto declared forcefully. "How many times do we have to go over this?"

"As many time as either of us needs to hear it. Goddess, look at me," Jack said, pausing briefly. "I love you."

"I know," Ianto said brightly. "I love you, too."

Tosh felt happy tears pricking the edges of her eyes at their casual declarations of love for each other as she closed the door silently and got into the shower.

***TW TW TW***

The scene that greeted Tosh in the living room was not what she'd been expecting. It looked practically domestic. Jack sat at one end of the sofa with a file in his hand, a pile of reports in his lap, and his sock-covered feet resting on Ianto's lap. Ianto, now wearing jeans and a red jumper, sat at the other end of the sofa drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. They both looked up when she entered the room.

"All set, then?" Ianto asked, putting down his mug and paper.

"Wait," Jack said. He out a hand on Ianto's arm to stop him from getting up. "There's something wrong with this requisition form."

Ianto glanced at the file Jack held out and shrugged. "It's the same as always."

"No, it's not. Owen's asking for five time as much of these seven compounds, and ten times as much of these two. Look at this! Why does he need so much more all of a sudden?"

"It's fine, Jack," Ianto reassured him. He gently pushed Jack's feet off his lap and stood. Frowning at the paper, Jack didn't notice.

"No, I'm sure this is different. Why would this change so much in three months?" Jack tilted his head, doing some mental calculations, muttering numbers under his breath. "This is pain meds! Ianto, what's this about?" he demanded angrily.

"It's nothing, Jack. It's fine."

"No, it bloody well isn't!" Jack shouted, standing, the files in his lap slipping to the floor in an untidy pile. "Why is Owen requesting five times as much pain medication as he used to?" He looked from Tosh to Ianto and back again. "Tosh? Care to enlighten me?"

"Um, it's like this…" she trailed off.

"Without you here we were getting hurt more often, OK?" Ianto explained irritatedly, grabbing the file from Jack. "We didn't want you to worry, now that you're back. We didn't think you'd notice."

Jack's eyes clouded with anger. "You didn't think I'd notice?" he repeated. "You didn't think I'd _notice_? What the fuck!"

"Jack," Tosh whispered, trying to soothe him.

"Well, you never seemed to pay much attention to the forms before," Ianto muttered, clearly embarrassed to have to say it. "You'd give them a cursory glance and sign them, if you looked at them at all."

"And now I do read them, is that it?" Jack demanded. "Now that I'm back, I'm suddenly paying better attention to the forms, but you didn't think I'd notice something like this? You didn't think that I've been filling out these forms for longer than you've been alive and that in a glance I can tell what's different from usual? That I might have a decent memory? Not as good as yours, no, but better than most, considering."

Ianto didn't say anything, standing there looking very uncomfortable.

"You think I didn't used to pay attention to my team? That I didn't look at what you were having me sign? That I didn't _care_ about you? That I needed _a year of torture_ to be able to be _human_ enough to care about my team? That I'm some _monster_ —"

"No, Jack, that's not it —"

"That's exactly it!"

"Jack —"

"Fuck you, Jones!" Jack shouted. "Tosh," he added in a quieter voice. "We're leaving."

"But —"

"Now!" Jack ordered, interrupting her before she could say more than a single word. She looked at Ianto, begging for help, but all he did was make a motion with his hand to indicate for her to follow Jack.

"I'll be fine," he mouthed. "Look after him."

Tosh nodded and rushed to follow Jack out of the flat to the SUV. Once settled in the car, she looked over at Jack's profile. He drove with white-knuckled intensity, his jaw clenched in anger.

"Jack?" she asked softly.

"Don't say anything," he answered, his voice tight.

"It wasn't just Ianto —"

"Tosh, I am on the edge of something very nasty. If you want to make it to your car, stop talking to me," Jack hissed.

Tosh huddled in her seat and tried to remind herself that Jack was just overloaded from talking about the trauma and didn't mean to hurt her feelings, or Ianto's. It didn't work very well.


	65. Chapter 65: To the Last Man, pt 4

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 65: To the Last Man, part 4**

A/N: First they tell Tosh, now they tell Owen. How will Jack take it all? Read, Enjoy and please review!

Oh, and next chapter is a bit of fluff after all the angst lately. ;-)

.

"Where is everyone?" Owen asked, tapping on Jack's door frame and entering his office. Jack looked up from the glass of scotch in his hand.

"Have a seat, Owen," Jack answered, motioning him into the chair across his desk from him.

"You OK?" Owen asked, finally getting a good look at Jack. His face was paler than usual, and his eyes were red. If he had to guess, Owen would say Jack had been crying. No, he decided. That couldn't be it. "You're drinking before nine! That's not you, mate."

Ianto appeared with a tray of coffee, dressed immaculately in suit and tie, as always. He handed a mug to Owen and placed a second on Jack's desk. Jack glared angrily at him.

"What are you doing here?" Jack snarled.

"Bringing you coffee, sir," Ianto replied in his butler voice, the impassive mask firmly on his face, daring Jack to protest. "If there's nothing else…"

"Don't go anywhere," Jack ordered Owen as he propelled Ianto out of the office, closing the door behind them. They made it as far as Tosh's station before Jack pulled Ianto around to face him. "I don't want you here," he hissed.

"I can tell," Ianto replied, an edge of sarcasm in his voice. "But if you're going through with telling him, you _need_ me here. I'm not letting you do that alone, no matter how much of an arse you were to me a few hours ago."

"Me? What about you?" Jack demanded.

"You yelled at me in front of Tosh, you told me to fuck off, you stormed out of my flat without any warning, you ruined a perfectly organized pile of paperwork, and you assumed things based on your trauma that have nothing to do with reality!" Ianto was yelling by the time he finished ticking off points on his fingers.

"You lied to me!" Jack countered. "You tried to cover up something that's vital to running this place, you assumed I wasn't paying attention to the paperwork when I was, you implied that I was stupid and you called me a monster!" Jack paused, his breath coming in quick gasps. "And since I came back, it's always 'trauma this' and 'trauma that.' There's more going on with me than just the god-damned trauma!" Jack shouted at the top of his lungs.

"So talk to me. Tell me, what else is going on? What am I missing? Because that's all I've been seeing."

They stared at each other for a long moment before Ianto spoke again.

"Jack, look, you had a really bad night, then you talked about it with Tosh. You wrote out all your triggers. You're about to go over it with Owen, and he'll ask more detailed questions and you're anxious about having to go through that. You're having a reaction to all of it. I get it. But don't expect me to lie down and take it all the time just because you're still healing. I have feelings, too, damn it!"

Jack crossed his arms and looked away from Ianto, glowering into the distance. As suddenly as the anger took him over a few hours before, it all rushed away, leaving him feeling empty, cold and alone. "Why don't you like me anymore?" he asked in a broken voice.

"What?" Ianto shook his head in confusion at the abrupt mood change. "What are you talking about?"

"You haven't touched me all morning. You haven't kissed me. We haven't had sex. Now you're yelling at me. What did I do wrong? Why don't you like me?"

"Oh, Jack," Ianto whispered, pulling Jack into his arms. "Of course I still like you! I love you, remember? I'm just not used to, you know, being affectionate when there are people we know around. It's so much easier for me with strangers in a restaurant or on the street than our friends." Jack clung to him and started crying. Ianto rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head. "It'll be OK, _ashe, _it'll be OK."

"Did I do something wrong?" Jack asked, raising his head.

"You embarrassed me in front of Tosh," Ianto answered. "That's the biggest thing. The rest doesn't really matter."

"I'm sorry," Jack said sincerely. "I didn't mean to."

"I know," Ianto whispered. "I know. We'll get through this, yeah?"

"Yeah," Jack smiled hesitantly.

"Do you still want to do this with Owen?"

"I need to. I can't put it off now that I've decided to do it. I'll just get worse, otherwise."

"OK, go wash your face and I'll bring more coffee and we can start. How does that sound?"

Jack nodded. "Fine. That seems fine." He reluctantly let go of Ianto and turned towards the locker room. Ianto pulled him back and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Feel better now?"

"Yeah, a little."

"Good. When we're done with Owen, we can banish all this negative energy with a good shag."

Jack smiled. "Yeah. You know what I need, don't you?"

"Sex therapist, remember? Don't discount the healing qualities of sex."

"Oh, believe me, I don't!" Jack enthused, feeling much better now that he knew Ianto wasn't getting ready to leave him over his reactions to the trauma. He dashed away. Ianto shook his head in frustration and went to make another round of coffee.

***TW TW TW***

"Finished with your little domestic?" Owen sneered when Jack walked back into his office. "You know, sometimes I'm glad this office is soundproofed." Jack ignored his comments. He settled himself down into his chair and regarded Owen with narrowed eyes. He clasped his hands in front of him on the desk. Ianto appeared with new coffee, deftly replacing Jack's cup and offering a new one to Owen. He set his tray down and leaned against the back wall of Jack's office, his own mug in his hand.

Owen fidgeted in his chair. "What's going on, Harkness?" he finally asked when the silence was too much for him.

Jack took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You wanted to know where I went when I was away," he said calmly, devoid of emotion. Owen nodded and motioned for him to continue. "Ianto said you were asking about me? Saying I seemed 'twitchy,' or something like that?"

"Yeah."

"You should've come to me."

"Probably," Owen agreed. "But you've not been open with any of us lately. I figured he'd be more willing to talk if he was worried about you."

"Next time, come to me." Owen nodded again. "When I went away, I was actually gone for a year in my personal timeline." Jack paused, then continued in an even more toneless voice. "I was tortured for that entire time. Physically, emotionally, sexually and psychotropically. They didn't want information. They did it because they thought it was fun."

"Shit," Owen breathed, leaning back in his chair with a small grunt. "Really? You're not just taking the piss?"

"No. I wish I were."

Owen nodded, his entire body language shifting as he slipped into clinical mode. "Ianto, can you get me a kit from the autopsy bay?" he asked. "And a pad of paper?" Ianto nodded and slipped out of the room. Owen leaned forward and put his elbows on Jack's desk. "I'm going to have to do a full evaluation, Jack. Do you want him in here for this?"

"I don't think I could get through this without him," Jack said softly.

"The eval, or…"

"All of it."

"So what was all that about?" Owen demanded, waving behind him to indicate the fight he'd just witnessed.

"I had a bad night," Jack explained. "And then we told Tosh over breakfast, since she'd been at the flat last night, talking with Ianto. Going over it again with you, in more detail… well, I was a bit overwhelmed just thinking about it, and snapped at him."

"Huh."

Ianto returned with the items Owen requested and handed them over, then settled against the back wall again.

"Do you want to go over current symptoms first or what happened to you?" Owen asked, grabbing a Biro and the pad. "We'll do the physical check up after."

"Symptoms," Jack said decisively. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. His eyes flickered back to Ianto, who'd moved to be in Jack's line of sight. "Nightmares and flashbacks. Intense flashbacks. I've gotten lost in them a few times. Trouble sleeping, hyperarousal, anxiety, uncontrollable crying jags, jitteryness."

"Fear of being alone," Ianto interjected.

"I'm drinking more than I used to, but that's been settling down," Jack continued. "Unexplained muscle tension, tremors, dizziness, nausea, some vomiting, lack of coordination, dropping things. I fainted once."

"Any change in appetite?" Owen asked.

"I don't think so." Jack looked to Ianto, who nodded in confirmation.

"Changes in sexual behavior?"

Jack glanced at Ianto again, who stepped forward to put a comforting hand on Jack's shoulder. Jack reached up to cover his hand, gaining strength from the slight contact. "I can't even think about certain things I used to enjoy without feeling nauseated."

"Such as?"

Jack swallowed loudly. "Bondage, restraints, flogging. In either direction."

"Sex seems to help him after a nightmare or flashback," Ianto said softly.

"Yeah, it'll do that," Owen muttered. "It's the endorphins, makes you feel good. So, an increase in frequency or desire?"

"Both," Jack answered.

"And you've been able to keep up?" Owen asked Ianto. "No issues?"

"No issues," Ianto agreed. "It took him over three weeks to be able to bottom," he added.

Owen nodded, writing as fast as he could. "Enuresis or encopresis?"

Jack looked at him blankly.

"Loss of control of bladder or bowels," Ianto explained.

"No!" Jack exclaimed.

"Anything else that you can think of?"

"I don't think so."

"Ianto?"

"I think we've covered most of it," Ianto answered. "I'll let you know if I think of anything else."

Owen took a deep breath and looked up from the second page of notes to meet Jack's eyes. "Self-harm? Cutting, burning, pulling out hair?"

"No, nothing like that." Ianto squeezed Jack's shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"You told me to let you kill yourself if you go quiet and I can't get you out of it," Ianto said.

"Oh, yeah. I did say that, didn't I? Well, it's never come to that, has it?" Jack countered.

"No, I suppose not, but he asked."

Owen finished writing. "Have you ever tried to or successfully killed yourself?" he asked solemnly.

"Over the course of my entire life? Yes. Since I got back? No," Jack said firmly. "The last time was —" he paused in thought. "— 1992. Goading someone else to kill me? — I did that a lot the last year while I was trapped."

"Do you feel like you want to hurt or kill yourself now?"

"No. I suggested it as a way to reset me when I get lost in a flashback and can't get out. I don't want to die, and I had more than enough pain over the last year to last me another hundred lifetimes."

"How about wanting to kill others?"

"No."

"You mentioned increased drinking. What're you doing?"

"Um…"

"Used to be most of a bottle of scotch or similar spirit throughout the course of a day," Ianto said, answering for Jack. "Now it's down to a few drinks before bed. Two or three."

"Good," Owen said, adding all this information to his papers. "Drugs?"

"None," Jack said. "I can't stomach thinking of it. Not even over the counter medicines."

"Hmm, I'm going to give you twenty minutes to relax, then I'll take your blood pressure and get a blood sample and do the usual battery of physical tests. Then we'll talk about what happened. That sound reasonable?" Owen asked.

"Make it thirty minutes," Jack said. Owen nodded and took his pad to go to his workstation and type up the information. Jack turned to Ianto.

"Blowjob?" they asked in unison. Ianto nodded and lifted the hatch to Jack's bunker.

***TW TW TW***

"So you're telling me that between being let out of the cuffs for the last time and showing up at that house where we were confronting the blowfish there was only twelve hours?" Owen demanded as he paced back and forth in front of Jack's desk several hours later. "You got out, talked to some people, had a shower and sandwich, two hours of sleep, and followed us there?"

"Yes," Jack answered, sipping the newest cup of coffee Ianto provided to him, this one laced with a small amount of amaretto. "And I spent a few hours reading through mission logs while I waited for you to get back here. When I realized I'd been gone three months, I left immediately to find you."

"Twelve hours? Twelve hours. And you could stand there, smile like an idiot and spend an entire day chasing after that psychotic ex of yours before you bothered to eat or sleep again?"

Jack shrugged. "It was another few hours after he left before I ate or slept."

"Five before you ate, another two before you slept. And you woke up from a nightmare three hours later," Ianto clarified. "Once you were calm, you slept another four. Then we had to get up and go back to work."

"But we had breakfast," Jack added.

"True. You ate quite a bit, as I recall."

"OK, OK, I get the picture," Owen muttered. He continued pacing and talking to himself. Suddenly, he turned back to Jack. "You're a freak," he declared. "You're a total freak!" he continued, not noticing how Jack's hand tightened around the mug he held or how his eyes narrowed in pain. He didn't notice Ianto sidling closer to Jack, either. He swung around to face the main Hub as he ranted.

"You shouldn't have even been standing! You shouldn't have been able to do anything, let alone what you did! You were tortured and killed for a year! No human is capable of walking away from that like you did. It's against everything I've ever learned about trauma. It's just wrong."

The mug in Jack's hand exploded, sending coffee and pottery shards all over the desk. Owen jerked back around in surprise. Blood dripped from cuts on Jack's hand from where he'd squeezed the mug so tightly that it broke.

"Jack?" Ianto asked softly. Jack didn't respond, his eyes glassy and absent. He started trembling. He whimpered in pain.

"What's that about?" Owen grumbled.

"You fucking triggered him!" Ianto shouted. He dropped to his knees in front of Jack and turned Jack in his chair to face him. "Jack? _Ashe'ha?"_ Ianto whispered. "Come back to me, _ashe." _

"Bollocks!" Owen swore. He rushed over and shined a penlight into Jack's eyes. Jack didn't flinch, nor did his eyes dilate at the bright light. He rummaged in his med kit. "What did I say?" he demanded.

"I'll write it out for you. I'm not saying any of it myself," Ianto replied, wiping at the blood on Jack's hand with a handkerchief. The cuts were already healed. "_Ashe'ha," _he said again.

Owen held smelling salts under Jack's nose. Jack shuddered violently. Blinking rapidly, he seemed to come back to himself. His eyes tracked immediately to Ianto.

"Oh, God, I think I'm going to —" He broke off to vomit into the rubbish bin Ianto held out for him. He slipped off his chair and continued vomiting as Ianto rubbed his back soothingly. Owen ran from the room to return with a glass of water and a cold wet rag, which Ianto used to wipe Jack's forehead before resting it on the back of Jack's neck.

"Do you want —" Owen started.

"No drugs!" Jack shouted, interrupting him. He dry heaved for five minutes before he felt able to rinse his mouth. "Fuck, but that's unpleasant," he added, leaning back on his heels and closing his eyes, taking deep breaths to help the nausea pass.

"I'm sorry," Owen said. "I didn't mean to —"

"It's OK," Jack muttered without opening his eyes. "You didn't know what would trigger me yet."

"Do you want me to write out the list this time?" Ianto asked softly, still rubbing Jack's shoulders. Jack nodded.

"How usual a reaction is this?" Owen asked.

"Worst one yet," Ianto said. "Except for some of the nightmares. Worst one when he's conscious, I should say."

"Huh," Owen grunted. "How did I not know you were going through all this? How did you keep all those symptoms you listed earlier from me? I might be a twat, but I'm sure I'd notice all that."

"I have very advanced compartmentalizing skills," Jack said, pulling himself into his chair with Ianto's support. "And I've lived a long time, and been tortured before, so I have ways to deal with it." He took a deep breath and reached for the water to take a small sip. "Any chance of toast?" he asked Ianto hopefully.

"Of course," Ianto replied, walking from the room to the kitchen area.

"Not too much!" Owen shouted after him. "And no butter!"

"So, Dr. Harper, what's your opinion?" Jack asked.

"I'm just blown away that you kept all this from me."

"I have to be a leader and do what's necessary. So far, I've been able to do that and only break down when I'm with Ianto. But he convinced me to tell you, in case I can't keep it going like I have been." Jack paused. "And you're our medic. You need to know what's affecting me physically."

"You told Tosh and me, and Ianto, of course. What about Gwen? You going to tell her later today? Because I don't recommend it. Not with this kind of reaction."

"I think we have to plan out how to tell her," Jack said in a resigned voice. "I wish I didn't have to, but this affects the whole team, especially if she inadvertently triggers me. I'm not sure I can cope with her 'mothering' right now."

"No, probably not," Owen agreed. "It's hard enough to deal with when you're doing fine."

They sat in silence until Ianto returned with the toast and a mug of sweet milky tea. Jack took a tentative sip.

"I think you should get away from here for the day," Owen said. "You and Ianto. I'll call Tosh and Gwen if something comes up."

"I'll be fine in a few minutes," Jack protested.

"No, as the medical director, I'm telling you: You need the day off. I don't want to see you here until the morning. Understand? Me and the girls can take care of things."

Jack nodded reluctantly and glanced at Ianto, who was hovering in the background. "I'll pack some things," Ianto said, turning to climb down the hatch to Jack's bunker.

"You need to take care of yourself, Jack," Owen insisted. "Have Ianto email me the trigger words, and I'll think about what to do with Gwen. I'll need to know what you're doing to 'get over it,' as you say, also. We can reconvene tomorrow." He paused for a moment. "Is it OK if I talk to Ianto or Tosh without you?"

"Sure," Jack answered in a whisper. "As long as you summarize for me what you talked about afterwards."

"Will do."

Jack nodded again and took a small bite of toast. "I am kind of tired," he admitted.

"Good. Go home, shag the Teaboy, and get some fucking sleep!"


	66. Chapter 66: Meat, pt 1

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 66: Meat, part 1**

A/N: Here's a nice fun chapter for you, my loyal fans. Warnings for sex.

.

Ianto stood, leaning against a support pillar with a beer in his hands.

"_Ready for our game?" _Jack whispered in Ianto's ear through a private comm line. Ianto looked up at the upper walkway and caught Jack's eye. Jack nodded to emphasize his question. Ianto nodded back to say that yes, he was ready. "_Let the good times roll," _Jack said in an exaggerated Texas drawl before returning to his usual accent. "_Remember, you loose if you get hard. And believe me, I'll know. Get them talking." _

"Well, this is unprecedented," Ianto said to Tosh and Owen, who were sitting on the couch and a chair, each with drinks in their hands as well. "A fiance finding out." He took a swallow of beer.

"Mainly because we're all sad and single," Tosh said morosely, staring into her glass of white wine. "Oh, except you and Jack. Sorry, Ianto."

Ianto rolled his eyes and smirked to himself, not bothering to respond.

"_Definitely not sad __or_ _single," _Jack whispered. "_And to prove it to you, once all this nonsense is done, I'm going to undress you, piece by piece —" _

"Yeah, well, I'm better off without all that kind of hassle," Owen said pointedly, completely unaware of what Jack and Ianto were doing.

"_I'm going to blindfold you with that ridiculous polka dot tie you're wearing. You won't be able to see anything, but you'll be able to feel every little movement I make as I bury myself inside you —" _

"Maybe the answer is to go out with someone who knows what you do," Tosh said, putting her wineglass down and looking anywhere but at Owen.

"_I'm going to mark you, because you are __mine_ —"

"Look around us, Tosh, only we know what we do," Owen grumbled. "And I, for one, want nothing to do with whatever these two get up to after hours," he continued, waving a hand at Ianto. He rolled away on his chair, effectively ending the conversation. Tosh sighed sadly, following his movements with her eyes.

Ianto found Jack's eyes again. Jack raised an eyebrow suggestively as he walked into the greenhouse. Ianto's smile widened as he took another drink. So far, he'd been able to control his body's reaction to Jack's voice and the blatantly sexual things he was purring into his ear, but he was wondering how much longer he could hold out.

"_I'm going to take you hard and fast, from behind, and you're going to scream so loud —" _

The Invisible Lift activated, bringing Gwen and Rhys into the Hub. Jack stopped talking and left the greenhouse. "_Game's paused, sweetheart," _Jack muttered quickly. Ianto finished his beer in three quick swallows, getting ready to meet Gwen's fiance. She introduced him last, as usual. Ianto shrugged internally and waited for the perfect moment to tell Jack that yes, he _does_ show off. The tingle down his spine at Jack's hungry look was definitely worth it.

***TW TW TW***

"Do you fancy a game of pool sometime?" Tosh asked hesitantly. "We're always stuck in here, slaving away. It might be nice to, I don't know, get away, have some fun."

"Sure. Why not?" Owen answered without thinking much of the question. He continued closing the case he was working on.

"When?" Tosh couldn't keep the excitement from her voice, but Owen didn't notice.

"I'll talk to the others. We could have a Torchwood tournament." He stood, glancing at her briefly before going to the table in the middle of the greenhouse.

"Um, that's not what I meant," Tosh protested as Owen picked up the plate of sandwiches. He paused and looked at her more fully. "I meant, you know, just you and me. Like a date."

"A date?" he clarified. She nodded, smiling. "Yeah. Why not?" he answered, his voice hesitant yet surprised to have said what he did.

"You mean it?" she asked, suddenly nervous. "You're not just teasing me?"

"No, no, I'm not." Owen looked at the sandwiches in his hand and then back at her. He sounded amazed at his own declaration. "But it doesn't mean anything. I'm still going to flirt."

"Of course! You can be the king of flirts," she said, slightly too quickly.

"All right, then. When's the Rift look quiet?"

"Thursday," she said immediately. "I checked earlier."

Owen nodded and left the greenhouse, Tosh following behind. "Harkness!" Owen shouted. Jack stepped out of his office, lowering the book in his hand. Gwen and Rhys, still on the couch, looked up as well. "Me and Tosh are taking Thursday night off," Owen yelled across the Hub.

Jack tilted his head, regarding Owen with an inscrutable look. He looked beyond Owen at Tosh. Then he smiled and nodded before returning to his office.

***TW TW TW***

"Do you know what she said to me?" Jack demanded angrily of Ianto as he got undressed later that night.

"Who? Gwen?" Ianto asked, trying to keep up with Jack's sudden outburst after a silent ride to his flat. He hung his suit jacket in the closet.

"She stood there, in front of Rhys, and said: 'So you do have a heart.' As if I didn't. As if she doesn't know what happened to me while I was away and what it's taken to get better."

"Come off it, Jack. She's under a lot of pressure with Rhys in on this mission. It's the first time he's involved with us, and she's scared."

"I guess." Jack didn't sound convinced. Ianto tried a different angle.

"You've been back three months, as long as you were away. You haven't had a nightmare for four days. You're finally getting over all that shit you experienced, and I'd hate for _her_ to be the thing that sets you back again. Let it go. We all know you care and have a heart. She's just trying to impress her fiance."

"But she still wants me!" Jack exclaimed, changing the subject. "How many times have I told her I'm not interested? How many times have I told her I'm with you? She was sitting there, kissing him, and staring right at me!"

Ianto paused unbuttoning his shirt, stunned. "Oh."

"Staring right at me. Like she wanted me to protest, or something. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of her ignoring you. I'm sick of her fighting back against everything I say. I'm sick of her resisting my orders and making rookie mistakes. She's been here for over a year. It's past time for her to get it together."

"Maybe you're just reading too much into it?" Ianto suggested, not expecting Jack to believe him, as he didn't really believe himself, either. He'd seen the way she looked at Jack, even now.

Jack threw the last of his clothes on the floor and stomped into the living room, not caring about being naked, as usual. Ianto sighed and picked up the clothes, automatically sorting them for laundry, dry cleaning and what could still be worn again without thinking about it. He flattened Jack's waistcoat before hanging it up next to Jack's other clothes. He paused for a minute, bemused that a full _half_ of the closet was filled with Jack's things. When had that happened?

"Here," Jack said, shoving his laptop at Ianto.

"What am I looking for?"

Jack snatched it back and opened a video file. On screen, a grainy CCTV image showed Gwen staring in the direction of Jack's office with wide eyes while kissing Rhys. Ianto stared at the image for a long time before turning on the video. He listened to their conversation and watched as she told Rhys that he was the man for her, while trying to undress Jack with her eyes from halfway across the Hub.

"You see?" Jack growled. "I'm fed up with her."

"Let's just get through tomorrow, yeah? Then we can figure out what to do with her."

"We seem to say that a lot about her," Jack mused. "We've sat down with Tosh and Owen half a dozen times now to plan how to tell her things, and not just about my absence. We're really going to have to do something about this before the shit hits the fan." Ianto grunted in response but decided against saying anything.

Jack returned the laptop to the living room and sat on the bed, scowling. Ianto finished his own undressing and joined him, settling behind Jack on the bed. He planted kisses across Jack's shoulders.

"Why don't you show me how you can cock things up and shove them?" he whispered seductively, reaching around Jack to stroke his cock. Jack groaned as he hardened, but otherwise didn't move. His shoulders remained tense. "Do I need to get out the measuring tape as an incentive?" Ianto encouraged, licking Jack's neck and ear the way Jack loved.

"Oh, yeah," Jack breathed, shifting to be able to kiss Ianto comfortably. "I have an idea," he added. They kissed and caressed each other for a five minutes before Jack pulled away. "Where's the tie?"

Ianto groaned and went to retrieve it. "You sure you're ready for something like this?" Ianto asked as Jack carefully blindfolded him. "We haven't done anything like this since you've been back. You haven't wanted to."

"I've been thinking about it for two weeks," Jack admitted sheepishly, kissing Ianto's cheeks under the blindfold. "And I really hate this tie. Maybe I'll get an opportunity to cut it off and buy you a new one in its place." He moved to kiss Ianto's lips.

"I happen to like it," Ianto grumbled. "You can't tell me not to get another one like it."

"I can if I'm buying it," Jack teased. Ianto laughed softly.

Jack helped Ianto lie down and began kissing him all over. "Just stay there," Jack said. "Hold the headboard and don't move." He licked around Ianto's nipple then bit down, causing Ianto to gasp.

"Two weeks and you never said anything to me?" Ianto wondered suddenly.

"I wanted to make sure I was really ready to do it before I asked you."

Ianto gasped again as Jack nipped at his side. "Is there a scene we're doing, or are you just —"

"Just let me lead, sweetheart," Jack murmured, biting Ianto's hip. "Just come for me when I tell you to." He moved lower, tracing Ianto's appendectomy scar the way he always seemed to do lately.

"You have a thing for that scar, Jack?" Ianto wondered aloud. Jack swatted his thigh, demanding quiet. "Oh, fuck!" Ianto exclaimed as Jack swallowed his cock whole in one motion. He thrust his hips, pushing himself deeper into Jack's mouth and throat. Jack gurgled and hummed, but continued the assault on Ianto's erection, tongue and teeth and lips and breath bringing him closer and closer to the edge until suddenly Jack was gone from around him. Ianto jerked his hips up, trying to find Jack and was rewarded with another swat to his thigh.

Jack nuzzled Ianto's balls before sucking on them. Ianto hissed in pleasure, sure he was about to explode, but Jack could read him so very well at this point and left him alone again right before the crucial moment. Jack wrapped a hand around the base of Ianto's cock, holding him, stroking the underside with his thumb.

"Come for me," Jack whispered, his breath hot on the head of Ianto's cock. With a final thrust through Jack's fist and a cry of Jack's name, Ianto came, white liquid shooting out of him to coat his stomach and Jack's hand. Jack chuckled and Ianto heard a breathiness in Jack's laughter that he adored. Jack spread some of Ianto's cum over Ianto's lips and kissed him, licking the wetness as he did it.

Ianto moaned into Jack's mouth, aroused again at the brand new gesture. He'd tasted himself from Jack's mouth, but never quite like this. He released the headboard and grabbed Jack, pulling him closer to kiss him harder. He wrapped his legs around Jack's waist, rubbing his ass against Jack's erection. Jack groaned. Before he knew what was happening, Jack flipped Ianto over so that he was on his hands and knees. Jack carefully spread the rest of the cum along Ianto's ass crack and over his hole.

"Jack, you're not going to —"

Before Ianto could even finish his question, Jack was lapping it up, his tongue hot and wild and oh, so wonderful as it invaded Ianto's most private place. Jack could be very thorough when he wanted to be, and tonight was one of those nights. He found every single nerve ending Ianto possessed down there and caressed it with his tongue as he delved inside. Ianto bit his lip to keep from screaming at the pleasure.

"Come for me," Jack whispered again, and Ianto was coming, shuddering, moaning, collapsing onto the bed as his knees gave out at the intensity of it all.

Jack gave him what felt like thirty seconds to catch his breath before he pulled Ianto up onto his hands and knees again. Then Jack was entering him, filling him, thrusting into him in that absolutely perfect way that only Jack would ever know how to do. Ianto saw stars. He panted and cursed and begged for more. Jack pushed harder, faster, deeper, _deeper, _finding that sweet spot again and again. Ianto whimpered, too lost in the sensations to form words any longer, but Jack knew what he meant.

Ianto didn't know where he was, didn't care, didn't think it would ever matter again as long as Jack was there to bring him to new heights of bliss. Jack bit his shoulder, hard, signaling his wishes, and Ianto came again, riding the orgasm as he clenched down on Jack's cock and his vision under the makeshift blindfold went white. Jack shouted out his completion, filling Ianto with the molten heat of his seed.

***TW TW TW***

Ianto drifted, happily warm and content, his body heavy. He felt a brief sting and opened his eyes. He blinked several times to clear his vision. Jack sat on the edge of the bed, a look of concern and concentration on his face as he dabbed antiseptic on Ianto's shoulder where he'd bitten him earlier in the night. He noticed that Ianto was awake and smiled a little ruefully.

"I'm sorry," Jack said softly. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"S'ok," Ianto mumbled, already half asleep again. "Felt good."

"I love you."

Ianto grinned. "Love you, too," he responded. He let himself drift a little longer as Jack covered the bite with a plaster and kissed the area next to it. "Love you more than I loved Lisa," he whispered, the sleepiness making him recklessly honest. Jack jerked up.

"No, Ianto, don't compare us."

"It's true, though."

"I -"

"Come back to bed," Ianto interrupted. He rolled over onto his back so that Jack could curl half on top of him under the sheet. They kissed. "You make me happy, Jack," Ianto said between kisses. "I hope you know that."

"I do, _ashe,_" Jack responded. "You make me happy, too."

"I know you get scared about me getting hurt, but try not to worry, ok? Everything will be fine."

"If you say so," Jack murmured. He sighed and allowed himself to relax against Ianto. "Try to get some more sleep," he added, kissing Ianto's chest. Ianto grunted, already asleep. Jack sighed again. "I promise I'll take care of you, Ianto, as long as we have together."


	67. Chapter 67: Meat, pt 2

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 67: Meat, part 2**

A/N: 200 Reviews! Wow! Thank you everyone for reading and commenting. I love you all. Be prepared for the story to go powerfully AU next chapter. (Some of you will see this coming ;-)

Warnings for sex in this chapter.

.

For the first time since Jack returned from his trip with the Doctor, Ianto woke up alone in bed. The alarm shrilled at him from the bedside table, on Jack's side. Usually, Jack would turn it off after a few seconds and kiss Ianto awake, then maybe shag him in the shower or find something else creative to do to get them both off. Ianto groaned and reached over to turn the alarm off, feeling frustrated already, despite the amazing sex the night before. _Must be getting used to Jack's increased appetites when once a day isn't enough anymore, _he thought. _God, the man's insatiable. And I find myself going along with it and wanting it just as much as he does. Oh, the things he does to me… _

Pulling on a pair of tracksuit bottoms, Ianto stretched and wandered to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Jack's favorite mug sat in the dish drainer. Jack's boots and coat were missing from the front hall. _He must have made tea before he left,_ he thought. He set the timer on the coffee machine and went to take a shower.

_It's strange. I thought I'd be more worried about him if he was gone when I woke. It would be nice if he left a note, or texted me, but I'm not feeling that dread I expected. I just have a sense that he's OK. _

_He's been doing so well lately. I think he's really putting all that trauma behind him. Those boxes of his work. Today makes five days without a nightmare, unless that's what propelled him out of bed. But I would've heard him if he was having one, wouldn't I? _

_Ah, well. Not much to do about it now. Hopefully he's at work and not on a roof somewhere. We've got a busy day ahead of us. I'll have to figure out how to transport a 50 meter-long alien sea creature. _

Ianto arrived at a darkened Hub. The lights were on in Jack's office, but he wasn't there. Nor was he in the bunker. Pulling up the CCTV, Ianto flipped through the main cameras until he found Jack, head down on his arms on the table, fast asleep in the conference room on top of the blueprints of the warehouse they were to visit that morning. With a sigh, Ianto went to the coffee machine.

Fifteen minutes later, Ianto placed a pair of mugs of coffee on the conference room table and walked over to Jack. He rubbed Jack's back gently and leaned over him.

"Jack? Time to wake up, _ashe," _he said softly.

Jack shifted, grumbling sleepily. "Ianto?"

Ianto smiled gently, pushing Jack's mug closer to him and moving to rub Jack's neck with his thumbs. "You're worried about this mission, aren't you?" he asked.

Jack breathed deeply, relaxing under Ianto's hands. "I have a bad feeling about it," Jack answered. "Something doesn't feel right. I just can't figure out what."

Ianto finished the neck rub and patted Jack's shoulder before taking a seat next to him. "So, talk to me. What got you out of bed in the middle of the night?"

"It's not Rhys I'm worried about. He's a good guy. Simple. Normal. He'll do what we say and get out of there. But Gwen…" Jack took a sip of coffee, then smiled at Ianto. "This is great! Thanks."

"You're welcome. Do you think she's too emotional about it?"

"I've offered her the option to stand down twice, and she hasn't taken it. I respect her desire to protect him. He's a civilian, and this is his first mission."

"If it goes well, would you recruit him?"

"Maybe. There's something to be said for having a transport manager on staff. It would take some of that work off your shoulders."

"Hmm, not a bad idea," Ianto mused, taking a sip of his coffee. "Well, for now, let's get breakfast sorted," Ianto offered.

"I think I figured it out!" Jack exclaimed suddenly. "Look," he pointed to the blueprints. "We know how many people were there yesterday, but what if there are more today? That's what's got me worried."

"Should we redistribute where we each go? Just in case?"

"I want Gwen with me, as far from Rhys as possible. We don't want an incident because she can't control herself if he's in danger. I had to restrain her yesterday from going out there as soon as we saw him."

"So Gwen and you to where the creature is," Ianto clarified. "Owen will go to the sedatives room to start getting the creature off whatever drugs it's on, and Tosh and I will take the other rooms."

"No, Tosh should come with me. If I'm busy keeping Gwen in check, I'll need someone else there. And you're better with a stun gun than anyone else here, so it's best if you take the outlying areas and get as many of the workers as possible. Sound reasonable?"

"Perfect, sir," Ianto replied, trailing a finger along the back of Jack's hand.

"Oh," Jack gasped. "You know what you calling me sir does to me."

Ianto rolled his eyes and stepped up into Jack's personal space. "There will be certain rewards for a successfully completed mission, sir." Jack's nostrils flared as his eyes darkened with desire. "Would you like a preview?"

Jack nodded, unable to form words at the sudden glint in Ianto's eyes. Ianto smirked. He straddled Jack's hips and kissed him gently. Jack's hands came up to grip his waist on either side.

"This is my preview?" Jack murmured after a few minutes of kissing.

"No," Ianto answered. He leaned closer to Jack and whispered in his ear, every so often trailing his tongue along the outer edge. Jack hardened almost instantly, to Ianto's great satisfaction. "Then…" Jack's hips jerked once, violently, then —

"Shit!" Jack exclaimed. Ianto's eyes flew open to meet Jack's.

"Did you just…?" Their eyes moved to focus on the expanding wet spot on the front of Jack's trousers.

"…come?" Jack finished for Ianto, clearly amused at Ianto's hesitancy to ask the question. "In my trousers? I think I did."

Ianto climbed off Jack's lap as if he were on fire. He quickly checked to make sure his own trousers were clean. Jack smiled ferally, his eyes on Ianto's erection, still tenting his trousers. Ianto's lips twitched into one of the widest, most flustered, most adorable smiles Jack had ever seen. "Well — um — I —" He couldn't keep a bit of pride from his voice and he tried to put words together into a sentence. "I guess you like the idea?" he finished, turning the question into more of a statement.

"Oh, Ianto, you have no idea," Jack purred. He advanced on Ianto, forcing him backwards until Ianto's legs hit the table. Jack grinned again. He pushed Ianto onto his back and kissed him hard. Ianto responded with just as much heat, pulling Jack half on top of him, grinding their groins together roughly. "You're going to get what you want," Jack promised, trailing kisses down Ianto's neck before claiming his mouth again. "But not just yet."

"Please, Jack," Ianto gasped, reaching down to struggle with his belt. "I need you inside me! Now!" He felt the blunt head of Jack's cock pressing against his ass through his trousers and redoubled his efforts to get the belt undone.

Jack, his pants already around his ankles, moved to help Ianto with hands that shook slightly. "You have no idea what you do to me," Jack hissed. "You just look at me and I'm a pile of jelly. You just say one word and I fall apart."

"Come on, Jack," Ianto begged. "Tell me all this later when I can appreciate it. Just fuck me already!"

Together they managed to get Ianto's fly open. Jack shoved the trousers and pants down Ianto's legs, but they'd never taken off his shoes, so they got stuck around his ankles. Jack growled in frustration and slipped between Ianto's legs, his pants forming a triangle-cage around him.

"Where's the lube?" Jack demanded gruffly, reaching back to try to search Ianto's pockets.

"I don't care! I'm ready! Just do it!" Ianto cried. He pulled on Jack's hips to move him closer.

Jack tried to ease his way in, but Ianto clenched down, thrusting, pulling Jack all the way in with one quick movement. Ianto groaned in pleasure at the burn. He locked his ankles together behind Jack's neck and grabbed on to his biceps for stability with one hand, a fistful of Jack's collar in the other. He pulled Jack even closer and kissed him with a ferocity he usually kept under wraps.

"Hard as you can," Ianto gasped. "Fast as you can." Jack set to work. Soon, Ianto was chanting Jack's name and begging for more. The table shook under their efforts, a coffee mug tipping over and spilling coffee over the blueprints, soaking the arm of Ianto's suit. "Jack!" Ianto shouted. He shifted, and Jack pounded into his prostate again and again. "More," he whimpered into Jack's mouth. "More!"

"Fuck, Ianto, I love you," Jack managed, speeding up. "Goddess!" Another few thrusts and they were coming together, Ianto exploding between them, Jack hitting Ianto's prostate with his cum. Ianto shivered, an aftershock running through him. Another small stream shot out, landing on his tie. Jack lay his head on Ianto's chest, breathing hard, absently playing with the cum on Ianto's tie, tracing patterns with his fingers. Ianto lowered his legs until they rested around Jack's waist.

They lay there catching their breath, panting, enjoying the afterglow, until the steady _drip drip_ of coffee splattering to the floor woke Ianto to the situation of where he was.

"Shit," he breathed, running his fingers through Jack's sweaty hair. "That was outstanding."

"Where did that come from?" Jack asked. "Not that I'm complaining…but you don't usually want this kind of thing twice in a row since I came back."

Ianto chuckled. "I made you come in your pants," he said, the small laugh becoming larger, happier, almost giddy. "I made you —" He broke off to kiss Jack. "Felt so good, knowing I have that effect on you," he finally said. "I wanted - no, i _needed_ this. Needed to feel you like this."

Jack reached up to stroke Ianto's cheek with the back of his hand. "No one's ever made me feel the way you do, Ianto. I mean it. I hope you believe me."

Ianto's head fell back to the table with a loud thunk. "I do, Jack. I do, because you do the same to me." He laughed again. "Never thought this would be my life, but, damn, I wouldn't change it for the world," he added, echoing Jack's words from weeks before.

***TW TW TW***

"You wouldn't happen to be gay, by any chance, would you?" Rhys asked, laughter still in his eyes. Jack glanced at him, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth, remembering what he and Ianto had been up to before the team arrived. He doubted they'd want to know what had happened on the table on which they'd eaten breakfast.

"I don't ascribe to such quaint labels," Jack answered, enjoying the opportunity to tease Rhys by not answering. Their eyes locked briefly before Rhys looked back at the road. "I'm in a relationship with Ianto," Jack added, deciding to break the tension that suddenly cropped up between them.

"Ianto? That bloke in the suit?"

"That's him."

"Good for you, mate. Is it a serious thing?"

"Yes."

"Even better, yeah?"

"Yeah," Jack agreed, his smile returning. They settled into comfortable silence.

***TW TW TW***

"You OK?" Jack asked, coming up behind Ianto as he poured scotch for himself.

"I'm fine," Ianto answered, sipping his drink. "You want some?"

Jack shook his head, wrapped his arms around Ianto from behind and kissed the side of his neck. "You don't have to protect me any more, Ianto. You don't have to lie to me about how you are."

Ianto paused, took another sip. "I was terrified," he admitted in a soft voice. "When I heard that gun go off… I thought that would be it." He leaned back against Jack. "It was just dumb luck that the gun jammed."

"You got him shooting wild when you wrestled with him. He used up his bullets. That was a good tactic."

"I didn't want it to be over," Ianto added as if Jack hadn't spoken. "I didn't want to leave you alone."

"I knew it wouldn't be the end."

"How?"

"Instinct. I really knew you'd untie those knots, though. I had no doubts about that. You've practiced often enough since the cannibals. I knew you'd be able to go after them."

"Your voice cracked when you ordered me to do it, though," Ianto pointed out.

Jack chuckled and stole a sip of scotch. "I was terrified, too. I wasn't ready for it to be the end, either. I'd miss you too much. We haven't had long enough."

"Would it ever be enough for you?" Ianto wondered. "I mean, you'll live for billions of years. Even if I live to be a hundred, that's a drop in the bucket, a blip in time."

Jack tightened his arms around Ianto. "You will never be a blip in time to me, Ianto Jones," he said intensely, wanting to reassure the young man. "You're _ashe'ha." _

"Does that really mean beloved?"

"Yes."

"Is there another meaning, behind that?"

"No, it's just that I've never called anyone that before."

Ianto turned in Jack's arms to meet his eyes. "Really? In your whole life? All the people you've loved?"

"Really," Jack answered. "Where I come from, it's not said lightly."

"And yet you called me that after six months of being with me, right after I betrayed you."

"Sometimes the unconscious knows more than the conscious. Part of me knew then. It took longer for me to be willing to admit it."

"Because you'll lose me? And it would hurt?"

Jack nodded.

"And to think I used to be jealous of Gwen," Ianto said with a huff. "She never had a chance, did she? I was too far under your skin by the time she showed up for it to matter, wasn't she?"

"You finally understand," Jack replied, smirking. He kissed Ianto quickly and chastely, knowing they were at work and Ianto wouldn't allow anything else, not after the antics of the morning and how they almost got caught in the conference room with their trousers down, not with two of the team members right outside the office at their stations.

"Well, two can have trouble admitting to feelings we'd rather keep under wraps," Ianto muttered self-consciously. "Took me a long time, too."

"I'm glad we're beyond keeping things like feelings from each other."

"Me, too." Ianto sighed. He contemplated his next comment for a moment before pushing on. "Jack, I know you still have secrets, and I'm OK with that. Just, know that you can tell me if you want to. I won't ask. And I won't reject you because of things that happened in the past."

Jack reared back in surprise, gasping. "Um…"

Ianto turned to face him and gave him another quick kiss. "Both of us have done things we're not proud of. You know about mine, and I know some of yours, and neither of us is running for the hills yet, right? You've just lived longer and have more of them. You've lived harder lives, done more ruthless things because that was who you were back then. But that's not you anymore, as you keep telling us." He paused. "Someday, I hope you can trust me with them."

Jack nodded. "You're an amazing man, Ianto," he said softly. "I'm lucky to have found you."

Ianto smirked. "You are, sir. I'll remind you of that on a regular basis."

Jack laughed.

They smiled at each other for a moment before Jack left to get a water bottle and grab a book from one of the shelves.


	68. Chapter 68: Meat, pt 3

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 68: Meat, part 3**

A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting. Real life (lots of snow) intervened and I haven't had as much time to write as usual. That aside, here is the last part of Meat. Enjoy!

.

The cog wheel door opened to reveal an upset Gwen. She charged into the Hub.

"I'm not doing it. I won't drug him," she declared loudly. She rushed past the others in the direction of Jack's office.

"You have to," Tosh said, turning from her station.

"We can't allow him to remember," Owen added, putting down his clipboard.

"It's the rules," Ianto finished, standing behind Jack, scotch still in his hand.

Jack stopped reaching for his book. He advanced on Gwen, waiting in front of his office, his captain mask back in place after the emotional conversation with Ianto. Ianto remained a comfortingly stable presence behind him.

"But none of you have partners outside of this," Gwen protested.

"But we know how you feel," Jack said firmly, his thoughts on Ianto and how often she had ignored him, how often he wished he had stood up for their relationship to her, how Ianto might not appreciate their relationship becoming a part of this argument. He decided not to press the issue at that precise moment.

"No you don't!" Gwen said incredulously. "No you don't, Jack. You all think it's cold and lonely out there, but it isn't for me because I have _him_. He matters, and I've lied to him for long enough. What he did today was so brave. Braver than any of us, because we signed up for it. But he did it because he loves me! I won't take that away from him!" She held up her hands and squeezed her fingers into fists in frustration. "And if that means I have to quit, or you retcon me or whatever, then, fine, because I'm not taking that away from him."

Jack raised an eyebrow in disbelief at everything she was saying. He looked over his shoulder at Ianto, who shrugged and deftly caught the water bottle Jack threw in his direction. Jack stepped up close to Gwen, so close that he could feel the puffs of her angry breaths on his skin.

"Are you done?" he asked. Slowly, she nodded, her eyes wide as she waited for his response. "First of all, you are not the center of the universe."

"What —"

"I'm not finished," Jack interrupted. "You are not the only member of Torchwood, and you are not the only one of us here with a partner. Torchwood has been around for over a hundred years, and there have been dozens of relationships between operatives and civilians during that time. You and your situation are not unique! You are not the only one who has lied to a partner, you are not the only one who has cheated on a partner, and you are not the only one who feels guilty about what working for Torchwood does to your relationship."

"Jack —"

"I'm still talking," he snapped angrily. "I've let you get away with a lot, and I'm at my breaking point with you. Are you going to retcon him, or will we have to do it for you? Think about your answer, because if I have to retcon him, I will be retconning you, as well."

"I'm not doing it," she affirmed.

"And you're willing to loose Torchwood?"

"You'd really fire me if I didn't do it? You need me!"

"Not as much as I need a stable team." Jack crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her. "Last chance, Gwen. You really think you could go back to your life before Torchwood if you don't follow my orders?" he asked in a calm, dangerous voice. They stared at each other for a long moment.

"I wouldn't know anything different," Gwen finally said, her voice a challenge, calling his bluff.

Jack took a deep breath. "No, you wouldn't." He turned away from her. "Tosh, go get Rhys, bring him back here. Owen, start getting an amnesia protocol for them both ready. Ianto we'll need to sweep their flat and —"

"Jack, what are you doing?" Gwen demanded, stunned.

"As of this moment, you are no longer an employee of Torchwood," Jack stated in a cold voice. "Give me your security pass and gun."

"What?" she shouted. "You can't do that to me!"

"Gwen, you have to face the consequences of your actions," Jack answered. He turned and walked back to his office where he accepted his water bottle from Ianto and took a drink. He sat behind his desk. "You know the regulations that state that Rhys needs to be retconned. You have said that you would rather quit than do that to him. It sounds to me like you've made your choice to quit." He folded his hands together in front of himself on the desk blotter.

"That's crazy!" Gwen shouted.

Jack ignored her. "Ianto? Please get the necessary paperwork for a termination," he requested. Ianto nodded and turned to the file cabinet behind Jack. Owen dashed across to the autopsy bay, climbing down the stairs to gather the preliminary information needed for a memory wipe of more than a few days. Tosh left through the main door. Ianto handed Jack a few sheets of paper and left the office, moving to Owen's workstation.

When the cog wheel door opened a few minutes later to reveal Tosh leading Rhys back into the Hub, Jack stood up from his desk and pushed his way past Gwen.

"What's going on?" Rhys asked. "I thought we were done for the day?"

Jack indicated for Rhys to lead the way to the autopsy bay. "I'm sorry, but there's one more thing Owen needs to check out," he explained.

The sound of a gun cocking made everyone freeze and turn towards Gwen. She stood next to Jack's office, her gun trained on Jack's head.

"Don't you dare do this, Jack," she warned.

Instantly, three guns were drawn and pointed at her. Jack alone kept his hands free. "We're going to do this without casualties, people," Jack said, raising his hands in front of himself, hoping to calm Gwen by showing that he was unarmed.

"Easy for you to say, freak," Gwen snarled. She pulled the trigger and shot Jack between the eyes. His body collapsed to the floor.

"Jack!" Ianto shouted. Gwen swung her gun around to point at him. He stopped moving.

"Guns down, everyone," she ordered. "Stun gun, too, Ianto." No one moved.

"Gwen!" Rhys shouted. "You just killed him!" He got to his knees next to Jack, a look of horror and revulsion on his face. "You killed him! You fucking killed him!"

"Shut up, Rhys," she growled. "Guns on the floor!" she repeated.

"What's happened to you?" Rhys demanded angrily. "First you lie to me, then you start killing people? This isn't you, Gwennie!"

"I said shut up!" Gwen shouted, firing a warning shot in Rhys' general direction. He fell silent immediately, backing away.

Tosh, so far unnoticed, typed a few commands into her computer terminal. Mainframe spoke. "_Torchwood: Lockdown." _Gwen shot Tosh in the leg, crippling her. The petite Asian woman fell. Owen shouted her name, but Gwen threatened him, holding him back. She backed away from everyone, so that she could keep all three men and Tosh in her sight, as well as Jack's corpse.

Jack gasped back to life, clutching at Rhys, who was closest. Gwen shot him again. "What the fuck's going on here?" Rhys demanded, unable to contain himself any longer. "He was dead! I saw it. And he just moved! He bloody well moved!"

"I'm second in command," Gwen shouted, waving her gun at everyone. "I led the team while Jack was away," she insisted. "You have to do what I say!"

"If anyone's second in command, it's Ianto," Owen said, unable to control the snort of derision in Gwen's direction. "Right, mate? Jack wants you as next in line."

"Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me," Gwen exclaimed. "Ianto? The Teaboy? Jack's bit on the side?"

Ianto struggled against the anger at her words and pushed it down to worry about later. He knew Jack considered him more important than just an office shag. Hadn't the past few months proven that beyond a shadow of a doubt?

"Gwen, everyone, I suggest we all put our guns down so we can talk like rational people," Ianto suggested, putting his own gun on the floor. "We can come up with another solution, Gwen. There's no need to threaten us or kill Jack." Reluctantly, Owen put his gun down as well. Ianto looked imploringly at Gwen. "You see? Just put your gun down, Gwen."

Rhys stood slowly and backed away from Jack's body. Tosh, clutching her leg, hissed in pain, drawing Gwen's attention briefly. "Gwen, listen to Ianto, please," she whispered. "We don't want to hurt you. We can work something out."

Jack came back to life a second time, quieter, but with no less thrashing. Rhys shouted in surprise.

"He's alive again!"

"You're wrong, Jack," Gwen muttered. "You're wrong and I can't stand looking at you." The other three Torchwood members gaped at her use of two of Jack's trigger phrases so openly. Jack's eyes narrowed. A darkness passed over his face and settled there. Jack became a blur of motion.

Gwen fired, once, twice. Jack's leg and shoulder bloomed red from the bullet wounds. He continued advancing as if he couldn't feel the pain. She fired again. Three, four, five. Knee, shoulder, chest. Still, Jack advanced. He had her disarmed and on the ground in the blink of an eye. No one saw him move.

"Cuffs!" Jack yelled at no one in particular. "Stun gun!" Gwen thrashed like a banshee underneath him, spewing profanities, threats and Jack's trigger words as she struggled against him.

Tosh threw Jack the cuffs and gun one-handed, the other still clutching her bleeding thigh. He secured Gwen's hands behind her back and knocked her out with the thousand-watt charge. He looked around at the rest of his team. Owen rushed to Tosh's side and began treating her wound. Ianto went up to Jack and held him from behind. Rhys collapsed onto the sofa, muttering to himself and looking lost.

"Ianto, get her in a cell, strip her, jewelry and everything. Give her scrubs or something to wear. Food and water for 24 hours. That's it. Then come back to me," Jack finished tiredly. He closed his eyes as he leaned back against Ianto's warm chest. His breath gurgled in his chest, blood still seeping from the bullet hole. "It'll be a bad night," he added unnecessarily before dying.

"Jack," Ianto whispered, clutching his body tightly.

"Ianto, status?" Owen barked.

"Jack's dead again. I've got to get Gwen to a cell."

"I'll need help with Tosh."

"Can she wait for Jack to revive again? I don't want to leave him."

"Yes," Tosh said, speaking for herself. "You need to be there for him." Ianto nodded and continued holding Jack, murmuring soft endearments in Welsh in his ear.

"Fucking Teaboy and fucking Jack," Owen grumbled. "Pain OK, Tosh?"

"You just gave me something. I'll be fine for a little while."

Jack gasped back to life, struggling against Ianto's hold until he remembered where he was and realized who was holding him. He reached up to grab Ianto's neck and pull him down for a quick kiss. "Thanks, _ashe,"_ he said. Ianto helped him up, then gathered Gwen and carried her away to the cells. Jack wiped off his hands on a blood-free patch of his trousers and went to Tosh and Owen. "What do you need?"

"Let's get her to the table," Owen said. "Between the two of us we can carry her without any further damage." They worked quickly and with minimal conversation to get Tosh bandaged and treated, then carried her over to the couch Rhys hastily vacated. She dozed off as Owen covered her with a blanket. Without looking up, Owen asked Jack how he was doing.

"I'll have nightmares again tonight," Jack said simply, knowing Owen was referring to the trauma triggers Gwen had been throwing around so maliciously. "Ianto will be with me. It's been five nights without them, so it'll be a bit of a shock."

"Any immediate reactions?" Owen wanted to know. "Anything we'll have to deal with now?"

"Usual nausea, some shakiness, but once I get a shower, I'll be better. It was getting killed so quickly in succession that was the worst part. The words didn't effect me all that much, at least in the moment."

Owen nodded to himself. "I'm all set for a while and won't need you," Owen said. "Take care of yourself. I'll send Ianto over and entertain Rhys until you're ready to debrief."

"Thanks," Jack replied, disappearing towards his office, already stripping off his shirt and undershirt to drop them on the floor. Owen and Rhys watched him go.

"You want to maybe tell me what's going on, now?" Rhys asked.

"I'll get the beer," Owen offered. "It's going to be a long day."

***TW TW TW***

Ianto joined Jack in the shower just a few minutes after Jack turned it on. Without saying anything, they held each other tightly and kissed a few times. Ianto turned Jack to face the wall and took him gently but quickly, before they washed each other with shower gel. Jack moaned at the scalp massage Ianto gave him as he shampooed his hair. They turned off the water and dried themselves. Once dressed, Jack sat on his bed. Ianto settled next to him, took his hand. They leaned against each other for a long time, still not talking.

"I guess the shit hit the fan before we expected it to," Jack said with a resigned sigh. "What do we do now?"

"It's up to you," Ianto replied. "She's broken retcon before, but we'd be taking a lot more memories this time. I don't relish having to execute her."

"I'm not doing that. I've seen too many people killed to do it lightly. We'll just have to plan out the amnesia protocols very carefully, for both of them, and liaise with the police to see if they'll take her back and be willing to never mention Torchwood around her."

"Seems unlikely that would happen," Ianto muttered. "We deal with them so often. She's bound to end up on one of our cases at some point."

"I wish I'd listened to you all those months ago," Jack whispered, running his fingers through his hair. "You know, when you said you didn't think she was good fit for us. I was just so angry at you back then because of your indecision about being with me. I wish I hadn't hired her. She's been trouble ever since."

"There have been some advantages to having her. We've needed the extra field agent," Ianto pointed out. "And you didn't know about Lisa, then. I wouldn't have been indecisive if she hadn't been in the picture. You know that."

"Yeah. We've covered that. In the meantime, we'll have to find another field agent. Maybe two. I don't want you to go out there too often anymore, not after today."

"Jack, I don't appreciate being kept back here just because you're worried something might happen to me. I'm fully trained for the field, now. I can look after myself."

Jack sighed, loudly and sadly. "Until we have more people, I'm going to worry. Hell, I'm always going to worry. I'm going to be afraid for you, for what could happen."

"Nothing we can do about that," Ianto said. "But we need to deal with Gwen. Can we focus on that right now? Deal with your fears and mine later?"

"You know, depending on how Rhys reacts to all of this, I might still consider hiring him," Jack said, laying back. Ianto shifted, finding a semi-comfortable position on the small bed. "Replace Gwen with him. We could change the tourist office to a haulage firm, use his expertise. Get you out of there to take on some of Gwen's tasks while we find someone else to do them."

"Would you train him to be in the field?" Ianto asked. He toed off his shoes and resettled himself more comfortably against Jack's side.

"He'd need a lot of training. He's not in that good shape, from what I can see."

"I'm sure Owen would come up with a plan for him that's only partially motivated by jealousy," Ianto snarked.

"Shit, I forgot about that. Are he and Gwen still sleeping together?"

"Not in a while. But he and Rhys would have to have a conversation about it if they're going to work together."

"But you don't think it's a bad idea?"

"Do you consider me your second in command?" Ianto blurted out suddenly. His cheeks immediately went pink.

"Of course I do," Jack exclaimed. "Why wouldn't you think so? I mean, we're talking about all this, making this decision together… That's how we've been doing everything since I came back."

"I thought it was because we were lovers," Ianto admitted, still embarrassed. "But today, when you were dead one of those times, Gwen tried to say she was, and Owen said that I was. I didn't know."

"Ianto," Jack said firmly, moving to take Ianto's head in both his hands and holding him still so their eyes met and held. "You are my friend, my lover, and my _ashe. _But, yes, you're my second in command, too. I told you in that letter I wanted you to lead in my absence. That hasn't changed. That makes you my second."

"I just — I didn't really believe it."

Jack let go of Ianto's face and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Believe it, sweetheart. I'll even put it in writing, make it official, so everyone knows. But I think they know, anyway."

"I'm sorry, Jack. I just don't have your confidence in me."

"We'll work on that, OK?"

"Sure."

"Now, do you think we should do this thing with Rhys?"

Ianto paused, thinking. "It has certain advantages. Let's see how the meeting about Gwen goes, and how he reacts to everything. We don't have to decide right now."

"True. I think Owen was going to fill him in on my situation, so that's something. I don't think I can talk about the _Valiant. _We can go over the Torchwood charter, the Doctor, all that. See if he sees a place for himself here."

"If he does, Gwen will still have access to us."

"Which she might need, if she ever breaks the retcon."

"You're turning into a real softie, aren't you," Ianto teased, kissing Jack's cheek.

"The longer I'm with you, the softer I'm getting," Jack mused, running a finger along Ianto's hand. "The more scared I get."

"Love is a scary thing," Ianto said philosophically. "The more you love, the more vulnerable you are, to fears, doubts, pain. You said so yourself to Gwen yesterday. You just have to decide if it's worth it to have all that bad stuff."

"It's worth it," Jack declared decisively. "You're worth it."

Ianto smiled and leaned to kiss Jack on the mouth. "So are you," he whispered as their lips touched. "We're both new people because of this," he continued. "I like who I'm becoming. I love who I'm becoming, actually. And I love who you are, who you're becoming. I love knowing that you're becoming this new you because of me, because of our relationship."

Jack returned the smile. "Good."


	69. Chapter 69: Meat, pt 4

**Torchwood Files**

**Chapter 69: Meat, part 4**

A/N: This is a short chapter to tide everyone over until I get the Adam chapters finished and edited. Enjoy!

.

Ianto followed Jack into the conference room, a tray of coffee in his hands. He busied himself with distributing it around the table. Tosh, now awake, eagerly accepted the mocha he offered. Owen nodded his thanks, while Rhys was more vocal. Jack moaned obscenely. Everyone ignored him, except Rhys, who looked at Jack with a strange expression on his face. Ianto cleared away half a dozen beer bottles before taking his own seat. Jack cleared his throat and began the meeting.

"All right, team, we have a lot to discuss today. First, thank you for keeping your heads cool while all this went down. You especially, Rhys. You've seen a lot of things in the past two days, and it seems like you're handling it very well."

"Some things better than others," Rhys muttered, hiding behind his coffee.

Jack nodded. "Secondly, I am formally declaring Ianto as my second in command. He's been in that capacity unofficially since I returned, but I wanted all of you to know that this is the chain of command. Owen, you're after Ianto."

"Got it," Owen said.

"What's the medical report?" Jack asked.

Owen shuffled through a few pages in front of him before answering. "Tosh will be fine. Simple bullet wound. She'll need crutches for a week or so, then another week of light work before I can consider clearing her for the field. Rhys' condition hasn't changed from when we let him go with Gwen before. Gwen's still out cold from the stun gun, and I didn't see anything concerning when I looked her over. Other than her attack on us, of course. Nothing's wrong with me or Ianto." He paused. "I haven't had a chance to look at you, Jack. Anything you'd like us to know?"

"No. I'll be fine in a few days. Ianto knows what I'll need, and he's already ordered lunch."

"If I may…?" Rhys said tentatively.

"Yes, Rhys?"

"You, um, do you have some kind of special condition, or something? Owen says you can't die, but you sure looked dead to me. I mean, it's all a little nuts, if you ask me, but I saw it with my own eyes, didn't I?"

Jack smiled grimly. "I was dead three times just now. Something happened to me a long time ago, and I can't stay dead. I'll be like this for a long long time."

"Huh."

Ianto's PDA beeped and he excused himself to get lunch from the tourist office. Jack explained Torchwood's purpose, how it was founded, and the Doctor's role in it all. He described one of his adventures with the Doctor to make the point that while Torchwood had been formed to protect the country from him, the Doctor wasn't actually the issue. He had just started going over some pertinent historical dates either Torchwood or the Doctor had hands in when Ianto returned. Jack immediately took a sandwich and started eating.

"Jack, that's your third sandwich," Owen commented when Jack reached for the platter yet again. "I know you've got a high metabolism, but this is more than you usually eat."

Jack mumbled something around the huge bite in his mouth. Ianto handed him a napkin. Jack tried again. "I spiked my biochemistry before when dealing with Gwen and have been holding the resultant crash at bay for the last hour or so. I need extra food to make up for the calories I burned."

Owen nodded as if this made sense. Ianto handed Jack a fourth sandwich and a third bottle of water. "Be glad it's sandwiches this time," Ianto said. "Last time I saw it he ate two gallons of ice cream at a sitting."

"And a pizza!" Jack interjected.

"And a pizza," Ianto muttered with a sigh.

"But what does that mean?" Tosh asked. "That you spiked your biochemistry?"

"When I'm from," Jack began.

"Wait! '_When_ I'm from?' What on Earth does that mean?" Rhys demanded.

"I'm not from Earth," Jack replied. "In fact, I'm not from this time, either. I was born in the 51st Century, over 3000 years in your future."

"The future?"

"Yes. Anyway, when I come from, humans tend to have higher metabolisms, faster reflexes, and more attuned senses than you 21st Century lot. But I worked for the Time Agency, and they taught me how to consciously alter my body's chemistry, such as creating a massive adrenaline rush, blocking pain centers in the brain, and speeding up natural healing abilities, all of which I did earlier. Since my — condition, I've been able to control the responses much better and more fully. I can flush drugs from my system, change my hormone levels, regulate my metabolism and pheromones. I've practiced a lot. And been practiced on, unfortunately."

Ianto rested his hand on Jack's knee under the table. Jack continued. "It takes a lot out of me to do it, and I try not to do it very often, but today's events required it."

"He crashes afterwards," Ianto added. "I've only seen it two or three times, but he sleeps for twenty-four to forty-eight hours and eats more than you can imagine."

"When are you going to crash?" Owen asked. "Can you control that, too?"

"I have some control over it," Jack answered. "Once we get things squared away here, I'll take care of myself." He guzzled his fourth bottle of water, then refused the sandwich Ianto offered. "Biscuits," he said, a twinkle in his eye. Attempting to look annoyed, Ianto smiled slightly as he gave Jack a packet of chocolate biscuits. Jack grinned at him, all teeth and affection, eliciting a small flush on Ianto's cheeks. He resumed eating his own meal.

"Two things," Jack said, holding up his fingers as he counted them off. "First, we need to decide what to do with Gwen. Second, we need to decide what to do with Rhys. Before you protest," he hurried to add, holding up a hand to forestall Rhys from talking. "You're here in this meeting to help us make those choices. Ianto, please explain to Rhys what the options are in regards to Gwen."

Ianto hastily finished his coffee and wiped his mouth. "I'll start at the worst, then move to the better options." He took a moment to put his thoughts in order before he met Rhys' eyes. "Officially, what Gwen did today is considered treason to the Crown, to be punished by execution."

"What?!" Rhys shouted, standing so quickly his chair fell over. "What the hell kind of bullshit is this?"

"All Torchwood employees work for the Crown," Jack said. "By killing me, by shooting Tosh and by threatening everyone, she committed treasonous acts. Not only am I the director of Torchwood, but I'm a personal friend of the Queen."

"She committed treason? And she murdered you? Not once, but three times?"

"Yes," Jack declared harshly.

Rhys righted his chair and fell back into it. They sat silently for a few minutes while he digested what they had just told him. "Um, what are the other options?" he finally asked. "You said there were others?"

"The second option is to have her imprisoned by UNIT," Ianto said. Tosh gasped, but otherwise said nothing. "This means that she would cease to exist. She would not be allowed visitors, and would not be able to return to regular society, barring special intervention. And Jack would make sure that the people who could intervene wouldn't.

"Third," Ianto continued, "is for her memory of the last two years to be wiped and for her to be placed into a psychiatric facility, such as Providence Park."

"So far, that's the best," Rhys muttered. "I don't like it, though."

"Of course not," Ianto agreed. "The last option is for us to wipe her memory of the last two years and for you to move away from Cardiff with her. You would never be able to return, because being here might trigger her memories. This is assuming you want a life with her, of course."

"She can't be allowed to have her memories of Torchwood," Jack explained. "It's a danger to herself as well as the country."

"And you can just take away her memories?" Rhys demanded.

"We have a drug called retcon," Owen said. It's usually used as a short-term memory eraser, a few days, up to a week, but in more extreme situations it can be used for longer periods of time. We would have someone from UNIT monitoring her to make sure that she's healthy and that her memories don't return. It would be too risky for me to do it."

"And where to I fit in all this, huh?" Rhys asked.

"You have options also," Jack said. "Ianto?"

"The easiest plan is for you to take enough retcon to forget the last two days. We'll arrange it so that you and Gwen will wake up in hospital after an accident, and that she'll have much more memory loss because of it than you. At that point you would take her and move away. Alternatively, we could wipe as much of your memory as we do of hers, and relocate you, provide you with a suitable job and housing."

"There's a third option," Jack added into the silence following Ianto's statements. "You could come work for me."

"You mean be a part of all this bullshit?" Rhys demanded angrily. "It'll be a cold day in hell before that ever happens, I can tell you that, mate."

"He doesn't like the idea of working for us," Jack stage-whispered to Ianto.

"I didn't think he would accept," Ianto replied. "Think about your options, Rhys. We can give you a week to decide."

"And what'll happen to Gwen in the meantime?"

"She stays here, in the cells. We won't mistreat her, but she can't leave here until there's a firm plan in place."

"You're nutters, the lot of you," Rhys muttered after a long tense moment. "Aliens? Treason? What did I get myself into here?"

"Torchwood," Jack replied with a feral grin.


	70. Chapter 70: Adam

**Torchwood Files: Season Two**

**Chapter 70: Adam**

A/N: Haven't done a disclaimer in a while, so here it goes: I did not create these characters and am not making money by using them.

This is one of the more awkward episodes...though I like seeing how different Tosh and Owen are, just for a bit of fun. Because it's neither my favorite episode nor much fun to write, this is a one-chapter episode. Reset is next. Dun dun duuunnnn. Warnings: mentions of sex. No actual sex.

.

For the second time in as many weeks, Ianto woke up alone in bed. This time, the alarm was silent. He stretched, yawning, feeling a twinge in his arm where a Weevil had gotten him last night. He examined the bandage. _Looks like Jack re-dressed it before he left, _he thought.

_Wait, the angle of the light is wrong! _Panicking slightly, Ianto turned to look at his alarm clock.

"_Don't be mad!" _said a note in Jack's distinctive handwriting that was propped in front of the clock. Ianto picked it up to read the message inside, noting that it was almost eleven. _Shit, how did I sleep so long? _he demanded of himself. _Oh, wait, it was a combination of two weeks without a fifth person at work and having sex in the SUV for an hour or two after Owen patched me up from the run-in with the Weevil. _He opened the note.

.

_Ianto —_

_As your boss, I'm giving you the morning off. You need the rest, even though we're still short-handed. Owen will use the dermal regenerator on your arm now that it's had a few hours to heal on its own. _

_As your boyfriend, I want you rested and feeling better. We've all been too stressed lately. Take care of yourself this morning. Go to lunch, do that shopping you've wanted to do for the last three weeks. Come in when you're ready. As a consequence of all this, we're on the night shift. You won't mind sharing my bed, will you? ;-) _

_Oh, and can you remember to schedule those three interviews for Friday? The Rift looks like it will be quiet. I think we decided on that lieutenant from UNIT, Gwen's old partner from the police and that ex-CIA guy with the odd name. If two of the three seem possible, we'll be golden._

_See you when you get here,_

— _Jack_

.

Ianto smiled and moved to the bathroom for a shower.

.

***TW TW TW***

.

The smell of fresh coffee permeated the Hub when Ianto arrived, causing his shoulders to bunch in annoyance. He glanced around, noting Tosh and Owen at their stations, and Jack leaning over Tosh's shoulder to look at something on one of her monitors. He stepped forward and rested a hand on Jack's arm.

"Jack, who have you let touch my coffee machine?" he asked, trying to keep the annoyance from his voice and failing. "We've been through this more times than I'd care to count." Jack tilted his head as he regarded Ianto from under narrowed eyes.

"You're late," Jack snapped. He turned back to Tosh.

"You said I could have the morning off," Ianto replied, annoyance turning into confusion.

"That's right. The morning. It's almost two."

"I'm sorry, Jack. I'll be sure to clarify with you next time. I'll just get to work, then." Ianto hung up his coat on the rack and started moving towards the Archives. He wondered what had gotten Jack into such a grumpy mood.

"Wait, Ianto. Can you bring me coffee in my office?" Jack asked, sounding less angry and more like himself.

"Sure," Ianto replied, changing direction. "You never told me who's been using my coffee machine," he said to Jack as he put a mug in front of him a few minutes later. "I had to clean the whole thing, top to bottom." He took his accustomed seat on the other side of Jack's desk, since Jack didn't seem to be in the mood to have Ianto leaning against the desk right next to him. He sipped his coffee and waited.

"Adam, of course," Jack answered. "But that's not the real issue here, Ianto. We have an arrangement, and it seems you've been taking advantage of it lately."

"What do you mean?"

Jack sighed in frustration and ran his fingers through his hair. "I've told you many times not to call me Jack unless we're alone. What we do after hours is between us, and the team isn't to know, understand? That's what we agreed to."

Ianto froze, staring at Jack with wide eyes. "What?" he whispered, barely able to get the word out. "That's —"

"Don't push me on this, Ianto. We're short-staffed without Gwen, and I need to know I can count on you to be your usual self. We can't let our arrangement cloud our working relationship."

"Um —"

"Jack? Are you almost done with Ianto?" a male voice said behind Ianto. "I need his help in the Archives."

Jack waved Ianto away. "Sure. We were done, weren't we, Ianto?"

"Yes, sir," Ianto said stiffly, still unsure as to what was going on in Jack's head. He turned to face the red-haired man in Jack's doorway. "Who the hell is this?" he demanded. This was no one Ianto had ever seen. "Jack, did you hire someone and didn't tell me?" he growled. Jack and the man tensed.

Before Jack could answer, the man put a hand on Ianto's shoulder, a finger brushing against the skin of his neck that was revealed at his hairline. "Just 'cause that's what I said to you on your first day?" the man said. "Remember?"

_Ianto remembered…_

_Adam showing him the Archives on his first day, explaining the organizational system and showing him how to handle artifacts…_

_Adam teaching him how to make the second-best coffee ever, praising him that he was a natural, but still needed practice… teasing Ianto that he felt possessive about the coffee machine even though everyone knew it was Adam's specialty…_

_Adam and Jack returning to the Hub late one night, a sedated pteradon between them. Jack joking about what almost happened in the warehouse and Adam saying he wasn't interested in kissing a bloke, but perhaps Ianto might be…_

_Adam trying to convince Jack not to kill Lisa…failing, but at least he tried…_

_Adam rescuing him from the cannibals, gun blazing…_

_Adam comforting him on the Hub's beat up sofa one night because Ianto wanted more from his relationship with Jack than just being a part-time shag…_

_Adam standing up to Owen when he wanted to open the Rift, Ianto joining his side. Adam shooting Owen, though the Rift was opened anyway…_

_Adam taking over leading Torchwood while Jack was away, making sure everything ran smoothly…_

_Adam disarming Gwen before she could do much damage, then refusing to let Jack kill her, telling him retcon would be the better solution…_

"Sorry! Couldn't resist!" Ianto exclaimed, grinning. Everyone in the room relaxed. Jack smiled at them both. Adam went away, reminding Ianto to come to the Archives as soon as he was done with Jack. "I'm sorry, sir, about forgetting our —"

"It's all right, Ianto. I just wanted to remind you. Will you stay tonight?"

Ianto's lips twitched at the corners, not quite a smile, but good enough, he hoped. "Of course."

.

***TW TW TW***

.

Ianto lay in Jack's bed, naked and freshly showered. He began stroking himself, imagining all the things Jack might want to do. He pictured Jack's glistening sweat-soaked skin, the lines of his body, the firmness of his muscles. He wondered if Jack would be in the mood to bottom, though he doubted it, after how tense Jack had been all day. It didn't really matter, either way, since Ianto loved bottoming, and Jack knew how to make each time memorable in one way or another.

_And maybe,_ he thought, _maybe we'll be able to talk now that we're alone and guaranteed time together. Something's been off all day. _

When Jack climbed down into the bunker, a huge smile for Ianto on his face, Ianto felt himself relax. A pleasurable and exhausting evening followed. Ianto collapsed onto his front, no longer able to stay up on his hands and knees after a mind-blowing orgasm. Jack lay on top of him for a few minutes.

"You can stay here tonight, if you want," Jack murmured, planting a kiss on Ianto's shoulder. "It's late and it looks like I've tired you out." He kissed the back of Ianto's neck.

Ianto sighed. "Just give me a few minutes to catch my breath and we can go back to my flat."

"Your flat?" Jack asked, confused. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Ianto took the opportunity to roll onto his back and stretch out. "Ianto, I don't go to your flat. I've never been to your flat. That's not part of what we do."

"Of course it is!" Ianto exclaimed incredulously. "You practically live there."

Jack shook his head and stood. He started gathering his clothes. "I don't know what you're talking about," Jack muttered. "I think we should have Owen take a look at you in the morning. First you forget Adam, then you forget all this. It's like you have a whole bunch of memories of us that I don't have, that don't exist."

"But it's true, Jack. We love each other," Ianto insisted.

Jack finished buttoning his shirt. "I don't do love, Ianto. I don't do whatever it is you think we've been doing. I'm going out. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Where are you going?" Ianto demanded, scared to hear the answer but needing to ask nonetheless.

"It's early enough that the clubs are still open. I'll see who I can pull. Don't wait up," Jack growled.

Ianto shut his eyes and tried to hold back the tears that were threatening, but they started falling anyway. He curled on his side and sobbed into Jack's pillow as Jack climbed the ladder from the bunker, leaving Ianto alone with his sorrow.

.

***TW TW TW***

.

Jack stood on the roof of his current favorite building, perilously close to the edge. He let the wind ruffle his hair and coat. He stared into the night sky, and at the city below him. The city that was so different from where he was born.

_Why am I suddenly thinking of home? _he asked himself. _Those memories, I've buried them so far down, so far back in my head. I closed off those memories when I was a Time Agent specifically so I wouldn't be tempted to go back and change that day, so I wouldn't alter history. All I know is basic facts about my family. Those boxes, the rest of it, it should all be safe! I buried the mnemonic, too. I don't even know what it is! _

_But if the memories were triggered by the mnemonic, I would have them all back. I would have years of memories, rather than just a few snatches here and there. And that day… the day I lost Gray and my father… That one day, the worst day of my life… I shouldn't be able to even __touch_ _that! _

_Something's going on. Ianto is acting like we have some kind of relationship when he knows full-well that it's just after hours sex. Tosh and Adam have been extra affectionate today, like they've just gotten together. And Owen…does he wear glasses? I don't remember that at all. A small thing, but all of it adds up to strange. _

***TW TW TW***

Jack rushed into the darkened Hub, heading for his bunker, hoping Ianto would still be there. He'd only been gone an hour. Behind him, a noise startled him.

"Jack." Ianto's voice was rough, cracked. A whisper in the dark.

"Ianto?" Jack turned to him, walking a few steps in his direction. Ianto sat against some steps, looking disheveled. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"You have to put me in the vaults," Ianto answered. "Lock me up. I killed three girls. Strangled them."

"Stop kidding around," Jack ordered.

"I'm serious," Ianto declared. "I murdered them in cold blood." He paused. "I took their bodies," he added, staggering to his feet, punching the grating behind him. He advanced on Jack, glancing around as if worried that someone would jump out of the darkness to attack him. "You have to lock me away. Before I turn on you. None of you are safe!"

"Hey!" Jack shouted, grabbing Ianto by the shoulders. "Hey, come here. Come here." He met Ianto's scared eyes. "What's happened to you?" He pulled Ianto into an embrace, holding the back of his head.

Ianto shifted slightly, raising his face. "I'm a monster," he whispered in Jack's ear, his voice full of pain, uncertainty and fright.

A monster…The word flew around Jack's brain, gaining strength, gaining power.

_A monster…_

_A freak…_

_Wrong…you're wrong…_

_I can't help it, Jack, you're just wrong…_

_Monster…freak…_

_Oh look, it's the girlie and the freak. Although I'm not sure which is which… _

_You're a freak, Harkness, and I'm going to enjoy killing you for my Master…_

_Wrong…freak…wrong…monster…_

_You really __are_ _a monster… I can see why the Master hates you so much…_

_Monster…freak…wrong…_

_I'm wrong, Ianto, the Doctor called me wrong…_

_Well, that's a load of bollocks…There's nothing wrong with you…_

_Ha'asha heh, Jack'ha__, I love you, my Jack…_

_Love you…love you…love you…_

_Jack, __ashe'ha_…

Something clicked in Jack's brain and memories flooded him. He staggered, clutching at Ianto to keep standing, however Ianto was weak and they both landed on the floor in a heap and a tangle of limbs. Jack felt tears on his own cheeks as he hugged Ianto even closer.

"Ianto, I love you," he breathed. "I _do_ love you. Something made me forget. I'm so sorry! Please forgive me. Please," he begged, stroking Ianto's neck and the back of his head. "Please forgive me."

"I do, Jack. Of course I forgive you." Ianto raised his arms to hold Jack. "You still need to lock me up," he insisted. "I killed those girls."

"No! There's got to be something going on. If I can forget how I feel about you, the first person I've ever truly loved enough to call _ashe, _you can make up these memories. Come on, I've got a great lie detector."

.

***TW TW TW***

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Jack was almost finished with his preparations before he was to go down to the cells and finish the job with Adam. He wiped the CCTV and convinced Mainframe to help him. He deleted any files Adam had added or modified on the system. On his final sweep of the Hub, he found Ianto's diary on the floor, with a yellow sticky note on the inside cover in Ianto's handwriting.

"_Jack, read this. All of this. It's important."_

He left the diary on his desk where he would find it after taking the retcon. If Ianto wanted him to read it, read it he would. That was their agreement, made months ago when they went on their second unofficial date, before he'd left with the Doctor. He glanced at the first few pages. The diary was only a few months old, starting the day after Jack returned from his travels with the Doctor. His eyes widened as he realized that Ianto transcribed entire conversations from memory before commenting on them, for some of the entries. Others were more free-flowing. He closed the book and ran his fingers over the cover.

"You trust me with all of your secrets, don't you?" he murmured to the absent Ianto, who was still sleeping in the conference room with Owen and Tosh after taking retcon. "I should start trusting you with more of mine. It's just hard. I keep so much hidden, even from myself. But I'll try. I promise I'll try."

He hastily scribbled a note to himself to remind him of that promise.

***TW TW TW***

Ianto sat in his office in the Archives, drumming his fingers on the leather cover of his diary. He fingered the yellow sticky note that had been on the inside cover. _Jack read my diary, _he thought, slightly panicked. _Why would he do that, even with this note? We have an agreement he wouldn't, unless I left it for him. Shit! The note means I left it for him to read, but none of us remember the last two days. I must have thought it was important for him to read it at the time… _

_Does this mean he knows everything I've been thinking and feeling since he got back? Does this mean he knows —_

"I only read a few paragraphs before I came to my senses," Jack said, startling him. He turned to see Jack leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest in the familiar relaxed pose. "The way I see it, if I read it before, I don't remember, and if you want me to, you'll have to tell me again. I didn't think it was right to just assume I could still read it without making sure."

"Um, thanks," Ianto said weakly. He sighed. "I just wish I knew what happened!"

Jack pushed himself off the wall and draped himself over Ianto from behind, wrapping his arms around him. He kissed Ianto's temple. "I lost two years, once," he whispered. "I woke up one day and it was two years later than I expected it to be. I'll never get those memories back, and I'll never know what I did. That's why I left the Time Agency. They stole those two years from me."

"What happened?"

"I became a con artist. That's how I met the Doctor. I was trying to sell a chula ambulance as a warship back in 1941. I caused a lot of problems, almost killed the whole population of the planet by accident, but he was able to fix it. Then I redeemed myself by being willing to die to protect the hospital. He took me in, and that's how our adventures began."

"I think I can picture you as a con artist," Ianto mused. "You've got the charm for it." Jack grinned and bit Ianto's ear. "Hey!"

"You think I'm charming?"

"Well, I don't think I'd give up a life of heterosexuality for a bloke who's not, do you? You're beautiful, Jack."

Jack released him and pulled over a spare chair. "Do you think about it like that? Giving it up?" he asked seriously.

Ianto paused briefly, thinking. "I'm going to be with you — _just_ you — for the rest of my life. I don't think it matters what or who I was before. I'm happy now. Happier than I ever was with Lisa. You don't expect me to change for you, or do anything in particular. There are no rules for this, unlike with her. I don't have to think about what you might want that I'm not ready for, like marriage and children. I don't have to guess nearly as much about what you're thinking. Sure, it took a while to get used to the idea of being with you, but it's also a relief, too."

"A relief?"

"Well, I won't have to mourn you. I know it sounds selfish, but I need something solid in my life. I've lost too much and too many people. I hate it when you die, and it makes me feel sick to my stomach, but you always come back. I don't have to worry that I'll be alone again. I tasted that when you were away, and it nearly killed me."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you had to go, Jack."

"I'm still sorry I hurt you."

"I know."

They sat in silence for several minutes before Jack slapped his hands on his knees and pushed himself up into a standing position. He held out his hand. "Come on. I'm taking you out."

Ianto raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"How about that French place? The one you like?"

Ianto smiled and took Jack's hand. "Sounds good. Tosh and Owen are willing to watch the Rift tonight?"

"I think they need some time alone. It seems Owen did something in the last two days that required an apology, and I'd like to give them the privacy to try to work it out. Those flowers were huge, after all, weren't they?"

"Because the Hub is the best place to be when you decide to date someone," Ianto snarked.

"As long as Owen gets his head out of the sand and takes her out soon, I don't care if they're dating or not," Jack said, leading Ianto out of the Archives.

In the main Hub, Ianto helped Jack into his coat and put his own on while Jack conferred with their teammates. "See you in the morning," he said with a small wave as he headed for the garage.

Jack fell into step beside him. "Did we ever schedule those interviews?"

"They're not in the calendar, so, no, I don't think so."

"Good. I want to hold off on them. I think the four of us can manage for a little longer, and something tells me that I don't want anyone new on the team just yet."

"Hmm, I get a bad taste in my mouth just thinking about it," Ianto replied.

"Enough shop talk. Let's go enjoy ourselves," Jack said with a grin as they approached the SUV and their cars. "You want to drive, or shall I?"

"Seeing as I want to get there in one piece, I'll drive tonight," Ianto answered with a smirk, moving to the driver's side of his Saab.

"Cheeky bastard," Jack muttered affectionately. He smacked Ianto's ass and kissed his cheek on his way around the car.


	71. Chapter 71: Reset, Prologue

**Torchwood Files: Season Two**

**Chapter 71: Reset, Prologue**

A/N: As you read this, remember that I have a plan. One that has been in my mind since I began the story. Warnings for character death. And now...

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Later, they would say that it all happened so fast, too fast to understand until much later. A lifetime in a single second. An eternity in a minute. Forever in an hour. Jack's life in a day.

It started with Owen and Aaron Copley pointing guns at each other, arguing. A normal day for Torchwood. Guns, aliens, yelling. Only this time, it was a human who was torturing and experimenting on the aliens, instead of the other way around. And this time, Martha Jones, former Companion of the Doctor, was with them.

Martha, who had to be protected more than themselves because of her history with the strange alien that had given Jack a purpose in life before taking it away again. The alien who had called him "wrong" right before a year of torture. Who had casually said after the year of hell: "I really don't mind, though. Come with me." But all Jack could think of in that moment was Ianto. So he had left behind his Doctor, no longer wanting the adventure he spent over a century waiting for because he needed Ianto with him if he was going to stay away from Cardiff for any longer than he already had. And the Doctor wasn't one to do the waiting himself.

Then Ianto pushed Owen out of the way as a gun went off because he felt that Torchwood needed a medic more than a Teaboy. Though, if truth be told, not as much as Jack Harkness needed Ianto, but Ianto wasn't thinking of that in this precise moment. Nor was he thinking about the fact that he hadn't been _just the Teaboy_ in a very long time, but that was more about his own insecurities than anything else. Hadn't Owen told Gwen that _Ianto_ was second in command just a few weeks ago? Hadn't Jack written up an official memo stating that fact? Still, in the moment, Ianto needed to save Owen.

Blood bloomed on Ianto's chest as Jack shot Copley between the eyes, killing him instantly without thought or remorse, acting purely on instinct, before Ianto even hit the ground. Jack had proven he was good at those kinds of instinctual life or death decisions.

Again, Torchwood was not without its dangers, and Ianto had been shot before. Jack had killed before. Jack had even killed people for hurting Ianto before. But this was different from a village of cannibals. This was different than facing an alien blowfish set on destroying Ianto's confidence while killing innocents. This was different from all the other times before, because this time – this time Ianto Jones died.

And Jack screamed. He fell to his knees and screamed as if his heart were being ripped from his body. He screamed as if his very soul were breaking in two. He screamed as if the stars were dying in the skies and all life had long since passed on. He screamed as if he were the last creature in the entire universe, in all of existence, in all of time. _Alone_.

And it didn't matter that Tosh was clinging to him and crying. It didn't matter that Owen and Martha were frantically trying to bring Ianto back from a bullet that had killed him as soon as it pierced his heart. It didn't matter that a blue police box was in the process of materializing out of thin air with a wheezing clank and the very alien Doctor who could possibly be the answers to Jack's prayers.

Ianto died and Jack screamed. And screamed. And _screamed. _


	72. Chapter 72: Reset, part 1

**Torchwood Files: Season Two**

**Chapter 72: Reset, part 1**

A/N: 13 reviews so far, in less than 2 days, all asking the same thing. As you requested, I'm updating quickly.

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"Ianto? Where's my black waistcoat?" Jack called.

Ianto, still in the shower, sighed. "At the flat," he answered.

"What about your scarlet shirt? I want you to look good for Martha's visit!"

"Also at the flat," Ianto said, shutting off the water. He grabbed a towel and began drying himself off.

"And my royal blue shirt?"

"At the flat."

Ianto stepped into the bedroom to see Jack, naked, staring into the sparsely filled closet, his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face.

"Where's all our stuff?" Jack demanded. He flipped past the two light blue shirts and the light green one that he refused to let Ianto get rid of, finding a plain white shirt. He flicked through Ianto's side, which contained two suits and three shirts. He wandered to the laundry basket and dumped it out on the floor. "There's practically nothing here!"

Ianto shrugged and started getting dressed. "Everything else is at the flat, Jack. It's been over two weeks since we slept here at the Hub."

"Really?" Jack tilted his head to jog his memory. "But we've had sex here. A lot of it."

"Yes, but then we've gone home."

"Home?" Jack mused. "I like that. Home to our flat." He grabbed a pair of trousers. "Our flat," he repeated. He paused suddenly, looking at Ianto sharply. "Can I call it that? Our flat?" he asked nervously.

Ianto, fully dressed, smiled widely. He walked over and grabbed Jack by the back of the neck to pull him in for a bruising kiss. Jack melted against him, his trousers falling to the floor, forgotten. "Does that answer your question?" Ianto murmured, caressing Jack's cheek with his free hand.

"I don't know, you might have to do that again," Jack breathed. He rotated his hips, pressing against Ianto.

"Mmm, let's go home, then, so we can get dressed for today," he suggested, kissing Jack's neck as his hands found Jack's bare ass. "But first…"

***TW TW TW***

"So," Martha began, a smile on her lips that would have been sly on anyone else, but on her seemed endearingly coy. "Jack asked me to get you a UNIT cap to wear."

Ianto paused on the steps from the autopsy bay. "Well, red _is_ my color," he hedged, fiddling with the file folder in his hands.

"Am I right in thinking you and Jack…" Martha twisted her lips slightly and tilted her head in a motion Ianto had never seen before. "…dabble?" she finished. He blinked in surprise at her audacity. Then again, she'd traveled with the Doctor, and that took quite a lot of pluck, from what Ianto could tell. He decided to answer her.

"Actually, we're lovers," he said.

"Really?" She paused. "But, you know, he's been around…" She trailed off uncomfortably. "I mean, he's got a reputation."

"He's a flirt," Ianto interrupted. "I accept that. But he's faithful to me."

"Really?"

Ianto shrugged and climbed the stairs. "Shall we get your cover story sorted?" he asked, ready to have the awkward conversation over with. She rushed to follow him to the main Hub.

"But, we're talking about Jack! From what the Doctor's said…"

Ianto glanced around at the workstations. Tosh and Owen were busy. He wondered if they were just pretending so they could listen in. He lowered his voice. "We live together, unofficially," he admitted softly. "Five or six nights out of seven he sleeps at my flat, and the rest I'm here with him. We share the groceries and bills. He cooks, I clean. We sleep together without sex and talk long into the night. We watch the bloody telly together!" he exclaimed, his voice getting louder and louder. "Look, Martha, maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do," Ianto hissed.

He paused, breathing hard in his agitation. He became aware of the silence in the main part of the Hub. His colleagues were staring at them. He felt his face flush in embarrassment.

"Are you trying to tell me that you've — _domesticated_ — Jack Harkness?" Martha almost shrieked.

"Yes!" Ianto shouted, angry beyond belief that she would imply that it was an impossible task. That this stranger would show up out of nowhere and malign his lover and imply that he wasn't capable of intimacy, of faithfulness, of commitment and loyalty. "I bloody well have, and you'd be well-served to remember that!" He turned on his heel and stalked off in the direction of the Archives, his shoulders bunched in anger.

"And there's nothing wrong with domestication!" Jack shouted from the doorway of his office, loud enough that Ianto could hear him from around the corner. "Martha, my office, now!"

Ianto heard the telltale click in his ear of the comms systems activating. He wondered if Jack did it or if Tosh was making sure they all heard whatever Jack was about to say to his friend. He fingered the small patch of raised skin behind his right ear. The new sub-dermal comms seemed to be working so far, even if only he and Jack were trying them out. If they worked, phone sex around the Hub might get interesting, he mused.

"_Martha, I love you like a sister. You know that, right?" _Jack asked softly.

_"Of course," _she answered.

"_Ianto is my partner," _Jack said. "_He's the one I'm going to spend my life with, as long as he's alive. I'd appreciate it if you could apologize and find a way to work with him." _

"_But —" _

"_You didn't meet him during the Year That Never Was, did you?" _

"_No." _

"_Well, he was amazing. He kept the Resistance going. He made sure Tom was there to meet you when you returned to British soil, even though he was gone by then. He was the one who found Tom in the first place." _

"_He was?" _

"_Yes. And this Ianto might not be the wartime leader he was then, but he's just as spectacular, just as fantastic. He took over Gwen's job when I had to fire her and continued doing his own. He keeps us running smoothly. He's my next choice to lead Torchwood, should I have to leave with the Doctor again." _

"_But— he'll die. You'll be left alone again." _

"_Having him with me for whatever time we have is worth the pain of losing him. Because having him — it's the most important thing in my life." _

"_Wow." _

"_Yeah. I know." _Ianto pictured one of Jack's genuine smiles.

"_So, how did you figure it out?" _

"_After a certain point, you just know." _

"_I guess so." _Martha paused. "_Does he know how you feel?" _

"_I've told him." _

"_I knew you liked him a lot. We all knew that back then. But you flirted with everyone! Even the Doctor wasn't sure who you'd slept with." _

_"I didn't voluntarily sleep with anyone, Martha. I'm committed to Ianto. Anything that happened, anything on the Valiant, that was rape." _

_"You know, you've changed since then, Jack. You're softer. But not in a bad way! It's like, you're more … yourself, or something. You don't seem to need your facade as much. It's like you've really been able to heal from that year. I know it was hardest on you, despite what the rest of us went through." _

"_I __have_ _been able to heal. And it's thanks to Ianto and his unwavering ability to stick with me, even when I was a mess. He and the others helped me pick up the pieces again. Owen and Tosh, too. It's like I have a family again, after all those years alone." _Jack drew a deep breath. "_I've found my home and family, Martha. That's all there is to it." _

"_Well, we all need family." _

"_Isn't that the truth?" _

***TW TW TW***

"Ianto?" Jack asked, turning the corner in the Archives into Ianto's office. "Are you OK?"

Ianto sighed and turned to face Jack. "I'm fine," he replied. He met Jack's skeptical look. "I'm annoyed at her," he admitted.

"She means well," Jack said, stepping forward to lean on the edge of Ianto's desk. "She's protective of me after that year. She saw me at my most raw, right after I got out, though I held it together and didn't break down in front of her. Doesn't excuse her being rude to you, or implying that I can't commit, but she's trying."

"You've committed more to me than I thought possible for you to be able to do when we first met," Ianto said. "I suppose it's only fair that she thinks the same thing. She doesn't know you as well as I do."

Jack nodded silently, his eyes far away for a moment. "Those of us who have traveled with the Doctor tend to stick together," he commented. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, consciously changing his thought process. "I saw you looking at a real estate magazine earlier. Are you thinking about moving?"

"Buying, actually. I was going to talk to you about it, but haven't had the chance yet. My lease is up next month. All this talk of domestication got me thinking more seriously about it all."

"What are you thinking?"

"I want something closer to the Hub. Not really sure what else."

Jack paused, considering. "What about that place — you know, my second favorite roof this year?"

"Jack, I can't afford anything in that building!" Ianto exclaimed. "Even with what I've saved from the Canary Wharf settlement."

"No, but _we_ could. I looked into it. The penthouse flat is available. We'd be able to see the Bay on one side and the city center on the other. We'd even be able to see our water tower and Plaas from there. I wouldn't have to break in to get roof access. And it's big enough that we'd each have our own space, if we wanted it, though you should see the master bedroom. There's a Jacuzzi in the en suite big enough for three people!" Jack stopped, suddenly aware that his enthusiasm had gotten out of hand and he was rambling. "Do you want to buy a place with me? Live together officially?" Jack asked.

"Is it too soon?" he whispered hesitantly when Ianto didn't answer immediately. "We wouldn't have to get that particular flat. I just —"

"I —" Ianto broke off, looking away from Jack. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes and he blinked them hard. "I —" He took a calming breath before meeting Jack's eyes again. "I'd love to live with you!" He jumped to his feet and kissed Jack hard.

Jack responded instantly, kissing him back and holding him close. They were both hard, just from the idea Jack suggested. Ianto needed to do something about it, _now_. He scrabbled at Jack's belt and fly while Jack lowered his braces. Soon Jack was bent back on the desk, his trousers and pants puddled on the floor as Ianto pounded into him, their mouths still locked together. He pulled Ianto even closer, found his ass, held on for the ride.

With practiced motions, Ianto pulled the silk handkerchief from his pocket when Jack let go of his ass with one hand to pump his erection, nearing the end. Ianto latched onto Jack's neck, kissing and biting and leaving a mark just below Jack's collar. He used the bit of silk to catch Jack's cum even as he groaned at his own completion. A few wet kisses, the hasty application of wet wipes to certain areas, and they were done, dressed and looking as if nothing had happened. Though Jack's hair was a bit more wild than usual and Ianto's tie was askew.

"Mmm, three fucks in one day," Jack murmured. "And it's not even noon. This'll be a good day for sure!" he enthused.

Ianto smiled affectionately. "Do you have an estate agent in mind, or shall I look for one today?" he asked, bringing them back to the topic that had inspired their romp. Jack grinned.

"All picked out. We just have to sign the paperwork and transfer the funds."

Ianto's eyes widened in surprise. "You had this all planned out, didn't you?"

"We'll have been together two years soon. I was going to ask you then, but seeing you looking at that magazine earlier made me want to do it now. I didn't realize your lease was up so soon."

"I want to see the place before I make a decision."

"Of course. When this thing with Martha and her missing patients is settled, we can go over and look at it. Grace, the estate agent, has worked with me before, so she knows about my unconventional hours."

"You already own a flat?"

Jack shrugged before answering. "Several. And one in London. One in New York, too. Bought that one back in the 20's. But I've never lived in any of them. They're more about having investments."

"Because you don't have enough money?" Ianto joked. "I've seen your accounts. You don't need to invest in property."

"I also don't want to work for Torchwood my whole life. Now that I've met the Doctor and gotten what answers he could give me, the motivation to stay is so much less." He glanced into Ianto's troubled eyes. "I'm not thinking of leaving anytime soon," he reassured him. "But maybe I'd retire when you do. Spend the last years of your life happy, without aliens."

Ianto smiled sadly. "I don't know where you get your optimism, Jack. It's not likely I'll live until retirement."

"It'll be more likely once we hire some new people and I can take you off the active fieldwork roster."

"So, I should try to schedule those interviews we've been putting off?"

"Once all this with Martha is done. I'd love to hire her, but she's not interested. Having another medic would be good, I think."

"We'll have a lot to do once she leaves, between buying a flat, moving, and trying to find some new employees."

"And sex. Don't forget the sex," Jack added with a grin.

"As if I could," Ianto muttered happily, straightening his tie.


	73. Chapter 73: Reset, Part 2

**Torchwood Files: Season Two**

**Chapter 73: Reset, part 2**

A/N: Yes, I admit to being a bit of a tease. And, yes, I like making things dramatic... But I decided to make this chapter the final part of Reset so that we can move on and you can find out what happens. I'm not cruel, I don't think. Just enjoying the story. And your reactions. ;-) Remember, the next episode is called "Dead Man Walking" for a reason. Like with the Year That Never Was, and most of life, often things have to get worse before they can get better.

Warnings for angst and character death.

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"Understood, Ianto. Tell Tosh to go for total shutdown," Jack said as he walked back and forth in front of Dr. Copley. "This place is a torture chamber," he added, looking right at the doctor. "And I have a particular aversion to torture."

"I don't need to debate medical ethics with you," the man said, looking away from Jack.

"You used the mayflies," Jack hissed. "You turned them into parasites."

"We're on the edge of the greatest medical discovery since penicillin. We need this research."

"By murdering people?" Jack demanded, glancing over at Owen who was working on treating Martha, still unconscious and strapped to the operating table. He could see something moving under the skin of her stomach. It looked painful.

"They were going to die anyway," Copley said, trying to justify his actions. "Now their deaths have meaning. You should understand that, Jack. You've had to sacrifice a few lives for the greater good."

"Not like this!" Jack said, looking back at Copley, giving him his full attention again. "Have you ever been a victim of torture, Aaron? Do you have any idea what it feels like to be completely at another's mercy? Someone who's causing you pain and you don't know why? Well, I have. Only, I got a better deal than these aliens of yours, because at least I understood I was in the hands of a madman. These creatures don't even know what's going on, besides you causing them pain."

"Oh, don't get all high and mighty, Jack. I know what Torchwood does. I know how you kill aliens and use their technology. I've been following Torchwood's activities for thirty years. This is the same thing."

"I kill hostile aliens. I don't turn innocents into victims. I'm closing this place down," Jack declared.

"In your dreams," Copley replied, incredulous. "This is a state of the art official facility."

"Oh, I'm not going to do it by sending a memo," Jack said, pride in his team finding its way into his voice. "We're in control of your IT systems. As we speak, we're crashing your data banks. Wiping your records."

"That's cyber-terrorism!"

"And that's just for starters. We're going to trip the systems of your fire, radiation and biohazard safety networks. The power will cut, sprinklers will be activated, and a large part of this facility will be sealed and flooded with inert gasses."

"The aliens will die," Copley protested.

"They're already dying," Jack retorted, throwing Copley's earlier words back in his face. "This way they'll be put out of their misery."

"We're on the same side!"

"No. Combating hostile aliens is one thing, but this is slavery, exploitation, torture. A war crime." Jack glared at Copley with as much hate as he could put into a single look.

"Jack, I need your help!" Owen shouted. Jack rushed to Martha, who was thrashing around on the table, holding her down while Owen finished the calibrations on the Singularity Scalpel.

"Owen, do you know what you're doing?" Jack demanded. "We can't let her die!"

"I've got it this time," Owen muttered. "Jack!"

Jack backed away, giving Owen a clear shot. He heard a high pitched wail, then silence. Martha sat up with a gasp, then fell back, flatlining. Before they could panic, she coughed and started breathing again. Jack hurried them out of the building.

"Jack, I called UNIT in," Ianto said as soon as Jack arrived at the borrowed Pharm SUV. "I figured they'd have the manpower to gather all the employees."

"Good work," Jack said, giving Ianto's shoulder a squeeze. "Tosh, do it." He turned back to Owen and Martha, the sounds of the facility shutdown already in the background of his consciousness. "Owen, how is she?"

"Did you really think I was just going to walk away?" Aaron Copley asked, coming up behind them and pointing a gun in their direction. Owen and Martha turned to face him. Ianto and Jack sidled up beside and slightly behind them, ready to provide interference. Tosh maintained her position in the back, monitoring the lock down of the facility on her laptop. Jack drew his gun. "You've ruined everything I've worked for," Copley snarled angrily.

"Now, let's not be stupid," Owen said, raising his arms in the surrender pose and moving in front of Martha, Jack's words from earlier when they were on their way to the Pharm ringing in his head. "_Our top priority is keeping Martha safe. Not only is she from UNIT, but she and I traveled with the Doctor together when I was gone. No matter what, she must survive, understood?" _

Jack assessed the situation, his senses on high alert. He could smell the petrol from the car behind him, the grass, the new rain. He could smell the stink of fear on Copley. He reeked of fear and desperation. _Desperate men do desperate things, stupid, foolish impulsive things,_ he reminded himself. _I shouldn't have told him my plan to shut the place down. If I'd just left with Martha, he — _

"OK," Owen continued. "We're both rational men, scientists. I know you don't want to shoot —"

Copley's finger twitched on the trigger. Jack noticed, fired his Webley a millisecond after Copley fired his own gun. Time slowed to a crawl. Jack, sensitive to the motion of time, felt a moment of fear as he tracked the path of the bullet before it left the barrel of Copley's gun, saw it heading directly towards Owen. He knew without looking that his own shot would find its target, killing Copley for doing the horrible things he'd been doing, and for firing on one of Jack's team.

_There's nothing I can do for him, _Jack thought, closing his eyes. _I'm sorry, Owen. _He didn't see Ianto moving on Owen's other side.

When time resumed its normal course, Ianto was on the ground, gasping for breath, a bullet lodged in his chest. Martha and Owen immediately got to their knees, pulling out their kit. Jack dropped to Ianto's side.

"Ianto?" he asked, his voice breaking. "Ianto? Stay with me! Don't go now! Ianto!"

Ianto blinked, gathered his strength. He shifted his head so he could see Jack. "I love you," he croaked.

"Don't," Jack admonished him. "Don't say it like that, like it's the end. It's not the end. We're going to fix you. You're going to be all right. Just don't leave me. Please, _ashe, _don't leave me," Jack begged. He clutched at Ianto's hand, squeezing as hard as he could, feeling the slight return pressure from Ianto. Tears burned at the corners of his eyes. Ianto's breath gurgled in his chest. He took one more gasping breath, then let it out, all tension falling away. His face looked almost serene.

"He's dead," Martha whispered, pulling her fingers back from Ianto's neck and his pulse point.

"IAAAANTOOOOOO!" Jack screamed, falling onto Ianto's body. "No, _ashe,_ no. You can't leave me now. You can't. We're going to get a flat together. We're going to —"

"Come on, Jack, there's nothing we can do," Owen said, grabbing Jack by the shoulders. "Ladies?" He motioned for help and Martha and Tosh quickly hurried over to help pull Jack away from Ianto.

"No! No, no, no, no! We've gotta help Ianto," Jack protested. "I brought him back once, I can do it again. Just let me try!" He struggled against their grip. "Martha, you were there! Let me try! You've got to let me try!"

Martha met Owen's eyes over Jack's shoulder. He shook his head, indicating that he didn't understand, either. "Jack, what do you mean? What do you want to try?" Martha asked.

"Let me kiss him. I can give him some of my energy, my life-force. It's worked once."

Again, she looked at Owen. He shrugged. They let Jack go and he knelt next to Ianto on the ground. He ignored the bullet hole in his chest and the blood on his shirt, red on red. He bent and kissed Ianto reverently. He tried to form the words of a prayer, but his mind was blank. Ianto didn't respond. They waited for ten minutes, hovering around Jack and the body of his lover before Owen and Martha decided enough was enough.

"Jack, it's time to let him go. We'll take him back to the Hub. You can say goodbye there," Owen said gently, laying a hand on Jack's shoulder. Jack jerked away and leaned over Ianto again. He touched his face.

"Ianto, _ashe'ha, _you can't leave me," Jack whispered desperately. "Not now. Please, come back. Come back!" He started sobbing uncontrollably. "Ianto!"

"I'm so sorry, Jack," Martha said softly. He looked up at her with wild, tear-filled eyes. "I know what he meant to you."

"No, you don't," Jack muttered through his tears. "No one does."

With their help, Jack climbed to his feet. He staggered a few meters away and collapsed onto his knees. He screamed in protest, in anger and sorrow and regret. He clawed at his face with his nails, scraping bloody tracks into his skin for the tears to follow. Tosh dashed over to him and threw her arms around him, trying to staunch her own tears so she could help him and keep him from hurting himself any more.

Jack's voice changed, becoming a constant keening sound. He didn't even pause for breath, just wailed, on and on and on as he rocked back and forth. If Ianto had been alive, he would have recognized the sound as similar to the one that Jonah Bevins, one of the patients at Flat Holm, makes, only Jonah's scream was about fear and pain, while Jack's was grief, pure and simple.

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***TW TW TW***

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The Doctor felt his TARDIS's distress moments before she changed their flight plan mid-stream. Usually a very dangerous procedure, she did it seamlessly. She landed with a bump, throwing open her door so that he could leave immediately to fix whatever had dragged them off course.

Stepping out onto a paved drive, the first thing he noticed was the sound. A wordless scream of someone so broken, so alone, so dead inside that it made both his hearts ache. This must be what he was supposed to fix. He tilted his head, listening. The cadence of the scream reminded him of something. No, someone, from long ago, before this regeneration. He'd been a young man then, newly out exploring the universe with his stolen TARDIS.

Now, he felt his ship's mind echo with sorrow, guilt, shame, fear and something else he couldn't quite figure out. Ah well, things happened in their own time, most of the time. And when they didn't, he would try to be there to fix it. There were only a few beings in the entire universe that she would alter their course to help, and only one who evoked this menagerie of emotions from her.

It would be Jack screaming, then. But why would he be making that sound? It was a mourning keen, one not used for another few thousand years, if he made his guess. Jack had lost people before, so why was this time different? Who was so important that Jack would loose himself like this?

The Doctor shrugged to himself. Time will tell, he mused. Focusing on his surroundings, he took in the darkness. It was night. Twenty-first century Earth, six months since he dropped Jack off after their adventures with the Master. Well, not adventures, really, more like experiences. That was it. Experiences.

He looked at the body at his feet. An old man with a bullet through his forehead, right between the eyes. Jack's doing, if he didn't missed his guess. Why couldn't he replace Jack's Webley with a banana like he did the sonic blaster all those years ago? There wouldn't be as many deaths that way. But this wasn't the important one. This particular mourning keen required an intimate relationship, a current intimate relationship, and while the idea of Jack, or anyone, engaging in such activities mildly repulsed him, he knew it was a part of their lives and therefor important to the issue at hand. Jack always had beautiful lovers, so this man wasn't him.

Come to think of it, didn't Jack have someone in Cardiff? Someone waiting for him? Yanto, or something, was it? He couldn't remember. Maybe he'd give Martha Jones a call, see if she knew.

The Doctor raised his eyes, looking farther than his shoes. Jack, screaming, on his knees with bloody hands and blood on his cheeks, being held by a familiar-looking Asian woman. She was sobbing, holding Jack's arms to his sides. Where had he met her before? Hmm, was it London, maybe? No, if she lived in Cardiff with Jack and his Torchwood people, she wouldn't be in London. Ah, well, he'd figure it out.

A few yards away, a short rat-faced man and a dark-skinned woman attempted to resuscitate the second body. Oh, he was a good looking fellow. And young. Well, they were all young compared to Jack. This must be who Jack was mourning. Strange, though. Jack should be expecting him to die, especially if he was Torchwood, which he seemed to be by the company he kept. The Asian woman wouldn't be so upset if he were a stranger, or one of a long string of Jack's lovers. So if Jack expected him to die, he wouldn't have given his heart quite as freely, would he? But, then again, Jack had always been free with giving his heart and love.

Before the Doctor could tell them that the man was well and truly dead, the rodent-faced man spoke, shouting in a harsh London accent.

"Somebody sedate him! I can't work with that noise."

The woman jumped up and plunged a syringe into Jack's thigh. His scream faded as the drugs entered his system. She helped the Asian woman lower Jack to the ground and brushed his hair off his forehead. She got out antiseptic and began sterilizing the self-inflicted wounds on Jack's face. She paused to push her hair behind her ear. The Doctor knew that gesture.

"Martha?" he blurted, surprised, and yet not, that she would be with Torchwood. Hadn't he gotten her that job at UNIT? "Martha Jones?" She turned to face him.

"Doctor!" She launched herself into his arms, not caring that he didn't like to be touched or embraced, her voice a confused mumble of disconnected words like: "help… Jack… fix him…Ianto… dead…"

The Doctor patted her back awkwardly. "Well, can't say as I can fix Jack," he muttered. "But I can get us all somewhere so you can explain why Jack's in mourning over this man." He looked at the two Torchwood operatives. "Though if you want Jack to stay quiet, you should probably give him a second dose of that. His metabolism's quite high, you know. Won't last more than an hour, him being worked up like that."


	74. Chapter 74: Dead Man Walking, Part 1

**Torchwood Files: Season Two**

**Chapter 74: Dead Man Walking, Part 1**

A/N: Thank you everyone for all the reviews! I love knowing how much people are enjoying my story. And I especially love hearing that people are finding it difficult to put down! There aren't many compliments better than that to hear for someone who's writing a story.

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Jack felt slow and groggy, like he usually did after a powerful dose of tranquilizers. He tested his body, breathing in the air around him, assessing the situation. Sounds: Myfanwy in her nest, computer fans, water dripping. Owen and Tosh's voices talking softly. He must be in the Hub. He felt the ratty sofa underneath him. Not in danger, then. He couldn't smell coffee, though, which was odd. Ianto _always_ had coffee brewing, it seemed. They all drank enough of it. Still, there would be a lot more commotion if something was wrong. He let himself float on the drugs, sensing no need to flush his system faster than usual. _Owen must have drugged me for some reason,_ he thought absently. _It doesn't seem like I need to worry about it now, though. _

Slowly, awareness crept into his mind. Owen's voice coalesced into words he could understand.

"—chwood protocol states that we have to do an autopsy," Owen said. "And I say, if we have to do it, better to do it now while Jack's asleep. God forbid he wakes up in the middle of it."

"How long will he sleep for?" someone asked. _Martha Jones,_ Jack's brain supplied. She was visiting. Ianto had arranged a hotel room for her. The three of them were planning on going to dinner together when she got back from the Pharm so she and Ianto could get to know each other better. _And so Ianto can hear about Martha's time with the Doctor,_ Jack thought. _Maybe then he'll develop a better opinion of him and not be so jealous. How many times have I told him there's no need to be jealous? The Doctor was my crush, my youthful infatuation that was safe because I knew it would never go anywhere. The Doctor doesn't even appreciate sex, let alone participate in it. _

"I gave him another extra dose of our most powerful sedative," Owen was saying. "It should last another few hours, even with his high-speed metabolism. That's enough time for me to do the autopsy and clean Ianto up before Jack sees him."

_Ianto? _Jack thought. _What's wrong with Ianto? Did something happen — _He froze as the implication of Owen's words hit his drug-soaked brain. _Ianto's dead? Ianto died! Ianto!_

Without consciously making the decision, Jack set in motion the cascade of automatic responses to flash his body into full-alert mode. He felt the drugs leaving his system as his mind reengaged with the present. His senses sharpened.

_Copley, the gun, the bullet…Ianto must have pushed Owen out of the way. _

_If Ianto's dead… I have to find a way to bring him back. How can I bring him back? One: find the Doctor. Convince him to take me back so I can save Ianto. No, that would muddy my timeline and create paradoxes. _

_Two: Freeze his body until the technology exists to bring him back. Shit, how long has he been dead? If it's longer than an hour, even the doctors of my time couldn't bring him back without severe brain damage. Owen said "another extra" dose, meaning I've been asleep for at least one hour, maybe two. Shit, freezing him won't work._

_Three: Resurrection Gauntlet. No, Risen Mitten. The other one. Ianto would like that I call it that. And __he's_ _the one that reminded me that gloves come in pairs. That's it. That's what I'll do. _

_But would he want to be brought back using the glove? Does it matter? There's so much I need to tell him, so much I want him to know. I haven't even told him my real name! How can I be running around calling him __ashe_ _when he doesn't even know my real name? How can we make the betrothal vows if he doesn't know my name? _

Jack squeezed his eyes closed tightly, forcing back the tears that threatened to fall. _No, I've got to keep it together. Where would I find the glove? Who do I know who might know where it is? _With the power of adrenaline and desperation, Jack cataloged all of his living contacts in the Cardiff area who might be helpful in finding the glove. Only one seemed like an option. Faith, the Tarot girl.

Owen's voice penetrated his thoughts again. "This is Dr. Owen Harper, doing the autopsy of Ianto Jones, Torchwood officer 1063. It is now 22:30. Approximate time of death witnessed at 20:45. Ianto is a Caucasian male, twenty-six years old, born August 19, 1983. Autopsy begins."

"Stop!" Jack shouted, running into the autopsy bay and clinging to the railing. He hadn't realized he moved from the couch until he was gripping the metal. "Nobody touches him until I get back! Is that clear?" He met Owen's and Martha's eyes. Each of them were dressed in green surgical scrubs, Owen with a saw in his hand, ready to make the first cut for the autopsy. They nodded in acknowledgment. His eyes traveled down to look at Ianto, his beautiful Ianto, dead, his chest sunken with a bullet hole. At least they'd cleaned off the blood. Ianto would like that, that they took care of him in his last moments. Jack felt tears well at the corners of his eyes but forced them back, again. He wouldn't cry, not until he got to say goodbye. Not until he got to look in Ianto's blue eyes one last time. He turned and dashed away, not noticing Tosh and the other figure across the gallery from him.

"All right, let's put him back in the freezer," he heard Owen mutter as Jack slammed open the door to the garage and the SUV.

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***TW TW TW***

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It took him six hours to find her. They'd both been haunting Cardiff for a long time, and ran into each other on occasion, usually in dark bars filled with noise and drunkenness, a small bubble of silence surrounding whatever table she occupied. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they exchanged favors. Once she even sought his help when a particular alien resident was stalking her. They had a mostly-courteous relationship, though Jack's uncertain temper and her less than forthright manner caused difficulties every so often. They hadn't seen each other in twenty years, this time.

She looked the same as she always did, dark hair, brown eyes too large for her face, unchanging youth. She updated her wardrobe, though, unlike Jack, who settled on a style and went with it, no matter the times. One of the quirks of Time Agents — they each found a preferred time period that suited them best of all. He wondered who or what she was, that she still looked the same after so long. She wasn't like him. The Doctor said that he was the only one. Perhaps she was of another humanoid race that lived a long time? Or maybe she was a shape-shifter? He shook his head and dismissed the wandering thoughts. He had a mission.

He settled into a chair across from her at the small table. Their eyes met.

"Can you tell me where it is?" Jack asked urgently. She would already know what he was talking about. She always knew what he was talking about. One of _her_ quirks.

"You would owe me a favor," she answered, as she always did. He nodded for her to continue. Carefully she shuffled her tarot deck and placed three cards face down on the table.

"Jack," a familiar voice said, as a prickle of recognition flashed through his body. He would know this person anywhere.

"Doctor," he replied cautiously. _Does the Doctor know why I'm here? Can he help me? Will he make Ianto better? _he thought, all the questions flying through his head in an instant. The Doctor put a hand on Jack's shoulder, almost as if he wanted to hold him in his chair, or hold him back from something. The Doctor, who wasn't one for casual touches, touched him. Something important was happening here.

"I can't let you do this, Jack. Some things need to remain buried."

"Do you have a better idea?" Jack asked. When the Doctor didn't answer, he turned back to the girl, who hadn't moved. "Well?"

She tilted her head at the Doctor, regarding him with curiosity. "I haven't seen you in a while," she commented. "Are you the Tenth Doctor or the Eleventh?"

The Doctor returned her look. "Tenth," he said curtly. "You need to stop harassing my friends."

"The Captain came to me."

"He doesn't need your reading, and he doesn't need to owe you any more favors than he already does." He turned back to Jack, patted his shoulder. "Come on, we're leaving."

"What?" Jack demanded. The Doctor grabbed the collar of his jacked and pulled Jack to his feet.

"Come on, Jack. We're going back. It's better that way."

Jack looked from one to the other of them and sighed, resigned. He didn't have the energy to fight the Timelord right now. His grief was too raw, too on the surface. He nodded sadly. The girl scooped up her card, reshuffled them and lay out three face-up.

"This reading is free," she said. "Your past: The Lovers. Your present: Death. Your future: Eternity."

"What does it mean?" Jack asked in a whisper.

She held up the last card, Eternity, and offered it to him. "In your heart, you know the answer, Captain. Keep that."

"Won't it ruin your deck if it's not there?"

"You are the only one for whom it applies, of all the people I have met. I'm not like you, Captain. I _will_ die one day."

Jack nodded again and pocketed the card. "Thank you," he said. He turned to follow the Doctor out of the bar.

Once they were out of sight, she drew a fourth card from her deck. A picture of a woman, with dark hair and brown eyes stared up at her. She recognized her own face, older than it was now. "Faith." She put it down where Eternity had been. "You and one other," she said to herself. "You must have faith, Captain, as you did when you waited for the Doctor. The gods are not as cruel as you think they are. We heard your prayer and answered."


	75. Chapter 75: Dead Man Walking, Part 2

**Torchwood Files: Season Two**

**Chapter 75: Dead Man Walking, Part 2**

A/N: And now I will answer some of your questions. Enjoy!

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Ianto floated in the dark. His consciousness floated, too. He took a deep breath, once he remembered that he had lungs. The cold air chilled his lungs and made him cough. He didn't hear a sound. Opening his eyes, he remained in darkness. He lifted a hand to press against his eyes, but something kept him from moving fully. It was as if he was wrapped in something. Something — _plastic? _— his nose told him. He shifted, hit a wall on one side, tried to roll over, hit a second wall. Reluctantly, he decided he needed more information. He clenched his jaw to activate the personal comm line to Jack with the sub-dermal commlink.

In his ear, he heard the sounds of Jack crying. Sobbing, really. _What happened? _he demanded of himself. _Am I sick? Is that why Jack's crying? But why isn't he with me holding my hand, or something? Am I in quarantine? Is that it? But even if I'm in quarantine, Jack would sit with me, wouldn't he? Shit, could I be in quarantine while someone else died? And why is it so fucking cold? _

"_Jack, here, have some coffee," _Tosh said softly near Jack's ear. Ianto activated the system-wide comms so that he could hear better. Tosh continued. "_It's all that's left from the pot from earlier." _

"_Then why is it warm?" _Jack asked after blowing his nose. "_Isn't it hours old?" _

"_Oh, um, I microwaved it. I know you don't like cold coffee." _

"_Even when he was mad at me and had me on decaf, it was always fresh and hot. He'd never give me stale, microwaved coffee." _

"_Why don't I take that for you?" _Owen asked, his voice gruffer than usual, though Ianto could tell he was covering sadness. "_I can store it in case you want it later." _Owen moved away. Ianto could hear his clomping steps as he entered the autopsy bay. _Why is Owen being so nice to Jack? Why does he sound sad? _Ianto wondered. _Something is going on. Why can't I think? Why can't I remember what happened? _

"_I'm so sorry, Ianto," _Jack whispered. His voice was muffled, as if he held his face in his hands. "_I'm sorry, __ashe'ha._"

"_It's not your fault, Jack," _Tosh said. Ianto imagined her sitting next to Jack and rubbing his back. "_There's nothing you could've done differently." _

"_I could've shot Copley first. I could've —"_

"_Jack, what did you just call Ianto?" _a new voice asked. It was a man that Ianto didn't recognize. Who would Jack have let in the Hub?

"_Ashe'ha__, I called him __ashe'ha__," _Jack answered in a broken voice. "_It means —"_

"_My beloved," _the man interrupted. "_Fifty and fifty-first century Boevian. Short for __ashe te'hanna__. It means —"_

"_The __ashe te'hanna_ _is just a myth," _Jack snapped, interrupting the stranger in his own turn. "_It doesn't matter." _

"_It obviously matters," _Martha said, breaking into the conversation for the first time.

"_Is he the first person you've called that?" _the stranger asked, ignoring Martha's comment and keeping her from asking more.

"_Yes," _Jack choked out. "_And he'll be the last." _

_At least I know how special I am to him, _Ianto thought. He felt slightly warmed by that thought.

"_But surely there'll be someone else," _Martha protested. "_You're going to live a very long time. You've loved a lot of people already, surely there will be more." _

"_It will never be the same if Ianto is really Jack's __ashe te'hanna__," _the stranger said. "_There's only ever one." _

"_But what does it mean?" _Owen demanded.

"_It's just a myth," _Jack growled. "_Leave it. Please." _

"_But —" _

"_Owen, leave him alone," _Tosh hissed. "_He's not ready to talk about it, so we need to drop it, OK?" _

"_No! I'm his doctor and I need to know what to expect for his health and mental health going forward." _

"_Jack will be fine," _the stranger said firmly. "_He's always fine." _

"_Bullshit!" _Owen shouted. "_You didn't see him when he came back from his little 'vacation' with you! It took months for him to recover. Months of nightmares and vomiting and edginess and everything else a trauma survivor goes through. Even with Ianto at his side. He still has nightmares, for God's sake! We don't have the psychic training to help him with his brain-boxes, or whatever they are. He says you do, Doctor. Why didn't you stick around long enough to help him?" _

"_I'm not letting that man in my head!" _Jack protested loudly. "_I've had too much Timelord in my head. I'm never letting another one of them in again. Even if he had offered, I wouldn't have let him." _

"_No, Jack, of course not. Not if you don't want his help," _Tosh said softly, trying to comfort him.

"_But he didn't even offer, did he?"_ Owen asked, still angry.

"_Look, none of this is really important right now," _the man, who Ianto now assumed was the Doctor, muttered. "_I know for a fact that the __ashe te'hanna_ _of Boeshane is real —" _

"_What are you saying, Doctor?" _Jack asked. "_It's not just a myth?" _

"_No, it's real." _

"_And you think Ianto's mine?" _

"_I think so. Probably. Well, yes, actually, I'm pretty sure he is, but —" _

"_Well," _Jack said in a voice that chilled Ianto's spine and made him shiver even in the freezing darkness of wherever he was. "_I guess that makes my decision for me." _

"_Jack —" _

A sickening crunch sounded loud in Ianto's ear. Jack gasped and remained silent.

"_Jack?" _Tosh asked. "_Jack?" _

"_What's that in his mouth?" _Owen demanded. There was the sound of movement. "_Shit, he had a poison capsule in one of his teeth! Why didn't I pick that up on my last physical? Bloody fucking shit, this is bad." _

"_Owen?" _Martha asked.

"_He killed himself,"_ Owen reported. "_Jack fucking Harkness killed himself." _

_Jack! _Ianto shouted in his head. _Jack, don't do this! I'll find a way back to you. I'll find a way out of this cold and darkness and come to you. You won't have to be alone. I promise. Please, Jack. I'm here. I'm coming for you! Don't give up hope. _

"_Well, that's not exactly what I expected to happen,"_ the Doctor muttered under his breath.

"_And what __did_ _you expect?" _Owen snarled. "_You just told a man who's going to live forever that his lover, his __dead_ _lover, is his whatever the fuck you're talking about, and you didn't think this would happen? How idiotic are you? Jack's got a suicidal streak a mile wide! How could you not predict this?" _

"_But Ianto's not dead." _

_No, I'm not, _Ianto agreed silently. _I'm just so damned cold that I can't move or speak or think. _

"_Ianto's in the bloody morgue," _Owen shouted. "_I called his time of death myself! And now you're telling me that I'm going to have Jack on suicide watch for the rest of time? What the fuck's wrong with you?" _

_Dead? I died? How could that be? I'm right here. _Ianto paused, tried to calm down and think through the cold and come to a conclusion that made sense. _They all think I'm dead. I'm in the morgue. Jack thinks I'm dead. Whatever this __ashe te'hanna_ _thing is means something to him. Means a lot. It's enough that he killed himself over it. _

_A man who has all of time to look forward to, killing himself because he thinks that I'm dead. And Owen's right about the suicidal streak. Unless something happens, he'll be trying to kill himself for eons. And succeeding frequently, I imagine. _

_God, Jack, I don't want you to go through that pain! I'm right here, you know. Hell, even the Doctor knows. _

"_And I tell you, Ianto Jones is __not_ _dead," _the Doctor declared. "_He's been alive for the last few minutes, listening in. It's rather cold in the drawer, and I'm not sure if he's really understanding what we're saying, but —" _

Owen scrambled to his feet, running to the autopsy bay, shouting orders over his shoulder. "_Tosh, look after Jack. Martha, come help me!" _

"_You knew he was alive?" _Tosh asked softly.

"_Of course I knew. I can feel it. I've known it since he first arrived on the __Valiant_ —"

_He knew! _Ianto thought. _He knew I wasn't dead and he let Jack think I was? He knew this whole time? And he didn't say anything? That bastard! _

Ianto started pounding on the walls of his prison. "Let me out!" he shouted. "Let me out of this fucking drawer this instant!" He pounded harder.

Light, heat, movement. Owen pulled open the morgue drawer and slid Ianto out on the tray.

"Easy, mate," Owen muttered, putting his hands on Ianto's shoulders through the plastic of the body bag. "You've got to stop moving so I can get you out of here." Ianto quieted, so Owen unzipped the bag. "Shit, look at you," Owen breathed. "You're alive."

"Just get me some pants," Ianto snarled, accepting Owen and Martha's help getting out of the body bag and off the tray. Donning the scrub bottoms Owen handed him, Ianto charged up the steps towards the main Hub.

Jack gasped back to life in Tosh's arms just in time to see a mostly-naked but definitely _alive_ Ianto belt the Doctor across the face harder than he'd ever seen Ianto punch anyone, including when Ianto punched _him_ after killing the Cyberwoman.

"You heartless bastard!" Ianto shouted, grabbing the Doctor's lapels and dragging him back to his feet. "You knew I was coming back and you let him think I was dead? How dare you?" Ianto interspersed his tirade by shaking the skinny man in the brown suit (with _blue_ pinstripes and trainers? What was the man _wearing_?)

"I promised him I would give you the benefit of the doubt and meet you without preconceived notions," Ianto continued, snarling in anger. "But you've outdone yourself. You've proven that you're a careless, heartless, lazy, neglectful _monster, _and if you _ever_ hurt my man again, I will spend the rest of my life chasing you through the universe to kill you with my bare hands!"

"Um —" the Doctor said. "Maybe we should —"

"'We should' nothing! You abandoned him on the Game Station, you left him to rot in Cardiff for 150 years without knowing what was happening to him, you ran away from him _again_ when you saw him coming to see you, and then you set him up for a year of torture! He did that for _you,_ and how did you repay him? You dropped him off without any support, without giving him any kind of recognition, and left him here to pick up the pieces on his own. You're a coward. A bloody coward."

"Well, the thing is —"

"No, you're going to listen to me. He let himself be the Master's plaything because he believed in you. He trusted you. He died over 800 times for you! And you know what? You're not worth it. You don't deserve his trust, you don't deserve his loyalty, and you _definitely_ don't deserve his love!"

Ianto crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the Timelord. The two men stared at each other, their eyes locked in a battle of wills. The Doctor blinked.

"You're right," he said softly. "I don't deserve any of those things. I've treated him badly, and I want to try to make up for it."

"Well, then, that's better," Ianto replied. They regarded each other warily for a moment. Ianto felt his anger leaving him. Jack wouldn't want him to stay angry after the Doctor admitted his mistakes and offered to work on changing things.

"I'm the Doctor," the Doctor said, extending a hand. "Jack's told me a lot about you."

"Ianto Jones. Likewise," Ianto replied, shaking the Doctor's hand.

"You should turn around and reassure Jack you're really alive, Mr. Jones," the Doctor said. "Though, from the looks of him, he's aware."

Ianto turned slowly. Jack stood in front of the Hub's ratty sofa, clutching Tosh's hand tightly, his face both pale and flushed at the same time. He still wore his greatcoat, and Ianto could tell that his clothing was stained, ripped, dirty and bloody. Martha and Owen crept over from the autopsy bay during the confrontation and were now standing on Jack's other side.

"Jack?" Ianto asked softly, taking a hesitant step forward. "Are you all right, _ashe?"_

For the first time in his life, Jack Harkness fainted.


	76. Chapter 76: Dead Man Walking, Pt 3

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 76: Dead Man Walking, Part 3  
**

A/N: Please enjoy this chapter. It's not particularly Janto-centric, but it makes sense in this universe and opens the way for other fun things. Next chapter we see Jack & Ianto's emotional reunion and learn what the _ashe te'hanna _myth is all about.

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Ianto had showered, shaved, brushed his teeth, fixed his hair, dressed, and was knotting his tie by the time he heard Jack's boots on the ladder. He stepped out of the bathroom and turned to face Jack. He extended his hand to Jack.

"Jack?"

"Ianto?" Jack offered his own hand. It was trembling. "Are you really here?"

"I'm here, Jack. I'm real. I'm alive." He grabbed Jack's hand and pulled him into an embrace. "I'm not a hallucination. I'm really here."

Jack clung to him, buried his face in the joint between Ianto's neck and shoulder, and breathed in his scent. They held each other tightly as Jack cried in relief. "I thought you were dead," he whispered into Ianto's shoulder, over and over again until he could bring himself back under control.

Ianto kissed his temple, the top of his head. "Let's go home. I don't know what's going on, but I think we both need time away from this place and everyone, don't you?" Jack nodded silently. "You go shower and change. I'll deal with the others. We can ask the Doctor about what happened to me tomorrow, all right?" Jack nodded again. "You'll tell me about the _ashe te'hanna?" _

"I'll need to find out from him about how it's real. How it's not a myth. What it will mean for us."

"But you'll tell me the myth?"

"Yeah," Jack said softly. He pulled his head back so they could look into each other's eyes. "I love you," Jack murmured, touching Ianto's cheek.

Ianto's lips twitched. "I love you, too. Now go shower so we can go home and I can show you how much." He shoved Jack gently in the direction of the bathroom and waited until he heard the water running before climbing the ladder to Jack's office.

"Owen? Can I see you in here for a minute?" Ianto called into the main Hub from Jack's office door. Owen immediately jumped up from his station and followed him in. Ianto closed the door. "I'm taking Jack home," Ianto said, making it clear that there was no room to negotiate about that. He sat in Jack's desk chair. "We need a day or two to get over this, just with each other, before we bring the rest of you into it."

"Your physical can wait, of course," Owen replied, sitting in the visitor chair. "Though I'd like to get a blood sample before you go, if that's OK?"

Ianto nodded. They sat quietly for a moment. "I don't know what this means," Ianto finally said. "Am I like Jack? Was it a one-off?"

"We don't know either. The Doctor might know, but he's not telling until all of us are together."

"How long was I — ?"

"Nine hours," Owen interrupted him. "You were in the drawer for most of it. We didn't know you were alive, or coming back, or whatever, or I'd never have put you in there." Owen lowered his head into his hands. "I'm so sorry, Ianto. I should've caught this! I shouldn't have left you in there so long!"

"It OK," Ianto said, laying a hand on one of Owen's. "None of us knew it would happen." He took his hand away.

"You should've seen Jack. He was — No, never mind. I hope you never see Jack like that. I hope you never hear that sound he was making."

"What sound?"

"The Doctor called it a mourning keen."

"That sounds bad."

Owen snorted. "I had to sedate him three times because he wouldn't stay under. We just wanted to give him some peace so he wouldn't have to see the autopsy, but he woke up and told us not to do it, then disappeared for six hours. The Doctor dragged him back, and all Jack did after that was sit on the couch and cry for another hour."

"Well, we'll figure it all out eventually. Are you and Tosh OK to stay here until we get back, even if it's a few days? He looks a little gray and I don't want to push him too fast."

"Yeah, we'll be fine," Owen answered. "Martha said she'd stay around, so we can call her if we need to. Just give us a heads up before you arrive." Owen looked away, his cheeks reddening slightly.

"A head's up? Has something happened between the two of you in the last ten hours?"

Owen sighed. "She kissed me. Like, she really kissed me. Then she said she loves me." He looked up to meet Ianto's eyes. "Ianto, mate, I don't know what to do!"

"What do you mean?"

"Shit, you know me. I'm an asshole. I'm a jerk. I've slept with more women than can even count. I look at someone like Tosh and I'm embarrassed about it. I don't have any idea how to be in a relationship anymore. Not since Katie died."

"So you're scared?"

"Tosh is a good woman. There's no way I'm good enough for her," Owen muttered. "If I fuck this up, which I will, there's no going back for me."

"Do you want to try?" Ianto asked, leaning forward slightly.

"I think so. I'm not sure." Owen paused, ran a hand over his face. "God, I feel so pathetic, talking to you about this." He cursed under his breath. "Shit, I didn't mean it like that. It's nothing about you being you. I just —"

"Don't talk about feelings all that much?" Ianto suggested.

"Yeah. But, there was something about losing you, or thinking that we lost you, that put so much into perspective. You saved my life, Ianto. If you hadn't pushed me out of the way, I'd be the one on that table, and who knows what Jack would've done. For all we know, he could have found the other Glove and turned me into a zombie! But none of that happened because of you. And I've been an asshole to you for years! For no reason! And I've ignored Tosh, and harassed Jack. And what do I have to say about it? Nothing. I'm not close to anyone, I have a flat that's too big and ostentatious for what I really want, I work long hours, and I'm lonely. I mean, how much more pathetic can I get?"

"The good thing is that you got this wake-up call in time to change things," Ianto said. "We can find a way to be real friends rather than always snarky with each other. You can get a new flat. Jack's been taking you into his confidences more often. And Tosh? She's been into you for years. I'm sure she'll wait a little longer while you straighten things out." Ianto paused, thinking about what to say next.

"Think about Jack and me, right? Look where we are now from where we started. I seduced him to keep him from finding the Cyberman I snuck into the basement. Whatever we had, it was all built on that lie. Then, when we finally got over that betrayal, and realized there might be more to what we had than just sex, he freaked out and told me it was casual or nothing. _Secret_ and casual, or nothing. But I stuck by him. You know why?" Owen shook his head. "I knew he actually felt something for me. I could tell he was just scared of feeling it. He was scared of admitting to having feelings and then having to deal with the fall-out when I eventually died. I spent a lot of time thinking about what life must be like for him, to outlive everyone he knows, to outlive children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. It wasn't a pretty picture I had in my head. So I decided that I'd wait and give him a chance."

"You loved him back then, didn't you?"

"I was drawn to him from the moment we met. I don't know when exactly it turned into love, but it was before Gwen came on board. It might have been when I found out that he couldn't stay dead. But I couldn't admit it to myself, let alone him. Still, the feeling was there."

"Do you know when he started feeling it?" Owen asked quietly.

"He says it was the night before I brought Tanizaki here. I'm not sure. It might have been earlier. All I know is that he wouldn't have reacted as strongly and angrily to my betrayal if he didn't feel hurt and used."

"Well, you _did_ use him," Owen pointed out.

"I did. But we've moved on from that."

"What you two have now…"

"It took him leaving with the Doctor and going through that horrible year to admit what he was feeling and that he wanted to do something about it. It took him that long to come to the conclusion that being with me fully, with feelings engaged, for however much time we had, was better than not having me at all."

"Your point?"

"I waited for him to get his shit together. I waited over a year and a half, including the three months when he was gone. Tosh has waited longer than that already. I think if you tell you that you're scared of fucking up, she'll accept that. _She _knows you, too, Owen. Remember that. She knows you better than I do. She knew you before you got to Torchwood, just by researching Katie and the parasite. If she's willing to take this chance and tell you how she feels, maybe she's willing to see this thing through some of your fuck-ups. It's up to you to decide if you want to make a go of it. Maybe me almost dying is your wake-up call, like leaving with the Doctor was Jack's."

"I should've gotten my head out of my ass enough to talk to you sooner, Teaboy, you're actually kind of smart," Owen snarked.

"If that's your apology for treating me like shit for two years…"

"Naw, I'll come up with something else for that," Owen said, smiling a little. "Something with more curses in it to go with your estate upbringing."

Ianto laughed, surprised. "I didn't think you knew about that."

"I ran into your brother-in-law at a bar a few months ago."

"Oh, God. What happened?"

"We got into a fight about rugby, then I bought him a drink, he bought me one, a few of his mates came by, more beer flowed, and next thing you know, he was complaining about his sister's good for nothing brother who worked at a tourist office and wore expensive suits but couldn't be bothered to come to the house more than twice a year. I asked who the brother was, and he told me it was you. I didn't mention that I knew you, or that you were shagging Jack, so don't worry about that."

"Johnny's an arse."

"Yeah. I could tell. Not much love for us English blokes."

"Yeah, and he'll spend the rest of his life teasing me about Jack, if he ever finds out. I'll either be the gay-boy or the poof. Doesn't matter that I'm not really gay."

"Hate to break it to you, but you're sleeping with Jack. That makes you gay in just about everyone's book."

"I'm with Jack on the no-label idea," Ianto muttered. "Anyway, it sounds like Kcal's almost Deon down there. Good luck with what you decide."

"Thanks." Owen paused. "It really got to me the other day when Jack called us his family. I haven't had a family that gave a shit since Katie died."

"How long has it been since then?"

"Coming up on five years."

"Maybe it's time to move on," Ianto suggested gently. "You stopped sleeping around six months ago, right? Maybe it's time to try for something more." Ianto paused. "Talk to Tosh. You might not make any decisions tonight, but at least she'll know you're not just blowing her off. And she's smart, too. She's had her share of heartbreak. She might just be what you're looking for."

"You think I should go for it," Owen stated.

"No, I think you should think about it. Don't insult her or yourself by going at it half-heartedly. Just be honest with her, like she was with you."

Owen nodded to himself, lost in thought for a moment. "Yeah, maybe." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Well, let's get this blood draw out of the way so you can get Jack out of here."


	77. Chapter 77: Dead Man Walking, Pt 4

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 77: Dead Man Walking, Part 4**

A/N: Hello ladies and gentleman! Today is my birthday, so I'm giving all of you a present: The _ashe te'hanna _myth! (And Jack and Ianto's emotional reunion.) I'm excited to hear what you think. The myth is my own creation, though the characters themselves belong to the BBC and RTD. I'm just happy I get to play with them.

Warnings for sex in this chapter.

Enjoy!

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Jack remained silent and introspective on the drive to Ianto's flat. Ianto didn't try to talk to him, knowing Jack's moods as well as he did. As they approached Ianto's building, Jack became increasingly tense. In the lift, he bounced up and down on the balls of his feet like an impatient child. Ianto rested a hand on his back as the lift opened on their floor.

"Easy, we're almost there," he whispered. Jack seemed to calm slightly at the sound of his voice.

They made it into the flat without incident.

Once the door closed, however, everything changed. Jack had them both naked and on the floor of the entryway within a minute. His hands and lips were everywhere. Boots and shoes flew across the hall, buttons pinged against the wall as shirts were torn off, trousers landed on the floor in heaps. Ianto felt the passion and desire rise in himself just as quickly. There was something about Jack coming back from being dead that always heated his blood and made his need fly out of control. He was impressed that they'd both been able to hold out this long. Usually they found five minutes for a quick hand or blow job against the SUV or a convenient wall within the first half-hour of seeing each other, but here they were, three hours after Ianto (and Jack) "woke," finally able to touch each other in privacy. Neither had wanted something quick in the Hub.

"Bed," Ianto hissed between frantic kisses. "We're doing it on the bed, Jack. We can be on the floor later."

Jack didn't even complain as they scrambled to their feet and into the other room, leaving their clothes, shoes and coats where he'd thrown them in his haste to have skin touching skin. "Take me like you mean it," Jack growled, climbing onto all fours on the bed. Ianto's smile flashed in the dark room. He liked when Jack demanded things like this, when he needed Ianto to be in control of their speed and force. It didn't happen nearly often enough.

"Hard and fast?" Ianto clarified, grabbing the bottle of lube from the nightstand. Jack whimpered an affirmative grunt as Ianto prodded his ass with slicked fingers. "You're too tight. You've got to relax."

"Not until you've come inside me."

"It'll hurt," Ianto hedged.

"Just fuck me. You died, so I need you in me."

Ianto froze. "That's what I say when you come back…" he said in surprise.

"Yeah, I know, so get with the program and fucking do it!" Jack shouted, pounding the mattress with an impatient fist. "Come _on,_ Ianto! I'm going to crash really soon and I need this."

"Um…" Even as his brain tried to process what Jack was telling him, Ianto's body moved, doing exactly what Jack wanted, pushing in roughly. Jack arched his back, slamming his hips backwards to take Ianto in as deep as possible as Ianto thrust forward. They both groaned in pleasure at the contact. He found Jack's prostate.

"Oh, fuck!"

Jack deteriorated into grunts and curses in several languages. Ianto swore right along with him, finding the animalistic coupling exhilarating and just what he needed. Jack came, clamping down on him in that amazing way of his. Ianto shouted out as he finished. He tipped them to their sides and held Jack close, spooned up against his back.

"Don't let me sleep alone," Jack begged, gripping Ianto's arm that was around his chest.

"Sleep, _ashe'ha. _I'll be here," Ianto murmured, kissing Jack's back. "I'll be here when you wake. I promise."

***TW TW TW***

Jack woke to sunlight streaming in the bedroom window. He yawned and stretched, feeling his joints pop back into place after the long sleep following an induced crash. Ianto slept on, curled against him. Jack placed a quick kiss on his temple and got out of bed. He felt the queasiness of low blood sugar as he walked to the front hall, then fell to his knees when a wave of dizziness hit. He reached into his coat pocket to find one of the special 5000 calorie drinks Owen created for him after learning about how he could spike his metabolism and the resulting crash afterwards. He chugged two without a thought and carried the remaining two back to the bedroom. He sipped on the third as he climbed back into bed.

Ianto shifted. He blinked sleepy eyes and looked at Jack, who was sitting on top of the duvet, completely naked, a look of deep concentration on his face. "Jack?" he asked softly, running a hand along Jack's thigh. "You flashed your system, didn't you?" He glanced at the bedside clock. "You've been asleep for fourteen hours."

"Hmm, I didn't do it on purpose, but yeah, I flashed to alert mode. It's not as extreme as battle mode, which is what you've seen before. How long have you been sleeping?" Jack finished his drink and looked at Ianto, with his sleep-ruffled hair and satisfied smile.

"About six hours. I was reading before that."

"Anything interesting?"

"Nietzsche."

"Heavy."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I was dead for a while. Nine or ten hours, from what Owen said. I never took much time to study philosophy in Uni. I thought he might be a good place to start. He believed that God is dead."

"Do you believe in God?" Jack asked curiously.

"I'm not sure. I was raised Catholic, but after my Mum died, Tad stopped believing, and we stopped going to church."

"You were still a child? Nine?"

"Three days before my tenth birthday. She, um, she killed herself."

"I know," Jack whispered. He ran his fingers through Ianto's hair. "I was only a little older when my father died. He was killed in an alien invasion."

"We've had rough lives, huh?"

"I guess." Jack sighed, his eyes far away in memories for a moment. "I believe. I'm not sure what I believe in, but I believe in something."

"Sex," Ianto muttered.

"What?"

"You believe in sex. Sex as a healing force. Sex as an expression of love. Sex as something to do when you're bored. Sex as an escape from things you don't want to deal with."

"Sex as the most basic communication two people can have," Jack added. "Well, it doesn't _have_ to be just two people, but…" he trailed off, not wanting to ruin their moment with his usual frivolity. He went on. "Sex as an affirmation of life."

"We do that one a lot."

"I like to think we combine most of those a lot of the time. At least lately."

"You're probably right," Ianto said softly. "For a while, sex was the _only_ way we could communicate."

"Thank Goddess we moved on from that!"

Ianto smiled. "Amen."

"Speaking of sex, should we have sex one more time, or do you want go straight to the stories I promised?" Jack asked.

"Which would you prefer?"

Jack scooted down and gathered Ianto in his arms. They kissed languidly. "Shower, coffee, then stories, I think," Jack answered after a pause. "It's probably better if we're clean and awake for what I'm going to tell you. And we can't leave them alone at the Hub forever."

Ianto nodded. "As long as you fuck me in the shower."

"Don't I always?" Jack replied with a leer.

"Unless I'm fucking you." They started laughing together. "But right now, I think you're doing the fucking."

"Deal."

***TW TW TW***

Twenty hours later Ianto drifted awake to find himself sprawled on his sofa, still naked, laying across Jack's body. Jack groaned softly and ran his hands down Ianto's back.

"Sweetheart," Jack whispered. "I think we should try to get up, don't you? It's been 36 hours since we left the Hub. They'll be worried about us."

"Didn't I tell you? We've got some more time. Owen won't get worried until it's past 48 hours," Ianto mumbled. "Besides, he's trying it on Tosh, so they might appreciate the privacy."

"He's doing what?" Jack demanded.

"He and I had a chat while you were showering. Tosh kissed him and said she loves him. It freaked him out, so he asked for my advice."

"Huh. I'll have to look at the CCYV footage later. Good for them if it works out. I'll be cheering them on."

"You and me, both. It's way past time they got together." Ianto yawned. "I think I need some food."

"We still have that Chinese," Jack offered. "And there might be a slice or two of pizza."

"Idiot, that was your opportunity to ask me out to dinner."

"Oh. Do you want to go to dinner?"

"Not if it involves me having to put on clothes. Or moving. Or thinking. Or being around other people."

Jack chuckled. "Nietzche not as interesting anymore? Or did I wear you out?"

"Seventeen orgasms in less than 24 hours will do this to anyone," Ianto protested. "I don't see _you_ rushing to get dressed."

"No, but I'm on the bottom."

"For now," Ianto said with a smirk.

***TW TW TW***

"When the universe was still young, a God and Goddess fell in love. Their love was ill-fated, however, since he was of the earth, while she was of the sky. He of fire, and she of water. She was sent away by her vengeful father, who hated her suitor. She went to the far end of the universe, in exile.

"The God took to the stars as soon as his lover was banished, intent on finding her and reclaiming their love. He created world after world, all for her, that they might have a home one day when they reunited.

"The Goddess eventually broke free and began searching the stars for her lover, planting the seeds of hope and love in all who met her. She brought wind and rain to barren planets.

"It was eons before they found each other again. Both had had other lovers, other lives, but always the other was first in their hearts. They met again on a small planet that he created and that had her breath for air. The planet cried her tears of sorrow, and now of joy.

"Her name is Ashiki, Goddess of love and laughter, song and sea, hope and heart.

"His name is Han'nata, God of desire and death, time and temperance, faith and fire.

"Together they are two and yet one, for only together are they truly whole. Two beings with one heart, individuals with two minds and one soul, intertwined in a beautiful dance, gold and silver, green and blue. Apart they are empty, missing the spark that makes life worth living.

"In the old tongue, _ashe te'hanna _means 'beloved of the soul,' and is a sacred bond between people, once discovered, never to be broken. On Boeshane, the planet where the God and Goddess found each other after eons of searching, it is said that each person born there has an _ashe te'hanna_. They say that if two lovers break each other's hearts three times and return to each other to love again, they are _ashe te'hanna, _forever bound to each other." Jack took a deep breath and sighed.

"I grew up on Boeshane, the Boeshane Peninsula, one of the outlying cities of the human colony. We were not native to the planet, obviously, and the native peoples shared their myths with us. I learned this myth while I sat at my mother's knee, along with my brother. She was the first generation of humans born on the planet. The vows of marriage included calling one's partner _ashe te'hanna, _but no one really believed in true soulmates. We were too focused on science, most of the time. My parents called each other _ashe. _

"I despaired of ever finding my _ashe te'hanna, _for most of my colony was killed during the invasion that killed my father, when I also lost my brother. There were only a few thousand human survivors, and while we tried to maintain our place on the planet, by the time I was twenty, we were scattered across the galaxy. I enlisted in the army at fourteen, lying to get in, when my mother died, bringing my best friend with me. For a while I thought he might be my _ashe, _though it was clear he wasn't. They tortured and killed him in front of me to try to break me. Then I joined the Time Agency. There were enough of us left from Boeshane that I was a poster boy for a while, the first from my planet to be recruited. I wasn't yet eighteen." Jack stared into the distance for a long moment. "They wanted me because I didn't let the enemy's torture of my friend break me."

"I didn't realize that I could find my _ashe_ in another time, on another planet, on 21st century Earth. It never occurred to me that my _ashe_ didn't have to be born on Boeshane, though I was."

"When did I break your heart?" Ianto asked, his voice barely audible in the stillness of the bedroom. He squeezed Jack tighter in his arms.

"When you chose Lisa over me," Jack responded. "Then again when you almost left me for kissing Captain Jack in 1941."

"And the third time?"

"When you died in front of me, your love for me in your eyes and on your lips. When your eyes dimmed and your breath stopped." Jack drew a shaky breath. "I was lucky. I got you back when I destroyed the Paradox Machine. A very small part of me knew I would get you back, though I wasn't holding my breath. I didn't quite believe it, then. I knew I loved you, and you me, and that I had hurt you, more than once, and probably broken your heart, but I wasn't ready to admit the possibility all the same.

"When Copley killed you in front of me, I felt my world ripping apart, my soul dying along with you, for I knew that you were my _ashe te'hanna _as soon as we reunited_, _even though I didn't tell you, and I didn't know you would come back."

"Oh, Jack!" Ianto buried his face in the space between Jack's neck and shoulder. Hot tears burned their way down his cheeks.

"What — When did I break yours?" Jack asked hesitantly, almost afraid of the answer. "I've probably done it more than three times," he muttered to himself. "I wasn't very good to you for a long time."

"I think the worst was when you walked out on me when I almost said I loved you that time during my suspension. I know you didn't leave, physically, but you were gone. The Jack that was taking care of me, who cared about me, who asked about Lisa, who wanted me to get better, who wanted me in his life, who made love to me, he was gone."

Jack nodded, his own tears falling. He huddled closer to Ianto.

"The first time you broke my heart must have been when I watched you die in the SUV that first time. I thought I'd lost you, and I was only just admitting to myself that I cared about you as more than as a means to an end or a convenient office-shag."

"And the last?"

"When you left with the Doctor. Oh, I knew you had to go, but I felt like my life had just been destroyed, again. You were gone. I was lost. I was lonely and so scared that you wouldn't come back. I just wanted to hold you and apologize. To tell you I'd do anything you wanted, that I'd never bring up love or feelings again, as long as we could be _something _to each other."

Jack closed his eyes, trying to block out the pain of what he and Ianto had just said. "I never meant to hurt you, _ashe," _he whispered. "I was terrified, petrified. I could barely move or think. How could I have an _ashe te'hanna _if I was going to live forever and he wasn't? How would I survive the heartbreak of you dying if you were my _ashe_?" He coughed on a sob. "I tried to deny it for so long —"

"No need to deny it anymore, my love," Ianto whispered, soothing Jack with gentle touches and kisses to his cheeks and forehead and temple. "I think it's pretty clear we're each other's _ashe te'hanna." _

"Now we just need to hear from the Doctor what happened to you," Jack said.

Ianto grunted non-commitally. "I'm still not sure what I think of him," he admitted.

"I'm not sure I know what I think of him anymore, either," Jack said softly. "What you said the other day, about him knowing you were coming back and not telling me… If that's the kind of person he is… How could I not have seen that? Do I want him as a friend if he's going to be like that?"

"Can he help being like that, though? If he thought we knew? If it was about not saying something because he was sure we knew rather than deliberately keeping it from you for some reason, would that change things? Like, if he wanted to teach you a lesson in what it's like to lose someone, or something?"

"As if I'm someone who needs that lesson," Jack grumbled.

"What he says tomorrow will give us a lot to think about, won't it?"

"Yeah."

"Jack? Can we make love again before we go back there?"

"You just want to smell like me when we get to the Hub, don't you?" Jack teased, the mischievous light in his eye returning.

"There's not enough soap to wash away your smell from me after the last few days. I'll have to air out the flat."

Jack chuckled. "And hire a cleaning service. I think the only furniture that didn't see use is the coffee table. Not to mention the walls and floors and counters." He sighed. "Call Torchwood's usual clean up team and put in a requisition request. They don't have to know it's your flat."

"The benefits of dating the boss?" Ianto asked with a grin. Jack laughed again and kissed him.

"OK, once more, then we _really_ have to go back in."

"Yes, sir," Ianto murmured against his lips. "Whatever you say."

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Continued in "Day in the Death."


	78. Chapter 78: Dead Man Walking, part 5

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 78: Dead Man Walking, Part 5**

A/N: One more chapter to go with this episode, then we move forward to "A Day in the Death." I have a plan, but it's not been fleshed out yet. (Some episodes are easier to write than others, as I'm sure you can imagine, especially with how I made the story AU.) Enjoy, and please review.

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"Do you have any idea what the Doctor will say?" Ianto asked over a breakfast of eggs, bacon and toast, their usual when they had the time to sit at home.

Jack sipped his coffee before answering. "I can take a guess at some of it." He paused to take a bite of toast. "I think it's likely he'll tell us that you're like me, and can't stay dead. That, somehow, when I died the first time and Rose brought me back when she was Bad Wolf, she found you through time and made sure you'd be like me, so that I'd have my _ashe_ with me."

"Bad Wolf," Ianto mused. "When I hear that phrase, I see an image in my head of a blond woman surrounded by a golden light. She's crying, and her eyes are glowing." He chewed on his bacon as he tried to get a clearer picture in his head. "She said —"

"'I bring life,'" Jack finished for him. "I saw that when I came back the first time, too. I didn't know what it meant, though I knew it was Rose."

"She was beautiful."

Jack smiled softly, a look Ianto had only ever seen directed at himself before. "She was," Jack agreed. His voice spoke of nostalgia and affection. "She's still alive, somewhere, in an alternate universe, so the Doctor told me. For a long time I thought she died at Canary Wharf."

"I remember you mentioning her once, long ago, it seems."

"We traveled together for months, the Doctor, Rose, and I. Her boyfriend Mickey joined us for a few adventures. I met her mother, Jackie. This was the regeneration before the current Doctor. He looked older, more serious. Looking back, I see that he was dealing with trauma. This new Doctor, he's dealing with it, too, but my Doctor, the one I traveled with, he was still suffering."

"PTSD?" Ianto asked.

"As much as a Timelord can have it. He'd just lost his planet, his people. Rose helped him get over the loss."

"It sounds like they love each other. That she did for him some of what I've done for you. At least in terms of helping get over trauma."

"They were never lovers," Jack stated. "The Doctor doesn't believe in physical relationships. He finds sex disgusting, actually, from what I can tell."

Ianto huffed into his coffee. Shaking his head, he cleared the dishes and dropped them into the dishwasher after a quick rinse. "Let's get going," he said, grabbing Jack's mug from his hand.

Jack blinked in surprise and shock. "What's wrong?" he demanded. He almost reached for his mug, but Ianto had already dumped the last swallow down the sink.

Ianto slammed the mug into the dishwasher and closed the door with more force than necessary. Without answering he began gathering his coat, keys, wallet and phone.

"Ianto?" Jack grabbed his own coat and rushed to pull on his boots and follow Ianto down the hall. "Ianto! Wait for me."

Ianto ignored the lift and disappeared down the fire stairs, his back stiff with anger. Jack grumbled to himself, but took the time to tie his shoes and lock the flat. At Ianto's car, he slid silently into the passenger seat. Ianto drummed impatient fingers on the staring wheel as he waited.

"Ianto?"

"Why couldn't you have told me that a year ago, huh?" Ianto demanded angrily as he pulled into traffic.

"What are you talking about?" Jack felt completely lost. "I don't understand."

"Jack, I've spent two years wondering how I measured up to that man, and now, _now_ you tell me he doesn't have sex? That you've never even slept with him?"

"I never said we had sex," Jack protested. "I've spent months trying to convince you there was nothing you had to be jealous about."

"Oh, no, nothing to be jealous about," Ianto muttered sarcastically to himself. "It's not like you left me behind to chase after him."

"Ianto, stop this. We talked about this yesterday. You're first for me. You're my _ashe." _

Ianto clenched his teeth but said nothing.

"I rejected him for you," Jack said as he stared out the window, not looking at Ianto. "He asked me to come with him after the Year That Never Was, and I said no. I thought I told you that already."

"But you'd go with him again."

"Not if I couldn't bring you with me."

Ianto looked over at Jack's profile. His jaw was set, and it was clear that he meant exactly what he just said. Ianto sighed.

"Why are we fighting?" he asked softly. "I don't want to fight with you. Not after the last few days. Not with what we're about to find out."

"I had to leave with him," Jack whispered in the direction of the window. "I needed answers. And when he tried to run away from me again…"

"I know, Jack. I know. I'm just irritated for some reason. I'm not really jealous. Not any more. And I know you had to go. I really do. I knew it then, even though it hurt. It's just — you've never talked about him so much before. And the way you smiled when you mentioned Rose…"

"I never slept with her, either," Jack offered.

"But you wanted to?"

"I _wanted_ a threesome, but neither of them were interested and it didn't happen. I kissed them each goodbye when I went to face the Daleks on Satellite Five because I knew I probably wasn't going to make it out of there alive. I wouldn't have, if not for Rose. It's only been you since we met. It's only going to be you from now on. We decided that months ago. Can't we just move on from the doubt and drama? I'm with you, Ianto. You're _ashe'ha. _Nothing will change that."

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be like this."

"We're almost at the Hub. Can you let go of this mood? Would it help if we shagged again?"

"Shagging isn't the answer to everything."

"I know that."

"But it might help," Ianto said with a small smile. He reached over to run a hand along Jack's thigh. "Nice and slow."

"We can sneak into my bunker, surprise them afterwards," Jack suggested.

"You never got a bigger bed."

"_You_ don't know all that the Hub has in the basement," Jack replied with a smirk.

***TW TW TW***

Forty-five minutes later Jack and Ianto entered the main Hub through the cog wheel door to find Tosh at her station and Martha, the Doctor, and Owen in the autopsy bay. Tosh hugged the two men and walked with them to look down at the action.

"Oh, look what you have here!" the Doctor exclaimed happily, picking up the Singularity Scalpel. "A Mantinian Extractor! Love these things. Where did you get it?"

"It fell through the Rift," Owen said with a shrug, his focus on the slide under his microscope.

"They call it the Singularity Scalpel," Martha added. "It saved my life."

The Doctor's face fell, the smile turning into a concerned frown. "But it's not set up to use with humans! Why were you even using it? This is dangerous!"

"Well, emergency situation, and all that," Owen answered for her. "It worked rather well, I might add."

"But it's broken! I mean, the calibrator is wonky, the display screen is the wrong color, and it's just, well, broken!" The Doctor pulled out his Sonic Screwdriver and began fiddling with the devise. "I'll have it up and running in no time," he declared confidently.

Just then, Owen looked up and noticed Jack and Ianto. "You're back. Good. Ianto, I'll need to do that physical now."

Ianto sighed and nodded, shrugging out of his suit jacket as he climbed down the stairs.

"OK, everyone, let's give Owen and Ianto some privacy," Jack declared loudly, slapping his hands together. "Meeting in the board room in thirty. That includes you, Doctor." He turned and motioned to Tosh to precede him back to her station. "Why don't you give me a summary of what's happened while we've been gone?" he asked her.

Martha grabbed the Doctor's arm and dragged him from the medical area, smiling at Ianto in welcome. He took his seat on the metal table.

"How much sleep did you get?" Owen asked as soon as they were alone.

"Enough. I feel rested. Jack crashed for fourteen hours. I slept for about six of that. Off and on again after he woke up. Probably sixteen hours total, which is much more than I usually get in two and a half days." Ianto rolled up his sleeves without being asked. "How about you?"

"Enough. We got a few call outs. A pair of Weevils, a Hoix, and a meteor that turned out to be a part of a Japanese satellite. Nothing particularly interesting." He took Ianto's blood pressure and checked his reflexes.

"The Hoix is…?"

"In the cells. The Doctor wanted to take him home, but we decided to wait for Jack to give the OK on that." Owen deftly drew blood and put the sample in its usual analysis chamber. "We gave it Weevil food. Didn't think you'd mind that. It's eating a lot, as those things usually do. You might need an extra order of the stuff."

Ianto nodded and made a mental note to check the supplies. "How's Myfanwy?"

"She doesn't like the Doctor. We had to let her out so she would stop dive-bombing him. We were really glad you and Jack toilet trained her, let me tell you. She had that look like she would do it if she had a good bead on his head."

"Ah."

"Tosh and I talked," Owen said without preamble. "We haven't decided anything. You were right, though. Telling her I don't want to fuck up helped."

"I told you it would."

"Yeah, well." Owen paused awkwardly. "You and Jack?"

"Were busy."

"How busy?"

"Busy enough."

Owen sighed. "As your doctor…"

"It's always a little wild after he dies, but it was much more intense this time."

"Are we talking six or seven intense?"

"You're really asking this?" Ianto hissed, his cheeks flaming.

"Either you tell me or I give you an exam." Owen snapped the back of one of his rubber gloves to make his point.

"More than that," Ianto muttered.

"You were gone 53 hours, at least 14 of them Jack was asleep for, plus another ten, so 29 hours awake. Are we talking about closer to ten times? Once every three hours?" Ianto shook his head, his cheeks becoming even more pink. "What, fifteen?" Ianto's ears became pink, his cheeks a deep red. "More than that? How is that possible?"

"Um —"

"Listen, you're starting to scare me. How many times?"

"Um —"

"Ianto!"

"Forty-three, total," Ianto whispered. "But we slept, so it was in bursts. So it'd happen for a while, then we'd talk or eat or sleep, then…" he trailed off.

Owen's mouth dropped open in shock. He stared at Ianto with wide eyes. "Forty-three! What? How is that — ? In fifty-three — ? And you slept for — ?" He blinked, not taking his eyes off Ianto's face. "But that's — ? You're telling me —" He blinked again. "Are you really saying what I think you're saying?"

Ianto nodded silently, looking away in embarrassment. "I didn't think it was possible," he admitted. "It just — kept happening. It was — great. It was like there were no barriers between us. He said he'd never felt anything like it, either."

"HARKNESS!" Owen shouted at the top of his lungs. He began swearing, a string of profanity spewing from his mouth along with occasional recognizable words or phrases. Ianto was shocked. Even with Owen's usually filthy mouth, this was beyond the norm. Jack and the others appeared above them at the railing. Jack took one look at Ianto's suddenly pale face and the vein throbbing in Owen's temple and felt a wash of panic. Owen's cursing made it worse.

"What's wrong with him?" he demanded. His voice cracked. His blood ran cold.

"How can you be so fucking irresponsible?" Owen shouted. "How could you —"

"It's Jack's pheromones," a calm voice said. Owen broke off to look at the Doctor, who leaned against the railing watching the proceedings. "They're always more active right after he comes back," he continued. "It's instinct. He can't help it. And the TARDIS gave them a boost. A present, if you will. Kind of an apology, really. I think. She hasn't explained it to me." He looked from Jack to Ianto and back to Jack. "It's not likely to happen at that intensity ever again." The Doctor paused, considering. "Well, probably not. Can't say for certain, really. Nothing's ever certain with Jack, these days, except that he can't die. Never thought he'd settle down, for one…" he trailed off.

"Will someone tell me what the fuck's wrong with Ianto?" Jack demanded impatiently, pounding his fist against the wall.

"Nothing's wrong," Ianto answered. "You and I had a lot of sex, Owen freaked out that it was too much, and now the Doctor says it's fine," he explained. "Calm down, Jack."

"It wasn't that much," Jack protested quietly. Then he paused, tilting his head, counting to himself. "Oh, wait, it _was_ a lot, wasn't it?" he asked with a huge grin. "One for the record books!"


	79. Chapter 79: Dead Man Walking, Part 6

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 79: Dead Man Walking, Part 6**

A/N: Here is a nice, long chapter for your enjoyment. It doesn't move the plot along, but it answers a lot of questions. Sorry if it's not one of my better chapters. Enjoy!

Oh, and look for some interesting characters in the next few chapters. Some you may recognize from earlier in the story, others you might remember from cannon.

.

.

"These are the t-cells of a regular human," Owen said, indicating the projection on the screen of the conference room. "Looks like spheres, right? Well, _these_ are the t-cells of someone who's traveled in time."

A second image image appeared next to the first. The spheres in the second image had the occasional spike projecting from it.

"Traveling in time gives you extra immunity," Martha explained. "Copley said my cells were like that, also, but mine had more spikes when I saw them. Who else traveled in time?"

Tosh raised her hand. "Is that what my t-cells look like?" She glanced over at Owen. He nodded in reply. "Wow."

"Now, we look at Martha's cells. Look, she has even more spikes. From what Copley told her and what we've been able to figure out over the past two days, the more time travel you do, the better your immunity."

"When did you go?" Martha asked Tosh in a whisper.

"1941. Jack and I went together. It wasn't planned, but…"

"Time travel isn't usually planned," Martha murmured.

Jack, in his usual spot, looked over at Ianto. "You probably don't have those spikes," he said, pointing. "You've never traveled in time, that I know of."

"No, no time travel," Ianto agreed. "I'll leave that to you." They smiled at each other.

"If we're done with the side conversations," Owen grumbled. "Here's Ianto's blood. As you thought, Jack, no spikes. Instead, he's got this glow. It surrounds the cells, though it doesn't seem to do anything, that I can tell. I put some nasty stuff on them to see what happened, and they died,, just like regular." Owen moved aside the images of Tosh and Martha's blood to compare Ianto's to the regular human blood, which he admitted was his own. Ianto's blood glowed yellow-gold, while Owen's remained normal.

"It won't do anything unless the cells are attached to Mr. Jones," the Doctor said, looking up from the tech he was working on. "Go on, continue. I'm interested to see what conclusions you've come to." The Doctor waved a dismissive hand at Owen and returned to the tech in his hand.

Owen muttered something rude under his breath and dismissed all the images on the screen. He pulled up an image of t-cells that spun quickly, covered in spikes that shot off when other things got too close. The cells glowed yellow-gold, like Ianto's.

"I put some herpes cells on the slide, and as you can see, Jack's cells react by shooting spikes at them."

"As if I'd catch anything like that," Jack exclaimed angrily as he snagged a pastry from the plate in the center of the table. "51st Century breeding gave me immunity."

"Herpes is a standard test of t-cell viability," Owen explained. Martha nodded agreement. "And since we don't have anyone else from the 51st Century hanging around —"

"Yes, we do," Ianto put in. "Didn't you save a blood sample from John Hart?"

"Who's that?" Martha asked.

"One of Jack's exes," Tosh explained. "He was a Time Agent, too."

"Another one?" the Doctor exclaimed. "How many of you were there?"

"Only seven left, according to John," Jack answered sadly. "Seven out of thousands. He never told me what happened beyond that the Agency was shut down and people were being killed off. He was on the run because he left Rehab early, but now I wonder if it's also about staying alive. I'm not sure he knew what was happening other than that all of our lives are in danger."

"And how many did you sleep with?"

"Doesn't matter," Ianto interjected. "The past is past. Leave it there."

"The past is never just the past," the Doctor replied. "Time travel, remember?"

"Much as I hate to say it, I agree with Ianto," Owen said. "I know far too much about Harkness' sex life than I ever wanted to know."

"Well, if you'd stop asking me about it, you wouldn't have to know anything, now, would you?" Ianto muttered.

"I'm your bloody doctor —"

"And I'm —"

"Can we just finish the presentation, please?" Jack interrupted. "I want to know what happened to Ianto."

"I'm making more coffee," Ianto growled, disappearing out the conference room door with two empty mugs in each hand.

"What flew up his arse?" Owen demanded.

"His hormones are still settling down," the Doctor commented. "They get out of whack a little after he dies and comes back, but their marathon activities the past two days changed them even more. He has to get used to not having the endorphins again." He put his Sonic Screwdriver in his jacket pocket and handed the tech to Owen. "There you are. A fully-functioning Mantinian Extractor, set for use with humans."

"Um, thanks."

"Can you help us with this?" Tosh asked, producing a different piece of technology from under the table. She passed it to the Doctor. He put on his glasses as he took the item, examined it, took his glasses off, examined it again, and put his glasses on.

"Hmm. I haven't seen one of these in years!" he exclaimed happily. "It's from a planet called Teskoko, which is famous for its shopping. This is a —"

Ianto walked back into the room with a tray of coffee and tea, which he passed out and resumed his seat next to Jack. "Owen, please continue," he said after taking a sip of his coffee. Owen sighed and nodded, pulling up the images of Ianto's t-cells next to Jack's. Tosh surreptitiously produced a box full of tech that she put on the floor next to the Doctor.

"Well, as you can all see, both Ianto and Jack have glowing t-cells. Doctor, if you'd like to explain that part?"

"What? Oh. Oh! You want to know what that is. Hmm. Well, let's see. It appears to be a bit of Time Vortex energy that's bonded to their DNA, kind of like when a Triptillian and Fespa —"

"Doctor, we know how I got the time vortex energy," Jack interrupted. "But how did Ianto? And, more importantly, is he like me? Will he die and come back, over and over? Is he a fixed point as well?"

The Doctor looked at Jack and Ianto, noting how they instinctively matched their breathing when they weren't paying attention to it. He looked through his movie glasses and saw the time vortex energy surrounding them both, though Ianto had never traveled in time. He watched the subtle way they leaned in to each other, the way they seemed to be attuned to minuscule differences in the other's behavior or mood. He met Jack's eyes, then Ianto's.

"You, Ianto Jones, are indeed a fixed point in space and time, like Jack is," he declared seriously. "As to how you became that way… well, I have several theories. The most plausible is that the TARDIS, who is a living being with all of time flowing through her, who can see all the possible futures and pasts, looked for you when Rose brought Jack back, so that Jack wouldn't be without his _ashe te'hanna." _

"So I'll die and keep coming back, like Jack?" Ianto clarified.

"She feels responsible for you, Jack," the Doctor continued, not answering Ianto. "She feels a debt to you for saving her from the Master. And she feels guilty that Rose did what she did. The TARDIS had no control over what Rose did, but she could influence the outcome. She couldn't change what had happened, but she could find your Mr. Jones and make sure that you would have each other." He paused. "And she could make sure you would meet," he added softly.

"How could she do that?" Jack asked, half-rising from his chair. Ianto's hand on his forearm relaxed him back into a sitting position.

"She was able to manipulate time when you jumped to Earth with your Vortex Manipulator. Then she overloaded the circuits so you wouldn't miss each other."

Jack looked at the leather wristband he always wore, stroking the cover of the machine underneath. Ianto covered his hand with his.

"Is that why you wouldn't let me keep the teleport and time travel functions when we parted after that year?" he whispered in a cracked voice. "So I wouldn't leave here before I admitted that Ianto's my _ashe?" _

"Yes."

Jack brought his free hand to his mouth, stifling a sob. Tears streamed down his cheeks. "You made sure I couldn't leave him again," he managed. "You made sure I was going back to him. You _knew_, and you made sure I ended up here."

"I didn't realize you didn't know that he was like you, Jack," the Doctor said. "I would've said something. I knew as soon as he came aboard the _Valiant._"

"Did the Master know?"

"You think he'd have let you two alone together if he knew?" the Doctor asked, surprised. "He didn't have a reason to fight the sick feeling. I did. It might not have seemed like it, but I listened to what you weren't saying. I knew I hurt you by leaving with Rose that first time, and I didn't want to have to do it again. So when Ianto arrived, just as fixed in time as you, I could tell the difference, because I was used to you by then. The Master didn't want to get used to you, so he didn't notice. This was ten or eleven months into the year, after all, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"Ianto told you that he was like you. I saw the video. The Master was watching your escape and piped in the audio from the Resistance so everyone knew what was going on. We could hear you and Ianto talking to each other. We saw what happened with Daniel."

Jack paled. He swallowed a few times as if fighting off nausea. Ianto rubbed the back of his neck gently.

"So when Ianto revived in front of you, everyone else found out. The Master was furious! He had Ianto shoved over the side of the ship to be destroyed by Toclafane. He figured it would take a long time to regenerate from scraps of flesh. He was right, too. Ianto hadn't made it back to the _Valiant_ by the time we fixed things, otherwise he'd have remembered everything."

"I thought it was a hallucination, him coming back like that," Jack said softly, his eyes wide. He clutched at Ianto's hand, lacing his fingers between Ianto's.

"Well, it wasn't. You shot him in the back when he was trying to defend you during the escape attempt."

Jack's face lost the rest of the color that remained and he started hyperventilating. "I killed him because I thought he was a hallucination. I killed him. I _killed_ him. _I_ killed —"

"Breathe, _ashe," _Ianto interrupted. "Breathe. It's over. That Ianto's gone. He doesn't exist anymore. It's over. Breathe." He rubbed circles on Jack's back. Jack shot him a look, his eyes wide with panic.

"I killed —"

"Easy now, Jack. Just breathe, _ashe'ha." _Ianto locked his eyes with Jack's and continued talking softly. Owen got up and brought over a rubbish bin, putting it on the floor by Jack in case the reaction got worse and Jack started vomiting. Martha raised an eyebrow in question, but Owen shook his head, telling her silently he'd talk to her later. The Doctor watched almost impassively, though the concern in his gaze belied the expression on his face.

"Your hormones aren't exactly in peak form right now, either," he muttered under his breath. Ianto shot him a look that would have killed lesser beings.

"And you have to just go and mention Daniel and Jack killing me, didn't you?" Ianto snarled. "Did you even _think_ that he might react to hearing about all that? That he might have a trauma reaction? That he just watched me die when he didn't know I'd come back and might be thrown back to how he was on the _Valiant?"_

"No, I —"

"What did I tell you about hurting him?" Ianto demanded angrily.

"Ianto," Jack croaked. Ianto closed his mouth. "Doctor." Jack looked over at the Doctor, who also shut his mouth. Everyone waited. Slowly, Jack's panicked breathing calmed.

"After that year you offered to take me with you," Jack murmured when he was under control of himself again, not bothering with subtlety as he changed the topic of conversation. "You offered me a place on the TARDIS again. I rejected you!"

"Well, yeah. Might not have been the best timing on my part. Heat of the moment kind of thing," the Doctor said, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away, clearly embarrassed. "It's a standing offer, though. Anytime you fancy an adventure, ring me up." The Doctor paused. "And bring Ianto, of course. No sense in separating the two of you unless you want to be apart, at this point. Wouldn't do any good. For all I know, the TARDIS might refuse to go anywhere without you both."

"You'd let me go with you?" Ianto asked, stunned. "Even after I threatened you?" His hand tightened around Jack's. He couldn't decide if he was angry or excited to be offered this opportunity.

"_Let_ you? Once we're done in here she wants a proper introduction! It's not every day you get to meet the lifemate of someone who saved your life, is it? She's quite excited."

"Lifemate?"

"That's what we Timelords would call you two. Two biologically compatible beings joined through time and space, and a little Timelord technology thrown in to make it stick."

"What have you done to me now?" Jack roared, jumping to his feet and banging the table so hard that the Doctor and Martha's teacups rattled on their saucers.

"Definitely hormones out of sorts," the Doctor said to himself.

"What did I ever do to you?" Jack continued, his voice growing even louder in his anger. "I saved your life! I let that madman torture me for a whole year! All for you_, _and your stupid plan! I could've escaped and ended it all within a week, but no, I trusted you. I trusted you, and now you're telling me —" Ianto stood and put a hand on Jack's shoulder, rubbing to try to relax him, Martha, on Jack's other side copying the gesture.

"I didn't do anything!" the Doctor protested. "The _ashe te'hanna_ of Boeshane were set in motion millenniums before I was even born. Believe me, Jack, I'd help you if I could, but the ones who set this up are better than me. There's no way to reverse it!"

"I don't want it reversed!" Jack hollered. "I just want to know what's going on!"

The Doctor stood, absently handing Tosh the tech in his hand. He faced Jack. "Please let me explain," he said, meeting Jack's eyes. "I know this is a lot to take in all at once, but you need to hear it. Especially with what just happened the other day."

"Is it something the others will understand?"

"I should hope so!"

Jack nodded and took his seat again, Martha and Ianto following a moment after. The Doctor reached for the PDA that controlled the projection screen and reluctantly Owen handed it over. The Doctor fiddled with it and his Sonic Screwdriver for a moment. On the screen, an image of a DNA strand appeared.

"This is Jack's DNA," the Doctor explained. "Before we go farther, I need to point out that every creature has certain DNA markers on them that identify their planet of birth. These are Jack's." A few parts of the DNA glowed red.

"The rest of you will have Earth markers," the Doctor continued, and an image of four more DNA strands appeared, all with blue markers. "You see, you all have the same markers for all of you because you're all from here. Now, things get interesting. Let's look for matches." Blue markers appeared on Jack's strand, and red markers appeared on one of the others.

"I assume that's me," Ianto said. "How did Jack and I get the other markers?"

"Yes, well, that's where the Timelords come into the picture," the Doctor said. He took a seat and put down the PDA. "A long time ago, there was a Timelady called the Scientist. She was interested in mating habits, and how sentient beings formed lifelong bonds with each other. So she created an experiment. She chose a planet, uninhabited at the time, mind, and made it so that every sentient creature born on the planet would have a lifemate."

"But how could she do that?" Owen asked. "How is that possible?"

"It's impossible to explain Timelord technology to you," the Doctor answered. "Let's just assume it's true for the sake of the story, OK?"

Reluctantly, Owen nodded.

"So, the Scientist made it so that everyone would have a lifemate, but what she didn't take into account was her own lifemate, the Trickster. He wanted to make the experiment more interesting, and so he tampered with the machine, making it so that a person's lifemate didn't have to come from that planet. It seemed interesting to him. He enjoyed creating havoc and seeing what happened afterwards."

"But that doesn't account for Ianto and me," Jack protested. "He was born thousands of years _before_ I was."

"Ah, well, one thing that neither of them took into account was time. They forgot to control for time and time travel, so that every being on the planet would have a lifemate, but not necessarily from the same time or planet."

"Well, that's rubbish," Owen exclaimed. "It's not even _partially_ scientific!"

"She was called the Scientist, but it doesn't mean she ascribed to human scientific method," the Doctor said.

"But, Doctor, if they were Timelords,why _wouldn't _they account for time? It seems like the most obvious thing to control for," Martha interjected.

"Because it was so simple and obvious, that's why they forgot," Tosh suggested. "We often overlook the simple things that are right in front of us." She didn't look at Owen as she spoke, though he looked at her, a strange expression on his face.

"So they didn't control for time or planet of origin of the second part of the pairings," Jack said, getting them back on task. "That still doesn't explain me and Ianto."

"Time is not linear," the Doctor explained. He handed Tosh a fixed piece of tech and rummaged for a new one in the box. "You know that. But the TARDIS can see all of it. When you died the first time, Rose brought you back. The TARDIS saw you save her from the Master, even though it hadn't happened yet. She saw the pain of immortality you bear. So she reached out to find Ianto, because she could look forward as well as back and find the two of you together, bonded. She used the power that was flowing through Rose to bring Ianto back after his first death."

"When the Cyberwoman threw me," Ianto said softly.

"The TARDIS recognized Ianto as Jack's _ashe te'hanna _and gave him the same immortality Rose gave Jack," the Doctor finished. "She's quite pleased about finding you and being able to do it," he said to Ianto.

"How did she recognize me as Jack's _ashe?"_ Ianto asked. "Was it the DNA markers?"

"Oh, no, that's only part of it. There was the other thing, too."

"The other thing?"

"Oh, yes, didn't I mention? Your DNA and Jack's DNA complement each other. If you were to put the two strands together, like so —" he changed the image on the screen, narrowing in on the two bits of DNA and intertwining them. "Look at that. Absolutely fascinating. Two DNA strands, when coiled together, look like one."

Everyone watched in awe as the intertwined DNA seemed to meld together into one whole.

"How is that possible?" Martha whispered. "DNA just shouldn't be able to do that. Even with identical twins that's not possible! There's too many variables. Too many things that could —"

"And that's how we know Jack and Ianto are really lifemates," the Doctor said. "Every sentient being on Boeshane has one other who's DNA melds like this. It's statistically impossible to find that other, even with time travel, but the Scientist wanted to be able to study the pairings, so she added a boost to the programming of the machine inside the planet to make the drive to find the other an instinct. And she started the _ashe te'hanna _myth, told through the generations, so that people on the planet would be encouraged to find each other. Of course, at that time, she didn't realize what the Trickster had done, and didn't notice the part about time, but she tried to fix it when she could."

For a few minutes, everyone sat quietly, each going over the Doctor's story in their head. Jack sat back and looked at his friend.

"I'd like a few minutes alone with you, Doctor, if you don't mind," he finally said. Slowly, everyone filed out of the room.

"Would you like more coffee and tea before I leave?" Ianto asked, a hand on Jack's shoulder.

"No, thanks. I'll come find you when we're done." Jack squeezed Ianto's hand, then released it. Ianto nodded and stepped from the room, the door hissing shut behind him.

"Jack?" the Doctor asked, looking over to meet Jack's eyes. Jack sighed.

"We're both going to be around for a long time," Jack said, holding his gaze. "I'd like to be able to work through our past so we can stay friends and move forward."

"After everything that happened, you still want that?" the Doctor asked. "Even after I let you go home without help the second time? After all the mistakes I've been making today?"

"I don't have many friends, Doctor. You've met most of them this week. And all but Ianto will die, sooner rather than later. All of them except you. I don't want to spend eternity being angry with you or hating you."

"You've hated me?" the Doctor whispered, his voice brittle, vulnerable. Jack looked away. "Why?"

"You abandoned me."

"I couldn't help it. I was regenerating. It's hard to think during those times. I had to take the Time Vortex energy into my body to get it out of Rose, otherwise she'd die. I couldn't lose her."

"But you could lose me?"

"It's different, Jack. Rose is…special to me." Jack snorted. "No, it's true. Rose helped me in ways you couldn't imagine."

"No, maybe not. It still doesn't take away the hurt of you leaving. You not having a choice doesn't matter. What would one minute have mattered? I watched the TARDIS dematerialize. You could've given me that minute to get on board."

"I'm sorry, Jack. I was unconscious. The TARDIS acted on her own. She's sorry, too, but she was overwhelmed by all that was going on. And she hadn't had time to get used to you yet in your new form."

"Doctor —"

"They were my parents," the Doctor blurted out. "The Scientist and the Trickster. I was born on Boeshane, too, not on Gallifrey, like I've always said. Very few of us were ever born elsewhere, but those of us who were got ridiculed. We weren't considered full Timelords until we'd proven ourselves in some way.

"Because I regenerate, each body has an _ashe te'hanna. _Rose is the _ashe_ for this body. She's my _ashe_ and she's stuck in an alternate dimension and I can't get to her. I can't save her. I can't be with her. _That _is why I chose her over you."

Jack sat back in his chair, stunned. "So, every regeneration has an _ashe?" _he asked softly.

"The TARDIS tries to find them for me. She found Rose too early."

"You and I are more alike than I ever thought," Jack murmured.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I know it sounds like I'm just making excuses…"

"No, it's —" Jack broke off, his gaze distant. "I'm sorry about earlier. I —"

"It's me who should be sorry, Jack. I'm not good at all this."

"All this what?"

"Taking responsibility. You know me. I run off. I avoid. I pretend there are no consequences of my actions. But there are, and seeing you like that the other day, in mourning for a man that would come back to you, it made me think about a lot of things. Seeing you today made me think about it even more. I did wrong by you. I don't know if there's anything I can do to make it up to you for all the pain I've caused, but I'm going to try. I promise you that."

"That you'll try is a good enough start for me," Jack said earnestly, extending his hand.

"Thank you."

They stood and embraced.

"I'll even fix your Vortex Manipulator," the Doctor said with a smile. Jack laughed.


	80. Chapter 80: A Day in the Death, pt 1

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 80: A Day in the Death, part 1**

A/N: You'll probably recognize bits of dialogue from COE. Jack decided it was time for this part of the story, and who am I to say no to Jack when he insists on something? Warnings for sexual themes and violence.

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Ianto rang the doorbell of his sister's house and waited. Inside he heard the shouting of his niece and nephew, followed their thundering footsteps on the stairs. He had no idea how two young children could sound like a herd of elephants, but these two managed. His nephew, older by a year and almost nine, opened the door.

"Oi! David! Don't go opening the door to strangers!" his sister shouted from the kitchen.

"It's not a stranger, mum, it's Uncle Ianto," his nephew called back over his shoulder. Ianto and David exchanged their usual greeting, a brief hug from David and a twenty pound note from Ianto.

Rhiannon, Ianto's older sister, walked in from the kitchen, drying her hands on a tea towel. "Ianto! What are you doing here?" She pulled him into the house and gave him a huge hug. He slipped his arms around her briefly and awkwardly. "You don't usually come by unannounced," she scolded, shutting the door behind him and motioning him inside.

"Well, um, I thought I'd stop by. My boss gave me the morning off," he mumbled, not telling her that Jack had _insisted_ that he take some time to see his sister, now that he knew he wasn't going to die in the next few years as the average Torchwood operative would. _"Fix your relationship with her,"_ Jack said that morning as he pushed Ianto out of the flat door. _"And don't come in to work until you've seen her. I don't care if you tell her about me or not, just see her. Don't make the same mistakes I did with my own family."_ And so here Ianto was, trying to get through what was going to be an undoubtedly strange morning.

"Oh, isn't that nice of him," she said, not bothering to hide her sarcasm. "He wouldn't give you Christmas last year, when he knew you had a family dinner, but he'll give you a random Tuesday? And since when are government offices open on Christmas?"

"It's not his fault," Ianto replied, defending Jack instinctively, without needing to think about it.

"Well, you're here now, aren't you?" she asked, relaxing a little bit and smiling. "How about a cup of tea?" Ianto accepted and followed her into the kitchen. They settled at the table with mugs.

"Where's Mica?" Ianto asked suddenly, aware he hadn't seen his niece yet.

"She's upstairs playing with Siobhan. That's her best friend."

"Oh."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each of them growing uncomfortable. "You've been seen," Rhiannon offered. "Susan on the corner was in town, and it was her anniversary, so they went to that posh French place in town by the memorial and there was you."

"So?"

"There was you… having dinner…with a man."

"So?" Ianto blustered, sure she must be talking about Jack. They went to that particular restaurant about once a month, Rift willing. It was one of Ianto's favorites, and the only French place worth mentioning in that area of the city. He knew he'd have to come out about being with Jack at some point, but he wasn't sure now was the time. He was still getting used to being like Jack, to knowing he'd outlive everyone he knew, including his sister and her children.

"Having dinner with a man… in a restaurant," Rhiannon continued, trying to draw him out, curious and trying to imply what she suspected without having to say it. Ianto didn't rise to her baiting. .

"So? You have dinner with Tina," Ianto pointed out.

"Not in town," Rhiannon replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Susan said he was gorgeous, like a film star. Like an escort."

"He's my boss," Ianto blurted, his cheeks coloring at the word _escort_. His blush got darker thinking about how proud Jack would be to hear these descriptions of him. _And how insufferable,_ he added to himself, his mental voice affectionate when thinking of Jack. _I'll never hear the end of it. That man and his ego!_ Ianto smiled briefly.

"Susan said it was intimate. I said, 'well, he's had girlfriends,' and she said, 'well, there's no way a girl's getting her feet under that table.'" Rhiannon put her tea down and leaned forward. "Have you gone bender?" she asked in a low, serious voice.

Ianto froze at the direct question. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Neither of us use labels like that," he said softly. He opened his eyes to meet hers. "So, no, I'm not 'bender.'" He paused again. "But, yes, I'm with Jack."

"Really?" Rhiannon demanded, half excited and half surprised, as if she hadn't expected him to answer. Before he became immortal, he might not have. Probably wouldn't have, he admitted to himself. "You're kidding me! Really? Christ Almighty! Really, though? Really?"

"Now stop it," Ianto ordered. "It's nothing to shout about."

"He's nice, though, is he? He's good to you? Oh my! Since when?"

Ianto smiled, a genuine, happy smile. "Yeah, he's good to me. He's the most amazing man I've ever met. We just got a flat together."

"What? When? Where? And when were you going to tell me this?"

Ianto shook his head sadly. "It's just — work gets in the way. We moved about a month ago. This is the first chance I've gotten to get away. And it's not even a good day to be away, what with a new hire starting today, but Jack wanted me to have a morning off."

"How long have you been seeing him? It must be a serious thing, to be moving in together?"

"It'll be two years next month," Ianto admitted, lowering his eyes to look at the tablecloth. He wasn't looking forward to the next part of the conversation. It had been building since he left the house for London, and putting it off hadn't made talking about it any easier, he realized. _Jack's right,_ he thought._ I do need to fix things with Rhi. _Better get it over with and deal with the repercussions.

"Two years? Two years! What's wrong that you couldn't tell me for so long? You _know_ I wouldn't disown you. We're all the family we have left, Ianto. But you left for London. Tad died and you couldn't leave fast enough. Did I do something? Did I say something to make you feel you couldn't talk to me? I'm not like Tad. I'm not a monster. I don't care who you're with, as long as they make you happy!"

Ianto looked up quickly, raising his head, the word monster _swirling_ behind his eyes. "No, Rhi, it was work. It was never you. But there are things I can't tell you, can't tell anyone, and you know how I don't like talking about myself. I signed the Official Secrets Act, remember?"

"But, this is big. This is more than just your work. I know not to ask about that. And I don't, you know. I never have since you told me about the Official Secrets Act when you started in London. But can you understand how I'd be hurt to find you've been seeing someone for two years and you're only just telling me now? _After_ you've moved in with this bloke?"

"I'm sorry, Rhi. I really am. But he's my boss. I work for him, so everything is just mixed up together. Work, and life, and love, all mixed up."

"You met him here, in Cardiff?"

"Yeah."

"It must have been right when you moved back here, right after Lisa died. It hasn't been much longer than two years since then."

"A few months after I moved. It took almost a month to get the job. At first it wasn't much, me and Jack. Just comfort, because I was still hurting and he was lonely, but it didn't stay that way for long."

"How long has it been serious?"

"A year, give or take. We've had some ups and downs. Almost broke up a few times, but we've been able to work through them."

"Who hasn't had rough times?" she said with a laugh. "So, tell me everything. What's he like? Is he really as handsome as Susan says?"

"You really want to know?"

"Of course I do!"

"He _is_ very handsome," Ianto admitted.

"Come on, let's have a picture. You've got to have a picture on you. You always had dozens of Lisa and that other girl you dated, and that was only six months with Betha." She held out her hand expectantly. With a sigh, Ianto got out his mobile and scrolled through his pictures to find one of Jack that would be appropriate. Thankfully, he'd wiped the SD card of all the naked pictures last week, so he didn't need to worry about that, just the ones that could be linked to Torchwood.

"Oh my God!" Rhi shrieked happily, looking at the picture he showed her. "He's absolutely _gorgeous_! How can you get such a good looking man?" she teased. Before Ianto could stop her, she began flipping through the other pictures, looking for one of Jack and Ianto together. She froze, the smile fading from her face.

"Rhi?"

"You work for Torchwood?" she shouted, holding out the mobile. On the display was a picture of Jack sleeping on the ratty sofa, his head in Ianto's lap. The old Torchwood tiles were clearly legible behind them. "You work for bloody Torchwood?"

"Um —"

Rhiannon pressed a few buttons, then held the mobile to her ear. Jack's voice was clear to Ianto from across the table as he answered the call.

_"Hey, gorgeous. Did everything go all right with Rhiannon? Tosh says the Rift looks quiet so I'm taking everyone to the usual pub for lunch. You should join us there."_

"How can you say you care about my brother when you put him in danger every bloody day?" Rhiannon demanded. "I have a mind to come down there and beat some sense into you right this minute! And don't underestimate me, I can get Ianto to talk. He'll tell me where you are, Official Secrets or no!"

_"Rhiannon, I presume?"_ Jack asked, his voice smooth and unruffled. Ianto was too far away to hear the layers of emotion, so he couldn't interpret Jack's mood. _"Why don't I come meet you? It seems we have some things to discuss."_

The mobile clicked as Jack hung up. In Ianto's ear, the private comm line to Jack activated. _"I don't want to retcon her, Ianto," _Jack whispered._ "But I will if I have to. I should be there in fifteen minutes."_ The comms went silent.

"So?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips and regarding him with an angry expression on her face. "Were you going to tell me? That you work for them?"

"No one's supposed to know about us," Ianto finally said. "We're a secret organization!"

"Not in Cardiff! Everyone's seen that SUV driving around like it owns the road. You want to be a secret? Don't put your bloody name on your bloody obvious SUV!"

Ianto shrugged. "I've been telling Jack that for two years," he whispered.

"And none of you seems to be able to drive, either! Don't tell me you drive like that? Like a maniac?"

"I rarely get the opportunity to drive it. It's usually Jack or Owen."

"So? What do you do for them?"

"I make coffee. I keep the place tidy. I make sure the others eat and that there are paper clips and toys for our pet and I make a lot of phone calls. I file papers. I manage the tourist office."

"And what do you _really_ do?"

"I —"

The ring of Ianto's mobile broke into the conversation. He felt his blood run cold. _That's the emergency ringtone!,_ he thought as he snatched it from Rhiannon and answered.

"Jack?"

_"There's a massive energy surge right on top of you! Get yourselves out of there!"_ Jack shouted.

The wall behind Ianto exploded, plaster and wood pieces flying everywhere. He moved quickly, crashing into Rhiannon and dragging her to the floor under him, shielding her body with his own. When the smoke cleared, Ianto looked over his shoulder to see a six-foot tall metal-clad creature (with a blue-furred head just visible under the helmet) standing in the hole in the wall. It raised what looked like a weapon.

"Rhi! Get the kids and get out!" Ianto shouted, drawing his gun and rising to face the creature. Rhi scrambled to her feet.

"I'm not leaving you here!"

"Take the kids and run," Ianto repeated, cocking his gun. "Jack's on his way. He'll protect you."

The creature fired what seemed like bullets. Ianto returned fire. Ianto knocked over the kitchen table to use as a shield. He and the creature fired at each other again. Ianto grunted in pain as a bullet hit his shoulder, though he didn't let it stop him. He squeezed off another round, hitting the alien between the eyes. It fell to the floor with a loud thud.

_"Ianto? Ianto!"_ Jack shouted through the mobile on the floor._ "Ianto, what's going on? Report! Report, damnit!"_

The bullet in Ianto's shoulder discharged, creating a cavern where his chest had been. Ianto fell to the ground, dead. Rhiannon screamed, horrified, and turned on her heel and ran from the room, calling for the children as she went. She had just left the room when a second alien entered the house through the hole in the wall.


	81. Chapter 81: A Day in the Death, Part 2

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 81: A Day in the Death, Part 2**

A/N: Thank you, wonderful readers, for all your reviews and follows and favorites! Here is the next installment of this episode, where we learn what happens to Rhiannon and the children. Enjoy!

PS: And for those asking after Gwen... she will be in the story again. I have it planned out and I think you'll find it quite interesting.

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Rhiannon grabbed the children and ran from the house, struggling to see through her tears. At the curb, she looked back and saw something that could only be described as a small spaceship crash-landed behind her house. Dark, smelly smoke billowed out of it. A large black SUV screeched to a stop in front of her. The door opened and Rhiannon found herself staring at the man her brother had just admitted to sleeping with. Jack, Ianto had called him. He was even more gorgeous in person than in those photos!

Jack threw himself out of the SUV, greatcoat billowing around his ankles, opened the back door and waved to them. "David, Mica, grab your friend and get in the back!" he shouted. Too scared to think, the children dashed towards him. "Rhiannon, you're driving." Jack slammed the door shut once all three children were inside. Rhiannon continued to stare.

"Rhiannon, get in the car!" Jack repeated from the boot, where he pulled out two very large weapons.

"But —"

Jack slammed the boot closed and walked up to her, slinging one weapon over his shoulder. "You've got to get yourself and the kids to safety," he said in a calm voice. "Ianto won't forgive me if you get hurt."

"But he's — he's —"

"Ianto will be fine," Jack reassured her. "Now get in the car and drive to the Bay. Andy will meet you and make sure you get where you need to be, all right?"

"But — You didn't see —"

Before she could finish her sentence, Jack raised one of the weapons and fired in the direction of the house, a blueish-white light shooting out of it towards the metal-clad alien now exiting the house. The alien exploded, bits of metal and bone and flesh flying everywhere. Jack shielded her with his body, much as Ianto had done not five minutes ago. He slung the gun over his shoulder and took both of her arms, meeting her eyes and holding them.

"Breathe, Rhiannon. Ianto will be fine. I can guarantee you that. Now I need you go get out of here and meet Andy. Can you do that for me? The kids don't belong here."

Mutely, she nodded.

"Good woman," Jack said. "When this has been sorted, I'll introduce myself properly, all right?" She nodded again, mesmerized by Jack's eyes. He made sure she was safely in the car and driving before he turned back to the house.

If she had looked in her rear-view mirror, Rhiannon would have seen Ianto walk unsteadily out of her house. Shirtless, his chest and shoulder were a mass of angry red scarring, though he had both of his arms again. Jack put a hand on the marks over Ianto's heart, said something. Ianto nodded. They kissed once, just a peck on the lips, and Jack handed one of the weapons to Ianto. Rhiannon turned the corner, the image gone.

Something on the dashboard beeped. Rhiannon pressed the blinking button, hoping that it would silence the sound.

_"Rhiannon? My name is Toshiko, and I'm directing you where to meet Andy. Just follow the GPS and you should be fine,"_ a calm female voice said from the car speakers.

"Who are you?" Rhiannon blurted. She looked over her shoulder and the kids, who were huddling together crying, even David. "What's going on?" she demanded, her voice stronger. She turned back to the children. "It's going to be OK, loves."

_"It seems like a Chula ship crashed in your backyard,"_ the woman answered. _"I work with Ianto, and we're going to take care of things. You don't have to worry."_

"Take care of things? Like you took care of my brother just now? I don't think so!"

_"Ianto will be fine,"_ Toshiko said. _"Jack's with him, and Jack's dealt with the Chula before, so there's nothing to worry about."_

Suddenly, Jack's voice filled the SUV. _"Tosh, it's confirmed Chula. No survivors of the crash. The ship is mostly intact, so you and I can work on fixing it once we get it to a secure location. Owen, we've got two bodies — no, one mostly-whole body that Ianto took out, just a bullet in its head, and one body that's mostly goo. You can use it for your tests before you autopsy the other one. Nothing about them should be poisonous, but you shouldn't take any unnecessary risks. Oh, and it seems like their bullets explode after touching flesh for a few seconds, so bring containment cases and those gloves to go with them. I'll to the actual collection of them, but we don't have —"_ Jack paused.

_"Goddess, look at this! When did you leave this here? No, let me guess. When I was gone?"_ Jack chuckled. _"Brilliant, just brilliant. Everyone, my boyfriend is even cleverer than we suspected! He left a cache of equipment here, just in case. Fantastic! I'm sending Rhi —"_

_"Jack, you're on the open line,"_ Toshiko interrupted. _"It's feeding to Rhiannon in the SUV. Plus, I have UNIT and Kathy Swanson on the phone. Something about the ship is messing with the comms. It'll take a while for me to isolate them, so..."_

_"Ianto will take the UNIT call. Send it directly to his mobile. You still have that, right? Great. I'll deal with Kathy. Rhiannon, can you hear me?"_ Jack asked.

"Yes," she answered, unsure of what he meant about Ianto taking a call. How could Ianto speak to someone if he was dead?

_"Are you and the kids safe? Was Johnny in the house?"_

"We're fine. Johnny was at work."

Tosh broke in. _"I placed a call to Siobhan's mother to let her know that she's safe and that she would be staying at yours, Rhiannon. By yours, I mean Ianto's and Jack's, of course."_

_"OK,"_ Jack said, reining in the conversation. _"Just follow Tosh's directions and pretend like you can't hear us, OK? Everyone, radio silence while I talk to Kathy."_

Jack got a few acknowledgments and grunts in reply. The speakers clicked and Jack spoke again, this time in a flirty yet serious voice.

_"Kathy! How is Cardiff's finest this morning?"_

_"Harkness, I've got dozens of calls to 999 about a spaceship crashing in the Cromwell council estate area,"_ a firm female voice said. _"Please tell me it's mass hysteria or a movie shoot gone wrong."_

_"Movie shoot,"_ Jack supplied quickly. _"Very realistic."_

_"What are you and your lot going to do about this?"_

_"We have people here on site, including me,"_ Jack reported. _"No casualties, and no injuries, as far as I'm able to see. If you could have the surrounding streets evacuated and the area cordoned off so we can get this thing out of your way, we'd appreciate it. Our people will keep it out of the press, as usual."_

_"You sound almost like Jones,"_ Kathy remarked. _"You're actually being polite!"_

_"He's been pointing out the need for better relations between our organizations,"_ Jack answered. _"Things are changing within Torchwood. Anything we can do for you?"_

_"As a matter of fact, you can train some of my people to recognize your cases,"_ Kathy said. It sounded like she expected him to refuse.

_"Call Ianto next week,"_ Jack said after a long pause. _"He'll coordinate with you."_

_"You really mean that?"_ Kathy demanded, surprised.

_"As I just said, things are changing. Ianto will explain when you talk to him, unless you want a face-to-face meeting with me. Now, if you don't mind, I have things I need to do."_

_"What, no flirtatious comment? No innuendo? Are you really Captain Harkness?"_

Jack laughed. _"I'm still me. Ianto will explain. Bye, Detective."_

After several more clicks, Toshiko spoke again. _"We're clear, Jack. SUV's pulling up to the docks, and I can see Andy waiting for it. Owen's on his way up to meet it so he can join you at the ship."_

_"And it's about bloody time, too,"_ a gruff male voice grumbled, his Welsh accent comforting to Rhiannon after Jack's American accent. _"I've been ready for the last five minutes."_

_"Oh, you love it,"_ Jack exclaimed. _"Don't tell me you haven't wanted to join Torchwood for years, Andy. Gwen always said you were raring to go."_

_"Yeah, well, I didn't think I'd be freezing my bollocks off standing by the Bay. If I'd wanted that, I would have stayed with the police!"_

_"Well, you'll have a much more interesting day after this, mate,"_ another male voice chimed in. A Londoner, Rhiannon identified. _"You're taking Teaboy's sister and her kids down to the main Hub, so Tosh can babysit them, then you'll take the Lift up top, where I'll meet you in the car. You're coming on this clean-up mission, too."_

_"This is real, isn't it?_" Andy asked. _"I'm really part of it all?"_

_"Welcome to your first day at Torchwood,"_ Jack said enthusiastically. _"And you're already doing better than Gwen. By this time, she'd gotten nine people killed. You haven't gotten anyone killed, and we have a nearly intact spaceship to play around with,"_ Jack added. _"Owen, bring two of the special hazard suits for you and Andy. The radiation levels are pretty high."_

_"Excuse me? Killed?"_ Andy squeaked. _"Gwen killed people?"_

_"No,"_ Owen answered. _"She made a mistake and an alien killed them."_ He paused. _"Jack, you have suits for yourselves?"_

_"There's two here. Ianto was thorough when he packed the cache."_

_"How hot is it?"_ Owen asked.

_"I won't know until I'm inside,"_ Jack answered. _"But you might want to —"_ He broke off. _"UNIT will cordon off the area and designate it a hot zone. It might be contained just in the immediate area of the ship, but if the reactor's damaged —"_

_"Open line, people!"_ Tosh reminded them. _"Rhiannon and the kids have heard every word, and unless you're relaxing the rules…"_

_"I'll talk to Ianto about that,"_ Jack said. _"He has a say in the matter."_

"My brother's dead, you idiot!" Rhiannon shouted, startling the children in the back, who started crying again. She parked the car, noting the blond man approaching her. "I saw him die, and if you think —"

_"Ianto's fine,"_ Jack interrupted. _"He's right here with me, on the line with UNIT. We'll explain later, OK? I'll get him on the line to you as soon as I can."_

Andy, a tall blond man with a grim smile, pulled open Rhiannon's door. "Hi, I'm Andy Davidson. Please come along with me, Mrs. Davies. Kids, you, too."

"You work with Ianto?" she asked as she climbed down. She motioned for the children to join her. They huddled around her, Mica and Siobhan gripping her hands.

"Yeah, as of a few hours ago," Andy said with a more happy smile. "But I've known about him and Torchwood, in a general way, for a year and a half when my old partner was recruited. I was with the police."

_"Andy, stop the small talk and get them inside!"_ Jack shouted, audible from the still-open door. _"We need you and Owen here to contain this!"_

A short skinny man in jeans and a Metallica t-shirt came up behind them from the tourist office door Rhiannon had ignored. He carried two large carryalls with him. They were labeled with the radiation symbol.

"No need to shout," the man grumbled as he opened the boot to put the bags inside. He turned to Rhiannon to introduce himself. "Dr. Owen Harper." He motioned to Andy. "Follow Andy. Go!" Owen climbed into the SUV.

Without anything else to do, Rhiannon gathered the children with her and followed the former police officer towards the tourist office door.

"You sure you know where to go?" she asked, noting the disarray inside the tourist office. "It's your first day, they said."

"I've been doing orientations for a few weeks, getting to know the procedures and layout of the base and that sort of thing. It's more like I've been with Torchwood two weeks, but today's my first day of active duty." Andy lowered himself to be on the same eye-level as the children. "You kids want to know a secret?" he asked. David nodded, but the two girls pressed their heads into Rhiannon's sides. "We have a dinosaur for a pet," Andy said.

Both girls looked at him, their eyes wide.

"A dinosaur?" David demanded. "That's impossible!"

"Not anymore," Andy said. He rose, winked at Rhiannon, and pressed the red button to open the door to access the Hub. "Come on." Andy proceeded them along the dark corridor, then herded them into the lift.


	82. Chapter 82: A Day in the Death, Part 3

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 82: A Day in the Death, Part 3**

A/N: I'm enjoying writing this episode's chapters so much that there's a lot more than I expected there to be, so here's one update, with another coming very soon. Thank you to all the new people who are favoriting and following!

And for those wondering when I'm getting back to my I'anto and J'ack story, I don't have a set time yet. I've written half of the next chapter, but the second half isn't coming as easily, so I'm waiting a bit for my muse to return. I'll post it as soon as it's ready. Meanwhile, enjoy this story!

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Ianto stumbled out of his sister's house just in time to see the SUV drive away. The pain of dying and coming back to life almost overwhelmed him. His vision blurred slightly and his mouth felt like it was full of cotton wool. _How can Jack deal with this pain all the time? _he thought wearily. He blinked. _Wait, that's Jack! Who's driving the SUV? Why is it leaving? _Jack approached him, two plasma rifles over his shoulder.

"You OK?" Jack asked, pressing a warm hand over the worst of the scarring on his chest. The pain seemed to lift slightly and his vision cleared, just being near Jack. Ianto nodded. Jack smiled grimly and kissed him quickly before handing him one of the rifles. "They're soldiers. I killed one of them because he was threatening me, which means there's one still out there. A ship that size will only carry two. We've got to sweep the area. Think you're up to it?"

"I killed the other one," Ianto answered. "Before it killed me," he explained. They walked into the house. "It shot me, and the bullet exploded in my shoulder, blew my arm off, I think."

"Ah, that would explain the scarring pattern," Jack murmured, taking a closer look at Ianto's chest and shoulder. "It should heal fine, though. Looks like the arm reattached itself rather than you having to grow a new one. That's much faster and less painful," he explained matter-of-factly. "Let's go take a look at what we have." Ianto led him to the kitchen, where the dead alien lay. Jack handed Ianto his rifle and pulled the helmet from the body. "Chula. Definitely Chula." He looked up at Ianto. "I had a Chula ship once. I loved it. It helped me and the Doctor save the planet." He grinned happily. "Too bad it was destroyed in the attempt. I would have loved to see if it would fit in the TARDIS."

"Well, there's one out back, if you want to see what's what," Ianto pointed out.

"You might want a shirt?" Jack suggested with a raised eyebrow. "Not that _I _mind, of course, but we're going to have police and probably UNIT here, especially if the ship is radioactive, so…"

"I suppose I can borrow one of Johnny's," Ianto muttered with a slight shudder. "I'll never hear the end of it. Between being outed by Susan down the corner, dying in front of Rhi, and wearing one of Johnny's shirts… Oh, God, and we have that interview this afternoon!"

"Shit. I forgot about that. Better start getting things squared away." Jack reached up to activate his comms. "Tosh, it's confirmed Chula. No survivors of the crash. The ship is mostly intact, so you and I can work on fixing it once we get it to a secure location."

Jack followed Ianto out to the backyard while he talked, now that Ianto was wearing a striped button-down shirt that was much too large for him, though the sleeves were too short. Ianto motioned, indicating that his comm wasn't working. Jack nodded absently, his eyes locked on the ship in front of them.

"Owen, we've got two bodies — no, one mostly-whole body that Ianto took out, just a bullet in its head, and one body that's mostly goo. You can use it for your tests before you autopsy the other one. Nothing about them should be poisonous, but you shouldn't take any unnecessary risks. Oh, and it seems like their bullets explode after touching flesh for a few seconds, so bring containment cases and those gloves to go with them. I'll to the actual collection of them, but we don't have —" Jack paused, staring at the contents of the back shed Ianto opened.

"Goddess, look at this! When did you leave this here?" he demanded of Ianto, then held up a hand to keep him from answering. "No, let me guess. When I was gone?" Ianto nodded, a sheepish smile on his face. Jack chuckled, blew him a kiss. "Brilliant, just brilliant. Everyone, my boyfriend is even cleverer than we suspected! He left a cache of equipment here, just in case. Fantastic! I'm sending Rhi —"

"_Jack, you're on the open line,"_ Toshiko interrupted. "_It's feeding to Rhiannon in the SUV. Plus, I have UNIT and Kathy Swanson on the phone. Something about the ship is messing with the comms. It'll take a while for me to isolate them, so..." _

"Ianto will take the UNIT call. Send it directly to his mobile. You still have that, right?" he asked. Ianto gave him a thumbs up as he pulled it from his trouser pocket. "Great. I'll deal with Kathy. Rhiannon, can you hear me?"

***TW TW TW***

"Let me get this straight," Ianto said, his voice muffled by the helmet of the bright orange radioactivity hazard suit. "_You_ —" he indicated Jack "— owned one of _these_?" He pointed at the spaceship.

"Yep," Jack answered proudly, his hands on his hips as he looked over the ship. "If by _own_, you mean _possessed_. I stole it. And it was a beauty! Ion crystal Faster Than Light drive, full humanoid medbay, configurable for over 10,000 species, plus all the subspecies, tractor beam, transmat, chameleon circuits —"

"I get the idea," Ianto interrupted. "So you can fly it out of here?"

"If it still works." Jack grinned, ignoring Ianto's skeptical look. "Come on, it'll be an adventure!" They walked up to the hull and Jack pressed a few buttons on his Vortex Manipulator. A doorway opened and a metal ladder slid into place. He climbed up, Ianto following. They stood in an airlock, five meters by six. The door closed behind them and a mauve light flashed above the far door. "Computer, configure for species Human, subspecies GammaPhi5067 and Human, subspecies AlphaAlpha1983," Jack said, winking at Ianto.

"PLEASE WAIT. CONFIGURING." The computer intoned in a bored female voice.

"Subspecies?" Ianto whispered, hoping he wouldn't disturb the computer at its work.

"Planet of origin and birth year," Jack explained. "It's one of the ways spacefaring peoples learn to identify each other. The computer on this ship, if it's anything like the one I had, will know that."

"What are you configuring it for?"

"Air. I want us to be able to breathe without needing the suits. The Chula need much more nitrogen in their air than would be healthy for us. The ship will calculate the average air mix for humans born on our respective planets, in our respective years, and find a mix that suits both of us."

"Why not just configure it to Earth right now? That's what we've been breathing. Or use Earth's air?"

"Because Earth's air is full of pollutants and chemicals. If we're going to fly this thing, we need the air to be as pure as possible, so it doesn't strain the recycling system as much. It's a closed system when we're in flight. In terms of air, you need more oxygen and argon than I do. We both need less carbon dioxide than is in Earth's air, and I can breathe more nitrogen than you, though it gets uncomfortable. It's all about evolution. There will also be a slight increase in hydrogen for you, since it's in my planet's atmosphere. It shouldn't be dangerous. If it would be, the computer just wouldn't put it in the mix."

"But, correct me if I'm wrong, you've lived on Earth far longer than anywhere else, haven't you? Wouldn't your lungs be adapted for here?"

"True, but if we're on recycled air, we want it as close to ideal as possible." Jack patted Ianto's shoulder. "Don't worry about it too much for today. If the ship's in really good condition, we might have a much easier clean-up than anticipated and we'll be able to make our interview on time."

"Miracles have been known to happen," Ianto said softly.

"If the damage isn't too bad, I might not even need Tosh to fix this thing. I could —"

"_Jack? Andy and I just got here," _Owen said through the open comms.

Ianto fidgeted, wishing he could adjust the earpiece he'd put in his ear before putting on the helmet. Clicking between channels with his jaw using the sub-dermal unit was so much easier for situations like this. As it was, he was on a private line with Jack, but could hear the others because of whatever issue Tosh was having, though he couldn't respond to them.

"_What would you like us to start with?" _Owen asked.

"Take the bodies back to the Hub," Jack answered. "I did a sweep for the bullets, and they're in the containment case by the front door. The Chula weapons, too. Those go in the armory, of course, but keep them in the containment cases. I want to look them over before anyone else does. Then coordinate with UNIT and wait for me and Ianto to figure out the ship."

"_You mean for you to figure it out, and him to look pretty sitting there next to you," _Owen snarked.

"Well, he _is_ gorgeous!" Jack exclaimed.

"He's right here, you know," Ianto muttered.

"Your comms aren't working very well," Jack pointed out. "Owen, I forgot to tell you that Ianto needs a new sub-dermal comm inserted. His was blown out earlier and he has a regular earpiece instead. But that one's busted, so all he has is a private line to me."

"_So that's why his voice has been so muffled. I'll see what I can do. I'm not sure how many Tosh has left." _

"_Three," _Tosh said, breaking into the conversation. "_And it'll take a while to make more. So we can give one to Ianto and one to Andy, but I'll have to keep the last one as a reference when I make the next set. If you end up hiring the guy you're interviewing later —" _

"_You know, I'm not sure I need one," _Andy interrupted. "_I don't like the idea of having a mobile under my skin. It's creepy! So feel free to save it for the new guy." _

"_You think so now, mate, wait until you accidentally hear Jack and Ianto —" _

"Enough, Owen," Jack said. "Andy, you'll get one if I tell you to get one. It's in your contract."

"_It is?" _Andy demanded, alarmed.

"_No," _Tosh said with a sigh. "_It's only encouraged. Don't tease him like that, Jack." _

"No harm in a little fun!"

"Remember the last time you indulged in a 'little fun' at the wrong time?" Ianto asked in an undertone. "What did I tell you then?"

"OK! Back to task," Jack exclaimed, rubbing his gloved hands together. The light above the airlock door into the ship turned from mauve to green.

"CONFIGURATION COMPLETE. WELCOME ABOARD."


	83. Chapter 83: A Day in the Death, Part 4

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 83: A Day in the Death, Part 4**

A/N: More fun with the Chula spaceship. Enjoy!

.

"Computer, are the radiation levels inside the ship safe for us?" Jack asked.

"AFFIRMATIVE. NO SPECIAL COVERING REQUIRED."

"Thanks," Jack said with a smile, tapping the keypad by the door of the airlock. It whooshed open. "What about outside?"

"RADIATION LEVELS UNSAFE FOR HUMANS AND OTHER LIVE ORGANIC MATTER ON PLANET HUMAN ALPHALPHA WITHIN A FIVE HUNDRED METER RADIUS OF THE HULL," the computer reported.

"Owen, Andy, Tosh, you hear that?"

_"Yeah, we heard,"_ Owen grumbled. _"I was hoping we wouldn't actually need these suits."_

_"I'm letting UNIT know the perimeter,"_ Tosh said._ "I added another five hundred meters, just to keep them farther away. Looks like the police have already evacuated the block and the two on either side of the ship. I've asked all of them, police and civilians, to go to the hospital to be checked for reactions to the radiation. UNIT will follow up, so we don't have to."_

_"Thank God for that!"_ Owen interjected. _"Finally, something UNIT is good for, keeping work off my desk. I'll check Ianto's sister and the kids when I get back to the Hub, though. Personal touch, and all that,"_ he grumbled. _"Wouldn't want to give your family a bad impression, now, would we?"_

"Good idea about both those things, Tosh," Jack said. He pulled off his helmet, Ianto copying him. "How are Rhiannon and the children?"

_"They're settling in the conference room with some food and Owen's video games. David fell in love with Myfanwy."_

"Of course," Ianto said, leaning close to Jack's ear so the others would be sure to hear him. "How does Rhi seem with everything?"

_"As far as I can tell, she's handling it well,"_ Tosh answered. _"She seemed more concerned about the kids than anything else. I told her you were fine and would be back here as soon as possible, but she didn't say much about it."_

Jack put a hand on Ianto's arm to get his attention. "Let's give her some time to come to terms with you working for Torchwood and being alive again before we focus on it. We have a lot to do here."

Ianto sighed. "I suppose you're right."

"Computer, can you negate or clean up the radiation outside?" Jack asked after giving Ianto a quick kiss of reassurance.

"AFFIRMATIVE."

"So do it," Jack ordered. "How long will it take?"

"ESTIMATED CLEAN-UP TIME: THREE HOURS."

"Do you have nanobots? Or nanogenes? Would that decrease the needed time?"

"AFFIRMATIVE. USE OF NANOBOTS WILL CLEAR RADIATION TO SAFE LEVELS IN FIVE MINUTES."

"Great! Do that!"

"ACCESS CODE REQUIRED TO ALLOW NANOBOT USAGE."

"Hmm, I'll get on that," Jack replied. He followed the small corridor to the main control area of the ship and settled into the pilot's chair. He handed his helmet back to Ianto, who put it down beside his own on a bench. Ianto moved to stand behind Jack and put his hands on Jack's shoulders.

"Will you look at this?" Jack asked breathlessly, running his hands over the control panel and readouts. "It's practically in perfect condition! It's brand new!" He began pressing buttons and consulting his Vortex Manipulator. "Computer, what's the year?"

"HUMAN GALACTIC STANDARD 5127."

Jack continued pressing buttons. With a flourish, he flipped a switch.

_"What's wrong with it? Why did it crash? Can we fix it?"_ Tosh asked, her voice piped in through the ship's speakers. Jack reached up to deactivate his comm. Ianto did the same.

"It looks like a few of the atmospheric thrusters blew when it fell through the Rift," Jack explained, pointing to a particular display that didn't mean much to Ianto. "Other than that, it's in great condition. I don't even need your help to get her moving. There's two atmospheric thrusters left. I can fly with only two, if I have to. Hell, I've flown with only one before. I can get this girl home!" he enthused. "And, even better, the Chameleon Circuit is working! She'll be invisible!" He turned to Ianto, grinning like a kid at Christmas, his eyes wide and twinkling.

"I'm not sure I like that look," Ianto grumbled.

"It's a brand new Chula ship, Ianto! It's a newer model than the one I had. Look at all these features! We can park her on our roof!"

"We are not parking a spaceship on the Plass!" Ianto declared. "There's not room for it. I can find us a warehouse."

"When I was in London, I tethered it to Big Ben," Jack said with a tinge of pride in his voice. "I never once forgot where I was parked, I can tell you that." He paused dramatically. "_And_ I didn't get a single parking ticket!"

"That was 1941. You are not tethering it to a Cardiff landmark. That would create havoc with air traffic control."

"Not if they don't know it's there."

"Jack…"

Jack's enthusiasm wasn't dimmed at all. "Anyway, I meant on the roof of our building, not the roof of the Hub," he explained. "We could go on little trips, see the universe on a weekend and come back in time for Monday's staff meeting. Doesn't that sound brilliant? We'll soon have the staff that the occasional weekend without us won't matter as much. You've been wanting a holiday, haven't you? Just the two of us?"

"Our building? You mean, above our flat? Above our _flat_?" Ianto growled, irritated. "How am I supposed to keep anything clean when you're tracking in space debris every day?" he demanded angrily. "It's bad enough now with blood and Weevil guts and alien mucus and everything else you bring home because half the time you can't be bothered to shower before you leave the Hub! No. I won't allow it." He crossed his arms over his chest. "No spaceship at our flat."

"But, Ianto —" Jack pouted.

"No."

"But —"

"I said no, Jack."

_"Ifan Jones! If you can have a bloody dinosaur as a pet, you can bloody well let your boyfriend have a bloody spaceship!"_ Rhiannon shouted through the comms. _"And while you're at it, you can take the five seconds to reassure your sister that you're alive after she watched you die!_

_"I swear Mum brought you up with better manners than this._

_"I was so worried about you! The kids were worried. But no, you go on and have your little adventure and leave your poor family alone in a wet, dark underground base with a bunch of strangers and monsters and aliens, without any explanation of any kind… No, you couldn't be bothered to tell me anything, could you?_

_"Even Jack was more comforting than you! Remember Jack? The boyfriend you've been seeing for two years without telling me? The man you've moved in with? Were you going to have a flat warming? Were you even going to tell me about him?_

_"Bloody Hell, Ianto, we love you, you daft sod! We're your family. Don't treat us like this!"_

"Rhi — I — I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you —"

_"That's better. Now you'll both have to come back to ours for Sunday dinner once our kitchen is put back together. And Christmas! You've got to come for Christmas. There's no way your boss can make you work that day when you're dating him and he'll be coming with you to ours."_

"Ooh, I get to meet the family!" Jack exclaimed happily.

"How long have you been listening in?" Ianto wondered.

_"Oh, just a few minutes. I was settling in the kids down in the conference room and came up here in time to hear Jack talking about atmospheric thrusters, or some such. Very science fiction, if you ask me. Very flash. Your Jack sounds like quite the catch, though! He can fly a spaceship! And he's in charge of this whole place? That's brilliant, that is. Toshiko says —"_

"I'm turning off the comms if we can't be at least a little professional, people," Jack warned, though he was grinning. "Ianto and I will talk to Rhiannon when we get back. Won't we, gorgeous?" he confirmed, smiling at Ianto. Feeling completely put upon but knowing Jack was right, Ianto rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Yes."

"Good. Now, back to business. What's the status on UNIT?"

_"They have the perimeter set up,"_ Andy reported._ "But they only want to talk to you, Jack, or Ianto."_

Jack sighed and returned to pressing buttons on the control panel. "They've already talked to Ianto _and_ Tosh, they can talk to Tosh again. What's the status of the house and surrounding?"

_"It's structurally sound, but just,"_ Owen reported. _"I haven't taken a look at the neighbors' houses. Andy, get over here and help me carry this body!"_

_"Jack, I'm getting a strange energy reading at your location,"_ Tosh warned.

Jack grinned. "Good. That's me. Wait a minute and let's see if this works." Jack pressed a button on his Vortex Manipulator, then a quick sequence on the control panel. The engines of the ship screamed to life. Another button and the sound quieted to a low hum. Ianto stumbled at the ship jerked and rocked. "Come on, girl, you can do this," Jack encouraged, his hands on the controls.

_"Holy shit, Harkness, what the bloody hell are you doing?"_ Owen squawked.

"I've got the engines working." The ship lurched suddenly. "And now we're 100 meters over the house. Chameleon Circuit activated." He pressed a button.

_"Jack! You're not on our monitors anymore!"_ Tosh shouted. _"Where are you? What's happened?"_

_"And you disappeared,"_ Owen added. _"You won't hear me say this often, but that's impressive!"_

"Ah, the marvels of modern technology," Jack said, grinning like a schoolboy. He stood up and stripped off the environmental suit. "I'll be able to clear the radiation in a few minutes, once I get the rest of the access codes, so this mission will be wrapped up soon, at least out here. Owen, can you make sure my coat gets into the SUV? It's by the front hall. I couldn't wear it under the radiation suit."

_"Yeah, yeah. And I'll lock that cache of Ianto's while I'm at it. I'm surprised you didn't do it yourself, Teaboy,"_ he added as an aside to Ianto.

"I had a bit on my mind, Owen. Just died, remember?"

_"Yeah, that'll do it for you. Are you OK? Any problems?"_

Ianto removed his hazard suit, then peeled off Johnny's shirt, checking on the scarring on his chest while he was at it. "I'm healing, but I don't heal as quickly as Jack. He would be totally fine by now, but I've got some angry looking scrapes."

_"So you really were dead?"_ Rhiannon asked. _"And you're not anymore?"_

_"Oh, yeah, Ianto and Jack are the same like that,"_ Owen explained. _"They can tell you about how it happened."_

_"But, what does it mean?"_

"It means that neither Ianto nor I will be alone," Jack said. "We're going to live a very long time, Rhiannon, and we're going to have each other. For more time that I care to talk about, I feared that I'd never have that with anyone, because I thought I was one of a kind in that respect. I thought I'd just watch all my partners grow old and die without me. But Ianto's changed all that." He smiled at his lover. "We can talk about the other implications later."

_"You better!"_

"Rhi, just trust me and my friends right now, OK? We know what we're doing. I'll bring Jack by later," Ianto offered.

Jack pressed a button and the interior of the ship was bathed in a gentle blue light. "Computer, activate nanobots," he said.

"ACTIVATING NANOBOTS. RADIATION CLEAN-UP IN PROGRESS. ESTIMATED TIME TO COMPLETION: FIVE MINUTES."

"Kids, I'm going off the comms while the clean-up is working," Jack said. He pressed another button, then turned in the chair to face Ianto. "I just muted us. How are you doing with all this?"

Ianto gratefully took the hand Jack extended and let himself be pulled into Jack's lap. "Are we really going to go forward with this interview? I'm completely knackered."

"We've put him off twice before," Jack pointed out. "And I really want to get it done, see if he's a good fit. We need someone like him on staff. Would it be better if I do the interview myself? Bring you in for the second round?"

"I could meet him, I suppose. Play the receptionist and let him into the base, as I did Gwen. Get an impression of him, suss him out with my empathy, see how he responds."

"His psi rating is high enough that he'll be able to feel you doing it, even with all the practice you've been doing. It'll be interesting to see his response."

"I won't let him read me."

"No, you shouldn't. And if he tries beyond a surface scan, that will tell us something. If he's able to read you without you knowing, that'll tell us several other things about his ethics. Because there's no way he'll be able to read me, not with my training, and I'll feel him trying."

"So we'll do it that way. I haven't been able to play the receptionist in a while," Ianto said with a smirk.

"Well, we have a UNIT conference next month," Jack murmured, starting to kiss Ianto. "You could come as my downtrodden, put-upon PA who has to do all the shit jobs I ask you to do because I'm the rude and overbearing Captain Harkness they all expect."

"You could be extra obnoxious to them," Ianto murmured. "Flirt with everyone, be loud and racy, ignore protocol, make unreasonable demands for money and information."

"You'd like that?" Jack asked, his breathing a little quicker as he nibbled on Ianto's neck. "Would it turn you on?"

"Oh, yeah," Ianto whispered, running his hands through Jack's hair, down his neck, over his shoulders. "I love it when you're in charge, Captain. You could sit at dinner with the generals and call me over to remind me to make sure you have condoms for later…send me away to get them…give me very specific instructions about what kinds to get, what flavors…then invite one or two of them back to the suite…I'd have to turn them away if they actually showed up, of course, because you forgot you were already engaged for the night…but you'd be behind the door, jerking off loudly, getting ready for me, but they wouldn't have to know that's what was going on…"

"Yeah?" Jack's hands started wandering, lower and lower until he was massaging Ianto's erection through his trousers. "You'd do all that for me?"

"As your personal assistant, it's my job to make sure that you have everything you need and that you're completely satisfied in every way," Ianto answered, a moan escaping his lips as Jack nibbled on his ear.

Jack started unbuckling Ianto's belt.

"DECONTAMINATION COMPLETE."

Jack groaned. "Fuck. They'll have heard that."

"Just when it was getting good, too."

"We'll find time, don't worry," Jack said, kissing Ianto quickly before pushing him off his lap. He returned to the controls, pressed some buttons. "Everyone, the radiation's been cleared. Owen, Andy, you don't need those suits anymore."

_"Thank God, I was boiling in here!"_ Owen exclaimed. They heard the unmistakable sound of a pressure valve being released. _"Oh, fresh air, how I love you."_

_"What's next?"_ Tosh asked.

"Ianto and I have that interview at three, so we're going to go park this baby, then get changed and come back to the Hub. Rhiannon, Torchwood will put your family up for a few days until we figure out what to do about your place. Is that OK?"

_"Um, I guess."_

"Don't worry," Ianto added. "I have a place in mind. You'll love it. Tosh, do you mind taking care of the details?"

_"The usual hotel? I can do that. When will you two be back here?"_

"A few hours," Jack answered. "And we'll probably have to go straight to the interview…" he paused, glanced at Ianto, then back to the controls. "We'll arrange for dinner with the Davies for tonight, if that's OK with everyone? At the hotel restaurant?" Ianto nodded.

_"I'll have to call Johnny,"_ Rhiannon muttered. _"Oh my God! In all this, I forgot to call him!"_

_"I spoke to him while you were settling the children,"_ Tosh said. _"He knows everyone's safe, and I'll call him again so he knows to meet you at the hotel. I can make the dinner reservation while I'm at it."_

_"You're very efficient, aren't you?"_

_"Not as efficient as Ianto,"_ Tosh replied, though Ianto could hear a blush at the compliment in her voice.

"All right, that's settled," Jack said. "Owen, Andy, are you two good to go?"

_"We'll be fine, Jack,"_ Owen answered._ "Go, have your post-death sha—"_

"Owen," Ianto growled warningly.

_"Sorry. Sorry. Forgot about the sister."_

"Kids, Ianto and I are running silent while we fly, so don't worry about us," Jack said. "We'll let you know when we're back." He muted the comms again. "Computer, are all the nanobots back inside and accounted for?" Jack asked.

"AFFIRMATIVE."

"Good. And the broken thrusters are contained for flight?"

"AFFIRMATIVE."

"Doing pre-flight check," Jack said, his hands moving quickly over the control panel, his eyes flicking from screen to screen. "Computer, are we set for launch?"

"AFFIRMATIVE. ALL READINGS GREEN FOR LAUNCH."

Jack grabbed the control stick and turned to Ianto. "Hold on, sweetheart, this will be a bit bumpy." He winked.

Ianto had just enough time to sit on the bench and grab a handhold before Jack engaged the thrusters and took off. The ship lifted into the sky, moving rapidly upwards, passing through clouds to find blue sky above them. Jack let out a whoop of joy.

"Feel those G's!" he shouted gleefully. He adjusted something on the control panel and moved the control stick. The ship rolled wing over wing, 360 degrees, once, twice, three times before he brought it back to a regular pitch. Ianto clung to the handhold, gritting his teeth and trying to keep his breakfast down. Their helmets and suits shifted on the floor, the power of the thrusters keeping them from flying around the cabin, Jack was moving the ship so quickly.

Suddenly, they burst through the atmosphere into the black night of space. Ianto stared out the viewfinder, mesmerized by the stars.

"Wow," he breathed, barely able to get the word past his lips.

"It gets better," Jack said, the grin on his face huge and happy. He pointed. In front of them the Moon glowed, huge and white and pitted with craters.

"That's the Moon," Ianto said. He let go of the handhold and stepped closer to Jack. "That's the Moon," he repeated.

"Yep," Jack confirmed. "And here's Earth." He shifted the controls so that Earth appeared before them. Blue and green and brown, with white clouds and ice caps, it was the most beautiful thing Ianto had ever seen. Almost. He looked at Jack, met his blue eyes, found the most beautiful thing.

"You took me into space," he whispered, awed. "You took me into space."

"I did," Jack replied, still grinning. "Do you like it?"

"You took me into space," Ianto repeated, not yet able to say anything else.

Jack shook his head fondly and pressed a few buttons. The view changed, Earth on the left, space on the right. He turned in his chair to face Ianto directly.

"AUTOPILOT ENGAGED. GEOSYNCHRONOUS ORBIT CONFIRMED." the Computer intoned.

They stared at each other for a very long moment.

"You took me into space!" Ianto said yet again, the excitement and happiness overflowing past his shields, giving Jack an insight into how he was feeling. Before Jack could react, Ianto was in his lap, kissing him passionately, hungrily. "I never thought I'd get to go, even working for Torchwood with all the tech we have," Ianto admitted after a moment. "And you took me here!"

"I'll take you anywhere in the galaxy you want to go," Jack murmured, working his hands under Ianto's shirt to caress his skin. "I'll show you far off worlds and planets and introduce you to aliens and anything you want. Everything you want that's in my power to give."

"You're what I want," Ianto declared, standing so he could strip off his clothes. Jack made quick work of his own. "And I want you _now_!"

"God, Ianto, come here!" Jack dragged Ianto back onto his lap, making use of the lube from his trouser pocket to slick himself up. Ianto settled onto Jack's cock with a groan of pleasure.

"Fuck me!" Ianto ordered, beginning to move. Jack grabbed his hips and thrust up into him, hard, found the perfect angle. Ianto moaned. "Fuck me, Jack. Right here, right now, in your spaceship in space, in your pilot's chair. Fuck me, Captain Jack Harkness!"

"Oh, _ashe'ha_, wait until I can fuck you in zero G," Jack managed as he latched onto Ianto's neck with his lips and teeth. "You're gonna love it!"

"I know, just concentrate on here and now for a bit, yeah?" Ianto shifted, letting himself fall, slipping along Jack's cock, increasing their pleasure.

Jack shut his eyes and thrust harder, faster, jerkier, his motions becoming erratic as he neared his completion. Ianto clamped down as he claimed Jack's mouth, sending Jack over the edge, following behind him as he felt the heat of Jack's release in his body.

They sat there, holding each other and catching their breath for a few minutes. "Home and shower?" Jack finally suggested. "Maybe some food before the interview?"

"You'll cook?" Ianto asked. "I'm too tired to even put a sandwich together."

Jack smiled, resting his forehead against Ianto's. "I'll cook. I'll even wipe off the space dust before I go inside."

"I don't usually mind, you know," Ianto protested. "It's just overwhelming to die like that."

"Well, it's only your third death, the only one you knew you'd wake up from. It's going to take some getting used to. I think you have a right to be overwhelmed."

"Hmm, at least I have you with me to help," Ianto mused. "You didn't have anyone!"

"I have you now, though."

"You do." Ianto snuggled against Jack's chest, sighing. Jack tilted his head up and kissed him gently.

"I love you," he whispered against Ianto's lips. He ran his hands down Ianto's back one last time before playfully slapping his ass. "Now let's go get ready to meet yet another Jones. I swear, it's the most common name around here!"

"Well, at least Martha didn't accept your job offer, otherwise we might be faced with having three of us on staff," Ianto replied with a slight smirk. "We'd easily be able to take over and gain control of the world."

"You've already got control of _my_ world," Jack pointed out in a seductive voice.

"Cheesy bugger," Ianto said with a laugh. He cuffed Jack's head gently and tugged on his hair.

"I have a friend who calls me Captain Cheesecake. I call him Mickey Mouse."

"You earned the nickname honestly, at least. Good thing I don't mind a little cheese in my diet."

Jack burst into a delighted laugh, hugging Ianto tightly.


	84. Chapter 84: A Day in the Death, pt 5

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 84: A Day in the Death, Part 5 (Interlude)**

A/N: A very short Interlude chapter before we find out who Jack and Ianto are interviewing. Enjoy!

.

.

"Do you think Jack will Retcon Rhiannon and the kids?" Tosh asked as she stood in the greenhouse watching Ianto and Jack talking with Rhiannon by the ratty couch.

Owen turned away from the plants he was watering and stepped up behind her to look at them over her shoulder. "I doubt it," he finally said.

"So she gets to keep her memories because she's Ianto's sister, but Rhys couldn't keep his because Gwen didn't have the relationship with Jack that Ianto has?" Tosh wondered.

"Torchwood is changing," Owen said, trying to put to words a feeling he'd been having lately. "We're all changing. Jack's much more relaxed than he used to be, and he's relaxing some of the rules. Ianto's a good influence on him."

"I love Jack, like a brother, of course, but I just don't understand him or his decisions half the time. Why her and not Rhys?"

"Gwen also killed Jack," Owen pointed out. "She did her best to trigger him, too. That's a downright nasty thing to do."

"You're right, that _was_ horrible. You're more relaxed than you used to be, too," Tosh said softly, her eyes still on the trio below them. Every so often Rhiannon would glance at the computer monitor that had a CCTV feed of the conference room and the children, but they were focused on their video games and didn't need her with them.

"I've been doing some soul-searching," Owen muttered. "It's not easy."

"You? Really?"

"Hey! I'm trying to get rid of my wanker reputation, so let me be, OK?"

"I know. I'm just teasing," Tosh said quickly. "You haven't been out on the pull lately."

"Not since Jack came back, actually," Owen admitted. Tosh turned to look at him, a question on her face. "Seeing _him_ of all people being willing to openly commit to Ianto made me rethink my life. I've made up my mind. I want to have a go at something with you, Tosh. I'm not saying it's going to be perfect, and I'm probably going to fuck up, but I want to try, if you're still interested." He met her eyes, hope shining in his own.

"What took you so long?" she asked quietly, drawing him forward and kissing him firmly. His arms came up to hold her as hers slipped around his neck.

"Oh God! Sorry! Sorry!" They pulled apart to see Andy standing in the doorway. Tosh blushed and turned away from him. Owen just scowled. "Sorry," Andy said again. "I didn't know you two were —"

"We're not," Owen interrupted. "I mean, not until just now."

"Really? You mean I just interrupted your first kiss?" Andy blanched. "That's rubbish. I'm really sorry."

Tosh sighed and turned back, now that she had her com posture back. "Torchwood and bad timing go together like fish and chips," she said, attempting a smile.

"Well, as long as you all don't expect me to hook up with that bloke Jack and Ianto are interviewing later," Andy said. "I only date women!"

"Torchwood and bisexuality go together like fish and chips, too, mate," Owen said pointedly. "Me, Tosh _and_ Ianto all had bisexual experiences because of this place. Gwen too, for that matter."

"What? Gwen? She's straighter than anyone I know!"

"Want to see the video?" Tosh asked, winking. "I think Owen saved a copy before I deleted it from Mainframe."

"How do you know about that?" Owen demanded. Tosh shrugged.

"If it has to do with the computers, I know it."

"So, wait, Ianto and Jack… they've been together a while, right?" Andy asked, peering out the window at the couple and Rhiannon. "Are you telling me Jack's the first guy Ianto's been with? I don't believe it! They're all over each other! I've walked in on them making out at least three times, and I've only been here a few weeks!"

"Yep," Owen answered. "Though why he waited that long is beyond me. He's a walking stereotype. Well-dressed, soft-spoken, has a thing for cleanliness and interior design…"

Tosh smacked him across the back of the head. "If you're going to date me, you're going to have to stop insulting my best friend!"

"Ow! OK, OK, I get it! Ianto's the king of the world!"

"And I'll make sure he has a soundbyte of you saying that for his mobile," Tosh said with a smirk. "Now, it looks like they're finishing their talk, so we can all get back to work." She smiled at the two men and left the greenhouse.

"Are you sure you want to go out with her?" Andy asked Owen in an undertone. "She's a dragon in disguise, that one is. She'll eat you alive."

"And what a way to go!" Owen answered.


	85. Chapter 85: A Day in the Death, pt 6

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 85: A Day in the Death, Part 6**

A/N: In this chapter we learn who Jack is interviewing for a position at Torchwood. Enjoy!

.

"Hello, how can I help you?" Ianto asked cordially. He took a quick look at the young man who walked into the Tourist Office. He recognized the man from UNIT records. Matthew Jones, lieutenant, reassigned from America to Wales recently, and one of Jack's prospective employees. The man smiled confidently. He wore civilian clothes, a conservative suit and tie for one so young, but his stance was pure military.

"I'm here to see Captain Harkness. I have an appointment."

Ianto nodded and was reaching for the button to let him into the Hub when he felt the psychic probe. Matthew was reading him! Instincts Jack had been cultivating in him for years kicked in. His shields slammed up and he drew his gun in a swift move.

"Hands up, now!" Ianto shouted, slamming his free hand on the panic button that would alert Jack and the rest of the Hub to a problem. Matthew looked stunned. Taking the advantage of his surprise, Ianto dashed around the counter and had Matthew pressed face-down against the counter with his hands in cuffs behind his back in the minute it took for Jack to arrive. Matthew did not resist.

_Probably overkill, _Ianto thought as he met Jack's eyes. _It's been a very hard day, _he thought, hoping Jack would read the apology in his eyes. His shields were too tight for anything to get free, especially with a highly-rated telepath in front of him.

Jack took in the scene and motioned Ianto away from Matthew. Ianto backed away, keeping his gun leveled at their prisoner, committed now to the show. Once he could explain to Jack, he knew Jack would understand his reaction.

"Unauthorized psychic probe, Captain," Ianto reported, using Jack's title purposefully.

"Understood." Jack stepped forward and frisked Matthew for weapons, finding none. He put a hand on Matthew's shoulder. "I'm going to let you stand," Jack said softly. "Don't do anything stupid. As you can see, I have my staff well-trained."

"Yes, sir," Matthew managed, his face squished against the magazine Ianto had been leafing through. Jack retreated, folding his arms over his chest, giving Ianto a clear sight line again. Matthew straightened himself and stood at attention, as well as he could when restrained. He and Jack measured each other for a long minute.

"Ianto, give us a moment, please," Jack said, his voice firm. The Captain was speaking. Silently, Ianto slipped out of the office. Jack's eyes flicked to the CCTV camera above their heads and nodded ever so slightly, giving Ianto and the others permission to watch. He heard the click in his ear that told him Ianto was listening in on their private line, and probably watching on the CCTV app on his phone. "Name and rank," he snapped at Matthew.

"Lieutenant Matthew Jones, sir. UNIT call number P5Alpha176349." He attempted a salute before he remembered his arms were restrained. He settled on nodding his head.

"Call sign?"

"Ghost."

Jack nodded to himself. "Tell me, Mr. Jones, why is your call sign 'Ghost?'"

"Officially, I was killed in action almost three years ago. I've been part of UNIT's covert Gray Ops since I recovered ten months ago."

"Most people don't need to "die" to get into the Gray Ops," Jack pointed out.

"No, sir."

Jack waited.

"I lost my memory of two years during a reconnaissance mission. When I recovered, I was reassigned to Gray because of my special abilities."

"The psychic abilities you used on Ianto," Jack stated. "The ones you're trying to use on me despite the warning I gave you earlier." Matthew blanched.

"Yes, sir," he said softly.

"If you are going to work for me, you cannot be so obvious about using your abilities, Mr. Jones. Ianto and I are very good, and we are forgiving, but many of the people and creatures that I will ask you to read cannot have an inkling that you're reading them. They will not be as forgiving as I am. Honestly, I expected more subtlety from you."

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again."

"Good. Now, answer me this: Do you remember me?"

"Should I, sir?"

"Ask yourself that question," Jack said, producing a key to the cuffs and releasing Matthew's hands. "At ease."

Matthew shifted his feet slightly apart and settled his hands comfortably behind his back. He looked at Jack, who had moved to his former position, this time with his hands on his hips.

"How old are you?" Jack asked.

"Twenty-three, sir. Permission to surface read you, sir?" Matthew asked.

Jack could feel the hesitation in Matthew's voice, though he knew few people would be able to hear it. Matthew was good, whatever else he was. Young, but good. And to still be this good with two years of missing memories? Oh, Jack was looking forward to working with him! He remembered the last time he had seen Matthew and forced the memory down. It wouldn't do for him to see that yet. "Surface thoughts only, soldier," Jack finally said. "I'll know if you attempt anything deeper."

"Yes, sir." Matthew took two steps forward until he was only a few feet from Jack. He met his eyes. Jack nodded, giving him permission and immediately felt the deliberate touch against his mind.

_Why did he read Ianto? _Jack wondered, knowing Matthew was hearing his thoughts. _Why would he open himself so boldly, so artlessly for one with such skill? _

"There's something familiar about him," Matthew said nervously, unsure if he was supposed to respond. "I wondered if I'd known him before, from when I lost my memory. It was instinct."

"You'll need to learn to control your instinct if you work for me," Jack said. _And learn not to frighten those without formal training. _

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't realize. I assumed from how _he_ read _me_ that he was inviting me in and that he was trained. He was so polished about it."

"Ianto and I have been working together to develop his skills, but his abilities are mostly instinctual, rather than trained. We only began working on them eight months ago."

"How could he —"

_We're Torchwood. That's all you need to know for now._

"Sir."

"Did you get anything else from me?" Jack asked aloud, bringing his shields up, carefully but not too quickly, indicating that the psychic part of the interview was over. Matthew would know that Jack had read him, as well, and that he hadn't mentioned it yet was interesting.

"You've been in Cardiff for a very long time. Longer than you should be able to have been here. And yet, you don't belong here, either." Matthew paused. "And you know my mother," he whispered. "How do you know my mother?"

"She was my neighbor, for a time."

"I haven't seen her in years, not since she died. It happened during the time I can't remember."

"Your mother's very much alive, Matthew Barry," Jack said, watching the young man's face as he spoke. In his ear, Ianto gasped. "You spent a month living with her after a difficult assignment. UNIT told her you killed yourself because of the memories ten months ago."

"When I joined Gray Ops," Matthew mused to himself. "You called me Matthew Barry, but I'm Matthew Jones." He paused, his eyes going wide. "Or am I?" He looked at Jack with sudden panic in his eyes. "I'm Matthew Jones," he repeated. "We're all Jones," he declared. "For him." He blinked a few times. "For who? Who is this 'Jones' who's name I took?" He stepped forward, almost into Jack's personal space. Jack stepped forward as well, opened his mind, opened a certain box he'd prepared just for this moment.

"You're all Jones," he offered. "For him. Do you remember me now?"

Matthew looked up at Jack, wonder replacing the panic in his eyes as Jack's memories filtered into his mind in an organized rush. "Jack?" he whispered, not quite believing what he was reading from Jack, not sure he could refute it, either.

"Matthew," Jack answered, just as softly. "Matt." He raised a hand to cup Matthew's cheek. "One kiss is all you'll ever get from me," he continued. "One kiss — or nothing — if you want to work for me, which I very much hope you do. I'm with Ianto now, just as I was then. You'll have to find someone else."

"I only loved you because he did," Matthew replied, his own memories beginning to surface. "It was his love all along."

"Do you want the kiss?"

Silently, Matthew closed his eyes and nodded. Jack bent his head and kissed him gently but passionately. A goodbye kiss, though they would see each other every day. Matthew told Jack telepathically that he would take the job if it was formally offered. Jack smiled into the kiss and let him go.


	86. Chapter 86: A Day in the Death, Part 7

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 86: A Day in the Death, Part 7**

A/N: Here's my latest chapter. Next we will be seeing the new Torchwood Team in Action. Enjoy!

.

"So Matthew Jones is really Matthew Barry, Sharon's son?" Ianto asked as he watched the young man walk away from the Plass. He sighed and stood, brushing off his trousers from the dirt he accumulated by sitting on the Invisible Lift slab. "He didn't kill himself, as they told her?"

"_I thought it might be him," _Jack replied through their comm link. "_I hoped he was, for our sake as much as his and Sharon's. His identity was buried very deeply in the UNIT databases, and I feel lucky to have found him. We're going to have to relocate Sharon to keep her safe, now that we know for sure it's him and are going to recruit him from UNIT. Her security as their little spy has been compromised anyway, since we moved away from that building." _

"That might be a bit tricky. I can get her into a safe house, but not much more than that on short notice. And I'm sure they're bugging at least some of our safe houses, so I'd have to do a thorough search before we moved her. When were you thinking of doing it?"

"_You and I will have dinner with her tomorrow night, since tonight we'll be entertaining your family. She should be safe enough for a day, and Matt said he was willing to wait the day to see her again. We'll take her back to our flat then, have him join us there. Security's certainly high enough in our building, and I've paid more than my fair share of bribes to keep the security detail quiet about anything odd they might see and to forget anyone who visits us. Then we can find her another place. Maybe even in the building. I've missed living next to her, believe it or not." _

"She can't afford that building any more than I could have," Ianto pointed out. "And we've only just moved in!"

"_No, but, again, this is where I come in. I'll buy another flat, my estate agent will manage it, Sharon will deal with Grace in terms of rent and such, not me, and she won't need to know what we did for her, other than find her a safe place to live and reunite her with her son. Hell, if they wanted, Matt could live with her. It might be good for them. I wouldn't have a problem with that. Anyway, I have the money going to waste, and if I can't help my friends with it, what's it good for?" _

"I have to admit there's a certain amount of symmetry to this plan of yours," Ianto murmured, entering the Tourist Office and moving quickly to the secret door to the Hub. "I take it we're definitely hiring him?"

"_Didn't I tell you? He was my top choice. Someone who's fully field trained already, who's used to aliens, who has a very powerful psychic ability, and who has a personal connection to you and me. Perfect." _Jack took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "_He was as much of a friend as I could have on the __Valiant__. We didn't want to betray our connection, and we only rarely saw each other after that first meeting in the corridors, but we developed a code to be able to communicate. I liked him." _

Ianto paused at the cog wheel door. He glanced over at Jack, who was sitting in his office with a large grin on his face. "I've missed Sharon, too," Ianto admitted. "I'd gotten used to living next to her." He smiled to himself. "And she makes a very good chicken soup."

"_Well, she won't be right next to us, but she'll be in the building. I could tell when I invited her over for dinner that she misses us. She thinks of us as foster-sons, I think, despite the fact that I'm so much older than her." _

"You don't act like you're older than her, half the time," Ianto answered with a wink he made sure Jack saw. He moved off to the coffee machine. "Where are Owen and Tosh?"

"I gave them an early dinner so we could have the night off with your family once they get back," Jack answered, coming up behind Ianto as he made them coffee. He nuzzled Ianto's neck and kissed him gently. "From what I could tell, they're calling it an actual date. I sent Andy home, too. He's on stand-by, of course, but I don't think we need him on an overnight shift so soon into his time here." He sighed. "I think we need to hire an admin person. With you officially my second, I want you to be able to concentrate on some of the bigger-picture things, instead of all the day-to-day minutiae."

"You're suggesting giving me an assistant of my own?" Ianto asked, pressing back against Jack's crotch.

"Yeah. As Head Archivist of the Torchwood Institute, you deserve a staff, don't you think?"

"How many staff?"

"How many do you think you need?" Jack countered. "We'll see what I can squeeze from the Crown. With Andy and Matt, as well as someone for the tourist office, and an admin person, I'm not sure how many others we could justify. We've just effectively _doubled_ our staff."

"But Torchwood London employed over 800 people. Surely she can spare some more for us?"

"As I said, I'll see what I can do."

"I'd have to assess my schedule and duties and see what I'd feel comfortable letting someone else do." Ianto finished making the coffee and turned to face Jack. "There are some things that only I can do." They moved as one to kiss, wrapping their arms around each other. "I don't want to delegate _this_, after all," Ianto murmured against Jack's lips. He moved to nibble on Jack's earlobe.

"No, this is one thing only you can do," Jack replied, threading his fingers through Ianto's hair.

"But I could leave the filing to someone else. I could leave the non-essential research to someone else. Maybe even the database management, though I'd want to have a way to check their work."

"Don't forget the tourist office. If we hire someone for there, you'll never have to work up there again," Jack pointed out as he loosened Ianto's tie to get better access to Ianto's neck.

"That alone is worth it," Ianto agreed. He cupped Jack's ass, pulling him close. "Hell, Rhiannon reacted so well to everything, we might consider hiring _her_."

"Nepotism, much?" Jack asked with a grin.

"Well, let's see. I'm sleeping with my boss, Tosh and Owen are moving in the direction of dating, a former co-worker's former partner from another job just started here, we're going to hire a man who was psychically linked to me in an alternate timeline, who's mother is a neighbor and good friend to us, so… hiring my sister is practically _normal!" _

Jack laughed loudly and delightedly. "We're even more a family than Yvonne wanted T1 to be!" He lifted a leg to wrap it around Ianto's waist, grinding their erections together through the material of their trousers. "Are we doing this here?" he asked, his voice raspy with desire. "Do you think we have enough time?"

Ianto leaned back against the counter to give them some much-needed stability. He began undoing their belts and flies.

"I take that as a 'yes,'" Jack muttered. He pulled Ianto's shirt up so he could run his fingers along the bare skin of Ianto's back, blunt fingernails scraping his skin deliciously.

Ianto shivered. "Let me fuck you," he growled, dropping Jack's trousers and stroking Jack's erection purposefully. "Please."

"Where?"

"Right here. On your hands and knees."

Jack gave Ianto one last luxurious kiss before getting into position. Ianto followed him to the floor, kneeling behind him and plunging in.

"Ow! Yellow!" Jack yelped. Ianto paused, stroked Jack's lower back as he kissed his shoulders and gave him some time to get used to being filled. When Jack gave him a nod to continue, he started thrusting again. "No, Ianto, stop! It's too much," Jack gasped through gritted teeth.

Ianto cursed to himself in Welsh and pulled out. "Sorry! Sorry! Shit. I'm sorry!"

Jack lowered himself to the floor, catching his breath. "Just — try to tone it down, OK? You went too fast, didn't stretch me enough. It'll be fine. We can try again later."

"I'm really sorry," Ianto said again, running careful hands over Jack's thigh. Jack sat up and reached for his trousers. Ianto handed them over silently, pulled on his own.

"What's going on with you?" Jack asked as they got to their feet. "You're always so good about making sure I'm ready before we do that."

"I guess I'm still off from dying earlier," Ianto suggested. "I didn't mean to overreact to Matthew reading me like I did, either."

"We all have our bad days," Jack offered after a moment. "At some level, it's a good thing you reacted like that to Matt. It means your training has been worth it."

"But I hurt you just now," Ianto protested.

"Not very much," Jack pointed out. "And the important thing is that you stopped when I asked you to." Jack brushed his fingers across Ianto's cheek, trying to meet his eyes.

Ianto sighed sadly. "Maybe I should head home for a bit before we have to meet my family. Get my head in order again."

"That might be a good idea," Jack agreed. He pulled Ianto forward by the back of his neck and kissed him lightly to show him that things were OK between them. "I'll come by and pick you up?"

Ianto nodded tiredly in response. He wrapped his arms around Jack and held him tightly. He buried his face against Jack's shoulder, taking a few deep breaths and letting Jack's pheromones and strong arms calm him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again.

"Will you be up to this dinner tonight?" Jack asked, stroking his hands up and down Ianto's back.

"I think so. It's just a lot to take in in one day."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Jack said with a grimace. "Dying, coming back, aliens, trips to space, great sex, dealing with that spitfire of a sister of yours, interviewing a psychic for a job with us. Did I miss anything?"

"Not enough coffee," Ianto answered with a small smile. "I've got a withdrawal headache on top of everything."

"Goddess, we can't have that." Jack mock shuddered. "Go home, rest, have a coffee. I'll pick you up and we'll deal with all this later." Jack kissed Ianto one last time and pushed him in the direction of the garage. "That's an order!" he said with mock seriousness, a grin playing at the edges of his lips. Ianto, smiling, gave him the bird and disappeared out the door.

"Hey!" Jack shouted, calling Ianto back. Ianto paused and waited while Jack caught up with him. "Did you hear that Henry Parker died?"

"Henry Parker? That crazy millionaire that's obsessed with aliens?"

"Owen and Tosh went to check it out while we were at lunch. There will have to be an extensive clean up of his mansion."

"Oh, Lord, not another Eugene Jones with alien rocks made of Rice Krispies!" Ianto moaned.

"If you do a good job, I'll give you a blow job," Jack wheedled. "And you can take Andy with you to show him the difference between real alien and fake alien. Bring Matt to show him our procedures."

"You'll give me a blow job no matter what I do," Ianto pointed out smugly. "You can't go more than three days without blowing me."

"I think it's actually closer to one, now. I'm glad discovering you're like me has ramped up your sex drive."

"You _would_ like that, wouldn't you?" Ianto stepped forward to give Jack a lingering kiss. "Gotta go." Jack just smiled and waved him away.


	87. Chapter 87: A Day in the Death, part 8

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 87: A Day in the Death, part 8**

A/N: Sorry for the long time between updates. I'm definitely still working on the story, and will finish Season 2. I haven't decided about COE, but I have a few ideas for how to do it if I decide to. The next episode (Something Borrowed) has a number of parts that I want to get right for the story, so it can't be rushed. I also have a few other works in progress that I hope you take a look at. Read Ianto Wakes, which is complete, before Jack Wakes, which isn't finished, but is very actively being written. Now, enjoy a little bit of humor and fluff!

There's a bit of mature themes in this chapter.

.

Jack stood in the lobby of the St. David Hotel with a tolerant smile on his face as Ianto adjusted his collar. _He just wants an excuse to touch me in public,_ he thought to himself. _Ah well. It's been a very difficult day for him. _

"So, are there any acceptable displays of affection?" Jack finally asked when Ianto had finished. Ianto looked up from his collar to meet his eyes.

"A lingering look or touch on the shoulder or arm would be all right," Ianto finally said after a moment's thought. "But no kissing. And I'm _not_ going to hold your hand."

Jack pouted slightly, but leaned forward and captured Ianto's lips in a heated kiss. Ianto sank into it for a moment, returning the kiss with passion, but then gently pushed Jack away, moving Jack's hands from his hips.

"What part of 'no kissing' don't you understand?" Ianto demanded softly, moving to readjust Jack's collar again.

"I thought that was just for when we were with your family. We've kissed here before and you didn't mind."

"Yes, well, Rhi or Johnny or the kids could walk out here any minute, couldn't they? I might've just been outed, but I'm not ready for them to see us kissing!"

"Sorry!"

"It's ok. Now let's just go have a nice time, yeah?"

"I can still flirt shamelessly with everyone?" Jack asked as they walked towards the lounge area. Rhiannon and the children sat at a table coloring while Johnny, who Jack recognized from a picture Ianto showed him earlier, sat at the bar, a mostly-empty pint at his elbow.

"I wouldn't dare tell you not to, Jack," Ianto replied. He gave Jack's shoulder a squeeze and let his hand drop. "Let's have you meet Johnny, since you got to talk to Rhi at the Hub." Rhiannon smiled at them, nodding to tell them the same thing.

Johnny stood as the two men approached. He was dressed in a blue polo shirt and khaki trousers and looked ill at ease in the expensive hotel bar. Ianto introduced them and they shook hands politely.

"So, you're the poof who turned Ianto bender?" Johnny asked Jack, half-serious and half-joking. Ianto swallowed nervously. This was _not_ how he wanted the night to go. Jack smiled thinly and gripped Johnny's hand more firmly. He gave him a suggestive once-over that made Ianto blush and Johnny go pale. He stepped into Johnny's personal space, put his free hand on Johnny's shoulder, and lent in close to whisper in his ear.

"Jealous?" he asked in a seductive tone.

Johnny turned purple and shoved Jack away from him, then punched him in the face. Before Ianto could restrain either one of them, Jack hauled back and returned the favor, splitting Johnny's lip. They glared at each other, fire in both their eyes. Jack crossed his arms over his chest at the same time Johnny did.

"He might be a stuck-up bastard, but Ianto's my brother-in-law," Johnny began. "If you hurt him…" He trailed off menacingly.

"Ianto's my lover, and if you insult him again…" Jack responded in a similarly sinister tone.

The tension between the two men built and built and built, until, suddenly, it broke. Jack smiled widely and Johnny chuckled as they hugged each other tightly, pounding each other on the back.

"Oi, mate, I knew you couldn't be a soft one," Johnny said as they stood back to take each other's measure again.

"And I knew you weren't really a bigot," Jack answered. They nodded at each other, both satisfied for the moment. "Can I buy you a beer?"

***TW TW TW***

"Jack? Why is Johnny purple again?" Ianto asked when his very flustered brother-in-law decided to take the children up to the room and let Rhiannon 'enjoy the atmosphere,' as soon as Rhiannon and Ianto returned from taking the children to the toilets. Jack leaned back in his chair with a satisfied smile on his face.

"He asked a very personal and very inappropriate question, which I chose not to answer, so instead I extolled the virtues of anal sex and prostate stimulation. Really, I would have thought every adult male knew about it!"

"What?" Rhiannon yelped. "What did he ask?"

"You didn't?" Ianto muttered to himself, shaking his head. "No, scratch that. I know you did. Of course you did."

"He asked which of us took it up the arse," Jack answered, still grinning. "When I refused to answer, he commented that he couldn't understand why anyone would _want_ to do it in the first place, so I felt the need to educate him." He winked at Rhiannon. "I even gave him some pointers on -"

"Captain Harkness, good to see you again," a distinctly-accented voice said, interrupting him. They all looked up to see a tall man with dark hair and a bit of white at his temples. Immaculately dressed, he stood out even among the well-dressed patrons of the hotel dining room.

"Sebastian!" Jack exclaimed, rising. Ianto automatically stood with him, Rhiannon belatedly doing the same. "I don't think we've seen each other in a year. Are the birds returning? Tosh hasn't mentioned anything to me." The two men shook hands.

"You seem markedly relaxed this evening," Sebastian commented. He glanced in Ianto's direction and started.

"You remember Mr. Jones?" Jack asked. "This is his sister, Mrs. Davies." He indicated Rhiannon.

"A pleasure, madam," Sebastian said, bowing over her hand. He turned to Ianto. "You are well, I presume?"

"Fine, thanks," Ianto answered stiffly. "You?"

"I am happy to return to Cardiff." He glanced between Ianto, Jack and Rhiannon. "Might I have a word, Captain?" he asked. "It will take but a moment."

Jack nodded and followed him after shrugging at Ianto to apologize. Rhiannon turned to him as they sat down again.

"And what's all this, now?"

"Sebastian is a work contact of Jack's. We met once when he approached Jack and I at another restaurant. It was our first date, actually, though we didn't call it that, at the time."

"He's so formal," she commented. "And the way Jack introduced us..."

"Ah, well, Sebastian insulted me when we first met, so Jack had to threaten him, and, um, now Sebastian's extra careful around us. Plus, he's a _work_ contact," Ianto said again, stressing the appropriate word.

"Oh!" They watched in silence as Jack and Sebastian settled onto stools at the bar and ordered drinks. Sebastian paid. "You're not worried about that? It looks odd."

"Apparently they dated for about a month a while ago. Jack moved on; Sebastian, not so much."

"And yet he's also a _work_ contact?"

"Hmm," Ianto replied, still watching the pair at the bar. "Jack flirts a lot, but he's faithful," he told his sister. "He's nothing like Betha."

"She hurt you."

"It took me a long time to trust after that. I trusted Lisa, but not as much as I trust Jack."

"You love him," she stated.

"Very much."

At the bar, Jack finished his drink and slapped Sebastian on the back before returning to his table. "Ianto, do you mind texting Tosh to tell her the birds will be migrating back here over the next few weeks? Today's Chula and our quick intervention impressed them, so they trust us more than they did before."

Ianto pulled out his PDA and sent the text. "Anything else?"

"No. Sebastian wants a meeting with me later in the month to discuss terms. I gave him your number to schedule it. Hope you don't mind."

"I'll mind less once we hire a full-time admin person who can do this instead of me," Ianto muttered. "I'm adding that to our prospective hire list. And someone to do building maintenance. And maybe a dedicated office manager."

Jack grinned. "We're looking to expand," he explained to Rhiannon.

"I can see that," she replied. "Well, I think I've tarried down here long enough. Johnny'll be going mad getting those kids to bed." She hugged both of them, kissed Ianto's cheek, and promised, again, that she'd bring by a signed copy of the Official Secrets Act in the next day, as well as discuss with them whether or not to include Johnny in knowing what Ianto and Jack actually did for work.

As one, Jack and Ianto left the restaurant. Once in the lobby and assured that Rhiannon was on the lift, Ianto grabbed Jack's hand and squeezed it while they waited for the valet to bring around the car.

"Ok?" Jack asked, squeezing back.

"Ok," Ianto responded. "Now take me home to bed."


	88. Chapter 88: Something Borrowed, pt 1

**Torchwood Files: Season 2**

**Chapter 88: Something Borrowed, part 1**

**by Gracefultree**

A/N: Thank you all for following and sticking with me on this story! I've been mightily distracted by my newest works, but I haven't forgotten this one. This chapter focuses on several OC's, as well as Jack and Ianto, and if you don't like the kind of story that has OC focus, you might not be too interested in this particular chapter. I'll get back to the meat of the story/episode soon. I promise!

Meanwhile, enjoy this story and take a look at my others if you're so inclined. I'll have an update for 'I'anto of Torchwood Weyr' by next week, if my weekend of writing goes according to plan.

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"We have an _untraditional_ marriage," the man on the left said.

"So we're looking for jobs where we can coordinate time off," the man on the right added.

"Untraditional, how?" Jack asked, clasping his hands and leaning forward across his desk in the suite in an office block he and Ianto rented to do their interviews. Ianto sat beside him on the same side of the desk, taking notes on his laptop.

"Jack!" Ianto exclaimed, playing the part of the scandalized PA, though it was a scenario they'd rehearsed when talking about bringing in this particular couple. "You can't ask that question in an interview!"

"Who says?" Jack demanded playfully, already breaking out of their arranged character.

"I do. As head of HR & second in command, it's my responsibility to rein you in when you – "

"Kinky..."

"Jack!" Ianto turned to the men, blushing slightly. "Please excuse Jack. He hasn't fully developed his skills for _appropriate boundaries for the workplace_." he scowled at his lover.

"Come on, Ianto, you don't usually mind," Jack pouted.

"And I've told you a dozen times not to flirt with me during interviews or I'd just do them myself, so start behaving if you want a say in who we hire!"

Jack raised his hands in defeat. "Fine."

"You were saying?" Ianto asked, smiling at the pair in front of them.

"Right, well, we, um, we're intrigued to both work for the same company..."

"But we're not quite sure what you're looking for. The email we received was rather vague."

"Ah, yes. Intentionally so," Ianto said. He glanced at a piece of paper in his hand. "Dr. Benjamin Howard, 35 years old, holding a US and a French passport, though only a US citizen. BA from Columbia University, MD from Harvard. Residency in neurosurgery at Massachusetts General Hospital and a fellowship at Pitié-Salpêtrière Hospital in Paris. Three years in the trenches in London and a six-month sabbatical in Kenya. How did a neurosurgeon end up in Kenya?"

The two men glanced at each other.

"Family obligations brought us to Africa," Ben explained. "Once there I couldn't stand by and not help."

"You saw some strange things," Jack ventured.

"We both did," the other man answered.

"Mark Shapiro-Howard," Ianto declared, his eyes flicking between his paper and the man in front of him. "Thirty-three years old, American citizen, US and French passports. BA in creative arts from New York University, MFA from MassArt. No work record to speak of, yet you've become quite famous for your oil paintings of the supernatural."

"It follows me," Mark said. "Me and Benji, both. We've seen things – things you wouldn't believe."

"Don't rush to conclusions," Jack said. "You don't know what we'd believe." He waved a hand in Ianto's direction. "Ianto, the slides, please."

Pressing a few buttons on his PDA, Ianto activated a projector. On the wall behind him an image of an oil painting of a hunched humanoid form with deformed hands, leathery wrinkled skin and a ferociously dangerous set of teeth appeared. He clicked a button and a photograph of the same creature slid into place beside the painting.

"This is a weevil," Jack said. "A Hoix," he said of the second painting and photo pair. "A Venuvian from Venus IV in the Altarian sector of the Medusa Cascade and a personal friend of mine. A Cymbinian from the Vegas galaxies. A Thraxian. An Arcateenian." He continued naming aliens as Ianto moved through a total of twenty paintings and their photographic twins. "You, Mr. Shapiro-Howard, are painting aliens."

"Aliens? Real aliens?"

"Yep," Jack said proudly, popping the final p. "And Ianto and me work for an agency that protects the world from the bad ones and helps the good ones blend in so we can all live peacefully together on this small planet."

"Wow," Mark breathed.

"Next you're going to tell me that some of the people I've operated on are aliens?" Ben asked.

"Yep," Jack said again. Ianto started another slideshow, naming Ben's patients and their species, as well as showing their natural forms.

"My God," Ben whispered. "That Dr. Jones we met was right."

"Martha's a good friend of mine," Jack said. "She's the one who recommended you two for positions here when she heard we were hiring."

"Just who exactly _are_ you?" Ben asked.

"Captain Jack Harkness, director of the Torchwood Institute," Jack said. "This is my second in command, Ianto Jones."

"Torchwood," Mark mused. "I've heard that name somewhere before."

"Malcolm mentioned it once," Ben said. "Some kind of government group he shares technology with."

"Malcolm Delacroix and I dated for a few months back in the eighties," Jack said unashamedly.

Both men turned to him with looks of horror on their faces. "What?!"

"Yeah, I was in New York for a while and we hooked up. Brilliant man," Jack continued, not caring about their discomfort. "Loved the accent, and, man, was he good in bed!"

Ianto sighed. "Jack, try not to traumatize them too badly during the interview, please."

"You – you know Malcolm?" Ben asked softly.

"Yeah. We keep in touch every few years. I monitor his business. His DLC Industries has done wonders for the planet and looks to continue in that pattern if his research into low-cost electricity is as successful as his forays into instantaneous communication are anything to judge by. How is he? And how's that lovely wife of his? Nadia, was it? Oh, she was a wild one! We had some fun times, the three of us…"

"You're not bothered by hearing all this?" Mark whispered to Ianto. "Aren't you two together?"

"Yes, we are, and, to answer your first question, no, not at all. I know Jack has an - extensive - past, shall we say, but he's with me now, and we're monogamous unless we pick someone up together, so..."

"Wow," Mark said again.

"Well, I can't exactly get mad at him for an affair that ended when I was still in diapers, now, can I?" Ianto asked. "It's not fair to him. And if I understand your situation correctly..."

"You know about – "

"Of course," Ianto replied. "We do extensive research on prospective employees before we bring them in for interviews, even when recommended by good friends who's opinions we respect. You and Dr. Howard got together in high school, had a few rocky years in college, got back together and were married six years ago. Dr. Howard met Mr. Delacroix when he was in college. Mr. Delacroix was 38 at the time, I believe, while Dr. Howard was 20 and you were 18."

"His HR people –" Ben started.

"Are excellent," Jack interrupted. "There was no press leak. We have other ways of finding these things out."

"Malcolm will need to know – "

Jack grinned ferally. "He and his people couldn't stop us even if they wanted to. Torchwood has a great number of resources at its disposal. And those rings of yours are quite unique, aren't they?" He asked, pointing at their two sets of wedding bands. The first ring was a simple gold ring. The second was three colors of gold braided together with a strand of silver intertwined within the braid.

Mark swallowed nervously, twisting the pair of rings on his finger. He and Ben shared a look.

"What are you implying?" Ben finally asked.

"The two of you are in a committed relationship with Malcolm and his wife," Jack said. "That's the 'untraditional' part of your marriage. Now, we don't care who sleeps with who, or when, or how often, as long as it doesn't interfere with work, and we're not in the habit of outing people, but everyone on the team will have to know, just to keep everything above board. As it stands, only two others know so far, and – "

"And how is our personal life any of your business?" Ben demanded angrily.

"Our business is the safety of the human race. We need to be open with each other if we're going to do that."

"But our personal life—"

"You'll find that Torchwood and personal lives are often as intertwined as your rings," Ianto commented. "We employ my sister, as a matter of fact. And our neighbor and her son."

Jack made a quick hand gesture, cutting him off before he could continue. He picked up his desk phone and dialed a number by heart, then set it to speakerphone. After three rings, the call connected.

"Delacroix," said a polished male voice, his accent a mixture of French, British and African English.

"Malcolm," Jack said enthusiastically. "Jack Harkness."

"Ah, _capitán_, it is good to hear from you after so long. I trust you are well?"

"Yes, quite well, thanks. Listen, I'm calling because some of your associates are applying for jobs with me..."

"You wish references? Please contact my assistant, Nicholas. He will arrange –"

"Malcolm, it's me and Mark," Ben interrupted.

"Benjamin?" Malcolm asked, surprise coloring his tone. "How on earth- ?"

"We found them," Jack said. "They have skills I need."

"Hmm, perhaps the four of us should meet to discuss things in person," Malcolm mused aloud. "If that suits your schedule, of course, _capitán_."

"How soon could you get here?"

"You are still in Cardiff, I presume? A moment, please." Malcolm paused. "Nicholas, how soon can I be in Cardiff?" he called.

Another male voice answered, muffled by distance. "Cardiff, Wales?"

"Yes, Wales. It is an urgent matter concerning Benjamin and Mark."

"I can have your jet prepped in an hour... But we'll have to see what air traffic control – "

"Malcolm, tell him not to worry about that," Jack said loudly. "Ianto will arrange it so you can take off as soon as you're ready."

"Did you hear that, Nicholas?"

"Yes, sir. I'll call Reggie to drive you to the airport.""

"Excellent. Is that sufficient, _capitán_?"

"That's great. See you in a few hours. Feel free to bring your entourage. It could be educational for them."

"As you wish," Malcolm answered.

Jack hung up the phone. "We were only together five months, if I remember correctly," Jack added. "And that's a month short of him calling me a lover, if he hasn't changed his rules in the last twenty-five years."

"How old _are_ you?" Mark blurted. "You can't be more than forty, and that's pushing it! I'd say you were closer to thirty-five."

"Thank you for the complement," Jack said with a bright grin. "But I can't tell you until you've signed the Official Secrets Act."

"What are the jobs you're offering?" Ben asked. "Because this is all a bit unreal. Who are you that you can have Malcolm on a plane as soon as you snap your fingers? He barely does that for us, and we're sleeping with him!"

"I'm Torchwood," Jack said.

"What Jack means is that even a billionaire like Malcolm Delacroix recognizes that the planet's safety takes top priority," Ianto explained. "Torchwood is the best defense at this moment in time, and from his association with Jack and their continued contact, Malcolm is aware of that fact. He is simply making it easier for us all by coming here."

Ben sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. "What are the jobs?"

"You would be a second medic, working with our people and patching us up when we get injured. You'd have to be field-trained, of course, and so would you, Mark, but we'd try to keep you both in-house for the first six months if at all possible. We'd give you practice doing the autopsies of various aliens, learning from Owen, who's our medical director."

"Dr. Owen Harper," Ianto supplied.

"Mark, you'd be working for Ianto. He's also our Head Archivist, and he needs support with filing and maintaining the Archives, database management, that sort of thing. You'd also be doing shifts as our office manager until we hired someone specifically for that."

"Plus, with your artistic skills, you'd be perfect for helping with cover-ups," Ianto added. "Can you work with digital art?"

"I took classes, of course," Mark said. "But my favorite has always been oil or watercolor. I'm sure I could brush up on my digital skills."

Jack nodded happily. Ianto's computer pinged.

"Air traffic control in Paris and Cardiff have the information on Mr. Delacroix's jet and will give him priority," Ianto reported. "I estimate that he should be here within three hours."

"Excellent," Jack said. He rose, the three other men quickly getting to their feet as well. "Benjamin, Mark, go have some lunch and be back here in two and a half hours."

Ianto turned to Jack and smiled as soon as the door was shut behind the two men. "So, do you have a picture of this Malcolm?" he asked, his eyes sparkling. "I'd like to see what kind of man turned your head back then."

Jack kissed him gently. "Don't worry, _asha, _he won't turn my head anymore."

"Not worried," Ianto replied, pulling Jack closer. "Seems he has his hands full with those two _and_ a wife."

"From what I can tell, Mark and Nadia are the only ones not sleeping together," Jack murmured against Ianto's lips. He moved to kiss along Ianto's jaw. "But all three men are, and both Ben and Malcolm sleep with her."

"How do you figure?"

"I've had hundreds of years to master the art of figuring out who's sleeping with who."

"You're a few years short of two hundred," Ianto said with a sigh, melting against Jack's onslaught. He caught Jack's hand as it inserted itself into his fly. "Not yet, old man. Show me the picture first."

Jack gave him a playful squeeze and let go, moving to the laptop to pull up a picture of a well-dressed African man with elegant dreadlocks down to his waist and a brilliantly white smile in his dark face.

"He _is_ lovely," Ianto mused, leaning both hands on Jack's shoulder and peering at the picture. Jack pulled up a second picture, this one of Malcolm with a slightly lighter-skinned woman on his arm, both dressed to the nines with coordinating outfits. "His waistcoat matches her dress!" Jack pulled up a third picture, a painting of a nude Malcolm and Benji in an intimate embrace.

"Mark's project for his master's degree was a series of nudes, including a few of his men," Jack explained, opening yet another picture.

"Is he really that big?" Ianto asked, awed. "He almost gives you a run for your money!"

Jack chuckled. "Mark didn't embellish," he answered. "Now, what was that earlier about picking up people together? That's not something we actually ever discussed."

Ianto blushed. "Oh, well, I assumed you'd want to at some point. We've got a long time together. Might be nice to spice things up."

"Because things are so dull now?"

"No! I mean, in a billion years, maybe… or a trillion. Who knows? We might never want to. But I'd be open to talk about it."

"I like the way you think, Mr. Jones," Jack said, shutting the laptop and pouncing. "Always surprising me."


End file.
